Need advice on wording a effect....

[J-Max]

Sorry to keep posting here like this but this effect is really Bugging me lol

 

Yubel - Female Incarnate

********

Fiend / Fusion / Effect

DARK

0/0

"Yubel" + 1 or more Fiend-Type monsters

This card can only be Fusion Summoned. This card cannot be destroyed by battle. Increase the ATK of this card by 1500 for each additional Fiend-Type monster used to Fusion Summon this card. As long as this card remains face-up on the field, your opponent must attack this card with all face-up monsters he/she controls if able. Increase your Life Points by 1000 each time this monster destroys a card in battle. When this card is destroyed you can Special Summon 1 "Yubel" from your Graveyard.

[.Nu-13]

"Yubel" + 1 or more Fiend-Type monsters

This card cannot be Special Summoned except by Fusion Summon. This card cannot be destroyed by battle. For each Fiend-Type Fusion Material Monster used to Fusion Summon this card, except "Yubel", increase this card's ATK by 1500. As long as this card remains face-up on the field, your opponent must attack this card with all face-up monsters they control. Increase your Life Points by 1000 each time this card destroys a monster by battle. When this card is destroyed, you can Special Summon 1 "Yubel" from your Graveyard.

[J-Max]

Thanks Mewtwo :) Do you have any Advice for the other effect? It's for the Thief King Bakura in my Tribute set.

[TechnoDoomedOne]

If this card is sent from your hand or Deck to the Graveyard, you can Special Summon this card from your Graveyard. The original ATK of this card is equal to the total number of cards in both players hands x 400. If this card inflicts Battle Damage to your opponent, you can look at your opponent's hand and add 1 card from their hand to your hand.

 

Good OCG! Almost perfect, just the 1st phrase that could be shortened just a bit.

[J-Max]

Cheers for that. Got another one :P

 

If this card is discarded from your hand or is sent rom your Deck to your Graveyard, you can Special Summon it. The original ATK of thid card is equal to the total number of cards in both players hands X 400. If this card inflicts battle damage to your opponent, you can look at your opponent's hand and add 1 card from their hand to your hand.

[Uchiha Sasuke XII]

Nothing major, but I fixed it. :D

 

"Yubel" + 1 or more Fiend-Type monsters

This card cannot be Special Summoned except by Fusion Summon. This card cannot be destroyed by battle. Increase the ATK of this card by 1500 for each Fiend-Type monster other than "Yubel" used to Fusion Summon this card. As long as this card remains face-up on the field, your opponent must attack this card with all face-up monsters he/she controls, if able. Increase your Life Points by 1000 each time this monster destroys a card in battle. When this card is destroyed, you can Special Summon 1 "Yubel" from your Graveyard.