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Yu-Gi-Oh! Tales Of A Galaxy (PG-13?) - Chapter 7, Glads suck.


iCherry

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Guest Zeonark

Proof-read? DX

 

But I'm not a good proofreader. Dx

...I'll proofread anyway. Send it to me when you want.

 

Wow' date=' this second chapter is very suspensefull like a show...I just hope I don't have to watch reruns and wait for the next one....lol

[/quote']

 

*Chapter 1 comes back on the next day*

Damn it!

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@Yank: Oooh, is it that one that used to be a crossoverery story but then you changed your mind?

 

I can help with that.

 

@Zeo: So why does the idiot have Cyber Dragons? Isn't that the super big monsters the genius Zane uses? The ones that apperantly is actually a whole style and takes shaolin monk like training (complete with dojo and dark side)? The one where Zane had to talk to a poster to learn how to summon CED even though it was on the card lore plain as day?

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Guest Zeonark

The idiot has Cybers because... err... I need to think about that. And Zane is a dumbass, because he can't read. There's a difference.

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I hate it when that happnes. In England we got to episode 52 and the they start it agin and wait for 4KidsTV to dub the rest. >.>

 

We get episode 10

Then we view episodes 1 through 9 again, and then after they re-show 10, they show episode 11.

 

Repeat.

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The idiot has Cybers because... err... I need to think about that. And Zane is a dumbass' date=' because he can't read. There's a difference.

[/quote']

 

But still, an ancient dojo for a card game style!

 

You can't just look up a decklist from a forum or a magazine, you have to train rigously since birth.

 

Or the cards explode or something...

 

The evil cards DO slowly kill you.

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I read the second chapter. I thought that you could've done better on the grammar in some places, you should've been more original with Larry (I've seen TOO MANY fics with Ancient Gear creepy men! Didn't he just say he's related to Crowler? It's all redundant! Somehow.), X-L is a cool name, X-L is a creepy guy, and the chapter was TOO short! Instead of making Chapter Three, I'd suggest slappin' it onto the end of the second chapter.

 

Overall, I'd give Ch. 2 a 7/10. Pretty average, but not endearing or something I'd beg to see more of.

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Guest Zeonark

@Armadilloz:

Finally, Episode 12 is coming toda-

...

*FaceTV*

 

@Nexev:

No. Ancient Dojos are for losers.

 

@Weather:

Not perfect with grammar here. And I'd rather not slap 3 onto 2.

Thanks for your rating.

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Guest Zeonark

Bump and Chapter 3, yippee.

 

Gold Sarc's timing sounds off because when I wrote out the chapter, I completely forgot about it and then went back and slapped it in there because I was lazy. Don't complain about it.

 

Also, lulzy hand at the end and Casey is incredibly cheesy.

 

Alright, most, if not, all of the characters getting introduced in chapters 4-10. Plenty of time to introduce my material and use it. And yes, I got half of your personalities wrong, go me.

 

Don't expect Chapter 4 anytime soon.

EDIT:

Just noticed, Larry forgot to attack with Ancient Gear Golem during the turn he Summoned Knight.

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With this' date=' I can fuse monsters on my field and hand together! So I'll be fusing Golem, Knight, and another Ancient Gear in my hand!" Larry plucked the Gear from his hand, inserting it into another Disk slot. The holographic knight broke into pieces as its gears started meshing with the Golem's. More gears appeared on the monster, clanking and clicking into place. The machine took on a golden hue as lightning sparked from it's body. An enormous metal claw replaced its right appendage and the new machine creaked as it assumed a horseman-like appearance.[/quote']

Beautiful <3

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Guest Zeonark

With this' date=' I can fuse monsters on my field and hand together! So I'll be fusing Golem, Knight, and another Ancient Gear in my hand!" Larry plucked the Gear from his hand, inserting it into another Disk slot. The holographic knight broke into pieces as its gears started meshing with the Golem's. More gears appeared on the monster, clanking and clicking into place. The machine took on a golden hue as lightning sparked from it's body. An enormous metal claw replaced its right appendage and the new machine creaked as it assumed a horseman-like appearance.[/quote']

Beautiful <3

 

We aim to please, making the Ancient Gears come out beautifully.

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Guest Zeonark

Just noticed' date=' Larry forgot to attack with Ancient Gear Golem during the turn he Summoned Knight.

[/quote']

 

He was playing stupid. ;D

 

Playing stupid/going easy for teh lulz?

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Just noticed' date=' Larry forgot to attack with Ancient Gear Golem during the turn he Summoned Knight.

[/quote']

 

He was playing stupid. ;D

 

Playing stupid/going easy for teh lulz?

 

Shes the main charactor obveiously she has to win agenst crowlerAncient Gears :3

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Guest Zeonark

Shes the main charactor obveiously she has to win agenst crowlerAncient Gears :3

 

...Good point.

 

DId you change the title or something?

I'm pretty sure it was 'Galaxy Tales' or something before =\

 

Quite a grasp of the obvious you have there.

 

Galactic Tales --> Tales of a Galaxy

lol

 

<3

 

Galactic Tales sounds better...

 

It sounded too much like Team Galactic.

I didn't want people thinking it was a Yugioh Fanfic with Saturn or Mars as the main characters.

 

Plus, it fits for what's happening later in the story.

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So..I actually wrote most of a first chapter...o.0

 

Anyway, I'll get to reading chapter 3 now :D

 

 

EDIT: lol, Crazy win in crazy. Limiter Removal, who knew?

She had alot of Level 8's in her hand...0.o

 

Also...I wounder when Lace is gonna show up ^_\\\

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