Psyren: Second Calling { Accepting / Not Started } - OOC

[Guest Ixigo]

Magnet' date=' I'll wait until you finish your app to review it.

 

Ixigo, your application is very well written and played out, but I fear that there are a few... cliched points in it. From what I can see, she:

 

[list']a) has lost a parent at an early age,

b) killed repeatedly at an early age,

c) killed the other parent,

d) has a "broken bird" personality,

e) performs wetwork repeatedly,

f) is relatively emotionless,

g) and is proficient in many forms of weaponry.

 

Now, I'm sure a lot of this could be explained by her yakuza upbringing, but I feel that she can be fleshed out a bit more and could be made a bit more three-dimensional. I'm just not feeling it right now. Sorry. :/

 

So is my application rejected wholly, or just this character? Can I resubmit an edited application or - probably, as I don't really see how to add more depth into this one while sticking to the original theme I had in mind - submit a new one from scratch?

 

I'm not rejecting the character, nor your opportunity to RP here. If you'd like to revise her or make a new charry, by all means please do.

 

Oh, it seemed that the wording implied that my application was rejected. At any rate, I hear you about the issues you mentioned. I was trying to build upon some key points that exactly contrast the emotionless murderer persona, such as phobias and psychological instability - but I guess it didn't come off exactly like that in the application. I'll think about what I can improve to meet your expectations.

[Quiksilver]

So, Rinne, am I accepted now? Or do I have to change more?

[bury the year]

So' date=' Rinne, am I accepted now? Or do I have to change more?

[/quote']

 

Sorry. Got no time to look over the changes yesterday.

 

willpower_9, ryuujinn, accepted.

 

[spoiler=magnet soldier - Hokkaido, Akihiko]1) I'm pretty sure Hokkaido is never used as a surname. Please change it. (If I make make a recommendation, how about Kaizuka (貝塚)? Uses some of the same sounds.

2) What, is he a delinquent? The appearance with all the 666s and stuff like that greatly clashes with his personality, especially because Japan does emphasize conformity in society.

3) Also, why would a "nice kid" need a knife?

4) Finally, he never took the phone quiz. That's a major plot point, man!

 

[spoiler=Kuroda Naoki - Sugita, Atsushi]1) Just a bit worried about the yellow eyes. Remember, Psyren plays most things realistically.

2) Like the above, he never took the phone quiz.

 

[Magnet Soldier]

1, I got the hokkaido Surname of a website I found on google. But if you dont like it, I'll take The Kaizaku.

2) Sorry, I've got my hands full. I've been booked with homework. Kinda making me miss things. I'll change the appearence.

3) I dunno. I was going to edit fighting style anyway.

[bury the year]

1' date=' I got the hokkaido Surname of a website I found on google. But if you dont like it, I'll take The Kaizaku.

2) Sorry, I've got my hands full. I've been booked with homework. Kinda making me miss things. I'll change the appearence.

3) I dunno. I was going to edit fighting style anyway.

[/quote']

 

Good now. Accepted~

 

EDIT: Actually, you didn't change the surname. Sorry. Please fix that before I can accept. Dx

[Magnet Soldier]

Changed it.

[bury the year]

Better. It's Kaizuka, not Kaizaku, but I'll change that for you. Accepted~

 

And with that, spots for the first mission are CLOSED. Once I get off of my lazy ass and finish my app up, I will start the IC RP thread.

[The Dragon Duelist]

Rinne did you get my message?

[bury the year]

Yes, I did, and I'm not sure how to deal with it now.

 

Finished my app, so the IC thread will be up soon.

[Quiksilver]

Rinne, I have a question. What shall I do while you four do the first mission? Should I start poking around, looking for info about Psyren? (By the way, I read up about Psyren, so I know all about it.) I'm a little iffy about it though, because I don't know how much information to release and when. :?

[bury the year]

Rinne' date=' I have a question. What shall I do while you four do the first mission? Should I start poking around, looking for info about Psyren? (By the way, I read up about Psyren, so I know all about it.) I'm a little iffy about it though, because I don't know how much information to release and when. :?

[/quote']

 

Nyeh? I was assuming you were coming on the first mission. The first 5 people were supposed to go on it, after all.

[Quiksilver]

Rinne' date=' I have a question. What shall I do while you four do the first mission? Should I start poking around, looking for info about Psyren? (By the way, I read up about Psyren, so I know all about it.) I'm a little iffy about it though, because I don't know how much information to release and when. :?

[/quote']

 

Nyeh? I was assuming you were coming on the first mission. The first 5 people were supposed to go on it, after all.

 

...In your PM, you said I would dig up background info...I thought that would mean I wouldn't go to Psyren...Okay, so I'm coming to Psyren, but will I still dig up background info when we come back to present time?

[bury the year]

Rinne' date=' I have a question. What shall I do while you four do the first mission? Should I start poking around, looking for info about Psyren? (By the way, I read up about Psyren, so I know all about it.) I'm a little iffy about it though, because I don't know how much information to release and when. :?

[/quote']

 

Nyeh? I was assuming you were coming on the first mission. The first 5 people were supposed to go on it, after all.

 

...In your PM, you said I would dig up background info...I thought that would mean I wouldn't go to Psyren...Okay, so I'm coming to Psyren, but will I still dig up background info when we come back to present time?

 

Yeah, that's cool. Just make sure to post as you're in Psyren.

 

Also, IC thread is finally up. Includes post order, so read before you write~

[bury the year]

Bump for more apps? We'll be having more spots available after this mission concludes, people. Also, I'm almost done with my post~

[bury the year]

Treat this as a bump, but also an FYI.

 

My laptop started going on the fritz (shutting down a few seconds after booting it up randomly) and I don't know what's going on or how long it will last. Therefore, until I can fix it/get it to pass/kick it out, I have a feeling I won't be on YCM regularly anytime soon.

 

So, if I don't post for some reason, here it is. :3

[Quiksilver]

It's been 48 hours. Following the rules Rinne set, I'm obligated to skip over Rinne and post. So I am. Just so you guys know.

[bury the year]

Meh. This is turning into more of an obligation than a fun thing for me, and it seems the same for everyone else due to the lack of responses. LOCKING.