YCM Poetry Corner...

[Jack of All Spades]

The Red and Blue War

On a summer's eve a war was declared,

The Reds and The Blues had enough,

On the dark plains of the Valley of Hades they fared,

the ragged soldiers had it rough.

 

Armand, the General of The Blues, took the left flank,

Steven, the General of The Reds, took the right,

Suddenly from nowhere, a gunshot rang,

and so began the fight.

 

The Reds took to the bunkers and threw their grenades,

While the Blues charged forward, rifles in hand,

that epic war in the Valley of Hades,

founded on things we don't understand.

 

The Reds were attacked by the Blues and Armand,

The Blues were attacked by the Reds and Steven,

they took out civillians, children, and a farmhand,

the civillians attacked the Reds and Blues to get even.

 

Thousands of lives were lost that day,

in a battle founded on hate.

The remaining Reds and Blues, years later, formed Purple,

we lost ourselves to a cruel and wicked fate.

[Bassa]

Thanks, I will add that in a minute.

[Dаrkrai]

District of Paris.

 

The districts of Paris, a quiet place yet filled with all the hustle and bustle of normal city life,

The districts of Paris, easy to get shot with an echoing 'BANG!',

Yet at the time things move forward with colour without even giving it a second thought,

The districts of Paris, denies you the freedom to speak,

The districts of Paris,

Everyone hears you scream and yet no one listens. The districts of Paris, who is next for the violent take?

 

And with the city lights blaring all around, shimmering and blurring past and through your eyes,

One can only wonder who is next for this toll that is, the district of Paris.

 

- Something I wrote a long time ago while living in Paris. ;D

[Bassa]

Thanks, the editor has gone funny, I will add those two poems when it is working again.

[Sаmurai]

This is a song but in a sense songs are poems, so I will post it.

 

(Translation next to the dash points for those who do not understand Jamaican idiolect.

 

King in the blind mans country

 

Verse:

 

Take for granted what you have,

Wish for more and get more,

You may be the King in the blind man’s country, - You may be rich in a poor man's country.

But the blind man is the country the king dominates,

 

Chorus:

 

One eye man king in blind man country, - No matter how bad you have it there is always someone worse off then yourself.

One eye man king in blind man country

 

Bridge:

 

You just see and blind, hear and deaf, - To not get involved you shut your eyes and close off your ears.

But the country is the people which reside,

And as the king dominates the people will join hand and hand

Singing “I and I will not surrender”

Thousands of souls flying like humming birds,

King stays to the ground while the people soar,

 

Chorus:

 

It just one eye man king in blind man country,

Just one eye man king in blind man country,

 

Verse:

 

Thousands of souls flying like humming birds,

King stays to the ground while the people soar.

[Umbra]

The Tragedy of Nathan Bramsbury

or

Life Ain't Easy (When You're Immortal)

 

As the centuries pass by

passing leaves in an autumn storm

love will come and go

as everything will die

 

As you all have learned

there is an exception to every rule

one man that faced the wind

when all the leaves had burned

 

The man that lives forever

who never lived the way he should

the man was Nathan Bramsbury

who made a deal most clever

 

He met the prince of lies

on a cold autumn day

He made a hellish bargain

with the devil, in disguise

 

For the love of his beloved

Nathan Bramsbury sold his soul

He'd have no afterlife

and he would never go unloved

 

The devil did his part

and soon they fell in love

married, and had children

the devil's flame in her heart

 

As the years went by,

she started to turn gray

while Nathan still was young

as he could never die

 

He cried at her grave

once again alone

he traveled from his home

with nothing left to crave

 

The devil still stayed true

to the deal they'd made

if Nathan fell in love

they would always do so, too

 

Nathan couldn't stand

crying by another grave

He traveled to the sunrise

where the Middle Sea met the holy land

 

He walked along the shore

Spoke a few last words

He went under the surface

where he would forever be

 

At the ocean floor

Bramsbury still walks

Crying tears of salt water

his scream a thunder's roar

 

He grew a beard of kelp

As he walked through empty space

deprived of mind and thought

he only sought the devil's help

 

As the centuries went by

he scavenged all the ocean floor

he found the gates of Hell

and finally could die

 

[Bassa]

Thanks, I will add them later.

[Yankee]

I'll bump this =D

 

 

New poem, kind of meh...DX

 

 

That lunar being, so high, so high

It just makes me want to fly and fly

So beautiful I cry, I cry

As it rests up in the sky, the sky

 

That solar being so bright, so bright

It makes me feel like a kite, a kite,

Oh so beautiful a sight, a sight

Here all day, but gone tonight, tonight

 

Theat godess of life, so sweet, so sweet,

It just makes me want to tweet, to tweet,

So pretty, I want to meet, to meet,

The one who created the sheet, the sheet.

 

The Sun, the ocean, the moon, the moon

All three are so great, the crew, the crew,

So magnificent the view, the view

Oh but none compare to you, to you

 

 

So...yeah?

[Yang Xiao-Long]

Winter's Night

 

When the snow falls in bluish dues

and the moon shines in ceramic hues,

so begins a winter's wonderous night

in frosted lights anew.

 

When time falls, second by

second, each one as they lie

by each other; different than the last.

Unique, like every other snowflake.

 

When the moon has risen high

and all the sky gives out a sigh,

so begins a winter's wonderous night,

when the snow falls once again.

[Yang Xiao-Long]

Sorry in advance if I'm double-posting, I just needed to get this poem out.

 

 

Lost, Like Those In Space

 

Like astronauts in stars, I once had dreams.

But now, they're torn at the seams.

My heart, it used to be whole,

now, all it has is this hole.

 

And so I lie down, head on my pillow,

weeping more than the weeping willow.

I want to be able to breathe on my own;

all you gave me was dread that you'd sown.

 

Perhaps for this, I deserve a condemnation, yet

all I want now, is a one I yet to met.

And now all I have is a sky void of stars,

nothing else but space, not even a Mars.

 

For, like the astronauts, I had once these dreams.

But now, all I have is tears flowing down these seams.

Lost in space, these dreams forevermore;

for like raven, I quoth, "nevermore."

[Yankee]

Only They - Yankee

 

Only the righteous bleed

Only the good ones need

Only those who tend

Need all those who mend

Only the rightious bleed

 

Only the masters cry

Only the great ones die

Mother, father, sister, and brother

Only they will lay six feet under

Only the masters cry

 

Only the loving sing

Only they know that thing

Only the ones who cry, beg, and moan

Know the feeling of being alone

Only the righteous bleed

[Rokai Yuki]

This is dedicated to my old girlfriend, Morrigan.

 

The sky turned gray when you went away, and it would be blue if we could both start anew. But sadly, we cannot, and for that I'm distraught.

But I'll still dwell away on that old, ancient thought.

[Yang Xiao-Long]

Bridges

 

These bridges, that which span the flow of time.

These bridges, they are what defeat the ravages of time.

These bridges, they are what they are.

 

A spanning dimension that transcends that which we weave

as we go forth in the never-ending ebb and flow in the river of time.

Such is a bridge, that which spans the flow of time.

 

When the smiles above shine in brightest light,

they remain above bridges forevermore;

eternal, just like the stars you gave me so long ago.

 

These are what cross the hearts to free the soul within;

These bridges, that which span the flow of time.

Such is the power to transcend the limits of time.

 

What a beautiful bridge

to span this flow of time;

this bridge with bells that chime.

 

 

So what do you guys think? Discussion's allowed on this topic, you know.

[Bassa]

I will update now.

[chedbonlahor]

This was a poem I wrote last year I hope you like it:

 

The Dark Lord

 

 

Upon the breath of wind it came,

A village swamped in smoke and flame,

The force so violent, so untame

It left as quickly as it came.

 

Upon the breath of wind it went,

From the depths of hell, the storm was sent,

Those still wakeful wept and repent,

What foul omen here was meant.

 

From the wreckage; a boy appeared,

He realised, his heart’s one fear,

All that he loved and all he revered,

Fell foul to the harshness of death that neared.

 

With tear in eye, he bid adieu,

To all he once loved, all he knew,

To revive a beginning afresh and anew,

O’ goodness, how the boy young grew!

 

Second bound minutes and minute bound hours,

Were the weapons the young boy sought to empower,

An unstoppable force of wisdom and power

Is the constant flow of time which devours,

 

 

With time as his ally, the boy learned much,

How sword and shield are cold to the touch,

With age at his side, his journey began,

A boy no longer; reborn a man.

 

But all was not well in the depth of his soul,

As scars of youth had numbed it cold,

And inward demons clenched his heart

Old; his mind drew weary but his resolve ever bold.

 

Plagued by the past, his core distraught,

So a muse of fates permeated his thoughts,

So swiftly his sword and shield he sought,

And into hell-bound battle the bold man fought.

 

With helm upon head and sword at his right

Breast plate and helmet and armour shinned bright

A splendorous figure of wonder and light

Those facing this beacon were blinded in sight

 

Flashing forth with an almighty yell

His fire within scorched the fire of hell

Those bold enough to cross him fell

The source of his anger he sought to dispel

 

Yet as the proud man toiled and tried

His darkest feelings he could not hide

Strength was born from pain, inside

And the youngest boy within him cried

 

 

 

Dedicated to The Dark Lord of the Five Groups

09 March 2010

[Bassa]

Nice poem mate.

 

I will add it when I have sorted the spam stuff.

[Yankee]

I like how nobody said anything about my poem Dx

[Yang Xiao-Long]

I like how nobody said anything about my poem Dx

 

My poems get ignored as well...

 

I will, however, comment on yours.

 

You mispelled "righteous".

All in all, I really like the poem. The message it has is quite...I don't know how to say, but it hits home.

You did a really good job on it.

 

 

I did this poem a few months back. Hope everyone likes it.

 

A long time ago I saw the wind.

It was winding like a snake;

It sent a chill up the spine.

 

Recently, I heard the wind.

It told me of its travels;

It whispered to me the story of life.

 

Yesterday, I touched the wind.

It was as heavy as a grain of lead;

It was as soft as cotton's feather.

 

Today, I saw the wind.

It was the soul of a legend;

It waved hello as I said goodbye.

 

I was wrong that day.

I was gone with the wind.

[Bassa]

Sorry about not commenting, but I am really not good at poetry and me giving you advice on poems is like my brother giving football tips to David Beckham...It just doesn't work.

[RedRecker]

Are people in this thread looking for any literary criticism or is this just a place to share poetry? I am studying poetry for my degree so I could probably have a few things to say if people were interested.

[Yang Xiao-Long]

Are people in this thread looking for any literary criticism or is this just a place to share poetry? I am studying poetry for my degree so I could probably have a few things to say if people were interested.

 

This thread is for anything poetry I believe. If people want their poetry critiqued, they usually say so, but they usually don't get reviews.

 

Anyway, here's a poem I just wrote as of now (meaning on the spot poetry reply)

 

[spoiler=Poem]

To Sleep

 

As the night of eternal falls,

And the light of dawn does no call,

I close my eyes and sleep.

 

In this light of moon

Where I have but one boon,

I fall onto my pillow and sleep.

 

And so I go to sleep,

all without a sounding peep;

as the evening's dust flies from my pillow,

 

I close my eyes,

and I go to sleep.

 

 

 

Can I have this poem commented/criticized on?

[RedRecker]

To Sleep

 

As the night of eternal falls,

And the light of dawn does no call,

I close my eyes and sleep.

 

In this light of moon

Where I have but one boon,

I fall onto my pillow and sleep.

 

And so I go to sleep,

all without a sounding peep;

as the evening's dust flies from my pillow,

 

I close my eyes,

and I go to sleep.

 

By Shion Kaito

 

Structure

3 triplets (three line stanzas) and a couplet (two line stanza). The poem doesn't follow the conventional forms of these stanza lengths. A three line stanza normally carries a rhyme over all three lines whereas here only a rhyming couplet is found. A couplet normally includes rhyme but the end couplet of this poem does not. Overall, I don't think the stanza structure of the poem strengthens it particularly nor does it necessarily weaken it. However, I will say that its sound patterning is more akin to that of free verse and thus being slightly more 'free' in your stanza length and line length might have made this poem stronger.

 

Rhyme

The rhyme scheme is; [aab] [ccd] [eef] [gh]. Rhyme only exists in a single rhyming couplet across the three 3-line stanzas. Though one can see rhyme between "sleep" (stanza 1, line 3), "sleep" (stanza 2, line 3) and lines 1 and 2 of stanza 3, the rhyming scheme is not consistent and thus cannot be analysed as intentional rhyme. The poem itself gains little out of the inconsistency but does gain a little from the repetitive sound across this particular rhyme. If it had been patterned better, i.e; across stanzas (or within stanzas) at a consistent interval, then it might have strengthened the poem more than it currently does.

Feet and Metre

This is an aspect of poetry few people are conscious of when writing. A foot is a division of the syllable sounds across a line. This can vary between two and three syllables but feet consisting of two syllables are far more common. The most common feet are iambic (which is an unstressed syllable followed by a stressed one) and trochaic (which is a stressed syllable followed by an unstressed one). The metre of this poem is all over the place; it varies incredibly throughout the poem. This would normally not be an issue if this was written in free verse without attempting a regular rhyme scheme. But it is not in free verse and does attempt to rhyme, so it becomes a problem.

 

NOTE ON RHYME: CONSIDER THIS A STRONG RECOMMENDATION TO ANYONE WISHING TO PUT POETRY ON HERE. RHYME IS FAR MORE DIFFICULT TO DO WELL THAN MOST PEOPLE THINK. IT IS NOT SIMPLY A CASE OF ENDING A LINE WITH WORDS THAT MATCH IN SOUND. INTRODUCING RHYME TO A POEM MEANS YOU NEED TO BE CONSCIOUS OF THE SYLLABLE COUNT OF YOUR LINES, THE METRE THAT YOU USE, THE LENGTH OF YOUR STANZAS AND (UNLESS YOU ARE ATTEMPTING TO MAKE A POINT BY BREAKING TRADITIONS) YOU NEED TO KEEP IT CONSISTENT THROUGHOUT YOUR POEM. IF YOU WANT MY OPINION, PLEASE BREAK THIS INFATUATION WITH RHYME I SEE IN SO MANY PEOPLE WRITING POETRY THESE DAYS. THE DAYS WHEN POETRY HAD TO RHYME ARE LONG GONE. THE LATE 20TH CENTURY SAW THE RISE OF FREE VERSE AND IT IS A VERY EASY AND GOOD FORM TO USE FOR PRACTICING WRITING POETRY. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE DO NOT USE RHYME UNLESS YOU REALLY KNOW HOW TO USE IT. IT IS A DIFFICULT TECHNIQUE TO USE IN A MANNER THAT BOTH STRENGTHENS YOUR POEM AND GIVES RESPECT TO THE TRADITIONAL FORM OF RHYME. USING IT WITHOUT PROPER KNOWLEDGE NOT ONLY MAKES YOUR POEM LOOK CLUMSY, IT ALSO DISREGARDS LONG HELD TRADITIONS THAT SURROUND POETRY.

 

Apologies for the above lecture, but I think everyone wishing to add poetry here should keep it in mind. You are all entitled to your own opinions and are of course all free to write your poetry as you wish, but I think it would be wise to not just simply ignore what I have said. I do study poetry; I am not just some nut making stuff up, and if you welcome my advice and (rather harsh) criticism I may even be able to help you become better and more fluent poets (believe me, this is nothing compared to what I get from my lecturers).

 

Continuing with metre; I have written out how I see the syllable count and the stresses. (I should say now that there is no one way to read syllables and stresses in a poem. It is often up to debate and can differ as a result of dialects and accents and the like).

 

To Sleep

/ u / u u / u /

As the night of eternal falls, 8

/ u / u / / u /

And the light of dawn does no call, 8

u / u / u /

I close my eyes and sleep. 6

 

/ u / u /

In this light of moon 5

u / u / u /

Where I have but one boon, 6

u / u / u / / u /

I fall onto my pillow and sleep. 9

 

u / u / u /

And so I go to sleep, 6

u u / u u / /

all without a sounding peep; 7

/ u / / u / u u / u

as the evening's dust flies from my pillow, 10

 

u / u /

I close my eyes, 4

/ u / u /

and I go to sleep. 5

 

(the numbers at the side are the number of syllables in that line)

 

Now, before you ask what's with all the /'s and u's, above each line is the stress marks. A (/) is a stressed syllable and A (u) is an unstressed one. As you may or may not be able to tell, it is fairly irregular and as I earlier mentioned this would not have been much of a problem if the poem didn't try to rhyme so consistently. Now, of course, it's not all bad. Some instances of stress match the poem better than others. The first line of the last stanza for example, "I close my eyes" uses iambic metre and it fits to the poem really well. Iambic metre tends to slow a poem down a bit which would suit a poem like this. The line straight after, "and I go to sleep" however, is trochaic. Trochaic metre tends to speed a poem up and is normally used in more nursery rhyme-like poems. It creates a sort of sing-a-long effect that really doesn't suit this poem. Now, if the poem was more about someone being unable to sleep or restless at night, this fluctuation in tone would suit it quite well. It, on the other hand, seems to be very simply a poem about someone sleeping at night. There is no indication of restlessness so the more sombre iambic metre is far better suited throughout.

 

Theme

Well, as I briefly mentioned above, this poem seems to be about someone sleeping at night. Its theme is simple, it doesn't stray away from it and it keeps itself to the point. This is exactly what you want in a poem and I will credit you very much for this. You can normally tell a good poem if you know what the poem is talking about as you're reading it. If a poem needs to be explained to you, then it is not doing its job properly and you're not doing your job as a poet to express yourself well enough. Yeah, there's not much more to say on this other than make sure you don't get too drawn in to using fancy language and poetic devices that you substitute meaning for it. Because unless you're a really good poet, being fancy with language will cost you dearly.

 

The tone of the poem seems rather dreary and dull. Now, this is not necessarily a criticism. If the poem is indeed about someone sleeping, then I think that the poem reflects that really well through tone. I think the poem should make the reader feel tired just reading it. It's ok for a poem to come across as a little boring if it helps the poem as a whole. Now, you may not like me saying the tone of your poem is boring, but I think it helps in this instance.

 

There are some bits that come across as slightly awkward. Lines 2, 5 and 8 in particular.

 

And the light of dawn does [no] call,

 

"Does no call" sounds awkward. It just doesn't work. "Does not call" would sound much better.

 

Where I have but one [boon]

 

“boon” – n – something extremely useful, helpful or beneficial.

Really? Is this really the word you want to use? I think it’s only there to force the rhyme; it doesn’t seem to contribute to the poem as a whole. A word like "gift" seems more appropriate. Boon tends to suggest a gift of some kind and if that is really the word you want to use I cannot seem to work out what the boon is. It seems to be his ability to sleep soundly but, if so, I would not describe that as a boon. I honestly think "gift" would work better.

 

all without a [sounding peep];

 

This again just sounds really awkward and doesn't work. Might I suggest "sound or peep" instead?

 

Capitalising your first lines is not consistent. Yes, I am going to be that picky.

 

Conclude:

The good bits:

Theme is to the point. Not eluded.

Repetition helps strengthen tone.

Tone, at times, helps poem’s theme.

 

The bad bits:

The Rhyme scheme.

Syllable count. I.e. Line length.

Metre.

 

How to improve:

Don’t focus on making a poem rhyme. Make it mean something first, then make it rhyme if you must.

Be aware of line length. I’m not expecting you to go too far and write an iambic pentameter sonnet in keeping with all the traditional rules and expectations but at the least don’t make your poem disjointed with one line that is so much longer than the others (especially if you wish to rhyme).

Spontaneous poetry may seem like a good idea at first but it certainly doesn’t make for good poetry. Really good poetry comes with time and I’d be more than happy to help you revise a poem into something really good.

 

I hope you appreciate my review.

[Yang Xiao-Long]

@RedRecker: Now that's quite a wall of text O.O

 

I use rhyme as a way to make spontaneous poetry sound "appealing", in a sense, to the ears. When I'm typing spontaneous poetry on the internet, I usually write it down in my poetry notebook and go over it for editting.

 

I know what "boon" means, but I meant it more in the context of "wish". I'll most likely change it now though; thanks for the review on that.

I'll edit "does no call".

On the note of meter, I never bother with having a meter in any of my poems. I suck at meter anyhow.

Your note on the theme is nearly perfect. What you forgot to catch is that "To Sleep" has an underlying theme. Can you find out what it is?

I'll admit that the rhyme scheme is off. I'll edit my poem and maybe in the near future I will show you the editted version.

 

I appreciate your review, RedRecker.

[Bassa]

Noticement:

 

Poem Feedback PM sent out.

[RedRecker]

@RedRecker: Now that's quite a wall of text O.O

 

I use rhyme as a way to make spontaneous poetry sound "appealing", in a sense, to the ears. When I'm typing spontaneous poetry on the internet, I usually write it down in my poetry notebook and go over it for editting.

 

I know what "boon" means, but I meant it more in the context of "wish". I'll most likely change it now though; thanks for the review on that.

I'll edit "does no call".

On the note of meter, I never bother with having a meter in any of my poems. I suck at meter anyhow.

Your note on the theme is nearly perfect. What you forgot to catch is that "To Sleep" has an underlying theme. Can you find out what it is?

I'll admit that the rhyme scheme is off. I'll edit my poem and maybe in the near future I will show you the editted version.

 

I appreciate your review, RedRecker.

 

You seem to be quite insistent on using rhyme. Not a bad thing mind you, if you want to rhyme then that's fine and I'll help you as best I can but you must understand it might take a while to make it really good (unless you're not too fussed about tweaking it a lot). My first main suggestion around rhyme would be (if you want to keep the same structure) is to adopt one of the following two rhyme schemes:

 

1st example: A very standard rhyme scheme with no rhyming across stanzas. [aaa] [bbb] [ccc] [dd]. Have all three 3-line stanzas with 3 end-line rhymes and finish with a rhyming couplet.

 

2nd example: Slightly modify the above to make; [aab] [ccb] [ddb] [eb]. Basically an improvement on what you have currently. Have a rhyming couplet in each 3-line stanza and end with a line that doesn't rhyme inside that stanza but instead rhymes with ALL the other end lines of each other stanza. What would be even better, given your theme, is to repeat the whole line. So for example, all the lines marked 'b' could be "I close my eyes and sleep." This line from your poem is a really strong one and would make the poem even stronger if it was repeated across it.

 

If you can pull it off, I'd really like to see you go for the second example. I think it would make your poem much stronger and you'll still be able to keep rhyme. Still change 'boon' though. When you mentioned you meant 'wish' I was thinking "why didn't you just say that then"? (other than because it doesn't rhyme with moon). Unfortunately, boon can't really act as a substitute for wish but I think 'wish' would suit the nature of the poem better than my suggestion of 'gift' would.

 

Now, your comment about metre.... Your poem will have metre in it regardless of whether you bother with it and regardless of whether or not you suck at it. Sucking at it is not a problem. I suck at it. I couldn't write you a poem with perfect metre despite all my knowledge of poetry. However, as mentioned before, you need to pay attention to the syllable count of your lines. One of the problems in your current poem is that lines 6 and 9 are 3 syllables longer than their previous lines. This breaks up what rhyme scheme you have as the reader is forced to change pace when reading the longer line. If you’re going to rhyme, make sure rhyming lines are fairly similar in syllable length and make sure lines (generally) aren't too long. For example, working with what you've got, anything between 6 to 8 syllables would be fine. Going slightly shorter to 5 is better than going longer to 9 and make sure to fit lines as closely as you can when they're in the same stanza.

 

Now, about theme...... I didn't forget to catch your underlying meaning, it's more that I couldn't see one; otherwise I'd have mentioned it. Now, if your poem has an underlying meaning and I, the reader, don't catch it, do you think that's my fault? Well, it's not. If you want to have an underlying meaning in your poem it needs to get across. It doesn't need to be glaringly obvious (that would contradict the nature of being underlying) but there is no point in being invisible either. If the poet is needed to explain the underlying meaning then it is pointless. Personally, I don't think your poem has enough substance to contain an underlying meaning. Saying so is inferring too much. One can talk about clichéd associations with sleep but that doesn't constitute an underlying meaning; that's playing word association. I DO think it is a good poem about sleep that needs a little work, but I would not say it has an underlying meaning. Well it may do to you, but it doesn't to me and in literary criticism it is what the reader can see in the poem that is important, not what the poet believes is in it.

 

[Lecture Alert!]

Now, once again, you may think me harsh. However, I am here to provide literary criticism (as I stated upon entry) and such is the nature of it. I do study poetry, I do study literary criticism and I know what I'm talking about. I will appear harsh because I am. I will appear authoritarian because that's what (real) criticism demands. In spite of this however, I want, most of all, to see you write poetry, improve, write better poetry, improve more. I understand some of you may not be looking for a poetry teacher. If so, then I can easily provide you with a far less critical and analytical review (more like modern criticism). I understand some of you may not think I have the right to lecture you about poetry. Well, for this I must say that; unless you've studied poetry at university, unless you are familiar with that level of poetry, unless you are a distinguished and published poet, I do have the right to lecture you about poetry. Your right is in whether or not you want to use what I have to offer.

 

PS: Shion Kaito, much of this reply/mini-lecture is aimed at people who may want me to comment on poetry in general. I am not singling you out specifically.