Yankee Posted January 27, 2010 Report Share Posted January 27, 2010 Sort of dissapointing...Rather short..Not really any description..What does he even look like? Even if you say it on the profile, you should still say something...Random change of views, and randomly fast story..o.0 Your letting a lot of story out in the first chapter, such as who is joining, and why. Idk I look forward to seeing this improve, as I know it will ^_\\\ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kōsuke Ueki Posted January 27, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 27, 2010 I know I did that and I apologize. I promise you, I will add more description. Other than that, I was having problems thinking of what to type other than description. My mind was just movin' around so much, I couldn't remember most of what I wanted to type. The next chapter will be longer, maybe. That all depends if some of my memory doesn't slip. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yankee Posted January 27, 2010 Report Share Posted January 27, 2010 I know I did that and I apologize. I promise you' date=' I will add more description. Other than that, I was having problems thinking of what to type other than description. My mind was just movin' around so much, I couldn't remember most of what I wanted to type. The next chapter will be longer, maybe. That all depends if some of my memory doesn't slip.[/quote'] Well, descriptions are a good way to make a chapter longer..;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kōsuke Ueki Posted January 27, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 27, 2010 I'll do the best I can. BTW, in order in which you guys applied will be the order of who will be introduced in each chapter. Twig's character is up next on description for Chapter 2, and Chapter 3 will be the time your character shines! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kōsuke Ueki Posted January 30, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 30, 2010 It took me a while but here it is![spoiler=Chapter 2]Sean Hamato is not the only one that is prophecised to prepare for Solari and Lunari. The next person is Alton. He is 14 with short, brown hair, brown eyes, and dark tan skin. He wears alot of brown short sleeve shirts, especially blue skinny jeans. Alton was an orphan of both parents when he was 6 and lived in an adoption center for 4 years. After he moved out, he had a strange interest in Pokémon. He loved to see battles so he decided to get Pokémon of his own liking. He went to a Pokémon Center where they were given away orphan Pokémon. They were free so Alton can pick freely. The Nurse Joy there said he had to pick 3 Pokémon. That's how many he wanted anyways. When Alton looked at the many Pokémon, he took some time thinking. When he saw the Shiny Cubone, he knew he would be the first to first of his choice. He then saw a mamoswine, who looked at Alton cheerfully. Alton decided to pick him as his second. He looked around and didn't see what else he wanted. He then went to the Nurse Joy and said, "I can only find 2 that I would like to have." "Well, what are they?" she asked Alton. "The Mamoswine and the Cubone!" "You mean that Cubone right there?" she asked, pointing at the Shiny Cubone that Alton chose. "Yeah." "I've been waiting for someone to choose him! Since you did, you can have this Turtwig egg!" "Wow!" "And you also get this special Pichu!" Nurse Joy gave Alton the Ultra Ball with the Pichu inside. "What's so special about it?" "He can use Volt Tackle!" "Are you kidding? Awesome!" Alton had an excited look on his face. "There's more, too!" Nurse Joy went to the back and gave Alton a bag full of items. "This bag is full of items that you can use!" "Great! Thank you!" "You're welcome!" Alton got his other Pokémon in Pokéballs and he left. "Thanks for your support!" And from that point on, Alton was training his Pokémon to the fullest, feeling ready to take on the rest of the world. When Alton turned 12, he set his mind on becoming a Pokémon Master, much like Ash Ketchum, but with different Pokémon. He began his journey by entering Kanto City. He challenged the Kanto Gym Leaders on 3-on-3 matches and won all of them within 8 months. He lost a few of them a few times and never gave up. Alton then set his journey to the Johto Regions when he turned 13. It was much harder and it took until a week before what's happening now to win all of the matches of each Gym Leader. When he won he then set his journey to Sinnoh. Of course, walking there would take 2 weeks, but he managed to make it there at the present Time Line. He has already won 2 matches of Gym Leaders. He still plans to beat all of the Sinnoh Gym Leaders and become a legend. If he does not become a champion, though, his second thought would be to become a Frontier Brain. Of course, like Sean, Alton is also in the prophecy to help prepare for Solari and Lunari's arrival. There will be something that will bring him, Sean, and 2 others to a cave that shall reveal their destiny and make sure the world will not end. It is said in the prophecy that the next Solar and Lunar Eclipses will occur within the next month and week. It might take a week for our destined Pokémon trainers to understand their destiny, for it will take a month in time for the preparation. The prophecy reveals also that a woman named Notla was with Naes at both experiences, along with 2 others. The day Solari and Lunari have come to our world, we will be sure that we are prepared through 30 1-day tasks that lead closer and closer to Solari and Lunari's arrival. It is nearly upon us! Our response will be unlike any other! The next one mentioned in the prophecy was named Lance Sable(?) who looks more dark than the others. It is time to see what he is capable of. Is this better? If there are any flaws, explain them. And if it's still too short, I still apologize. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slicer224 Posted January 31, 2010 Report Share Posted January 31, 2010 Nice chap. 1&2! Like 'em both looking forward to Chapter 3! :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kōsuke Ueki Posted February 2, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 2, 2010 Alton has been added to the "Characters" list. But now, there will be two more characters added to the new list below. [spoiler=Characters 2] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.