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Star Wars: The Battle of Catifas- CHAPTER 4 UP!

PikMan

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PikMan

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I've been trying to find a suitable planet idea for Star Wars, but I finally found one. Just so you know, this is in the Clone Wars time frame before Ahsoka came along. All I came up with is an opening crawl for at the beginning. Give me your opinions, every peoples! Oh, and as for being related to Yu-Gi-Oh... there's an obvious reference later in the fanfic.

 

And I know that there aren't indentions on the actual chapter, but I don't know why I couldn't get them to work. Oh, well. And I'm also not the best writer, so don't be suprised if it sucks, like The Phantom Menace. Chapter 2 mentions ARC Troopers and Chainguns, so I'll explain both: ARC stands for Advanced Recon Commando, and ARC troopers are basically special ops forces. Chainguns are basically Heavy Machine guns in the future.

 

[spoiler=Opening Crawl]

STAR WARS

 

THE BATTLE OF CATIFAS

 

It is a time of conflict. After the battle of

Geonosis, the Jedi have become increasingly

stretched throughout the galaxy, in an

attempt at assisting the Grand Army of the

Republic.

 

During the Seperatist attack on Kamino, the

Republic uses the distraction to launch an

invasion on the planet Nar Shaddaa, where

the Trade Federation is housing critical Droid

Factories.

 

After their capital ship is crippled by the Droid

fleet in orbit, the two Jedi are forced to land

on the planet of Taris. There they discover,

hidden in the underground complex of the

Lower City, a Seperatist outpost....

 

 

[spoiler=Chapter I]

Anakin began slicing into the force field controls. Obi-Wan's plan had been simple: Once they were in, they would destroy the communications antenna to create a diversion. Once the guards were distracted, they would hide a Thermal Detonator inside the power generator, and hightail out of there before the Thermal Detonator exploded. As Obi-Wan fingered the detonator he was to use, Anakin had finished slicing and the shields disappeared. The Jedi moves soundlessly through the corridors, making their way through to the communications.

 

Finding it was no problem, but it was shielded. To make matters worse, Anakin could hear Droidekas approaching the comms room. Anakin drew his lightsaber, but Obi-Wan said "I have a better idea."

 

That was right when the Droidekas entered. They activated their own shields, then fired a stream of blaster bolts towards Anakin and Obi-Wan. Both of the Jedi dropped to the floor, and the blasters passed through the shield, effectively crippling the comms antenna. As the confused Droidekas fired more blaster bolts, they were sent back by Anakin's lightsaber.

 

Obi-Wan's plan had worked so far, but they still had to destroy the power core. The guards had rushed to the comms room, so the halls were perfectly clear. As they entered the power generator's room, Obi-Wan was dismayed to see that while the guards were gone, there were still defenses in the room.

 

Two auto turrets were mounted on either side of the generator. They opened fire as soon as they detected the 2 Jedi. The noise attracted the guards which had been distracted. Obi-Wan realized that his plan was on the verge of failure.

 

The Droids' leader shouted, in its usual monotone voice, "Drop your weapons." Anakin and Obi-Wan did so. Obi-Wan then used the Force to chuck the Droids at the auto turrets, and a small explosion disabled the turrets.

 

 

Anakin looked at the wreckage of the base. A gunship had arrived in the hangar and was following the now destroyed capital ship's signal, which was still intact. But before Anakin could enter the gunship, something in the rubble caught his eye. It was a data holocron. Anakin picked it up, and he showed the holocron to Obi-Wan. "Whatever's in it, it must be shown to the Council." Obi-Wan replied "I hope that we can make use of it. If we can, we could tip the scale in our favor for the war."

 

 

The next day Anakin and Obi-Wan stood before the Council. Yoda spoke first. "Found something you have, hm?" Anakin held out the holocron and opened it. It showed a star map that was showing a route from Taris to another planet.

 

The planet was called Catifas.

 

"That's odd, the planet isn't mentioned in the archives," Mace Windu commented. "We will send a squad of troopers there immediately." Obi-Wan stepped forward and said, "We will go with the troops to the planet." Mace Windu said, "Very well. The troops will arrive tomorrow.

 

Anakin and Obi-Wan bowed in agreement.

 

 

Catifas was an unusual planet. When they first landed, Anakin wasn't sure if the planet was more like Geonosis or Sullust. It was a desert planet, sure, but there was volcanic activity in several spots. It was completely unsettled, except for a relatively large building in the distance.

 

Obi-Wan said, as he began leading the troopers, "I have a bad feeling about this."

 

[spoiler=Chapter II]Obi-Wan ordered the clones to go ahead on their own, so the droids would expect clones and not jedi. These were elite ARC Troopers. They could handle most droids. After they left, Obi-Wan went another route, and Anakin followed closely.

 

 

Inside the seperatist facility, General Grievous was supervising the creation of a new type of droid that could seal the war. These droids were special units called "Tuner Droids", which are designed to link up to normal droids and form more powerful "Synchro Droids" who had heightened abilities.

 

Just then, a Droid Commander came in holding a holoprojector, which displayed a map of the surrounding area. Anakin and Obi-Wan's landing craft was shown to be 18 kilometers away. "A Republic landing craft has been detected. It was carrying two Jedi Knights," the commander said. General Grievous, although his mask concealed his face, most likely was smiling. "Good. Fresh meat for the Synchro units."

 

 

Anakin knew that they would be detected sometime, but he didn't know when. Obi-Wan didn't know when either, but he still kept his guard up. Anakin was getting far ahead. Obi-Wan was busy climbing the cliff Anakin had just dashed up. "Slow down, Anakin!" he shouted, trying to find a handhold. Anakin heedlessly continued onward, paying no mind to a Battle Droid patrol on a nearby hill. One of them pulled out a comlink, and after activating it, said "We found them."

 

Obi-Wan had now gotten up the cliff. Anakin had finally gotten tired. Obi-Wan was just barely catching up, and said "You need to save your energy for when a battle droid hiding on a cliff shoots at you." Just then, the battle droids hiding on the cliff shot at Anakin. They missed, partly due to the stupidity of the droids themselves, but also the questionable accuracy of the blasters. Obi-Wan took off, and Anakin had to rest a second before he could catch up.

 

 

Grievous was not pleased to know that the droids blew their cover, but he had already sent out the Synchro Droids, so it didn't matter. Even though he knew the droids would likely be destroyed, it would buy him time to escape. He was as big a coward as he always was.

 

 

Obi-Wan arrived at the structure before Anakin did. "Don't rush ahead like you did on Geonosis, OK?" Anakin knew exactly what Obi-Wan was referring to. That was how he got his robotic right arm, but he doesn't think about it much. The troops had already got there. Their leader, who was recognizable by his red pauldron, ordered one of them to place a detonator on the entrance.

 

"As soon as the door blows, you two will fire your chainguns into the passage." Two troopers carrying chainguns took positions near the door. Then the commander continued. "Once the dust clears, the Jedi will go in, and we will follow them. And just to make sure that there are no Droidekas, I'll throw in an EC gerenade to disable the shields." He reached for the grenade.

 

The door blew open after the charge detonated. An electromagnetic charge blew inside the corridor, and 2 sets of blaster fire filled it in. Then the dust cleared, but there was no droid wreckage. The jedi advanced in cautiously. Then in walked a Droideka- No, not a Droideka. It looked like one, but there was a white device near the optical sensors, and there was a white set of 2 blaster cannons near the ones the droid already carried, and the bubble-like shield was red instead of blue.

 

It was a Synchro Droideka. It was followed closely by 2 other synchro Droidekas, and 8 Normal Synchro Droids- They looked like white, reinforced Battledroids carrying miniature rocket launchers on their wrists, which also sported 2 blaster cannons.

 

The Droidekas opened fire. Anakin and Obi-Wan deflected the bolts with their lightsabers, but the Tuner Droids also adressed the design flaw exploited last chapter: The blasters were designed to only pass through the shield once, and disappear if it made contact again.

 

The normal Synchro Droids then shot Wrist Rockets at the Republic forces, but Obi-Wan used the Force to redirect them at the ceiling over the droids, causing the helpless droids underneath to get squashed. The shields on the Droidekas, however, were also upgraded to withstand solid matter.

 

The clone commander threw another EC Detonator at the Droidekas. When the charge detonated, the droidekas were not destroyed, like normal ones, but their shields were not designed to withstand ionization. With the shields down, the Droidekas were sitting targets.

 

Anakin suddenly realized something. "These droids were never seen before. If they were created here, we can stop these upgraded droids at the source!" Obi-Wan could tell Anakin had an idea, but not a plan. Not yet, anyway.

 

[spoiler=Chapter III]

"Anakin, If we spend all day planning out an idea to stop the production of these new droids, we'll be sitting banthas by the time reinforcements arrive." Obi-Wan was normally patient, but they had already spent 10 minutes trying to find a plan. The clone commander added "And even if we can stand up to the droids, we might run out of ammo, and then we'll really be in trouble." One of the other clones commented, "Yeah, and I don't think our fists would make good weapons."

 

Just then, 4 Synchro Droids showed up. One of them said, "You! Jedi! Hands up!" Both Jedi lifted their hands- And Anakin's hand still had a lightsaber in it. In roughly 3 seconds all 4 droids had a hole in them. Suddnely, Anakin got a plan. An impractical plan, but a plan nonetheless.

 

When reinforcements, which consisted of 4 Synchro Droidekas, had arrived, they saw nothing but the wreckage of the last set of droids. They went ahead, thinking that Anakin and Obi-Wan had escaped. As soon as the droids were gone, Anakin, Obi-Wan, and the clones popped up from the wreckage. Obi-Wan said, "I can't believe I'm actually doing this!"

 

Finally they arived at the Tuner Droid facility. It looked just like the one on Geonosis, except the walls actually looked like metal. Now they had to figure out how to disable it. The clone commander said "There must be some schematics around here that we can use to find the factory's weak points." Anakin had just come up with another plan.

 

Anakin used the Force to stop one of the conveyor belts. Obi-Wan asked, "What are you doing?" Anakin replied, "I'm pretty sure that even a top-secret droid production facility has mechanics. So when something goes wrong-"

 

As if on cue, a Droid Mechanic arrived. Obi-Wan slashed his lightsaber through the droid, who had brought a schematics disc. The commander loaded it into his holoprojector. Sure enough, a map of the facility popped up. Anakin observed the projection. "It seems that this exhaust port here is linked directly to the main power source. If we could get an explosive into the exhaust port, the blast will destroy the power core, thus disabling the factory!"

 

Just as Anakin finished explaining, a squad of 16 Synchro Droids and 4 Synchro Droidekas marched up to them. Anakin's plan to obtain the design schematics had a major flaw: When the Mechanic was destroyed, his signal disappeared, which meant that someone had gotten rid of it!

 

The droids opened fire. After returning fire, the Commander shouted, "Jedi! Take this grenade, and get to the exhaust port! We'll hold them off!" Before tossing a thermal detonator, which Obi-Wan caught. They ran off before an EC Detonator thrown by one of the clones disabled the Droidekas' shields. Those troopers can handle anything, Anakin thought. It'd be a shame if they were ordered to kill all the Jedi. But that's not gonna happen.

 

A squad of normal Battle Droids, who were patrolling the facility, saw the Jedi running to the exhaust port. They shot their blasters at Anakin. One of the bolts hit Anakin's robotic hand. It was still functional, but slightly damaged and could easily be repaired. Anakin slashed through one of the droids before the Tuners came in. They linked up with the Battle Droids, which became Synchros and fired their wrist rockets at Obi-Wan, who redirected them using the Force at one of the Tuner Droid Storage Racks. The Tuners themselves, however, were still intact, and linked up with all the other normal droids.

 

Anakin deflected most of the blaster fire. The troopers weren't far behind, providing the Jedi with cover fire. Finally, Obi-Wan saw the exhaust port and pulled out the Thermal Detonator. He tossed it at the exhaust port, but it missed. One of the Synchro Droids fired a wrist rocket at the detonator, causing it to explode. The power core was still intact. It looked like all was lost.

 

[spoiler=Chapter IV]

By this time, the Clone Commander had found a hiding spot. Activating his comlink, he sniped one of the Synchro Droids. When the comlink activated, he said "Send in reinforcements, pronto!" Then one of the Droidekas found him. Before the shield could activate, one of the other clones fired several blasts.

 

When the Droideka collapsed, the Tuner Droid unattached itself and flew elsewhere. "I'd hate to be captain obvious", the commander said, "but these Tuners stay intact even if the host is destroyed!"

 

Anakin deflected several bolts that were shot towards him. Two Synchro Droidekas rolled in. Obi-Wan picked them up with the Force and flung them at another one with its shield up. Since the shields were designed to disentigrate solid matter, both Synchros were destroyed.

 

 

Meanwhile, the Republic Capital Ship had just arrived. Yoda and Mace Windu were in the hangar. As Yoda stepped into the gunship, which was full of troopers already, Windu got into a starfighter. Before he launched, he said "May the Force be with you." Yoda nodded in acknowledgement. The starfighters took off.

 

Unfortunately, Tuner Droids could also synchronize with Droid Starfighters, adding another set of blasters, 2 sets of Ion Blasters, and a set of Proton Torpedoes. There were 32 Synchro Starfighters in all, and only 11 Republic Fighters. A flurry of bolts, both red and blue, were flung out at the Republic Starfighters at remarkable speed. The gunship pulled out in time to avoid it.

 

Two of the starfighters were shot, and 1 of them had an engine malfunction, sending him spinning into the atmosphere. the other one's R2 Unit was disabled. The Republic starfighters returned fire with a volley of shots, harming 3 of the starfighters, and destroying one of them.

 

Before the starfighter exploded, the Tuner unhooked itself and attatched it to one of the Republic Fighters, taking control of it and flinging it into the underside of the Capital Ship. Another pilot who witnessed this realized that Tuners could even take control of enemy fighters!

 

Yoda's gunship was now being persued by incoming fighters. Yoda went up to the rear gun turret. After seeing the fighters, he reached out with the Force and caused the fighters to crash into each other. The gunship was about to enter the atmosphere. As it entered, General Grievous's escape craft could clearly be seen, but it was so unexpected the pilot did not fire.

 

 

Back on the ground, things weren't going so good. Obi-Wan slashed through 2 Synchros, making sure to slash through the white sections that were the Tuners. Neither one unhooked itself. Anakin was dodging missiles fired by a distant Synchro. The clone commander, seeing Anakin's peril, grabbed his blaster rifle and shot at the Tuner Droid. Both the tuner and the host were destroyed.

 

Suddenly a hole was blasted in the wall, and 6 large missiles flew through it, knocking away the droids. In flew the gunship, which deployed 15 Troopers and Yoda. Fourteen troopers hopped down and fired at every droid they could see, while one of them remained onboard, firing Electromagnetic Pulses at the Droidekas. Yoda leaped out, ignited his lightsaber, and slashed through 3 of the Tuner Droids, and the 3 Synchros blew up in the process.

 

A turbo laser shot from the capital ship and, when it hit, caused an explosion so powerful it caused the Power Generator to become unstable and briefly deactivate. This stopped the factory, but the droids remained active.

 

Yoda ran to the exhaust port, slicing through Synchro Droids as he went. When he reached it, he picked up a piece of scrap metal with the Force and used it to plug the exhaust port. The generator overloaded, exploding in a burst that destroyed half the base.

 

Several more gunships entered the wreckage, and opened fire on the remaining droids. EMP Launchers destroyed the Droidekas' shields, and the Chaingun-wielding troopers on board opened fire. In about 3 minutes, every single Synchro and Tuner on the ground was neutralized.

 

The situation in space was improving. The gunships went back into space and assisted the ailing fighters. Beam turrets were able to blast through several Synchro Fighters while the normal Republic Starfighter pilots were forming around the lead gunship, concentrating their fire at one fighter at a time. Eventually, all of the fighters were out of commision. The battle of Catifas was won.

 

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PikMan Newbie

PikMan

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Well, I got Chapter 1 up, and I'll be working on Chapter 2, and either Chapter 2 or 3 is going to have the Yu-Gi-Oh reference. And I know there aren't indentions, because I couldn't make those work. I just put an empty line after each paragraph so you wouldn't get confused. And I know that this will probably suck.

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SmallieBigs Newbie

SmallieBigs

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Since WR isn't here I'll give you a DN!

 

I've been trying to find a suitable planet idea for Star Wars' date=' but I finally found one. Just so you know, this is in the Clone Wars time frame before Ahsoka came along. All I came up with is an opening crawl for at the beginning. Give me your opinions, every peoples! Oh, and as for being related to Yu-Gi-Oh... there's an obvious reference later in the fanfic.

 

And I know that there aren't indentions on the actual chapter, but I don't know why I couldn't get them to work. Oh, well. And I'm also not the best writer, so don't be suprised if it sucks, like The Phantom Menace.

 

[spoiler=Opening Crawl']

STAR WARS

 

THE BATTLE OF CATIFAS

 

It is a time of conflict. After the battle of

Geonosis, the Jedi have become increasingly

stretched throughout the galaxy, in an

attempt at assisting the Grand Army of the

Republic. Okay like a SW Movie alright that sounds good?

 

During the Seperatist attack on Kamino, the

Republic uses the distraction to launch an

invasion on the planet Nar Shaddaa, where

the Trade Federation is housing critical Droid

Factories.

 

After their capital ship is crippled by the Droid

fleet in orbit, the two Jedi are forced to land

on the planet of Taris. There they discover,

hidden in the underground complex of the

Lower City, a Seperatist outpost....

Too lazy to do most of this.

 

[spoiler=Chapter I]

Anakin began slicing into the force field controls. Obi-Wan's plan had been simple: Once they were in, they would destroy the communications antenna to create a diversion. Once the guards were distracted, they would hide a Thermal Detonator inside the power generator, and hightail out of there before the Thermal Detonator exploded. As Obi-Wan fingered the detonator he was to use, Anakin had finished slicing and the shields disappeared. The Jedi moves soundlessly through the corridors, making their way through to the communications.

When did Jedi use equipment? Well nevermind. Okay so far so good.

Finding it was no problem, but it was shielded. To make matters worse, Anakin could hear Droidekas approaching the comms room. Anakin drew his lightsaber, but Obi-Wan said "I have a better idea."

Okay I'm not sure or not but shouldn't you create a new line for the speech?

That was right when the Droidekas entered. They activated their own shields, then fired a stream of blaster bolts towards Anakin and Obi-Wan. Both of the Jedi dropped to the floor, and the blasters passed through the shield, effectively crippling the comms antenna. As the confused Droidekas fired more blaster bolts, they were sent back by Anakin's lightsaber.

What were the blaster bolts and shield like lol? Who are the Jedi? So how did the lightsaber deflect them and what happened for the deflection?

Obi-Wan's plan had worked so far, but they still had to destroy the power core. The guards had rushed to the comms room, so the halls were perfectly clear. As they entered the power generator's room, Obi-Wan was dismayed to see that while the guards were gone, there were still defenses in the room.

It's so conveniant that the halls are perfectly clear isn't it?

Two auto turrets were mounted on either side of the generator. They opened fire as soon as they detected the 2 Jedi. The noise attracted the guards which had been distracted. Obi-Wan realized that his plan was on the verge of failure.

Hmm plot twist interesting...

The Droids' leader shouted, in its usual monotone voice, "Drop your weapons." Anakin and Obi-Wan did so. Obi-Wan then used the Force to chuck the Droids at the auto turrets, and a small explosion disabled the turrets.

Obi-Wan used the force to chuck the Droids into the auto-turrets, huh? When did the force have hands and how did they fly through the air?

 

Anakin looked at the wreckage of the base. A gunship had arrived in the hangar and was following the now destroyed capital ship's signal, which was still intact. But before Anakin could enter the gunship, something in the rubble caught his eye. It was a data holocron. Anakin picked it up, and he showed the holocron to Obi-Wan. "Whatever's in it, it must be shown to the Council." Obi-Wan replied "I hope that we can make use of it. If we can, we could tip the scale in our favor for the war."

So it was destroyed but still intact that just nulifies itself. New line when speaking, also.

 

The next day Anakin and Obi-Wan stood before the Council. Yoda spoke first. "Found something you have, hm?" Anakin held out the holocron and opened it. It showed a star map that was showing a route from Taris to another planet.

Okay I have nothing here.

The planet was called Catifas.

 

"That's odd, the planet isn't mentioned in the archives," Mace Windu commented. "We will send a squad of troopers there immediately." Obi-Wan stepped forward and said, "We will go with the troops to the planet." Mace Windu said, "Very well. The troops will arrive tomorrow.

Again new line when new person is speaking T_T, and use something different then said.

Anakin and Obi-Wan bowed in agreement.

Shortest paragraph EVAR!

 

Catifas was an unusual planet. When they first landed, Anakin wasn't sure if the planet was more like Geonosis or Sullust. It was a desert planet, sure, but there was volcanic activity in several spots. It was completely unsettled, except for a relatively large building in the distance.

Comma, word comma weird. A nice short description is alright.

Obi-Wan said, as he began leading the troopers, "I have a bad feeling about this."

That was anti-climatic.

 

 

That was the Daily News!

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SmallieBigs Newbie

SmallieBigs

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[spoiler=Daily News] Obi-Wan ordered the clones to go ahead on their own, so the droids would expect clones and not jedi. These were elite ARC Troopers. They could handle most droids. After they left, Obi-Wan went another route, and Anakin followed closely.

So far so good.

 

Inside the seperatist facility, General Grievous was supervising the creation of a new type of droid that could seal the war. These droids were special units called "Tuner Droids", which are designed to link up to normal droids and form more powerful "Synchro Droids" who had heightened abilities.

Really, really weird just for the reason of Yugiohness. Strange...

Just then, a Droid Commander came in holding a holoprojector, which displayed a map of the surrounding area. Anakin and Obi-Wan's landing craft was shown to be 18 kilometers away. "A Republic landing craft has been detected. It was carrying two Jedi Knights," the commander said. General Grievous, although his mask concealed his face, most likely was smiling. "Good. Fresh meat for the Synchro units."

Which Jedi's again? Mace Windu and Yoda? New paragraph/line when someone new is speaking even if a new line was created in the process of adding description.

 

Anakin knew that they would be detected sometime, but he didn't know when. Obi-Wan didn't know when either, but he still kept his guard up. Anakin was getting far ahead. Obi-Wan was busy climbing the cliff Anakin had just dashed up. "Slow down, Anakin!" he shouted, trying to find a handhold. Anakin heedlessly continued onward, paying no mind to a Battle Droid patrol on a nearby hill. One of them pulled out a comlink, and after activating it, said "We found them."

Weird they think the exact same thoughts. Again new line/paragraph when someone else is speaking like the above.

 

Obi-Wan had now gotten up the cliff. Anakin had finally gotten tired. Obi-Wan was just barely catching up, and said "You need to save your energy for when a battle droid hiding on a cliff shoots at you." Just then, the battle droids hiding on the cliff shot at Anakin. They missed, partly due to the stupidity of the droids themselves, but also the questionable accuracy of the blasters. Obi-Wan took off, and Anakin had to rest a second before he could catch up.

I've got nothing.

 

Grievous was not pleased to know that the droids blew their cover, but he had already sent out the Synchro Droids, so it didn't matter. Even though he knew the droids would likely be destroyed, it would buy him time to escape. He was as big a coward as he always was.

Ummmmm, maybe a grammatical error?

 

Obi-Wan arrived at the structure before Anakin did. "Don't rush ahead like you did on Geonosis, OK?" Anakin knew exactly what Obi-Wan was referring to. That was how he got his robotic right arm, but he doesn't think about it much. The troops had already got there. Their leader, who was recognizable by his red pauldron, ordered one of them to place a detonator on the entrance.

I don't like people that use OK or ok, I like peope that use the full word okay. It isn't got there it is gotten there.

 

"As soon as the door blows, you two will fire your chainguns into the passage." Two troopers carrying chainguns took positions near the door. Then the commander continued. "Once the dust clears, the Jedi will go in, and we will follow them. And just to make sure that there are no Droidekas, I'll throw in an EC gerenade to disable the shields." He reached for the grenade.

Which Jedi? Nothing else after he reached for the grenade, where was it also, in his pants?

 

The door blew open after the charge detonated. An electromagnetic charge blew inside the corridor, and 2 sets of blaster fire filled it in. Then the dust cleared, but there was no droid wreckage. The jedi advanced in cautiously. Then in walked a Droideka- No, not a Droideka. It looked like one, but there was a white device near the optical sensors, and there was a white set of 2 blaster cannons near the ones the droid already carried, and the bubble-like shield was red instead of blue.

Capitalize Jedi and which Jedi once again? Good job.

 

It was a Synchro Droideka. It was followed closely by 2 other synchro Droidekas, and 8 Normal Synchro Droids- They looked like white, reinforced Battledroids carrying miniature rocket launchers on their wrists, which also sported 2 blaster cannons.

Capitalize the other Synchro Droideka. Okay a hyphen instead of a period? Intresting...

 

The Droidekas opened fire. Anakin and Obi-Wan deflected the bolts with their lightsabers, but the Tuner Droids also adressed the design flaw exploited last chapter: The blasters were designed to only pass through the shield once, and disappear if it made contact again.

Add another d in addressed. I don't understand the bottom part, meh.

The normal Synchro Droids then shot Wrist Rockets at the Republic forces, but Obi-Wan deflected the missiles and redirected them at the ceiling over the droids, causing the helpless droids underneath to get squashed. The shields on the Droidekas, however, were also upgraded to withstand solid matter.

How did Obi-Wan deflect the missle? Again a meh.

 

The clone commander threw another EC Detonator at the Droidekas. When the charge detonated, the droidekas were not destroyed, like normal ones, but their shields were not designed to withstand ionization. With the shields down, the Droidekas were sitting targets.

Capitalize Droideka, okay sitting targets, why not use the phrase sitting ducks?

 

Anakin suddenly realized something. "These droids were never seen before. If they were created here, we can stop these upgraded droids at the source!" Obi-Wan could tell Anakin had an idea, but not a plan. Not yet, anyway. Okay good so far.

 

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PikMan Newbie

PikMan

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Thanks for the criticism, DN. First of all, I used "Targets" instead of "Ducks" because I don't think they have ducks in Star Wars. Next chapter I'll use "sitting Banthas". I fixed the deflecting-the-missile part so it points out Obi-Wan used the Force. Finally, I don't think Yoda and Windu will show up until Chapter 4 or so, but I'll keep your adice in mind.

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