Mythical Millennium (Chapter 4 up)

[FrogNinga]

I hope you enjoy this fan-fic, this is pretty new to me. So welcome to Mythical Millenium

How do we change the name now.

 

[spoiler=Chapter 1]

 

"Go Jacks Knight (atk 7500) direct attack," shouted the girl on the other side of the platform. she was dressed in Pitch-Black clothes with gray sandals on, and she had wavy red hair, that just went past her neck. The Purple dressed Knight flew fowards with his sword slashing towards Harrison (Harrison 0).

 

The platform started tipping because the girl on the other side had disappeared "Oh no!" yelled Harrison the platform was about to fall when.

 

 

Beep Beep Beep Beep. "Ah" Harrison Caecilian shot upright after waking up. The room was a Turquiose colour with a Blue Bed, a box in the courner and a brown wardrobe. There were no windows in the room and only one door which was painted white, "That dream again." Harrison Caecilian is young boy who is currently staying at a duel academy in the except at this Duel Academy there are no ranks. He has green eyes and has blue, spiky hair. He wears a normal blue school uniform except with a picture of an Orca on the back. Harrison looked at the clock 12:53. "No, I'm late!" Harrison quickly got up and ready and ran to the door. He ran past the mirror on the way. Was that what I thought it was, or could the mirror just have been misty? No, I must have seen a dragon in that mirror, Harrison thought to himself.

 

 

He ran down the white corridor, it had no pictures and a big window which ran all the way down. Outside it was light with the sun nearly directly overhead there was a flowerbed but the rest was just tree's and green grass. He got to his class room, it was a small room with approximately twenty-four desk's, all of them brown, including the teacher's, the room was full with text books but no-one in the room. "Where is everyone?" every room was empty even the principle's office, "What the, where is everyone?"

 

 

Harrison ran on and rounded the courner he saw a girl round the next courner. She had long, wavy, And was wearing a school uniform exactly like Harrison's except without the picture of an Orca on the back. "Hey come back" Shouted Harrison.

 

"No, stay away from me!" He heard from around the courner. He rounded the courner and the last thing he saw before he blacked out was a rocky platform that came out of nowhere with the girl running towards it, and what seemed to look like him on the other side.

 

 

"Harrison, Harrison wake up," a distance voice said, as Harrison drifted back to reality he saw the face of his teacher, Mr. Ark "You've been sleeping during this test, Said Mr. Ark. Mr. Ark is a middle-aged teacher who has Brown eye's, but he always wear's black sunglasses, and a small brown haircut. He wear's a Brown jacket and Navy blue jeans.

 

"Uh oh, this is not good," said Harrison.

 

 

"You're right, it's not. Now normally I would have to fail you but since this is Duel Academy I must at least give you a chance so you duel the other boy sleeping in this class. Ben Frazzle come here," Mr. Ark pointed to an empty space in the corner of the room, "What where is he!".

 

"Fine I'll give you one day then during the duel I will assess your skills, do i make myself clear?"

 

"Yes sir," replied Harrison,

 

"Good, So now to continue on, what's the best way to destroy a Union monster..."

 

 

The day continued on as a normal day would, until Dueling Class. "Duel," the two contestants shouted.

 

"Who's Dueling?" said Harrison.

 

The girl in front of him turned around, "Oh hi Brittany, I didn't see you there." Brittany Smith is a girl around the same age as Harrison, she Blonde hair that just goes past her shoulders, and has green eye's was dressed in her usual clothes of full White, she was wearing her white T-shirt and jacket with her Blue-Trimmed, White Trousers and black shoes.

 

"I haven't seen you in a while either Harrison, why haven't you texted me?" Brittany's face was going a dark red color, Harrison knew there was a wrong answer to this.

 

"Uh well I lost my cellphone,"

 

"And you think that is a good excuse? I expect you to get a new one and text me every day that you don't see me!"

 

"Ok Brittany calm down, it's not like we are going out or anything. Is this because of Jess and me?"

 

"No it's not!" Shouted Brittany.

 

"Ok at least tell me who's dueling."

 

"Well on the left is Jessica and she seems to be winning, and on the right there is Loui Bronson a duelist who uses a Machina deck, But if that was me there I would be Beating her!"

 

 

"Things never change do they," joked Harrison.

 

"Nah I guess not, so have you got that card I asked you to get for me?"

 

"Sure but why not duel for it?"

 

"Aw but why, my deck's lost without that card"

 

"Cause I wanna see how much better you are,"

 

"Ok then, let's duel!" shouted Brittany. "I'll go first if that's ok with you."

 

"Sure," said Harrison.

 

"Draw!" (B 8000 H 8000)

 

"I summon Warrior of Zera in Attack mode (atk 1600) now I set two card's face-down and end my turn." A warrior in green armour and a blue cape and sword appeared then two face-down cards appeared behind the warrior.

 

"Ok that makes my turn Draw," What to do maybe I'll

 

"Summon Submarine Frog in attack mode," (atk 1200) A green toad in a diver's suit and holding a red spear appeared in front of Harrison but a moment later both him and the Green Warrior were destroyed,

 

"Huh what happened?"

 

"I activated my Torrential Tribute trap card so all monsters on the field are destroyed!" Replied Brittany pointing to the now revealed trap card.

 

"Well that would explain it I play two face down cards and end my turn." Two face-down cards also appeared in front of Harrison.

 

 

"Ok enough stalling my draw," Good a great hand now all I have to do is get Harrison to have a monster on his field,

 

"I activate Mystical Space Typhoon so now i destroy your face-down on my left." The card revealed itself and shot a small tornado to the face-down card.

 

"No not my Demise of the Land!" said Harrison.

 

"And that's just the start of it."

 

 

To Be Continued.

 

 

 

 

 

[spoiler=Chapter 2]

 

Ahh what am I going to do, Harrison thought to himself I can bet that other face down is Mirror Force so i should avoid attacking.

 

 

"Hurry up and make a move I want to win sometime today," said Brittany.

 

 

"Fine but you wont win, Draw, I set one monster and end my turn." A sideways face-down card appeared.

 

 

"Ok time to wrap thing's up, Draw, I activate Call of the Haunted!" The card revealed it self and surrounded itself in shadows, when they disbanded the Warrior of Zera appeared in front of the trap card. "Now I activate my Field Spell Card, Sanctuary in the Sky."

 

 

"Oh no!" muttered Harrison.

 

 

"Oh yes!" The field changed and the two were now standing on clouds with a temple behind Brittany, "So now I can tribute my Warrior to Special Summon Archlord Zerato!" The Green Warrior Disappeared and was replaced by a topless Angel with Golden wing's he had a green helmet with red horn's, he wore a Red cape around his neck, held a Green sword in his hand and had a Purple skirt with a Green orb on it (atk 2800).

 

"So now by discarding a Light monster from my hand I destroy every monster on your side of the field!" She sent The Agent of Force - Mars from her hand to the graveyard and then the set monster on Harrison's side of the field blew up.

 

 

"No not my T.A.D.P.O.L.E."

 

 

"Now I summon Zeradias, Herald of Heaven." (atk 2100) Another topless Angel but with Green wing's appeared. He was holding a Silver spear with a Green handle, and was wearing a Green Helmet with upright Red horn's, Red sash over his torso and Blue trousers with Green shoe's. "Now both my monsters direct attack!" both the Angel's flew towards Harrison and Slashed with the sword and spear (Harrison 3100) "I end my turn. Now, no matter what you do during your turn you will lose!"

 

She looked at her hand, Thats it I can attack again or use my Agent of Judgement - Saturns effect to take the rest of his life points.

 

 

"My turn, Draw, and I activate Lightning Vortex so now i discard 1 card and destroy every face up monster on your field."

 

 

"Wait what!" yelled Brittany. Harrison sent one card from his hand to the graveyard. A storm cloud appeared above Archlord Zerato and Zeradius then it shot lightning down and destroyed both of the monster's.

 

 

"Nice try just not good enough, I activate Water Hazard so now since I control no monsters I can Special Summon another Submarine Frog from my hand. Then I activate Wetlands." Another Frog in a Diver's suit appeared (atk 1200) and the clouds and temple disappeared and were replaced by a field of wet grass. "And this increases the attack points of each level2/aqua/water monster on the field by 1200 so that means Submarine Frog (atk 2400) next i'll activate Monster Reborn and Premature Burial so I pay 800 life points and Special Summon Submarine Frog and T.A.D.P.O.L.E in attack position!" (Harrison 2300) The first Frog in a diver's suit revived and so did a red and brown Tadpole (2400, 1200 Atk respectively).

 

"It was a nice try but your not good enough."

 

 

"But your monsters attack combined equals 6000, so i will still have 2000 life points left." Explained Brittany.

 

 

"Not if i equip T.A.D.P.O.L.E with United We Stand!" The Tadpole started glowing blue and grew to Three times it's size.

 

"Now T.A.D.P.O.L.E gains 800 Attack points for every monster on my side of the field, and that's 2400 extra attack points! (atk 3600) Now all my monster's direct attack."

 

 

"No!" screamed Brittany as all three monsters came towards her. (Brittany 0).

 

 

The holograms faded "Oh damn, I lost," said Brittany.

 

"You did great, you really have got better. So I think you do deserve this card." Harrison took out a card from his pocket and handed it to Brittany.

 

"Thank you so much Harrison your a life saver now I can beat Jessica!" cried Brittany with excitement.

 

"Oh do you think that?" An threatening voice said from behind Brittany. She turned around and it was Jess, she has Blue eye's and long Blue hair just longer than Brittany's, She wears a blue top, blue jeans, blue shoes and blue fingerless gloves.

 

"Jess leave Brittany alone she's just trying to be a good duelist enough to beat her rival," said Harrison.

 

"Oh hello Harrison I didn't she you there, how are you?" asked Jessica kindly, or at least kinder then she spoke to Brittany.

 

"Uh I don't know," replied Harrison. Both girls seemed to be getting angry for some reason.

 

"Why do you need to know anyway? Don't you need to know what Benjamin is doing?" Asked Brittany defensively.

 

"No I don't need to spend every minute with him I want to know what my ex has been doing!" Jess said offensively towards Brittany.

 

"Ok girls just calm down lets all get some rest in our rooms. After all it's late," Said Harrison trying to stop the argument.

 

"Fine!" said both girls.

 

 

Harrison returned to his room and quickly fell asleep after a thought went though his head: At least the mirror looks normal.

 

 

To Be Continued...

 

 

 

 

[spoiler=Chapter 3]

 

"Ha, Ha, Ha!" yelled a deep voice. Harrison was standing in the middle of a black Void. "See you next dream!" yelled the voice again.

 

"No come back! Who are you?" cried Harrison.

 

 

Harrison woke up screaming. "No!" He screamed, He looked around his room. "What just happened?" said Harrison to himself. He couldn't remember anything from his dream, he focused his attention towards the clock 5:34, I woke up early today. He slowly got dressed in his jacket and jeans and left his room at 6:23am. "Maybe I could get a good duel before class starts?” He walked around the school and found that people were gathering round the Duel Stadium.

 

“He’s here!” shouted a student, and all of a sudden Harrison was surrounded by students. They were pushing him towards the stadium and activated his Duel Disk, when he got to the stadium he looked to the other side and saw another student. “I’m here to Duel you!” said the other student.

 

“Who are you?” asked Harrison.

 

“I’m Zack Screamer, now lets Duel!” said Zack.

 

 

“Wait why are we dueling?” asked Harrison,

 

“Because I want you, the best duelist here, to see the power of my deck,” Zack responded.

 

“Really? Me the best duelist here!” Harrison said in excitement.

 

“Well, the best except for me,” joked Zack, “So are we going to Duel or not?”

 

“I think I have no choice.” Harrison looked at the crowd who were chanting,

 

“Duel! Duel! Duel! Duel! Duel! Duel!”

 

“Then I’ll go first!” said Zack, (Z 8000 H 8000) “Draw, I activate Demons and Angels!” The spell card appeared in front of Zack “So now I draw another card. I summon Monsterman Zeal!” (ATK 1000) A man wearing peasant cloths and big teeth, which stick out of his mouth, appeared. “So now I use his effect, which means we both discard a card from our hands.” Both players discarded a card, “now to end my turn I place one card face-down.” The face-down appeared.

 

 

“So now it’s my draw!” Harrison reached for the card on top of his deck, as soon as he touched it, it went straight to the graveyard. “What just happened?” Harrison peered over to Zack’s side of the field and saw a trap card activated.

 

 

“I activated Drastic Drop Off, so when you draw a card it’s sent to the graveyard!”

 

 

“No!” Harrison looked at the card that was sent to the graveyard, Wait maybe I can use this to my advantage. “I activate the effect of Swap Frog from my hand, so now I discard Submarine Frog from my Hand to the Graveyard, to special summon him!” As Harrison discarded the card a yellow and red frog with red horns showed itself in front of him (atk 1000). “It’s effect sends T.A.D.P.O.L.E from my Deck to my Graveyard. Now I use it’s other effect, so by returning it to my hand I can normal summon an extra time this turn, I’ll replace him with two Dupe Frogs!” The red and yellow frog disappeared and was replaced by two Blue Frogs wearing graduation hats (ATK 100 each). “Then I’ll use the effect of Ronintoadin from my graveyard, it’s the card you discarded with Drastic Drop Off, so now I remove Submarine from my Graveyard to special summon him in Defense position!” the diver frog was sucked into a void, and a blue toad with black markings and wielding a Samurai sword showed itself between the Dupe Frogs (ATK 100). “That will end my turn.”

 

“Finally my draw and those warty frogs of yours won’t stand a chance, I summon Monsterman Renton!” another man in peasant cloths but this time with a withered face and no teeth appeared (ATK 800). “His effect means we both can special summon a Level 2 or lower monster from our hands!” Harrison looked at his hand.

 

 

Why isn’t Zack playing a monster? Maybe it’s part of another Monsterman combo? “I summon my T.A.D.P.O.L.E in Defense mode!” The tadpole with red and black markings on its body made its appearance next to a Dupe Frog.

 

 

“Ha, well I think you’ve guessed that I don’t have a level 2 or lower monster in my hand. But I have this, Monsterman Vigron!” another peasant made its appearance, this time with a swollen body (ATK 1200).

 

 

“Wait! How did you summon that?”

 

 

“Well, I have its special ability! Which means since you special summoned a monster it's special summoned! So how do you find my Monstermen so far?” Zack was laughing.

 

 

“Completely useless!” replied Harrison.

 

 

“Huh! You’ll regret those words!” Zack yelled.

 

“Now go Vigron destroy T.A.D.P.O.L.E!” The swollen peasant bounced towards the tadpole, except on impact it just hit the solid floor and returned to its original spot.

 

“What! That’s not possible! He can’t be stopped!” screamed Zack.

 

 

“You don’t pay attention do you!” said Harrison.

 

“When I have a Dupe Frog on the field, it’s the only monster that can be attacked.”

 

 

“But you have two.”

 

 

“Yes. Which means you can’t conduct an attack!” explained Harrison.

 

 

“But! That’s not fair!” cried Zack in embarrassment. The crowd had gone completely silent!

 

 

“Oh! But it is!” Harrison drew Yes just the right card!

 

“I tribute my T.A.D.P.O.L.E and summon Des Frog!” The tadpole grew in size, its tail disappeared and it grew legs. Its entire body turned green. After 1 more tadpole appeared and turned into a green frog (ATK 1900 each).

 

 

“Wait! Did you just summon a bunch of monsters in one turn?” asked Zack.

 

 

“Yeah so.”

 

 

“That’s against the rules isn’t it?”

 

 

“No. My Des Frog has an ability which special summons one more for each T.A.D.P.O.L.E in my Graveyard!”

 

 

“Wait! No!” yelled Zack

 

 

“Yes! I equip Des Frog with United We Stand! So it gains 800 attack points for each monster on my field!” The green frog grew to five times its size. (ATK 5900)

 

“Now I’ll activate Des Croaking!”

 

 

“Wait did you say Des Croaking? But you can’t use it you only have two Des Frogs on the field.”

 

 

“Check your rulebook.” Said Harrison. Both Des Frogs and a Dupe Frog started singing.

 

“While Dupe Frog is on the field its name counts as Des Frog!”

 

 

“Wait you… you Cheat!” screamed Zack as all cards on his side of the field were destroyed.

 

 

“I don’t cheat, I win! All monsters attack Zack!” (Zack 0)

 

 

The crowd roared with cheers,

 

“Harrison! Harrison! Harrison! Harrison!”

 

“That was a great duel Harrison, you really like those frog cards.” Said Zack

 

“Thanks!” replied Harrison. The bell then rang.

 

“Oh I guess we should get to class. I here your dueling Ben the Van’Dalgyon Master! Is that true?”

 

“Yes, actually it’s because we both didn’t do our tests.” They walked to class and the screen faded to black.

 

 

 

 

[spoiler=Chapter 4]

 

“Right, now students you remember what this duel is about. I will assess you on your dueling skills,” said Mr. Ark.

 

“Ok.” Harrison was standing at one side of the Classroom while Ben was standing on the other side.

 

 

“Let’s duel!” shouted Benjamin. (H 8000 B 8000)

 

“I’ll go first!” said Ben as he drew a card.

 

“I Set three cards face-down. Now I summon Bountiful Artemis!” A mechanical, white angel wearing a purple cape appeared, and then the three face-downs showed themselves behind the fairy.

 

“That’s my go.”

 

 

“My turn. Draw.” Said Harrison he looked at his hand. No! I got a bad hand!

 

“Well I guess I’ll set two cards and summon Dupe Frog in attack mode.” The two cards appeared in front of Harrison and then a blue frog wearing a graduation hat (ATK 100). “I’ll finish by activating my Wetlands field spell!” the card just sent itself to the Graveyard.

 

“Ok what did you do?”

 

 

“I used Dark Bribe so your card is negated and then you draw a card.” The card was revealed and Harrison drew a card, shortly after a huge black red and purple mechanical dragon appeared.

 

 

“Oh! No! Not Van’Dalgyon!” yelled Harrison.

 

 

“Yes! Welcome to the field Van’Dalgyon the Dark Dragon Lord! (ATK 2800) And then his effect activates since I negated a spell card to summon him you take 1500 damage (H 6500). Plus remember my Bountiful Artemis is still on the field which means I draw a card! Now continue.”

 

 

“Fine I can only just end my turn.”

 

 

“So it’s my draw and I play Graceful Charity!” the card showed itself in front of Ben. Ben drew 3 cards and discarded 2.

 

“Perfect. Now go Bountiful Artemis attack that Dupe Frog” The fairy flew towards the blue frog. A trap card revealed itself as Froggy Forcefield.

 

 

“Ha! Flew right into that one.” said Harrison.

 

 

“Not really, trap card activate Solemn Judgement!” (Ben 4000) The Froggy Forcefield disappeared and the attack continued.

 

“Don’t forget! I get to draw a card and also I summon another Van’Dalgyon!” (ATK 2800)

 

 

“No not another one!” shouted Harrison.

 

 

“Yes so Bountiful Artemis attack!” the fairy slashed the frog. (H 5000)

 

 

“Now I can add Swap Frog to my hand.”

 

 

“So that doesn’t save you, both Van’Dalgyon’s direct attack!” (H 0)

 

 

 

“So that concludes it Ben won. I will give your grades to you tomorrow.” Said Mr. Ark. The day concluded with more tests and lectures that weren’t even necessary. Harrison made his way back to his room and when he got there he noticed a sign on the door. Dear Harrison Caecilian, you have been moved to room 52. Sorry for the short notice. “Well that’s the most boring letter ever.” Said Harrison. He continued down the hallway and found his new room, there was no one in there.

 

“That’s odd where is everybody today?” he walked to the Hall. It was a big room with dull brown colouring to it, everybody was in there including Mr. Ark, Brittany, Jess, Ben and as Harrison looked around maybe his new roommate. Harrison walked over to Brittany.

 

“Hi Brittany, what’s going on in here?” asked Harrison.

 

“Harrison!” shouted Brittany,

 

“You’re here!”

 

“Yes I am, where is here?” replied Harrison.

 

“You don’t know? There having a huge sale on booster packs!” screamed Brittany with excitement. They walked around and found a few packs they liked and ran into Jess and Ben on the way.

 

 

“Hi Harrison” said Jess, who was holding Ben’s hand,

 

“Hi Jess, hi Ben.” Replied Harrison. At the moment Brittany was trying not to catch Jess’ eye.

 

“How many booster packs have you bought?” asked Ben,

 

“Well I have 5 packs and Brittany has about,” Harrison thought for a moment,

 

“How many do you have again?”

 

“Oh, uh, 23.” Replied Brittany.

 

“Well you don’t have many do you Harrison? But I have 300 Weeping Fairy packs.” Boasted Jess,

 

“Oh! My! God!” cried Brittany as she ran over to Jess.

 

“Can I have just one please?” screamed Brittany,

 

“No! There for me to open!” yelled Jess

 

“Oh come on Jess, it wont hurt for you to give just one away,” said Ben.

 

“Ok, but only for you Ben.” Jess took out a booster pack and gave it to Brittany.

 

“Thank you so much” said Brittany as she quickly opened it.

 

 

The sale went on for many hours and thousands of packs were sold. It was 7:34pm before they closed. “Ok Brittany I’ll go to bed now, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Said Harrison.

 

They all split up and returned to there rooms, when Harrison returned he saw a child outside the room with his Duel Disk activated,

 

“Hi I guess you’re my roommate now” said the boy.

 

“Yeah I think so.” Replied Harrison, He walked towards the door but the boy wouldn’t move.

 

“Um, you think you could move a bit?” Harrison asked,

 

“I’m sorry but for you to enter my room you need to Duel me!” said the boy

 

“What!”

 

“Sorry but that’s the way it works with me. I need to know if your worthy of being my roommate.”

 

“Ok I guess I have no choice. Hey what’s your name?” asked Harrison

 

“Raven Hawkins!” replied Raven.

 

“So do you use a Bird deck?”

 

“NO!”

 

 

“Duel” both players shouted. (H 8000 R 8000).

 

"I'll go first!" shouted Raven,

 

"Draw! I summon Treat - Pumpkin Lollipop in attack mode!"

 

 

"Hang on did you say Treat?" asked Harrison.

 

 

"Yes! Treat monsters have powerful powers (ATK 0 (Treat counters 3))so now I set a card and end my turn." A small Pumpkin on a stick and a face-down card appeared.

 

 

"Weird stratagy but oh well. Draw!" Harrison looked at the cards he had. Oh no! There all spells and traps! But wait. "I activate Pot of Greed so I draw 2 cards. Now i set three face-down cards and end my turn." the face-downs appeared one by one infront of harrison.

 

 

"Wow! No monsters! Well thats ok I activate from my hand my spell card Hidden Sweet Stash! All I have to do is discard a card from my hand, and then i can special summon a Treat monster from my Graveyard!"

 

 

"What! Another one!"

 

 

"Yes! I Special Summon my Treat - Frog Eyes! (ATK 0 (Treat Counters 3))," three green eyes showed themselves next to the Lollipop. Shortly after a trap card revealed itself.

 

"Oh! Right I activate the ability of Candy Collection Box so I tribute my Treat - Frog Eyes to put a Frog counter on it!"

 

 

"I'm guessing thats a bad thing!" said Harrison after a small cardboard box appeared and the eyes jumped into it.

 

 

"Oh! Yes! Yes it is!"

 

 

 

 

[spoiler=Chapter 5]

This guy has one sweet tooth.

"Please hurry up Raven" said Harrison. He was facing Raven Hawkins who has an army of Treat monsters in his deck, but on his field there is Treat - Pumpkin Lollipop (ATK 0 (Treat Counters 3)) and the Candy Collection Box (Frog Counters 1).

 

"Oh sorry. Your go." Raven replied.

 

What! You're kidding me, all he did was summon a bunch of eyes and add them to his cardboard box. Oh well.

"Draw! Ha I activate Card Destruction so we both discard our hands and draw new ones!"

 

"Ha I thought of the same thing," He said, then he revealed a card in his hand.

"This is Beggar of Halloween. When you activate a spell card he can be discarded to negate that and then I have to add Pumpkin lollipop to the box."

 

"What!" Yelled Harrison, a small child appeared and destroyed the Card Destrution's card then Treat - Pumpkin Lollipop flew into the Candy Collection Box.

 

"Fine then I activate..." As Harrison spoke a blond haired girl wearing a black school uniform and gray sandals ran round the courner, then Mr. Ark appeared from the courner behind them.

 

"Come back here Milly your detention isn't over!" said Mr. Ark. The girl ran straight into Raven.

 

"I'm so sorry," said Milly.

 

"And you two what are you doing dueling you know there's no dueling in the hallways!" shouted Mr. Ark.

 

"Since when!" yelled Raven.

 

"Since now! I will let you off this time but go to bed ok?"

 

"Ok," Harrison and Raven both said. When they entered there room the last thing they saw was Milly's sad face.

 

The room was coloured green and there were three beds, one window and a toilet next to the entrance.

"You're on the bed closest to the window," said Raven as he pointed to the bed on the far right. Raven slept on the one on the far left and the middle one had his suitcase on it. They got into bed and Harrison slowly fell asleep wondering about the girl Milly.

 

 

 

[spoiler=Chapter 6]

"Hehe! I'm getting bored of you!" said the Voice.

 

Harrison was once again in his dream world of darkness, but for some reason it was different. This time Harrison had won three duels in a row.

 

"I've had enough of you! I need a new subject!" Yelled the voice. Harrison just stood still. He had been in enough of these dreams to know just to shut up and not move.

"Ahh how about this girl." Then a picture of Milly Harpiun appeared in front of Harrison.

"Yes you shall duel her and lose! Because if you don't I will stay with you forever!" The voice laughed.

"Oh yes and if you don't play to your best then I will take over the duel and win!"

 

Harrison woke up with a shock. He couldn't remember his dream, but something seemed odd one word kept popping into his head, or at least one person.

"Hi Harrison you must have had a rough night you look awful," said Raven.

 

"I feel awful. God I'd love a duel right now." Harrison replied.

 

"Well I can't duel, I've got a trip today. Well, not a trip, cause were not leaving the school."

 

"Then what are you doing?"

 

"Well, me and a couple of other students have been asked to take part in a tournament!"

Before Harrison could respond there was a knock on the door. Raven walked over to the door and opened it.

"Oh look it's Jess, she must be looking for you," said Raven before he exited the room, then Jess entered.

 

"Get up sleepy head! We have to go!" shouted Jess.

 

"Go where?" asked Harrison as he got up.

 

"You are so slow Harrison! To the contest!" Jess yelled.

"Ok you don't know I get it! Well the school teachers will be having a day off soon, and there's a Teacher-For-A-Day contest going on!"

 

"Really! Do we get to enter?"

 

"No, but any one else can enter, even my Dad is entering!"

 

"So why do we have to go there?"

 

"Because if we go now we could see our teacher!"

Meanwhile while Harrison and Jess were getting ready Brittany was already there.

 

"Cool look at all these people!" said Brittany excitedly. She walked around looking at all the Men and Women putting there names into the boxes, a woman walked up to Brittany.

 

"Hello girl, I'm here to enter, but can't find the paper. Would you know where to find it?" she said.

 

"Yes over by the pine tree." She pointed to the pine tree, the only living plant in the courtyard.

 

"Thank you!" she said happily.

 

Brittany walked around and suddenly bumped into something that felt harder than bricks. Then she realised it was a person.

"Oh sorry!" said Brittany.

 

"Oh no, I'm the one who's sorry, I wasn't watching where I was going." Said a voice.

 

Huh thought Brittany Was that a boy or a girl speaking? Then she looked up. There was a person there but still Brittany couldn't tell whether it was a boy or girl. It was wearing a blue hood, blue mask that at the bottom was broken but wore a cloth underneath the mask. Brittany then saw it was dressed in a blue cloak with no designs on it as well as blue gloves.

"Again I'm sorry, can I help you up?" He/She said holding out his/her hand. Brittany got up with its help.

 

"Who are you?" asked Brittany. But He/She didn't respond.

"Hello did you hear me? I asked who are you?"

 

"I am known as many names but you can call me Mystery," Mystery said.

 

"Ok, thank you. I don't mean to be rude but are you a boy or a girl?" asked Brittany.

 

"I'd rather not answer that," said Mystery. Then Brittany noticed the registration paper. It said Kim.

 

"Oh so you're a girl!" said Brittany pointing to the piece of paper.

 

"Oh no! This isn't me, I mean, I'm not Kim."

 

"So why are you entering that name?"

 

"Because I'm entering a friend, ok." said Mystery.

 

"Hey Brittany!" Harrison called from behind her. By then Jess had already found Ben and was hanging around with him. Brittany turned to look at Harrison.

 

"Hi!" She yelled, then she looked back and Mystery was gone. What! Where did He/She go?

 

"Who are you looking for Brittany? I'm right here!" said Harrison.

 

"Sorry, there was someone here, they were a little weird. Oh never mind!" After a while of walking around and talking everybody left and a voice came over the Tanoid. "Please return to you classrooms class is now in session." the voice said.

 

A very boring lesson later. Hmm I havn't seen Raven all day, He wasn't in class. Harrison looked around and finally found Raven, he had lost a duel to Zack.

 

"Damnit!" yelled Raven,

"I just can't win. It's my deck I know it!"

 

"Well at least I don't feel that bad when I lose," said Harrison.

 

"Damnit Harrison! Why do you have to be so mean!" Shouted Raven and he ran away.

 

"You have to admit Harrison that was a little harsh," said Zack

 

"It had to be said," joked Harrison. Then he saw Milly and before he knew it they were dueling.

 

"Duel" They both shouted.

 

 

Chapter 7 on Post 4

[CrabHelmet]

Mind if I give my opinion?

[Mysty]

You really need top go into more detail, Froggy. I'd do a Weather Report, but I'm not authorized to do that. Here's what I suggest:

-actually use punctuation

-if it has a red line underneath it, maybe you should recheck the spelling

-don't rush through things. Put in detail about what is happening around Harrison. Explain what the girl on the other side of the stage looked like. Explain what each of the other people look like.

 

As for the storyline from what I got of it:

-you don't waste any time getting into the love interests and situations, do you? Jessica Bridle is Harrison's ex-girlfriend, Brittany seems to be like his next girlfriend, if not already his next girlfriend, and Benjamin now has Bridle. Interesting.

-How does a Jack's Knight get to 7500 ATK!? You don't need to answer that, I'm just, wow!

 

Sounds promising, but the delivery wasn't too good. As I said, I'll need authorization to do a Weather Report before I can truly show you everything wrong specifically. God, I hope Crab Helmet doesn't do a Foe Fiction on this just yet.

EDIT: Wow, Crabby, that was quick.

[FrogNinga]

[spoiler=Chapter 7]

"Duel!" Shouted Milly and Harrison (M 4000 H 4000).

 

"Wait! Why are our lifepoints at 4000?" asked Harrison,

 

"To save time!" yelled Milly,

 

"Ok! No need to shout. You can go first," said Harrison. Then a Deep Voice came into his thoughts,

 

"Remember! Lose!"

 

Huh who was that, Thought Harrison. Oh well.

 

"Draw!" Milly shouted,

"I set three cards face down, and end my turn," as she said it the three face-downs appeared,

 

"Ok, Draw!" Harrison looked at his hand. He saw it, his ace card Great time to reveal my favourite combo.

"Now I activate graceful charity! So I draw three and discard two!" He placed into the graveyard two Submarine Frogs.

"Now I play Foolish Burial!" He sent Ronintoadin to his graveyard.

"Next I discard T.A.D.P.O.L.E from my hand to the graveyard to summon Swap Frog!" The yellow and red frog with red horns showed itself on the field. Then the blue frog with black markings and a samurai sword appeared.

"I removed my Submarine Frog to summon Ronintoadin. And now I will summon my best monster! But first I will activate Wetlands!" Said Harrison. The field turned into a small wet grassy area.

 

"Yes! Use it and use it's effect!" Said the Deep Voice

 

What was that? Why do I keep hearing things?

"I tribute Swap Frog and Ronintoadin to summon Earthbound Immortal Chacu Challhua!" Harrison yelled as the pitch black Orca, with purple markings, appeared out of the ground.

 

"Now Chacu Challhua's effect you'll take 1200 points of damage!" The Orca roared and shot a jet of water at Milly. (M 2800)

 

"You've tripped my trap! Go Comeback Knight!" said Milly. The trap revealed itself and a Jester with a sword appeared.

"It allows me to summon Jester's Knight because he has 1200 atk points the same damage I took!" (ATK 1200)

 

"Your turn then."

 

"Draw! I activate Valor of a Knight." A red shield appeared and after a female knight who then grabbed the shield.

"This is Queen's Knight (ATK 1500) she was summoned cause I only control one monster, but let's continue I summon 2nd Knight." A peasant man wielding a dagger appeared (ATK 1000).

"I'll end my turn because Valor of a Knight prevents me from conducting my battle phase."

 

"Ok then I use Chacu's effect! And end my turn." Chacu Challhua shot another jet of water at Milly. (M 1600) When Harrison looked Milly's 2nd Knight had got a bigger sword and a shield.

 

"Since you won't know i'll tell you 2nd Knight gets one level and 500 attack points stronger during your end phases." (ATK 1500 LVL 3(Max. ATK 2000 LVL 4)) "Draw! Hmm I end my turn without making a move." said Milly in a happy tone.

 

"What?! Thats all?" said Harrison, very confused.

 

"Yep go!"

 

"Fine then, Draw! Chacu's effect and I end my turn" Yet another jet of water shot at Milly. (M 400) Whats she waiting for? Harrison thought.

 

"Draw!" She was concentrating on her cards.

 

Wait a Knight Deck Harrison remembered back to the dream

 

FLASHBACK

 

"Go Jack's Knight (ATK 7500) direct attack" (H 0)

 

REALITY

 

But that can't be her she doesn't have red hair, and she hasn't used that spell card

 

"I set one card and end my turn." Another set card appeared.

 

"Ok if that's the way, draw!" Ha I can win right now

 

Then all of a sudden the voice was back.

"I am amused by this, so i'll give you your memories back of our little talk!" After a few secs words and images flew into Harrison's mind, they read:

W I N A N D I ' L L S T A Y W I T H Y O U F O R E V E R

L O S E A N D I ' L L M O V E O N T O M I L L Y

M A K E Y O U R S E L F L O S E A N D I ' L L M A K E Y O U W I N

 

Wait I remember now, but now i'm going to win no matter what! Unless she has a good face-down.

He closed his eyes.

"I use Chacu's effect!" It shot the jet of water and when he didn't here it hit Milly he opened his eyes. And there it was, his saviour.

 

"I activate Divine Wrath so by discarding a card from my hand your monster is destroyed and it's effect is negated."

 

Harrison looked at his hand Yes no monsters! (2nd Knight ATK 2000 LVL 4)

 

"My turn! Draw!" She smiled

"I play Joker's Command so by destroying all of my monsters but Queen's Knight I can add King's Knight to my hand! And i'll summon it!" The trap revealed itself and Jester's Knight and 2nd Knight were destroyed and was replaced by a knight in golden armour (ATK 1600)

"And by his effect! I summon Jack's Knight!" another knight but in purple armor appeared. (ATK 1900)

"I activate Pot of Greed and then equip Jack's Knight with 2 Mage Powers and 2 Lightning Blades!"

 

Ok that proves she wasn't the one from my dreams and it was a coincidence.

 

"Jack's Knight direct attack!" (ATK 8500(1900 + 2500 + 2500 + 800 + 800)) (H 0)

"Guess that's it." Milly said and she walked away.

 

Harrison knew he was now free.

"Wow look at that you got beat." Said Zack.

"We better go to our rooms." He said.

 

"Yeah I guess." said Harrison as he started walking.

 

Meanwhile in the corridor.

"Hmm so you tried to use Harrison to get me huh!" she said. Milly lifted up her hand and in it she was holding a Black shade with white spots at the top.

 

"How did you stop me?" said a deep voice emitting from the Shade.

 

"So what's your name?" Milly asked,

 

"You can call me Shade!" Shade said,

 

"Ok Shade i'm going to let you go but put a spell on you so you can't enter a person's mind ever again!" Her hand glowed and with it so did Shade then she let go and it flew away.

 

 

[Mysty]

Good news! Weather Report - Stand has given me the authorization to do a Weather Report! I greatly appreciate it, Weatherman!

 

Welcome to my fan-fic Mythical Millenium

 

You do realize Millennium is spelled with two n's' date=' right?[/color']

 

[spoiler=Chapter 1]

"Go Jacks Knight (atk 7500) direct attack," shouted the girl on the other side of the platform (harrison 0).

 

As much as I'm impressed somebody got a Jack's Knight to 7500 ATK, aren't there holograms or something? And what do these people look like?

 

The platform started tipping because the girl on the other side had disserpeareddisappeared, though she was already blurry and covered with gray clouds, "Oh no," the platform was about to fall when.

 

Come on, you correct punctuation and spelling. And who's talking? And when did these gray clouds appear?

 

Beep Beep Beep Beep. "Ah" Harrison Caecilian shot upright straight after waking up. "That dream again." Harrison Caecilian is young boy who is currently staying at a duel academy in the satteliteSatellite except at this Duel Academy there are no ranks, who wears a normal blue school uniform except with a picture of a whale on the back. Harrison looked at the clock 12:53 no im late, Harrison quickly got up and ready and ran to the door which means he ran past the mirror on the way Was that what I thought it was, or could the mirror just have been misty Harrison thought to him self.

 

What was in the mirror? What, is he scared of his own image? He must hate his life. And what is this room, a white space? And, oh my god, this spelling and grammar is horrible.

 

He ran down the corridor towards his class room "Where is everyone," every room was empty, he got to his class room "What the, theres nobody anywhere."

 

At least add punctuation. I'm not even quite sure where to start. Maybe you could even describe the hallway or class room.

 

Harrison ran on and rounded the courner he saw a girl round the next courner, she was wearing a school uniform exactly like Harrison's except with the picture of Jack's Knight. "Hey come back" Shouted Harrison.

"No stay away from me" He heard from around the courner. He rounded the courner and the last thing he saw before he blacked out was a platform with the girl running towards it.

 

So, no description on the girl, but you note that the girl has the picture of a Jack's Knight on her uniform? What, does everybody wear the same uniform except for a picture of their choice somewhere on it?

And you said, exactly. Does that mean this girl has a uniform with both a whale AND a Jack's Knight, or just a Jack's Knight?

 

"Harrison, Harrison wake up," a distance voice said, as Harrison drifted back to reality he saw the face of his teacher, Mr. Gadget "You've been sleeping during this test, Test on dice rolling mean anything to you," Said Mr. Gadget.

 

So, obviously-named teacher gives a test on dice-rolling? What in the world does that mean? What could a dice-rolling test possibly mean? Probability? Cheating with dice?

You know, it's just getting too tedious to change the grammatical errors. Perhaps I'll point them out when I'm not tired of pointing every little thing out.

 

"Uh oh this is not good," said Harrison,

 

No kidding. At least this kid isn't Jaden.

 

"Your right its not now normaly I would have to fail you but since this is Duel Academy everthing must be settled in a duel

 

Really? EVERYTHING is solved with a duel? So if a student brings a nuclear missile to school and threatens to set it off he can just win a duel and be allowed to set it off? Even in the world of yugioh not everything is solved with a duel, so why should a teacher's rules and policies be decided through duels?

 

so you duel the other boy sleeping in this class. Ben Frazzle come here[either . or ,]" Mr. Gadget pointed to a boy sleeping in the corner of the room, Harrison recognized him as the Boyfriend of his previous girlfriend, Jessica Bridle.

"Uh teach," Ben said as he woke up, "I left my deck in my room i can't duel until tommorow."

 

Really? Students are allowed not to have their deck with them at all times? That's survival lesson #1 in the yugioh world! What a second/third/last-rate hack!

 

"Fine ill give you each one day then the one who wins the duel passes and the other one fails, plus if the duel ends in a draw then you both fail, do i make myself clear?"

 

Wow, whether you pass or fail depends partly on luck. Why not grade them based on how well they use their strategies during the duel rather than winning. Getting a lucky draw shouldn't be rewarded with a good grade if it is the only thing that gives you a victory which, in the yugioh world, happens quite often with yugioh protagonists.

 

"Yes sir," replied Harrison,

"Good. So now to continue on. Let me teach you about union monsters..."

 

Dude, use punctuation. here's a prime example.

 

The day continued on as a normal day would, until Dueling Class. "Duel," the two contestants shouted.

"Who's Dueling," said Harrison.

 

This guy doesn't like to ask questions, does he? Neither does anybody in this fic. Question marks work wonders.

 

The girl infront of him turned around, "Oh hi Brittany i didn't see you there" Brittany Smith was dressed in her usual clothes of full White, she was wearing her white T-shirt and jacket with her Blue-Trimmed, White Trousers and black shoes.

 

You know, just telling you where to add punctuation doesn't teach you too much. I'll let you figure it out.

What does this Brittany girl look like? Blond hair, blue eyes, maybe?

 

"I havn't seen you in a while either Harrison why havn't you texted me," Brittany's face was going a dark red color, Harrison knew there was a wrong answer to this.

 

Again, the missing question marks.

 

"Uh well I lost my cellphone,"

"And you think that is a good excuse I expect you to get a new one and text me every day that you dont see me,"

"Ok Brittany calm down, it's not like we are going out or anything, is this because of Jess and me"

"No it's not!" Shouted Brittany "I just worry about you" she said blushing.

"Ok at least tell me whos dueling"

"Well on the left is Jessica and she seems to be winning, and on the right there is Loui Bronson a duelist who uses a Machina deck,"

"Things never change do they," Joked Harrison.

"Nah I guess not, so would you like to duel me to pass the time?"

"Sure why not it's been a while since ive had a good duel!"

 

I'm not sure exactly how to comment on that besides punctuation. It just seems so quirky that they jumped into a duel like that.

 

"Ok then let's duel," Shouted Brittany,

"I'll go first if that's ok with you."

"Sure," said Harrison

"Draw!" (B 8000 H 8000)

"I summon Warrior of Zera in Attack mode (atk 1600) now I set two card's face-down and end my turn." A warrior in green armour and a blue cape and sword appeared then two face-down cards appeared behind the warrior.

 

At least you did this part right.

 

"Ok that makes my turn Draw," [/i]What to do maybe I'll[/i]

"Summon Submarine Frog in attack mode," (atk 1200) A green toad in a diver's suit and holding a red spear appeared infront of Harrison but a moment later both him and the Green Warrior were destroyed,

"Huh what happened?"

"I activated my Torrential Tribute trap card so all monsters on the field are destroyed!" Replied Brittany pointing to the now revealed trap card.

"Well that would explain it I play two face down cards and end my turn." Two face-down cards also appeared infront of Harrison.

 

"Ok enough stalling my draw," Good a great hand now all I have to do is get Harrison to have a monster on his field,

"I activate Mystical Space Typhoon so now i destroy your face-down on my left." The card revealed itself and shot a small tornado to the face-down card.

"No not my Demise of the Land!" said Harrison.

"And thats just the start of it."

 

 

 

Storyline is somewhat good and the duel is turning out well, but the spelling, grammar, and lack of detail kills it.

Don't give up though. I see a lot of potential for this fanfic. It just needs to be fixed up a bit.

[Weather Report - Stand]

Uh, yeah, you should REALLY get used to using things like question marks and exclamation points. And I'd actually say that nothing was all that special in the duel, it just feels too bland and such. I can't say anything that hasn't been said, so, Mr. Frog kid, your story right now is bad, and you need to fix it.

 

Did I say that right? Well, okay, I guess I'm gone now.

[FrogNinga]

Right I made changes, so see how you like it now.

[Weather Report - Stand]

Well, because you suggested me to see if I liked Chapter 1 now, I guess I'll do an Original-Flavor Weather Report, now!

Welcome to my fan-fic Mythical Millennium

Most boring intro ever.

[spoiler=Chapter 1]

"Go Jacks Knight (atk 7500) direct attack' date='" shouted the girl on the other side of the platform, she was dressed in Pitch-Black clothes with gray sandals on, Wow, she's not very excited, judging by the lack of exclamation. And why'd you throw the stats in the middle of her sentence? That's just not groovy. And why'd you capitalize 'Pitch-Black' and explain her clothing? Does she have a face? Or hair? And was there supposed to be a period at the end? The Purple dressed Knight flew towards with his sword slashing towards Harrison (Harrison 0). Jack's Knight's not purple. Also who the heck's Harrison?!

The platform started tipping because the girl on the other side had disappeared "Oh no," said Harrison the platform was about to fall when. I laughed here because it all happened for no reason.

A platform fell, taking a girl with it.

"Oh no," Harrison sighed with no feeling. Then he fell too until.

What's with the half-assed sudden ending here?

 

Beep Beep Beep Beep. Most boring alarm clock ever. "Ah" Harrison Caecilian shot upright after waking up. Is that a real last name?! Its spelling is... so weird (and if it's yours I apologize). Also why DON'T you use exclamation points? The room was a Turquiose colour with a Blue Bed (with a Blue Eyes White Dragon dovet), a box in the courner and a brown wardrobe. I enjoy the explanation of the room, but why'd you use with so many times? Well, it was twice, but you shouldn't repeat some words in sentences unless it's for the sake of hilarious repetition. There were no windows in the room and only one door which was painted white, "That dream again." Why do most of your sentences end so oddly?Harrison Caecilian is young boy who is currently staying at a duel academy in the except at this Duel Academy there are no ranks, he has Green eye's and has Blue, Spikey hair. Why did you suddenly become a narrator in the middle of a paragraph, and why are all of his descriptors capitalized and with apostrophes? And though I do like there being a school without ranks (besides grades), why does everybody have to have spiky hair, even in America? Or England? He wears a normal blue school uniform except with a picture of an Orca on the back. How random, unless he goes to the 'Mako Tsumani School of Dueling". Harrison looked at the clock 12:53 no im late, Seriously? You don't see anything wrong with that sentence? Harrison quickly got up and ready and ran to the door which means he ran past the mirror on the way ... Ready? Um... Was that what I thought it was, or could the mirror just have been misty, No I must have seen a Dragon in that mirror Harrison thought to him self. Well WE sure wouldn't know, since you never implied that there was a mirror or a dragon in it.

 

He ran down the white corridor, it had no pictures and a big window which ran all the way down. Okay. Outside it was Light with the sun nearly directly overhead there was a flowerbed but the rest was just tree's and green grass. HOORAY!! It's Light!! With weird capitalization, to boot! And you really do need somebody to help you with your grammar. EVERYWHERE there's an error or something that just seems to run on and on. If you're in High School or above, I actually pity you. He got to his class room, it was a small room with approximately Twenty-Four desk's, all of them brown, including the teacher's, the room was full with text books but no-one in the room. Well, THAT was fast... OH, HE LIVES IN A BOARDING SCHOOL! Ahahaha, I should've known... but I'm sick and tired of having to explain all the weird capital letters and apostraphes. Doing THIS (THING'S, for example) signifies that the word with the apostraphe would be THING IS!! Not THINGS!! I hope you've learned a valuable lesson here today."Where is everyone," every room was empty even the principle's office, "What the, where is everyone." And who's saying this? Our main character? Aw, no way, otherwise it would SAY that he said that.

 

Harrison ran on and rounded the courner he saw a girl round the next courner, she had long, wavy, Red hair just like the girl's in his dream and was wearing a school uniform exactly like Harrison's except without the picture of an Orca on the back. So he ran down a corner and then another corner and he was a girl with Red wavy hair like the one girl in his dream (whom we did NOT know had wavy red hair) and wore a similar uniform but without the orca? Note please that you wrote your sentence the same way as I did. Maybe now you know how retarded (no offense to any retarded people out there, I'm sorry if that was offensive) run-on sentences sound. And if their uniforms looked the same, and I'd expect a girl in a boarding school to wear a skirt, then... oh crap, Harrison's got a skirt!! *Bleh* "Hey come back" Shouted Harrison. She's not going anywhere. "No stay away from me" He heard from around the courner. Well you didn't SAY she was going anywhere! He rounded the courner and the last thing he saw before he blacked out was a rocky platform that came out of nowhere with the girl running towards it, and what seemed to look like him on the other side. ... Now WHAT just happened?!

 

"Harrison, Harrison wake up," a distance voice said, as Harrison drifted back to reality he saw the face of his teacher, Mr. Uuson So... did he run into that random rock wall and knock himself out like an idiot? "You've been sleeping during this test, Said Uuson. Mr. Uuson is a middle-aged teacher who has Brown eye's, but he always wear's black sunglasses, and a small brown haircut. He wear's a Brown jacket and Navy blue jeans. Oh, well that makes sense. But you don't have to describe all the characters unless they matter. If this teacher's merely a side character, then you don't have to describe his clothing if it won't matter.

"Uh oh this is not good," said Harrison, He sounds like an idiot. Or, less rudely, somebody who just learned English. Why do you make characters speak so blandly without caring about their own story? And why don't you like periods much? Do you have a vendetta? Saying you came from another country that didn't speak English isn't an excuse, because so people can learn fast and well if they put in enough effort.

"Your right its not now normaly I would have to fail you but since this is Duel Academy I must atleast give you a chance

so you duel the other boy sleeping in this class. Ben Frazzle come here," Random spaces for the win. Also random crappy names for the win. And bad spelling. And nonsensical dueling reason. Unless teh randomness of the duel is supposed to be funny, it's just dumb.Mr. Uuson, the man with the really dumb name, pointed to a boy sleeping in the corner of the room, Harrison recognized him as the Boyfriend of his previous girlfriend, Jessica Bridle. What's up with you and names? Bridle? Seriously? Unless you know a person with that name, it's inexcusable.

"Uh teach," Ben said as he woke up, "I forgot to bring a deck today I accidently left it in my room I can't duel until I get it." Lazyass. Your room is right down the hall, so you march right down there and get it young man or no dessert!!

"Fine ill give you each one day then during the duel I will asses your skill's, do i make myself clear?" Dumbass teachers these days...

"Yes sir," replied Harrison,

"Good, So now to continue on, what's the best way to destroy a Union monster..."

 

The day continued on as a normal day would, until Dueling Class. "Duel," the two contestants shouted. Emotionless, as usual.

"Who's Dueling?" said Harrison.

The girl infront of him turned around, "Oh hi Brittany i didn't see you there." From stupid names to boring names, this story has quite the range if I do say so myself. Brittany Smith is a girl around the same age as Harrison, she Blonde hair Huh?! that just goes past her shoulders, and has green eye's was dressed in her usual clothes of full White, she was wearing her white T-shirt and jacket with her Blue-Trimmed, White Trousers and black shoes. We care more about the clothes than we do the person themself, after all! Why, I bet she doesn't have any unusual marks of gimmicks!

"I havn't seen you in a while either Harrison why haven't you texted me?" Brittany's face was going a dark red color, Harrison knew there was a wrong answer to this. You really need to work on how you write for people. Try speaking the lines out loud as you type them. Maybe then you'll understand how important commas or exclamation points are.

 

"Uh well I lost my cellphone,"

"And you think that is a good excuse I expect you to get a new one and text me every day that you dont see me," Do people really act like this, or do I need to get out more?

"Ok Brittany calm down, it's not like we are going out or anything, is this because of Jess and me"

"No it's not!" Shouted Brittany. What a bee-yotch!

"Ok at least tell me whos dueling" What a horrible speller!

"Well on the left is Jessica and she seems to be winning, and on the right there is Loui Bronson a duelist who uses a Machina deck," Um okay. I don't care much.

"Things never change do they," Joked Harrison.

"Nah I guess not, so have you got that card I asked you to get for me?"

"Sure but why not duel for it?"

"Aw but why, my deck's lost without that card"

"Cause I wanna see how much better you are,"

"Ok then let's duel," Shouted Brittany. Now that's just rude! Your friend asked you to get them a card, which YOU probably don't even need, and then you duel them for it! What a bastard this kid is!

 

"I'll go first if that's ok with you."

"Sure," said Harrison

"Draw!" (B 8000 H 8000)

"I summon Warrior of Zera in Attack mode (atk 1600) now I set two card's face-down and end my turn." A warrior in green armour and a blue cape and sword appeared then two face-down cards appeared behind the warrior. RUNONSETNECESAREREALLYBADBECAUSETHEYDON'TEND-WHENTHEYSHOULDANDITGETSREALLYANNOYINGWHENTHERE'SNO-REASONFORITATALLYEAH.

"Ok that makes my turn Draw," [/i]What to do maybe I'll[/i] Hubba-wha?! Did he just forget what he was thinking about?!

"Summon Submarine Frog in attack mode," (atk 1200) A green toad in a diver's suit and holding a red spear appeared infront of Harrison but a moment later both him and the Green Warrior were destroyed, PERIOD. And what's with this 'infront' I see there?

"Huh what happened?"

"I activated my Torrential Tribute trap card so all monsters on the field are destroyed!" Replied Brittany pointing to the now revealed trap card.

"Well that would explain it I play two face down cards and end my turn." Two face-down cards also appeared infront of Harrison. Ugh.

 

"Ok enough stalling my draw," Good a great hand now all I have to do is get Harrison to have a monster on his field, WHAT STALLING?! And why did you use italics for thoughts just a moment ago and then forget all about them?! Too much inconsistency!

"I activate Mystical Space Typhoon so now i destroy your face-down on my left." The card revealed itself and shot a small tornado to the face-down card.

"No not my Demise of the Land!" said Harrison.

"And thats just the start of it."

 

To Be Continued... Hopefully not if it'll be like this...

 

 

Seriously, I have no idea what I just read. All I remember is...

 

There was a boy dueling a girl who used a Jack's Knight with a random amount of Attack Points. The girl had a cloak and sandals, but apparently we were supposed to tell that she had red hair. Then she blew up (maybe) and Harrison fell off of a plank, only to wake up and run to class after 'apparently' seeing a dragon in a mirror. Then nobody was in the class. Then he ran after somebody, who was the girl from his dream, and apparently she was afraid/disgusted of him. She ran to a rock wall, which Harrison bumped into with his head, causing him to wake up again, meaning that everything earlier was only a dream (even the part about waking up) and has to duel a kid, who was really lazy and forgot that he has to duel in dueling school. After which Harrison meets a bee-yotch and duels her for a card for no reason.

 

WHAT THE HELL?! Why did I read this? I don't remember! Nothing cool happened! Well, I may have been able to tell if you had typed it up in a coherent fashion! Ugh! Please go consult somebody who has a degree in English before rewriting this thing.

[FrogNinga]

Ok my second chapter is up, tell me if theres anything wrong with it.

---

I will be sure to change things tommorow and make sure youve read the most up to date one weather report cause there are some mistakes in that report i swear i changed already but right now to bed with me.

[Mysty]

While you still need to work on spelling and grammar, you have made a good amount of changes, adding detail and a reason to randomly duel. As I said before, I see great potential in this fic. Punctuation, grammar, and spelling are the only big problems. Also, use commas, exclamation points, and question marks.

Of course, some details needed to be worked out, but, overall, you made great improvements. Keep up the good work.

Oh yeah, you might want to have me betaread your chapters first before you post them. I'll help you with your grammar if you send the chapters to me first.

[FrogNinga]

thanks MG

[Weather Report - Stand]

I do think that what Mystery Guest was saying is right; you do have some sort of plot kinda in there, but it's too hard to see through all the horrible grammar and stuff. If you could get a better grasp on English class, I'd actually say that it's interesting.

[FrogNinga]

Thanks WR-S I am in set 5 in my school in english its a little embarissing

[FrogNinga]

Ive made changes to the first two chapters.

[Weather Report - Stand]

Eh, well hearing that you're just in 5th grade (JUST?! Oh crap, you're ten!) kinda makes everything more acceptable. You DO have a good vision in here, however, as long as it doesn't go too mainstream and boring on us. So, um, yeah, good luck with the story. Ha, when I was in 5th grade, I was great at English, but my stories still were built off of nonsense... though they WERE about dudes named Squishy Guy, Other Guy and Bill Guy...

[FrogNinga]

Listen i said 5th set not grade im 13 and i live in england theres no such thing as grades just sets. Set 5 is the lowest

[Weather Report - Stand]

I really need to learn more about England. Stupid Americans! Sorry for any misunderstandings.

[FrogNinga]

It's fine why dont other people veiw this.

[Weather Report - Stand]

Maybe you should have changed the title when you added your second chapter, to say that chapter 2 was up?

[FrogNinga]

Maybe you should have changed the title when you added your second chapter' date=' to say that chapter 2 was up?

[/quote']

 

Oh yeah

[Weather Report - Stand]

Thumbs-up, yo yeah.

[Haou Devil 12]

This is my first time reading this. At first, when I saw the 1st chapter I thought, "how in the world did you get "Jack's Knight"(s) ATK to 7500?" Then I saw chapter and the duel was great. Anyways, good story you have here. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.

[Weather Report - Stand]

There's your proof, FrogNinga.

[Mysty]

This is my first time reading this. At first' date=' when I saw the 1st chapter I thought, [b']"how in the world did you get "Jack's Knight"(s) ATK to 7500?"[/b] Then I saw chapter and the duel was great. Anyways, good story you have here. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.

 

To be completely honest, I was thinking the same thing. Considering Jack's Knight had 1900 ATK, I chose the following cards to make an explanation:

2 Mage Power

2 Lightning Sword

1900 + 2000 + 2000 + 800 + 800 = 7500

 

That probably isn't what happened, but heck, why not theorize?

[Weather Report - Stand]

This is my first time reading this. At first' date=' when I saw the 1st chapter I thought, [b']"how in the world did you get "Jack's Knight"(s) ATK to 7500?"[/b] Then I saw chapter and the duel was great. Anyways, good story you have here. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.

 

To be completely honest, I was thinking the same thing. Considering Jack's Knight had 1900 ATK, I chose the following cards to make an explanation:

2 Mage Power

2 Lightning Sword

1900 + 2000 + 2000 + 800 + 800 = 7500

 

That probably isn't what happened, but heck, why not theorize?

 

Okay, now I think you're too hung up on that one sentence.