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Blonde jokes


Nero™

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Two blondes decided that this Christmas they wanted to cut down their own Christmas tree. So they drove two hours into the country and walked deep into the woods to find the perfect Christmas tree. They had planned the trip well, especially considering that they were blond. They were dressed warmly with boots, warm coats and hats. They had a chain saw, hatchet, a bag to protect the tree and rope to drag it back to their car. Every detail was covered.

 

They searched and searched. They had gone to all this trouble, nothing but the prefect tree would do. They searched for hours through knee deep snow and biting wind. Finally, five hours later with the sun beginning to go down, one blonde says to the other, "I can't take this anymore. I give up! There are hundreds of beautiful trees out here. Let's just pick one whether it's decorated or not!"

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Two blondes decided that this Christmas they wanted to cut down their own Christmas tree. So they drove two hours into the country and walked deep into the woods to find the perfect Christmas tree. They had planned the trip well' date=' especially considering that they were blond. They were dressed warmly with boots, warm coats and hats. They had a chain saw, hatchet, a bag to protect the tree and rope to drag it back to their car. Every detail was covered.

 

They searched and searched. They had gone to all this trouble, nothing but the prefect tree would do. They searched for hours through knee deep snow and biting wind. Finally, five hours later with the sun beginning to go down, one blonde says to the other, "I can't take this anymore. I give up! There are hundreds of beautiful trees out here. Let's just pick one whether it's decorated or not!"

[/quote']

 

lolz:D

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Two blondes decided that this Christmas they wanted to cut down their own Christmas tree. So they drove two hours into the country and walked deep into the woods to find the perfect Christmas tree. They had planned the trip well' date=' especially considering that they were blond. They were dressed warmly with boots, warm coats and hats. They had a chain saw, hatchet, a bag to protect the tree and rope to drag it back to their car. Every detail was covered.

 

They searched and searched. They had gone to all this trouble, nothing but the prefect tree would do. They searched for hours through knee deep snow and biting wind. Finally, five hours later with the sun beginning to go down, one blonde says to the other, "I can't take this anymore. I give up! There are hundreds of beautiful trees out here. Let's just pick one whether it's decorated or not!"

[/quote']

 

This one made me laugh hard, also. This one I remembered someone telling me a while back.

 

A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum deodorant.

 

The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that, they don't sell rectum deodorant and never have.

 

Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis and would like some more.

 

'I'm sorry,' says the pharmacist, 'We don't have any.'

 

'But, I always buy it here,' says the blonde .

'Do you have the container that it came in?' asks the pharmacist.

'Yes,' said the blonde , 'I'll go home and get it.'

 

She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks at it and says to her,

 

'This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant.'

 

Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container

back and reads out loud from the container ...

 

'TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM.'

 

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lolz

A blonde walks in to a Florida shoe shop then she asks....

Blonde:can I please have your finest crocodile shoes.

Shop Assistant: Im so sorry Madam but were out of stock.

Blonde:Ok fine I'll just find my own. As she walks out the Shoe Shop

 

Two hours later

 

The shop Assistant was driving home then he see's the blonde up to hips in water with Shotgun in hand

 

Then a 9-foot crocodile was approaching her,she shoots it

with amazing strength she turns it over just like she did to 7 other crocs then she says

 

Blonde:Great another one without shoes.

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lolz

A blonde walks in to a Florida shoe shop then she asks....

Blonde:can I please have your finest crocodile shoes.

Shop Assistant: Im so sorry Madam but were out of stock.

Blonde:Ok fine I'll just find my own. As she walks out the Shoe Shop

 

Two hours later

 

The shop Assistant was driving home then he see's the blonde up to hips in water with Shotgun in hand

 

Then a 9-foot crocodile was approaching her' date='she shoots it

with amazing strength she turns it over just like she did to 7 other crocs then she says

 

Blonde:Great another one without shoes.

[/quote']

 

:shock::shock::shock::shock::shock::shock::shock::shock::shock:

 

I guess crocs aren't over-populated anymore. And to be honest, very few places in Florida actually sell Crocodile shoes.

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A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person. Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general, and all in the name of humor!" The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little sheet on your knee."

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A blonde police woman pulls over a Burnette in her sportscar

Blonde :Excuse me you went over the speed limit

Burnette: Ok but don't you need my licence?

Blonde 1:Yes I do

the Burnette then pulls out a mirror

and the blonde says: Oh you are a Police woman your free to go.

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