Slicer224 Posted January 21, 2010 Report Share Posted January 21, 2010 Yu-Gi-Oh!: Days of the Dragons This story takes place 13-14 years after Yusei defeats the Dark signers and saves the world.In New/Neo Domino City. This story begins... Name: James FudoAge: 13 (turning 14 in another year)Appearance: He has blue eyes. Blond hair. He is medium sized. He is confident in himself and believes in the Heart of the Cards.Bio:He is 13 years old. He loves to duel. He loves testing different cards in custom decks. He loves creating decks. He is very confident in himself and as listed before believes in the Heart of the Cards.Personality:As listed confident but not cocky.He believes in his cards. He loves dueling to test his skill and strategy. He loves driving his D-Wheel and Turbo Dueling his friends. More character descriptions and details on characters later to be posted.Please comment on what I have so far. Prologue:I use the Spell Card Polymerization to fuse 'Summoned Skull' and 'Winged Warrior' to Fusion Summon 'Armored Summoned Skull'!"James said. "Now attack his 'Mech Fighter Alpha' 3200 attack! That'll end my turn." "Impossible!" said Lucas "How are you winning!" "First I'll draw," he swiped up a card. "then I'll summon 'Blackwing-Shura The Blue Flame' in Attack Mode! Then I use the Equip Spell Card 'Blackwing Arsenal' and raise his ATK and DEF by 700! 2400 attack and 1900 defense!"said Lucas, both confidently and defiantly "Then I'll place 3 face downs on the field and I'll end my turn." --James-- Life Points:4000 Cards in hand:3 Monsters on field:1 Cards in Deck:28 Cards in Graveyard:3 --Lucas-- Life Points:3600 Cards in hand:1 Monsters on field:1 Cards in Deck:32 Cards in Graveyard:1 To be continued! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.Leo Posted January 22, 2010 Report Share Posted January 22, 2010 =/ Low Description on character makes me less interested. Follow this when making characters. Eliminate the (Text Inside) when doing it. [b]Name:[/b] (First and Last. Try to be original.)[b]Age:[/b][b]Appearance:[/b] (Picture & a +4 sentence description)[b]Bio:[/b] (About 5-7 Sentences)[b]Personality:[/b] (About 4-5 Sentences)[/Code] That will make your descriptions more interesting. I will see what the first Chapter has to offer when it comes out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slicer224 Posted January 22, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 22, 2010 Thank you for the comment and advice Leo! Any other comments?Please comment on Part 1 of Chapter 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slicer224 Posted January 23, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 23, 2010 BUMP!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaisu Posted January 23, 2010 Report Share Posted January 23, 2010 Ugh. It took me about 5 seconds to read it all.Too short, even for one part, no description, to quick, bad typing/punctuation, and it makes no sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slicer224 Posted January 23, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 23, 2010 Yeah I was in fact typing it in a rush sorry and Chapter 1 was like a Prologue I guess maybe that's what I should title it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twig Posted January 23, 2010 Report Share Posted January 23, 2010 That's not even a Prologue. 1)Every new dialogue is a new paragraph.2)This is 100% dialogue. Needs description.3)It is too short and way too boring. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slicer224 Posted January 23, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 23, 2010 Figured. I'll try to edit it when I have time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slicer224 Posted January 24, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 24, 2010 BUMP! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.Leo Posted January 25, 2010 Report Share Posted January 25, 2010 Please give description on setting, characters, plot and some decent dialouge. Try to take some time. Make it perfect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slicer224 Posted January 25, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 25, 2010 Thank you for the advice yeah I'll try but nothing is perfect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slicer224 Posted January 26, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 26, 2010 BUMP! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaisu Posted January 26, 2010 Report Share Posted January 26, 2010 Is it just me, or did you change the name? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slicer224 Posted January 27, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 27, 2010 Yes you are very observantMore added to the Prologue-BUMP! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twig Posted January 28, 2010 Report Share Posted January 28, 2010 No details at all. 100% dialogue is not very good. Besides, you don't even know dialogue punctuation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slicer224 Posted January 28, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 28, 2010 Hey at least it's better than the old story! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slicer224 Posted January 31, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 31, 2010 BUMP! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twig Posted January 31, 2010 Report Share Posted January 31, 2010 Why are you bumping? You didn't add anything new. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaisu Posted January 31, 2010 Report Share Posted January 31, 2010 Lulz. Good point Twig. But still, are you even going to update this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slicer224 Posted January 31, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 31, 2010 Probably soon y u all seem to hate it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slicer224 Posted February 10, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 10, 2010 Bumpidiy BUMP Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slicer224 Posted March 19, 2010 Author Report Share Posted March 19, 2010 Old thread BUMP!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twig Posted March 19, 2010 Report Share Posted March 19, 2010 No one is posting for a reason you know. When you bump, you're suppose to add something new. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaisu Posted March 19, 2010 Report Share Posted March 19, 2010 Not to mention, necrobumped. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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