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The Official Chuck Norris Joke thread


Yugiohrulez!

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Chuck Norris got laid before his dad did.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down and they give him the information he wants.

Chuck Norris has no chin under his beard. There is only another fist.

All the animals alive today are the ones Chuck Norris let live.

 

I hate myself now for attempting to join in with this...

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Chuck Norris doesn't play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.

Every 100 years, Chuck Norris chooses one lucky kid to get thrown into the sun.

An atomic bomb didn't hit Hiroshima. It was Chuck Norris jumping from a plane and kicking the ground.

When Chuck Norris talks, everyone listens. And dies.

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Speach:Chuck Norris wipes his a** with a cheese gratter...

 

Jokes:-

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

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Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris sleeps with the light on. No, Chuck Norris isn't scared of the dark, the dark is scared of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris developed a way of communicating using kicks and punches. So when he kicks you in the chest, he may be telling you he likes your hat.

First, there was nothing, then Chuck Norris told God to get his a** up and get a job.

Chuck Norris died two years ago, just Death is too scared to tell him.

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