The Three Little Kittens: A Three Little Pigs Rewrite

[starwebs1]

[align=center]The Three Little Kittens

by starwebs1

Rewritten from Walt Disney’s “The Three Little Pigs”

Written in Bean Word Processor on October 21, 2009 and October 23, 2009

 

 

This is the story of three little kittens, and one big, bad doggy.

The three little kittens lived in a house at the bottom of a hill. They lived with their owner.

The big, bad doggy lived at the top of the hill. He lived alone.

One day the owner said, “Boys, it’s time for you to go your own way. And to live in your own houses.”

“Yes, it is time,” said the first little kitten.

“To go our own way,” said the second little kitten.

“And to live in our own houses,” said the third little kitten.

So the three little kittens packed their bags. They left the house at the bottom of the hill.

“Good-by now,” their owner said. “And don’t forget—watch out for the big, bad doggy. He eats little kittens.

“We won’t forget,” said the three little kittens.

“B is for big,” said the first little kitten.

“B is for bad,” said the second little kitten.

“Doggy is for doggy,” said the third little kitten.

They waved good-by and went their merry way.

Soon they came to a place where three roads met.

“I’ll go this way and build a house,” said kitten number one.

“I’ll go that way and build a house,” said kitten number two.

“And I’ll stay right here and build my house,” said kitten number three.

So each kitten went his own way.

The first little kitten built a house of cat nip.

One, two, three, tape, tape! His house was done.

It was not a very good house.

It was not a very strong house.

“But who cares?” said the little kitten. “I don’t want to work all day. I want to dance and play.” He did.

But someone was watching from the hill. Someone who liked to eat little kittens.

The second little kitten built his house out of scratching pads.

One, two, three, tape, tape! His house was done.

It was not a very good house. Or very strong.

“But who cares?” said that little kitten. “I don’t want to work all day. I want to sing and play.” This is what he did.

But someone was watching from the hill. Someone who liked to eat little kittens.

The third little kitten built his house of bricks. Now this little kitten worked hard. He made a floor of wood. He made a door. He built his house brick by brick. And he made a chimney on the roof. When it was done, it was a good house. And a strong house.

“Now I have time to rest and play,” said the third little kitten. And so he did.

But someone was watching from the hill. Someone who liked to eat little kittens.

Next day, someone came down the hill. THE BIG, BAD DOGGY!

He went to the house of cat nip. He banged on the door.

“Little kitten, little kitten, let me come in!” he called.

The first little kitten looked out the window. He saw the big, bad doggy.

“No, no, by the whiskers of my chinny-chin-chin, I won’t let you in,” said the little kitten.

“Then I’ll huff, and I’ll puff, and I’ll blow your house in!” said the doggy.

He huffed, and he puffed. And he blew that house of cat nip right down!

The little kitten got out just in time.

He ran to his brother’s house of scratching pads.

“Help! Help!” he cried. “The big, bad doggy is coming!”

The second little kitten quickly let him in and locked the door.

Now the big, bad doggy put on a sheep’s skin.

He went to the house of scratching pads. He banged on the door.

“Little kittens, little kittens, let me come in,” he said in a sweet voice.

“Who are you?” said the second little kitten.

“I am a sheep,” said the doggy, sweetly.

The two little kittens looked out the window. They could see the doggy’s eyes under the sheep’s skin.

So the second little kitten said, “No, no, by the whiskers of my chinny-chin-chin, I won’t let you in.”

“Then I’ll huff, and I’ll puff, and I’ll blow your house in!” said the doggy.

He huffed, and he puffed. And he huffed and he puffed. And he blew that house of scratching pads right down!

The two little kittens got out just in time.

They ran to their brother’s house of bricks.

“Help! Help! The big, bad doggy is coming!”

The third little kitten quickly let them in and locked the door.

The doggy came. He began to bang on the door.

“Little kittens, little kittens, let me come in!” the doggy called.

“No, no, by the whiskers of my chinny-chin-chin, I won’t let you in,” said the third little kitten.

“Then I’ll huff, and I’ll puff, and I’ll blow your house in!” said the doggy.

The two little kittens were afraid. But the third little kitten said,

“Don’t be afraid. The doggy can’t blow this house in. This is a very strong house.”

He said to the doggy, “Go ahead, blow. Blow your head off. We’re not afraid of a big, bad doggy.”

So the doggy began...

He huffed, and he puffed. And he huffed, and he puffed. Then he puffed, and huffed... puff huff huff puff. His face got red. His ears got blue. His eyes began to water. BUT...still... he could not blow down that house of bricks!

Now the doggy was mad! He had to get those kittens!

“I know what I’ll do,” he said. “I’ll go up the side of the house—brick by brick. Then I’ll slide down through the chimney.”

The three little kittens heard him on the roof.

“He’s on the roof,” said kitten number one.

“He’ll come down the chimney,” said kitten number two.

Kitten number three said, “Quick! get a pot of hot water!”

They got a pot of water. It was very hot! They put it under the chimney. The doggy came down the chimney.

PLOP! He fell right into the pot of hot water.

“Help! Help!” cried the doggy. “I’m in hot water!”

He jumped up. He ran out of the house. He ran, and ran, and did not stop until he got to his house. And he never came down the hill again.

 

 

 

The doggy still lives in his house, at the top of the hill. Alone. He is still big, but he isn’t so bad. He never eats little kittens anymore.

Now the three little kittens live together in the house of bricks. They play and sing and are merry all day long.

“Who’s afraid of the big bad doggy? The big bad doggy, the big bad doggy? Who’s afraid of the big bad doggy? Tra la la la la-a-a-a!”[/align]

 

 

 

 

Please tell me if there are any mistakes.

[Kendo Fish]

One mistake: Good-by should be goodbye or good-bye.

 

Otherwise, uhh...it's the Three Little Pigs story, only with kitties and doggies. So?

 

YOU JUST WASTED THREE MINUTES OF MY CHILDHOOD.

[Weather Report - Stand]

Yeah, it wasn't too innovative, just kinda there and stuff.

[starwebs1]

One mistake: Good-by should be goodbye or good-bye.

 

Otherwise' date=' uhh...it's the Three Little Pigs story, only with kitties and doggies. So?

 

YOU JUST WASTED THREE MINUTES OF MY CHILDHOOD.

[/quote']

 

And the first two houses are different.

[Weather Report - Stand]

So? I was expecting an awesome comedy. Changing just two things isn't (always) funny. Now here's a Prinny.

[Kendo Fish]

One mistake: Good-by should be goodbye or good-bye.

 

Otherwise' date=' uhh...it's the Three Little Pigs story, only with kitties and doggies. So?

 

YOU JUST WASTED THREE MINUTES OF MY CHILDHOOD.

[/quote']

 

And the first two houses are different.

Yyyeeeaaahhh. WHAT A DIFFERENCE.[/sarcasm]

 

And to Weather...WHAT the HELL was that for? And it sends no positive message. He's an exploding murderer. That's worse than a regular murderer.

[ThatPhantomGuy]

I wasn't planning to take a look at this, but then I saw Kendo Fish and WeatherReport-dono posted in this and I thought to myself, "That means this fan fic stinks or it's awesome...".

 

Yeah... Take out pigs and wolves, and insert kittens and dogs with TWO DIFFERENT HOUSES. Why didn't I think of this?

[Skippy Canoe]

Wow, you just wasted a half hour of your life, and five minutes of mine.