barsam Posted December 23, 2007 Report Share Posted December 23, 2007 Jaden:Hey Syrus Jesse!Race you to the Class!Syrus:Hey!Wait up Jaden!Jesse:*Sigh*Comeing!Jaden bumped in to CrowlerJaden:Ouch!Sorry Crowler!Crowler:Jaden you have extra homework for a week!Jaden:A WEEK?Crowler:Yes 1 week now go to class!Jaden & Jesse & Syrus:Yes sir!As they arrived in class someone new is thereCrowler:Hello everyone let me introduce someone who came in from west academy!Hes name is Kove!Axel Brodie:Kove?!...Jaden:Whats wrong with Kove?Axel Brodie:He..Is the best in West Academy!Jaden:Sweet!Hey Kove!Wanna duel me!Kove:Sure meet me in the volcano after class*Inside Koves Mind*:Jaden prepare yourself!Cause now your gonna meet the World of Pain! Chapter 2:The duel begins Jaden:Where is he?Kove is walking to the Volcano.Jaden:So there you are!Kove and Jaden:DUEL!Jaden:My go!Draw! I summon Elemental hero Avian in Attack Mode!And I put 2 cards Face down. Elemental hero Avian 1000 ATK Kove:Draw!I Special summon Cyber Dragon in Attack Mode!Then Cyber Dragon Attack!Cyber Dragon 2100 ATK Jaden:I play Mirror Gate!If a Elemental hero is in the field I could switch my Monster with yours! Koves Life points goes to 4000-2900 Koves:Very well then.I summon CyberDark Edge in Defence mode!And I end my turn!CyberDark Edge 800 DefenceJaden:Now I activate SkyScraper!Now my Elemental heros cards gain 1000 Atk points during Battle Phase!Now Elemental Hero Avian Attack! CyberDark Edge destroyed.Jaden:I end my turn. Kove:Draw!*Evil Laugh*I activate this!POWER BOND!Now my two Cyber Dragons Emerges into this!CYBER TWIN DRAGON! Cyber Twin Dragon 5600 AtkKove loses 2800 Life points Koves Life Points 2900-100 Kove:Now go Cyber Twin Dragon attack Elemental hero Avian! Jaden:O no...Jesse:Mind if I join!Jaden:Jesse! Chapter 3-Jesse and Jaden vs Kove! Jesse:I play Jadens Trap Card Negate Attack!Kove:I end my turn!Jesse:Draw!I summon Crystal Beast Ruby Carbuncle in Defence mode and I play 1 card face down.Jaden:My Turn!Draw!I Play this Dark Hole!It let me destroy all Monsters on the field!And I end my turnKove:Draw!I play this Proto Cyber Dragon!Now attack Jadens Life points! 4000-2900 Kove:I end my turn!Jesse:Its all over Kove!I play Crystal beast Topaz Tiger!Kove:Its not over because I play this!Sakretsu Armor!It lets me destroy 1 card thats just been summoned to the field I choose your Topaz Tiger!Jesse:What intarnations!?I end my turn.Jaden:My go!Draw!Sweet!I play this Elemental hero Clayman in ATK Mode! Elemental Hero Clayman 800 ATKJaden:I end my turn.Kove:Its all over!Go Exploder Dragon!Then I activate Monster Reborn come out!Cyber Dragon!Then I play Limiter Removal!All of my Machine monsters ATK points are Doubled!Now attack Proto Cyber Dragon!Attack hes Clayman!Then Cyber Dragon Attack Jaden Directly! Jadens and Johans Life points 2900-0000Kove:Dont mess with the champion of the West Academy!Axel Brodie:Hold on!I duel you!Kove:Sure!But your warned you are gonna turn out like Jaden and JesseAxel Brodie:Dont worry! Chapter 4!Cyber vs Volcanic Axel and Kove:DUEL! Axel:My turn!DRAW!I play Volcanic Rocket!Then I activate Blaze Accelerator!Then I end my turnKove:Draw!Go Cyber Dragon!Then I play Metamorpahis!To play Cyber Twin Dragon!Then Attack! Axels Life points 4000-3100Kove:I end my Turn.Axel:I tribute Blaze Accelarator to activate Tri Blaze Accelarator!Then I sacrifice Tri Blaze Accelator to summon Volcanic DoomFire!Attack Cyber Twin Dragon!Koves Life Points 4000-3800 To be continued.... Axel:I end my turn! Kove:DRAW!I play Dark Hole!Now your Doomfire is destryoed!Now!GO I summoned Proto Cyber Dragon!Attack!I end my turn Axels Life points 4000-2900 Axel:Draw!Go Volcanic Rocket!Then Attack Proto Cyber dragon!! Kove:I play Mirror Force! Axel:WHAT! Axel:I end my turn! Kove:Draw!HEHEHEHE!Its all over!Polemarazation!Cyber Dragon and Proto Cyber Dragon!Cyber Twin Dragon RISE AGAIN!Attack! Axels Life Points2900-0000! Yubel:Hehehehe Nice work Kove!But now I well control you! Kove*Heart Beating* Yubel:Hehahahahahaha! To be Continued! Next Epsoide of Gx! Well ever Jaden Destroy Yubel!He came back!Now Jaden and Jesse and all the others well go on a Quest to defeat Yubel Kove to the end of hes time!Next Epsoide!:The Destroyers pain!Note:Yubel Kove has a Diffrent deck. Chapter 5.The Destroyers Pain! Kove:*Screaming*Ouch! *Inside Kove*:Dont worry is only a little pain. Kove:Darn you!What have you done.....! *Inside Kove*:Oh nothing just makeing you stronger! Kove:You call this getting stonger!?I call it pain! *Inisde Kove*:Call it whatever you want.It well take me a little time to get use to this body. Kove:Darn you! Where Jaden and the rest are. Jaden:*Eating*This is so good! Jesse:Wait...Is it Sushi? Jaden:Come on try it! Jesse:Sure Jesse:*Eating*I love it! Syrus and Tyranno are Dueling.Looks like Tyranno Hassleberry is winning. Tyranno:Now Ultimate Tyranno attack! Syrus's Life points 4000-1000 Tyranno:Hehehe I love my Dino's!I end my turn Syrus:O yea you like Dino's?I love Roids!I use Power Bond so my Gyroid and my Steamroid could fuse into Steam Gyroid! Tyranno:Yea but you now at the end of your turn your done for. Syrus:Less talking and more dueling!Steam Gyroid Attack hes Ultimate Tyranno Tyrannos Life points:4000-2400 Syrus:I end my turn Syrus falls down Tyranno is the winner! Everyone Is at Crowlers Office Crowler:O my gosh!Another missing student is Kove? Jaden:Umm yea its pretty obvious. Crowler:Shut UP!You still have dentition! Jaden:EEK!Ok! Crowler:I want you to get Kove back now! Axel:But he's controled by Yubel Crowler:I dont care who hes controlled by!Just get him back! Everyone's scared and leaves Syrus:Sheesh Crowler's so low tempored. Were Yubel is Yubel has the body and Kove is inside him. Yubel:This body is pretty usefull. Yubel:*Hurt*Damn the same pain Kove had! Kove:Thats for makeing me pain! Yubel:Shut up you runt! Yubel has a knife and strikes it at Koves heart and makes it destroyed makeing Kove complety destroyed.Yubel is still alive. Yubel:Damn..I never got this pain before.! Yubel:Hehehehe I well completly get Jaden in my hands!Then I well make him the Surpreme King again! Adrian Gecko comes! Adrian:You well never finish your plan.In fact you wont even start Yubel:Not you again!I well beat you again! Adrian:Lets just see To be Continued..... Next Chapter...The Past. Chapters working on Chapter 6 The Lookout Chapter 7 The discovery Chapter 8 The hidden card is Revealed! Chapter 9 The use of the card! Chapter 6 The Lookout Yubel:Wait fool.Why is it that you keep chaseing me? Adrian:You now yourself.Im looking for the Pasts Hidden Card. Yubel:The Hidden Card?Ha!Thats just a legend why would you believe I would have it?*Sartasticly* Adrian:Cause your the one who made the card. Yubel:And who exactly told you that? Adrian:Dont fool me Yubel I now you have it! Yubel:Well I would tell you the stroy of what truly happend.Then you wont be lookeing for me. So what happend. Yubel:Me and Pegasus was once friends.After Pegasus stopped I wanted to continue.But I only made 1 card.The Hidden card you were lookeing for.Its called *Sacrfical Gods*.But Pegasus never made me release it.He stole the card and throw it away in this Cave. Adrian:And you expect me to believe that?Your a complete Idoit. Yubel:Damn it what well make you believe me? Adrian:There is no way Yubel.You never want me to get that hidden Card.I well just need to take it from you dont I? Yubel:Why do you need it? Adrian:None of your buisness. Yubel:Ok then. Yubel walks away Adrian:Stop! Yubel Ignores Adrian As the door closes whille Yubel goes. Where Jaden Jesse Axel and Syrus HassleBerry are. Jaden:How many more hours?! Axel:Hmmm 2 hours. Jaden:2 HOURS?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Syrus:Chill down Jaden! Jesse:Yeah chill Tyranno*Eating some Meat found from nowhere*:Hmmm deliscous Jaden:Hey were did you find that? Tyranno:Behind you Somewhere.... Kaiba:Now go!Find the Time Dragon cards! Kaiba Coperation People:Yes sir! To be Continued... Note:The Time Dragons are the card I made in Realistic card section the post is called. My Dragons is here!. Chapter 8 and 9 are comeing soon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barsam Posted December 24, 2007 Author Report Share Posted December 24, 2007 BUMP! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FunkyMonkey Posted December 24, 2007 Report Share Posted December 24, 2007 cool fanfic 9.99/10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
God Kaiba™ Posted December 29, 2007 Report Share Posted December 29, 2007 9.99999999999/19 very exciting:-):-o;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MechManiac Posted December 29, 2007 Report Share Posted December 29, 2007 9.99999999999/19 very exciting:-):-o;-)Isn't that a bad rating? Is your space-bar broken? (too many smiley faces) It's okay, but kinda choppy and all it is is duels, not much dialog. Also, some weird errors like why would Jaden summon Clayman in ATK mode? And how could Jesse just automatically join in the duel with no objections and activate Jaden's trap card, couldn't Jaden activate it himself? And there were many card errors, as in the effects of some of the cards are wrong, like Power Bond's life point effect activates at the end of your turn, and activating Metamorphosis on Cyber Dragon would not allow you to summon Cyber Twin Dragon since they have to have the same level. My rating, 6/10. I bet you can improve, try adding in a bit more talking and a little less dueling, and use your space-bar more often. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barsam Posted January 19, 2008 Author Report Share Posted January 19, 2008 The Dates Chapter 7:January 27 2008Chapter 8:Febuary 20 2008Chapter 9:March 1 Sry for the long wait but i am busy! Chapter 7 The Discovery Kaiba Sees a Card in the floor in the Gate of Yubel Kaiba:Wait!Is that the Time Dragon?! Kaiba:Time Dragon Quasar Huh? I guess I could only get 1 Time Dragon Yubel Meets Kaiba Yubel:Seto Kaiba..What are you doing here!? Kaiba:And who might you be? Yubel: ANSWER MY QUESTION! Kaiba:Looking for the Time Dragons,now who are you!? Yubel: I will not reveal my identity Kaiba:Are you saying that you well not answer my question? Then I would just need to knock you out! Duel me! Yubel:As you wish! Yubel and Kaiba: Duel! Kaiba: Draw! I summon Exploder Dragon in Defense Mode! And I end my turn! Exploder Dragon Atk:1000 Def:0000 Yubel:Would you think that I would tell you my Identity? You fool you would not defeat me anyways! Draw! I summon Flower Soilder in Attack Mode! Flower Soilder Atk:1500 Def:900 Yubel: Know Flower Soilder Attack! Flowers Sword's Fury! Exploder Dragon Destroyed Kaiba: Draw! Kaiba looking at hes hand Kaibas Hand,Polymerzation,Blue eyes white dragon X2, Negate Attack, Monster Reborn, Armor Dragon Lvl 5 Kaiba:I use Monster Reborn!To Summon my Exploder Dragon!Then I sacrfice my Exploder Dragon to summon Armor Dragon Lvl 5! Armor Dragon Lvl 5: Atk 2400 Def 1600 Kaiba:Now Attack hes Flower Soilder!And I Set 2 cards face down. And I end my turn Yubel 4000-3100 Jaden and the others running to Yubel and Kaibas Duel Jaden: Yubel! and Kaiba!Dueling?! Whats going on in here!?! To be Continued! Chapter 8! The Hidden card is Revealed!(Flower Destructer) Kaiba:This is none of your buisness Jaden! Yubel:My turn! Draw! Yubels Hand. Flower Dragon,Flower Beast,Flower Fusion,Flower Warrior Yubel:I summon Flower Warrior! and I activate Flower Fusion! It makes me summon one Flower Fusion monster by tributing all of my Flower Monsters on my hand and Field! Go Flower Destructer! Atk:3000 Def:2500 Kaiba:Humph its just a peice of trash. Yubel:We well see about that! Now Flower Destructer Attack hes Armored Dragon Lvl 5! Kaiba:You completly ignored my Trap card!Go Ring of Destructon! Yubels Life Points:100 Kaiba Life Points:1000 Yubel:I Set 1 trap card!and i End my turn Kaiba:Its your end! Draw! Now attack Armored Dragon level 5!Finish it! To be continued! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barsam Posted January 19, 2008 Author Report Share Posted January 19, 2008 The Dates Chapter 7:January 27 2008Chapter 8:Febuary 20 2008Chapter 9:March 1 Sry for the long wait but i am busy! Chapter 7 The Discovery Kaiba Sees a Card in the floor in the Gate of Yubel Kaiba:Wait!Is that the Time Dragon?! Kaiba:Time Dragon Quasar Huh? I guess I could only get 1 Time Dragon Yubel Meets Kaiba Yubel:Seto Kaiba..What are you doing here!? Kaiba:And who might you be? Yubel: ANSWER MY QUESTION! Kaiba:Looking for the Time Dragons,now who are you!? Yubel: I will not reveal my identity Kaiba:Are you saying that you well not answer my question? Then I would just need to knock you out! Duel me! Yubel:As you wish! Yubel and Kaiba: Duel! Kaiba: Draw! I summon Exploder Dragon in Defense Mode! And I end my turn! Exploder Dragon Atk:1000 Def:0000 Yubel:Would you think that I would tell you my Identity? You fool you would not defeat me anyways! Draw! I summon Flower Soilder in Attack Mode! Flower Soilder Atk:1500 Def:900 Yubel: Know Flower Soilder Attack! Flowers Sword's Fury! Exploder Dragon Destroyed Kaiba: Draw! Kaiba looking at hes hand Kaibas Hand,Polymerzation,Blue eyes white dragon X2, Negate Attack, Monster Reborn, Armor Dragon Lvl 5 Kaiba:I use Monster Reborn!To Summon my Exploder Dragon!Then I sacrfice my Exploder Dragon to summon Armor Dragon Lvl 5! Armor Dragon Lvl 5: Atk 2400 Def 1600 Kaiba:Now Attack hes Flower Soilder!And I Set 2 cards face down. And I end my turn Yubel 4000-3100 Jaden and the others running to Yubel and Kaibas Duel Jaden: Yubel! and Kaiba!Dueling?! Whats going on in here!?! To be Continued! Chapter 8! The Hidden card is Revealed!(Flower Destructer) Kaiba:This is none of your buisness Jaden! Yubel:My turn! Draw! Yubels Hand. Flower Dragon,Flower Beast,Flower Fusion,Flower Warrior Yubel:I summon Flower Warrior! and I activate Flower Fusion! It makes me summon one Flower Fusion monster by tributing all of my Flower Monsters on my hand and Field! Go Flower Destructer! Atk:3000 Def:2500 Kaiba:Humph its just a peice of trash. Yubel:We well see about that! Now Flower Destructer Attack hes Armored Dragon Lvl 5! Kaiba:You completly ignored my Trap card!Go Ring of Destructon! Yubels Life Points:100 Kaiba Life Points:1000 Yubel:I Set 1 trap card!and i End my turn Kaiba:Its your end! Draw! Now attack Armored Dragon level 5!Finish it! To be continued! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barsam Posted February 16, 2008 Author Report Share Posted February 16, 2008 Chapter 9!: The use of the Card! Srry for double post!.... Yubel:Activate Mirror force!Destroy the Armerd Dragon! Armerd Dragon is destroyed.... Yubel:Now I use call of the haunted! Come back Flower Destructer! Yubel:Attack Kaiba directly! Kaiba's Life Points..0000... Kaiba:(Shouts out of pain) Jaden:Did Seto Kaiba just lose.....? Tyranno:What in Sams hill!! Note:Sams hill means hell.Check in wikipedia and go to Tyranno Hassleberry for more info. Yubel: Hahahahaha witch one is next? Out of nowhere Zane:I will go! Yubel:You again!? I guess I will need to defeat you over and over! Syrus:Zane!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Atomix Posted February 23, 2008 Report Share Posted February 23, 2008 It's mostly O.K. but there are a couple of errors like MechManiac said, Sakurasu armour only activates if the monster attacks not when summoned that's Trap Hole Skyscraper only activates if the Elemental Hero has less attack points than the target monster. Jesse can't just join in a duel with out premision and activate Jaden's trap Power Bond activates at the end of your turn unless you have something to stop it. Metamorphosis on Cyber Dragon would not allow you to summon Cyber Twin Dragon since they have to have the same level. Card Effects = 2/5Spelling & Gramma = 3/5Overall = 5/10 better look next time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luna Diviner Posted February 23, 2008 Report Share Posted February 23, 2008 To much smileysTo shortYou haven't told us alot about them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Atomix Posted February 23, 2008 Report Share Posted February 23, 2008 To much smileysTo shortYou haven't told us alot about them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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