Twig Posted February 22, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 22, 2010 Why double post? I'd like to see the blurb. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flexh Posted February 22, 2010 Report Share Posted February 22, 2010 Why double post? I'd like to see the blurb. Sorry And OK here it is We have waited 1010 years for his return.We followed all of his examples,and tell tales about what he did in his supreme reign.When I do wrong he makes me smaller when I care and respect he makes me bigger,this is the Person who has done it all. Yes i know it is short Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twig Posted February 22, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 22, 2010 Why double post? I'd like to see the blurb. Sorry And OK here it is We have waited 1010 years for his return.We followed all of his examples' date=' and tell tales about what he did in his supreme reign.When I do wrong he makes me smaller. When I care and respect he makes me bigger. This is the person who has done it all.[/b'] Yes i know it is short I fixed it. Sounds interesting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flexh Posted February 22, 2010 Report Share Posted February 22, 2010 Why double post? I'd like to see the blurb. Sorry And OK here it is We have waited 1010 years for his return.We followed all of his examples' date=' and tell tales about what he did in his supreme reign.When I do wrong he makes me smaller. When I care and respect he makes me bigger. This is the person who has done it all.[/b'] Yes i know it is short I fixed it. Sounds interesting. Thank You And any ideas on what i could call it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twig Posted February 22, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 22, 2010 Well I haven't got an idea of what it is. Maybe if you wrote a prologue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DL Posted February 22, 2010 Report Share Posted February 22, 2010 Why double post? I'd like to see the blurb. Sorry And OK here it is We have waited 1010 years for his return.We followed all of his examples' date='and tell tales about what he did in his supreme reign.When I do wrong he makes me smaller when I care and respect he makes me bigger,this is the Person who has done it all. Yes i know it is short[/quote'] sounds like a poem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flexh Posted February 22, 2010 Report Share Posted February 22, 2010 Why double post? I'd like to see the blurb. Sorry And OK here it is We have waited 1010 years for his return.We followed all of his examples' date='and tell tales about what he did in his supreme reign.When I do wrong he makes me smaller when I care and respect he makes me bigger,this is the Person who has done it all. Yes i know it is short[/quote'] sounds like a poem.9I have writen it in a style so you don't know who this person is(untill the end of the book) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrid97 Posted February 22, 2010 Report Share Posted February 22, 2010 I havent posted here in sooo long, whats going on? srry but I dont want 2 read >. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twig Posted February 23, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 23, 2010 I forgot you were even in this club. Umm...nothing is going on except reading bucketkiller's blurb. Anybody have a new topic? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrid97 Posted February 23, 2010 Report Share Posted February 23, 2010 What's a blurb? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twig Posted February 23, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 23, 2010 A short description of a book, film, musical work, or other product written and used for promotional purposes. It's usually at the back of a book. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
radio414 Posted February 23, 2010 Report Share Posted February 23, 2010 I forgot you were even in this club. Umm...nothing is going on except reading bucketkiller's blurb. Anybody have a new topic? Obvious Mary Sues? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twig Posted February 23, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 23, 2010 I forgot you were even in this club. Umm...nothing is going on except reading bucketkiller's blurb. Anybody have a new topic? Obvious Mary Sues? What? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zimiri of the Muse Posted February 23, 2010 Report Share Posted February 23, 2010 [spoiler=!!!!!!!]Zach KulaReligion Short Story, 2-22-10Blessed are They Who are Persecuted for the Sake of Righteousness, for Theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven Mike was an average 19 year old guy. He was a high school graduate and valedictorian. He was often in trouble throughout high school and grade school. He would often get in fights over what seemed like small and unimportant reasons. It seemed as if he would go wild and fight over things that did not even concern him such as when a classmate stole another classmate’s pen. It seemed to the teachers as if he was a very nosy and temperamental child who was always making trouble. But this couldn’t be farther from the truth. He was actually a very calm boy who was a great thinker. The reason he was always being involved in fights was because he could not stand the tiniest most insignificant form of injustice. When a friend or enemy would be treated unfairly either by a friend or another enemy or even a teacher, he would become infuriated. If it was a friend or enemy he would kindly and calmly ask the person causing the injustice to stop. Most of the time when it was his one of friend(s) causing the injustice they would stop doing so. When it was one of his enemies were causing the injustice he or she would not stop and try to get him to fight. They knew he would fight and get in trouble and when he got taken away by the teachers they would snicker. When it was a teacher he would do many things. He would yell, stand on desks and do other things. He had an ever-increasing amount of detentions and suspensions. Once he even tried stopping a convenience store robbery and ended up getting shot in the leg. He got no reward just insults such as. “Why did you do that? Wanted some extra attention?” Or “Why don’t you stop trying to be a hero, it only makes you look dumber.”These insults for some strange reason did not bother Mike. Other times he would try to break up bar fights and would end up being dragged out kicking and screaming by his friends, or glass filled and bloody by his friends, or paramedics. He had a well paying job as a newspaper reporter; he was quite good at this job as he would uncover very interesting and important truths. One day as he was walking home, as he never took a car as he thought it unjust to ruin the earth and other people’s lives with pollution. As he was walking home he saw police cars in a half circle nest to the side of a large and busy bridge built over white water rapids, a man was actually on top of the bridge. It was a cable bridge and he was on a platform that stretched over the bridge to help support the cables. He had several other figures up there all in a squatting position. Mike heard screams. He ran up to a police officer and asked. “What is happening?” the officer replied “There is a lunatic up there with a gun and several hostages and he says if we don’t give him a plane and 1,000,000 dollars he will kill them all.”Mike was already sprinting for the far side of the bridge. He found a cable and climbed up. He almost blew off in the strong winds twice. He eventually snuck up behind the man. He was dragging a hostage to the edge to throw her off and prove a point. He snuck up behind him and grabbed the hostage. He pulled her to safety. He then tackled the man off the edge of the bridge and they both fell. The criminal was saved by his leg being caught in two cables. Mike was not so lucky and fell like a ragdoll into the water with a small smile on his face. The day after the whole city threw flowers and the hostages threw giant banner into the river that said. If he would have survived he would have been charged with attempted murder of the criminal. He will live on in our minds forever, and all the injustice that he faced. i need critique asap, its due tomarrow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
radio414 Posted February 23, 2010 Report Share Posted February 23, 2010 Nice, for a last minute project. Mary Sue: A female who is so perfect, that the only person who likes that particular character is the author. Everyone else hates their guts. If the character is male, he's called a Gary Stu, or a similar name.Note that some characters seem like Mary Sues, but also have overwhelming flaws that cancel out Sueish tendencies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zimiri of the Muse Posted February 23, 2010 Report Share Posted February 23, 2010 thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twig Posted February 23, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 23, 2010 That was a great short story. You should post it in Fanfic section. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zimiri of the Muse Posted February 23, 2010 Report Share Posted February 23, 2010 Really? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twig Posted February 23, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 23, 2010 It's not bad at all. I don't remember seeing grammar and punctuation errors. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaisu Posted February 23, 2010 Report Share Posted February 23, 2010 I havn't read it yet, but as for bucket's blurb, how's this? A Millenia..Ten Years.. He set us examples, and we have followed them.. We pass along tales of his supreme reign, in fear or in respect.. When we sway from his view, we shrink, become smaller..When we follow him, with care and respect, we grow, becoming bigger.. This person has been behind it all... Just kinda edited it to my preferences, I guess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silas Angel Posted February 23, 2010 Report Share Posted February 23, 2010 I wish to enter ^_^ You know my username, my favorite books are Theological books, Song of the Lioness, and I've forgotten the others =/ Anyways, I can write but it's late and I'd rather not think right now =P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twig Posted February 23, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 23, 2010 I wish to enter ^_^ You know my username' date=' my favorite books are Theological books, Song of the Lioness, and I've forgotten the others =/ Anyways, I can write but it's late and I'd rather not think right now =P[/quote'] You forgot to copy and paste the form? Anyways, accepted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silas Angel Posted February 23, 2010 Report Share Posted February 23, 2010 I wish to enter ^_^ You know my username' date=' my favorite books are Theological books, Song of the Lioness, and I've forgotten the others =/ Anyways, I can write but it's late and I'd rather not think right now =P[/quote'] You forgot to copy and paste the form? Anyways, accepted. No =P I just didn't see much of a need to structure it like that as long as I had the info Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DL Posted February 23, 2010 Report Share Posted February 23, 2010 either way, since the topic is apparently short stories, I have a bunch of them. Most meh, from my early days in creative writing class... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twig Posted February 23, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 23, 2010 If you don't like the topic, you can change it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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