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Ann 10 : New Protector of Earth [Chapter 7 added! All 10 aliens revealed!]

Jolta

By Jolta
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Basically, this is a Ben 10 Spinoff. Enjoy.

 

[spoiler=Prologue]

"Today is a new day..." 10-year old Angelina "Ann" Tennyson said to herself as she got out of the bed. She looked at her long, messy pink hair with her purple, beautiful eyes. She went to the kitchen and made her own breakfast. After eating her breakfast, she went into her study room and took out a book. It was, alright, a biography, a biography of Ben Tennyson.

 

"My ancestor was such a notable person, its a shame he had to die," Ann said to herself as she read it. "Woah, I wish I could be like him one day..." She then put the book back where it belongs and went to the bathroom to take a shower. She came out, wearing a yellow, sleeveless top and a red, short skirt. Her hair was straight and that always meant she was ready to go out for a stroll.

 

The blue sky, the green grass, that was what she basically saw. There was barely anyone there. Out of the blue, a tiny meteorite flew from the sky in her direction. She screamed rather loud, but no one heard it, so she dashed away.

 

The metoeorite landed, not much impact. Ann approached the crash site and saw a watch. "This is it... The Omnitrix is mine!" she thought. She put her left arm near the watch and it strapped itself on her wrist. Ann looked around, no one around, she slammed down the watch.

 

Transformation began. Ann Tennyson started becoming Skeleton-like. Next, her arms were covered by green crystals whereas the rest of her body grew purple crystals. Her eyes merged into one...

 

[spoiler="Crystal... SKULL!" at the blink of an eye, she became an Alien.]

crystalskull.png

 

 

Meanwhile, somewhere on Galvan Prime, a Galvan named Azmuth felt a signal from the watch via advanced technology "Good, unlike last time, the Omnitrix has reached its receipant."

 

 

 

[spoiler=Chapter 1 - You're not Special]

“What’s a Crystalobake doing so far away from its home planet?” a voice boomed behind Crystal Skull. When the alien turned behind, he (The Omnitrix alters gender too) saw a tan-skin boy with short, purple hair and a purple suit. He was wielding a watch similar to the Omnitrix, but instead, there was a blue triangle instead of a green peace symbol.

 

“Greetings,” the mysterious person said, “I am B-4, wielder of the Alternatrix. I come from the Andromeda Galaxy. I have come to face you, Angelina Tennyson!” “Hold on a sec, how didja know my name? Which planet do you come from?” Ann asked. “Do not question me now!” B-4 screamed as he slammed down his blue watch.

 

Tranformation began. B-4 started becoming liquid-like. He grew tentacles and hovered above the ground. “AMPFIBIAN!” A jellyfish-like creature with a blue triangle emblem on its chest appeared. Ampfibian blasted electricity at Crystal Skull. However, nothing happened. “How is this possible? Is the Omnitrix built that way?” the jellyfish shouted. Crystal Skull was glowing yellow. Next thing you knew, it fired a yellow laser with its only eye. “Augh!” Ampfibian shouted as he was blown back. Crystal Skull changed back to Ann, but Ampfibian was still Ampfibian. “We’ll see how you settle this guy!” Ann slammed down her watch…

 

Transformation began. Ann started morphing into a biomechanical alien. Her right eye was modified to resemble a clock. Her sharp nails morphed into knives. Her legs grew orb-like structures similar to that of XLR8.

 

[spoiler=“KIIILLING TIME!” the biomechanical monster said in a sing-song tone, as if he was gonna kill someone.]

killingtime.png

 

 

Killing Time aimed knives at Ampfibian. Ampfibian attempted to dodge the attacks, but was hit by some of the knives. “Augh! This is a rather powerful Paradoxian! I never suffered that much on my last trip to Ragnageddon!” Ampfibian wailed. “Then you’ll suffer more!” Killing Time used her superspeed to charge at Ampfibian. She slashed Ampfibian with her knife-like claws. Ampfibian shot electricity at Killing Time, but Killing Time used her time manipulation abilities by firing a time wave from her clock-eye to reverse the direction of the beam. Ampfibian, being composed of mainly impure water, was affected by the electric shock. “H2 Oh no,” Killing Time said as she turned back to Ann. Ampfibian turned back to B-4. Just then they saw objects in the sky. “UFOs!” Ann shouted. “Not just any UFOs, Vilgax is arriving,” B-4 replied.

 

 

 

[spoiler=Chapter 2 - Cthulhu? Nah.]

“Oh, you see, this is actually a test,” a voice boomed behind the duo. It was Azmuth, “to see if you are worthy of wielding the Omnitrix. And you are. B-4, once we get back to Galvan Prime, you’re fired.” “WTF? Why?” B-A replied. “Cos’ I’m a Galvan. ‘nuff said.” The little green guy replied, “Use the Omnitrix to fight Vilgax, because you can. I have to leave now…”

 

B-4 and Azmuth left. “Wait! I can’t do it without- nevermind…” there came Vilgax’s drones. “Oh gawd, this is gonna be super special awesome…” Ann slammed down her watch. Transformation began.

 

Her body changed into a metallic substance. Her feet changed into a nevermelt ice of sorts. Her fingers became rod-shape, whereas her palms became button-shaped, just like magnets. “POLARON!” the metallic being shouted, but didn’t open her mouth.

 

[spoiler=[b]Polaron[/b], a Frigilodian from the plant Frigilodia]

polaron.png

 

 

Polaron fired Electromagnetic waves at the drones through her eyes. “It looks like you are not attractive enough. Have a taste of my magnetic personality!” Never knew a catchphrase could skip many generations. As a result, the drones collided together and broke. Polaron showed her palm to the drones. “Lets see what I can do…” Polaron fired chills at the drones. The pile of drones froze. Just then, a giant spaceship was spotted in the sky. It landed on the pile of frozen drones. Out came a creature with the striking resemblance of Cthulhu. He was armed with weaponry and gadgetry.

 

“No one messes with Vilgax, Earth child! Now, gimme the Omnitrix. Or else, I will invade this planet and rule 70 worlds!” the creature shouted. “That means you already ruled 69 worlds, this is…” Polaron gasped, then she fell to the floor and started rolling on the floor laughing.

 

“69? 69? You’ve gotta be kidding me, that’s a very hilarious number!” the magnetic frigid being was laughing like never before. When she laughed, she produced sound waves that sounded like clanking metal, except very, very, loud. “Augh! I can’t take this! “ Vilgax went to a nearby pond. “This is my element, MY TRUE FORM!” Vilgax had morphed into a squid-like creature.

 

“Oh yeah, being a cephalopod, you have cold blood. Cold blooded animals can’t adapt to THIS!” Polaron stomped his feet on the pond’s surface. The pond froze, so did Vilgax. “I’ll have my revenge! And also the OMnitrix… The girl has so much knowledge, but not enough to figure the secrets of the Omnitrix…”

 

Polaron reverted back to Ann. “This watch ain’t so bad after all! Time to go home…” next thing she knew, the door was locked. “Must be Vilgax…” she thought. She went Crystal Skull. “Skeleton key!” Crystal Skull phased through the door. “I’m still invisible, no one notices me…” Crystal Skull headed to Ann’s room and lied on the bed. Next thing you knew, he reverted back to Ann. “The world needs a new hero now, Ann thought.

 

 

 

 

[spoiler=Chapter 3 - Sssschool]

Every superhero needs to go to school. Including Ann Tennyson, now declared awesome. Like all of you, she has to go to school every weekday. Pretty obvious, anyways, lets get to the story.

 

Her outfit in the previous 3 chapters, was a rather sleazy outfit. In school, you don’t wear sleazy outfits, because those are awesome. Instead, you wear less revealing clothes. She wears a yellow, long sleeve shirt with red stripes. Or was it a red one with yellow stripes? But whatever, no diff, don’t care about colour. As long as NO ONE sees her Omnitrix. She’s still wearing her red skirt though.

 

“Oh effing gawd, school. I’ll use my Aliens on those bullies…” Ann thought as she nervously went to school. “Who should I use? Crystal Skull? Killing Time? Polaron?” she thought. She had to eventually go to school.

 

She was going to be late, so Ann slammed down her watch and transformed into Killing Time. The superfast alien sped to school. When she was an inch away from school, she changed back to Ann. “Oh look, smexilicious, its Angelina Tennyson!” a voice from behind boomed. It was William and Sam, the school bullies.

 

“Give us your lunch money, redhead,” William said. “Yeah, or we’ll beat you to the pulp!” Sam continued. “Don’t interrupt,” William wailed at Sam.

 

“I’ll be right back,” Ann said. She went to the nearby girl’s bathroom. The duo stalked her. Lolicons. Ann went into a cubicle. The duo were trying to peep, but failed. Ann noticed their presence. “Gee Tee Eff Oh, pervs!” the redhead- I mean, pinkhead, or whatever, screamed. “This’ll teach them to trifle with me,” Ann thought. She slammed down her watch. Transformation began.

 

Her bewbs grew flatter. OWAIT- she was already flat-chested. Her arms were transformed into wide bird-like wings, covered with scales. Her whole body was covered with scales. Her teeth became jaws and her body became Serpentine. “LEVIATHAN!”

 

[spoiler=Leviathan, able to manipulate Envy.]

leviathano.png

 

 

A mammoth, motherfuxing sea serpent emerged from the cubicle Ann was in. “RUUUN!” William yelled like a little girl. So did Sam. “Ssssso, you dare trifle with Leviathan, boyssss?” Leviathan questioned. He shot electric bolts at the boys through his mouth. Or ssshould I sssay, ssshot electric boltssss. “I am the ssssmexiest person you’ve taken on. Facccce my wrath!” boy, Leviathan sounds very annoying, I like that.

 

“What are you going to do with ussss, snakeface?” teased Sam. “Sssso, you wanna fight? Very well, ssssuckers! Tornado Ssssmackdown!” Leviathan spun around and around and around and around. He spun so quickly, he himself became a humongous sepent tornado. It carried Sam and William.

 

“Oh my, ssso you are having fun like me? Ssssit down and we will have ssssome more…” Leviathan cleared his throat, “Owait, you can’t. Sssss.”

 

 

 

[spoiler=Chapter 4 - Aiding the Enemy]

The Omnitrix symbol turned from green to white. Before that could happen, Leviathan dashed away into the sky. “Adiosssss boysss!’ the sea serpent flew away. Don’t ask me where Ann is.

 

“Now we’ve gotta settle Tennyson. Lets leave behind that Leviathan guy,” William said to Sam. “Do you notice Tennysongot something new? I mean, there’s seems to be something bumpy on her!” said Sam. “Bullshyt. Tennyson was always flat-chested. What’s new?” asked William. “No, on her wrist, I think she’s wearing a watch…. Let’s RIP IT!”

 

Just then, an announcement was heard. “William Morningstar and Sam Stone, please come to my office…. NOW!” “Hehe, loser principal,” said Sam, “to think Tennis-on telltale could kick our asses by doing that.” “Lets go anyways, its goofy time…” said William. They were out looking for Ann. “Angelina Lina Tennyson, come out come out wherever you are!” they said together, repeatedly. Just then, a hand grabbed them each. “Children, prepare to learn your lesson…” the hands dragged them to a secret room.

 

Ann saw the incident. She slammed down her watch. “CRYSTAL SKULL!” she had altered her form into a crystal ghost-like alien. The one-eyed dude stalked the “mysterious figure” carrying the two bullies into a super-secret area of the school. He had to go through many doors, each of them closing immediately after the mysterious person had went through them. Fortunately, the crystal being was able to phase through objects.

 

When Crystal Skull was about to phase through the last door, the Omnitrix symbol changed from Green to white, and a beeping sound was heard. Crystal Skull reverted back to Ann. “So… what now?” she thought. “Ann? Watcha doin’ here?” a voice boomed from behind. It was her best friend, Victor Gigawatt. “Errr… Ann, have you seen this ghost-like creature, capable of phasing through walls, made from crystals? I’ve been following it all this time. I have a feeling it may help me solve a mystery,” Victor asked as he scratched his short, blue hair.

 

“Errr… nope, I haven’t seen Crystal Skull- I mean such a creature. That’s… crazy talk! Yeah, crazy talk…” Ann blushed a little, knowing who Victor was referring to. Victor stared at her with his stern-looking blue eyes. Electrical currents went through his body. “AHHHH! Don’t vent your anger on me!” Ann shouted. Victor mearly held Ann’s left hand. Ann blushed for the second time this chapter, until she knew he was meddling with her Omnitrix.

 

“The Omnitrix, a Level 20 tech device. Its main function is to shapeshift you into 10 different aliens,” Victor said with his glasses shining. He browsed through the holograms of Ann’s aliens. When he saw Crystal Skull’s hologram, he said, “Angelina Lina Tennyson, never knew you were the stealthy crystal creature… known as a Crystalobake. Quick, turn into this guy! The fire rock guy” Victor slammed Ann’s watch down.

 

Transformation began. Ann’s whole body was covered with a rock-like substance, known to be harder than titanium. Two cannon-like structures, made from the same material as the rock-like substance, grew from Ann’s back. They produced a smokescreen, causing a halfway-transformed silhouette of Ann to be seen. Her bewbs grew bigger, she grew a tail, and she became more reptilian. “FIREWALL!” the smokescreen disappeared, out came a fire rock guy.

 

[spoiler=Firewall]

firewall.png

 

 

“OK, Victor, what do I do?” Firewall asked, “I feel hot in both ways. Am I suppose to burn this thing down?” Firewall used her cannons to blow fire at the door. “Why is this thing so heatproof?” Victor pointed to her tail. “Of course! Why didn’t I think of that…” Firewall said. She slammed her tail on the heatproof door. Success – it broke into smithereens.

 

There they saw, Principal Smith, with his blonde hair, and red evil-looking yes, carrying a chainsaw and ready to cut up William and Sam. “So fellas, This is your Ragnarok!” shouted Smith. “Not so fast, Smith!” shouted Firewall. “Victor Gigawatt, the Impure blue-eyed boy. And what’s this?” Smith looked at Firewall’s Omnitrix symbol. “Wielder of the Omnitrix? Four in one…” Before he could move a muscle, Firewall’s tail slammed down on the floor and caused a small Earthquake. Victor on the other hand, fired thunderbolts at Smith. “That’s a taste of your own medicine…” Victor said as he and Firewall walked away.

 

Lets skip to the part where school is over. The children were dismissed. Ann and Victor walked home together, holding hands, that’s how close they were. “So Ann, you were the humongous Sea sepent alien? ALL ALONG?” Victor asked, shocked. “Yup,” Ann replied. Victor was very astonished.

 

 

 

[spoiler=Chapter 5 - Spam]

“Oooh yes, Azmuth has created the Omnitrix and launched it into space, to go to Earth? SUCCESS??!! Well, no one’s gonna stop me from obtaining the Omnitrix. I’m going to Earth,” said a Galvanic Mechomorph with blue circuit arrangements, “I will make good use of it. Really. Good. Use.” The synthetic creature had a plan…

 

It appears that after Ann dad her homework with Killing Time’s help. Freezing Time so that it seems that she’s doing things faster is just wrong. Her handwriting was more atrocious than usual, due to the fact that Killing Time doesn’t have proper fingers like we do. When Killing Time turned back into Ann, the phone rang. “Hello? Oh yes, its me Victor. Go out for a walk? I’d love to! I always go there once a fortnight to see ancestor Ben! You do too? Alright, meet you at the park at 5!” Ann was blushing with excitement.

 

So at 5, they met at the Park. “At 5, you do not see many people around. This is just you and me pal,” said Victor. “PAL? JUST PAL? I mean- yeah…” replied Ann, “Don’t forget Ben 10000’s statue over there.” So, there it was, the statue of Ben 10000, also known as Ben Tennyson.

 

“Wielder of the Ultimatrix, successor of the Omnitrix. You have it, I seek it,” a voice was heard from a gigantic spaceship in the sky, covered with blue lines. It shapeshifted into the Galvanic Mechomorph mentioned earlier. “Name’s Spam. Spam I am.” the same cybernetic voice said.

 

Ann slammed down her watch. “KILLING TIME!” Killing Time shouted as she fired knives at Spam. They shot through him. Being made of liquid metal, Spam was unaffected by the Attack. “A Paradoxian? I know how to deal with these…” Spam jumped on Killing Time forcefully. Before he could take control of her systems, she froze time. She took Spam off her and said, “sorry, but you’re not ruining my day.” Spam however, had a clock-like device on him. “You can’t stop ME!” Killing Time changed back to Ann and fainted. Time resumed. Spam kidnapped Ann and shapeshifted into a giant house where Ann was trapped in it.

 

“If your boyfriend doesn’t come in 20 minutes I will hijack your Omnitrix and take over YOU!” shouted Spam within the house. “Idiot. Your species isn’t capable of controlling biological creatures,” Ann replied, “oh yeah, you forgot to tie me up.”

 

“That was intentional. Because you will have to destroy me from within!” shouted Spam. He fired torpedoes at Ann. “Fuuuuu-“ she went. Just then, the torpedoes froze and fell to the ground. “Who are you? Where are you?” asked Spam. “I ampere, watt’s the matter? Shocked?” it was Victor.

 

“Pretty lame puns, but can you handle thi-“ Spam was interrupted by a rude shock. “Oh, electricity, my weakness! The pain! IT BURNS! But that doesn’t kill me, fools!” Ann had an idea. “Its HERO TIME!” she shouted as she slammed down her watch. Tranformation began.

 

She grew more dinosaur-like. She grew twice her size and gained a tail with a lollipop at the end of it. Her teeth became jaws, sharp enough to rip through metals. She grew plates on her back that were made of cookies. “SWEET TOOTH!” a dinosaur-like creature appeared. “VICTOR! Shield yourself!” Sweet Tooth shouted as she fired strawberry ice cream at Spam. “What is this filthy dessert? I want to eat Spam! NOW!” shouted Spam, disappointedly.

 

[spoiler=Sweet Tooth, capable of manipulating de-licious food!]

sweettooth.png

 

 

Victor was protecting himself with an electromagnetic forcefield he made all by himself. Sweet Tooth then grabbed the cookies on her back, and they immediately grew back. “You won’t have Spam, you’ll have COOKIES!” Sweet Tooth threw cookies at the wall of the house. It cut through it. Sweet Tooth used her sharp teeth to rip through the walls, success! Victor followed her.

 

“Well, I would like some Mechomorph ripple!” Sweet Tooth fired Ice Cream at Spam. “Argh! I’ll be back!” Spam went away. Next thing you knew, Sweet Tooth also fired Chocolate Fudge at Spam. “Now I look like sh**! You can’t do this to me!” the synthetic creature stormed off.

 

“Mmm, Chocolate,” said Victor as Sweet Tooth turned back into Ann. They walked back home, remembering this sweet day.

 

 

 

[spoiler=Chapter 6 - Back to evil business ]

Being half Osmosian, Kevin can live long enough to have his revenge

 

“Oh my, it appears that a new Omnitrix Wielder has rose. I may mutate into a monster like more than 500 years ago, but I just want the powers…” a mysterious looking Osmosian with sharp horns muttered. “Ann Tennyson, descendant of my good’ol pal Benjy. I must find her, and her powers will be MINE!”

 

Our Chapter begins with Ann walking along the streets alone. “Boy, I’m bored. If only I had something good to do on such a hot day!” wondered Ann. She then bumped into Victor. “Hey Vic, where are you going?” Ann asked. “Errr… no where! I definitely was not stalking you!” Victor said with his face red. They turned around and saw the Osmosian mentioned earlier in the story. “Kevin Levin? Friend of Ben Tennyson? Of course, he is an Osmosian, capable of living for hundreds of years,” Victor said to Ann. “I don’t know, he looks like a paedophile that says ‘Come here little children I have free candy!’ or something like that.” The Osmosian called to them. “Told ya,” said Victor. The duo approached the Osmosian.

 

“My name is Kevin E. Levin. I’ve heard you are the new Omnitrix wielder, Ann, and your friend, Victor,” Kevin patted Ann on the head. “Nice hairdo by the way.” Oh yeah, did I mention Ann has Twintails today? “I have a deal for you Ann, Victor, follow me…”

 

Kevin brought them to… a wall? “Hmm… if I know there must be a secret passageway!” said Victor as he fired Electric Bolts at the wall. There was an opening, a door which led to a room. Kevin dashed toi the room. His horns, making him taller, caused the wall to chip a little. He came out of the hole caused by Victor’s attack., his hands full of Alien Technology.

 

“Well, we’ll see how you go faring with Ninelives,” Ann selected an Alien from her watch. Kevin then slammed down her watch for her. Boy, this is gonna be another ripoff of the episode “Framed”. Maybe not now.

 

Transformation began. Her twintails became more furry than hairy. Her hands became paws, with sharp claws. Her eyes, like most of her other forms, became green. In addition to her two green eyes, she had a third eye. “NINELIVES!” a Bakeneko-like creature with an extra eye appeared. It looks like a harmless little kitty.

 

[spoiler=Ninelives]

ninelives.png

 

 

 

“Meow, we must chase after Kevin! He’s evil!” Ninelives was capable of telepathy, she could easily know what was Kevin thinking, even if he didn’t stay still. As the name suggests, she just won’t die. Ninelives, like any running cat, was faster than any Crustacean-human hybrid like Victor, or a human-like creature that wasn’t, like Kevin. In other words, Victor couldn’t catch up with Ninelives, while Ninelives pounced on Kevin. Kevin absorbed the cement ground below him. “You look like a cat on hot bricks,” Kevin said as he shapeshifted his arms into a giant mallet, then slammed it on Ninelives. Ninelives, however, was still there, not a scratch. Kevin tried eight more times, but to no avail. Ninelives was a cat with infinite lives, probably.

 

Suddenly, an extremely loud soundwave was heard. It was blasted at Ninelives, knocking her off Kevin, then throwing her at Victor. Ninelives changed back to Ann. When they both got up, they saw a green-haired girl, wearing a red hoodie and a blue miniskirt. She also had a pair of wolf ears and a wolf tail. “A Loboan-human hybrid! Loboans are wolf-like creatures capable of Sound Manipulation!”

 

“Please… I’m innocent…” the cute little monster girl said, in a voice which was somewhat the cross between Hatsune Miku and Nanomech, which was very High-pitched. “Mr. Levin forced me to help him, or else he’ll, he’lll, HE’LL,” she paused then started sobbing like a cute girl.

 

“Don’t cry, tell us the full picture,” said Victor, “lets start with a name.”

 

“The name is Hikari. Since young, I have been the timid girl I am now. I have been looked down on since young. I do not have many friends, you two are probably the first…”

 

“We’ll continue later. Quick, Kevin may rule Earth!” shouted Ann. Just then, she saw Kevin running in their direction. It appears that Kevin was running in a circle. “Hikari, you stay there, Victor and I will settle Kevin.” After that, Ann slammed down her watch, Transformation began.

 

Her arms were changed into sharp blades. She grew spikes on her back. Her eyes became green and she grew a mask, similar to what fencers wear. “RAPIER!” a rather sharp alien, named after a weapon, appeared. She charged at Kevin. Victor, on the other hand, fired electrical discs at Kevin. Kevin, simply by absorbing a brick wall near them, pushed them away. The two fell to the ground, unconscious. Rapier rose, then fainted.

 

[spoiler=Rapier]

rapier.png

 

 

 

“Melee attacks don’t work on me now, fools,” said Kevin. “Now I’ll take the little girl…” Hikari looked furious. She took off the velvet choker that was on her all this while. She mutated into a Lycanthrope-like creature known as a Loboan. “So, Kevin Ethan Levin, my inner Lycanthrope self has been revealed. Take this…” Her voice had become rougher. Hikari punched Kevin with tremendous force, causing his armor to break. She then threw him into the air. “I’m blasting off again!” wailed Kevin like a little baby. Hikari changed back into her original self and put her velvet choker on.

 

Rapier changed back to Ann. Ann and Victor got up and complimented Hikari, “thanks, by the way I like your ears.” Hikari started wagging her tail and blushed. Then, her ears started twitching. “There’s trouble!” she then hugged Victor for a while, then let go, for she was full of fear. When Ann turned around, she exclaimed, “VILGAX! Should’ve known he was gonna come back.”

 

Hikari, Ann and Victor ran in the direction Vilgax’s ship was.

 

 

 

 

[spoiler=Chapter 7 - Davy Jone's Locker]

Ann, Hikari and Victor saw Vilgax’s ship hovering. “Hmmm… I could use this Ninja guy to do the trick!” shouted Ann. “Ann Tennyson, there is no need to,” a voice boomed from the ship. A red light came down from the ship. Vilgax emerged from the light.

 

“So, Squidface, any plans for today?” questioned Victor, “you seem squiddy…”

 

“SILENCE you insolent hybrid! I am here to steal the Omnitrix! I was a tiny flaw away from getting the Ultimatrix, no doubt I’ll get the Omnitrix!” screamed the metal-clad squid at the top of his voice, “hand it over or else…”

 

“In your dreams,” said Ann as she slammed down her watch. Transformation began. Her whole body was broken down and reshapened into what seems to be a five-sided shuriken. “BLACKSTAR!” a starfish-like creature appeared where Ann was. “Lemme try this out…” Blackstar kept spinning like a shuriken. After a few seconds of spinning, it threw itself a Vilgax. Vilgax, however, simply picked up a rock and threw it at Blackstar to negate the attack. Blackstar was blown to bits, but the Omnitrix emblem still in one piece.

 

[spoiler=Blackstar, and no, he's the same size as my palm.]

blackstar.png

 

 

 

“Now! My chance!” shouted Vilgax as he slowly attempted to pick up the emblem. “NO! ANN!” shouted Hikari, almost sobbing. Victor comforted her by saying that Ann would live. “Watch. See what I told you?” Victor and Hikari observed the pieces of Blackstar merge together with the Omnitrix emblem. “BLACK STA- wait, I’m still Blackstar,” said Blackstar, thinking that it would end up like how Chromastone when destroyed.

 

“What? This was never used by Ben Tennyson! But those two are,” Vilgax pointed to Victor and Hikari, ready to strike. “If you wanna get through them you’ve gotta get through me! Or should I say, US!” Blackstar said, with many other duplicates of it behind the starfish. Many Blackstars chargd at Vilgax. Despite being from one of the leanest, meanest, and possibly greenest races in the galaxy, Vilgax was badly scarred.

 

All the Blackstars formed a star-shaped formation. “Now you cannot defeat us Squidfa- uh oh…”the Omnitrix emblem started turning from Green to White. A buzzing sound accompanied it. “Music to my ears,” said Vilgax, full of joy. All of them turned back into one Ann Tennyson. “Mwahahaha! This will be an easy job!” after saying this, Vilgax captured Ann with his bare hands, then did the same to Hikari. He then jumped up onto his ship. “Alien abduction! I could really use a hand getting up there. Or maybe…”

 

“I will destroy the three of you! Wait, someone’s missing…” Vilgax was shocked. Just then, the alarm sounded. “ABANDON SHIP!” Vilgax shouted. He took his two hostages with him and they landed in the sea. “Gawd, is there anything in here that can swim?” wondered Ann as she looked at her Omnitrix. “Water is my element. Behold, my true form!” Vilgax transformed into a squid-like creature. He held Ann and Hikari with his tentacles. He emerged from the water, seeing Victor on his hoverboard. “Now boy, surrender yourself or your friends…” Vilgax was seen pulling Ann’s and Hikari’s skirts.

 

“Oh no you don’t, no one hurts my friends,” Victor fired electrical discs at Vilgax. When Vilgax let go of the girls, they jumped on Victor. Now Victor has to carry both of them with his shoulders. Hard job for someone who’s all brains and no brawn. “MY HERO!” the two girls said in unison when they kissed Victor on the cheek. “So, which one of you should I be with?” asked Victor.

 

“You will not live to see the day, foolish impure being!” Vilgax shouted. Ann slammed down her watch. Transformation began. The lower part ofd her body grew more horse like, including the fact that she had two more legs and a horse-like tail. Her head grew more more fish-like with gills. “SEEEAAAhorse!” neighed a centaur-like creature, standing on the water. Seahorse used his hooves, strong and powerful like any animal’s hooves would be, to stomp on Vilgax. Vilgax was hurt really badly, he slowly sank into the sea. Seahorse then turned into Blackstar to multiply and charge at Vilgax. Vilgax had his tentacles cut off. Vilgax is a tough guy, they’ll grow back.

 

[spoiler=Seahorse, capable of waterwalking]

seahorse.png

 

 

 

We see our three heroes, on the shore. “You guys are really heavy, all brains and no brawn…” said Victor. “Hopefully we won’t be kidnapped again,” said a shivering, almost crying, Hikari. She was always like that, with her ears and tail always down. The lupine girl hugged Victor really tight as they walked away from the beach, fearing that they will really be kidnapped. Victor didn’t seem pleased.

 

While they were fighting Vilgax back then, someone else was watching them – Dr. Timothy Aloysius Animo. Animo was a mad scientist, described as having thick, spiky, red hair and a lab coat. He was riding a mutant seagull which he mutated using a transmutation device. Animo, while on his mutant seagull, was stalking the trio. “I, Dr. Animo, am bound to capture the boy… and I will create a GLORIOUS army of thunder beasts…”

 

The seagull swooped down and grabbed Victor by the claws. Timid-looking Hikari, hanging on Victor so tight, was carried away too. The seagull put them on his back. When Victor hurled an electrical punch while Hikari fired sonic waves, both directed at Dr. Animo, it didn’t affect him. “I, Dr. Animo, have modified my lab coat to be immune to such situations! When I get back to my lab, I will create a hideous creature, capable of sound manipulation, electrical manipulation, limited super strength and of course, a mind like a supercomputer…”

 

Ann saw the evil Animo. Surprisingly, she managed to hear him. She slammed down her watch. “KILLING TIME!” Killing Time, possibly mentioned earlier, was capable of moving forward, backwards or even freezing time! Killing Time slowed down the time around her to make her look as if she is running extremely fast.

 

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Kaisu Newbie

Kaisu

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Basically' date=' this is a Ben 10 Spinoff. Enjoy. At least you're honest....

 

[spoiler=Prologue]

"Today is a new day..." 10-year old Angelina "Ann" Tennyson said to herself as she got out of the bed. She looked at her long, messy pink hair with her purple, beautiful eyes. That is, she was an FOUR-ARMS!!!!! But yeah. So far so good.

She went to the kitchen and made her own breakfast. After eating her breakfastthat consisted of Stinkfly goop

, she went into her study room and took out a book. It was, alright, a biography, a biography of Ben Tennyson. Who rode his harley and crashed it into a giant spaceship which then blasted into space and rammed into the Death Star where they activated the giant cannon out of the space-truck thingie they were trekking on.... What was I talking about again?

 

 

"My ancestor was such a notable person, its a shame he had to die," Ann said to herself as she read it in a Greymatter speed

. "Woah, I wish I could be like him one day..." She then put the book back where it belongs and went to the bathroom to take a shower. She came out, wearing a yellow, sleeveless top and a red, short skirt. Her hair was straight and that always meant she was ready to go out for a stroll. Because messy hair is bad when you're going for a stroll... Apparently.

 

The blue sky, the green grass, that was what she basically saw. There was barely anyone there. Out of the blue, a tiny meteorite flew from the sky in her direction. She screamed rather loud, but no one heard it, so she dashed away. Because in the morning everyone stays inside, because they have no jobs or anything. And meteorites are BAWS. Kinda obvious this would happen though...

 

The metoeorite landed, not much impact. Ann approached the crash site and saw a watch. "This is it... The Omnitrix is mine!" she thought. Because all watches from meteorites from outer space are the Omnitrix, despite there being only one of them. And the crash site was where she was standing moments ago.

She put her left arm near the watch and it strapped itself on her wrist. Ann looked around, no one around, she slammed down the watch. Because alien watches are easy to operate, with no gluing themselves to wrists or anything.

 

Transformation began. Ann Tennyson started becoming Skeleton-like. Next, her arms were covered by green crystals whereas the rest of her body grew purple crystals. Her eyes merged into one...

 

[spoiler="Crystal... SKULL!" at the blink of an eye, she became an Alien.]

crystalskull.png

 

Because alien names can be thought up in the blink of an eye.

 

Meanwhile, somewhere on Galvan Prime, a Galvan named Azmuth felt a signal from the watch via advanced technology "Good, unlike last time, the Omnitrix has reached its receipant." Because this tiny fella wants to watch Mickey Mouse via video conference.

 

 

 

Well, it's cliche with absolutely no character development, but....

 

Description's good, only you don't eleborate on much stuff.

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CrabHelmet Newbie

CrabHelmet

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The world of Fan Fiction is a wide and varied realm. You have your adventure fanfics that flesh out an amazing and colourful world. You have your character study fanfics that explore the protagonist in ways the original author never imagined. You have your tender romantic shipping fanfics that depict a warm and fuzzy relationship between two characters that make an excellent pairing. And you have your comedy fanfics that can make the reader laugh out loud.

 

Unfortunately, that's not all you have. You also have your fanfics that grasp the English language so badly that you begin to wonder what language they are actually written in. You have your fanfics in which a new Mary Sue appears and destroys the entire actual cast. You have your fanfics in which characters' actual personalities and histories are completely mangled to the point where they may as well be someone totally different with a similar name. You have your fanfics with totally nonsensical relationships, where the author suddenly reveals that McCoy and Snape are secretly lovers. You have your fanfics where so little follows logically that it can barely be called a story; where flat and bland characters perform mundane activities that nobody cares about; where the canon story is rehashed so directly that one wonders what the fan actually contributed; and where mediocrity is so omnipresent that one cannot find the interest to continue reading.

 

If you are a fan of quality fanfics but you are a foe of mediocre-to-bad fanfics, then you've come to the wrong place - because today is a day for Foe Fiction.

 

I've never seen Ben 10, and don't know anything about it except that it's about some shapeshifter guy or something.

 

Let's go!

 

"Today is a new day..." 10-year old Angelina "Ann" Tennyson said to herself as she got out of the bed.

 

No. Nobody ever does that.

 

She looked at her long, messy pink hair with her purple, beautiful eyes. She went to the kitchen and made her own breakfast. After eating her breakfast, she went into her study room and took out a book.

 

Female. Beautiful. Perky and optimistic. Unusual hair colours. Self-sufficient. And well-read to boot. Every warning flag a fanfic-savvy person could have for a Mary Sue Classic is being tripped. All she needs to do now is officially become The Chosen One, convert a villain to the side of love and puppies, and perform a magical heroic sacrifice.

 

It was, alright, a biography,

 

The disembodied omniscient narrator seems reluctant to give up this information for some reason.

 

a biography of Ben Tennyson.

 

"My ancestor was such a notable person, its a shame he had to die," Ann said to herself as she read it.

 

I love the realistic dialogue in this story. I don't know when this is set or what happens to Ben in the canon, but considering she refers to him as "ancestor" rather than "father" or "grandfather", this is probably way in the future. That makes this line read like me picking up a biography of Isaac Newton and saying "It's a shame he had to die", except worse because you dropped an apostrophe. Of course he had to die! Everybody has to die eventually, and if he had children to become your ancestor it obviously wasn't too premature. And if he lived so long ago, then why would you act like it's such a tragedy that he died? I don't think it's so impossibly awful that my, for example, great-great-grandfather is dead.

 

But your great-great-grandfather isn't a world-saving hero! Be fair to this story, Crab. Not everything's perfect!

 

That doesn't change the fact that nobody would ever say that, Captain R- um, what's the R stand for this time anyhow?

 

Rgiving!

 

...what?

 

It stands fo' rgiving.

 

That's the stupidest thing I've heard in my life.

 

See, that's why I'm feeling forgiv-

 

I GET IT. This conversation is so stupid that I want to actually go back to the lousy story now.

 

"Woah, I wish I could be like him one day..."

 

SUBTLE FORESHADOWING

 

She then put the book back where it belongs and went to the bathroom to take a shower. She came out, wearing a yellow, sleeveless top and a red, short skirt. Her hair was straight and that always meant she was ready to go out for a stroll.

 

Description is nice, but do we need to be treated to a description of her showering and putting on a sleeveless top and a short skirt? Is this supposed to be fanservice or something? And if so, where are all the cute bishonen guys?

 

The blue sky, the green grass, that was what she basically saw.

 

I can't tell whether this establishes her as a friend-to-nature, giving her another check on the Mary Sue checklist, or as a colossal moron who has only just noticed the colours of the sky and grass, giving her another check on my You Are A Worthless Protagonist Why Am I Reading This checklist. In reality, it's probably just supposed to set up this line -

 

There was barely anyone there.

 

- by saying there was nothing there, but that won't stop me from complaining about that line.

 

Indeed, that line sucked!

 

What are you now, Captain Ragreeswithcrab?

 

I am Captain Ridicule! Ridicule-er of things that need to be ridiculed!

 

I'll tell you who needs to be ridiculed here. Just shut up. Next line, please!

 

Out of the blue, a tiny meteorite flew from the sky in her direction. She screamed rather loud, but no one heard it, so she dashed away.

 

The metoeorite landed, not much impact.

 

It's a meteorite falling from space. How is there not much impact?

 

Ann approached the crash site and saw a watch.

 

Do they still have watches in the future?

 

This is a serious question. I've heard it said that the biggest problem with trying to write fiction about the year 2500 is that the conflicts of that year will be as incomprehensible to us today as the Microsoft Anti-Trust Suit would have been to Joan of Arc. As I understand it, Ben 10 is set in the modern day, and the "ancestor" comment puts us several generations into the future, so do they still have watches? Watches are already becoming less common as mobile phones with built-in clocks render them rather redundant. Several generations into the future, Ann may not recognize a watch, or may do so only in the way we recognize a sundial.

 

As we ponder this question, we realize an even deeper problem: we're now probably over a hundred years in the future. I'm just guessing for that number, since we haven't even been told when this takes place. Despite this, we haven't been told anything at all about the future, except that apparently short skirts are still fashionable. This seems like rather a glaring oversight for a story that takes place in the future and is science fiction anyhow.

 

This is the prologue, isn't it? Doesn't that mean it's supposed to set the stage for everything else? Nothing exciting its happening, so this obviously isn't the action-hook style of prologue, so it must be the type that prepares us for the main story. But it's not telling us anything about the future, when the story takes place, so it's rather failing at that.

 

But never mind that. Annie Sue has a Chosen One to become.

 

"This is it... The Omnitrix is mine!" she thought. She put her left arm near the watch and it strapped itself on her wrist. Ann looked around, no one around, she slammed down the watch.

 

She "slammed down the watch"? Maybe they have forgotten how to use watches in the future.

 

Transformation began. Ann Tennyson started becoming Skeleton-like. Next, her arms were covered by green crystals whereas the rest of her body grew purple crystals. Her eyes merged into one...

 

[spoiler="Crystal... SKULL!" at the blink of an eye, she became an Alien.]

crystalskull.png

 

No, seriously. That MSPaint drawing is actually part of the story.

 

I've mostly been joking about the whole Mary Sue thing. Despite having a lot of the classic Mary Sue traits, receiving magical powers that make her the sole defender of the world or whatever the hero's supposed to do in this story, Ann hasn't really done anything too Suetiful yet, though she is in danger of becoming one, especially since her role is central to the story, and that sort of role's ability to swallow up everything and make everything about the heroine is an easy cause of Suedom.

 

Meanwhile, somewhere on Galvan Prime, a Galvan named Azmuth felt a signal from the watch via advanced technology

 

I just love the phrase "via advanced technology". It's like the author said, "Hmm, I need to have this alien guy do stuff somehow, but I suck at coming up with good technobabble all the time, so I can't do that, and I don't want to use the Lost method of just chalking everything up to one almighty piece of phlebotinum like electromagnetism, so I can't do that, and I don't want to go into parody with the Doctor Who method of having silliness like timey-wimey detectors that go dink when there's stuff, so I can't do that either. I know! I'll just chalk everything up to 'advanced technology' that I'm not even going to pretend to define."

 

No, I don't expect hard science realism in my Ben 10 fanfics, but the phrase "via advanced technology" just cracks me up - and I'm not laughing with you, I'm laughing at you. It says that you're not even trying, and just sounds pathetic.

 

"Good, unlike last time, the Omnitrix has reached its receipant."

 

And so the very last line of the prologue is a character telling himself something he already knows out loud solely for the audience's benefit - take two sips - and the very last word of the prologue is misspelled. Wonderful.

 

Overall, I didn't find anything positive to recommend this story - do I ever? Hopeless Paradise doesn't count - and there are a lot of problems that detract from it, from laughable dialogue to non-existent world-building and a prevailing sense of clumsy, awkward writing. It could be salvaged, but improvement will be required, and-

 

I get it now! You meant that I was ridiculous, right?

 

-and I'm so sick of both of you that I'm going to leave Captain Realization or whoever he is now to finish this review.

 

Ooh, fun! The story, um - Ann is taking over Ben's role, right? And she's, like, his great-great-granddaughter or something. That's cool. I guess the Azmuth guy is some sort of alien who's watching them or something. I didn't really get it?

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Jolta Explorer

Jolta

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Thanks Crab, that was hillarious.

 

Anyways, I've finished drawing the third Alien to appear in the Fanfic. He have the same abilities as Lodestar and one of the abilities of Big Chill.

 

Probably the same catchphrases too.

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