Weather Report - Stand Posted July 20, 2010 Report Share Posted July 20, 2010 I sensed some grammar and description issues around the fourth chapter, but otherwise, it was alright. I'm hoping that the last fight can be more epic, so as to wrap up the short story arc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Chaos Sonic Posted July 20, 2010 Author Report Share Posted July 20, 2010 Thanks. Well you don't have to worry about waiting for chapter 5...because I just finished it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weather Report - Stand Posted July 20, 2010 Report Share Posted July 20, 2010 Hmm... it was alright... but you should focus more on stretching out bouts. I like how you made Meta-Knight abuse the field, and I also enjoy the Galactica Knight reference, but the tie-match thing is overdone in stories. If you're gonna have a tie, then overplay it! Have everybody gasping for air and covered in scars! Drag them down to the lowest bit of energy they've got, and THEN have them collide for massive damage! Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!! But yeah, it was alright as earlier. Just focus on making the fights good, and develop the characters. That's all I can say right now. Damn, I keep repeating myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Chaos Sonic Posted July 20, 2010 Author Report Share Posted July 20, 2010 Alright thanks. I'll do my best to stretch out the bouts and develop the characters more. *scratches head and smiles nervously* Sorry about making you repeat yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weather Report - Stand Posted July 20, 2010 Report Share Posted July 20, 2010 It's okay. It's only my own fault for repeating myself for repeating myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Chaos Sonic Posted July 20, 2010 Author Report Share Posted July 20, 2010 Yeah..but still I apologize. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Chaos Sonic Posted July 22, 2010 Author Report Share Posted July 22, 2010 Chapter 6 is now up! ^^ I added a new player into this game....*insert sarcasm* wonder who it is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weather Report - Stand Posted July 22, 2010 Report Share Posted July 22, 2010 I see that the game is becoming 'serious business' in this world. Shouldn't this mean Evan's popular, as well? And what was it about that one battle which was so much better than the others out there? Just wondering, but that chapter was alright. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Chaos Sonic Posted July 22, 2010 Author Report Share Posted July 22, 2010 Well Evan is already popular. That boosted his fame a little bit, but not a lot. But I'm glad you liked the chapter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.:Abarai Renji:. Posted July 22, 2010 Report Share Posted July 22, 2010 Awesome new Chapters, Matt. ^^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Chaos Sonic Posted July 22, 2010 Author Report Share Posted July 22, 2010 *Takes a bow* Thank you, thank you. I'm glad you liked it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Chaos Sonic Posted July 25, 2010 Author Report Share Posted July 25, 2010 Chapter 7 is now up. Time to reveal the mysterious character from Chapter 6. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weather Report - Stand Posted July 26, 2010 Report Share Posted July 26, 2010 Hmm... It seems as if Shadow-kid wants those Chaos Emeralds in order to compliment his own power... the only way I could guess it would be used for a big plotline is that he's trying to overpower the simulation and break into the internet, wiring huge sums of moneys from large corporations into dummy bank accounts, where he can have lackeys withdraw it and get it for him. Just a prediction, and where I'd be taking teh story if I were the author, but you already have plans. Try to make it important in the real world, however it leads itself! And try not to veer into a tournament arc for a while! DON'T RISK IT!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Chaos Sonic Posted July 29, 2010 Author Report Share Posted July 29, 2010 Hmmm, those are some good ideas WRS. And don't worry, I won't go into a tournament.....not yet anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Chaos Sonic Posted July 31, 2010 Author Report Share Posted July 31, 2010 Chapter 8 has come up. Not really any fighting in this one...think of it as a filler. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Chaos Sonic Posted August 2, 2010 Author Report Share Posted August 2, 2010 BUMP Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Chaos Sonic Posted August 3, 2010 Author Report Share Posted August 3, 2010 BUMP Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weather Report - Stand Posted August 4, 2010 Report Share Posted August 4, 2010 Hmm, the eighth chapter is alright. I'm severely confused, though, as you lost a LOT of the realism you had before. He went to the hospital from losing a virtual reality game? How? I mean... isn't it VIRTUAL?! How come it's legal? I DON'T GET IT!!?! Also, losing eight times on something isn't THAT extreme as to be an example of 'KEEP ON TRUCKIN' for the boy. That's not major in any way, but somehow it bothers me... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Chaos Sonic Posted August 4, 2010 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2010 Yeah, this chapter...I had the dreaded writers block. -Sigh- Yeah..it hit me pretty hard. Hopefully I won't have it for the next few chapters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Chaos Sonic Posted August 8, 2010 Author Report Share Posted August 8, 2010 BUMP Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duel tester Posted August 10, 2010 Report Share Posted August 10, 2010 wow i'm surprised that this fan-fic got so far in chapters!!!! and a really good job on the story! i hope to see more friends and rivals helping matt hawk bet the evil Xenro.and more V.I.Ps!!! from games such as halo,devil may cry, pokemon naruto dragonball z star wars you name it!!!!the skys the limit!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Chaos Sonic Posted August 10, 2010 Author Report Share Posted August 10, 2010 I'm glad your enjoying this fic, Duel Tester. As for V.I.Ps I was planing on using characters from others games...just not sure which ones yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Chaos Sonic Posted August 14, 2010 Author Report Share Posted August 14, 2010 BUMP Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Chaos Sonic Posted August 23, 2010 Author Report Share Posted August 23, 2010 BUMP Sorry for not posting the newest chapter, been very busy. Will try to post it sooner or later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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