Super Mario Galaxy.

[General Smiley]

Hi, this is my first ever Fan Fiction story. In this story, jedi master's Mario and Luigi fight to save the universe. I will try to add on to it as much a possible. Hope you enjoy!

 

[spoiler=proluge]Long ago, in a galaxy far far away, a war that had been raging for centuries finally came to an end. It was a battle of good and evil. A corrupt republic was fighting the evel separatists. The war raged on for what seemed to be a never ending time. The jedi, masters of the force, aided the republic. However, many turned to the separatists in seek of pure power. During the war, jedi master Anakin Skywalker joined the dark side as well. He was thought to be defeated by His teacher, Obi wan Kenobi, but was saved by the separatists who nurtured him back to health. It was then that he sought his revenge. He attacked the republic, and destroyed many of the jedi with his army. Before joining the dark side, he had fallen in love with padme amidilla, a senator from a distant planet. Together, they had a child, who one day grew up to become a powerful jedi as well. The child's name was Luke, and he eventually met up with his father. He was brought to anakin's leader, and was going to be killed. Anakin could not watch his son be destroyed, and so he killed his master. Sadly, he too was wounded, and killed. After this victory, Luke celebrated with his friends. They celebrated their victory over the separatists, and thought that there would finally be some peace. Hundreds of years passed, and a new order was established. A king and queen were carefully selected to rule over the universe. They strived to contain the peace of the universe, and did so for a time. But, soon they grew old, and knew that their daughter Peach would soon have to rule. They knew she would be a fine ruler, and could do more than they could have ever imagined. But, little did they know that in the deep reaches of space, a dark ruler was thwarting to take over the universe, and seize complete control. Every day, his strength was growing until he would finally be strong enough to destroy the powerful order that had formed. And thus, the story began.

 

 

[spoiler=Episode 1: Maintaining The Peace]

A large ship patrols the galaxy, helping to maintain peace in the galaxy. They stop on a small planet for supplies, and are surprised to find a town being raided by a group of bandits. They move forth, drawing their blasters, ready to help. They enter the village, and are immediately enveloped in enemy troops. The soldiers smile as they are surrounded. It has been some time since they have been in a good brawl. They lift their blasters, and prepare to fight, when their leader suddenly lifts his hand, signaling them to halt. They do as they are told, and holster their weapons. They look to their leader for his next command, but he instead looks at the bandits and says calmly, "Where is your leader?"

The bandits are surprised by his action, but still allow their leader to step forth. He is a tall stalky man, with a tipped hat and a brown coat. His face is dark, and his eyes are dead black. "What is it you want?" The bandit says with a deep dark voice.

" My name is commander Rex", He replies. "We have stopped for supplies, and if you give them to us, we will leave peacefully."

"What makes you think we will help you?"

"My troops could easily overwhelm you. And even if you did win, and we didn't report back to headquarters, reinforcements would be sent to find us. You would be easily defeated."

The bandit grunts angrily. "Fine, what do you need?" he asks.

Rex quickly recites a short list of items, and the bandit tells one of his troops to go fetch them. The man returns a minute later, carrying everything they need. One of the soldiers steps forward and takes them, and then hurries them back to the ship. "Thank you", says Rex, and then he motions his soldiers to return to the ship.

Once they are out of earshot of the bandits, one of the troops approaches their leader and shouts, "Have you gone mad? We could have stopped those bandits, and saved those people! How could you just leave them there to die?"

"Calm yourself!" Yells Rex. He pauses for a second before saying, "What is the first thing they teach you about war in military shool?"

The soldier straightens, and replies, "They teach you that war is not a game."

"And what makes it different from a simple game?"

The soldier frowns, and says, "In a game, No one actually dies."

"So, what would have happened if we had attacked those bandits back there?

"People could have died", he says quietly.

"Exactly! If we had attacked, not only could those civilians have been injured, or worse, but we could have lost some of our men as well."

"But now the bandits will continue hurting those people!"

Rex smiles. "Which is why I have a plan."

The soldier laughs. "You always do", he says.

They reach their ship within minutes, and quickly go inside. Once they have lifted off the ground, Rex tells his soldiers to enable the battle systems.

"But sir", one of the soldiers says. "I thought you said we would leave the town in peace."

"True", replies Rex. "But I never said what we would do after we left."

The troops quickly enable the long range missiles. "What do we do now?" Asks a soldier.

"We wait", says Rex. "As soon as the bandits are away from the city, fire the missiles. That way, the civilians won't be hurt"

"Understood commander."

The soldiers wait for a few minutes. Then, the bandits leave the town with the supplies they have stolen. Rex gives his soldiers the order to fire the missiles. There is a large hissing sound as the missile launches through the air. The bandits see the missile from a ways off, and begin to run. But it is too late. The missile flies through the air towards the bandits, and explodes.

"We have a hit commander", confirms a soldier.

"Good", replies Rex. "Send for reinforcements on this planet to prevent further attacks."

"Understood." And with that, they headed home, tired of a long day of work.

 

 

Princess Peach sits in her quarters, knitting a sweater for the upcoming winter. Suddenly, their is a knock on her door. "Come in", she says.

A small man walks in carrying his cane. He is the ambassador of the new order. "Your majesty, I come to you with grave news", he says. "Your Parents are ill, and request to see you."

"Very well", she says. "Will you take me to them?"

"Of course."

He leads her down a a large corridor, and then to the thrown room, where the king and queen sit quietly. They do not look good. There skin is pale white, and they sit very still. Peach approaches them, and says, "Mother, Father, what is wrong?"

Her father looks up at her and says, "Peach, my darling. Your mother and I are very ill, and we fear that the end is near for us. We have called you into here today to pass on the sacred knowledge that we have protected for so long."

Peach freezes, shocked and terrified. "You can't die!" she says. "I'm not ready to become queen yet! How can I go on without you?!" She begins to sob.

Her mother looks at her as well, and says, "Darling, don't cry. All will be well soon. You are more than prepared to become queen. You will do fine."

They wait for Peach to calm herself slightly. Then, her father says, "Now, about the sacred knowldedge. It has been passed down from generation to generation. Tell me, do you remember the story about the jedi?

Peach sighs. "Of course", she says. "They saved the universe long ago, but after the great war, few remained. They were said to have gone extinct decades ago."

Her father smiles. "Yes, all of that is true, except for the last part."

Peach gasps. "You mean...?"

"Exactly. I have heard reports that there are two remaining jedi somewhere in the farthest known quadrant of space. If this is true, this may be exactly what we need to finally establish complete peace in the universe. I would pursue this futher, but with the current circumstances, I would prefer it if you did."

Peach looks at him with surprise. "No! There is no way that I could even think about you dying now! There has to be something we can do!"

"No", her father says gravely. "The doctors have tried everything. This is the way it will be."

So peach sat with them for the next few hours, talking about what she would do as the queen. They talked about war topics, like what to do if they were ever attacked. They discussed which people to look out for, and which people she could trust. But most of all, they spoke of maintaining the peace. Later that night, Peach goes back to her quarters to sleep. She is awakened late that night, by the amabssador. He looks very grave. He tells her that her parents have just recently died, and that a funeral will be held the next day. After that, he appologizes for her loss, and leaves her alone in her room. She cries herself to sleep that night, and dreams about the jedi, and how there may still be some hope of peace.

 

[Zorbak55]

I, tyler's bro, am the illustrator. He's the author.

 

I will create all of the pics in this story. I even made the cover.

[CrabHelmet]

Mind if I give my opinion?

[General Smiley]

Finally! Episode one is here! I will probably have a new episode sometime next week. Hope you enjoy! (Check my thread above to see episode one)

---

Ps. Mario and Luigi will be showing up in the story soon, so stay tuned!

---

BTW, feel free to say whatever you like. I'm no professional author, and I can understand if you don't like my story. No author ever makes a great story on their first try. In some cases, people have redone the first page dozens of times before anyone ever even agreed to publish it! So feel free to state your opinion.

[Zorbak55]

...

[CrabHelmet]

Once upon a time, a man named Theodore Sturgeon observed that ninety percent of everything is trash. Nowhere is this more evident than in the world of Fan Fiction, where the majority of works are garbage, riddled with endless clichés, plot holes, and character derailments and totally lacking in any redeeming qualities.

 

The remaining ten percent, however, is to die for, and occasionally there arises a tale that transcends the standard fare. These masterpieces rival or even surpass the original work itself in terms of quality. They feature original, clever, epic plots, with rounded and dynamic characters populating a well-developed world. The dialogue is realistic and enjoyable to read; when exposition is necessary, it is introduced at a sensible pace and keeps the reader immersed; the characters remain sensibly true to their canon characterizations and are not forced to act like idiots to develop the plot; and the overall experience is something that leaves the reader feeling simultaneously satisfied and hungry for more. And it goes without saying that these brilliant works are heavily proofread to ensure the eradication of any errors.

 

This is not one of those stories.

 

If you are a fan of quality fanfics but you are a foe of mediocre-to-bad fanfics, then you've come to the wrong place - because today is a day for Foe Fiction.

 

YCM forums. You will never find a more wretched hive of hacks and morons. And this is a Mario / Star Wars crossover fanfic that begins with a "proluge" that has no line breaks whatsoever. I have a bad feeling about this.

 

Long ago, in a galaxy far far away,

 

I find your lack of exact quotes disturbing.

 

a war that had been raging for centuries finally came to an end.

 

Mmm. Lost a war, one side has. How embarrassing. How embarrassing.

 

It was a battle of good and evil. A corrupt republic

 

If the republic is corrupt, then how can you say it's "good" without qualification? Only a bad writer speaks in absolutes!

 

was fighting the evel separatists.

 

From your point of view, the separatists are spelled E-V-E-L? Then you are lost!

 

The war raged on for what seemed to be a never ending time.

 

You already said it lasted for centuries. Tyler, I suggest a new strategy: let the Wookie read a less repetitive story.

 

The jedi, masters of the force, aided the republic. However, many turned to the separatists in seek of pure power.

 

Good! Their hate has made them more powerful.

 

During the war, jedi master Anakin Skywalker joined the dark side as well.

 

Is there any real need to recap the canon Star Wars events like Anakin turning evil that everyone already knows? Remember, a writer's strength flows from the words. But beware. Repetition, mediocrity, exposition. The Dark Side are they. Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your writing. Tyler... Tyler... do not... do not underestimate the tedium of the repetition or suffer a hack's fate you will.

 

He was thought to be defeated by His teacher, Obi wan Kenobi,

 

The incorrect capitalization is strong with this one!

 

but was saved by the separatists who nurtured him back to health. It was then that he sought his revenge.

 

The revenge came afterward? I always thought that that happened at the end of the revenge of the Sith.

 

He attacked the republic, and destroyed many of the jedi with his army.

 

When it comes to overly-recapping the movies, here's my advice: do, or do not. In fact, just do not.

 

Before joining the dark side, he had fallen in love with padme amidilla, a senator from a distant planet.

 

More unnecessary recapping. Yahoo. Your point isn't all clear, kid. This thing blows; let's go home.

 

Together, they had a child,

 

Just one?

 

Luke: "But I have a sister!"

 

Mm. To protect her from the Author, she was hidden from the writer when you were born. The Author knew, as I did, that if Anakin were to have any offspring, they would be put in a bad story. That is the reason why your sister remains safely anonymous, to the point where the person writing this isn't even aware of her existence. She is safe from this bad writing.

 

who one day grew up to become a powerful jedi as well. The child's name was Luke, and he eventually met up with his father. He was brought to anakin's leader, and was going to be killed. Anakin could not watch his son be destroyed, and so he killed his master. Sadly, he too was wounded, and killed.

 

Enough of this! Tyler - and Tyler's unnamed brother - you don't need to recap the original movies!

 

We don't need to recap the original movies.

 

This is not the writing style you're looking for.

 

This is not the writing style we're looking for.

 

Don't force us to reach this! Let us go about our business!

 

He can go about his business.

 

Now stop wasting our time with this drivel. Move along! Move along!

 

After this victory, Luke celebrated with his friends. They celebrated their victory

 

Now you're recapping YOURSELF. Maybe I should try recapping the last sentence of my commentary. It might be a good idea for me to try recapping the last sentence of my commentary. Perhaps I should recap my commentary. Recapping myself might be a good idea. Incidentally, if you are a fan of quality fanfics but you are a foe of mediocre-to-bad fanfics, then you've come to the wrong place - because today is a day for endless recapping.

 

over the separatists, and thought that there would finally be some peace.

 

This obvious statement is my kind of scum: not even remotely inventive.

 

Hundreds of years passed, and a new order was established. A king and queen were carefully selected to rule over the universe.

 

Wait, a king and a queen were "carefully selected"? How does that work exactly? I mean, I know Naboo has an elected monarch or something stupid like that, but even so, it doesn't make sens- NOBLESSE OBLIGE. PLEASE CONTINUE TO BE A MESSIAH.

 

They strived to contain the peace of the universe, and did so for a time. But, soon they grew old,

 

That's fair. Sick have they become, old and weak... When nine hundred years old you reach, look as good you will not, hmm? Speaking of which, this introduction feels like it took nine hundred years to get to this actual content, and sick have I become of it. I was starting to think that it might be a good idea to start recapping my commentary.

 

and knew that their daughter Peach would soon have to rule. They knew she would be a fine ruler, and could do more than they could have ever imagined.

 

Either Peach's character is being severely derailed or these rules are unable to imagine a simple kidnapping. Then again, I suppose that's understandable. It's their imagination, kid. Come on. It's fine to keep a little optimism here.

 

But, little did they know that in the deep reaches of space, a dark ruler was thwarting to take over the universe,

 

OF COURSE!

 

..wait a minute. "Thwarting"? You are unwise to raise your defenses. Against proofreading.

 

and seize complete control. Every day, his strength was growing until he would finally be strong enough to destroy the powerful order that had formed. And thus, the story began.

 

No, seriously, that was the prologue. Seventy-five percent of it was a rehash of the actual movies that anyone who might actually want to read a Star Wars fanfic would already know. Let me recap the remaining twenty-five percent for you:

 

1) Peach is a princess.

2) A villain exists.

 

Thanks for that brilliant storytelling, champ. What was the point of all this, Tyler?

 

I've been waiting for you, Crab Helmet. We meet again, at last. The circle is now complete. When I left you, I was but the reader; now I am the writer.

 

Only a writer of garbage, Tyler. I trust the actual first chapter is better than the "proluge"? Or is it just as bad? Does it need my commentary too? Or is it all right?

 

Uh, everything's under control. Situation normal.

 

Then what happened to make the "proluge" so awful?

 

Uh, we had a slight stuff-actually-happening malfunction, but uh... everything's perfectly all right now. It's fine. It's all fine here now, thank you. How are you?

 

We're sending a reviewer up.

 

Episode 1: Maintaining The Peace

A large ship patrols the galaxy, helping to maintain peace in the galaxy.

 

There are paragraph breaks formatted like a regular document, but the fact that forums don't display indents makes it a hideous wall of text that wraps at random times! Even though this might indicate that this was typed in a word processor like MSWord, a quick skim for those red wavy underlines shows that MSWord's spellchecker still went unused! The present tense is being used for no logical reason - in fact, the setting of this story ("long ago" according to the proluge, and "a long time ago" according to the films) makes this one of the only places where the present tense is not only awkward but also strictly wrong! And the very first sentence even recaps the chapter title!

 

That's it. I can't read any further. We haven't even gotten to the real crossover and it's already too awful to read. But how could they be writing something this terrible... if they don't know we're coming?

 

Everything that has sucked has done so according to my design. Your fellow reviewers, up there on the Post Reply screen, are reading into a trap, as are your readers. It was I who allowed Foe Fiction to know the location of this horrible fanfic. It is quite safe from your pitiful little reviewers. An entire legion of my worst mistakes awaits them. Oh, I'm afraid the blatant spelling errors will be quite operational when your friends arrive.

 

DO NOT WANT!

 

Yes, you really thought you'd be able to make it through this story, didn't you? Your overconfidence is your weakness.

 

Your faith in your writing skills is yours. If you think something of this quality is acceptable, I'm afraid you're gravely mistaken. I don't need to read any further into the first chapter to know that it can't be anything better than horrible unless it got an author transplant. The proluge waffled on in an unreadable wall of text saying nothing new, recapping the prequel trilogy, the original trilogy, and other parts of the proluge (which gave me the idea of recapping my commentary) before going on to state the blatantly obvious.

 

You can't win, Crab. If you strike my proluge down, Episode 1 shall become more terrible than you could possibly imagine.

 

And it did, turning the unreadability up to eleven. Traveling through awful stories ain't like dusting crops, boy! Besides, continuing through that mess ain't my idea of courage. It's more like suicide. Great shot at writing something terrible, kid, that was one in a million! A Mario / Star Wars crossover is a pretty stupid idea from the start, but this piece became impossible before the crossover even really emerged. I give up. I can't go any further. Help me, Phantom Roxas; you're my only hope.

[Phantom Roxas]

Help me' date=' Phantom Roxas; you're my only hope.

[/quote']

 

Sure thing. Mind if I add on, Tyler?

[Zorbak55]

He doesnt.

---

Crab helmet's hillarious! Are you just as humerous?

[General Smiley]

What ever. Crab helmet is one serious guy. Hey Crab helmet. Would you like to join club nerd and help us take over the world? Strategist, club nerd's owner has already mentioned you several times, and you would obviously be accepted.

---

Oh, and this thread is over for now. If you want to add on go ahead. I don't care. If I ever make another Fan Fic, I will be sure to follow all of crab's advice, and make sure that if he come within one hundred posts of this, I will have a restraining order placed against him. I mean it.

---

Also crab helmet, I don't get you. You complain about me over re-capping, but then you complain about me not mentioning anakin's other daughter. If I had gone on to mention her, you would have complained more about re-capping, but since I didn't, you complained about me not mentioning her. It is an impossible situation with you, isn't it? No matter what anyone does, you always find some way to down them. Tell me, exactly what threads are in the ten percent of the good ones? Which ever ones they are, I could still probably find errors, mispellings, and grammar mistakes in them. That is the problem with you. You don't look for the good in people. Only the bad. When you find a small error in a story, you make it a huge deal, and don't quit complaining about it. So, if you think this sucks, fine. You don't have to go on an exravaganza about it. In a few simple sentences, you could have explained the main errors of my ways, corrected my major mistakes, announced that you did not enjoy reading my fan fic, and left with your head held high. Instead, you went on and on about my smallest errors, complained that I mispelled words, and annoyed the heck out of me for a simple increase in popularity. Every time someone sees your posts, they come running to see them, like vultures flying in to eat the carcass of a dead animal in the street. This, of course is why you are so popular on YCM. People see you as funny and different, and you become famous for it. I could have pointed out the exact same errors you did. Now, I could go on about some of the mistakes you made when you were pointing out my errors, but instead of going on about that, and every other aspect of your life that I find is an error, I will leave this thread with my head held high, knowing that I managed to keep my cool, and not go on a rant about every detail, no matter how small, that I thought needed mentioning. Good day to you.

[Zorbak55]

Lol. I said the same thing (in different words) in the pokemon splicer club. People always mention each and every minor mistake they make, when they could, and should just look at the overview. I made a great splice and they had to point out every tiny little pixel off. Instead of doing that, why dont they just look at it overall, and say it looks great, cuz that's the truth. Now that my friends, is extreme extravaganza!

[Weather Report - Stand]

What ever. Crab helmet is one serious guy. Hey Crab helmet. Would you like to join club nerd and help us take over the world? Strategist' date=' club nerd's owner has already mentioned you several times, and you would obviously be accepted.[hr']

Oh, and this thread is over for now. If you want to add on go ahead. I don't care. If I ever make another Fan Fic, I will be sure to follow all of crab's advice, and make sure that if he come within one hundred posts of this, I will have a restraining order placed against him. I mean it.

---

Also crab helmet, I don't get you. You complain about me over re-capping, but then you complain about me not mentioning anakin's other daughter. If I had gone on to mention her, you would have complained more about re-capping, but since I didn't, you complained about me not mentioning her. It is an impossible situation with you, isn't it? No matter what anyone does, you always find some way to down them. Tell me, exactly what threads are in the ten percent of the good ones? Which ever ones they are, I could still probably find errors, mispellings, and grammar mistakes in them. That is the problem with you. You don't look for the good in people. Only the bad. When you find a small error in a story, you make it a huge deal, and don't quit complaining about it. So, if you think this sucks, fine. You don't have to go on an exravaganza about it. In a few simple sentences, you could have explained the main errors of my ways, corrected my major mistakes, announced that you did not enjoy reading my fan fic, and left with your head held high. Instead, you went on and on about my smallest errors, complained that I mispelled words, and annoyed the heck out of me for a simple increase in popularity. Every time someone sees your posts, they come running to see them, like vultures flying in to eat the carcass of a dead animal in the street. This, of course is why you are so popular on YCM. People see you as funny and different, and you become famous for it. I could have pointed out the exact same errors you did. Now, I could go on about some of the mistakes you made when you were pointing out my errors, but instead of going on about that, and every other aspect of your life that I find is an error, I will leave this thread with my head held high, knowing that I managed to keep my cool, and not go on a rant about every detail, no matter how small, that I thought needed mentioning. Good day to you.

 

Uhhhh... well, I can say something Crabhelmet somehow missed. How come this story was called 'Super Mario Galaxy.' with a random period, and yet it had way more to do with Star Wars... from what we've seen? For your next story, if you're planning to do another really, really dumb-sounding crossover and don't plan to make it a comedy, then you should put more emphasis onto the main event than the really, REEEALLY long backstory thrown at us. (Most of the) Backstory can come later when people care, as long as you can tell us the gist of the story and explain as you go. So there, that's what I gots to say.

 

Also, Crabhelmet's not a guy and is smarter than most people on this forum, so... yeah, I'd suggest you don't demean her with your nonsense before you get ANOTHER verbal smackdown. Wait, now I sound like I'm afraid of her. Am I really afraid of her?! OH MY GOSH.

 

TO BE CONTINUED...

[General Smiley]

What ever. Crab helmet's opinion's matter little to me. I could simply say she was stupid. Would that really be true? Well, probably not. And although most of the stuff she said is true, my point is still valid. If I called someone stupid, and they really were, they would probably ignore me, and walk off laughing. That is exactly what I am doing with crab helmet. And as for the verbal smackdown, Crab helmet can give me her worst.

[Weather Report - Stand]

Weeeell... okay then, I got nuthin' else t'add here.

[Phantom Roxas]

Well, care if I do my own review for Chapter 1?

[General Smiley]

no, I don't care.

[CrabHelmet]

What ever. Crab helmet is one serious guy.

 

You can tell how serious I am by the lack of Star Wars quotes in my review. (And the "guy" part is wrong too.)

 

Hey Crab helmet. Would you like to join club nerd and help us take over the world? Strategist' date=' club nerd's owner has already mentioned you several times, and you would obviously be accepted.

[/quote']

 

I have no need of this club.

 

---

 

DOUBLEPOST

 

For when you just can't find the edit button.

 

Oh' date=' and this thread is over for now. If you want to add on go ahead. I don't care. If I ever make another Fan Fic, I will be sure to follow all of crab's advice, and make sure that if he come within one hundred posts of this, I will have a restraining order placed against him. I mean it.

[/quote']

 

"My next story will follow all of Crab's helpful advice. I hate Crab and don't want Crab coming anywhere near it."

 

---

 

TRIPLEPOST

 

Because Edit buttons are for chumps.

 

Also crab helmet' date=' I don't get you. You complain about me over re-capping, but then you complain about me not mentioning anakin's other daughter. If I had gone on to mention her, you would have complained more about re-capping, but since I didn't, you complained about me not mentioning her. It is an impossible situation with you, isn't it? No matter what anyone does, you always find some way to down them.

[/quote']

 

You shouldn't be over-recapping in the first place, but once you commit yourself to over-recapping, you should at least make sure your over-recapping provides an accurate overview of previous events, and inaccuracies - such as implying that Luke was an only child - are a bad thing.

 

Tell me' date=' exactly what threads are in the ten percent of the good ones?

[/quote']

 

After reviewing thirty-seven stories here, I've found two, maybe three good ones. Phantom Roxas, the chap offering to review Chapter 1 of this, is the author of one of them.

 

Which ever ones they are' date=' I could still probably find errors, mispellings, and grammar mistakes in them.

[/quote']

 

Good authors employ something called "proofreading". No, the good stories I found weren't absolutely flawless in every way, but trust me, the gap between your story and perfection is more than one comma splice.

 

That is the problem with you. You don't look for the good in people. Only the bad.

 

I give props even to bad authors when they do something right. Your story just didn't HAVE any good qualities.

 

No' date=' seriously. The entire prologue was a recap - and not even a good recap - of the Star Wars canon, with the only original elements being, as I noted at the end, "PEACH IS A PRINCESS" and "A VILLAIN EXISTS". There was literally nothing to praise.

 

When you find a small error in a story, you make it a huge deal, and don't quit complaining about it.

 

"The entire thing is a garbage recap of the canon with no original elements" is not a "small error", Tyler.

 

So' date=' if you think this sucks, fine. You don't have to go on an exravaganza about it.

[/quote']

 

Sure I do. That's what I do. And if I don't go on an extravaganza exravaganza, I won't be entertaining anyone.

 

In a few simple sentences' date=' you could have explained the main errors of my ways, corrected my major mistakes, announced that you did not enjoy reading my fan fic, and left with your head held high.

[/quote']

 

As opposed to humiliating myself and leaving in disgrace with my head drooping down. (That happened, right?)

 

Instead' date=' you went on and on about my smallest errors, complained that I mispelled words,

[/quote']

 

You mean words like "misspelled"?

 

And no, spelling is not a small error in writing. You can't write if you can't spell. It's not even that hard to fix - a primary school education and a willingness to proofread will usually suffice - which means that spelling errors can only persist if the author takes so little pride in his own work that he doesn't even care about the quality.

 

and annoyed the heck out of me

 

Don't consider a career in writing. See' date=' writers have these things called "editors", and these editors will do things like telling you things they didn't like in your story and correcting you when your spelling and grammar make your story look like it was written by a third grader forced to write while blindfolded. And if my meager criticism is enough to annoy "the heck out of" you, I'm pretty sure any serious criticism would be enough to induce either suicidal depression or homicidal rage.

 

for a simple increase in popularity.

 

Between the two of us, only one has demonstrated that he does not take pride in his work. So which of us is slumming it writing something terrible purely for the purpose of the obviously-vital e-popularity? Hmm?

 

Every time someone sees your posts' date=' they come running to see them, like vultures flying in to eat the carcass of a dead animal in the street.

[/quote']

 

Best analogy ever.

 

This' date=' of course is why you are so popular on YCM. People see you as funny and different, and you become famous for it.

[/quote']

 

Whereas, in fact, I am not funny and they are merely being cunningly deluded into thinking they're laughing.

 

I could have pointed out the exact same errors you did.

 

You could have pointed out all the problems with this' date=' and yet you went and posted it anyhow? Why?

 

Now, I could go on about some of the mistakes you made when you were pointing out my errors,

 

Do it.

 

No, seriously. If you think my review is so horrible that you could go through it and pick out all sorts of errors, prove it.

 

In fact, to make it even easier for you, go to my Foe Fiction topic. There are thirty-seven reviews there. I'll give you free reign to pick and choose the absolute worst of those thirty-seven reviews - any of them, whichever you think is the absolute worst and the low point of my ever-horrible writing! - and tear it to shreds. Go ahead. Be my guest.

 

I'm open to criticism. Find my worst abomination and show me how horrible it is.

 

but instead of going on about that' date='

[/quote']

 

Ah, so you're doing that making-huge-claims-you-can't-actually-support route. I see. I suppose it is efficient; after all, claiming to be capable of doing something is certainly a lot easier than actually doing it.

 

and every other aspect of your life that I find is an error' date='

[/quote']

 

Just like in that one part of my review where I made fun of you for tripping and falling down the stairs that one time; for getting a B on that Geography test; and for leaving your wallet in your other pants when you went to the supermarket.

 

I did that, right?

 

I will leave this thread with my head held high' date=' knowing that I managed to keep my cool,

[/quote']

 

Did you? Your triple post seems to be showing quite a breakdown. The first post says I'm "serious" but is otherwise nice and invites me to join a club; the second post says I gave advice you can learn from but tells me to stay away from anything else you write (apparently learning and improving isn't really all that important to you); and the third post collapses and has you ranting about how I, uh, gave you too much criticism. It sure looks like each post has you becoming less and less cool.

 

and not go on a rant about every detail' date=' no matter how small, that I thought needed mentioning. Good day to you.

[/quote']

 

I love how your next post talks about how you don't really care what I think... after you wrote this massive wall of text (no paragraph breaks, because you religiously disbelieve in the "enter" key) about how I was too much of a meaniehead. If you care so little, why are you reacting so strongly?

[SHAPOOPEE]

awful

[Zorbak55]

One thing I dont like about everybody on all of YCM, is they always say not to double post. Why did the YCM MAKER even make it POSSIBLE to double post if people are just gonna down you for it. The next time I see that happen, that person is getting negged.

[Weather Report - Stand]

One thing I dont like about everybody on all of YCM' date=' is they always say not to double post. Why did the YCM MAKER even make it POSSIBLE to double post if people are just gonna down you for it. The next time I see that happen, that person is getting negged.

[/quote']

 

Well, news for you buddy, a good chunk of the internet feels like that. Try any other forums (except for those devoid of intelligence, or 'teh smartiez'). They think that double-posting is really shoddy, ugly and careless. So, um, yeah, there's my random response.

 

Also I think I can see the future through evidence of earlier postingness.

[CrabHelmet]

One thing I dont like about everybody on all of YCM' date=' is they always say not to double post. Why did the YCM MAKER even make it POSSIBLE to double post if people are just gonna down you for it. The next time I see that happen, that person is getting negged.

[/quote']

 

First of all, not double-posting is fairly common etiquette on forums with edit buttons.

 

Second of all, YCMaker actually did make it more difficult to double-post; if you try to post again too soon after your previous post and before anyone else has replied, your two posts are merged with a horizontal rule between them. However, it is still very much considered chide-worthy to have those giant horizontal rules in your post, as it shows that you attempted to double-post and were too lazy to even edit them out... but in Tyler's case, they might be a good thing, since at least they created paragraph breaks.

[Zorbak55]

I know, but what if you post, but it turns out the person before you had edited they're post before you finished your post? I know for a fact that not everybody on the face of the planet wants to edit almost every time they post. BTW, again, the YCMaker could have easily made it so instead of posting, it just leaves some space between each post, almost as if you just hit enter twice. So I'll ask again. Why did the YCM MAKER even make it POSSIBLE to double post if people are just gonna down you for it?

[Weather Report - Stand]

I know' date=' but what if you post, but it turns out the person before you had edited they're post before you finished your post? I know for a fact that not everybody on the face of the planet wants to edit almost every time they post. BTW, again, the YCMaker could have easily made it so instead of posting, it just leaves some space between each post, almost as if you just hit enter twice. So I'll ask again. Why did the YCM MAKER even make it POSSIBLE to double post if people are just gonna down you for it?

[/quote']

 

Name a site that has creators with enough time, energy and care to do that. Also, what does the top part have to do with ANYTHING? What's wrong if somebody edits a post before you do? Just either let the conversation go or edit correctly. Now before we start cyberbullying somebody without realizing it, I'd say it's about time to let this thread get locked and die. Okay with you two people? Ready to write something better and stop talking about random, slightly-linked topics?

[Zorbak55]

Lol. You really dont see my point... Do you? It's very very easy to fix that. And instead of fixing it, he just leaved it how it is because he didnt think ppl would get negged for double posting, like me.

[Weather Report - Stand]

This is going nowhere. If the story's been canceled already, why aren't we getting any locking action?

[Zorbak55]

Who knows. This is my first post after 1000!