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Naruto Abridged - The Abridged War (Advanced/Accepting/Started/PG-16)


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"Lord 3 puddle kage, I've pwned the Hokage!"

"No you haven't! That was some nerd playing a game ranked Hokage!"

"Oh... so that's why he said that he was playing a game..... DAMNIT! Can't I go 2 days without killing an innocent person?"

"At the rate of things, not a chance. You can't even go 5 hrs without having sex!!!"

"It's fun...... so, what's my next mission?"

"To get the F*** OUT OF HERE!"

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Lalala.... My generation is 0... I never-

"ZAMISHI!"

"Wha? What?" Some guy was looking at him.

"That Green Day sheet is sheet! Don't go around singing it!"

"What the hell? It was in my head! How could you have heard it?"

"Uh.... no reason! I'm not a spy sent from Konoha to see what the 3 puddle kage is up to and now how to read minds!!!! *twitch*"

"Whatever.... hey! Do you know where the nearest-"

"Strip bar's around the corner."

"Thanks man, you know... I could cut you with my sword..."

"Go away."

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Guest Uchiha Itachi

"Wait im a ninja?" remo asks

"Yes you've been a ninja for the past 16 years and stop kicking the ground." the akatsuki leader says

"Cookie, what cookie?" remo replies

" No, not cookie the ground!!!"

"But what cookie?"

~sigh~

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"Come back any time Zamishi!"

"I..... Am..... GOOD! They love me at that-" *gets slapped*

"Who the hell? ...... It's you.... the old guy..."

"DAMN RIGHT!" *notha slap* Zamishi runs like hell.

"God! This worse than the shows Nick comes up with nowadays! I mean seriously! Fan boy and Chum-chum???? Well, I'd rather watch that than get chased by an old man with a cane!!!"

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Guest Uchiha Itachi

"What cookie?"

" Remo, shut u-" LOGG'D, itachi gets a major logging when he is scolding remo being and idoit

"Ha, the irony is to much" remo says in itachi's face

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*Enters Squiggly Lines village*

"Now, how can I cause trouble here."

*Looks around, trying to find something fun to do*

"Hey, I could try doing that."

*Runs to the Squiggly Lines kage, and throws 2 Kunai, just barely missing their head, with a forged note claiming it was written by someone from the dog s*** village and gets the heck out of the village*

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"Whew.... I think I finally shook that-"

"TIME TO END YOU!!!!!" Zamishi turns around and pulls out a duel disk, so does the old man.

"I go first. I summon: Zamishi- The Sex Craver in attack mode!"

"I summon: Old Cane Man in attack mode and place 2 cards face down!"

"I activate: Sword of Perverts to increase Zamishi's attack by 7000!!!!!"

"What the hell? That's OPed!"

"So? Zamishi! Attack OLD CANE MAN!"

"I activate: Cane of Ancients to make Old Cane Man invincable this turn."

"I don't think so! I activate PERVERT BLAST! I win!"

"NOOOO!" The old man fell to the ground.

"It's over....."

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Yuki appeared behind Yamada.

"well, it looks like logs are your weakness..."

"What? How did you know?"

"Because you cursed out loud when you saw it."

"Damn it..."

Yuki summons a log. Yamada curses and runs away to the pile of dog crap village, Yuki followed him.

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Azura walked out of his front door "i feel like an ass today" he said to himslef as he walked up to an old lady "may i help you with your bags miss" Azura said putting on a fake smile "why certainly, what a polite young man" Said the old lady "heheheh tahts what she thinks" Azura thinking deviously in his mind. As he approached her house he took out a loaf of bread and beat her with it for no apparent reason, then the old ladies body dissapeared into thin air "wtf?!" Azura thinkin in his mind. Oh no it was a clone, the real old lady took a loaf of sesame bread and stuck it up his ass, then beat him with a milk carton "TAKE THAT YOU DEMON CHILD!!!"

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"God! These cards are worse than peoples attempts to get Ino and Shikamaru together!" Zamishi was picking his way through the old man's cards. He looked up and saw a Leaf Nin.

"What do you want? My 5 hr limit is approaching!" He was kicked back a few feet and drew his sword.

"You killed and.... had sex with our people, you will die!"

"Swords cut stuff you know.... It'll just bring you pain."

"Well my damn fists break stuff!!!" The fight began.

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"Hey, wait up, stop running! Why are you going to the pile of dog crap village?" Yuki asked

"To get away from logs!" Yamada answered.

They finally got to the borded. yamada stepped inside.

"Haha. You stepped on dog crap."

"No i didn't." Yamada said as he took another step into the border.

"Haha. You stepped on dog crap again."

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"SWORD STYLE-"

"There's no such thing as 'sword style'!!!"

"Uh..... fine! Fire Style: Sword Style Summoning: Sword Jutsu: Sword Style: Lash Blade!" Zamishi brought his blade down on the shinobi's head.

"AHHH! Swords are gay!"

"F*** YOU!" Zamishi stabbed him in the heart and ended it.

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"OH MAN! I look redder than that chick when I...... I'd best not say it in public..." Zamishi walked off towards the nearest resturaunt. When he was there he sat down and picked up a menu.

"Riiiiiceee..... Baaaaaalelelelll.... WAITER!"

"What is it sir?"

"I can't read this menu. It's in japenese!"

"What are you talking about? It says Rice Ball, Steak, and other Amaerican dishes!"

"St... Stea.... steackck.... I can't read this."

*facepalm*

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Yamada just gives up and decided to head into the pile of dog crap.

"And now you're on dog crap, but this time, you don't seem to be getting angry..."

Yamada looks back, sharingan in his eyes.

"Oh no! It's the contact lens of doom!" Yuki says, running away.

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"Okay.... I'll have your..... oh god! This food is so exotic!!!! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY IT???"

"That says rice cake platter........ idiot."

"Right! 1 Rice Cake Platter with.... with.... di... dippung.... dippeng sooce?"

"DIPPING SAUCE YOU IDIOTIC SON OF A B****!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Okay! Forget your tip! Just bring my my food and.... juuuuueeeecy?"

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