Super Sayin 4 Goku Posted February 23, 2010 Report Share Posted February 23, 2010 [spoiler=Part one~Monday] As I sat there in my room alone I thought of todays events. "Nerd!" "Freak!" "Get away from me homo!" Those three phrases haunted me like a ghost straight out of a horror novel or movie. I wished they could understand me. That night at dinner when we shared the events of our days, I watched "The football star of the century" aka my older brother jabroni i mean Frank tell us about his "Epic touchdown" I just sat there wishing the carrots on my plate would disapear. Just when my mom said "Whats the matter Reese you dont want to share about your day?" To which I replied "No mother you wouldnt understand." "Oh now son of course I would." said my mother oblivious to what she was going to say next. "I was a young girl too you know." I through the expensive china dishes in front of me to the ground. "Mom I will tell you about my day. First I fell down the stairs and sprained my ankle, second I got kicked in the balls by this girl who said I was stalking her, then I got laughed at because my clothes were stolen out of my locker in gym while I was showering. So in turn yes mom you are right I didnt want to share about my day because I went to 5th Period NAKED!" "Oh Reese life sucks get over it." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thecross Posted February 23, 2010 Report Share Posted February 23, 2010 wow that sucks, is that true, because if it is i pity you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weather Report - Stand Posted February 24, 2010 Report Share Posted February 24, 2010 It's likely not real at all, since of course, as nobody would go to 5th period naked. It's not much of a story, as you used poor grammar, and it's so short. The very start seemed much deeper than the story actually turned out to be, to my dismay, and, well, I don't QUITE get the point of it yet. Add stuff and make it better, and then we can judge it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Sayin 4 Goku Posted February 25, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 25, 2010 It is ment to be multiple parts not just one and of course that is fake Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thecross Posted February 25, 2010 Report Share Posted February 25, 2010 ok cuz if that was real, your life would suck lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Sayin 4 Goku Posted February 25, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 25, 2010 Totally I got the idea from a disney movie I was watching called minuetmen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thecross Posted February 25, 2010 Report Share Posted February 25, 2010 ya i watched that, r u gonna add to ur story? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaisu Posted February 25, 2010 Report Share Posted February 25, 2010 What Weather said. Also, allow me to say Say Whaaat? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thecross Posted February 25, 2010 Report Share Posted February 25, 2010 I'm starting to lose interest Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Sayin 4 Goku Posted February 26, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 26, 2010 Sorry will make new chapter tomorow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twig Posted February 26, 2010 Report Share Posted February 26, 2010 It's likely not real at all' date=' since of course, as nobody would go to 5th period naked. It's not much of a story, as you used poor grammar, and it's so short. The very start seemed much deeper than the story actually turned out to be, to my dismay, and, well, I don't QUITE get the point of it yet. Add stuff and make it better, and then we can judge it.[/quote']What Weather said. Also' date=' allow me to say [i']Say Whaaat?[/i] These. You don't have to continue. This is not good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weather Report - Stand Posted February 27, 2010 Report Share Posted February 27, 2010 Yeah, I get what you're saying, Twig. And to elaborate as to what I believed this was going to be, I bring you back to your first lines: As I sat there in my room alone I thought of todays events. "Nerd!" "Freak!" "Get away from me homo!" The last one made me think that this was going to be some interesting story about some kid coming to terms with his sexuality... but no, it's much less than this.So you've either got to:1. Fix this.2. Invent this story into something interesting.3. Throw in the towel.So choose one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaisu Posted March 1, 2010 Report Share Posted March 1, 2010 You know, the whole "You know I was a young girl too you know", firstly, doesn't make sense, and secondly, gives the impression that 'I' is a girl. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DARKPLANT RISING Posted March 1, 2010 Report Share Posted March 1, 2010 If you're going to have people watch this story, then first make the opening happy. Reading this simply made me feel extremely bile, if you know what bile means. Until you make something everyone would feel pleasent at, don't post your fics. The computer exists to be fun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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