RAEGING D0GKING Posted November 28, 2009 Report Share Posted November 28, 2009 [align=center] Yu-Gi-Oh HXS Hello this is a new Yu-Gi-Oh story about a boy called Hade and his friend BenHe will have to beat the Evil Spirits and save there world...He doesent know anything about Yu-Gi-Oh until he goes to the Yu-Gi-Oh dimension.In this story I will use real cards and cards that I makeOnce someone new arives to the Acdamy il ladd them to the listIll post up some Decks once the people make a DuelI will tell you one thing that Hade uses a Beast deck.There are also dorms in these episodes which are called HousesFlaming House (3rd Best Dorm)Splashing House (2nd Beast Dorm)Sparkling House (1st Best Dorm)Shining House(Teachers/Assistants Dorm) Main characters(Once people make some nice comments ill add the Appearances of the Characters) Flaming House Characters [spoiler=Hade] Appearance : None YetMaleFlaming HouseBeast Deck [spoiler=Ben]Appearance : None YetMale(Hade's Real life Best Friend)Flaming HouseUnknown Deck [spoiler=Zeek] Appearance : None YetMale (Smaller Brother of Tom)Flaming HouseUnknown Deck Splashing House Characters [spoiler=Liam]Appearance : None YetMaleSplashing House Unknown Deck [spoiler=Kiwi]Appearance : None YetFemale Splashing House Unkown Deck Sparkling House Characters [spoiler=Cat]Appearance : None YetFemaleSparkling HouseUnknown Deck [spoiler=Tom]AppearanceMale Sparkling HouseUnknown Deck [spoiler=Mia]Appearance : None YetFemaleSparkling HouseUknown Deck Shining House Characters [spoiler=Creen]Appearnce : None YetMale Shining House / TeacherUnkown Deck [spoiler=Catrine]Appearnce : None YetFemaleShining House / Medical Service No Deck [spoiler= [b] Chapter 1 [/b] ]Once upon a time, a boy called Hade lived in the Town Florida. He lived a Normal Life as all the other people. He went to Secondary School 1st Class. He had lots of friend and loved playing Soccer. One day he was running to School trough the Park. Beside a Tree, behind a Bush He saw a weird light. He went over and saw a Weird Box with a Golden Eye on top of it. Quikcly he looks at his Watch and sees that he is a few minutes late. He quickly puts the Box in he back pack and runs to school. At Break time he calls Ben over to a Corner. Ben asks “Whats up”? Hade answers “Hey look what I found in the Park”. “What could it be”? Ben asked. “Should we Open it” Hade asked. Ben nods Head. Hade opens up the box. Out of the box comes out a Purple and Black Hole. It stars sucking up all the stuff. Hade sais “Whats going on”? “ I don't know” Ben answers. A huge Light comes out of the Hole. And then Bang, Hade and Ben disappeared. Everyone quickly ran over to the Bushes. They see Nothing There. Everyone gets surprised but they don't know that Hade and Ben are missing. A few Hours later Hade and Ben wake up. They look up and see Darkness in the Clouds. It stars Raining. Hade and Ben bout run into a Cave. Ben sais “What Happened”? Hade sais “I have no Idea”. Ben sais “Ive learned how to light fires. Maybe I should light a fire and we will check out the cave”. Hade nods hade. While walking trough the cave Hade sees Cave drawings of Monsters. He sees a man who looks like a God with cards fighting a monster. They bout don't understand what it all means. Then Hade and Ben finally reached the end of the Cave. Suddenly they see 2 Things with slots where they can put in cards. They grab one of them each and try to figuer it out. It was actually 2 duel disks but they never heard of them. Hade looks in it and sees a Card inside. He takes it out. He reads the Name Fierce Warrior – PuerlsHade and Ben looks at the Card. Ben sais “Maybe you need to put it on the thing. Hade sais “Lets see”First he puts it in the Graveyard pile, Nothing Happens, Then he puts it in the Deck pile, Nothing happens. Then he puts it in the Spell & Trap card zone, Nothing Happens. Hade sais “Wait theres one more place to put the card”. Suddenly Hade places Puerls on the Monster Card Zone. Bang Puerls Comes out. Hade and Ben stair. Aaaaaaaaaa. Hade and Ben start to run as fast as possible. Puerls runs behind them. Ben suddenly Trips over a Rock. Hade looks back. He knows he needs to save his friend. He turns back and Helps him up but its too late. Puerls caught up with them. Hade and Ben where on the Ground. Hade sais “Please Don't Hurt us”. Then Surprisingly Purls starts to talk. “I'm here to Harm you”. “Our Dimension is in Danger”. Ben sais “What are we here for”? Puerls answers “We need you to save us from the Evil spirits. “But we don't have Super Powers” said Hade. “We don't use Super Powers here, we duel”. Ben sais “Whats that”? Puerls answers “You see these things on your hand, there called Duel Disks”. “With them you Summon Monsters and activate Spell and Trap Cards”. Ben sais “We have never heard of them could you tell us more about them. Peurls sais “I can't but I know who can”. Hade sais “Who is it”. Puerls answers “He's name is Shaman, Jump on my back and ill bring you to him”. Hade and Ben jumped on Puerls Back and they went off to Shaman. [/align] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alexis Rhodes Posted November 28, 2009 Report Share Posted November 28, 2009 a good opening to a story cant wait for chapter 2 :) a couple of grammer errors you need to look at though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RAEGING D0GKING Posted November 28, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 28, 2009 Ya I knownThanks for the Comment Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kendo Fish Posted November 28, 2009 Report Share Posted November 28, 2009 I could hardly read it because of the hilarious capitalization. The Boy went to School and played Soccer after Lunch. I assume that's due in part to you living in Ireland, but still, haven't you compared your capitalization to other writing? Also, SPELL-CHECK. So I'll probably check it out later after you have only proper nouns and words at the start of a sentence capitalized. No, don't capitalize things like teacher either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RAEGING D0GKING Posted November 28, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 28, 2009 Spell Checked and everything nearly goodalso Capitalazations doesnt make a diffrence Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bury the year Posted November 28, 2009 Report Share Posted November 28, 2009 Spell Checked and everything nearly goodalso Capitalazations doesnt make a diffrence i loli'd If you think that capitalization, one of the cornerstones of grammar, doesn't make a difference, then kindly get out and take your story with you. Nobody's going to take your story seriously if you don't fix your grammar. It's like a painting. If nobody can tell what you made, they aren't going to care about the scene. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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