~Riku~ Posted October 31, 2009 Report Share Posted October 31, 2009 This is my fan fic, Yu-Gi-Oh EV. I'll put up new chapters whenever I can, so bear with me. I'm really new to this, so help is appreciated.Thanks to legendhiro for his continued (hopefully) support. The Story:Every year, Ruon Card Enterprises Inc. hosts the Evolution Tournament, where one hundred young Duelists compete in one-on-one duels for the chance at $1,000,000, a chance to duel Ruon himself, the head of RCEI, and a Yu-Gi-Oh game card designed and created by Ruon. And even though they don't know it yet, four young friends will be the center of attention at the Tournament... The Cast:Jonathan Reiji-The story's main hero, John will do anything for his friends and is the local Dueling champ.Mai Kurosode-An older, well-endowed girl who can always be counted on for her keen mind and fast card combos while Dueling. She only goes out with boys who can beat her in a Duel. She has never had a date.Taka Kurosode-Mai's younger brother, Taka emphasizes the phrase "small is powerful". He is somewhat nerdy, but also kind and caring.Kurenai Kurosode-Mai and Taka's mother, she is always wise and good-hearted. Unbeknownst to her children, Kurenai is an extremely talented Duelist.Roland Surena-A skilled Duelist and a powerful boy. Is a bit of a bully to everyone except John, Mai, Taka and their families. So, can usually intimidate his opponents out of his way before having to Duel them. CHAPTER ONEMy name is John Reiji. I'm a Duelist, and I win every time in Duels at Old Man Everest's Game Card Store. Not that I'm gloating, of course. Maybe all the other Duelists are idiots, I don't know. My story in the Evolution Tournament begins on a Wednesday. An ordinary Wednesday, or so I thought...I was sitting at the Duel Table at Old Man Everest's, Dueling another boy for a game card pack. It was almost over, judging from my hand. The boy was pretty mad. "That's it!" he yelled. "No more Mr. Nice Guy! I tribute my Cactus Fighter (ATK 1900) and Summon Gigaplant! (ATK 2400) He smirked. "And I attack!" Vines shot out of Gigaplant's mouth, aiming for me. I smirked right back and flipped my two face-down cards. "Sakuretsu Armor," I said, "which destroys your Gigaplant," Gigaplant shattered into pixels, "and Chain Detonation, which inflicts 500 damage to you!" (LP 200-500=0) I chuckled at my victory. The boy growled, threw down his hand, and stormed out. Old Man Everest whistled, handed me my pack, and clapped me on the back. "Another victory, eh, boy? Good work." I smiled. Everest was old, and maybe a little strange, but I loved him like a father. Of course, my father was dead, burned to death when our old house burnt down. I hugged him, and ran out, right to our current house. I ran inside, yelling a quick "Hi!" to my mom, and ran up to my room. I had checked the mail, and I saw a letter, addressed to me, from Ruon Card Enterprises, Inc. Everyone who Dueled knew RCEI, so I was really excited. Inside my room, I tore open the letter. It said, "Greetings, Jonathan Reiji. I am pleased to inform you that you have been specially chosen to attend the Evolution Tournament. On October 16, at 2 pm sharp, come to this address..." I practically fainted. This was awesome! And it was in 2 days! Wait... In my excitement, I forgot about my pack! I whipped it out of my pocket and tore it open frantically, eying the 5 cards within. Let's see...Vengeful Shinobi, yeah...Sanwich...Sangan...Witch of the Black Forest...and...Oh my god! I grinned. This Evolution Tournament will be a cinch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
legendhiro Posted October 31, 2009 Report Share Posted October 31, 2009 not bad, but try to draw the chapters out more, and be sure to start a new paragraph whenever a new line of dialogue begins, and to separate your paragraphs by a skipped line, since the forum format doesn't allow for indentation.oh, and i'm definitely a guy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~Riku~ Posted October 31, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 31, 2009 Okay! Thanks a lot legend! But, I can't help it if the chapters are short. By the by, can you tell me how to post the actual image off the intarwebs of an already existing card? Every time I try it only posts the hyperlink =( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaisu Posted November 2, 2009 Report Share Posted November 2, 2009 [img=Image Url] Chapters are too short, and no description. And personaly, I don't like a POV format story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RyanAtlus Posted November 2, 2009 Report Share Posted November 2, 2009 Chapters are too short' date=' and no description. And personaly, I don't like a POV format story.[/quote'] Exactly my toughts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaisu Posted November 3, 2009 Report Share Posted November 3, 2009 Chapters are too short' date=' and no description. And personaly, I don't like a POV format story.[/quote'] Exactly my toughts. Nice to hear that. So, are you going to reply to this at all YGOF? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RyanAtlus Posted November 3, 2009 Report Share Posted November 3, 2009 Chapters are too short' date=' and no description. And personaly, I don't like a POV format story.[/quote'] Exactly my toughts. Nice to hear that. So, are you going to reply to this at all YGOF? We'll be needing more than the first 10 sentences of the first chapter to judge this. So for now, I don't dislike it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~Riku~ Posted November 7, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 7, 2009 All right... Thanks people... I guess... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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