Twig Posted February 10, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 10, 2010 The prologue so far... Reveal hidden contents The clock struck the twelve with both hands, signaling that midnight had arrived. Born under a large tree, a baby unlike most babies was born. Even in the ominous wind, not a cry uttered from his small mouth. For comfort, all he had was the warmth of his parent's embrace. All three of them sat there, illuminated only by the glow of the full moon and light of the shining stars. The mother cried, a smile across her face... "It's a miracle," Clerotes, the father, said. Before the baby was born, Enallia, the mother, had a severe illness. They thought the illness could harm the baby, or even worse, kill him. It was a miracle to the parents that nothing had happened. Nothing went wrong. Nothing at all. "Oh it's a boy! What should we name him?" "Now, now, Enallia. We should find a good place for you and the baby to rest." *Seven Years Later* "Father, where are you going?" asked Primerio. "To work in the fields." Primerio frowned and crossed his arms. "I thought you only worked for eight hours." "I am working two more hours. The price of food has risen. I'm afraid you'll have to start working, too." "Work in the fields?" "They won't take anymore workers, and if they were, they wolud not take you. You're too young. I've talked to Tybalt Reguran." "You want me to work for him?" "You'll be his apprentice." "But father! He is a grumpy old man. Nobody likes him at all." "I am afraid we have no choice. He's the only one taking an apprentice. We have spoken to everyone. You will start tomorrow." Primerio's father headed outside with a sad face. Before he left, he said one more thing. "Your mom and I only want the best for you." Primerio was about to reply, but his father had already closed the door. Why do they always have to work? Not only are they in the fields most of the time, but do we really have to live in a village where kids are scarce? Primerio had caught the bad habit of talking to himself. There’re hardly any kids, and the kids that are actually there don't talk to him. Primerio decided to go outside to have his last walk around town freely before he has to work with Tybalt Reguran, the blacksmith. As he strolled down the green grassy field, he saw a girl. He stopped in his tracks. He had never seen a girl before. He'd seen women, but never a girl, much less one the same age as him. The girl stood in the middle of the field, facing away from Primerio. At first glance, he knew he liked her. She had long, flowing brown hair, and she wore a thin white dress that flew in the direction of the wind. She was beautiful. Simply beautiful. The girl slowly bent down and picked up a white daisy. Primerio quickly ran to a nearby tree to hide. The girl plucked the petals of the daisy one by one. The blowing wind sent the white petals spinning around the girl. Then, the petals flew towards Primerio. Thinking that the wind will blow the petals to some place else, he remained in his position. The petals continued to head toward him. Before long, he realized those petals weren’t going to stop. The girl turned around to see where the petals had gone. It's pretty boring, but it's a prologue. They're boring most of the time anyways. This is not finished by the way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sploda Posted February 10, 2010 Report Share Posted February 10, 2010 It looks well written and everything as just enough detail (yes you can have to much detail).Can't wait to see all of it. I just posted the first chapter of my Fanfic (with some major changes done). Would anyone care to read?Story of the Burning Treasure of Lost Kings Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twig Posted February 10, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 10, 2010 Quote It looks well written and everything as just enough detail (yes you can have to much detail).Can't wait to see all of it. I just posted the first chapter of my Fanfic (with some major changes done). Would anyone care to read?Story of the Burning Treasure of Lost Kings Thanks. Darklink401 helped, too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
radio414 Posted February 10, 2010 Report Share Posted February 10, 2010 Personally, I think you could end the entire prolougue right there. Introducing the major plot point in chapter 1 isn't a bad idea, and it's already a pretty long prolougue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twig Posted February 10, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 10, 2010 'radio414 said: Personally' date=' I think you could end the entire prolougue right there. Introducing the major plot point in chapter 1 isn't a bad idea, and it's already a pretty long prolougue.[/quote'] I'm going to add a few more paragraphs, buy yeah, I don't want it to be too long. This is just a flashback. Edit: I just noticed, we don't have a title for our story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EliminateHRN Posted February 10, 2010 Report Share Posted February 10, 2010 Crap, I need to make sure I know what's going on. So...what is going on? Books we hate or the fan-fic book? Or both? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twig Posted February 10, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 10, 2010 'DecayingClaw said: Crap' date=' I need to make sure I know what's going on. So...what [i']is[/i] going on? Books we hate or the fan-fic book? Or both? Let's go with both. I still can't think of a title for our fanfic. I hate reading most of non-fiction books. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
radio414 Posted February 10, 2010 Report Share Posted February 10, 2010 The Legend?The Legend of Primero?Ballad?Story?idk I hate almost any book that is recommended to me by my patents. Sure, there are exceptions, but it's usually true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EliminateHRN Posted February 10, 2010 Report Share Posted February 10, 2010 I don't have many books I don't like reading. Maybe non-fiction books. Also, the Goosebumps series is awesome. And I can't think of a name, at least not now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azerty-of-KoL Posted February 10, 2010 Report Share Posted February 10, 2010 Maybe something like Gods' Revival? Something related to the 16 gods and Primero's quest to revive his love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Compass Posted February 10, 2010 Report Share Posted February 10, 2010 I'm pretty good at comeing up with monster names: I sometimes make them out of people's names. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DL Posted February 10, 2010 Report Share Posted February 10, 2010 My parents bought Eragon for me. I loved it. Anyway for a title, I guess it can be... Prime?Gods Alive?Retrace? (don't ask. IDK either...)Suzuken? EDIT: Yay! Cree-bozu joined ^.^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twig Posted February 10, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 10, 2010 'Darklink401 said: My parents bought Eragon for me. I loved it. Anyway for a title' date=' I guess it can be... Prime?Gods Alive?Retrace? (don't ask. IDK either...)Suzuken? EDIT: Yay! Cree-bozu joined ^.^[/quote'] The book or the movie? I heard the movie was terrible. Who's Cree-bozu? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DL Posted February 10, 2010 Report Share Posted February 10, 2010 The movie was good, if you didn't compare it to the book. If you did compare it to the book, it sucked big time. Cree-bozu = Creator Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twig Posted February 10, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 10, 2010 That was my first guess. As for the title. Revival?Revive?Quest for Resurrection? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sploda Posted February 10, 2010 Report Share Posted February 10, 2010 Title?Lifetime of loss?Mortal Insurrection?Ressurection of the soul? Thats all I've got. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DL Posted February 10, 2010 Report Share Posted February 10, 2010 Vinnizio? Millena's? IDK< I'm no good with titles... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twig Posted February 11, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 11, 2010 Let's think of the title later. I doesn't matter right now. Anybody got a topic? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eury Posted February 11, 2010 Report Share Posted February 11, 2010 Well, I'm trying to come up with a story. It'll take place during Medieval Times, of course. It'll have a couple made up Gods and Creatures. The story will be about certain humans who were "plagued" at birth. One of their arms is pitch black and clawed. When they age 13, they grow wings and gain the ability to use Magic. At 16, they are "kidnapped" by the Gods to test their worthiness. If they succeed, they become a Demigod. If they fail, they are "cured" and lose their abilities. The main plot will follow one of these humans and his quest to become a Demigod and what happens to him after he succeeds/fails. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
radio414 Posted February 11, 2010 Report Share Posted February 11, 2010 "Plagued" makes it sound like a sexually communicable disease. "Cursed" maybe?Good idea, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pichu Posted February 11, 2010 Report Share Posted February 11, 2010 I'm writing a story about a boy named Max, his sisters Molly and Taylor, Max's friend Nate, and the girls' friend Alexis. They are having a sleepover and the boys tell the girls about a ghost who lives in the house and when you are the next victim he'll leave a note in your bathroom written in blood. But it turns out the story is real and have to survive a night with no parents with a ghost that gets closer to killing them every second! The title is "The Bloody Note". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twig Posted February 11, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 11, 2010 'Eurynome said: Well' date=' I'm trying to come up with a story. It'll take place during Medieval Times, of course. It'll have a couple made up Gods and Creatures. The story will be about certain humans who were "plagued" at birth. One of their arms is pitch black and clawed. When they age 13, they grow wings and gain the ability to use Magic. At 16, they are "kidnapped" by the Gods to test their worthiness. If they succeed, they become a Demigod. If they fail, they are "cured" and lose their abilities. The main plot will follow one of these humans and his quest to become a Demigod and what happens to him after he succeeds/fails.[/quote'] How about make each god have their own/pick their own children to be cursed? I don't know, just putting out ideas. 'tghr02 said: I'm writing a story about a boy named Max' date=' his sisters Molly and Taylor, Max's friend Nate, and the girls' friend Alexis. They are having a sleepover and the boys tell the girls about a ghost who lives in the house and when you are the next victim he'll leave a note in your bathroom written in blood. But it turns out the story is real and have to survive a night with no parents with a ghost that gets closer to killing them every second! The title is "The Bloody Note".[/quote'] I haven't seen a horror story for a while. I think you should make it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eury Posted February 11, 2010 Report Share Posted February 11, 2010 That's actually what I was thinking of doing. Every century, each God selects a human to be cursed. Oh, and these humans will be called "Arks". They'll be called that till I come up with a better name or a cooler spelling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twig Posted February 11, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 11, 2010 'Eurynome said: That's actually what I was thinking of doing. Every century' date=' each God selects a human to be cursed. Oh, and these humans will be called "Arks". They'll be called that till I come up with a better name or a cooler spelling.[/quote'] Well the whole thing sounds like a good idea. Are you going to make it or are you thinking about it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eury Posted February 11, 2010 Report Share Posted February 11, 2010 Still thinking about it. I have a bad habit of posting the 1st Chapter of a Fic, and I never get around to finishing it. =/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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