Phantom's Divinations |23 is Number 1!|

[Dr. Cakey]

"Chronicler"

 

Hm...no one will get this, but...

 

[Phantom Roxas]

Hah, I was wondering if someone would notice that, since it was supposed to be a reference.

[Super Chaos Sonic]

The thought of that crossed my mind, Roxas. XD

 

Nice Cakey!! LOL

[PikMan]

Although I vowed several times never to do it... I wrote a new fanfic. Care to take a gander at it?

 

http://forum.yugiohc...84#entry5654384

 

EDIT: On second thought, DON'T.

[Phantom Roxas]

[spoiler=22 Acacia Avenue - {Yu-Gi-Oh! Arcane Mysteries}]Happy New Year, humans. Now that it is officially 2012, the hour of Armageddon approaches. Either those silly conspiracy theories come to pass, or I can speed things up a bit. Alas, more recruits are necessary, and unfortunately, next up is Ryu. I'm rather surprised that this will be my first time at a Duel Academy. Considering how much of a blatant Jaden clone Ryu was, I'm sure he would be in Slifer Red. Now, to draw him out.

 

Hey, Milo, wake up! You gotta see this! There's some kind of shark outside our dorm! Man, he's a heavy sleeper. I better see what's going on.

 

Salutations, Ryu. Allow me to introduce myself. I am a Duel Spirit by the name of Votek. I require your assistance in defeating a great evil.

 

A Duel Spirit? I knew there were real! So, what do you need me to do?

 

Not much, or at least, not at the moment. I simply need your help with reviewing this fanfiction.

 

Sure! What's it called?

 

It is called Yu-Gi-Oh! Arcane Mysteries, written by Dworkin.

 

Alright, let's get started!

 

We'll begin with the prologue.

 

“You cannot banish me! I am stronger than you!” A dark-skinned man in a white coat shouted.

 

Sorry, but all I can do is picture this guy as Morgan Freeman as God.

 

“Ha ha ha….you cannot begin to imagine the power I have obtained…..Goodbye old friend.” A large, shadowy creature was saying.

 

Obviously this is the villain, but with the first guy's take on "This cannot be!", both of the characters so far have had clichéd villain dialogue. Of course, as Shadow Man regarded the first guy as an old friend, I am sure that these two characters have a long and complicated history that will be developed over the course of-

 

It reached out a long clawed hand, and a beam of red-black light shot out, enveloping the man on the ground. When the stream ceased, the man was gone.

 

Huh. Well, judging by the opening dialogue, he was just banished, so we'll probably see that later.

 

“Now….to capture those pathetic Spirits…”

 

Godspeed, generic villain with ambiguous motives!

 

…

 

“Run! Get away!” A large, machine-like Duel Spirit was yelling, its many mechanical tentacles flailing.

 

How exactly is it it machine-like, and yet it possesses mechanical tentacles?

 

Maybe it's a Doctor Octopus android!

 

That's stupid. However, I'm sure it would still be better than this.

 

“Run, Fool run! Get to the portal! Find the professor!”

 

"Fool"? I'll assume that that's just the persons title, but it seems like we have more plot. I'm guessing the professor is the guy that got banished earlier.

 

A clownish spirit leapt into the air, and flew off, looking back over its shoulder with a pained look on its face.

 

"Machine-like"? "Clownish"? You keep using those words. I do not think they mean what they think you mean.

 

I will save you, my brethren. I may only be a Fool, but I will find hero’s to save you.

 

"I will find hero is to save you."

 

The plot isn't really interesting so far. Let's go to chapter one!

 

Far far away, something was buzzing, a irritating drone that got louder with each attempt to rise the boy lying in bed deep asleep. Or at least he had been until that noise started drilling its way into his dreams. A swat of the arm was enough to end the alarm and allow him back to his peaceful slumber.

 

What did I just read? At least you're using more descriptions, but the metaphors you use as descriptions are just silly.

 

Half an hour later, and the boy had struggled to drift back off. Regretfully abandoning the idea, Julian sluggishly hauled himself out of bed with a rub of the eyes, blearily looking across the chaos that was his bedroom.

 

Is this really going to be a consistent problem?

 

His eyes happened to catch the clock lying on the floor by his feet, staring up at him with 8:30 on its face. Julian stared back for a few seconds, trying to remember why that time seemed vaguely familiar...

 

Oh please don't tell me that-

 

"Aw no I overslept!"

 

No. You are not doing this. The cliché of "I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date!" is overdone, and this is just stupid. Julian was aware of what time he had to be ready, and there was even an alarm clock set to wake him up in time. However, despite the fact he must have known that, he turns off the alarm clock anyway in an attempt to go back to sleep. Instead, Dworkin decided to settled for one of the most convoluted and yet contrived ways to use a cliché that was dead as soon as Ash Ketchum began his Pokémon journey.

 

Sudden panic was enough to fully wake him,

 

But apparently a very loud alarm clock isn't.

 

as Julian scrambled into his clothes as fast as he could, putting on his jeans the wrong way in his haste (and considering for a fleeting moment that there was no time to even correct himself, before admitting turning up late was probably better than turning up looking like that) before grabbing his deck from his bedside and sprinting downstairs past the rather startled looking woman getting ready for work.

 

If I'm already running late, then I think it wouldn't be too much of a hassle to fix how I'm wearing my pants. I would also at least take a shower.

 

"Julian, there's toast out for you."

 

That's your reaction to your son running in a hurry? Were you not informed that he had to be somewhere?

 

"Sorry mom, no time see ya later" was the response. Bursting through the front door into the blazing light outside, Julian leapt the gate and hurtled down the street. Of all the days to oversleep, not today. For today was the local Duel Monsters tournament, held at the card shop in town, and if he had half an hour to get there.

 

Of course, it's a card game tournament. The only way this could be even more stupid if all the spots are full and yet Julian manages to get into the tournament anyway.

 

At exactly 8:57AM, Julian was leaning doubled over against the front window of the card shop. "Just... about... made it!" he wheezed under his breath, before going inside...

 

The store clerk stood at a crude podium in the middle of a crowd of kids. “Everyone, I assume you know why you’re here. For the tournament!” The clerks attempt at a joke was met with a stony silence. “Okay…..uhhh…well, if you check the listings, you will find a number next to your name. Please have a seat while you wait. We will call out the numbers, and when your number is called, please step up.”

 

So Julian already took the initiative to reserve a spot. Things seems to be getting better.

 

Julian’s number was 14. Looking at the list of competitors, he saw that there were 15 other people in the competition. Yikes. I’m gonna be hard-pressed to win this. Glancing at some of the new products, Julian groaned. Why do these always have to be so damn expensive! $10 bucks for a three-pack of cards….geez.

 

Packs usually cost at least $3.99, so buying a three-pack should have been at least twelve dollars. He's actually claiming that a sale is expensive? It's also only ten dollars, which really isn't that much.

 

People started to settle down, the participants sitting on benches, the spectators on the ground. The card shop had decided to hold the tournament outside, seeing as the shop itself was too small to fit all the people who came. The clerk announced for the first two duelists to step up, calling Julian and some girl, around 13 years old, with fiery red hair tied in a ponytail.

 

I sense love interest.

 

[align=center] “DUEL!” [/align]

 

Because having both characters say the same line means that it has to be centered.

 

Anyone who wants to read the full duel can just read the fic, so let's just skip it.

 

Actually, let's just skip through the first half, because the duel is passable until the second half.

 

“AAARGH!” Julian exclaimed as he took the hit. (LP: 200) “Draw!” Julian let out a sigh of relief as he looked at the card he just drew. “Ok, you showed your best. Now I show mine. I activate Black Illusion Ritual! I send the Glow-Up Bulb from my hand to the graveyard to ritual summon Relinquished!” A strange blue-silver creature, with a conical bottom and a long neck, on the end of which was one eye, showed up in front of Julian. (ATK: 0)

 

I don't see what's wrong.

 

“Zero attack?!?! There’s no way that little runt can take on Dark Paladin!”

 

Wait, does she not know Relinquished's effect? She has Dark Paladin! She should at least know about a card as old as Relinquished and what it does!

 

“Wanna bet? I activate Relinquished’s special ability! I can select one monster you control and equip it to Relinquished! Guess who I’m choosing?” Relinquished went over to the Dark Paladin and absorbed it, gaining its strength. “Relinquished gains ATK equal to the equipped monsters ATK!” (ATK: 2900) “Attack her Dark Magician Girl!” Julian then ended his turn.

 

(Julian) FR: Relinquished (DP) BR: - Hand: 0 LP: 200

 

(Hannah) FR: - BR: 1 facedown Hand: 0 LP: 3100

 

Do you always have to remind us about their stats? Can't you just let us figure it out for ourselves.

 

“Draw.” Hannah looked at the only card in her hand, and her face fell a bit. Then she shrugged. “Alright, I summon Time Wizard!” A clock with eyes, arms, and legs dropped in front of Hannah. It looked a bit like a jester with a rod (ATK: 500). “Then I use his effect! I toss a coin, and call it. If I call it right, all your monsters are destroyed. If I call it wrong…all my monsters are destroyed and I take damage equal to half their attack. I call heads!” The coin spun, spun, and spun and landed. On heads. “YEEES! Goodbye Relinquished! Then Time Wizard will attack you directly!” (LP: 0).

 

Julian fell to his knees as his Life Points sunk to zero.

 

Huh, so Julian lost his first duel. That's actually somewhat surprising.

 

HAHAHAHAHA HE GOT BEATEN BY TIME WIZARD. Sure, Mai Valentine lost to Time Wizard, but at least that was Thousand Dragon beating her Harpies. Here he lost to a direct attack from Time Wizard.

 

I'm so glad that his rushed awakening was all for naught.

 

The crowd of people watching cheered for Hannah. She walked over to Julian and offered her hand. He took it, and Hannah helped him up.

 

“Thanks,” Julian said. “You’re great, what deck is that?”

 

“It's based on Dark Magician, but the ace is Dark Paladin.” No way am I telling him about my REAL ace.

 

Wait, why did we suddenly hear Hannah's thoughts?

 

Obviously Hannah is the real main character. I'm not sure if that's much of an improvement, if at all.

 

“Cool. Bet you can tell what mine is.”

 

“Rituals. Duh. Frankly, I expected Herald or Gishki.”

 

Wait, Gishkis exist in this story? Why doesn't Julian use them?

 

“Nope. Those are too expensive. I use old-class rituals. Relinquished is the ace of course.”

 

Seriously? He really can't save up money or ask his parents to buy cards? Instead, he ops to use a weak deck? There seriously nothing else he could use?

 

Hey, come on, the story is supposed to be realistic.

 

Perhaps, but keep in mind that Julian is currently on par with Yuma as a weak protagonist. True, it establishes that he's a loser and thus his inevitable victory will be more triumphant, but right now all we've seen of Julian is that he is irresponsible and thinks that a mere ten dollars is expensive. Truly he must think that anyone who owns a television is a trillionaire.

 

…

 

Julian watched the next 7 duels intently. He noted many different decks, but not surprisingly, he and Hannah were the best duelists there.

 

Except there are duelists who actually managed to win their duels. The same can not be said for you, and other duels could have lasted longer than you. How could you possibly conclude that you are the only good duelist present besides Hannah? If he watched the following duels with a critical eye, did his analysis honestly result in "Yes, the crappy Ritual deck I got because I'm a pennypincher will easily defeat all of their decks"?

 

“Alright, here we are on the next round! First, we have numbers 13 and 4!” Two children stepped up, and started to duel. Their decks seemed to be chock-full of normal monsters, and Julian wondered how on earth they made it to the finals.

 

Huh, so that's why Julian is the second-best duelist there: Everyone else is just horrible at building a deck.

 

After their duel, Julian wandered around for a bit, and saw the winner getting bullied by some other kid. The winner, Fred, had gotten knocked down by the other boy, who had taken his deck and Duel Disk and run off. Julian ran over to Fred, who was laying on the ground sobbing.

 

“C-c-can you get my deck back mister? That jerk Jose took my deck and Disk from me!” Fred asked shakily.

 

How old is Julian, actually? Hannah is described as a teenager, and Fred addressed Julian as "mister", which really doesn't seem too common a thing to call someone who I assume is sixteen.

 

“Yeah sure. That little brat isn’t gonna get away with this…..”

 

Julian took Fred to the ref and explained what happened.

 

“But….we should catch this kid. He can’t get away with stealing.” The ref said.

 

 

Say, wasn't the plot supposed to be about some evil shadowy force banishing some guy, and a couple duel spirits trying to save some important professor who may or may not be the banished guy? What happened to that?

 

Quiet, Ryu. You are making too much sense, and that worries me.

 

“Oh he won’t. Just let me take this kids place, and I’ll punish him.”

 

“Hmm…….alright. Fine. If he wants you too…..” the ref looked at Fred, who nodded vigorously. “OK. Kid, you can take his number, 4, and take his place.”

 

Well, this story has officially surpassed Path of Anarchy in regards to how idiotically contrived the main character has to get what he wants. The tournament has so far proceeded as follows: Hannah and seven nameless duelist all won their respective duels, leaving eight duelists left, and thus four more duels. Fred is then bullied, either by some random kid, who the narration doesn't establish as being either of Fred's previous opponents. With Fred out of the tournament, there are three other duels. I would presume that the tournament would then allow those matches to proceed as plan, and in the semi-finals, two duelists would duel for a spot in the finals, while the remaining duelist is given victory by default due to Fred's inability to compete any further, and thus that duelist would proceed to the finals. Instead, because Ryu has to participate, he is inexplicably given the opportunity to substitute for another participant in a tournament that he already lost. I could not begin to care how tournaments like these should work in situations like this, but to summarize: This is stupid.

 

Julian got back to his bench in time to see Hannah start her next duel.

 

[align=center] “Let’s Duel!”[align]

 

“Draw!” shouted Hannah’s opponent, a rather tall boy with brown hair. “I summon Ancient Gear Soldier in attack.” A metal soldier with its gears showing, and looking a little rusty appeared in front of him. “Then I equip it with Ancient Gear Tank. That increases its ATK by 600. (ATK: 1900). Then I’m done. Oh, and my name is Atticus.”

 

The character is named Atticus and uses Ancient Gears? That doesn't remind me of anything.

 

“Hi Atticus, I’m Hannah. I’m here to kick your butt. Draw!”

 

Hannah wins for that one-liner.

 

A shame that it was a stupid one-liner. Anyway, we're going to skip a bit more of the duel now.

 

“Yikes. Draw.” Atticus broke into a smile as he saw his draw. “I activate my Field Magic, Geartown!” Their surroundings turned into a small town, with houses made out of metal and gears. “Now I play Mystical Space Typhoon, and destroy Geartown.”

 

Why the hell would he kill his own field spell? Hannah thought. It’s insane.

 

You know what Gishkis are. If you're up-to-date on the card game, then shouldn't you now that when your opponents are seemingly doing an incredibly stupid move, it's actually because they're doing a combo that will screw you over?

 

“Now…I use Geartowns special ability. When it’s destroyed, I get to Special Summon one Ancient Gear monster from my deck.”

 

Oh! That makes sense!

 

Congratulations, Hannah, you understood his play. Have a gold star.

 

“I choose one of my best monsters, the Ancient Gear Gadjiltron Dragon!” A mechanical dragon descended from the sky, make completely out of rusty gears. Even though it was rather rusted, it looked extremely powerful. It let out a roar that seemed to rumble the earth. (ATK: 3000).

 

No way. No way! To summon something so powerful that easily….and worse, I can’t activate my Spell and Trap cards when it attacks….crap.

 

So she knows that Gadjitron Dragon's has the standard Ancient Gear negation effect... but she still needed to have Geartown's effect explained to her. Does anyone else see the problem here?

 

Well, Gadjitron Dragon was released before Geartown, so that might explain why she didn't know that.

 

Except she's aware that Gishki are one of, if not the best Ritual decks. Face it, the consistency between Hannah's skill as a duelist are nonexistent.

 

“Now, Gadjiltron Dragon, attack her Dark Magician!” The dragon flew at the purple-clad wizard, and destroyed him (LP: 2900). “Now I play a card face-down and end my turn.”

 

Hannah drew, and prayed for something good. “I play Dark Magic Curtain! That allows me to pay half my Life Points and Special Summon a Dark Magician from my deck!” She shook slightly as her Life Points depleted, but then a second purple-garbed wizard was in front of her. (LP: 1450)

 

This always baffled me. Why do you duelists act as though you are in pain when you pay Life Points? I can understand when the Shadow Games are involved, but otherwise it shouldn't shock you or something like that.

 

It's for drama, of course!

 

In any case, the duel continues onward, so let's skip further ahead.

 

“Urrrgh….Draw…..” Hannah stared at the card she drew, a look of disbelief on her face. It won me my last match….. “I summon the Time Wizard!!!! Then I use his effect.” The ref tossed a coin, and she called heads. It spun, spun, and spun. It landed……..on tails. “NO!” Hannah shouted, as her monsters were destroyed. (LP: 0)

 

Time Wizard again? That's just hilarious.

 

“And Atticus is the winner!” The ref shouted, as Atticus punched his fist in the air.

 

“Good game.” He said to Hannah. “I’d like to duel you again sometime.” Walking off towards his bench, Atticus left Hannah to stumble back to Julian.

 

“Yeesh. How the heck did I not notice that?” Julian said, quite confused.

 

“How did YOU not notice???” Hannah muttered. “Humph.”

 

Staring at Hannah with an exasperated look, Julian shrugged and prepped his deck for the next round. He quickly ran inside, and with his allowance, purchased a few packs that gave him just the cards he needed. Perfect. These little suckers will stop that thief’s deck outright.

 

Wait a minute, so if Julian was moaning about how expensive the card packs were, why didn't he just buy cards just before fighting Hannah? If he's now suddenly getting a lot more time to edit his deck, why not do it before.

 

Because that was yet another drawback of the contrived "I'm late!" opening. Fortunately, we have finally reached end of this dreadful story. The opening plot is forgotten as soon as it is presented, the characters are complete morons who give us little reason to care about them, with Fred serving as the most sympathetic character because he doesn't have bursts of paradoxical idiocy. The story does nothing to make me feel inclined to see more of this story aside from hoping that the prologue, in its eight lines of irrelevance, actually serves a purpose later. There is a second chapter up, but a quick glimpse reveals that it just another chapter consisting entirely of duels.

 

Hey, that's not nice! Listen, Dworkin, keep up the work, but keep in mind that you really need to fix the story. I'll stop by and see how things develop, so don't be discouraged!

 

How comforting. In any case, you exceed my low expectations.

 

Thanks! I think?

 

Alas, I must take my leave. I will let you know when I need your assistance once more.

 

Say, Votek, what can you tell me about this great evil you mentioned? How do you plan to stop it?

 

He is allowing reality to be used as plaything. Suffice it to say, that is something I seek to put an end to. You will meet our allies soon. The Echoes are the key to our victory. Farewell for now, Ryu Ryōshi.

 

 

So it's 2012 already, isn't it? Roxas, don't think you can beat me at my own game. I know more about you than you do, and what you can do. You know that end of the world that is supposed to come to pass just before the end of the year? Please. I am the Voice of the Empty King for a reason.

 

Edited January 30, 2012 by Phantom Roxas

[Alice Moonflowyr]

Oh, just curious, why was Atticus supposed to remind you of someone?

[Phantom Roxas]

I was referring to Yu-Gi-Oh! GX, because that was Fubuki's dub name. The fact that he used Ancient Gears was another reminder of GX.

Edited February 10, 2012 by Phantom Roxas

[Alice Moonflowyr]

OHhhh. See, I dont know any of that. I just like the name Atticus, and I like AG's.

[Sleepy]

I'm somewhat late to the party but, interesting review. I enjoyed reading it a lot.

 

Another thing to point out, Hanna could not Summon Time Wizard that second time if she activated the Curtain to bring out Dark Magician that same turn.

[Phantom Roxas]

I pointed out that I skipped further ahead in the duel, so she actually summoned Time Wizard in a later turn.

Edited February 1, 2012 by Phantom Roxas

[Agro]

Hey Roxas, are you still even doing these?

 

I'm writing a one-shot and I thought it'd be cool if you divinated it.

[Phantom Roxas]

Yes, I'm still doing these. When you post your one-shot, I'll check it out.

[Agro]

[spoiler=So, yeah. Here it is.]http://forum.yugiohcardmaker.net/topic/275167-aggros-one-shot-when-its-over/page__pid__5795025#entry5795025

 

 

Hope you can use it for some sort of entertainment purposes, especially since I haven't seen a Divination in a few months. you may want me to tell you the secret to the story after you read it, since I'm sure that basic fact could definitely help if you want to crack a few jokes off.

[Alice Moonflowyr]

I dun suppose I can be lucky enough to get a divination for another? XD

If ur still doing these, and willing to give me another chance, check this out. http://forum.yugiohcardmaker.net/topic/276535-the-topic-with-two-fics-hero-towerspg-13chap-2life-at-masters-dragon-schoolpg-13-15chap-1/page__fromsearch__1

[Phantom Roxas]

Two stories, eh? Sure, I'll save them for later, but don't expect them for the next review.

[Alice Moonflowyr]

I figured.

[Phantom Roxas]

THE RETURN.

 

[spoiler=23 is Number 1!]W-...where am I?

 

Roxas! Oh thank goodness, you're awake! I...I never thought you would wake up!

 

Awake? How long was I out?

 

*Sniff* Um...

 

HOW LONG, JEN?

 

...Nine months.

 

NINE MONTHS? So... it's October now? Where's Blake? Just... what happened?

 

Well, see, we went to go find Brandon, and he had his Haunter-

 

I thought he had a Gastly.

 

It evolved. Anyway, his Haunter used Hypnosis, and you've been asleep ever sense.

 

FOR NINE MONTHS?

 

I guess Brandon felt bad for what he did, and he just ran off. Blake went after him, but he hasn't returned his calls.

 

Wait a minute, how did we even get to talk with Brandon?

 

Beats me.

 

...Any news on Votek?

 

Well, no. He hasn't done anything since you fell asleep.

 

I see. Maybe it's time I get him to finally do something.

 

What are you doing to do?

 

The same thing we do every night, Jen. READ TERRIBLE FANFICTION.

 

Well, I don't have anything terrible, but Agro posted a Digimon fanfic.

 

Digimon? Sweet. I can't believe we haven't reviewed any Digimon stories before.

 

Here it is, Digimon Knights of the Sun.

 

Okay, let's begin.

 

From the times of old a legend once sprung,

Of Heroes, sent by the great Amatarumon,

 

What is this?

 

A poem.

 

...I'll wait to see what the rhyme scheme is, but "sprung" and "Amatarumon" hardly rhyme. Anyway, I'll commend the name "Amatarumon" if it means Agro is going to make up his own Digimon.

 

When the guardians of the land began a long slumber,

Arisen from their shadows, still four strong in number,

Were the Demon Kings, copies, of the sleeping guardians,

Whom cast waves of Silence, Decay, Deceit, Confusion.

 

Okay, so the rhyme scheme is "AABB". So the first stanza definitely does not fit it.

 

Well, I like that he mentioned the Demon Kings. It sets up the main antagonists of the story right off the bat.

 

Even though they sound like ripoffs of the Seven Great Demon Lords, although their attributes strike me as a poor attempt to emulate the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

 

Oh lighten up, will you?

 

NEVER!

 

So from another world, these heroes did appear,

Though the demons thought them only children, nothing they needed to fear,

 

Wait, is this the prologue, or is this about the past?

 

Well, he called this poem a preview, so...

 

That's like giving a preview for Bionicle and saying "In the time before time, there were robots, but this one dude just would not die, although apparently all you need to do to get rid of him is to push him into a falling sphere."

 

But with the powers of light, of the sun and of the moon,

And of great Susanoomon,

 

Ooh, Susanoomon either will or did play an important role in this story. Kudos.

 

with the strength of a typhoon.

 

WITH ALL THE FORCE OF A RAGING FIRE~

 

You both got the lyrics mixed up.

 

These heroes, small in stature, but very strong in heart,

Put all their effort into defeating the demons from the start.

 

And although we do not know yet how their story will unfold,

We do know what's at stake, young humans: The Digital World.

 

Well, you pretty much just spoiled the plot, so I don't see what will surprise us.

 

Um, doesn't almost every good versus evil story pretty much come with the expectation that the heroes will win.

 

If he wanted to surprise us with Susanoomon, then he could do that in the story. I get that it's not a prologue, but really, there's exposition, and then there's telling us exactly what we are about to read.

 

Ground. Dirt. That’s what he could feel underneath his hands, and smudging against his face. It was cool, and wet. Nothing like the dry sod he was used to. It was unusual, unnatural in this part of the country. Why was it so wet?

 

He reached up, his hand trying to find a spot to push himself up. Slowly, it came into contact with something; felt like wood. His bedpost? Surely, but, it was soggy, and… not like he remembered. More like an actual branch than a refined two-by-four.

 

As he used it to lift himself up, he opened his eyes, looking down at his support beam, seeing a dark brown, moss covered branch stretching across the bare ground. Wait… actual wood? Why was he sleeping outside?

 

I like this. Good way to start the story, and makes us understand our hero's confusion.

 

“Where the hell am I?”

 

Consider what I've been through apparently, I sympathize with this guy.

 

His thought was interrupted as the branch snapped beneath his weight and he came crashing down back to the ground.

 

“Ow.” He rubbed his forehead, rolling over and sitting up, looking at the piece of wood that was left in his clutches. Even without him putting much force on it, it was breaking apart. A dead branch, decaying in his hand.

 

Deciding to better figure out his surroundings in such unusual circumstances, he stood up, dropping the dead piece of wood to break apart in the wind. “Tahiro, what did you get yourself into?”

 

Okay, his name has a "Ta" sound to it, which is a nice way to keep consistent with a hero's name in Digimon, and I already like him more than Tagiru, although that is admittedly not very hard.

 

Through five years of summer camping experience, Tahiro had picked up a few survival skills,- though none that could really equip him to being dropped in the woods with no idea how he got there or how to get back. He’d been lucky enough to wake up in a rather high point in the area.

 

I find it weird that despite spending a long time in summer camp, he doesn't know what to do. Then again, I assume none of that would include training you for this exact situation, so I'll let it slide.

 

The mention of summer camp is a nice nod to the original series too.

 

Actually, come to think of it, why is this series starting with him in the Digital World? Why not show how he got here?

 

Oh Roxas, that would just waste time. Clearly Agro wants to get to the action right away, and Tahiro's confusion allows us to see this story through his eyes.

 

The terrain in front of him was varied, ranging from patches of plains, bare soil and, further into the distance, rows and rows of trees that encircled the rest, coming up right behind where he stood. Past that, and at an extremely far distance at that, were foothills leading to a steep mountain range.

 

But there was a surreal difference, he could tell, from this area and that of the forests near his home in Fukushima. The nearest National Park to his home was Oze, and while there were certainly similarities- such as the open spaces and mountains- this was nothing like that.

 

Once again, finer details like this are clever. Referencing real life Japanese locales helps make your story feel authentic.

 

You mean if the only Japanese thing he did was Tahiro's name, one could basically take that as enough to think, "Yep, this is totally based on an anime"?

 

Exactly.

 

Worst of all, though, was the smell. He knew that smell. It was the same smell he’d experienced when he was six and tried to keep a stockpile of fruits in his closet in case of an alien attack.

 

That smelly smell that sounds... smelly.

 

Just like the branch that must have fallen from the tree line behind him and rolled down the hillside, everything reeked of decay.

 

So all this led to the question: Where was he and how did he get here?

 

Tahiro wandered down the hill, away from the tree line, to get a different perspective of his surroundings. As he did so, he took a misstep and stumbled down, coming to a sharp stop at the bottom when he landed into a patch of barren ground that was damp enough to soften the impact.

 

“Aw, man. This is my favorite shirt!” Tahiro grumbled as he pulled himself up, finally realizing how filthy rolling around in the mud for the past few minutes had actually made him.

 

Dazed, but remembering the lake to his left, he headed out in that direction.

 

After a minute of walking, and having to continuously slow to work his way through the patches of tall grass that remained in some areas, he reached the bank of the lake.

 

Surprisingly, unlike the rest of the land around him, the water seemed very clear. The mud from the shoreline did seem to seep into the lake, but it dissipated quickly further in.

 

While finding this strange, Tahiro, nevertheless, elected to leap into the clear waters, worrying more about getting clean than dangers that were not immediately apparent.

 

Wouldn't his survival training had covered when you encounter a lake?

 

He acknowledged that it was strange, so it shows cunning on Tahiro's part.

 

The water was cool, and not in the way the dirt and mud on the shore had been. It was a refreshing feeling, and more importantly a clean feeling, as if he could feel the grime and muck getting washed away.

 

Stomping his feet down, he figured out it was shallow enough to stand with the water only coming up to his stomach.

 

Realizing he’d need to clean his clothes as well, he pulled of his shirt and soaked it in the water, removing the dirt much faster and more effectively than he had expected.

 

What does his shirt look like? For that matter, how does Tahiro himself look like.

 

I don't know, I'm just imagining Tahiro without his shirt off.

 

I'm going to try and think that he looks nothing like Tagiru.

 

Confused as to the amazing cleansing properties of this water, he waded back towards shore and looked down at his pants to check if they needed to be cleaned as well. Apparently not. Even without brushing them off, the water had cleaned away all the grime.

 

Clearly he is a son of Poseidon. As such, I shall picture Tahiro as a Japanese Percy Jackson.

 

“Weird.” His incredulity over the effective cleaning power of the water was soon overshadowed when he noticed, out of the corner of his eye, a rocky outcropping on the shoreline- hopefully a good place to dry his clothes without dirtying them all over again.

 

"Digimon: Knights of the Sun!" Thrill as a young man finds himself in a strange world and cleans his clothes in a mysterious lake!

 

You know, I said that it seemed like this story was going to get into the action right away, but... Tahiro is the only character we've seen so far, and we really don't know much about him beyond the fact that he went to summer camp a few times and that he likes his shirt.

 

He moved quickly out of the lake and down the shoreline, ignoring the ripples in the water that were not of his creation, and a great large set of eyes quickly descended back into the deeper parts of the water, the focus of its attention now out of its reach.

 

I... what? If he was unaware of them, but that's one thing, but outright ignoring something like that?

 

You know, I guess if there was one thing I didn't miss while you were asleep, it would be your nitpicking.

 

The rocks stood high above the ground, and while much of it was covered in moss, the majority of it was dry- something Tahiro made use of as he laid out his shirt and shorts to dry.

 

He sighed, “Guess I better figure out at least which way is which.”

 

Remembering something his old man had once told him, he looked for a larger rock that was smooth and flat on three sides. If there was moss on a higher point of it, and that side was on the other side of the sun, then that was North… or South… Yeah, how that worked was never really explained to him. Either way, he had to look up at the sun.

 

And what would have been just a glance turned into a stare of panic.

 

“What’s going on?” The light from above was not cast by a sun. No, in fact, there were two balls of light hanging in the midday sky. Two suns. “I’m not on Earth right now… am I?”

 

I guess that's one advancement in the plot: We know that he's not on Earth.

 

Stumbling back, he tripped and landed on his ass

 

How crude.

 

stared around at this now dangerous looking environment. He had no idea where he was or what he was doing here. He couldn’t even trust the most basic of physical attributes he’d known his whole life.

 

I actually kind of like how this is a look at reacting to something you don't know.

 

In all his confusion and panic, a sound had slowly grown in volume in the field. Footsteps, or at least the crunching of dead leaves below them. Only now had Tahiro noticed it. And there was something else… voices?

 

*Gasp* Other character? Hurray!

 

Aliens was the first thought in his mind. What else could they be? He was definitely on another planet. That fact was for sure. I mean, why would humans be out here? Well, yeah, he was out here, so maybe there’d be others but there was no way…

 

“Are you sure it was around here?”

 

Were they speaking English? He’d studied the language in school, and his brother would often speak it at home. Why was he hearing it here?

 

“Yeah, this is the spot. Snimon told us to investigate immediately.”

 

Snimon, eh? If that's meant to be a reference to how Kuwagamon was the first enemy the heroes fought in Adventure, then more props to you. If not, then it's still a good way to help get the reads interested in more of the story.

 

It was definitely English. Does that mean they were human? Snimon wasn’t a Japanese name, and didn’t sound like any name he’d ever heard in American movies or world news. What was going on?

 

Well obviously Snimon is Italian.

 

“Why is he so worried about this? It’s probably just another silly electrical disturbance. Is there something he knows that we don’t?”

 

He still couldn’t see the owners of the voices

 

“I don’t know. Rumors were something like this happened in the Northern mountains before everything happened there. Snimon probably just doesn’t want to be responsible if something happens to Hokakamon like what happened to Bishomon.”

 

Huh, more names for more original Digimon, although at this point I just want to know who these two are supposed to be.

 

Tahiro tried to think past the names, which obviously at this point were making less and less sense.

 

If only there was a recurring theme between the names!

 

At least he now knew which direction was which. The mountains were North.

 

“Please, do they really think a human could have come here of all places? That’s ridiculous.”

 

So they were looking for a human?

 

Tahiro shifted in his spot, crouched below the line in the grass, trying to get a better view of the owners of the voices.

 

If they were talking about humans in the third person, then they must not be human. They had to be…

 

Tahiro would have yelped at the sight of the creatures if he didn’t cover his mouth with his hand. They were giant roaches, with hideous faces that definitely resembled a human face. They were just disgusting, four arms and everything.

 

Hey, that's racist!

 

I totally believe Roachmon as servants. In terms of not annoying me like Xros Wars did with handling existing characters, so far this is avoiding it. Then again, we're not even done with the first chapter, so that could change really soon.

 

Do you hate Xros Wars?

 

Oh no, I liked Xros Wars. It's just that there is a lot about it that's pretty bad, namely the fact that it managed to introduce the worst antagonist in the first part and the worst main character in the awful post-script season.

 

What about Kurata and Davis?

 

Bagramon. Tagiru. Your argument is invalid.

 

He was lucky he’d hushed himself, and his reaction was faster than he’d expected. Though… his hand did feel weird. More importantly, when did he grow a third hand? Oh, god.

 

Tahiro looked down at the “hand” keeping his mouth shut and saw a yellow vine instead. Shifting back, he looked behind himself to see a very large yellow plant staring back at him with shifty red eyes. A large mouth hanging open in an ugly smile, teeth, white and large, dripping with saliva.

 

Ew, I hope that's not his partner.

 

On the one hand, I share the sentiment. Then again, I would absolutely love to see a break from the overuse of dragons.

 

Tahiro screamed, or he tried. It was muffled up by the plant’s vines.

 

The plant wrapped its arms around him, shaking him, and closing its mouth in agitation.

 

Well, this is based on a Japanese franchise, so I think I know where this is going.

 

Tahiro looked down to see a smaller creature crawl up beside it. This new one was round, looked a lot like a tadpole. Green, with an orange fin atop its body and blue stripes running parallel to it. It’s fangs hung underneath its closed mouth and, he felt, it looked a little hungry.

 

Betamon? D'aww, I really hope that's his partner!

 

...Damn it, I thought there would be no overlap.

 

What?

 

Moving on.

 

But its actions seemed to counter that, as it lifted up one of its four fins and raised it to its mouth, making the human motion for silence. Nonetheless, Tahiro tried to struggle, but his efforts were in vain as the oversized vegetable tightened its grip around him.

 

“What was that?” The voices from the roaches floated over the tall grass, making the two other creatures shift uneasily. “Who’s there?”

 

Tahiro looked back at the roaches, and while scared, he was slowly beginning to realize he had more to fear from them than any other creature present.

 

“Let’s check it out.”

 

The roaches started inching forward, carefully moving through the underbrush searching for what they thought they had heard.

 

I would have phrased it "they creeped silently through the underbrush" just to see how many people would catch the reference.

 

I don't.

 

You don't count.

 

Tahiro looked back at the other two creatures, looking for help from others that looked almost as uneasy as he did. Looking past them, however, he saw something else. Something moved in the lake, causing a ripple to travel across the otherwise calm waters.

 

Tahiro motioned to the waters, trying to let them know something was there, and it was moving. He could see the top of a yellow head rise partially above the water, slowly weaving towards them.

 

The yellow plant was certainly not helping, instead of noting his worry, it wrapped its vines around his arms, holding him down. Looking to the smaller amphibian for help, and glancing at the water, the little thing looked back and nodded, hopefully trying to be reassuring.

 

“Do you see anything?” One roach asked the other.

 

“Nothing yet.”

 

And at least one of them won't fly to get a better view because...?

 

What makes you think that they can fly?

 

Ignoring the fact that Roachmon have flown in previous seasons, the fact that they're roaches would imply that they could fly.

 

The creature in the water moved closer and closer, and as it did, Tahiro could feel the plant’s grip on his mouth loosen, and when it finally let him open his mouth, he instinctively gasped.

 

“What was that?”

 

Just as the roach was about to stumble upon them, the creature in the water arose, and boy was it massive.

 

A giant sea serpent, turquoise in color, emerged from the water, rising tall above even the trees of the surrounding forest. It’s yellow head opened as it let out a roar, causing the roaches to stumble away from Tahiro’s hiding spot.

 

“Roachmon. What are you two doing encroaching on my lake?”

 

The roaches quickly regained their composure in the face of the giant sea serpent. “You’re lake, Seadramon? This part of the forest is under Snimon’s control! You lost ownership long ago!”

 

Are you so sure about that, Roachmon? I think LandLordmon will be the judge of that.

 

“Maybe so, but if I remember, I am allowed direct control in his stead.” Seadramon lowered his head down in front of the Roachmon, demonstrating the differences in their size. “Is Snimon here to tell me otherwise?”

 

I never thought Seadramon would ever be my favorite character in a Digimon story.

 

The Roachmon quivered in fear, slowly backing away from the Seadramon.

 

Tahiro felt a nudge in his side and looked down to see the amphibian creature motioning for him to move with them down the shore away from the scene. Tahiro, contemplating whether or not this was the best idea, took one last glance at the intimidating Seadramon before making his decision.

 

“We’ll be back, Seadramon!” “Yeah! We’ll be back!” The Roachmon yelled as they fled the scene.

 

Seadramon let out a mighty roar, causing the pair to fly far faster than they had been previously.

 

See? Told you they can fly.

 

“This way!” The little amphibian motioned to Tahiro.

 

The pair had led him away from the lake, and after passing through row after row of similarly looking trees, they had arrived at a large oak that stood on the edge of a cliff.

 

Its branches were broken or lacking of leaves. In fact, the highest parts of the trees looked like they broke off long ago, and the remains of those branches lay decaying on the ground below.

 

“You can talk?” Tahiro admitted that while he’d seen the Roachmon and Seadramon speak, and while the little guy had made motions just like humans had, he hadn’t really expected the amphibian to actually speak.

 

“Of course I can! All Digimon can talk!”

 

“Digimon…?” The word didn’t ring any bells.

 

“Huh? You don’t know?” The little guy looked over at his veggie buddy before looking back at Tahiro. “I’m sorry, I guess I just assumed you’d know.”

 

Since humans were mentioned earlier, I'm curious how they're familiar with humans, so I guess it makes sense that Betamon would assume what he did.

 

Rid of the roaches, Seadramon twisted his body around and dove back into the depths of the lake.[/i]

 

“Know what?”

 

“Where you are.”

 

“And… were exactly am I… um, what’s your name?”

 

“Betamon! And this here,” Betamon motioned to his friend, “Is Veggiemon.”

 

The plant creature waved one of its tendrils in the air like a human would wave.

 

“And this place you’re in. This place you’ve fallen into. This is the Digital World.”

 

“The Digital World?”

 

“Yup! Ever heard of it?”

 

Tahiro put his hand on his chin, running the word through his mind.

 

Betamon looked enthusiastically up at him, expecting the connection to light up in his mind at any second. “And?”

 

“No clue.”

 

Is Tahiro now talking in English? He noticed that the Roachmon were talking in English, so I assume that Betamon does as well. At least it was pointed out that Tahiro studied it.

 

I'm more curious as to why Veggiemon.

 

The same reason Digimon has characters like Betsumon.

 

I don't know who that is.

 

Good.

 

Betaman slouched as Tahiro answered. “Well I guess if you don’t know, we’ll have to explain everything!”

 

Exposition time?

 

Exposition time.

 

Prepare your bodies!

 

Betamon looked at Veggiemon.

 

“So… can we explain everything?”

 

Veggiemon shrugged.

 

“Oh… so, um…” Betamon walked over to the roots of the tree and poked around until he found a hole in the roots. With a quick peck, the roots moved, by themselves, opening a secret pathway underneath the tree. “Since we can’t explain what’s going on, we’ll have to bring you to someone who can! Follow me!”

 

Without another word, Betamon jumped into the hole, and Veggiemon quickly followed.

 

Tahiro stepped over to the entrance and looked down. It fell into the ground a few meters before turning forward and out of sight.

 

“Are you coming?” Betamon called back up from somewhere underneath.

 

Tahiro wasn’t exactly sure if he wanted to follow. In fact, he was debating on whether or not turning tail and running would be the better option.

 

Yes, run in the direction the Roachmon went, I'm sure that will help.

 

Oh, but they're probably long gone by now. Besides, he's still uncertain about this area.

 

But as he looked back at the forest, whose trees seemed to grow closer the longer he stared at them, he realized he’d be lost without their help.

 

As you should.

 

And so he jumped into the hole behind them, looking back up at the entrance as the roots closed together above him.

 

On the outside of that wall, one unfriendly set of eyes, hidden beneath the cover of a nearby bush, turned away from its attentive watching of the tree, having witnessed the human who escaped beneath it. Its owner’s wings buzzed as it flew in the other direction, intent on passing on the knowledge it had learned.

 

[Youtube]

[/Youtube]

 

The ground in the tunnel was a little slippery. Due to that, the fall turned into a slide that led Tahiro forward, down, around, maybe even back up at some point. Though for such a long slide, he realized as he came to a halt at the bottom that it wasn’t that far of a fall and he’d probably be able to climb back out if he so chose.

 

In other words, the slide is kind of just there.

 

“This way, this way!”

 

Tahiro looked across the cavern he’d slid into to see Betamon jumping up and down on the other side.

 

Light trickled in from the ceiling, allowing him to barely make out his darkened surroundings. The room wasn’t a natural occurring structure,

 

Oh, like you know what "natural" means here.

 

the straight lines and jagged, ninety-degree corners made him sure of that much. From what it looked like, they’d stumbled into some ruins, overgrown and covered by the surrounding forest.

 

Noticing his guides had already started down a tunnel exiting from the opposite end, Tahiro began running to catch up.

 

“Come on, come on! We’re almost there!”

 

Tahiro had to stick close to the wall to help guide himself through the much darker tunnel, using it as his guide and the thick, strong roots that hung from them as a stabilizer to keep his balance. There were two turns in the path, and finally, after a few minutes of walking, he could see light around one corner, with Betamon’s high-pitched voice adding extra guidance.

 

“We’re here! We’re here!”

 

Hurray!

 

Now we can finally get the exposition out of the way.

 

Tahiro looked across the cavern he’d slid into to see Betamon jumping up and down on the other side.

 

Light trickled in from the ceiling, allowing him to barely make out his darkened surroundings. The room wasn’t a natural occurring structure, the straight lines and jagged, ninety-degree corners made him sure of that much. From what it looked like, they’d stumbled into some ruins, overgrown and covered by the surrounding forest.

 

Noticing his guides had already started down a tunnel exiting from the opposite end, Tahiro began running to catch up.

 

“Come on, come on! We’re almost there!”

 

Tahiro had to stick close to the wall to help guide himself through the much darker tunnel, using it as his guide and the thick, strong roots that hung from them as a stabilizer to keep his balance. There were two turns in the path, and finally, after a few minutes of walking, he could see light around one corner, with Betamon’s high-pitched voice adding extra guidance.

 

“We’re here! We’re here!”

 

Even after only a few brief minutes in the dark, Tahiro needed to shield and rub out his eyes to adjust to the bright mid-day sun glaring down on him. Once adjusted, though, the sight he beheld was breathtaking.

 

The ruins he’d just come through was only the beginning, it seemed, as old stone buildings overrun with floral life were scattered across a beautiful canyon landscape. Lush trees stood tall over the buildings, ridding up even the cliff sides and arriving on top, leaning over the canyon giving it a canopy that Tahiro could only assume looked like the rest of the forest from the skies above.

 

“This is amazing!”

 

“Well it’s not the most beautiful place in the Digital World.” Betamon seemed to try to sigh after he said it. “Well maybe it is now, after what Hokakamon has done to the forest.”

 

“Who’s Hokakamon?” Tahiro was beginning to piece together the social make-up of this new and dangerous world. The Roaches had referred to Hokakamon previously, and with Betamon’s mentioning of him, it had become obvious that he must be someone extremely important. Whether that was a good or bad thing was yet to be seen.

 

Betamon pretty much just said "Hokakamon screwed everything up." I would think that was a bad thing.

 

“We’ll have Mistress Lotosmon tell you,” Betamon chirped as he trodded along on all fours. “She’s the best at explaining things. She should be able to answer every question you have!”

 

Considering Lotosmon's appearance, could you say she is... and Exposition Fairy?

 

Roxas, you're going to the Boo Box after this.

 

“That’s good. I think.” Tahiro was sure there’d be at least something she wouldn’t be the one to tell him. “Who is Lotosmon, by the way?”

 

“She’s the guardian of the forest! Or at least our part of the forest. Sad to say, the real guardian has been absent for a while, but I’m sure Mistress Lotosmon will fill you in on that.”

 

I like the way you've been building the backstory of this world.

 

Except the majority of Betamon's dialogue has been about giving Tahiro exposition.

 

The group stepped to the side of the narrow path they walked on as a group of green, blue-eyed plant Digimon with flowers sprouting from their heads sprinted by in a playful manner; laughing idly and sneaking glances at the human in their midst.

 

“Who are they?”

 

“Hm? Oh, those are Palmon. They’re the most frequent Digimon you’ll see around here. Most of the plant Digimon live under the protection of Lotosmon. After all, she’s the one keeping all the plants here healthy!”

 

And the Adventure references continue. Don't worry, I only bring it up because you've been consistently good with it, although I might just been looking too much into it.

 

Tahiro realized he hadn’t noticed it before, even when walking in the darkened path. The faunal decay that had been so prevalent outside in the forest was completely absent within this area. So whatever deathly force had pervaded the outside world was being held at bay- apparently by Lotosmon’s power.

 

Betamon finally stopped as the trio arrived at a dead end in the path, a chasm with dark waters below. A drawbridge on the other side. “We’re almost at Lotosmon’s temple, human! Just got to talk to the gatekeeper!”

 

“My name’s Tahiro!” Tahiro said it as a blast of water shot up from below, causing him to jump back in surprise, and Betamon to jump up in amusement.

 

“Tahiro! Tahiro! Getting scared so easily, huh?” Betamon chuckled. “I think you met our gatekeeper before, right?”

 

Tahiro gulped as the stream of water that had rushed up from below fell to reveal a large turquoise sea serpent with a yellow head staring back down at him.

 

“We may have, but I don’t think I gave an introduction. I am Seadramon, defender of the forest waters.” It’s mouth opened in what must have been an enjoyable smile to anyone other than Tahiro. “And you are the human, Tahiro. Just arrived here by the grace of Amatarumon.”

 

Just as the prologue said. I'm really curious about this Amatarumon.

 

Oh, I'm sure he's the typical Gennai/Ophanimon/Omnimon/Abin Sur character. All I know is that I suddenly want to Seadramon to show up more often.

 

“Amatarumon?” Tahiro was having a hard time filing all these new names. Hell, the idea that this was all a dream was still hanging in the back of his mind.

 

Seadramon let out a mighty chuckle. “You’ll come to learn of our more theistic social observances as you spend more time here. For now, I shall let you pass!”

 

Seadramon swung himself around and slashed at the hook holding the drawbridge in place, allowing it to fall down and complete the pathway into the temple.

 

It must be a pain to get that drawback up again.

 

“Come on! Come on! Let’s go see Lotosmon!” Betamon jumped up into Tahiro’s back, pushing him forward and across the pathway.

 

“Good luck, young human. Pray to Amatarumon that you have been chosen, Digidestined.”

 

Doesn't Digidestined, by definition, mean that he was chosen?

 

The last word rung inside Tahiro’s mind as he was pushed, by both Betamon and the quiet Veggiemon, into the inner sanctum of the temple- unable to ask the serpent about it before it dove back into the depths of the canyon waters.

 

TO BE CONTINUED.

 

So, what did you think?

 

Actually, to be honest, I really enjoyed this. A lot of the things done here, like opening right with Tahiro in the Digital World and not automatically giving him his partner were some unique changes that helped it stand out, but it retained classic story beats that helped prove that this was a Digimon story. While the exact plot isn't quite clear just yet, plenty of the characters have been brought into the playing field either with proper introductions or simple mentions of a name. The pacing, despite my teasing, was actually well done. I think if there was to be any major problems, it would be telling instead of showing, as the narration describes how Tahiro more often than we see him actually expressing those emotions.

 

You do realize that, since this is a written format, you can't exactly convey those emotions the same way you could on a screen, right? I think it's a good thing the narration is there.

 

Perhaps. I myself wasn't exactly won over by Tahiro, or really anyone else from the cast besides, Seadramon, but none of them were written too flat or with extreme personalities, leaving room for them to be developed with much contradiction. I wasn't expecting to be mean in this review, and I'm glad that I don't really feel like I need to be. I highly recommend reading this, although as it stands, this has more of an appeal if you're already a Digimon fan.

 

Wow, I'm really impressed how positive you were!

 

I've been out of this for a while, Jen. I'll think you'll need to bring up to speed on the past nine months, and then we'll plan out our next move.

 

[The Warden]

Nice to see some reviewer back. Maybe you could take a crack at Keeping Things Organized; I could do with some publicity.