~Broken Destiny~(PG-16) (Ep. 5) (Yu-Gi-Oh! FANFIC)

[psychicplayer]

[spoiler=1: Reving and Revealing]

In Neo Domino City, Tay Williams was walking along the streets of his favorite strip mall. His tutor Yusei Fudo, sent him a package. He told him it was at "Bud's Bumpers" Duel Runner Shop. He entered the door of the shop. A bell sounded off as he entered. The owner, Bud Burling greeted Tay with a friendly hello.

"I got your package Tay."

Tay looked around and saw no box where the package may be. He raised one eyebrow. Bud laughed.

"It's out back."

He motioned Tay to come to the door that led to the back garage. When the door opened Tay's eyes widened. Sitting there was a bright shining, crimson red, Duel Runner. Tay stroked his hand over the Runner.

"Mr. Fudo always told me about his Runner. He entered it in several tournemants, and won several duels with it."

Tay wheeled it out of the garage, and took it for a spin around the city. On his way home, another Duel Runner rammed into him. It was black, and had several orange symbols on it. Tay almost fell off his Runner, until he adjusted his balance.

"Hahahaha! You pathetic Signer. You have no idea what's going on, and yet the war will start soon."

Tay was still trying to keep balance, so he was only able to make out the words "Signer... War will start..." Tay got really confused.

"What are you talking about?"

Tay caught a glimpse of the strange person. He was light blue haired, and had a red mark on his right eye going down his face.

"Wait a minute. I know you! You're Keith! What's going on Keith? What are you doing?!"

All of a sudden, and person on a D-Board came onto the road with them. It was a girl. Looking like she was 11-13.

"You're not doing anything Keith! Or should I say Ccapac Apu!"

The mysterious person laughed again.

"You've got to stop following me around Luru. You're just gonna have to go to the depths of the Netherworld!"

Tay suddenly remembered something Yusei said.

"The Dark Signers would stop at nothing to send the Signers to the Netherworld."

Tay then related that to the situation.

"Keith? You're a Dark Signer!"

"Hahahaha! It took you long enough Tay."

The girl on the D-board called out to him.

"Tay you have to stay alert! We're going to have to duel him."

Then the girl pressed the button on her Duel Disk. Tay shook the shock away from him for a second, and was ready to duel. They said simaltaniously,

"Riding Duel! Acceleration!"

All of a sudden the road forced the group into another lane. All of a sudden, a purple geoglph flame surrounded them. Tay looked around confused. His tutor never told him about this.

Tay called out,

"I'll go first! Draw!"

Luru SP:1

Keith SP:1

Tay SP:1

"By discarding Quilbolt Hedgehog from my hand, I can Special Summon Quickdraw Synchron from my hand. Next I can Special Summon Quilbolt Hedgehog from my Graveyard. Now I Summon Tuningware from my hand.

Now I'm tuning my Quickdraw with Quilbolt Hedgehog, and Tuningware to Synchro Summon Road Warrior! I draw a card because of Tuningware! I set 2 cards facedown, and end my turn."

Keith laughed.

"You're going to have to do better than that Signer! My move! Draw."

Luru SP:2

Keith SP:2

Tay SP:2

"I Summon Infernity Archfiend in attack mode. Now I set 2 cards facedown. You know Signer, Keith isn't here anymore. I'm sending you to the Netherworld!"

"My turn! Draw!"

Luru SP:3

Keith SP: 3

Tay SP: 3

"I summon Morphtronic Scopen! Now I activate Morphtronic Scopen's Special ability! I Special Summon 1 level 4 Morphtronic monster from my hand. I Special Summon Morphtonic Radion! Now I tune my Scopen with my Radion to Synchro Summon Powertool Dragon!"

Keith said,

"What good is that Dragon? You can't play Equip cards because of Speed World 2!"

"Oh yes I can!"

"What!?"

"I activate the Speed Spell- Coat of Arms! This lets me play equip cards in a Turbo Duel! Now I activate Powertool Dragon's Special ability which lets me add one Equip Spell from my hand! And it is... (gasp!) 5000 Year Release..."

Tay looked over. He just saw Luru staring at the card in her hand.

"I activate 5000 Year Release and equip it to Powertool Dragon."

All of a sudden, the dragon's drill, and shovel dissapeared. Then it's metal armor began to dissapear, and reveal a dragon with no armor. On the screen in her helmet, the name "Gladiator Dragon" appeared. On the screen in the helemet, the effect was listed.

"Okay, I activate Gladiator Dragon's Special ability! I get to add one equip spell from my Deck to my hand, since I only have to choose one. I choose Mage Power! Now I equip it to Power Tool Dragon. So now, he's at 5800 ATK! Now I attack Your Infernity monster and win this duel!"

"Activate Trap! Waboku!"

"Fine, then I set a facedown, and end my turn!"

Keith went next.

"My turn, Draw! Hahahaha! I activate the card, Limit Impulse! And now I discard 2 cards, to summon 2 tokens to my field, and I'll tribute them while I'm at it. Prepare to witness the Netherworld! I summon-"

"Tay!"

Luru called.

"We've got to quit the duel."

Luru pressed a button and her D-Board and it stopped.

"Why?"

"End it now, lives are at stake!"

Tay pressed a button on his Duel Runner, and it came to a hault. Keith frowned in dissapointment.

"Awww... that's too bad, I wanted to get some souls."

The two, then rode off on their vehicles and took refuge in a nearby park.Tay asked Luru,

"Why'd you end the duel? We didn't even make a scratch on him. Could you also tell me why my best friend is a Dark Signer?!

 

 

[spoiler= 2: Warring Marks]

"It was all by accident. He died in a Shadow Duel and was turned into a Dark Signer because he was the son of another Dark Signer. But he's not the Keith you know."

Tay grabbed onto one of the jungle-gyms thinking it over.

"So he's just a puppet, and someone else is pulling the strings... But that still doesn't explain why you called off the duel."

Luru sat on the park's tire swing.

"Well the monster that Keith or... I'll just call him Ccapac Apu since he's gone now. Anyway, the monster he was summoning was a real monster. I mean a REAL monster. If that thing was summoned, people would have been absorbed by it. That was an Earthbound Immortal. Monsters like that take away the souls of the living. Luckily, we ended the duel before the Immortal was summoned."

"So all we have to do is beat him and he should come back to life. Right?"

"Right. But right now we need to find the other 3 Signers, or we don't have a chance."

"Okay, but who do we go to first?"

Luru smirked.

"Well I don't know where the other Signers are, but I do know someone who does. Here, take my hand."

Tay looked at her confused.

"Um... O-OK."

Luru closed her eyes for a moment. Then all that Tay saw was a bright light. He began to yell.

"WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!"

When the bright light cleared, Tay looked around to see a town of some sorts. This seemed like the town that he read in his history book. Town's like that were around in 2010. But some parts of the town looked ancient, like they dated back to 1896. But he'd debate about arcitecture later.

"Tay, I'd like you to meet the Spirit World!"

"W-what? How can you...? What? How?!"

"In the blood-line. Coutesy of my aunt."

Tay said sarcastically,

"Oh, what next? I suppose your psychic too? Hahaha!"

"Yes."

Tay stopped laughing.

"Well then. We have the triple-threat here. Psychic, Spirit World Traveler, and Future Savior. Anyway, where is this 'help'?"

Luru pointed over into one direction

"There."

Tay looked over, and widened his eyes.

"What the ____!"

"Sheesh Tay, it's just a duel spirit. Shut your mouth."

The two approached the Duel Spirit.

"Umm... Mr. Cyber Archer Sir. Could we ask you something?"

"Anything for you Luru."

Tay pointed out the sound of the spirit's voice.

"Your voice sounds like one of those movies on my great grandpa's CDs. What was is called? Transformers was it?"

"Your great grandpa has a CD? Wow, he IS old. Enough of that though. Mr. Cyber Archer, could you tell us where your duelist is in our world?"

"Of course. He's a block down from Tay's house actually. He lives in the red house with a white roof. He's usually chewing some gum.

"Hmm... I think I know who that is..."

Luru waved at the spirit.

"Thank you!"

Luru grabbed onto Tay's arm, and closed her eyes. They instantly beamed out and transported to earth.

 

 

[spoiler=3: Cora Uccello]

The two were instantly in front of the house the Duel Spirit said his master was in. Tay covered his face.

"Oh crap!"

"What is it Tay?"

"Oh God, Oh God, Oh God! WHY?! And he's a-... WOW! Of course this had to be him! NOOOOooooOOOOooooOOO!!!"

"EARTH TO TAY! What are you so worked up about?!"

"This is Cora's house! No-o-o-o!"

"Who's Cora?"

"He always wants to duel. In this situation with the Dark Signers, he'll get himself killed before the first draw. His temper slash ego will make him charge right into battle!"

"So? Ccapac Apu went against the head Dark Signer's orders and hunted you down. We should have guy like him around."

Tay was still skeptical about all of this. They approached the house and knocked on the door. Immeadiately, the door flew open revealing Cora. Just like the Duel Spirit said he would, he was chewing gum.

"Yes? Oh Tay! Hi. Did you come here to duel?"

"No. WE came to tell you something."

When the group got settled into the living room, Tay whispered to Luru,

"Betcha 5 dollars he'll charge out to face a... arkDe ignerSe."

"Oh you're so on."

----------Later-------------------------------------------------------

"OK then! Let's go kick some Dark Signer ass!!"

Cora charges out the door without a moment for anyone to speak.

"Pay up Luru."

Luru reached in her pocket, and pulled out 5 dollars and hesitantly handed it over. After a couple of seconds of alone time, Cora came back and realized that they needed to go get more Signers or they would be toast. So they needed a way to get the next two to come fast. So they went over several ideas. Cora through a random idea.

"Just spit-ballin' here, but we could have a birthmark contest. Whoever has the wierdest or Signer-est ones win!"

Tay widened his eyes in shock.

"What the ____!"

"Okokokok! Sheesh! It was just an idea!"

Luru pondered over the idea.

"Wait a minute. That gives me another idea... A birthmark dueling tournement. Everyone with unusual birthmarks duel, and the best, well must be Signers!"

Tay and Cora loved the idea, and best of all, they could be a part of it too. The tournement was called...

THE MARKS OF DESTINY

 

-----------------Next on ~Broken Destiny~---------------------------

"Come on Cora, where will the tournement be?"

"Hold on, we'll get there.... Ok... Open your eyes NOW!!"

Simultaniously.

"Wha-"

"I know right?! It's awesome!!"

"Okay, now for the contestants."

The contestants come in.

"Wow just because I have a claw on my arm makes me eligable? What a World!"

"I know. I have a claw too, but I never thought I'd get in like this. Hogan always said 'A duelist is measured by skill!' I don't think birthmarks are skill."

--------------Later----------

"Oh man... What's your name? Odette? Your good.

 

 

[spoiler=4: THE MARKS OF DESTINY]

"Come on Cora, where will the tournement be?"

Luru and Tay were walking around New Domino City looking for any potential places where Cora said the tournement would be.

"Hold on, we'll get there. Ok... open your eyes... NOW!"

Luru and Tay looked at the place and didn't know what to say but a simultanious,

"Wha-"

"I know it's awesome right?"

"Awesome? It's perfect Luru. It's a whole flippin' stadium!"

Luru nodded and opened the door to the Staduim. It was a huge arena with 2 different duel fields.

"Where'd you get permission to use this place Cora?"

Cora was really pleased with the job he did.

"Well... It wasn't easy, but you, this duel field is actually a free tourney duel field. See? I didn't need to pay a cent. If admission is free, then the rent of this place is free."

Luru and Tay approached the duel fields, and looked around. Tay noticed a big lever in the corner of one duel field. He walked up to the lever and gave it a pull. A small rumbling occured. All of a sudden, to the two Duel fields move apart from the other. Then, tubes of a hard glass with openings at the top moved out of the area where the fields opened up. It appeared to be a turbo duel field.

"Awesome! Now we can Turbo Duel in the Tourney."

"No. Using the Turbo Duel field costs 150 dollars. So no Turbo Duels!"

Luru shrugged.

"As long as we have a tournement, then we're fine. Now for the contestants."

A few minutes after the 3 set up the decorations for the tournement, the contestants began flooding in. The first one was Blake Hawkins.

"Wow just because I have a claw on my arm makes me eligable? What a World!"

A group behind him contained another person. His name was Jian Kimura. Also in the group was Zack Yuki, and Odette Hanekoma. Rufus Mercusjoined up with Odette even though he didn't have a birthmark. He wouldn't let Odette enter alone, so the 3 let him in. Jian responded to Blake's comment.

"I know. I have a claw too, but I never thought I'd get in like this. Hogan always said 'A duelist is measured by skill!' I don't think birthmarks are skill."

With all the duelists they could find in the Stadium, the tournement began. Each duelists' photo was on a giant T.V. screen which randomly matched them all duelists with there opponent. Luru announced the first round's duelists.

"First up is Odette Hanekoma and Jian Kimura!"

The audience that showed up was cheering at the first round.

The first round began.

"I'll let the lady go first."

"Hehe... It's your choice. Fine.

"Duel!"

"Duel!"

"My move! Draw! ... I summon Bubble Headed Nurse in Attack Mode!"

Instantly a creepy faceless nurse appeared in a dress.

"Next I set 3 cards face-down and end my turn."

"I'll have a go at it now! Draw! I summon Blackwing- Sirrico the Dawn in Attack mode."

A bird with a human-like body appeared.

"Next I special summon Blackwing- Gale the Whirlwind, and Blackwing- Bora the Spear. Now I activate Double Summon! Next I summon Blackwing- Blizzard the Far North! Now I Double Synchro Summoning!"

Gale and Blizzard jumped into the air and turned into 3 circles. Then Bora and Sirrico jumped right into the circles.

"Birds of a feather flock together! Darkness and air combine to bring the feathers and shadows to this world! Double Synchro Summon! Black Winged Dragon and Blackwing- Armor Master!"

In the circles where the other monsters were were filled with light. Later the light dissappeared to reveal two synchro monsters. One, a dragon, another, was a human like man-bird. The two monsters stood there with furosity.

"Now Blackwing- Armor Master, attack her Bubble Headed Nurse."

Then the man-bird poised into attack and then charged over to the nurse. The nurse began to show a cowering pose.

"But first, your monster loses 400 ATK points from Bubble-Headed Nurse's effect. Then I'll activate my Trap! Draining Sheild!"

The attack of the man-bird was deflected instantly. Then Odette's Life points increased.

Odette: 6100

Jian: 4000

"Grrrr... Fine! Black Winged Dragon, ATTACK!"

Then the dragon like creature attacked with a giant crimson fire blast.

"Hold on! I activate Shrink!"

The dragon then shrinked ti the size of a small child.

"Wait! Since technically he's a Blackwing monster, I can activate Blackwing- Kalut the Moonshadow's effect! Now destroy that nurse Black Winged Dragon!"

Once the blast of crimson fire hit the nurse, she was destroyed.

Odette:5700

Jian:4000

"Now just 5700 more Life Points to go, and I'll enjoy every second of ripping them apart. One by one! I set 3 face-downs and end."

"My move, Draw! Perfect! I activate Pot of Greed! Now I activate Jar of Greed! Now I use 2 Double Summon! Now for a Star Blast! I decrease 2 levels and pay 1000 Life Points! Now I summon 2 monsters! Gemini Magicians, Rai Teddy, and now for Alice with a star blast on her! I sacrifice Gemini Magicians!"

Right there, 2 different monsters. A creepy teddy bear and a girl in a blue dress.

"Now I Synchro Summon Light End Dra-"

Odette twitched her head. Then she began to talk in a more deep and cruel voice.

"I Synchro Summon DARK END DRAGON!!"

Then Alice jumped into the circle Rai Teddy made with its body. Then the circle turned into a giant dragon. Once it was out on the field it let out a giant roar.

"Now attack Dark End Dragon! Shadow Destruction!"

The dragon then charged into Black Winged Dragon.

"Now I activate a new card I got from a card pack. Cannon Laser of Destruction! Now I destroy Dark End Dragon and inflict damage to both of us equal to his attack, but I can put a Black Feather counter on Black Winged Dragon to negate the damage!"

Odette: 3100

Jian: 4000

"Errrrr! Fine then! I set one card face-down and finish the turn!"

"Oh man... What's your name? Odette you're pretty good! But not good enough! Draw! ... Armor Master, attack her directly!"

The monster put its fist out and hit Odette right in the stomach.

"EEEERRRRGGGHHH!!!"

Odette:1000

Jian: 4000

"Now finish it Black Winged Dragon!"

"Hold it! Activate Trap!!"

 

 

[spoiler= 5: The 5 Signs]

"Huh?"

"Mirror Force!"

"Sorry! That trap isn't working! I activate Dark Bribe. You get to draw a card, but I don't think that'll save you."

The dragon then continued its attack. It breathed out crimson fire and ended the Duel. Tay grabbed the microphone and began to yell.

"Whoa! In a quick change of events, Jian WINS! Now please exit the stage duelists and say hello to our next challengers. Lucas Maximus and Blake Hawkins!"

The two challengers walked up to the event stage. Lucas walked up waving and making peace signs and saying "TO THE MAX!!" Blake walked up and waved too, but not as much as Lucas.

"Okay, let's do this TO THE MAX!!"

"O-okay... to the max?"

"DUEL!!"

"I'll go first if it's all right with you Lucas."

"Fine."

"Draw!"

Blake drew one card and looked at his hand. He nodded like he knew what he was going to do.

"Okay, I summon Twilight Rose Knight in attack position."

The Knight appeared on the field ready to attack.

"Okay, now I use Rose Knight's special ability to summon Lord of Poison! Now I synchro summon! Let the beauty of the flower turn into the furosity of thorns! I Synchro Summon Black Rose Dragon!!"

In the light of the Synchro Summon, the beast appeared. Back in the MC area, Cora, Luru, and Tay's marks began to glow. Tay looked down at duel field and saw Black Rose Dragon.

"So the 5th is revealed..."

"Next I set 2 facedowns. Now I activate Black Garden!"

Suddenly, the whole Duel Field turned into a garden. Between the two duelists was a statue. It was covered in vines and had a small angel on it.

"Now I end my turn."

"Okay! My turn TO THE MAX! DRAW TO THE MAX!"

"You know, what's to the max about drawing?"

"I just feel like it! Anyway... I summon Mokey Mokey TO... THE... MAAAAAAAAXXXX!!!"

"STOP IT! IT'S NOT NEEDED! JUST STOP! Anyway, I get a Rose Token."

"Okay okay... now I set two facedowns and end my turn."

"Um... okay... I draw! Now I summon Jerrybeans Man! Unfortunately his ATK is halved but, My true attacker is ready to go! Oh, and you get a Rose Token..."

The Bean Soldier was shackled by the vines of the garden.

"Now I activate Changing Roses! Now I change Black Rose Dragon into Pollen Rose Dragon!"

The fierce dragon then began exerting yellow dots. Then it's leaves were drenched in pollen.

"Now I activate Pollen Rose's ability which lets me remove 1 plant-type from my Graveyard to gain Life Points equal to it's ATK. I remove Lord of Poison and gain 1500 Life Points. There is a drawback though... I cannot draw my next turn."

Blake: 5500

Lucas: 4000

"I attack with Pollen Rose. Go! Destroy his pathetic Angel! Pollenated Fire!"

The angel let out a scream and began running around the Duel Field. It dodged the first braeth, but the Dragon kept spitting fire.

"Run Mokey Mokey run!!"

All of a sudden, One of the fire blasts made contact, and destroyed the fairy monster. It let out a scream of terror.

Blake: 5500

Lucas: 1750

"Errrggghh!! Well this just got harder TO THE M-"

"You better not say MAX!!!!!!"

"MAX!"

"GRRRRRR!!!!!!!"

 

 

[xXJianXx]

Wow... Dont know why nobody had commented yet...

 

Anyways... good job ^^ I ll only make 1 suggestion to you.... dont make it that spontaneous... oh,ya! and remember that readers like more when the protagonists have a challenge, like NOT having cards that can summon a Synchro so.... coincidencial xD (E.j. 5000 Years Release) ^^

 

See ya =D

[psychicplayer]

Episode 2 UP. and I won't be putting more card pics up unless i have time.

[psychicplayer]

BUMP

[xXJianXx]

Wow xD... everything´s going so quickly XDD. Good Chapter ^^

[psychicplayer]

thanks

[έκλειψη]

Yeah, things went suspiciously well for the protagonist, who didn't appear to have set up an OTK deck.

[psychicplayer]

Well he has other cards that are YCM ones, but I can't download the pics for them for some reason. They'rrrrrrrrrrrrre GREAT!

[psychicplayer]

BUMP

UMP

MP

P

[duel tester]

i can't wait to see the next chapter

good job!!!

[legolover09]

I'm sorry to tell you, but this is worthy to be on foe fiction. From what I know that is. So maybe it is amazing and I can't tell. (But it probably is as bad as I think) Except Crab does episode one, and not duels. Perhaps Phantom Roxas will review it.

[Phantom Roxas]

Perhaps Phantom Roxas will review it.

 

I might. Mind if I do as such?

[psychicplayer]

sure. and i know some of these are unusually short, but I just wanted the story to get started as fast as I could. now that that's done, the BIG duels will be starting (as shown in the preview of episode 4). So if the review isn't good, I'll be putting the good duels up just in case that's part of the review. But anyway...

(crosses fingers...)

[Phantom Roxas]

Weather Reports, Foe Fiction. These are what have shown us the writing capability of YCM. That is, very little at all. Do we need more proof of this? Yes, because these are Phantom's Divinations.

 

 

 

Fortunately, we do not have to deal with Chapter Plot or anything like that. Unfortunately, psychicplayer decided to create Thread Character Submissions with Chapter Plot included there. As we clearly have the makings of an intelligent story, let's begin.

 

In Neo Domino City, Tay Williams was walking along the streets of his favorite strip mall.

 

After skimming through the story, I noticed that that's the closest the word "Tay" and a comma ever get in this story.

 

His tutor Yusei Fudo, sent him a package. He told him it was at "Bud's Bumpers" Duel Runner Shop.

 

That's not exactly sending someone a package, or at least in a smart way. If Tay's going to get a package, why couldn't Yusei just send it to him instead of sending it to a D-Wheel Duel Runner shop and making Tay go pick it up? It's really not that hard to do.

 

He entered the door of the shop. A bell sounded off as he entered. The owner, Bud Burling, greeted Tay with a friendly hello.

"I got your package Tay."

Tay looked around and saw no box where the package may be. He raised one eyebrow. Bud laughed.

 

I always laugh when people raise an eyebrow because they can't find what they're supposed to pick up from me.

 

"It's out back."

He motioned Tay to come to the door that led to the back garage. When the door opened Tay's eyes widened. Sitting there was a bright shining, crimson red, Duel Runner. Tay stroked his hand over the Runner.

"Mr. Fudo always told me about his Runner. He entered it in several tournemants, and won several duels with it."

Tay wheeled it out of the garage, and took it for a spin around the city.

 

Wait, what just happened? One second we were in the garage, the next we're in a city! You don't just transition like that without a line break!

 

On his way home, another Duel Runner rammed into him. It was black, and had several orange symbols on it. Tay almost fell off his Runner, until he adjusted his balance.

 

I always suspected Crow was a organizer of spontaneous crashes.

 

"Hahahaha! You pathetic Signer. You have no idea what's going on, and yet the war will start soon."

 

Guess what, we still haven't reach a line break. In just two sentences, Tay has taken his D-Wheel, raced around the city in it, and now has crashed into someone who immediately declares the plot while hamfistedly revealing Tay's status as a Signer that wasn't so much as alluded to-Oh wait, this is a 5D's fic.

 

This sentence only exists to show how transitions can be done.

 

Tay was still trying to keep balance, so he was only able to make out the words "Signer... War will start..." Tay got really confused.

"What are you talking about?"

Tay caught a glimpse of the strange person. He was light blue haired, and had a red mark on his right eye going down his face.

 

Kiryu, is that you?

 

"Wait a minute. I know you! You're Keith! What's going on Keith? What are you doing?!"

 

Wait wait wait wait. Wait. No. That's astonishingly lazy. Granted, I really can't blame psychicplayer for this at all, as apparently boss4057 is responsible for Tay and Keith's very existence. psychicplayer is only to blame for accepting his entries.

 

All of a sudden, and person on a D-Board came onto the road with them. It was a girl. Looking like she was 11-13.

 

Is it that hard to write "It was a girl, looking about eleven or thirteen"?

 

"You're not doing anything Keith! Or should I say Ccapac Apu!"

 

What's the point of revealing that his name is Keith when we don't know who he is except for the fact that Thread Characters states he's Kiryu's son and then immediately having someone randomly show up and declare that he's Ccapac Apu?

 

The mysterious person laughed again.

"You've got to stop following me around Luru. You're just gonna have to go to the depths of the Netherworld!"

 

For those who did not read Thread Characters, Luru is psychicplayer's character, and coupled with the fact that she's listed right before Tay in the Chapter Characters, I'm assuming that she is the true main character and that Tay has thus far been a decoy protagonist. However, Luru has the appearance of Ruka despite being billed as Rua's daughter, and she somehow inherited a few things from Ruka. Either I'm reading into this way too much, or psychicplayer has a sick, twisted mind.

 

Also, Netherworld. It's no different from being sent to the stars or the Shadow Realm, so stop trying to hide it.

 

Tay suddenly remembered something Yusei said.

"The Dark Signers would stop at nothing to send the Signers to the Netherworld."

Tay then related that to the situation.

"Keith? You're a Dark Signer!"

"Hahahaha! It took you long enough Tay."

The girl on the D-board called out to him.

"Tay you have to stay alert! We're going to have to duel him."

Then the girl pressed the button on her Duel Disk.

 

If we know her name is Luru, why is she still being referred to as "the girl"?

 

Tay shook the shock away from him for a second, and was ready to duel. They said simaltaniously,

 

Simultaneously. Spell it with me now: S-I-M-U-L-T-A-N-E-O-U-S-L-Y.

 

"Riding Duel! Acceleration!"

 

After your insistence on using dub names, now you use the Japanese names?

 

All of a sudden the road forced the group into another lane. All of a sudden, a purple geoglph flame surrounded them. Tay looked around confused. His tutor never told him about this.

 

Yusei told you that Dark Signers that at the time he probably thought would never come back would stop at nothing to eliminate the Signers but left how the crucial fact that you'd be in a geoglyph?

 

Anyway, what follows is a duel where psychicplayer insists on showing us every single card because psychicplayer thinks little of you to determine whether the card is original or who is possibly familiar with it, so let's just skip to the end.

 

"My turn, Draw! Hahahaha! I activate the card, Limit Impulse! And now I discard 2 cards, to summon 2 tokens to my field, and I'll tribute them while I'm at it. Prepare to witness the Netherworld! I summon-"

"Tay!"

Luru called.

"We've got to quit the duel."

Luru pressed a button and her D-Board and it stopped.

"Why?"

"End it now, lives are at stake!"

Tay pressed a button on his Duel Runner, and it came to a hault. Keith frowned in dissapointment.

 

How does that even work? If you never even wanted to duel in the first place, why say yes then immediately quit later? Furthermore, did you actually watch 5D's? It's impossible to quit a duel with a Dark Signer once it's begun. Keith shouldn't be in disappointment, he should be gawking at psychicplayer's inability to remember this crucial detail.

 

"Awww... that's too bad, I wanted to get some souls."

The two, then rode off on their vehicles and took refuge in a nearby park.Tay asked Luru,

"Why'd you end the duel? We didn't even make a scratch on him. Could you also tell me why my best friend is a Dark Signer?!

 

No, she can't, because that's the end of this chapter, and I'm done with this. Everything jumps around too fast, the characters are nothing special and their only characterization can be found in Thread Characters, where Luru and Keith are just the children of other characters and have alliterative names, and Tay is Yusei's assistant for some reason.

 

Also, Thread Characters shows that someone named xXJianXx submitted a character who's image is just a fanart of Roxas and he's Crow's successor. I am deeply insulted.

 

psychicplayer, why don't you try anything with these characters? It's fine to have character submissions for a fanfic; I did that myself, but each and every one of them is just a successor who inherits each Signer Dragon because the plot demands it and because the Signers inexplicably decided to just give away their best card to someone who just happened to impress them one time. Why not bring back the old characters, give characters like Aki or Ruka or Rua or Ushio and let them take care of it? I get you're trying to go for the "new generation" sort of thing, but this a terrible way of doing it.

 

 

[xXJianXx]

Also' date=' Thread Characters shows that someone named xXJianXx submitted a character who's image is just a fanart of Roxas and he's Crow's successor. I am deeply insulted.[/quote']

 

Heheh ^^Û Kinda my fault actually...

 

Meeh about the Image i only wanted it to look kinda like him (couse of my suckish drawing skills i cant make a good impersonate of what my character would look like)

 

´bout the Bio... Well, you have a point there =/. I had to get Black Winged Dragon for some reason, what should I write? "...He founded it by accident...Cool ^^..." Nope....

 

Anyways... liked how you review it xD

 

PD: Im sorry if I insulted you XD

[duel tester]

harsh.....

there are some things i agree on.

but honestly its not just the writing of the fan-fic that repels most people

it how you image the story that draws people to read it

[Phantom Roxas]

PD: Im sorry if I insulted you XD

 

Don't take it personally. I just really don't like Crow.

[psychicplayer]

ill try to do better...

[xXJianXx]

"Now just 5700 more Life Points to go, and I'll enjoy every second of ripping them apart."

 

Holy Shi... XDDD Nice Chapter There xD

[psychicplayer]

Also' date=' Netherworld. It's no different from being sent to the stars or the Shadow Realm, so stop trying to hide it.

[/quote']

Well in case you didn't watch the 5D's show both Japanese and English versions use Neatherworld. That or "The Shadows." But mostly it's just Netherworld.

[Phantom Roxas]

No, the Japanese version very clearly uses Underworld.

[psychicplayer]

okay... but it's just like Netherworld. What's the difference? Under, Nether, there both worlds that are suppose to be another word for HELL!

[Super Chaos Sonic]

Awesome new chapter, Psychicplayer. And theres a mention of my character in this chapter...yay!

[psychicplayer]

thx. I'm still planning out your duel in the next 1 or 2 episodes.

[Super Chaos Sonic]

Sweet. Bit letting you know now, that I'm gonna have to re upload my Birth By Sleep cards. Something screw happened and they disappeared.