Black War ( non yu-gi-oh fan fic)

[overheat]

Black War ep 1

 

The Year is 2560 and the French king had taken over Aisa and Erupe and is now the biggest threat to the world that have ever been before. The Kings name was z'ack the Second. he was a good king to the French bad a horrible king to the World. Z'ack was a hard also a prist and every where he had gone he would made the citizins belive in the christianity.

While Z'acks travels the World, in a liitle town in Japan a new child has born. the first thing the child saw was a sun eclipse whitch has effect his mind in was no one could imagen. And his name was Suni. As Years went by Suni was a great at every thing he did, sometimes even too great and no one knew how a child from poor family like his could ever be good at something. Sani was 17 when he learned about his power. He had a dream where he was sacreficed on a cross when out of know where a flash of light had come out of his eyes and he could hear everyones thoughts. As Suni woke up thinking that he just had a nightmare, he heard his mother saying that she has to go to work and that she his leaving him for good. Suni ran down screaming and begging his mom to stay. Sani's mom then said the most wierd answer Sani could have thought " i did not say anything". Sani fell on the gorund shocked of what he just heard and then realised that his dream was not another regular dream. it was an ephini .

A couple of Years went by and Sani was used to his power and used it to get what he wanted. But in the middle of the Year 2585 the French King gave a speech whitch in it he said that he has plans to destory japan off the map and use it's gorunds to build a big aramy base.

At that Moment Sani fell down and dreamed another dream. but this time Sani saw him self holding a cross of pure gold in his hand and once again with a birght light comming out of his eyes and the Z'ack the Second on the floor with a sword in his back. Sani woke up stood up and knew what he need to do.TO STOP Z'ack The Second and take his thrown.

 

End

 

any comments will be nice and please give ideas for other episodes. BTW i want this FF to be no more then 15 ep

[bury the year]

Random apostrophes for the win? This is horribly generic. I'm not going to even say what needs to be fixed, because I've said it to so many fics so many times before.

[Twig]

Are you ready for a twig breaking news?

 

Black War ep 1

 

The Year is 2560 and the French king had taken over Aisa and Erupe and is now the biggest threat to the world that have ever been before.

 

Oh' date=' so is this is not Earth because I've never heard of places like Aisa and Erupe. [/color']

 

The Kings name was z'ack the Second. he was a good king to the French bad a horrible king to the World. Z'ack was a hard also a prist and every where he had gone he would made the citizins belive in the christianity.

 

So you use apostrophe on his name but not on king's? Oh look, you even capitalized king instead of his name. With the apostrophe there, I'm guessing you pronounce his name this way- (Za-ack)? This king is racist huh? But what is a prist and what are citizins? How do you "belive" something?

 

While Z'acks travels the World, in a liitle town in Japan a new child has born.

 

Run-on? Liitle? Capitalized world? S after Z'ack? Has born? lolwut?

 

the first thing the child saw was a sun eclipse whitch has effect his mind in was no one could imagen. And his name was Suni.

 

Theme song plays- Are You Smarter Than A 3rd Grader?

He was born outside? Don't you need special glasses to look at sun eclipses? There's too many errors. I'm not bothering to correct them.

 

As Years went by Suni was a great at every thing he did, sometimes even too great and no one knew how a child from poor family like his could ever be good at something.

 

You just insulted every poor family in the Earth. A person can't be good at something if he/she was poor?

 

Sani was 17 when he learned about his power. He had a dream where he was sacreficed on a cross when out of know where a flash of light had come out of his eyes and he could hear everyones thoughts.

 

Yes, he is sacrificed on a cross because he is *obvious person*. And the flash of light was made by *obvious person*.

 

As Suni woke up thinking that he just had a nightmare, he heard his mother saying that she has to go to work and that she his leaving him for good. Suni ran down screaming and begging his mom to stay. Sani's mom then said the most wierd answer Sani could have thought " i did not say anything". Sani fell on the gorund shocked of what he just heard and then realised that his dream was not another regular dream.

 

What is a gorund? Is that a Japanese word?[/sarcasm]

So he fainted because his mom gave him a weird answer...uh huh...

 

it was an ephini .

A couple of Years went by and Sani was used to his power and used it to get what he wanted.

 

"Years" is capitalized? "It" is not capitalized? You can use and a bunch of times, and you don't have to use commas? Who's your English teacher?

 

But in the middle of the Year 2585 the French King gave a speech whitch in it he said that he has plans to destory japan off the map and use it's gorunds to build a big aramy base.

 

It makes perfect sense that you have to blow up Japan before you can make a big aramy(lolwut?) base on it.[/sarcasm]

 

At that Moment Sani fell down and dreamed another dream. but this time Sani saw him self holding a cross of pure gold in his hand and once again with a birght light comming out of his eyes and the Z'ack the Second on the floor with a sword in his back. Sani woke up stood up and knew what he need to do.TO STOP Z'ack The Second and take his thrown.

 

Is Sani a Christian? Also, random caps lock much? Again, lots of errors, not bothering to fix.

 

End

 

Fin