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Organization XIII

Phantom Roxas

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Dad Apprentice

Dad

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LEAVE DORIAN ALONE! I'M SERIOUS!

 

Hey Am, got BbS.

 

Playing as Aqua cause f*** Terra.

 

I named my finisher Nexmas Cheer, than Saint Nevert.

 

Don't know why I'm doing a holiday theme thingy, it's kinda creepy tbh.

 

 

No, it's not creepy. It's f***ing disturbing.

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Larxene Newbie

Larxene

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Posted

[spoiler=BEHOLD.]

Kingdom Hearts

 

Divided by Zero

 

Prologue: Unravel the Heart

 

 

As many are acquainted, there is a tale told across the worlds of a boy who saved us all from certain doom, shining key in hand, as he battled for the safety of the Heart of All Worlds. Associated with this tale are various other stories, all tied to it in one way or another, furthering the accounts of this boy’s exploits across the Ocean Between. In order to protect the Great Heart, the boy had to overcome the powers of those who preyed upon Hearts, as well as those who had none at all. This culminated in a struggle with the one who started it all, existing in multiple iterations of his self. Of course, the boy eventually succeeded, and peace and happiness was finally returned to the lives and worlds that the One Who Started It All had ruined.

 

But curiously, this account does not seek to tell this tale. The document you now hold in your hand is one of altered beginnings and shifting circumstance. For you see, in a universe where multiple worlds exist together, and yet separate, on multiple planes of reality, it is to be expected (at least, among those of us who are versed in such things) that a continuity of events may eventually split or deviate, creating alternate planes where the same people live out the same lives in alternative circumstances.

 

To put it simply and in a term most will understand, an Alternate Reality. The tale you are about to be told is of one such Alternate Reality, one in which the Boy Hero and his Key did indeed set out on their quest to quell the Darkness and protect the Light, but through a variety of slight changes in events did the boy arrive at a completely different conclusion.

 

…We feel compelled to inform you, however, that you may be surprised by the events that are to transpire in this continuity. Some of the happenings, as well as the personalities of those you may know from the Age-Old Tale of the Boy and the Key, differ in such drastic senses that… well, we of the Order who oversees these things felt it was necessary that this account be classified as “Parody”.

 

We also are obligated to inform you that, should you choose to read on, you may indeed lose some vital cells required for cognitive faculties. We know we did.

 

 

-

 

 

~ ~ ~ KEYBLADE ~ ~ ~ ~ OBLIVION ~ ~ ~ ~ HEART ~ ~ ~ ~ CARD ~ ~ ~ ~ NOTHING ~ ~ ~

 

 

-

 

 

Sora stood strong, glaring down at Larxene. His Keyblade was held in a loose, girly grip, wielded by his mighty stick-like arms that somehow produced a great degree of physical strength. It was probably due to his heart’s strength or some s*** like that. Larxene crouched on the ground, defeated. She had discovered Axel’s treachery and ran off to intercept Naminé and Sora, planning on killing the boy. However, Sora’s Zoo Friends, Donald and Goofy, had at some point had a change of heart over Sora’s earlier Temper Tantrum and had come to his rescue right when he was at the Callous Vixen’s mercy.

 

And so Larxene had been defeated. But not by getting wet, because that’s really dumb, guys.

 

Sora continued to glare, so hard that his eyes probably would have slapped him for straining them so hard had they any hands to slap with. But alas, they were but eyes. They could not produce slaps. Ah, right, Sora and the glaring. Anyway, he was glaring pretty fiercely. I mean, it was still kind of non-threatening, because hey, it’s Sora for crying out loud, but it was a glare of ferocity all the same.

 

“Any last words?” he demanded of the cruel, blond Nobody.

 

Larxene, as it turned out, did have some last words. “Yeah, f*** off. I’m not about die to some 14-Year-Old brat. Later.” And with that, she abruptly left. Sora was rather dumbfounded.

 

“But, I didn’t kill her… this can’t be right at all.” Donald and Goofy merely shrugged. “Ah well. I guess I’ll check on Naminé over there.”

 

 

 

Meanwhile, in the Castle’s lower levels, Lexaeus had managed to recover Vexen’s charred and abused body. As it turned out, Axel gave him a light singe. Nothing too serious. Vexen was just being a drama queen and made it look like he had died so that Sora would leave him alone.

 

“The good news,” Lexaeus began, sounding rather exasperated at having had to go and fetch the crispy scientist. “Is that there doesn’t appear to be any signs of sexual abuse.”

 

“Well that’s a relief. I guess that means Axel didn’t rape him like he kept threatening he would.” Zexion murmured, eyeing Vexen’s wounds with a critical eye. “Can he stand?”

 

Lexaeus shrugged. “He screams every time I try to put him on his feet. I decided to just leave it alone.” At this, Vexen huffed his blackened lips, opening his eyes to stare at the ceiling from his examination table, where Lexaeus had laid him.

 

“You try standing with enflamed, super-sensitive toes, and tell me how YOU like it! Stupid Axel and his stupid fire. I swear, the lengths we go to in order to capture traitors.”

 

“You know Xemnas.” Zexion responded, rifling through a first-aid kit. “Innocent until proven guilty. We can’t just reign in Larxene and Marluxia for suspected treason. It just has to be proven. Justice and all that bull crap. Really though, I think he’s just too bent on the whole “Organization XIII” name, and wouldn’t want any members going missing because it would upset that name.”

 

“We got along just fine when we were just “The Organization”!” Vexen snapped back.

 

“Oh, shut up Vexen. You’re being a drama queen again.” Zexion replied. “And this is going to sting.” He then proceeded to force Lexaeus to rub Vexen’s body down with some sort of medicinal spray, causing Vexen to scream out in pain multiple times while Zexion merely chucked, mumbling ‘Yes’ to himself.

 

 

 

At the same time that this was going on, Riku was proceeding through the Castle’s Basement levels, which were oddly well-lit considering that Zexion and company preferred to spend time in the dark. Riku was also being accompanied by a man dressed in red clothing. He called himself DiZ, which was a silly acronym, and Riku had come to the conclusion that he was a crazy old man.

 

“And then my youngest nephew told me he was a Homosexual. Of course, this was before being a homosexual was ‘cool’, so I made sure to inform him that he would be in grave danger from the forces of darkness. They had yet to elect Mayor D-Light Shadowberg as leader of the Heartless, you see, and the mayor at the time, Mayor Constan Naggle Angelstarson was a very outspoken homophobe. It was national policy in the Realm of Darkness to attack homosexuals and take their hearts. I tried to warn my nephew of this, but he refused, claiming something or other about Gum-Drop Ships, which were apparently flying legos. And that reminds me, did you know I’m not scheduled to go insane for another five days ago?”

 

Riku was growing quite tired of DiZ’s constant rambling, so he stuffed him in a box for safe-keeping. Just for the time being, of course.

 

 

 

In the upper levels of the Castle, Sora had managed to rescue Naminé and defeat Axel and Marluxia, two powerful Nobodies, much like he did Larxene. How he managed to do so with his stick-arms and prepubescent form is a mystery we shall never solve. However, much like Larxene, the both of them slunk away after their defeat, rather than dying properly. It was really quite troublesome, and was beginning to affect his manly pride. Or at least, what little he had.

 

“They’re supposed to die! What the hell, man?” Goofy tried to calm Sora down, but Sora just punched him in the face, telling him to ‘Back off, man.’

 

 

 

Axel later went down to the Basement of Castle Oblivion, where our Heroes currently found themselves in case you’re unfamiliar with the premise of this tale, and began to report that Sora was now asleep at the top of the Castle.

 

Vexen was being a really jabroniy b****, though. “Get out of here! You burned my beautiful body! I shall never forgive you as long as you live, Axel! NEVER! Make sure you remember that, because I mean it, and it’ll probably be important way later!”

 

Axel ignored Vexen’s absurd attempts at foreshadowing and instead focused on Zexion, because he was a pretty cool guy who used illusions and didn’t afraid of anything. “Anyway, Marluxia and Larxene went back to The Castle That Never Was, and Xemnas is probably gonna punish them for their misdeeds. But he obviously won’t kill them, due to his hang-ups on the number 13.”

 

Zexion nodded and sighed. “Indeed. Well s***. I guess that means we can go ahead and dispose of Riku. Also, does anyone know where that Replica ran off to? That thing that Vexen made.”

 

Lexaeus raised his hand, looking very eager, so Zexion called on him. After a brief moment of cheering, Lexaeus cleared his throat and regained his composure, calmly addressing the Cloaked Schemer. “Naminé broke its brain. I’m pretty Larxene ran off with it after she lost to Sora though. She’s probably raping it.”

 

Zexion stared blankly for a moment. “Charming.”

 

 

 

Riku could sense that he was nearly at the top of the basement floors. Something just told him. These strong feelings never steered him wrong, either. After all, he had had a strong feeling that Maleficent had only the best intentions, and look how that worked out!

 

However, to interrupt his thought of self-love mixed with eternal self-loathing (because c’mon, it’s Riku), Zexion had suddenly appeared. “Hello there. My name is Zexion. In life I carried the name Ienzo. It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance. Would you like to go to the Destiny Islands? It’s a fantastic place full of candy, and Kairi. I’m sure that interests you. Here, play with this.” After his bit of exposition, he tossed a card at Riku.

 

Riku, being the dumbass that he is, happily jumped into the next room using his fancy new Island card, and was happily brought to the Destiny Islands. Of course, that happiness was short-lived when Zexion appeared again and started calling Riku names.

 

Riku started to cry. But it was alright, because Zexion said he was sorry.

 

“…Not.”

 

And then Riku got mad. However, he was trapped inside some light after that, because Zexion is a Gee and can imitate Sora. But Naminé, who loves many things, but none more than foiling, chose that moment to appear and speak to Riku, and foil Zexion’s plans.

 

“Hey Riku. Hi, it’s me, Kairi. I’m not actually Kairi, but hey, you can’t tell the difference because I’m in disguise. Moving on. Stop being a candy ass, scaredy b**** and use the Darkness. Light and Darkness exist in you as a balance for a reason. So quit your boo-hooing and fight back.”

 

After Naminé’s brief pep-talk, Riku busted out of the Light using some of his Darkness and then cut across Zexion’s chest. It was totally unexpected and Zexion had dropped his guard. That’s his story and he’s sticking to it.

 

Riku then battled Zexion in the most epic way you can possibly fight someone while wearing a dress. But just as he was about to land the finishing blow, Zexion did some crazy s*** with his powers of Illusion and brought out the Darkness in Riku’s Heart.

 

Riku was now staring at the one and only Ansem, Seeker of Darkness (but not the one and only Ansem, because there are a few of those).

 

“Whoa whoa whoa, did you just pull Ansem out of my heart?” Riku asked incredulously.

 

“Yeah, apparently I can do that.” Was Zexion’s casual reply.

 

Ansem seemed very satisfied with himself, grinning like a preening peacock.

 

“Wow, look at him. He’s grinning like a preening peacock.” Riku exclaimed.

 

“That simile was dumb and so are you.” Zexion said, shaking his head at Riku.

 

So then Zexion made Ansem fight Riku, because he had summoned him by stealing Ansem’s Soul Card, so apparently that made him Zexion’s slave. What is a Soul Card, you ask? Why, it’s a person’s soul. Put into card form. Because this is Kingdom Hearts and that sort of thing can happen. Got a problem with that?

 

In any case, Ansem and Zexion both somehow failed to defeat Riku, but they happily escaped later, when Zexion felt he had been humiliated enough by a boy in a skirt.

 

Riku was pretty bummed that he hadn’t killed either of them, but was satisfied enough about his victory that he went on his merry way up the castle until he eventually came across a room with a bunch of pods in it (on the way he had managed to pass a random room with a sleeping, comatose kid in it, but he didn’t pay that any attention). Walking into the room with the pods, he saw a girl dressed in a skimpy white dress. She would probably be a knockout in a year or two. Not that Riku would really notice. He was far too preoccupied with his nightmares of Ansem’s pedophilia to engage in any kind of normal relationship with anyone.

 

“Oh, you’re here.” The girl remarked in surprise. “That was faster than expected.”

 

“You were expecting me?”

 

“Yeah-huh. Anyway, I’m Naminé, and Sora and his friends are sleeping in those pods there. I screwed with their memories, so I kinda gotta fix the s*** I did.”

 

“Understandable.” Riku clearly saw nothing out of the ordinary with this situation.

 

DiZ chose that moment to burst out of the box Riku had stuffed him in. “I am a scientist! Allow me to take the boy to my lab, where he shall be safe from the Organization, and their wicked, rapey ways.”

 

This was mutually agreed upon, and so it was done.

 

 

Meanwhile, the defeated members of The Organization (except for Lexaeus, who had not done any fighting) all slinked back to their hideout in The World That Never Was, prepared to be chastised by Xemnas for failing to defeat Riku or capture Sora. However, as luck would have it, Xemnas was far too preoccupied with punishing Marluxia and Larxene for their treachery to care about the others.

 

“Larxene, I am taking away your television privileges.”

 

“Oh f*** you!”

 

“And Marluxia, no more nail polish.”

 

Marluxia openly bawled his eyes out.

 

Roxas watched the proceedings with abstract curiosity, but then paid it no mind as he went back to eating ice cream and playing video games with Xion. Axel joined them soon after, happy to be home. But then one day Xion kinda went axe-crazy and started stabbing anyone she could find with a cleaver, so Xemnas made her fuse with Roxas and put a stop to all that nonsense.

 

 

 

Some time later, about a year to be exact, Sora had awoken in DiZ’s laboratory. DiZ had instructed Riku to try and reign in Roxas, since he was Sora’s nobody, in an attempt to help hasten Sora’s awakening. Unfortunately, Riku never succeeded in getting Roxas alone, as he was being constantly backed up by his homies, Axel and Saïx, who had taken an uncharacteristic liking to the boy.

 

So DiZ asked Naminé to use some witchcraft she had learned out of a Heathen Tome to supply Sora with some new, pretend memories to fill the small holes here and there. Thus, Sora succeeded in awakening without Roxas.

 

Sora then proceeded to go on an amazing adventure, meeting up with all his old friends, making new ones, and attempting to put a stop to Organization XIII’s dastardly plans for creating Kingdom Hearts.

 

DiZ had apparently gone completely off the deep end at some point during the adventure, and attacked Kingdom Hearts with a Nuclear Warhead he had invented. This resulted in an explosion, harshly damaging Kingdom Hearts and sending DiZ spiraling off into the Dark Meridian for some reason.

 

Meanwhile, Sora advanced through the worlds and defeated several members of Organization XIII, although each of them just refused to die, always managing to escape before the final curtain was dropped on their life expectancy. Sora swore often during these periods of times, and often subjected his Zoo Friends to physical abuse as a vent for his angsty, teenaged rage.

 

Eventually, Sora had given even Roxas quite the thrashing, so he decided to back off and go chill with Axel. The two ended up playing video games during the entire time Sora was in The World That Never Was, completely ignoring the Final Battle raging nearby.

 

Speaking of, Sora had eventually reached Xemnas, the leader of Organization XIII, and the two met a massive, climactic struggle. However, Sora eventually won, due to his extremely thick and powerful Plot Armor, and Xemnas crouched, defeated.

 

“And NOW, I will FINALLY kill one of you guys!” Sora exclaimed with maniacal exuberance. However, just then, reason struck a chord in his Sora Mind. “Wait a sec… all you guys want is to get hearts, so that you can be complete again. That’s actually not so bad. You just went about this in a very wrong way. I mean, couldn’t you have just ASKED me?”

 

Xemnas thought about this, and realized he had been kind of stupid. “Well, then…” he began, standing up and clearing his throat. “Sora, would you please help us complete Kingdom Hearts by Killing Heartless for us, so that we can become whole again?” Xemnas asked, very politely.

 

Sora nodded his head. “Sure thing. Just let me do it at my own pace. And in return, you guys can’t do any more evil, alright?”

 

Xemnas nodded. “That sounds like a fair trade.”

 

Nearby, Larxene cursed loudly. “Ugh, can I at LEAST keep my bondage gear?”

 

Xemnas face-palmed. “Go to your room.”

 

 

And so it was that Sora and The Organization came to an understanding. Sora and his friends happily went back home, with Sora often visiting to hang out with his new best buddy Roxas, and The Organization settled into a sort of familial lifestyle while they awaited the eventual completion of Kingdom Hearts.

 

However, all was not well…

 

 

 

~~~ KINGDOM ~~~~ POWER ~~~~ SOUL ~~~~ PRAYER ~~~~ DOOR ~~~~ SIN ~~~

 

 

 

Marluxia stomped through The Castle That Never Was, obviously quite flustered. “How dare Xemnas! I give the kitchen the finest paint job imaginable, and he takes away my Flower Arrangement classes?! Injustice! Obscene! Unacceptable! Oh, I’m going to get my revenge on him one way or another…”

 

With thoughts of revenge on his mine, Marluxia began stalking the hallways towards Xemnas’ office. All I have to do is spy on him a bit, maybe get some blackmail. Heheh, perfect! I’ll make him sorry. The Graceful Assassin soon arrived at the office door, emptying out a nearby Vase of flowers all over the floor and pressing it against the door, his ear pressed against the vase to create an easy listening outlet.

 

“Sooooon, Kingdom Hearts. Very soon. You shall be complete…”

 

Ugh, he’s just talking to Kingdom Hearts again. Weirdo. Marluxia rolled his eyes, wondering how on earth Saïx and Xaldin ever put up with the man.

 

“And when that time comes, finally, I will ascend to Godhood and create this world anew. Hmhmhmhmm… and that foolish Keyblade Wielder will be the one to willingly help me do it.”

 

Marluxia’s eyes widened. So wide, the Pacific Ocean saw them and said “Dayamn!” He backed away from the door, dropping the Vase by accident as it crashed to the floor. Xemnas was… using Sora? Well, it was no real surprise. Marluxia had always suspected the man had never given up on his evil ways. But still, the rest of The Organization all thought they were just in this to get their hearts back! Well, Xaldin was kinda obsessed with just getting stronger, but nonetheless. Marluxia would have to tell them all right away!

 

However, just then the door burst open, and there stood Xemnas, Ethereal Blades in hand as he glared at Marluxia. “A fly on the wall now, hmm? I’m afraid you’ve discovered far too much, Marluxia.”

 

Marluxia guffawed, Z-Snapped, owned a runway in heels, struck a pose, and then pulled out his scythe. “Bring it, girlfriend!”

 

However, seeing Marluxia engage in these activities deeply upset Xemnas’s inner insecurities he obtained from Terra regarding pedophilic tendencies towards younger men like Riku, which were so deep-seated that they had to be repressed through a series of psychiatric sessions, but here they were being all dug back up and Xemnas was NOT a happy camper.

 

 

 

 

 

And so it was, in a blind fury, that he brutally murdered Marluxia. The Graceful Assassin’s body was found the next day inside one of the Kitchen Trash Cans, much to Demyx’s horror (the poor guy discovered him).

 

A funeral was soon held, with all of Marluxia’s friends and acquaintances in attendance. Xemnas was grinning evilly throughout the entire thing, but for some reason, no one paid him any attention.

 

Shortly afterward, Roxas and Naminé began dating, prompted to do so by Xaldin, who blurted out in a drunken moment of profound wisdom (at the funeral’s after party, because apparently Happiness should follow Death). The two spent their first date eating Ice Cream, and by sheer luck of the draw, they managed to win a trip on a cruise.

 

And so, on the dawn of the morrow, they will set off on their luxury liner, bringing with them a small group of friends. And disaster looms on the eve…

 

 

 

~~~ UNRAVEL ~~~~ MYSTERY ~~~~ ALTERNATIVE ~~~~ ZERO ~~~~ THE BEYOND ~~~

 

 

 

And so you have been introduced to this tale, a tale alike and yet so very different from the Age Old tale of the Boy and the Key. We, the watchers of things of this nature, can not even begin to predict what awaits the future of this continuity. For you see, it is only now happening, as we write this account of its events. But one thing is for certain. While the activities and happenings of this Universe have certainly caused the loss of some dear brain cells, it has also caused us to gain something. We are not yet sure of what, but a deeper mystery is at work here.

 

This account served as the first attempt to unravel the Heart of this mystery. There shall be more to come. And hopefully, by journey’s end, we will have found our meaning.

 

 

 

 

 

Haha yeah, part 1 rewrite. I suppose you want the other 4 parts then, huh? Well too bad. You gotta find em yourself. Me and Zex really don't care if you DO find them, but we highly doubt you will. Have fun with that b****es~

 

 

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Saturn of Elemia Newbie

Saturn of Elemia

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It's no surprise to me that it was pretty good (as the fond memories of the old Org.XIII RPs are still fairly fresh in my memory. Good times those were). Now if only I knew a little more about Kingdom Hearts - then I would probably appreciat it a lot more.

 

And yet you leave me on a cliffhanger? How cruel - and yet expected. =p

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Nexev Newbie

Nexev

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Just read it you dumbass.

YOu actually posted twice?

 

Is this going to resume or did you just want us to have you stroke your ego again?

 

 

It's good, it's funny, the plot is something allot of fans wanted to happen in the game, and the personalities match decently with at least Word of Dante.

 

 

Props to you and Zex if you wrote it.

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