Des ＨＥＲＯ Posted November 20, 2009 Report Share Posted November 20, 2009 Lol white blackwings its like blackwings in white lol white armor master. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackthunder Posted November 21, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 21, 2009 Lol white blackwings its like blackwings in white lol white armor master. No they aren't similar in the appearance. They got the same effects(with a few exceptions), same attack points and same defense points. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackthunder Posted November 21, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 21, 2009 Episode 8 The mill deck vs Psychic deck Tom: I think we're safe here in the forest.Robert: Yeah, there aren't people who chase us. There are only wild hungry animals.Chris: I'm surrounded by idiots: My brother is a nerd and Robert is a coward.Laurie: How about me?Chris: I don't know. I'll find something later.Robert: If I'm a coward that means you're courageous. Why don't you go to kill a wild boar and bring some food.Tom: I don't think we'll need to kill anything to bring food.Laurie&Chris&Robert: WHAT?!Tom: I got in my bag 4 bottles of water, a bottle of cola, 12 sandwiches, and 4 bars of chocolate.Chris: Where did you got those things?!?!?!Tom: I stole them in the cafeteria of the stadium. None was there to see.???: Can I join?Laurie: Who's there?!???: No need to be scared little girl!Tom: Who're you? Tell us before I get angry!???: I'm Sirius' slave.Robert: Finally I get to duel. You will die afterward. ???: Lets duel!Robert: Lets duel! ???(8000): Draw! I activate Cup of Ace! I toss a coin. If its heads I draw two cards and if its tails you get to draw.He tossed a coin. The result was tails(Robert’s deck: 33 cards)???: I set 1 monster and I end my turn.Robert: My move! I summon Telekinetic Shocker(1700) in attack mode! Shocker attack!???: It was Needle Worm. Now you have to send the top 5 cards form your deck to the graveyard.(Robert’s deck: 28 cards)Robert: I set 1 card. I end my turn.???(8000): Draw. I set a card and 1 monster. I end.Robert: Draw! I summon Psychic Commander(1400)(3). Now my Shocker attacks.???: It was Morphing Jar. Now we get to discard our hands and draw 5 cards.(Robert’s deck: 23 cards)Robert: I still got my commander. Attack! Main Phase 2. I tune my monsters to synchro summon (3+4=7) Psychic Lifetrancer(2400). I activate itc effect: I remove telekinetic shocker in my grave from play so I gain 1200 Lp. I set 1 card and I end my turn!???(6600): My move. I activate my face down: Gift of Greed. So you draw 2 cards.(Robert’s deck: 20 cards)Now I set 1 monster and two cards. I end.Robert(9200): You’re only defending. You’re pathetic. Draw! I summon Krebons(1200) in attack mode. Then I activate Lifetrancer’s effect. I remove Psychic Commander from play to gain another 1200 Lp. Now I tune Krebons with Lifetrancer to Synchro Summon Hyper Psychic Blaster. Blaster attack! Your monster may be in Defense mode, but Blaster inflicts Piercing damage and that’s not all I also gain the Lp you lost.???: It was Destiny Hero Defender(2700).Robert(10700): I end.???(6300): My move! I activate Fissure to destroy your monster. Then I summon in attack mode Chainsaw Insect(2400). Chainsaw attack! I end my turn.Robert(8300): Draw! sheet I set 1 monster and I end my turn!???: My move! I also set a monster and my Chainsaw attacks. Since it attacked a monster you draw a card at the damage step. I end.(Robert’s deck: 17 cards) Robert(8300): It was Psychic Snail. Draw! Now I set a card and a monster. I end.???(6300): Draw! I flip summon my Needle Worm so you discard the top five cards of your deck. Now Chainsaw Insect attack and Needle Worm attack! You draw 1 more card. I end.(Robert’s deck: 11 cards)Robert(7550): My monster was Mind Protector. My move! Draw! I activate Teleport.I pay 800 Lp to Special Summon Storm Caller(2300). Then I activate Heavy Storm to destroy all the Magic and Traps on the field. I Normal Summon then Psychic Snail. Last I activate my trump card Fissure to destroy your monster. Now my monsters attack! I end my turn by setting a card.???(2200): Draw!Robert: I activate Drop Off! You discard the card that you just drew! You got no mre cards in your hand! You end the turn I think. My move! Monsters attack! I win.The slave was killed and Laurie, Chris, Tom and Robert went in a safer zone of the forest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RyanAtlus Posted November 21, 2009 Report Share Posted November 21, 2009 Okay, a few things to point out: Script format is bad whatsoever. Show, don't tell.Grammar should be decent and understandable wherever you're from. I'm friggin Belgian, so I've got myself a betareader.Last thing; your duels are decent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Des ＨＥＲＯ Posted November 22, 2009 Report Share Posted November 22, 2009 Ok then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackthunder Posted November 23, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 23, 2009 Now since I added episode 8 the time has come. The time to become lazy of course! That's what people usually do after they add the 8th or 9th episode.(gniddik fo esouc) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SebastiaanZ Posted November 23, 2009 Report Share Posted November 23, 2009 I always stay positive, so I'll be positive with this fanfic as well. However the excitement of reading a new fanfic disappeared pretty quickly when I read the first few 'turns'. They are much to short. There are fora where there actually is a recquired length of one chapter/turn/episode. The rest would just be considered SPAM.The length is one thing, then the lack of detail. There is really no description at all. How are we supposed to know how cards look like ("obvious, look to wikia" or something is no excuse) definitely when they are CACs?blackthunder, please work on it. Please, otherwise you'll find it pretty hard to continue it, if reviews are negative. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackthunder Posted November 23, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 23, 2009 I always stay positive' date=' so I'll be positive with this fanfic as well. However the excitement of reading a new fanfic disappeared pretty quickly when I read the first few 'turns'. They are much to short. There are fora where there actually is a recquired length of one chapter/turn/episode. The rest would just be considered SPAM.The length is one thing, then the lack of detail. There is really no description at all. How are we supposed to know how cards look like ("obvious, look to wikia" or something is no excuse) definitely when they are CACs?blackthunder, please work on it. Please, otherwise you'll find it pretty hard to continue it, if reviews are negative.[/quote']Ha ah aha ha ha ha ha!! I couldn't stop laughing when I read your comment.After I wrote that i would get lazy, I also wrote this (gniddik fo esouc) that is "kidding of course" in reverse. Also you're right about the lack of the description. Anyway no offense, but sometimes the descriptions are annoying(not yours, all the descriptions in fan fics) so i found a solution. When a character summons a monster or activates a spell/trap I'll add the picture of the card.also I'll add episode 9 later(It's a promise) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackthunder Posted November 24, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 24, 2009 I'm sorry, episode 9 will be ready tomorrow because Jack Atlas will duel in this episode and I should find information about his deck(his full deck, not the deck list posted in yugioh wikia) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Des ＨＥＲＯ Posted November 24, 2009 Report Share Posted November 24, 2009 Oh ok lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackthunder Posted November 26, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 26, 2009 Episode 9 Tom vs. … Jack?! That morning something strange happened.Chris: Morning everyone!Robert: Aren’t you noticing something strange?Chris: Yeah, where’s my brother?!In the meantime Tom was nearby in the middle of the duel. His opponent was wearing a mask.Tom: Who are you? You’re kinda familiar.???: *laugh* Don’t you recognize me?!He took off his mask and showed his face. It was someone with blonde hair and violet eyes. It was… Tom: JACK ATLAS!!!!Meanwhile... Laurie: I heard someone yelling.Robert: Me too. The voice came from this way.They didn’t walk very much and they saw Tom dueling Jack.Chris: No way! He is dueling Jack Atlas, the former king! Tom: Let’s duel!Jack: Let’s duel! Tom(8000): I’ll go first. Draw! I set 1 monster and 1 card! I end my turn.Jack(8000): Draw! Since you have monsters in your side of the field while I don’t this card can be Normal Summoned without tributes. I summon Big Piece Golem.Jack: Now Big Piece Golem attack!Tom: My monster is Des Koala!http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Des_KoalaNow due to his effect you lose 400 Lp for each card in your hand! So you lose 2000 Lp!Jack (6000): I set 2 card and end my turn.Tom(8000): My move. I set another card and 1 monster. I end.Jack(6000): Pathetic! I draw! I summon Dark Resonator!Jack(6000): I tune Big Piece Golem with my Dark Resonator to Synchro Summon Red Dragon Archfiend!Jack: Then I activate Pot of Greed to draw two cards.Next I activate Heavy storm.And then I activate Nobleman of Crossout to remove from play your monster. http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Nobleman_of_CrossoutNow Red Dragon Archfiend Attack! Scorching Crimson Flare! I end my turn. Tom: Draw!“What should I do? My hand is very bad! Nothing can help me now!” To be continued… Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Des ＨＥＲＯ Posted November 26, 2009 Report Share Posted November 26, 2009 Once thing how did Jack gain 2000 life points or was that an error oh well ok and theres no way of Tom wining ill say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackthunder Posted November 26, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 26, 2009 Once thing how did Jack gain 2000 life points or was that an error oh well ok and theres no way of Tom wining ill say.My bad sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackthunder Posted November 27, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 27, 2009 I'll add episode 10 tomorrow, I've been a bit busy today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Des ＨＥＲＯ Posted November 27, 2009 Report Share Posted November 27, 2009 Oh ok it's an easy mistake also have you heard of a card imperial iron wall. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackthunder Posted November 27, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 27, 2009 Oh ok it's an easy mistake also have you heard of a card imperial iron wall. Yeah of course. Effect: Cards cannot be removed from play. You'll see that card in this fan fic soon enough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Des ＨＥＲＯ Posted November 27, 2009 Report Share Posted November 27, 2009 Well you see what im meaning maybe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackthunder Posted November 29, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 29, 2009 Episode 10 The interrupted duel Field overview: Jack has Red Dragon Archfiend (3000) in attack mode. Tom has no cards on the field. Tom(8000): Draw! “What should I do?! My hand is very bad! Nothing can help me now!”I’ll just set 1 monster facedown. I end.Jack(6000): Again with the pathetic moves. You’ll be beaten in less than 5 minutes. I summon in attack mode Axe Dragonet.Axe Dragonet attack his monster.The monster was Mine Golem.Tom: My monster’s effect activates so you lose 500 Lp.Jack: That did nothing to me. I attack with Red Dragon Archfiend. Scorching Crimson Flare! To bad that my Axe Dragonet is switched in defense position! I end my turn.Tom(5000): My turn! I activate Lava Golem’s effect. Your monsters are tributed and Lava Golem is summoned on your side of the field. That’s not all, you also lose 1000 Lp every Standby phase! In addition I can’t summon any monsters this turn. I set 1 card and I’ll end my turn.Jack(4500): Draw! I summon Twin Sword Marauder in attack mode!Then I’ll attack with both my monsters!Tom: *laugh* I activate Magic Cylinder. Now Golem’s attack is negated and you take damage equal to his Attack points. So I take damage only due to Marauder’s attack.Jack: I end my turn! No matter how many tricks you play I’ll still win slave!Tom: Slave?! What do you mean by slave?!Jack: Don’t joke around! I know that all of you here are slaves of that jabroni that calls himself a King!Tom: None of us is a slave! I thought you were a slave.Jack: Prove it!Tom: With pleasure! F*** YOU SIRIUS! See?Jack: Ok I believe you. Now the problem is: how can we stop the duel? If one of us surrenders, he will be killed. ???: No problem!Jack: Hey Crow! You just said that you found a solution?Crow: Yeah! Yusei just invented a device that can de-activate this kind of duel disk whenever you want. It’s in my pocket. Chris: Where is he now?Crow: Yusei… was killed!Jack: In a duel?!Crow: *crying* No he was killed directly by Sirius. He had a gun and killed him.Tom: No problem! There is a way to turn things back to normal. We have to rip every member of the D.D. archetype once. Even the people who died will come back!Jack: Really? This means that we got to reach Sirius. Does anyone know where is he?!Crow: I have no idea! Jack: Hey Crow can you stop the duel now?Crow: Yeah of course.He reached his pocket and took out something that looked like a DualShock. He pressed a button and the holograms disappeared. The duel was stopped.Jack: Now let’s go to our hideout in the Satellite. It’s the safest place in the world in these days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Des ＨＥＲＯ Posted November 30, 2009 Report Share Posted November 30, 2009 Ok it's funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackthunder Posted December 1, 2009 Author Report Share Posted December 1, 2009 episode 11 will be added tomorrow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackthunder Posted December 2, 2009 Author Report Share Posted December 2, 2009 Episode 11 Fairy deck vs. Change of Shape deck -Hideout in the Satellite- Crow: Finally we’re here! This was my hideout when the Satellite was separated from Neo Domino City. We’re safe here because since the jabroni became king none lives in the Satellite anymore.Robert: Well what should we do? There are people chasing us and we have to rip some cards, but we don’t know where they are.Jack: I got an idea. Why we don’t go in the city, duel someone and when he is about to lose we ask him “where is Sirius” and then defeat him.Tom: If we go out of here we can be dueled by our friends, our parents etc. and we want to avoid this. Chris: Yeah, Crow your idea to come here by car was very bad because someone could be following us.Laurie: I’ll check outside to make sure no one has followed us.Laurie went out and she became late.Chris: Man, how long should we wait for her? It’s been 25 minutes since she went outside.Jack: It will be better if we go search for her.Laurie: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!Robert: I heard Laurie screaming!Tom: Let’s go!They searched for Laurie everywhere and they found her in the other side of the Satellite in the middle of the duel.Chris: Finally I found her! She’s dueling. Laurie: Let’s duel!???: Let’s duel! ???(8000): I’ll go first. I summon Goblin Elite Attacking Force (2200) in attack position. I set 1 card and end my turn.Laurie: Draw! I set 1 monster and 1 card. I end my turn.???(8000): My move! I activate my facedown trap: Labyrinth of Nightmare. (Effect: During the End Phase of each turn, change the Battle Positions of all face-up monsters on the turn player's side of the field.)Laurie: What?! A “change of shape” deck?! I’ve never won against a deck like this! To be continued… Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Des ＨＥＲＯ Posted December 3, 2009 Report Share Posted December 3, 2009 What you call change of shape I call switch of position.Change of shape seems like comedy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackthunder Posted December 3, 2009 Author Report Share Posted December 3, 2009 What you call change of shape I call switch of position.Change of shape seems like comedy.Okay I know its a lame name. Anyway the name doesn't matter because its one of the most powerful decks I've ever built. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Des ＨＥＲＯ Posted December 3, 2009 Report Share Posted December 3, 2009 No I didn't mean lame it's funny and your pretty much right about it's power those attack force goblins also that countius trap that makes monsters in atk postion is amazing infact goblin attack force wouldn't switch in def mode :):):):):) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackthunder Posted December 3, 2009 Author Report Share Posted December 3, 2009 Episode 12 Field overview: ??? has Goblin Elite Attacking Force in attack position(2200) and Labyrinth of Nightmare(Effect: During the End Phase of each turn, change the Battle Positions of all face-up monsters on the turn player's side of the field.) activated.Laurie has 1 monster set and 1 face down.???(8000): I summon Spear Dragon(1900)(Effect: During battle between this attacking card and a Defense Position monster whose DEF is lower than the ATK of this card, inflict the difference as Battle Damage to your opponent's Life Points. If this card attacks, it is changed to Defense Position at the end of the Damage Step). I attack your facedown monster with Spear Dragon.Laurie: The facedown is Gellenduo(0)(Effect: This card cannot be destroyed by battle. When this card's controller takes any damage, destroy this card. If you Tribute Summon a LIGHT Fairy-Type monster, you can treat this 1 monster as 2 Tribute Monsters for the Tribute Summon). It can’t be destroyed by battle.???: Yeah, but you take piercing damage. Also due to Labyrinth of Nightmare’s effect my monsters are changed in Attack Position. I end my turn.Laurie(6100): Draw! Since Gellenduo is treated as 2 tributes for a Fairy-type monster I can tribute it to summon Splendid Venus(2800)(Effect: All non-Fairy-Type monsters lose 500 ATK and DEF. The activation and effects of your Spell and Trap Cards cannot be negated). I attack Spear Dragon. I set 1 card and I end my turn.???(6600): Your monster is changed to defense position due to my card’s effect. My move ! I activate Fissure.Laurie: Chain! I activate Dark Bribe(Effect: Negate the activation of an opponent's Spell or Trap Card and destroy it. Your opponent draws 1 card).???: Okay. I set 1 monster and I end my turn. Due to my card’s effect Goblin Elite Attacking Force is changed to defense position.Laurie(6100): My turn. I summon Meltiel, Sage of The Sky(1600)(Effect: Each time a Counter Trap Card is activated, gain 1000 Life Points, and if "The Sanctuary in the Sky" is on the field, destroy 1 card your opponent controls.) Then I activate The Sanctuary in the Sky (Battle Damage to the controller of a Fairy-Type monster from a battle involving that Fairy-Type monster becomes 0). I Equip Splendid Venus with Fairy Meteor Crush(Effect: When a monster equipped with this card attacks with an ATK that is higher than the DEF of a Defense Position monster, inflict the difference as Battle Damage to your opponent's Life Points). I attack your facedown monster with Venus.???: It is Indomitable Fighter Lei-Lei(0).Laurie: I attack also Goblin Elite Attacking Force with Metiel. I end my turn.???(3800): I activate Smashing Ground(Effect: Destroy the 1 face-up monster your opponent controls that has the highest DEF) to destroy Splendid Venus. Also I summon in attack mode Giant Orc (2200)(Effect: If this card attacks, it is changed to Defense Position at the end of the Battle Phase. You cannot change this battle position until the end of your next turn). Orc attack.Laurie: I activate Mirror Force(Effect: Activate only when an opponent's monster declares an attack. Destroy all Attack Position monsters your opponent controls). Giant Orc is destroyed.???: I end my turn.Laurie: I activate Monster Reborn (Effect: Special Summon 1 monster from either player's Graveyard to your side of the field). I special Summon Splendid Venus and I attack with both my monsters. I win. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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