thesynchrofusion Posted January 10, 2010 Report Share Posted January 10, 2010 My Own 5d's Meet Gx StoryChapter One, Missing Signers A few day's after the final duel that involved Yuesi-Rex-Crow&JackEverybody is recovering from the damage the earthbound immortals caused Misty Tredwell Was back in Paris doing photo shoots, Carly Carmine was trying to catch the latest scoop involving Jack Atlas One Night, Whilst the signers where minding there own, There signer marks started to Glow, the glow was getting more powerful, it started to to hurt them, all of a sudden a flash of light appeared and each signer individually started Teleporting to the original Enerdy Reactor, In due time Akiza, Yusei, Luna, Jack, Crow, where stood around the original enerdy Reactor, ''So, what are we doing here'' Yusei Asked''Don't ask me, i was sleeping'' Crow Replied''Mina, do you know whats happening here'' Jack Asked''Im Afraid i dont Jack'' She Replied looking DissapointedSuddenly There mark Began letting out a sinister glow As they started to connect, Yusei's Mark Connected to Akiza's, Akiza's Connected to Luna's, Luna's Connected to Crow's Crow's Connected to Jack's, and Jack's connected to Yusei's''Um... Whats going on, Im frightened, Leo Help me!'' Luna Shouted ''Dont worry, Im here sis, im not gonna let anything Happen to You'' Leo Replied, Whilst Gripping Luna's Free HandSuddenly a red flash of light appeared and Leo & Luna had DisserpearedAkiza Gasped As only the Twins Night Caps Remained ''What's Happening i feel funny'' Akiza Said with a tremble in her voiceAs she also Disserpeared As, did crow ''Jack whats going on,'' Mina screamed as she clung to Jack Suddenly A big flash appeared and Yusei, Jack & Mina had DisseppearedOfficer Trudge Pulled Up Outside the Reactor''Ahhh, What was That'' He Said to HimselfHe Heard something Rumaging In the trash cans ''HEY, who's there'' He Shouted with fear in his voiceCRASHH, a trash can fell to the ground, and out crawling came Carly Carmine''CARLY!!, What are you doing in there'' Trudge Said With a sigh of Relief''Looking for my next Scoop What else'' She said as she was picking a bananna peel of her shoulder''Did you see what Happened here?'' Trudge Asked''Uh..., Well..., i..., um..., Oh dear'' She stutteredOfficer Trudge Sighs He looks up at the sky and thinks to himself*Yusei what have you got your self into this time* End of Chapter 1 Chapter 2, Strange Island ''Um... Hey, Exuse me,.. wake up'' Said a Male VoiceAs Leo Opened His Eyes Leaning Over him was a Teenage boy, Quite small, Long Blue Jacket, small glasses and blue hair that spikes outwards''Argh, Leo Leaps up, Who are yo-.., wait where's luna, oh..man where is she i promised i'd protect her'' Leo Screamed Whilst Running around franticly''Hey calm down, Im Syrus,.. Syrus Trusdale, and if your looking for a girl thats about your height, green hair, she went of into the forest looking for you,'' Syrus Explained''Oh, Im Leo, Glad to meet you syrus'' Leo said ''You look odd, Are you from Around here'' Syrus Said Looking Puzzled''Um... Im An exchange student,'' Leo Lied''Great, Where do you come from?'' Syrus Asked''New Domino City'' Leo Replied''New Domino City?, ..Silly, you Just Because Kiabacorp is getting a new builing doesnt make it 'New' '' Syrus said as he Laughed''LEOOOOOOO'' Shouted Luna''Over hear'' Leo Shouted Back''Ah, Leo'' Shouted Luna''Oh, Luna'' Shouted LeoThey ran towards eachother and gave eachother a hug.''Now why dont i take you to the chancellors Office'' Syrus ExplainedMeanwhile Near the port''Hey, Hey, HEYYYYY, Get up Slacker This isnt the place to take a nap'' Shouted a Voice''Uhhh, Where, Where am i , '' Said a Tired Voice''I'LL TELL YOU WHERE YOU ARE YOUR IN THE WAY OF MY FANS GETTING OF THERE BOAT'' Shouted the voice again''Will you stop, Shouting'' Said a VoiceAs the Annoyed character rose to his feet, there standing was a tall boy, with a long black coat, and black spiky hair,''HEY, DO YOU MIND MOVING OUT THE WAY'' Shouted the voice''Urgh.. Do you mind Keeping it Down, and who are you'' Asked the Voice''WHATTT, YOU DONT KNOW WHO I AM, IM CHAZZ PRINCETON, THE CHAZZ, But you can call me, 'Oh, PowerFul one' '' Chazz Shouted''So 'Chazzy' What is this place, Oh, and im Crow Hogan'' Crow Explained''Oh Thats, It i've had enough Duel me'' Chazz Said Impatiently ''And, If you beat me i'll tell you what this place is'' He added''Grr.. Okay Fine,.. wait i dont a duel disk Where's it gone'' Crow PanickedChazz unlocks his boat and takes out the duel Disk .. HEAR CATCH'' He shouted''Got it'' Crow Said''Now you do have a deck dont you'' Chazz said Cocky''hmph'' Crow Mumbled''Duel'' ''Game on'' Crow & Chazz Shouted together''What was that'' Crow Said''Its what we say around here, you got that'' Chazz ExlpainedEnd of Chapter 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weather Report - Stand Posted January 10, 2010 Report Share Posted January 10, 2010 Time travel automatically makes a story crappy. Just look at the new Yugioh movie! Plus, your grammar stinks and you need to describe more. A LOT more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thesynchrofusion Posted January 10, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 10, 2010 Time travel automatically makes a story crappy. Just look at the new Yugioh movie! Plus' date=' your grammar stinks and you need to describe more. A LOT more.[/quote'] For god sake, shut your mouth, i thought of this story ages ago, before i had heard of the movie.and how does my grammar stink, and i described good i think Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twig Posted January 10, 2010 Report Share Posted January 10, 2010 Time travel automatically makes a story crappy. Just look at the new Yugioh movie! Plus' date=' your grammar stinks and you need to describe more. A LOT more.[/quote'] For god sake, shut your mouth, i thought of this story ages ago, before i had heard of the movie.and how does my grammar stink, and i described good i think It doesn't matter if you thought of it ages ago. He's just making an example. He's not saying you copied it. You're grammar does stink. I don't see a single period in there. I also saw a bunch of useless capitalized letters. I also saw spelling errors. Learn to take criticism. Don't tell him to shut his mouth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legend Zero Posted January 10, 2010 Report Share Posted January 10, 2010 you need to describe more. A LOT more.^ This ^ Its hard to understand and follow. The signers were teleported then all of a sudden non-signers are there as well? You need to get things straight and try to sort out things out...Everything happened so fast on Chapter 1. 0.o Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weather Report - Stand Posted January 10, 2010 Report Share Posted January 10, 2010 Time travel automatically makes a story crappy. Just look at the new Yugioh movie! Plus' date=' your grammar stinks and you need to describe more. A LOT more.[/quote'] For god sake, shut your mouth, i thought of this story ages ago, before i had heard of the movie.and how does my grammar stink, and i described good i think It doesn't matter if you thought of it ages ago. He's just making an example. He's not saying you copied it. You're grammar does stink. I don't see a single period in there. I also saw a bunch of useless capitalized letters. I also saw spelling errors. Learn to take criticism. Don't tell him to shut his mouth.And there you have it. And thank you, Octoberon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Averex8 Posted January 10, 2010 Report Share Posted January 10, 2010 Just look at the new Yugioh movie! My thoughts exactly. I thought it as soon as I read this stories title. And this story also needs a lot of work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duel tester Posted January 10, 2010 Report Share Posted January 10, 2010 its unoriginal but i do wonder wow thew would face each othermake another chapter and make shure you fix your errors it sounds like the a hiden arc betwoen the dark signer arc and the wrdgp arcyou story is integing but but not very thought out.i give it a 6.9/10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thesynchrofusion Posted January 10, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 10, 2010 I Actually Did just right this as i go an im typing it um in notepad, correctly with all spellings ect, and i will update it shortly, and Duel Tester your right, it is an Arc between Ds and Wrdgp Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twig Posted January 12, 2010 Report Share Posted January 12, 2010 No offense, but this is bad. You have a lot of talking, but you don't have good detailed sentences. Plus, it has many many many mistakes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Des ＨＥＲＯ Posted January 12, 2010 Report Share Posted January 12, 2010 I think the fan fic needs a spoiler or something,I want the duels and don't make and I think this fan fic needs a lot of work.The viewers are right this fan fic is confusing we need to know where the people are all the times. Plus I could go on about the many improvements the fan fic needs but by the time Im finished it would be 10 years after now.Im joking but this fan fic still needs a lot of work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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