Flinsbon Posted July 1, 2010 Report Share Posted July 1, 2010 I like this one... Chuck Norris has counted to infinity.Twice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flinsbon Posted July 1, 2010 Report Share Posted July 1, 2010 I like this one... Chuck Norris has counted to infinity.Twice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archbaron Larry Posted July 1, 2010 Report Share Posted July 1, 2010 Superman once watched an episode of "Walker: Texas Ranger" and cried himself to sleep.If you have $5, and Chuck Norris has $5, then Chuck Norris has more money than you. Those are my two faves :D Chuck Noris is epic. That is all I can say about him. EDIT: This should be moved to general. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archbaron Larry Posted July 1, 2010 Report Share Posted July 1, 2010 Superman once watched an episode of "Walker: Texas Ranger" and cried himself to sleep.If you have $5, and Chuck Norris has $5, then Chuck Norris has more money than you. Those are my two faves :D Chuck Noris is epic. That is all I can say about him. EDIT: This should be moved to general. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archbaron Larry Posted July 1, 2010 Report Share Posted July 1, 2010 Superman once watched an episode of "Walker: Texas Ranger" and cried himself to sleep.If you have $5, and Chuck Norris has $5, then Chuck Norris has more money than you. Those are my two faves :D Chuck Noris is epic. That is all I can say about him. EDIT: This should be moved to general. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Random Dude Posted July 1, 2010 Report Share Posted July 1, 2010 Once, Chuck Norris fueled a semi-trailer with his jizz, the semi is now known as Optimus Prime. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Random Dude Posted July 1, 2010 Report Share Posted July 1, 2010 Once, Chuck Norris fueled a semi-trailer with his jizz, the semi is now known as Optimus Prime. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.T.B. Posted July 1, 2010 Report Share Posted July 1, 2010 LOL, he counted to infinity twice. And, created Prime. XDThe Prime one made me LOL the most. Blueyoshi, thoes were some good ones. I chuckled at em'.Man there are some funny ones! XD General? No, Chuck Norris outgrew that a Century ago... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.T.B. Posted July 1, 2010 Report Share Posted July 1, 2010 LOL, he counted to infinity twice. And, created Prime. XDThe Prime one made me LOL the most. Blueyoshi, thoes were some good ones. I chuckled at em'.Man there are some funny ones! XD General? No, Chuck Norris outgrew that a Century ago... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Random Dude Posted July 1, 2010 Report Share Posted July 1, 2010 Chuck Norris died years ago, death just doesn't have the guts to tell him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Random Dude Posted July 1, 2010 Report Share Posted July 1, 2010 Chuck Norris died years ago, death just doesn't have the guts to tell him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archbaron Larry Posted July 2, 2010 Report Share Posted July 2, 2010 Chuck Norris died years ago' date=' death just doesn't have the guts to tell him.[/quote'] I thought it was the grim reaper that didn't have the guts to tell him... Anyway, here's an awesome site for these jokes.http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.T.B. Posted July 2, 2010 Report Share Posted July 2, 2010 LOL, Epic Awsomesauce. I got to check it out! I'm in a laughing mood...thanks for the link! ^o^Now I can laugh my rear of with Chuck Norris sayings... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Random Dude Posted July 2, 2010 Report Share Posted July 2, 2010 James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.from site I ROFLd. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.T.B. Posted July 3, 2010 Report Share Posted July 3, 2010 LOL, good one. Here is one for another movie fact that I thought was good. The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron’s rear halfway through the first chapter. This one gave me a good chuckle. ^o^ Chuck Norris has to register every part of his body as a separate lethal weapon. His spleen is considered a concealed weapon in over 50 states. XD Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes. Chuck Norris is a vegetarian. Meaning, he does not eat animals until first he puts them into vegetative state with his fists. LOL, those are some of the ones I came across and laughed at. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Random Dude Posted July 3, 2010 Report Share Posted July 3, 2010 Chuck Norris needs a concealed weapon license in every state in order to legally wear pants. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.T.B. Posted July 3, 2010 Report Share Posted July 3, 2010 XDThat's true, not to mention his trademarked hat... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grunt Issun Posted July 4, 2010 Report Share Posted July 4, 2010 How do you win a race with your car in nuetral?You get chuck norris to push itthats my own Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.T.B. Posted July 5, 2010 Report Share Posted July 5, 2010 How do you win a race with your car in nuetral?You get chuck norris to push itthats my own XDMan you're good. Good one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grunt Issun Posted July 5, 2010 Report Share Posted July 5, 2010 Thanks, I thought of it when I got home from a long camping trip, and for some reason thought of it when someone said that the car was in nuetral, not a very exileratinh story but... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.T.B. Posted July 5, 2010 Report Share Posted July 5, 2010 NP. Interesting story, what I can tell from you is. You are a very funny person to being with. Soooo, you can come up with funny stuff out of nothing. xDThen again, I can, 'exaggerate', alot... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~Riku~ Posted July 8, 2010 Report Share Posted July 8, 2010 Chuck Norris once got into a fight with a one-armed Ninja. Seeing that he had an unfair advantage, Chuck Norris ripped both of his arms off … … and one of his legs. He then roundhouse-kicked the ninja in the head, killing him instantly, and proceeded to sow his limbs back on using only a rusty tent spike and bailing wire. Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YuugiCM Posted July 8, 2010 Report Share Posted July 8, 2010 I love this one Chuck norris sucks, twice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarlinFan Posted July 9, 2010 Report Share Posted July 9, 2010 Chuck Norris doesn't mow the lawn. He just looks at the grass and dares it to grow. A long, long time ago, there was nothing. Then Chuck Norris round-house kicked that nothing in the face and told it to get a job. One time, Chuck Norris took a trip to the Virgin Islands. When he went home, they were just the Islands. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rhstanley3 Posted July 10, 2010 Report Share Posted July 10, 2010 Ok, this is going to be an epic post. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door Chuck Norris doesn't read books, he stares them down until he get's the information he wants. Chuck Norris once won a poker tournament with a 2, a joker, an uno card, and a get out of jail free card from a monopoly set. Chuck Norris is the only human alive who can punch you in the back of the face. The origin of diamonds was unknown until someone went to Chuck Norris' house and he had forgotten to flush the toilet. If you misspell Chuck Norris' name in the google search engine, instead of correcting you, it says "Run while you still can." (just a joke, not really) Super man wears Chuck Norris pijama's Why is the universe constantly expanding? It is trying to get farther away from chuck norris. The first Aliens vs. Predator movie was originally supposed to be Aliens vs. Predator vs. Chuck Norris, but they soon realized that no one would pay 10 bucks to watch an 8 second movie. Chuck Norris sleeps with a nightlight. Not because Chuck Norris is scared of the dark, but because the dark is scared of Chuck Norris. The only reason Chuck Norris keeps Jackie Chan alive is because he likes Chris Tucker movies. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he never cries. Chuck Norris doesn't have a chin, only a third fist. They had originally made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it quickly failed. The main reason was because it wouldn't take sh't from anybody. Chuck Norris doesn't believe in the periodic table of elements, mainly because he only believes in the element of surprise. Chuck Norris doesn't hunt. The word hunt implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, then you might be seconds away from a roundhouse kick to the face. Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement. Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there. A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a damned Indian. In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs. The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed misserably. Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the hell down. The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse actually live in Chuck Norris's nutsack. When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion, one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the but, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face. Chuck Norris' iPod came with a real charger instead of just a USB cord China was once bordering the United States, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked it all the way through the Earth. Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn't Jesus’ birthday. Jesus was to scared to correct Chuck Norris and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus' birthday. Chuck Norris once kicked a baby elephant into puberty Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Chuck Norris. Chuck showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself, because it would be the less painful way to die. Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer. Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped with a roundhouse kick to the face. Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own. Chuck Norris' evil twin brother, Richard Simmons, once approached Chuck with the hope of reconciliation, but at the sight of Richard's curly, well kept hair, Chuck Norris became so enraged that he turned green with hate and ripped Richard Simmons arms and legs off. This action was the origin of the Marvel Comic badass, The Incredible Hulk. If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats transformer toys in vehicle mode and poos them out transformed into a robot. Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don’t be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat. Go to google and type in "Find Chuck Norris" and click I'm Feeling Lucky. (I'm not even joking, do this.) i ran out of time, if you want, i'll post more later xD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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