Otakon Posted November 22, 2009 Report Share Posted November 22, 2009 Okay, sorry about the Script format about before.I hope this one is better: Luca kidnapped?! The sinister shadow appears! PART 1 Ghost...A mysterious D-wheeler who appeared on the streets of Neo-Domino, has been the cause of many accidents that happened on Highway. The Neo-Domino Security has been doing everything in their power to stop him, but without results... One evening, late at night, after a hard and long day, Ushio was on his way home after work. Worrying about Ghost and the damage he's caused, Ushio couldn't even predict that another evil shadow was lurking among the streets of Neo-Domino. "Man, what a pain..." Mumbled Ushio while Walking down the street while being unaware of a sinister presence watching him. Suddenly, breaking the silence of the night, a childish and creepy catches Ushio's attention. While looking around he notices a shadow behind the corner of a building. The shadow glared at him and then disappeared into to dark alley leaving Ushio with a grin on it's face. While wondering about who that was, a thought came across his mind. "Could that be Ghost?!" Ushio quickly rushes towards the alley in hopes catching the mystery man.While running down the dark alley, looking for the culprit, once again the creepy laughter is heard. Once Ushio found out the direction of the laughter, he ran towards it.After finding a way out the maze-like alley, Ushio finds himself at an empty lot of an old factory. With no one there, Ushio thought he had lost what appears to be Ghost. Annoyed that he got away, he decides to give up the chase.As he was heading back, the light inside the old factory lit up and once again the creepy laughter could be heard. "Damn him! Is he mocking me?" Furious, Ushio enters the building.Inside, Ushio finds several old and damaged toys scattered around the warehouse.While he was looking around, the lights suddenly go off. Feeling a bit creeped out he decides to search for a switch. After tripping over a few dolls, he finnaly find the switch and turns on the lights. Suddenly a huge shadow appears behind Ushio. Feeling a chill down his spine, Ushio turns around... "A,aaaaaaaH!" To be continued. I only added the "intro" since this will take some time to convert but I will continue to update it as I progress. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SebastiaanZ Posted November 23, 2009 Report Share Posted November 23, 2009 Try something else then script format, PLEASE!I just scrolled through this ´fic´. I did not even read much of it.Please change to a different format, this sucks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Otakon Posted November 23, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 23, 2009 Give me an example how it should look like and I'll try to change it.However, I will stay by the script version because (if you read at list a little bit you'll see that) I suck at details.You should use your imagination as you read these things. EDIT: Whoops! Sorry, didn't see the part where scripts aren't allowed. (Though I'm pretty sure I read the rules...).Anyway, my bad, I'll fix it a bit later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SebastiaanZ Posted November 23, 2009 Report Share Posted November 23, 2009 I am sure you´ll be able to improve on details once you try to. I mean I am not even a native speaker and I use, or at least try to use a detailed surrounding of what happens during a duel or story.Don´t feel disencouraged, but keep writing. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Des ＨＥＲＯ Posted November 23, 2009 Report Share Posted November 23, 2009 Ok heres mathematics good+bad+bad=comfusment.Im sorry to say that but I had an hard time when first making an fan fic and yet no one then broke the rules by script format that I saw if one more new fan fics break the rule then my fan fic must be look good compared to them oh sorry im typing problems of dissaster nvm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Otakon Posted November 23, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 23, 2009 Ok heres mathematics good+bad+bad=comfusment.Im sorry to say that but I had an hard time when first making an fan fic and yet no one then broke the rules by script format that I saw if one more new fan fics break the rule then my fan fic must be look good compared to them oh sorry im typing problems of dissaster nvm. You lost me... Anyway, I corrected a small part of the text.It's not much but I just wanted to see if I was going towards the right direction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Des ＨＥＲＯ Posted November 24, 2009 Report Share Posted November 24, 2009 Nvm I just hate scipt formats that I go on and on about my hard time and yet those rule breakers have an less hard time and well nvm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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