Yankee Posted April 6, 2010 Report Share Posted April 6, 2010 ....Story is easier for me...extremely easy...Roaxas knows...Writing is the hard part for me... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Zeonark Posted April 6, 2010 Report Share Posted April 6, 2010 We're pretty much the same then. I mean, you see how horrid my writing is. xD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yankee Posted April 6, 2010 Report Share Posted April 6, 2010 No..no I don't DXYou actually have more personality for your characters...Like the idiot...lolI really have..idk DX Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Zeonark Posted April 6, 2010 Report Share Posted April 6, 2010 Personalities are easy to get down, especially when they're your own creations. I wish I could help somehow Yankee. D: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yankee Posted April 7, 2010 Report Share Posted April 7, 2010 Proof-read? DX Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Prince_of_Death Posted April 7, 2010 Report Share Posted April 7, 2010 Wow, this second chapter is very suspensefull like a show...I just hope I don't have to watch reruns and wait for the next one....lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Zeonark Posted April 7, 2010 Report Share Posted April 7, 2010 Proof-read? DX But I'm not a good proofreader. Dx...I'll proofread anyway. Send it to me when you want. Wow' date=' this second chapter is very suspensefull like a show...I just hope I don't have to watch reruns and wait for the next one....lol[/quote'] *Chapter 1 comes back on the next day*Damn it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bassa Posted April 7, 2010 Report Share Posted April 7, 2010 I hate it when that happnes. In England we got to episode 52 and the they start it agin and wait for 4KidsTV to dub the rest. >.> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nexev Posted April 7, 2010 Report Share Posted April 7, 2010 @Yank: Oooh, is it that one that used to be a crossoverery story but then you changed your mind? I can help with that. @Zeo: So why does the idiot have Cyber Dragons? Isn't that the super big monsters the genius Zane uses? The ones that apperantly is actually a whole style and takes shaolin monk like training (complete with dojo and dark side)? The one where Zane had to talk to a poster to learn how to summon CED even though it was on the card lore plain as day? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Zeonark Posted April 7, 2010 Report Share Posted April 7, 2010 The idiot has Cybers because... err... I need to think about that. And Zane is a dumbass, because he can't read. There's a difference. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toffee. Posted April 7, 2010 Report Share Posted April 7, 2010 I hate it when that happnes. In England we got to episode 52 and the they start it agin and wait for 4KidsTV to dub the rest. >.> We get episode 10Then we view episodes 1 through 9 again, and then after they re-show 10, they show episode 11. Repeat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nexev Posted April 7, 2010 Report Share Posted April 7, 2010 The idiot has Cybers because... err... I need to think about that. And Zane is a dumbass' date=' because he can't read. There's a difference.[/quote'] But still, an ancient dojo for a card game style! You can't just look up a decklist from a forum or a magazine, you have to train rigously since birth. Or the cards explode or something... The evil cards DO slowly kill you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weather Report - Stand Posted April 7, 2010 Report Share Posted April 7, 2010 I read the second chapter. I thought that you could've done better on the grammar in some places, you should've been more original with Larry (I've seen TOO MANY fics with Ancient Gear creepy men! Didn't he just say he's related to Crowler? It's all redundant! Somehow.), X-L is a cool name, X-L is a creepy guy, and the chapter was TOO short! Instead of making Chapter Three, I'd suggest slappin' it onto the end of the second chapter. Overall, I'd give Ch. 2 a 7/10. Pretty average, but not endearing or something I'd beg to see more of. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Zeonark Posted April 7, 2010 Report Share Posted April 7, 2010 @Armadilloz:Finally, Episode 12 is coming toda-...*FaceTV* @Nexev:No. Ancient Dojos are for losers. @Weather:Not perfect with grammar here. And I'd rather not slap 3 onto 2.Thanks for your rating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Zeonark Posted April 8, 2010 Report Share Posted April 8, 2010 Bump and Chapter 3, yippee. Gold Sarc's timing sounds off because when I wrote out the chapter, I completely forgot about it and then went back and slapped it in there because I was lazy. Don't complain about it. Also, lulzy hand at the end and Casey is incredibly cheesy. Alright, most, if not, all of the characters getting introduced in chapters 4-10. Plenty of time to introduce my material and use it. And yes, I got half of your personalities wrong, go me. Don't expect Chapter 4 anytime soon.EDIT:Just noticed, Larry forgot to attack with Ancient Gear Golem during the turn he Summoned Knight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toffee. Posted April 8, 2010 Report Share Posted April 8, 2010 With this' date=' I can fuse monsters on my field and hand together! So I'll be fusing Golem, Knight, and another Ancient Gear in my hand!" Larry plucked the Gear from his hand, inserting it into another Disk slot. The holographic knight broke into pieces as its gears started meshing with the Golem's. More gears appeared on the monster, clanking and clicking into place. The machine took on a golden hue as lightning sparked from it's body. An enormous metal claw replaced its right appendage and the new machine creaked as it assumed a horseman-like appearance.[/quote']Beautiful <3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Zeonark Posted April 8, 2010 Report Share Posted April 8, 2010 With this' date=' I can fuse monsters on my field and hand together! So I'll be fusing Golem, Knight, and another Ancient Gear in my hand!" Larry plucked the Gear from his hand, inserting it into another Disk slot. The holographic knight broke into pieces as its gears started meshing with the Golem's. More gears appeared on the monster, clanking and clicking into place. The machine took on a golden hue as lightning sparked from it's body. An enormous metal claw replaced its right appendage and the new machine creaked as it assumed a horseman-like appearance.[/quote']Beautiful <3 We aim to please, making the Ancient Gears come out beautifully. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twig Posted April 8, 2010 Report Share Posted April 8, 2010 Just noticed' date=' Larry forgot to attack with Ancient Gear Golem during the turn he Summoned Knight.[/quote'] He was playing stupid. ;D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Zeonark Posted April 8, 2010 Report Share Posted April 8, 2010 Just noticed' date=' Larry forgot to attack with Ancient Gear Golem during the turn he Summoned Knight.[/quote'] He was playing stupid. ;D Playing stupid/going easy for teh lulz? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toffee. Posted April 9, 2010 Report Share Posted April 9, 2010 Just noticed' date=' Larry forgot to attack with Ancient Gear Golem during the turn he Summoned Knight.[/quote'] He was playing stupid. ;D Playing stupid/going easy for teh lulz? Shes the main charactor obveiously she has to win agenst crowlerAncient Gears :3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaisu Posted April 9, 2010 Report Share Posted April 9, 2010 DId you change the title or something?I'm pretty sure it was 'Galaxy Tales' or something before =\ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yankee Posted April 9, 2010 Report Share Posted April 9, 2010 Galactic Tales --> Tales of a Galaxylol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twig Posted April 9, 2010 Report Share Posted April 9, 2010 Galactic Tales --> Tales of a Galaxylol Galactic Tales sounds better... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Zeonark Posted April 9, 2010 Report Share Posted April 9, 2010 Shes the main charactor obveiously she has to win agenst crowlerAncient Gears :3 ...Good point. DId you change the title or something?I'm pretty sure it was 'Galaxy Tales' or something before =\ Quite a grasp of the obvious you have there. Galactic Tales --> Tales of a Galaxylol <3 Galactic Tales sounds better... It sounded too much like Team Galactic.I didn't want people thinking it was a Yugioh Fanfic with Saturn or Mars as the main characters. Plus, it fits for what's happening later in the story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yankee Posted April 9, 2010 Report Share Posted April 9, 2010 So..I actually wrote most of a first chapter...o.0 Anyway, I'll get to reading chapter 3 now :D EDIT: lol, Crazy win in crazy. Limiter Removal, who knew?She had alot of Level 8's in her hand...0.o Also...I wounder when Lace is gonna show up ^_\\\ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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