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R.P.820: A Club for RPers |_/[43 Members]\_| [~]

Blake

By Blake
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Big Bad Pennar Newbie

Big Bad Pennar

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Because of the problem of my last Sample posed, on urging of Nexev and Ice, and with Permission from Black, I decided to redo my sample:

 

I Sighed, looking at the TV screen that contained 2 Black and Gray Punk-like Creatures with Orange Horns as well as a Very Mysterious looking Detective Yelling outside of my Door, with a very angry look, i turned at Avielle, holding his pen tightly in rage. I Yelled at Avielle "Nice going Fatman, Not only you pissed 2-3 very possible friends off, but-" i switch the Channels to the News channel, known as the the Weekly Jump, showing a headline about the card that is known as "Truth Barrier" that was made by Avielle being pulled from the Market to be Remade "You forced one of my ideas to be remade" Avielle tried to Interject, but was met with a hard smack to the face with an iron wand. I then said "At least some good came from you though". I Whistled and said "Nokana, Yata, Andinios, New Girl, Come here!" at which 4 figures entered through a tear in Space, The first figure was a small pitch black girl with red eyes. The second was a very Demonic being wearing very dark Armor, had 4 Devil wings and held 2 swords, One was a large black sword with a red eye on the hilt and had Teeth that opened and closed as it was breathing, The other sword was a much slender Red and Black Blade that had an aura that Avielle himself feared, despite being almost immortal himself. The third was a hooded person, none of his face was able to be seen, but he wore a dark gray robe and held a Giant Raven on his back, the fourth however was nobody seen by any of them, but she was a normal looking Girl, except her red eyes and a huge Black Scar on her face. I Briefed all the people in the room. "That was the 2nd time Avielle's Gas problem happened at some clubs" at which The New Girl said "Don't we all know that, Avielle farted so hard it turned Club Box on the Side!" At which Yata Laughed, but i Gave an Abrupt Command to Stop. I Continued "Okay Nokana, you make sure the Magic Academy you Joined isn't Abandoned, Yata, Go Hunt down and cook something random and bring it to me, Andinios, You find some Gig to reopen your Mafia, Avielle, Get yourself some Bean-o, and Finally, Nos Feraku, Go to that Jail, I wonder if there is some weaker parts in there." at which Avielle, Nokana, Yata, Andinios, and The other girl all said "Okuna Masku Flandre(Okay Master Flandre)" and they took off.

 

Several Minutes later, Yata brings back a sandwich and gives it to me, at which i take a small bite. as i take a bite, My hair stands on end, at which i asked "Yata, this tastes shockingly good, what was that!?" At which Yata Replied "Well, i heard that a God of lightning's Flesh was Succulent, so i hunted one down, My Claymore ate one of his legs, so i cooked up the other leg and made you a sandwich before selling the rest of it and making a Million" at which i shrugged and finished off the sandwich.

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Headmaster Monokuma Newbie

Headmaster Monokuma

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First things first, capitalization. It does not go, "And I Did stuff So That i could Do stuff." Ever. It looks sloppy and makes people want to barf. It hurts the eyes and causes people to skip your posts, instead of trying to read it. I is always capital, same with proper nouns. Common nouns aren't, so the words like, 'jail,' 'space,' and 'market' should not be capital. Same with verbs, they shouldn't be capital unless basic rules of grammar say otherwise.

 

Next, new people speaking should always be started in a new line. It just makes the entire thing look better.

 

I have nothing against first person myself, but you need to be sure to do it right. I can't help myself.

 

I hold my judgment to myself. The other leaders ar free to do as they wish.

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Jake the Sage Rookie

Jake the Sage

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PMed her telling that I was interested in remaking the rpg, seeing as it failed/is failing, and she goes nuts about the idea. Note that this is the first time I've asked to remake it, but I've always offered my assistance on co-owning it so we can have more structure. However when I repled 'You know what? Never mind" because of her whinning about it like normal she is happy.

 

Well I really don't give a d*mn if she is happy or not at this moment, but I still planned on leaving the rpg. When I announced it, and that I was taking my character Noelle with me, she posted this:

 

Jakes leaving cause I wouldn't let him take over....

 

 

True Answer: I am f*cking tired of being in an rpg where there is no direction and the General Moderator is a f*cking crybaby the second you offer assistance.

 

Question: Should I just say, "screw the crybaby and make my own Heartfall? Or should I just forget the entire thing?

I ask this because right now I am more in a spiteful mood and don't want to do something I'd regret later . . .

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Headmaster Monokuma Newbie

Headmaster Monokuma

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PMed her telling that I was interested in remaking the rpg, seeing as it failed/is failing, and she goes nuts about the idea. Note that this is the first time I've asked to remake it, but I've always offered my assistance on co-owning it so we can have more structure. However when I repled 'You know what? Never mind" because of her whinning about it like normal she is happy.

 

You can't do things like that when the owner is an idiot Jake. If they want their RP to be in shambles, then by all means allow it to be.

 

Well I really don't give a d*mn if she is happy or not at this moment, but I still planned on leaving the rpg. When I announced it, and that I was taking my character Noelle with me, she posted this:

 

It's her problem then.

 

True Answer: I am f*cking tired of being in an rpg where there is no direction and the General Moderator is a f*cking crybaby the second you offer assistance.

 

I can see what you mean. I looked at the thread before posting this, and it doesn't look good, to say the least.

 

Question: Should I just say, "screw the crybaby and make my own Heartfall? Or should I just forget the entire thing?

I ask this because right now I am more in a spiteful mood and don't want to do something I'd regret later . . .

 

Say screw it, but if you do make your own version, MAKE SURE it cannot be connected to her's in any way. If it can be, it makes you look immature.

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