viserdragon Posted April 29, 2010 Report Share Posted April 29, 2010 :lol:I've posted up two more chapter's.Take a look. [spoiler=PokemonDX Taken To The Max Intro]Pokemon,mystical creatures that inhabit the earth along with humans. They have been around for as long as we humans if not longer. There sheer numbers are staggering and up to date there have been a total of 450 different species of Pokemon discovered and everyday more are being discovered so there exact number is uncertain. When a child reaches the age of 10 they are able to become a Pokemon Trainer and with there first Pokemon they travel around the world together. There adventurer's carry then through kinds of heartbreak and trouble,but also along the way they make many friends and wonderful memory's. One such trainers Ash Ketchum and his Pokemon partner Pikachu. Together the two of them have traveled to four different region's and have made many friends and enemy's along the way. They have faced a lot of danger together and have become close like brothers. But nothing could have prepared them for the dangers that fate has in store for them in there next journey. After traveling to a strange region known as the Jetix Region he soon meets a group of trainers and there mysterious leader who posses power's unlike anything he has ever seen in a human or Pokemon. After traveling with them for awhile the mysterious trainers power's go out of control and then one by one earth is hit by a wave of evil and disaster's seeking to destroy it. Now this journey will be a battle for more than gym badge's,but for the fate of the earth. Ash and co train to step up there Pokemon battle style and gain power's never before seen in the history of Pokemon. Will Ash and co be able to protect the planet and help combat the danger that ravage and seek to destroy the earth with power's and ability's they never thought possible. The planet will shake,galaxy's will howl and the universe just might crumble when fist clash in the ultimate battle between good and evil. This is Pokemon DX Taken To The Max!!! [spoiler= Chapter 6-Burny's Fire Soul] A little while later after everybody was done eating and everything was put away, Tanza brought a big black bag into the living room, sat it on the couch and laid a big folded piece of paper on the table. She opened it up on the table and they saw that it was a map. "Ok this were we'll be going, Pern Island. Our mission is to infiltrate blood wakes base and get back the egg. "Said Tanza. "I've heard of Pern Island. I hear it's beautiful in the winter. Anyway where is there base? "Asked Brock "To the east the is a series of islands called the Nether Storm Islands. My Intel says that there base is on island number four." said Tanza "How do we find their base? "asked Misty "There are paths that lead there, but when you do get there...."said Tanza She stopped, reached in to the backpack and brought out three poke'navs. She handed one to Misty and one to Brock. "These will show you the layout of the base and Ash I will send it to your Dimension Poke’dex." said Tanza "Ok! said Ash "Now what Pokémon do you have with you'll? " asked Tanza "Well I have my Starmie and Corsala." said Misty "I have my Steelix and Fortress." said Brock "I have Pikachu and Infernape." said Ash "Ok we'll need three Pokémon for this mission. Take these, you can borrow these Pokémon until the mission is over. "said Tanza and she threw a Pokémon to each of them. Misty and Brock caught there's but just as Ash was about to grab the poke’ball,Burny jumped up and swatted the poke'ball back to Tanza. "Hay! Why did you do that?" asked Ash "Burnn..Burnn..Burny..!!" said Burny pointing to Ash "I think Burny wants to battle you." said Tanza "Is that it, you want to battle?" asked Ash and Burny knotted. "Ok then!" said Ash and everybody went outside. "Why would Burny want to battle Ash? "asked Misty "Don't know, but it probably feels as if it owes Ash for saving him from that fire." said Brock "Yeap! And he's going to pay him back the best why it know's...by battling him. “said Tanza "You ready Pikachu? asked Ash and Pikachu jumped off his shoulder in front of him. "Pikaa!!" said Pikachu "Ok! Pikachu let's start with a Thunderbolt." said Ash Pikachu shot the thunderbolt at Burny, but before it hit Burny moved, headed straight for Pikachu and rammed him. "Wow he's fast!" said Misty "Yeah that was a very fast quick attack." said Brock "Pikachu are you ok?" asked Ash and Pikachu got back on its feet as Burny started running toward Pikachu again. "Pikachu use Iron Tail." said Ash Pikachu started running and jumping into the air with tail glowing. But just as they were about to collided Pikachu rolled sideways. "Now Pikachu use thunderbolt! "shouted Ash Pikachu hit Burny with the thunderbolt and it slammed him into the ground. "Nice one!" said Misty "Pikachu has gotten allot stronger since we left the sinnoh region." said Brock "Don't count Burny out yet." said Tanza as Burny started to glow red. All of a sudden it sprouted flames on its head as it stood back up. "Hay that's Burny's Fire Soul ability. said Brock Burny opened his mouth and just as Pikachu was about to hit him, he shot a stream of fire from his mouth that hit Pikachu. "No Pikachu!" shouted Ash "Now that’s power! Burny’s Fire Soul ability doubles the power of his fire type attacks and also raises his chance for a critical hit. "said Tanza "That flamethrower was devastating." said Misty as Pikachu struggled to get back to his feet. "Pika...Chu! "said Pikachu "Burnn...! " said Burny "Where not done yet! Pikachu use volt tackle! "shouted Ash Pikachu started running towards Burny and he was engulfed in a electrical energy. "Isn't that something, they know Volt Tackle. said Tanza to herself. Burny lunched a Flamethrower at Pikachu, but he went right through it, collided with Burny sending him rolling back. Ash took out a Poke'ball, threw it at Burny, then it hit him on the head and he disappeared into it. The poke'ball started to shake, then it stopped and the button on the front of it blinked red. "Alright I caught my very first Jetix Pokémon. Pikachu we caught a Burny!" said Ash as he picked up the poke'ball "Pikaa...Chu!!" said Pikachu jumping up and down in front of Ash. "Good job Ash! Now you have your third Pokémon." said Tanza. "Yeah I guess so." said Ash looking at the poke'ball. "Come on ,you, Pikachu and Burny can rest up before we leave." said Tanza and they all went into the house. They all sat around talking and relaxing for awhile, then an hour or two later it was time to go. “Now before we leave I’m going to ask everybody here one last time are you all sure you want to do this. This mission will be more dangerous than anything you’ve ever done. If you want to you can stay and I want hold it against you. “said Tanza “No thanks I’m going. I’ve never pass up anything that sounds this exciting.” said Ash “Pikaaa! “said Pikachu “If Ash is going then I’m going. He’ll need somebody to watch his back. “said Brock “And I’m going to watch their back. “said Misty “Alright I won’t you all to be very careful .”said Tanza “Hay Tanza I forgot to ask you how are we going to get to the island. said Brock "Hay Mew,Celebi can you teleport us to the island?" asked Tanza and they both knotted "Well that answered that. "said Brock "Lets do this!" said Ash "Pikaa! "said Pikachu "I'm ready! "said Misty "lets go." said Tanza Just then Mew and Celebi started to glow as they started to circle around until they were engulfed in a sphere of light. Tanza reached into the black bag pulled out four backpacks and handed one to each of them. "What's in these? "asked Misty "Just some supplies to help you. Now were about to land so be ready. "said Tanza "Just then they started to fall very fast. What's happening? "asked Misty "Something must've broke Mew and Celebi's concentration." said Tanza "Pikaa!" shouted Pikachu holding onto Ash's shoulder. "Hay grab onto each other. Misty give me your hand. "said Tanza She looked over and saw that Misty and Brock has passed out. Ash healed onto Pikachu until they both blacked out. TO BE CONTINUED..... [spoiler=Chapter 7-Undercover Brother,The Egg Recovered ]When Ash awoke he looked around and saw that he was in a forest, then he saw Pikachu and Brock on the ground unconscious and he went over to him. "Hay Pikachu, Brock are you ok? Wake up you two! "said Ash shaking them. "Piii...Ka?" said Pikachu sitting up. "Wow what happened? “asked Brock "I don't know. “said Ash "Were do you think we are? “asked Ash Brock stooded up and took out the poke'nav Tanza gave him earlier. "Well this poke'nav says were on the fourth neatherstorm island." said Brock "Now all we have to do is find Blood Wakes base. "said Ash "This is a pretty big island, it could be anywhere." said Brock "Pikaa! "said Pikachu "Or it could be right in front of us." said Ash and Pikachu pointing at a building in the middle of a meadow. "That might be it, but how will we know for sure if that’s it." said Brock "Just then a big door rose up on the side of the building and a truck that had cages upon cages of Pokémon on it went in. "This has to be the place, look at all of those poor Pokémon." said Ash as a man got out of the truck. He had on a black and blood red colored pants and a black shirt that had blood wake written on it. "Hay Ash, Pikachu come on.”said Brock Ash and Pikachu looked beside them, but Brock wasn't there. "Hay Brock where are you? said Ash "Over here!”said Brock Ash looked in the tall grass and saw Brock crawling toward the building. “Hay Brock wait up." said Ash "Chu?" said Pikachu "They crawled all the way up to the side of the building under a window and looked in. They saw four people unloading the cages of Pokémon onto a conveyor belt. "How do you suggest we get in?" said Brock as he looked at Ash who was looking around. "Hay I’ve got an idea!”said Ash "What is it?" asked Brock "Pi?" said Pikachu "First Pikachu will go knock on the door until they open it and see who it is. Second once they do Pikachu will distract all four of them and see if you can get them to chase you into the meadow. Meanwhile Brock and I will sneak in to find a place to hide, and then you lose them in the meadow and come back. " said Ash "That just might work! Let's do it! "said Brock "So what do you say Pikachu?”asked Ash "Pikaa!”said Pikachu "Ok just be careful not to let them catch you.”said Ash Pikachu knotted, ran to the door and knocked on it as hard as he could as Ash and Brock looked through the window. "Hay Paula answer that will you.”said one of the male Blood Wake members. "Yeah, yeah just a sec!”said Paula "She had long blond hair with blue eyes and peach colored skin. "Wow she's pretty!" said Brock She pushed a button and the door started to rise up. When the door was completely up she saw Pikachu. "Well I’ll be. Hay Melisa, Tod, Paula come look at this, it’s a Pikachu. "said Paula and the other three ran up to her. Melisa was a medium height white girl with long black hair. Tod was a medium height white boy with short blond hair and Paula was a medium height peach complex boy with medium blond hair. "Grab it!”shouted Tod He dived to grab Pikachu, but he jumped out of the way. Pikachu ran back a distance, stuck his tongue out, turned around slapped his butt and ran off. "Why you little rat. Come on! "said Melisa angerly,then they went chasing after Pikachu. "Come on.”said Brock they ran and dived under the door just as it closed. "We made it.”said Brock "Yeah, but I hope Pikachu will be ok.”said Ash "Don't worry he will be fine.”said Brock They looked around and saw that there was one cage left on the truck with a Pokémon in it. "Who's that Pokémon? said Ash and he pointed his Poke’dex at it. "Camus the tiny raptor Pokémon. Camus usually travels in packs of twenty or thirty at a time. They are really tough to train, because of their temper and few trainers dare try to train this vicious Pokémon, but those who mange to, end up with a very powerful and great Pokémon. "said the Poke’dex "Wow he sounds like a handful.”said Brock "Yea, but let’s get him out of here.”said Ash Ash went up to the cage but just as he was about to reach for it there was a knock at the window. They looked around and saw Pikachu standing at the window. Brock ran, opened it up, Pikachu jumped in and ran to Ash. "Pikaa!”said Pikachu "Good work!”said Ash "Let's hurry it want be long before they decide to give up looking and come back.”said Brock shutting the window. Ash reached for the cage door and opened it. The Camus looked at Ash, but it backed away snarling and growling. Well that's about all I can do for you since I don't feel like being ripped to shreads.When that door opens you just get out of here. We have to save those other pokemon.Let go Brock! "said Ash and headed toward a door at the back of the room. They slightly opened it and saw that it lead to a hallway and they went in. The Camus stepped out of the cage, looked at the window, then looked at the door.Ash, Pikachu and Brock got to the end of the hallway and peeked around the courners.They saw two men in lab coat walking up the hallway toward them. "Somebody's coming. “said Ash “What do we do? We have to hide. “said Brock looking for a place to hide. “Pika! “said Pikachu pointing at a vent. They pulled of the cover and crawled in just as the two men walked by. “Were do you think this vent goes. “said Ash “Don’t know but we have to keep moving. “said Brock They all crawled on when all of a sudden they started to fall. They kept falling until they broke through another vent and hit the floor. “Ouch! “said Ash “That hurt. “said Brock “Kaaa! “said Pikachu “I wonder were we now. They got up, looked around and saw cages upon cages of Pokémon stacked on each other. “Look at all these pokemon.”said Brock “This is no way to keep pokemon.Come on let’s get them out. “said Ash Ash and Pikachu ran to a cage that had a Growlithe in it. It looked at Ash and whimpered a bit. “Don’t worry well get you all out of here. “said Ash Just then the door knob started to turn and the door started to open. “Hide! “said Brock They all hid as two females in white lab coats stepped into the room.They turned around, took off their coats and they saw that it was Tanza and Misty. “That was close. “said Misty “Yeah! My heart is still racing. I don’t see how Timothy does it. “said Tanza “Hay Tanza, Misty what’s up. “said Ash “Pikaa. “said Pikachu “Over here. “said Brock they all said as they came out of hiding. “Hay Ash, Pikachu, Brock how did you’ll get down here? “asked Tanza “Chu. “said Pikachu pointing at the vent. “Alright that’s good thinking. “said Tanza “Well did you find the egg? “asked Brock "I have somebody on that, but for now what do you say we get these Pokémon out of these cages. We only have about a minute left to spare. “said Tanza “Ok! “They all said and they all started letting the Pokémon out of the cages. A few seconds later after all the Pokémon had been released somebody bolted thought the door and he was holding a egg case with a white egg in it that had ice blue spots on it. “Who are you? “asked Ash “Pikaaa! “said Pikachu “My name is Rodney, Rodney Wingard and I’m Timothy’s brother. “He said “Hold on Ash and Pikachu he’s with us. “said Tanza Ash looked at him and saw that he was tall, light skin, with medium length black hair and Tanza walked up to him. “Is that the egg? “asked Misty “Yea this is it, but we only have about sixteen seconds before the alarms go off. So I hope you have a way out of here Tanza. “Rodney said “Well seeing as we can’t go back the way we came and we have to get all of these Pokémon out of here…. “said Tanza ,but before she could finish a red light started to flash above the door as a alarm started to go off, then a voice started to speck over a intercom in the room. “There are intruders in the building and they have stolen a very valuable item from the labatory.Find them and get back the item at all cost the eliminate the intruders. “said the voice. “That doesn’t sound good. “said Ash “What now? “asked Rodney Tanza looked around and spotted the conveyor belt.“I got it! Ash,Misty,Brock I want you’ll to use that conveyor belt to get the Pokémon out of here. Rodney and I will distract them from coming into the unloading garage. “said Tanza and Rodney handed the egg case to Misty. “That will have to work. Just lock the door behind us when we leave. “said Rodney They left out the door and Misty locked the door behind them. “Alright now it’s our turn. Let’s let these Pokémon out of here. “Said Ash TO BE CONTINUED..... [spoiler= PokemonDX Taken To The Max A New Begining][spoiler=Season 1-A New Begining Content Table ]Chapter 1:A New Journey BeginsChapter 2:Arrival At Jetix,Old Friends ReuniteChapter 3:A Intense BattleChapter 4:Furious Flames,A Old FriendChapter 5:A True Mystery Known As TimothyChapter 6:Burny's Fire SoulChapter 7:Undercover Brother,The Egg RecoveredChapter 8:A Plan Gone Very WrongChapter 9:?Chapter 10:?Chapter 11:?Chapter 12:?Chapter 13:?Chapter 14:?Chapter 15:?Chapter 16:?Chapter 17:?Chapter 18:?Chapter 19:?Chapter 20:?Chapter 21:?Chapter 22:?Chapter 23:?Chapter 24:?Chapter 25:?Chapter 26:?Chapter 27:?Chapter 28:?Chapter 29:?Chapter 30:?Chapter 31:?Chapter 32:?Chapter 33:?Chapter 34:?Chapter 35:?Chapter 36:?Chapter 37:?Chapter 38:?Chapter 39:?Chapter 40:?Chapter 41:?Chapter 42:?Chapter 43:?Chapter 44:?Chapter 45:?Chpater 46:?Chapter 47:?Chapter 48:?Chapter 49:?Chapter 50:?Chapter 51:?Chapter 52:?Chapter 53:?Chapter 54:?Chapter 55:? [spoiler= PokemonXD Taken To The Max Theme Song]Title- Escape From The CityArtist/Source-Ted Poley,Tony Harnell :PYou'll hear the song when you click on the name of the song above. [spoiler=Chapter 1-A New Journey Begins]At the start of his journey Ash was just ten year old beginner Pokémon trainer who lived in Pallet Town, his hometown. After receiving Pikachu as his starter Pokémon from Professor Oak, Ash left Pallet Town to start his journey with a dream of one day becomeing a Poke'mon Master. Since his departure, Ash has traveled the World of Pokémon, competed in many challenges, and caught newer Pokémon. Ash has considerably improved his abilities as a trainer over the course of his journey. However, his earnestness and determination remain the same.Now after nearly a month of traning and resting the minds at home,Ash and Pikachu decide that it is time for them to start back travaling.And thoughthere recent defeat at the Sinnoh Pokémon League was still fresh in there mind they only had one goal in mind and that was to become as strong as possible. "Where do you think we should go to Pikachu?" asked Ash picking though a bunch of close he had laying out on his bed. "Pika?" said Pikachu "I don't know ether!" said Ash putting a few of the close in his backpack. "Hay Ash Proffessor Oak is on the phone."said Ash mother as she stood in the doorway. "Thanks mom!" said Ash and he ran to the phone. "Hello Ash and Pikachu good to see you again!How goes your training?" Proffessor Oak asked "Pikachu!" said Pikachu "Hi Proffessor Oak! Were acully done and we were just packing up to leave."said Ash "Well then i'm glad i caught you then.I want you to stop by lab." said Proffessor Oak "Alright we'll be there soon.Bye Proffessor Oak." said Ash as he hung up the phone. "Well Ash i won't you to be very careful where ever you go and when thing get to dangeruos please try not to be reckless."His mother said "Don't worry mom i'll be ok as long as i have Pikachu with me."said Ash "I packed the rest of your stuff along with a few supplies you might need and i packed you a lunch also." She said and she handed him the backpack. "Thanks again mom!" said Ash as he hugged her and then wave good bye as he and Pikachu walked down the road. As they walked on something stopped them dead in there tracks.They saw someone in a large black leather jacket,about six foot two,with long emerald green hair walking toward the woods that surround Pallet Town. "I wonder who that is? I've never seen him here befor." said Ash "Pika?" said Pikachu "Hey are you lost?" asked Ash They walked closer to him,but just as they got a couple of feet away from him he turned around.He had a caramel colored skin complextion and he stared at them with green eyes.He started to grin and chill went up and down there spines so Ash and Pikachu slowly started backing away. "There’s something not right about this guy!" said Ash "Chuu!" said Pikachu Just then there was a big gust of wind that came out of nowhere knocking Ash down. "Where did this wind come from?" said Ash holding onto Pikachu. Ash looked up and saw the guy standing there and he noticed a necklace around his neck. It had black beads, four black teeth and a dragon on it.Just then the wind stopped, and Ash got back up as the guy walked off and disappeared into the darkness of the woods. "That was intense. I wonder who was that guy though!" said Ash dusting himself off. "Ka?' said Pikachu "Yeah your right, but we better hurry on to Professor Oaks." said Ash Pikachu jumped on his shoulder, they hurried own and a few minutes later they arrived at Professor Oaks lab. They went in and saw Professor Oak looking though a folder at his desk. "Hey Professor Oak we're here." said Ash "Ahhh! Ash,Pikachu! I’m so glad you could make it!" said Professor Oak "Hey Ash and Pikachu!" said Tracy walking out of a back room. "Pika!"said Pikachu "Now Ash I have a mission for you!" said Professor Oak "Sure!" What is it? asked Ash "I need you to go to the Jetix Region and help get back a experimental pokémon that was stolen from an friend of mine." said Professor Oak "I've never heard of the Jetix Region before. Where’s that?" asked Ash "To the far east of the Sinnoh Region. I’m surprised you've never heard of it. It’s known for being the largest region in the world and for the large number of Pokémon that have been discovered there." said Professor Oak "Wow! Sounds exciting! When do we leave?" asked Ash "Pikaaaa!" said Pikachu "You will leave immediently!" said Professor Oak "I hear the Jetix Region has a lot of fun stuff to do. I might visit later one day." said Tracy "Me to! I hear they have one of the best Pokémon schools in the world.Oh yea speaking of that I know while your in the Jetix Region after you have finished your mission you just might won't to enter the there Pokémon League." said Professor Oak He passed Ash a small red and yellow box that had a blue crystal on the top of it. Ash grabed the box and started looking at it woundering what it was,though the blue crystal caught his eyes. "What is this thing?" asked Ash "It's your new Dimensional Poke'dex! That Poka’dex hold data on every Pokémon discovered in the Kanto,Johto,Hoenn,and Sinnoh Regions, along with data of Pokémon from the Jetix Region. It also comes with a map of the Jetix Region.I'm not sure what else it does,but to activate the poke'dex just put it on your arm."said Professor Oak Ash set its own his arm and all of a sudden two red bands strapped around his arm. "Pi!" said Pikachu "That's alsome!Now we're ready to go!" said Ash excitedly "Not yet!" said Professor Oak "What do you mean?" asked Ash "Your going to need more than one Pokémon to win battles in the Jetix Region, so i want you to take one more pokémon with you this time." said Professor Oak "Why?" asked Ash "Just to be safe i won't you to carry at least two Pokémon with you, because the wild Pokémon are unbelievably strong there. So you need to carry two Pokémon with you if you plan on capturing some pokémon from the Jetix Region." said Professor Oak "Are the wild Pokémon really that strong? What about the trainers how strong are they?" said Ash "You want to find out?" said a voice Ash turned around and saw a boy standing in the door. "Who are you?" asked Ash "My name is Jamie Moon and i over heard that you wanted to see how strong Jetix Region trainier are. If you really want to find out how strong a Jetix Region trainer is battle me then." said Jamie "Ok!" said Ash "Pikaa!" said Pikachu They all went outside and Tracy was there battle anouncer. "This battle be between trainer Ash and trainer Jamie. Each trainer will only be able to use one Pokémon each.Now trainers begin!" Shouted Tracy "Your up Pikachu." said Ash "Pika!" said Pikachu and he jumped out in front of Ash ready to battle. "Hum..." said Jamie staring at Ash and Pikachu, and then he took out a ultra ball and threw it. Let’s go Kerobolt." shouted Jamie Just then a dog like pokémon appeared that Ash had never seen before. It was about five foot six in height,with red eye's,long pointy ear's,red-orange fur on its snout that ran up its head and down it's back to and became long red-orange hair.The pokémon's front legs were black with red-orange flame designs,it also had a design of a face on it's shoulder and it's tail was shaped like a yellow spear at the end. "Pikaa!!" said Pikachu "Wow! Who is that poke'mon?" said Ash and he pointed the poke'dex at it. The poke'dex opened up and on the top part of the poke'dex was a screen where it showed a picture of the poke'mon. "Kerobolt the mirage poke'mon.Long ago Kerobolt were given the named Lightning Spirits due to the fact that this pokémon was born from a pokémon egg that was struck by lightning.The face like figures on Kerobolt shoulders are said to be a mutation of some kind."said the Poke'dex then it closed back up. "Now let us begin! Kerobolt use Quick Attack!" shouted Jamie and Letal started charging at Pikachu at high speed. "Quick Pikachu use Thunderbolt!" shouted Ash Pikachu shot a bolt of thunder at Kerobolt and it hit,but it didn't phase Kerobolt or slow him down. "Pika!'said Pikachu "No effect! Pikachu quick dodge!"said Ash "You Pikachu thunderbolt is strong Ash,but thanks to Kerobolts Energy Guard ability your Pikachu's special attacks do little to no damage."said Jamie But just as Pikachu was about to move Kerobolt hit Pikachu and sent him rolling back. "Are you ok Pikacu?" asked Ash Pikachu stood up,shook off the attack and then knotted his head. "Pikachu's thunderbolt didn't have much of an effect on him,which means his energy guard ability must have something to do with decreasing the damage of special attacks or something.So thunder won't do as much damage.All we have left is Volt Tackle and Iron Tail.Pikachu try Iron Tail!"shouted Ash Pikachu started running toward Kerobolt with his tail glowing and he jumped in the air. "Kerobolt use Quick Attack again." said Jamie Kerobolt charged toward Pikachu just as Pikachu swung his tail.Pikachu's tail hit Kerobolt on the head,but he was sent flying into the air. "No way! Not even Pikachu's Iron Tail has much of an effect.Guess that leaves me with no choice but to pull out all the stocks.Pikachu spin and use Volt tackle!" Ash shouted Pikachu started to spin as he fell back to eath toward Kerobolt and all of a sudden he was engulfed in electrical energy. Wow! His Pikachu knows Volt Tackle!This battle could've been interesting if i didn't have to go.So Kerobolt use Giga Impact!" said Jamie Kerobolt started running torward Pikachu and was covered in a blue energy.When Pikachu and Kerobolt finally collided, there was an explosion and Pikachu was sent fling back into a tree knocking him out.When the dust from the explosion settled Kerobolt was still standing with yellow electrical energy surging around its body. "Pikachu is unable to battle,Kerobolt wins which means Jamie wins the match." said Tracy as Ash ran to Pikachu an picked him up. "Are you alright Pikachu?" asked Ash Pikachu regained conciesness and knotted his head. "That was a nice battle." said Jamie "What,but we barly damaged Kerobolt at all."said Ash "Maybe not,but for you two to master volt tackle like you did is increadible! Your only the fourth person i know of who knows it volt tackle." said Jamie "Kiraa!"said Kerobolt knotting "Thanks!"said Ash "On a scale,i'm an average strong trainier,but ther are a few trainiers in the Jetix Region who would make me look like i just started battling." said Jamie "Well when you put it like that,that really makes me won't to go!" said Ash exciditly "Pikaa!" said Pikachu as he raised up. "That the spirit Ash and Pikachu let nothing scare you.Oh and by the way Jamie here is you Shinx back." said Proffessor Oak and he handed Jamie a poke'ball. "Welcome back Shinx!'said Jamie,then Shinx appeared out of the poke'ball. "Shinx!!Shinx!!" said the Shinx and it ran over to play with Kerobolt. "Well i'm sorry to be leaving now,but i have to get back home to my sister's." said Jamie "Hey Jamie since your headed back could you take Ash to T-Town and take him to the poka'gym there." asked Proffessor Oak "Sure." said Jamie "Now Ash once your there look for a female trainier named Tanza Nash and give her this letter.She is the owner the poka'gym so it should be pretty easy to find her.Once you give her that letter she'll tell you what to do." said Proffessor Oak "Ok!" said Ash "But still before do you won't to take another poke'mon with you?" asked Proffessor Oak "Humm...Well what do you think Jamie?" asked Ash "Well to be honest everybody that i know from a different region that traveled to the Jetix Region carried at least two poke'mon with them.So i guess carry Pikachu and one more of your pokemon." said Jamie "Well that's that then.Now who to choose?Who do you think Pikachu?" asked Ash "Pika..Pi!!" said Pikachu "I'll take Infernape with us on this journey." said Ash Tracy went back into the lab and came back out with a poke'ball.He handed it to Proffessor Oak and Proffessor Oak handed it to Ash,then he handed him a ticket. "Here's your ticket for the boat to take you to the Jetix Region.Now your Ready!" said Proffessor Oak Jamie,Ash and Pikachu walked away waving good-bye to Proffessor Oak and Tracy. Meanwhile somewhere far away in a underground base on a island in the Jetix region there people celebrating. "Now that we have the Timothy's experimental pokémon sir what do we do now?" asked a male voice "Now we wait. Timothy is bound to notice that one of his pokémon egg's is missing.When he does he'll come here looking for it and that's when i'll distroy him once and for all."said another male voice laughing "But sir know one has been able to defeat him.How do you plan an defeating him?"asked the first male voice "Well let's just say my machanical groudon will do the work for me.It's more powerful than any thing i've built befor capable of distroying and entire isand,but i'm going to use all that power to distroy Timothy."said the second male voice laughing "We finaly made it to Vermillion Port!" said Ash "Yeah! Hay Ash have you ever noticed that when your in a good conversation or something headed somewhere you seem to get there alot faster." said Jamie "You know something you have a good point there.When i was traveling with my friends it did seem like time flew a little faster when we were having fun." said Ash "Pi!" said Pikachu Just then it started to get dark and it started to thunder and lightning.The wind started to get stronger and then the groung started to shake. "Pikaaa!" shouted Pikachu "What's going on?" shouted Ash "I don't know!" said Jamie But just as quick as it stated it stopped and the sky turned blue again. "Well that was scary!" said Jamie "I wounder what caused it?" said Ash "Pi..Pi..Ka!" said Pikachu "I don't know but it's over now so let's go." said Jamie When they finally got on board the boat as it left port they saw the port getting farther and farther away till all they could see was the big blue ocean. "Piii..Kaaa..." said Pikachu sounding worried "I know what you mean." said Ash "What's wrong?" asked Jamie "I don't know.I just have a bad feeling that something bad is going to happen." said Ash "What do you mean?" asked Jamie "I don't know.I just have that feeling." said Ash "Hummm...Well it's getting dark.We should get some sleep." said Jamie "Sure." said Ash and they headed for there rooms. "Well maybe i'm feeling like this cause i'm tired,but i was feeling the same way when we saw the guy earlier today." said Ash "Pi!" said Pikachu "Yea!Me too!While looking into his eye's i don't know how,but all i could fell was darkness and emptyness." said Ash "Pika..Chu!" said Pikachu "Maybe your right so let's just consentrate on getting some sleep,so we can find that Tanza person tomorrow." said Ash They both laid down and went to sleep. To Be Continued...... [spoiler=Chapter 2-Arrival At Jetix,Old Friends Runite ] The next morning Ash, Pikachu and Jamie were up bright and early on the ships deck looking over the sea. "How'd you'll sleep?" asked Jamie "Pika!" said Pikachu "I sleep alright, but this mornings air is really refreashing." said Ash "Yeah! I like to get up early just to sit an enjoy it.It does wounders for one's health." said Jamie "I bet Infernape would love some of this fresh air as well, so come on out!" said Ash He threw up the poke'ball and out came Infernape. "Pikaa!" said Pikachu sitting on the boat rail. "Infer!" said Infernape smiling then he jumped on the rail. "That's a good idea! Kerobolt and Shinx will like it to.Come on out you two!" said Jamie and out came Kerobolt and Shinx. "Shinx!!Shinx!!" said Shinx "Kiraaaa." said Kerobolt "Hey Ash can I ask you a question?" asked Jamie "Sure." said Ash "Have you ever been in a battle were you had to fight for your life?" asked Jamie "Yeah more times than I can count. Why?" asked Ash "You just seem like the type of person who enjoy's life risking stuff." said Jamie "Sometimes." said Ash scraching his head "Pika." said Pikachu "Infernape. said Infernape Ash looked an saw that they were closing in on land. "We're nearly there." said Jamie "I'd better go pack up the rest of my stuff in my room." said Ash "Ok! We'll wait for you here until you get back." said Jamie Ash ran back to the cabin an packed up his stuff. When he got back he waited around until the boat docked and when it finally dock they got off.Ash looked around and saw a tall sign that said, WELCOME TO T-TOWN. "Come own the poke'gym is this way." said Jamie and he walked towards a big building. When Ash finally caught up with him he was standing by the large purple and black that had a large bilboard of a weight set on it and it said poke'mon gym on it. "Well this is the place and now I have to go. I guess I'll see you later." said Jamie standing beside the building's door. "You can count on it, because when i get stronger i want to challage you to another battle!" said Ash "Sure!" said Jamie They both shoke hands and Jamie walked off. "Well lets go in." said Ash "Pika!" said Pikachu "Infer!" said Infernape They went in an saw all people and all sorts of pokemon that Ash had never seen before. "Wow! This place is huge!" said Ash "Pikaaaa!" said Pikachu "Naaa!!" said Infernape and he ran into a crowd of people. "Hey Infernape come back here!" shouted Ash as he chased after Infernape. Ash walked through the crowd of people and they heard someone shout out his name. "Hay Ash!" shouted a voice "Pi..Ka?" said Pikachu "Yeah i heard it to.It sounded like Brock." said Ash They looked around an saw Brock standing beside a large weight set with a machamp lifting the weights and they ran to were he was. "Hey Ash and Pikachu long time no see." said Brock "Chuu!" said Pikachu "Good to see you to! What have you been up to?" asked Ash "Nothing much, i came here because i caught wind of a legendary poke'mon breeder staying in this region somewhere,so i came to find him or her. So what about you, what are you doing here here on Tonami Island?" asked Brock "Well Proffessor Oak sent me over here to find somebody to help with a mission.' said Ash "What's the mission?" asked Brock "Something about helping them to retrive a stolen expermental poke'mon." said Ash "Well did he say who?" asked Brock "Yeah,he told me to find somebody named Tanza,Tanza Wilder." said Ash "Oh well if it's Tanza your talking about i think she's about to battle in a little bit." said Brock "How do you know her?" asked Ash "Well to be honest i battled her not to long ago and got thrashed." said Brock "So why did you battle her?" asked Ash "She know's alot of good breeder's around here on tonami island,but she said that if i wanted to know who they were i would have to battle her.When i did i got creamed."said Brock "We had a battle yesterday and got thrashed as well." said Ash "Kaa."said Pikachu knotting his head Just then a group of trainers started to gather. "Hay whats going on Brock?" asked Ash "It must be Tanza's match,its about to start.Let's go!" said Brock "Ok! Pikachu,Infernape lets go!" said Ash Pikachu jumped on Ash's shoulder as Infernape followed them.They went behind other trainers up some stairs and came in a indoor gym. Ash and Brock went into the stands and sat down. "Wow! Look at all of the trainers here." said Ash "Yeah and most of them are ghost trainers here to watch Tanza's battle." said Brock "Is she really that good?" asked Ash "Yeap! Though out the region she's known for her mastery of raising and training ghost type poke'mons." said Brock "Pikaa! said Pikachu "Ferna!" said Infernape Just then lights went off though out the gym,then came back on and there was a woman standing in the center of the floor. "Wo!" said Ash "How is everybody today!" She shouted as the crowd cheered and clapped. "For those don't know me my name is Mary and I'll be your host for today's Ghost Master Brawl Battle and through its only one battle we know its going to be good! Am i right!" She shouted as then the crowd started to cheer and shout "Now to bring our trainers.On my left is the rising ghost trainers. Kenny!" she said and out walked a short blue haired boy,about five foot four,with peach skin and blue eye's wearing a full blue South Pole outfit. "With an impressive winning streak and some impressive poke'mon Kenny is the best canidate to take the win today,but will it be enuff to stop the winning streack of our current champion.Give it up for Tanza!" She shouted When she pointed to here right and out came a reddish haired woman,about five foot six light brown colored skin,with red eyes,wearing a black t-shirt and short black pants.The crowd went crazy cheering and shouting for her. "Wow! So thats Tanza!" said Ash "Yeap! Thats her." said Brock "Now each trainer is aloud to use only three poke'mon and any trainer can switch during battle.Now let the battle begin!" shouted Mary "Now Tanza i won't lose to you again like last year. I'm going to win!" said Kenny "Well we'll just have to see." said Tanza "All man i can tell this is going to be good!" said Ash "Just watch!" said Brock. TO BE CONTINUED...... [spoiler=Chapter 3-A Intense Battle]"Let's go Gengar!" said Kenny he threw a poke'ball and out came Gengar. "Pryo time to battle!" said Tanza and she trew out a poke'ball. Out poped a pokemon that was a like a clear ball of gas,but was wrapped in flames. "Wow! Who's that poke'mon?" said Ash and he pointed the poke'dex at it. "Pryo the flame ghost poke'mon.Pryo is a mixture of highly flameable gases that allow it to sprout flames around it's body that can reach tempetures of more than two hundred and fithy degress farinhight.This ghost pokemon also has a bit of a attitude and will burn anything that get's on it's nerve's." said the Poke'dex "Pryo is one of the poke'mon Tanza used to beat me with!" said Brock "Pika! said Pikachu "Ferna!" said Infernape "Now Gengar use Shadow Ball!" shouted Kenny Gengar started to create a ball of purple energy infront of him and shot it at Pryo. "Pryo dodge it and use Dark Pulse." said Tanza Pryo moved out of the way and it started to glow then it shot a ring of dark energy at Gengar. "Hurry and move then use Confuse Ray!" shouted Kenny Gengar flipped out of the way just as the attack hit the ground and out of the smoke Gengar shot a beam of energy at Pryo. It hit him and knocked him back into the wall. Pryo flouted back up but it keep running into the wall. "Pryo must've gotton confused,this could be over." said Ash "Not by a long shot." said Brock "Now gengar use another Shadow Ball to finish off Pryo!" shouted Kenny Gengar created another shadow ball and shot it at Pryo. "Pryo hurry use Dark Mind, then use Destiny Bond!" shouted Tanza Pryo started to glow just as Gengar's shadow ball hit Pryo there was a flash of purple energy that flew out of the smoke and hit Gengar knocking him back into the wall.When the smoke cleared both poke'mon were out cold. "Both Pryo and Gengar are unable to continue.The first battle ends in a draw."said Mary "How did Gengar lose to?" asked Ash "Well remember when Tanza told Pryo to use Dark Mind." said Brock "Yea,but what did it do?" asked Ash "Dark Mind is a dark type move that cures a poke'mon's status condition."said Brock "Oh so thats why she was able to use Destiny Bond before that attack hit." said Ash "And knowing that Pryo couldn't dodge that attack in time she used destiny bond which causes a instint ko to the other poke'mon when the user is ko'd." said Brock "Now that's planing! said Ash "Pikaa!!" said Pikachu "Infer!!"said Infernape "Gengar return! Nice work now let's go Sableye!" shouted Kenny he threw out his poke'ball and out popped a Sableye. "Pryo return.Now let's play Misdreavus!" said Tanza she threw her poke'ball out and a Misdreavus appeared. "Wow look at her Misdreavus! The pearls around its neck are blue instead of red." said Ash "Yea! It must be really rare to have a Misdreavus like that,since a Misdreavus is rare anyway." said Brock "Now we'll start this off with Perish Song Misdreavus!" said Tanza A black energy started to circle around Misdreavus and Sableye, then it withdrew into them. "Now they only have five turn's before they both faint." said Brock "What's she doing." said Ash to himself. "Let's try to end this before five turns." said Kenny "Sabbl." said Sableye "Now use Shadow Claw."said Kenny Sableye started running toward Misdreavus with it's claws glowing with a black energy. "Dodge then use Screech." said Tanza Sableye jumped up and slashed at Misdreavus, but she ducked then let out a ear percing screech that took Sableye down to his knees. "Now that's loud!" said Ash holding his ear's. "Pikaaaaa!" said Pikachu holding his ear's. "Fernaaa!" said Infernape holding his ear's. "Now Misdreavus use Shadow Ball." said Tanza Misdreavus created a ball of purple energy and shot it at Sableye,it hit him and knocked him against the wall. "Don't give up yet Sableye!"Kenny shouted as Sableye struggled to get back up to its feet. "Misdreavus use Ominus Wind."said Tanza Misdreavus started to glow,then shot a big gust of wind in the shape of a blade at Sableye. "Quick use Power Gem,then use Flatter."said Kenny Sableye's eyes started to glow, then lasers shot out of them and collided with the other attack. Sableye and Misdreavus started to glow them Misdreavus started going around in circles. " What just happened?" asked Ash "Kenny used the cover of the smoke and used a quick Flatter attack which confused Misdreavus."said Brock "Oh!"said Ash "Now Sableye use Nasty plot,then use Power Gem one more time."said Kenny "Isn't Nasty Plot a dark type move that raise's a poke'mon attack?" said Ash "Yea and if that power gem connects Tanza's Misdreavus is through." said Brock "Just then Misdreavus and Sableye both fainted. "Both Poke'mon are unable to battle. The second match ends in a draw as well!" said Mary "I guess that perish song that Tanza used earlier ended that battle." said Ash "Now it's time! Tanza is through playing around i bet." said Brock "Sableye return! Let's go Dusknoir."said Kenny Sableye disappeared into a poke'ball as he threw another one and a Dusknoir appereared infront of him. "Misdreavus return. Now let's finish this in one shot Haunter. said Tanza She threw out her poke'ball and a large Haunter appeared infront iof her. "Wo!! Look at the size of that Haunter! Its Huge!" said Ash Yea! 7'05" in size and a wooping 0.90lbs.Her Haunter is the largest of it's kind." said Brock "Pikaaaa!!" said Pikachu "Naaaa!!" said Infernape "Its been fun Kenny,but now it's time to end this.Haunter use Dark Burst!" said Tanza Haunter raised his hands above his head and started creating a energy ball between his hands. "Don't count us out yet.Dusknoir use Focused Blast!" shouted Kenny and Dusknoir started to create a ball of energy infront of him. "Now use Dark Burst."said Tanza and Haunter threw the ball at Dusknoir. "Dusknoir use Focused Blast!" shouted Kenny Dusknoir shot the blast and the two attacks collided. The wind from the two attacks created a shockwave that shook the entire stadium. "Wow! What power! You can just feel the power these two poke'mon have." said Mary Just then Haunters attack started to absorb Dusknoirs attack,it headed straight for Dusknoir and exploded on impact. When the dust settled Dusknoir was out cold. "Looks like Dusknoir is unable to battle. Haunter wins which means Tanza wins. Let's give a hand to our two competitors that gave us a great battle."said Mary and the crowd went wild screaming and cheering for Tanza and Kenny. "Now that was a alsome battle! What skills and power!" said Ash "Pika!! Pika!!" said Pikachu cheering. Ferna!! Ferna!!" said Infernape cheering. "It all comes down to raising and caring for your poke'mon in the end." said Brock to himself while clapping. "Now that our little brawl has come to a close let's give one more hand to Tanza the ghost master and Ghost trainer Kenny and all of our past competetors." said Mary and the crowd cheered and claped. "All you ghost trainers just remember to take good care of your poke'mon and maybe next year you could be the ghost master in next years ghost battle brawl! Good day and good-bye everybody!" said Mary and everyone applasued and cheered,then started to leave. Brock and Ash went to Tanza who was talking to her poke'mon. "Hay Tanza,Haunter,Misdeavus,Pryo!" Brock shouted "Oh hi Brock." said Tanza "Hunt!" said Haunter "Pry!" said Pryo "I've been watching your match and it alsome!" said Brock "Thanks!" said Tanza Then she looked down and saw Ash bent down, Misdreavus had his hand shaking it then she started playing with Pikachu and Infernape. "Who's your friend?" asked Tanza "My name is Ash." said Ash "Oh your Ash Ketchum from pallet town.You were recetly in the sinnoh poke'mon challange. Am i right?" asked Tanza "Yea how did you know?" asked Ash "Cynthia menched you when i called her looking for a strong trainier, but she said that you had already left for home. So i called Proffessor Oaks and left him a message." said Tanza Just then Kenny walked up to Tanza. "That was a good battle,but don't think i'll give up.I will win next year!" said Kenny and he held out his hand. " I dout it,but you can count on me being just as strong next year." said Tanza then they shook hands and Kenny walked off. "Hay let's get out of here." said Tanza "Were to?" asked Brock "To a friends house. said Tanza and they left. TO BE CONTINUED...... [spoiler=Chapter 4-Furious Flames,A Old Friend]"Hay Tanza can I ask you a question?" asked Ash "Sure." said Tanza "What is the experimental Pokémon that was stolen?" asked Ash "Well I’m not sure right now. The egg probably hasn't hatched yet." said Tanza "Egg! I thought we were looking for a Pokémon." said Ash "This egg holds the experimental Pokémon." said Tanza "Do you know who has it?" asked Brock "I'm pretty sure that Blood Wake has it." said Tanza "Blood Wake! Who's that?" asked Ash "Blood Wake is a criminal organization that steal Pokémon." said Tanza "Sounds like another Team Rocket,Aqua,Magma, and Galactic’s group." said Brock "Yea right! There nothing compared to Blood Wake. When they won't something they'll stop at nothing to get it. If you try to stop them and you’re not strong enough to fight them off you'd better run. I’ve heard they will kill anyone who tries to stop them without blinking. Team Rocket,Aqua,Magma, and Galactic only wish they were on the level of blood wake." said Tanza "Man they sound bad. Have you ever faced them before?" asked Brock "Well the good thing about blood wake is you don't see them as often like team rocket,magma,aqua or galactix,but me I’ve only seen them twice. “said Tanza "Have you had a battle with them?" asked Ash "Yeap!" said Tanza "Did you win?" asked Ash "Well the first time I won, but the second time I could've been killed because I got double team." said Tanza "The way you were battling you looked like you couldn't be stopped. Your Haunter looked very powerful. “said Ash "Maybe but I’m not that good. If you want a trainer who's pretty much unstoppable you should try battling Timothy." said Tanza. "Hay Tanza why did Cynthia recommend me for this mission. I know there are other strong trainers here so why me?"asked Ash "Well she told me of how you,Dawn,and Brock helped out Mesprit,Uxie,and Azelf to stop team galatixc and help save Palkia and Dialga.That how I made the choice to choose you Ash and running into Brock was a added bonus. “said Tanza "How can you base your choice off of just that?" asked Ash "Trust me Ash you are destined for great things and the fact that I ran into Brock only means he is suppose to help you on the way as he too is destined for greatness. Beside I think you and Timothy would get along pretty good. “said Tanza Just then Pikachu and Infernape stood up and put there nose's in the air as if they smelled something. "What wrong you two?" asked Ash "Pika!" said Pikachu "Ferna!" said Infernape then they and ran off into the woods. "Hey do you smell something?" asked Ash "Yeah! It smells like something I burning." said Brock "That's because something is. Look!" said Tanza They looked and saw that there was a huge fire burning wildly in the woods. "Where's Pikachu and Infernape?" said Ash then he heard Pikachu calling him. "Over there in that way." said Tanza pointing northeast into the woods. He ran into the woods and saw them over near a bush close to the fire and ran over to them. "Hay what did you'll find?" asked Ash "Pi." said Pikachu "Infer." said Infernape and they pointed at what looked like a Pokémon in the bushes. "Who's that Pokémon?" said Ash and he pointed the poke'dex at it. "Burny the flames bodied Pokémon. Burny's are very independent Pokémon that will travel looking for strong trainers to battle. During a battle Burny will sprout flame's from its head, when it does this it's fire attacks can reach dangerous temperatures of more than three hundred and sixty degrease farinhight." said the poke’dex Ash walked up to it, but just as he got close to it the Pokémon sneezed and a stream of fire shot from its mouth and into the fire. "So that's probably how the fire started." said Ash as he got close to it and put his hand on the Pokémon’s forehead. "Wow! your ice cold." said Ash he took of his jacket an laid it down, picked up the Pokémon, lauded it on the jacket and wrapped it up. "This should help a little. Pikachu, Infernape let's go!" said Ash Pikachu and Infernape knotted, but just as he was about to move forward a burning tree fell in front of them. "Oh no!!" said Ash "Pika!!" said Pikachu "Na!!" said Infernape Then Ash heard something snap he looked and saw that a burning tree had snapped behind them and was headed straight for then, but something flew and snapped the tree in two. "What was that?" said Ash "Hay Ash come on!"Brock shouted. "Ok! Pikachu, Infernape you two first." said Ash they knotted, then jumped and cleared the fire. Ash took a few steps back, started to run, then jumped an cleared the fire. "Nice jump!" said Tanza "Hay Ash are you alright?" asked Brock "Yea, but we would've been done for if something didn't snap that tree." said Ash "Oh Ash you never could do anything right without me." said a voice then Ash looked up and saw Misty. "Thanks! It's good to see you again." said Ash "You to, but what's that in your jacket?" asked Misty "I think it's what caused the fire." said Ash and he moved the jacket. "Hay that's a Burny, but what is a rare fire type Pokémon like that doing down here." said Brock "The poke'dex said that it would travel looking for strong trainers to battle. Maybe it was looking for a strong trainer to battle." said Ash as Tanza put her hand on its forehead. "Well it's ice cold and it feels like it has a fever. We can head to Timothy house and help it there, but first let's try to put out the fire.' said Tanza "Steelix,Fortress come out." said Brock He threw his poke ‘balls and his Steelix and Fortress appeared. "Corsola come on out." said Misty She threw her poke ‘ball and Corsola appeared. "Corsola,Starmie use Hydro Pump to put out the fire." said Misty "Steelix use Iron Tail, Fortress use Rapid Spin. Both of you knock dirt on the fire." said Brock "Let's help! Infernape you use Dig to knock some dirt on the fire. said Ash Just then other Pokémon trainer and there Pokémon ran to help them put out the fire. They tried and tried for what seemed like hours trying to put out the fire, but to no veil. "Its no use." said Tanza. "We've got to do something! If we don't a lot of Pokémon might get hurt or worse. “said Misty "Our Pokémon are exshausted.We've done all we can." said Brock "There has to be something more we can do." said Ash Just then there was a gust of wind and all of the Pokémon stood up. "What’s wrong?" asked Misty "I think they hear something." said Brock Everybody stood up silent, then there was another gust of wind. "Now I hear it!" said Ash "The wind is caring a melody from a flute of something. “said Brock "It sounds beautiful!" said Misty "Pikaaaa!!!!" said Pikachu pointing up and when everybody looked up they saw a Articuno flying above them around in circles. "Hay what's a Articuno doing here." said Brock "That's not any Articuno! That’s Timothy's Articuno." said Tanza Just then there was a cold blast of wind that blew out the fire. "I think that was sheer cold." said Brock "I wounder why is she up an active? She must sense that Timothy is somewhere nearby. I wounder were he is thought because I can't sense him." said Tanza to herself "Hay Ash how is that Pokémon doing?" asked Misty "Well it's still ice cold. I can feel the chill that it's body is giving off though my jacket." said Ash "We have to hurry back to the Pokémon center." said Brock "Well never make it. Come on we can hurry to Timothy's house now that the fire's out. said Tanza and she started running up the road. "Hang in there." said Ash running behind them The Pokémon opened it's eyes, looked at Ash, then closed them back. A few minutes later they came up on a big green and black masion like house. "Where here!" said Tanza They walked on up to the door and Tanza knocked . A couple of seconds later the door opened and they were greeted by a pikachu, but this wasn't a ordinary looking pikachu! To Be Continued..... [spoiler=Chapter 5 -A True Mystery Know As Timothy ]This Pikachu's coloring was a very off. His color was a blade silver and he had a bang covering his right eye and one beside his left eye and they both had red stripes on them. He had red bands around both his arm, a red stripe on his back, his tail was shaped more like a v at the end and the tip of his ears were red with two dots under the point. "Hay Kachu can we come in?" asked Tanza The Pikachu knotted its head, let them in and closed the door behind them. "Is this really were Timothy lives?" asked Ash "Yeah!" said Tanza "Wow! This place is huge!" said Misty "Hay Ash give me the Pokémon." said Tanza "Ok." said Ash He walked up to Tanza and gave her the Pokémon. She unwrapped the Pokémon from Ashes jacket and handed it back to him. "Wow! You really weren't kidding Ash, he is cold! Hay Kachu can you go get me one of Timothy's fire proof blankets?" asked Tanza "Pi!" said Kachu and he ran down the hallway and went into a room. "Who's pikachu is that?" asked Ash "That's Timothy's very first Pokémon. His name is Kachu." said Tanza "Wow! I've never seen a Pikachu like him before." said Brock "Kachu is a very unique Pikachu. There isn't another pikachu like him in the entire world." said Tanza They looked around the living room and saw pictures of alot of different Pokémon on them. "Wow! Does Timothy have all of these Pokémon in these pictures!" asked Ash "Yeap!" said Tanza "Hay Ash look at this." said Misty She was looking in a glass counter, so he went to see what she was looking at. "Wow! He has a collection of evolution stones." said Ash "And over here he has collection of poke ‘balls. Some of which I've never seen before." said Brock "Hay Tanza whey isn't Timothy in any of the pictures with his Pokémon?" asked Misty "Well Timothy has this thing about cameras." said Tanza "Why?" said Misty "I don't know! He just doesn’t like to get his picture taken." said Tanza Just then Kachu came running back up the hall with a red blanket and two other Pokémon following him. "Hay Ash, Brock look!" said Misty "It's a Mew and Celebi!" said Brock "Pikaaa!" said Pikachu "But they look different from the Mew and Celebi I’ve seen before. said Ash The Mew was blue, that had dark blue fur on its head and running down it's back. The top half of its ear's was dark and it had a blue circle on its belly and the top half of its hand were red. The Celebi was Pink, the top of its head was red and the bottom of its body was red. The tip of it's antenna’s was green, with green band around it's arm's and feet. Kachu jumped on the coach and handed Tanza the blanket. "Chu..Pika." said Kachu "Thanks Kachu!" said Tanza as she laid the blanket on the floor and put the Burny on it. "Ok Kachu can you go get me two of Timothy's Cold Fire Stones. Mew and Celebi can you go get me Timothy's Moon Syrup?" asked Tanza and they all knotted and went down the hall. "Does that Mew and Celebi belong to Timothy to?" asked Ash "Yeap Timothy has Pokémon rarely see." said Tanza "Wow!" said Misty Just then Kachu, Mew and Celebi came back. Celebi handed Tanza small bottle of blue liquid and Kachu handed Tanza two red stones. "Hay Tanza what is that stuff in the bottle?" asked Brock Tanza opened the bottle and raised up Burny’s head so that it could take the medicine. "It's called Moon Syrup. It's a special medicine that Timothy created to help a Pokémon sleep. It can help break just about any fever and it also helps relives sinus congestion." said Tanza "What about those cold fire stones? What do they do? "asked Brock "Well Timothy created these stones specifically for fire and rock type Pokémon." said Tanza "Why just fire and rock. Why not all types?" asked Brock "Because these rocks get hot quick and can only be held by fire or rock type Pokémon. In battle they keep the Pokémon holding it from being frozen solid, but out of a battle...." said Tanza She struck the stones against each other and the stone started to steam, then she laid one on Burny’s forehead and one on his chest. "They can help heal a sick fire type Pokémon." said Tanza then she folded the blanket over Burny and few minutes later Burny was sound asleep. "Wow you did great! said Brock "Not really it was Ash who saved it. He deserves all the credit." said Tanza "Pika!" said Pikachu "It was nothing." said Ash scratching his head. "So Misty what are you doing here in the jetix region?" asked Brock "Well I heard that there were some strong water type Pokémon her. So I decided to come and try to capture a couple." said Misty "Did you?" asked Ash "No! The Pokémon around here are really strong." said Misty "Hay Tanza do you have any way for me to call Professor Oak?" asked Ash "Yeah right there. said Tanza pointing at a phone at the side of the hallway. Ash called Professor Oaks lab, but Tracy picked up. "Hay Ash! How's everything going in the jetix region?" asked Tracy "It's been good so far. Is Professor Oak in?" asked Ash "Yeah let me get him for you. said Tracy he left and a few seconds later Professor Oak came back. "Hello Ash how are you doing?" asked Professor Oak "I've been good. I called to let you know that I’ve met up with Tanza." said Ash "That's good to hear, did you catch any now Pokémon yet?" asked Professor Oak "Well no, but there was a forest fire where I saved a Burny.' said Ash "Wow that's a rare Pokémon! Is it ok?" asked Professor Oak "Yeah and guess what I even ran into Misty and Brock here to." said Ash "That’s good! Now you have your old friends with you. Ash this new journey your taking will be probably unlike anything you're ever done. The Jetix Region is a rewarding, but dangerous place so please be careful." said Professor Oak "Don't worry I will." said Ash "Ok I will talk to you later. Oh yeah when you get a chance you should go see Professor Steven or Professor Whitney. They are the experts on the jetix Pokémon. Bye now!" said Professor Oak "Bye Professor Oak." said Ash and the screen went black. Ash turned around and saw Kachu,Pikachu,Mew and Celebi playing and saw Tanza, Misty and Brock talking so he went over. "Timothy doesn’t like the spotlight all the time so he tries to stay in the shadows as much as possible." said Tanza "I wonder how somebody like him could just avoid all the public attention." said Misty "Well he doesn’t avoid it all the time. Sometimes he goes into the open for contest or other stuff like that." said Tanza "Alsome! He battles in contest to." said Ash "Doesn't anybody know where he is?" asked Brock "No. He just dropped off the map a couple of months ago and nobody has seen him since." said Tanza "So his Pokémon stay here by themselves?" asked Misty "Yeah,but don't worry there more than capable enough to take care of themselves. Also I come by every now and then to check on them." said Tanza "Well his Pokémon seem to be in very good health." said Brock "Yeah, Timothy takes very good care of all of his Pokémon and on top of all that they are all extremely strong." said Tanza Ash looked back at Pikachu playing then he looked at the sleeping Burny. "Well I’ll fix us something to eat." said Tanza "I'll help you!" said Brock and they headed into Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Time Psyduck Posted April 30, 2010 Report Share Posted April 30, 2010 Before I start being critical, I'll give you a hint: If you hold down the Alt key to the right of your spacebar, you should get an e with the accent above it, which looks far better than the apostrophe. (I can't guarantee it'll work with your keyboard, but there should be some alternative - if it's complex to do often just type 'pokemon', then use the replace function on your word processor to change it to 'pokémon') Right then, first up is the name. If your fanfic has nothing to do with the pokémon XD game, then it shouldn't be called Pokémon XD. It won't take long to come up with something else and the fact that you have an original name will give people a better impression. I did read it the first time you put them up, and I looked at the suggestions that were made as well. It seems to me that you tried to add more description, but you're still not giving a great deal of description - for example it's still not possible to picture Letal because we don't know what shape it's body is. For all we know it could be a dog, a monkey, a rat, a lizard or a newt and the description would fit. On a less critical note, I see you changed 'long jacket' to 'large jacket', but I can't help feeling you were actually looking for 'long coat' instead. Overall however it seems as though you picked up on some minor points whilst missing the bulk of what was wrong in the first chapter. Having Ash and Jamie say 'doesn't time fly when you're having fun' doesn't let you just brush over the journey. End the chapter there, or break it into sections, so it goes: [Ash and Jamie leave lab]***[Ash and Jamie reach Vermilion City] Rather than just saying 'they went to Vermilion City' and describing what should be a long journey in two lines. In fact in general you could probably do with using time skips like this - it's much neater to leave the characters alone and come back to them later than to try and string it together. If you want you could even add in scenes with the antagonists or some secondary characters to fill the gaps and add to the story. Your new pokemon seem rather uninspiring. Pyro has a terrible name (at first glance I though it would be a nickname), and really aught to be described in it's own right without being referenced to Ghastly. I can't tell whether 'Hunter' is something new or just a misspelling of Haunter. If the latter it needs fixing, if the former it needs describing (and probably a new name), and you better explain how Brock knows it's unusually large (Tanza saying so would work, but say she did). Focussed Blast is in a similar position - is it Focus Blast (which shouldn't be ever used in a Ghost-type tournament) or something else? If the latter it needs a name change. Dark Burst is also rather similar to Dark Pulse in both name and form, so you may want to differentiate it a bit more. It's Cynthia, not 'Sinthia'. I get the feeling you've decided to use various children's television networks/producers as a basis for the name of your region and places in it. I'd suggest you actually go for something with a more solid founding (ie older), something like characters from a legend or something, or at least change it around so people have to find the basis, unless you're actually going for a parody, in which case you need to do a lot of work. I can see several issues with the plot already:Why did Jamie start a battle if he knew he'd have to leave after three turns?Given that Letal has armour, I'm guessing it's a Steel-type, which means that it should at least feel the blows, even if the armour isn't damaged, and unless it's ground the electric moves will have an affect.Why did Brock battle someone who is apparently a Gym Leader? He 's learning how to look after pokémon (and ash + regional girl most of the time), so there should at least be a justification other than 'I need someone to know about Tanza's pokemon.' Any local could do the latter job effectively enough - and Brock could work well enough if he was just watching rather than battling.Sableye is a dark type, and so would be unaffected by Psybeam.Why did Cynthia recommend Ash as a strong trainer? She's got to have met, or otherwise seen, a lot of good trainers, and it Jetix is full of so many powerful pokemon and trainers (and is so big) why look elsewhere anyway.As far as I can tell, Jetix would be to the north of Sinnoh. Which means it should be snowing there, or at least very cold. If it's the biggest region, then ash should have heard of it, and if he hasn't it should be 'how on earth have you not heard of this place before? Are you actually mentally retarded?', not just 'oh I thought you would have heard of it.' Proofread your work, and look for things like missing spaces and quotation marks. If you aren't already, use a spell checker, but those won't pick up punctuation errors and may miss grammatical errors as well. This probably sounds rather critical, but right now I don't see a particularly interesting plot to make up for this (although I expect more explanation of this thing with the stolen pokémon to come next chapter, you really should have had Oak give more of an explanation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duel tester Posted May 1, 2010 Report Share Posted May 1, 2010 does your computer have spellcheck function ???because if you do Please for the love of pokemon trainers in the jetix Region use it !!! now i am being nice as in puting the intro in a readable words please copy and paste this into the intro slot asap Pokemon,mystical creatures that inhabit the earth along with humans. They have been around for as long as we humans if not longer. There sheer numbers are staggering and up to date there have been a total of 450 different species of Pokemon discovered and everyday more are being discovered so there exact number is uncertain. When a child reaches the age of 10 they are able to become a Pokemon Trainer and with there first Pokemon they travel around the world together. There adventurer's carry then through kinds of heartbreak and trouble,but also along the way they make many friends and wonderful memory's. One such trainers Ash Ketchum and his Pokemon partner Pikachu. Together the two of them have traveled to four different region's and have made many friends and enemy's along the way. They have faced a lot of danger together and have become close like brothers. But nothing could have prepared them for the dangers that fate has in store for them in there next journey. After traveling to a strange region known as the Jetix Region he soon meets a group of trainers and there mysterious leader who posses power's unlike anything he has ever seen in a human or Pokemon. After traveling with them for awhile the mysterious trainers power's go out of control and then one by one earth is hit by a wave of evil and disaster's seeking to destroy it. Now this journey will be a battle for more than gym badge's,but for the fate of the earth. Ash and co train to step up there Pokemon battle style and gain power's never before seen in the history of Pokemon. Will Ash and co be able to protect the planet and help combat the danger that ravage and seek to destroy the earth with power's and ability's they never thought possible. The planet will shake,galaxy's will howl and the universe just might crumble when fist clash in the ultimate battle between good and evil. This is Pokemon XD Taken To The Max!!! now reading it in a clean readable words. make the story sound like a gread fan fic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michael91 Posted May 1, 2010 Report Share Posted May 1, 2010 you completely ripped off the creator of the cave of dragonflies (still super weird name for a pokemon site)with your leta and letal even the design.until you prove you are her (which i doubt)your ripping off of her Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
viserdragon Posted May 13, 2010 Author Report Share Posted May 13, 2010 Hay well somebody post up and tell me what do the think of my story so far. [spoiler= Chapter 6-Burny's Fire Soul] A little while later after everybody was done eating and everything was put away, Tanza brought a big black bag into the living room, sat it on the couch and laid a big folded piece of paper on the table. She opened it up on the table and they saw that it was a map. "Ok this were we'll be going, Pern Island. Our mission is to infiltrate blood wakes base and get back the egg. "Said Tanza. "I've heard of Pern Island. I hear it's beautiful in the winter. Anyway where is there base? "Asked Brock "To the east the is a series of islands called the Nether Storm Islands. My Intel says that there base is on island number four." said Tanza "How do we find their base? "asked Misty "There are paths that lead there, but when you do get there...."said Tanza She stopped, reached in to the backpack and brought out three poke'navs. She handed one to Misty and one to Brock. "These will show you the layout of the base and Ash I will send it to your Dimension Poke’dex." said Tanza "Ok! said Ash "Now what Pokémon do you have with you'll? " asked Tanza "Well I have my Starmie and Corsala." said Misty "I have my Steelix and Fortress." said Brock "I have Pikachu and Infernape." said Ash "Ok we'll need three Pokémon for this mission. Take these, you can borrow these Pokémon until the mission is over. "said Tanza and she threw a Pokémon to each of them. Misty and Brock caught there's but just as Ash was about to grab the poke’ball,Burny jumped up and swatted the poke'ball back to Tanza. "Hay! Why did you do that?" asked Ash "Burnn..Burnn..Burny..!!" said Burny pointing to Ash "I think Burny wants to battle you." said Tanza "Is that it, you want to battle?" asked Ash and Burny knotted. "Ok then!" said Ash and everybody went outside. "Why would Burny want to battle Ash? "asked Misty "Don't know, but it probably feels as if it owes Ash for saving him from that fire." said Brock "Yeap! And he's going to pay him back the best why it know's...by battling him. “said Tanza "You ready Pikachu? asked Ash and Pikachu jumped off his shoulder in front of him. "Pikaa!!" said Pikachu "Ok! Pikachu let's start with a Thunderbolt." said Ash Pikachu shot the thunderbolt at Burny, but before it hit Burny moved, headed straight for Pikachu and rammed him. "Wow he's fast!" said Misty "Yeah that was a very fast quick attack." said Brock "Pikachu are you ok?" asked Ash and Pikachu got back on its feet as Burny started running toward Pikachu again. "Pikachu use Iron Tail." said Ash Pikachu started running and jumping into the air with tail glowing. But just as they were about to collided Pikachu rolled sideways. "Now Pikachu use thunderbolt! "shouted Ash Pikachu hit Burny with the thunderbolt and it slammed him into the ground. "Nice one!" said Misty "Pikachu has gotten allot stronger since we left the sinnoh region." said Brock "Don't count Burny out yet." said Tanza as Burny started to glow red. All of a sudden it sprouted flames on its head as it stood back up. "Hay that's Burny's Fire Soul ability. said Brock Burny opened his mouth and just as Pikachu was about to hit him, he shot a stream of fire from his mouth that hit Pikachu. "No Pikachu!" shouted Ash "Now that’s power! Burny’s Fire Soul ability doubles the power of his fire type attacks and also raises his chance for a critical hit. "said Tanza "That flamethrower was devastating." said Misty as Pikachu struggled to get back to his feet. "Pika...Chu! "said Pikachu "Burnn...! " said Burny "Where not done yet! Pikachu use volt tackle! "shouted Ash Pikachu started running towards Burny and he was engulfed in a electrical energy. "Isn't that something, they know Volt Tackle. said Tanza to herself. Burny lunched a Flamethrower at Pikachu, but he went right through it, collided with Burny sending him rolling back. Ash took out a Poke'ball, threw it at Burny, then it hit him on the head and he disappeared into it. The poke'ball started to shake, then it stopped and the button on the front of it blinked red. "Alright I caught my very first Jetix Pokémon. Pikachu we caught a Burny!" said Ash as he picked up the poke'ball "Pikaa...Chu!!" said Pikachu jumping up and down in front of Ash. "Good job Ash! Now you have your third Pokémon." said Tanza. "Yeah I guess so." said Ash looking at the poke'ball. "Come on ,you, Pikachu and Burny can rest up before we leave." said Tanza and they all went into the house. They all sat around talking and relaxing for awhile, then an hour or two later it was time to go. “Now before we leave I’m going to ask everybody here one last time are you all sure you want to do this. This mission will be more dangerous than anything you’ve ever done. If you want to you can stay and I want hold it against you. “said Tanza “No thanks I’m going. I’ve never pass up anything that sounds this exciting.” said Ash “Pikaaa! “said Pikachu “If Ash is going then I’m going. He’ll need somebody to watch his back. “said Brock “And I’m going to watch their back. “said Misty “Alright I won’t you all to be very careful .”said Tanza “Hay Tanza I forgot to ask you how are we going to get to the island. said Brock "Hay Mew,Celebi can you teleport us to the island?" asked Tanza and they both knotted "Well that answered that. "said Brock "Lets do this!" said Ash "Pikaa! "said Pikachu "I'm ready! "said Misty "lets go." said Tanza Just then Mew and Celebi started to glow as they started to circle around until they were engulfed in a sphere of light. Tanza reached into the black bag pulled out four backpacks and handed one to each of them. "What's in these? "asked Misty "Just some supplies to help you. Now were about to land so be ready. "said Tanza "Just then they started to fall very fast. What's happening? "asked Misty "Something must've broke Mew and Celebi's concentration." said Tanza "Pikaa!" shouted Pikachu holding onto Ash's shoulder. "Hay grab onto each other. Misty give me your hand. "said Tanza She looked over and saw that Misty and Brock has passed out. Ash healed onto Pikachu until they both blacked out. TO BE CONTINUED..... [spoiler=Chapter 7-Undercover Brother,The Egg Recovered ]When Ash awoke he looked around and saw that he was in a forest, then he saw Pikachu and Brock on the ground unconscious and he went over to him. "Hay Pikachu, Brock are you ok? Wake up you two! "said Ash shaking them. "Piii...Ka?" said Pikachu sitting up. "Wow what happened? “asked Brock "I don't know. “said Ash "Were do you think we are? “asked Ash Brock stooded up and took out the poke'nav Tanza gave him earlier. "Well this poke'nav says were on the fourth neatherstorm island." said Brock "Now all we have to do is find Blood Wakes base. "said Ash "This is a pretty big island, it could be anywhere." said Brock "Pikaa! "said Pikachu "Or it could be right in front of us." said Ash and Pikachu pointing at a building in the middle of a meadow. "That might be it, but how will we know for sure if that’s it." said Brock "Just then a big door rose up on the side of the building and a truck that had cages upon cages of Pokémon on it went in. "This has to be the place, look at all of those poor Pokémon." said Ash as a man got out of the truck. He had on a black and blood red colored pants and a black shirt that had blood wake written on it. "Hay Ash, Pikachu come on.”said Brock Ash and Pikachu looked beside them, but Brock wasn't there. "Hay Brock where are you? said Ash "Over here!”said Brock Ash looked in the tall grass and saw Brock crawling toward the building. “Hay Brock wait up." said Ash "Chu?" said Pikachu "They crawled all the way up to the side of the building under a window and looked in. They saw four people unloading the cages of Pokémon onto a conveyor belt. "How do you suggest we get in?" said Brock as he looked at Ash who was looking around. "Hay I’ve got an idea!”said Ash "What is it?" asked Brock "Pi?" said Pikachu "First Pikachu will go knock on the door until they open it and see who it is. Second once they do Pikachu will distract all four of them and see if you can get them to chase you into the meadow. Meanwhile Brock and I will sneak in to find a place to hide, and then you lose them in the meadow and come back. " said Ash "That just might work! Let's do it! "said Brock "So what do you say Pikachu?”asked Ash "Pikaa!”said Pikachu "Ok just be careful not to let them catch you.”said Ash Pikachu knotted, ran to the door and knocked on it as hard as he could as Ash and Brock looked through the window. "Hay Paula answer that will you.”said one of the male Blood Wake members. "Yeah, yeah just a sec!”said Paula "She had long blond hair with blue eyes and peach colored skin. "Wow she's pretty!" said Brock She pushed a button and the door started to rise up. When the door was completely up she saw Pikachu. "Well I’ll be. Hay Melisa, Tod, Paula come look at this, it’s a Pikachu. "said Paula and the other three ran up to her. Melisa was a medium height white girl with long black hair. Tod was a medium height white boy with short blond hair and Paula was a medium height peach complex boy with medium blond hair. "Grab it!”shouted Tod He dived to grab Pikachu, but he jumped out of the way. Pikachu ran back a distance, stuck his tongue out, turned around slapped his butt and ran off. "Why you little rat. Come on! "said Melisa angerly,then they went chasing after Pikachu. "Come on.”said Brock they ran and dived under the door just as it closed. "We made it.”said Brock "Yeah, but I hope Pikachu will be ok.”said Ash "Don't worry he will be fine.”said Brock They looked around and saw that there was one cage left on the truck with a Pokémon in it. "Who's that Pokémon? said Ash and he pointed his Poke’dex at it. "Camus the tiny raptor Pokémon. Camus usually travels in packs of twenty or thirty at a time. They are really tough to train, because of their temper and few trainers dare try to train this vicious Pokémon, but those who mange to, end up with a very powerful and great Pokémon. "said the Poke’dex "Wow he sounds like a handful.”said Brock "Yea, but let’s get him out of here.”said Ash Ash went up to the cage but just as he was about to reach for it there was a knock at the window. They looked around and saw Pikachu standing at the window. Brock ran, opened it up, Pikachu jumped in and ran to Ash. "Pikaa!”said Pikachu "Good work!”said Ash "Let's hurry it want be long before they decide to give up looking and come back.”said Brock shutting the window. Ash reached for the cage door and opened it. The Camus looked at Ash, but it backed away snarling and growling. Well that's about all I can do for you since I don't feel like being ripped to shreads.When that door opens you just get out of here. We have to save those other pokemon.Let go Brock! "said Ash and headed toward a door at the back of the room. They slightly opened it and saw that it lead to a hallway and they went in. The Camus stepped out of the cage, looked at the window, then looked at the door.Ash, Pikachu and Brock got to the end of the hallway and peeked around the courners.They saw two men in lab coat walking up the hallway toward them. "Somebody's coming. “said Ash “What do we do? We have to hide. “said Brock looking for a place to hide. “Pika! “said Pikachu pointing at a vent. They pulled of the cover and crawled in just as the two men walked by. “Were do you think this vent goes. “said Ash “Don’t know but we have to keep moving. “said Brock They all crawled on when all of a sudden they started to fall. They kept falling until they broke through another vent and hit the floor. “Ouch! “said Ash “That hurt. “said Brock “Kaaa! “said Pikachu “I wonder were we now. They got up, looked around and saw cages upon cages of Pokémon stacked on each other. “Look at all these pokemon.”said Brock “This is no way to keep pokemon.Come on let’s get them out. “said Ash Ash and Pikachu ran to a cage that had a Growlithe in it. It looked at Ash and whimpered a bit. “Don’t worry well get you all out of here. “said Ash Just then the door knob started to turn and the door started to open. “Hide! “said Brock They all hid as two females in white lab coats stepped into the room.They turned around, took off their coats and they saw that it was Tanza and Misty. “That was close. “said Misty “Yeah! My heart is still racing. I don’t see how Timothy does it. “said Tanza “Hay Tanza, Misty what’s up. “said Ash “Pikaa. “said Pikachu “Over here. “said Brock they all said as they came out of hiding. “Hay Ash, Pikachu, Brock how did you’ll get down here? “asked Tanza “Chu. “said Pikachu pointing at the vent. “Alright that’s good thinking. “said Tanza “Well did you find the egg? “asked Brock "I have somebody on that, but for now what do you say we get these Pokémon out of these cages. We only have about a minute left to spare. “said Tanza “Ok! “They all said and they all started letting the Pokémon out of the cages. A few seconds later after all the Pokémon had been released somebody bolted thought the door and he was holding a egg case with a white egg in it that had ice blue spots on it. “Who are you? “asked Ash “Pikaaa! “said Pikachu “My name is Rodney, Rodney Wingard and I’m Timothy’s brother. “He said “Hold on Ash and Pikachu he’s with us. “said Tanza Ash looked at him and saw that he was tall, light skin, with medium length black hair and Tanza walked up to him. “Is that the egg? “asked Misty “Yea this is it, but we only have about sixteen seconds before the alarms go off. So I hope you have a way out of here Tanza. “Rodney said “Well seeing as we can’t go back the way we came and we have to get all of these Pokémon out of here…. “said Tanza ,but before she could finish a red light started to flash above the door as a alarm started to go off, then a voice started to speck over a intercom in the room. “There are intruders in the building and they have stolen a very valuable item from the labatory.Find them and get back the item at all cost the eliminate the intruders. “said the voice. “That doesn’t sound good. “said Ash “What now? “asked Rodney Tanza looked around and spotted the conveyor belt.“I got it! Ash,Misty,Brock I want you’ll to use that conveyor belt to get the Pokémon out of here. Rodney and I will distract them from coming into the unloading garage. “said Tanza and Rodney handed the egg case to Misty. “That will have to work. Just lock the door behind us when we leave. “said Rodney They left out the door and Misty locked the door behind them. “Alright now it’s our turn. Let’s let these Pokémon out of here. “Said Ash TO BE CONTINUED..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duel tester Posted May 14, 2010 Report Share Posted May 14, 2010 wow a good first chapter i give it a 8.5/10 most of the errors are fixed but there is stiil a few errors like this Kerobolt started running toward Pikachu and was covered in a blue energy. When Pikachu and Kerobolt finally collided, there was an explosion and Pikachu was sent flying back into a tree knocking him out. When the dust from the explosion settled Kerobolt was still standing with yellow electrical energy surging around its body. "Pikachu is unable to battle,Letal wins which means Jamie wins the match." said Tracy as Ash ( "Pikachu is unable to battle,Kerobolt wins which means Jamie wins the match." said Tracy as Ash ) just fix this..... "Are you alright Pikachu?" asked Ash Pikachu regained conciesness and knotted his head. "That was a nice battle." said Jamie "What,but we barely damaged Kerobolt at all."said Ash i could see the first chaper as a 2 part episode but still proofread all of your posted chapters and then mabye you will get more comments and by the way does your computer have a spellcheck function ????? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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