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Adventures of Huntar the Savage

~/Coolio Prime\~

By ~/Coolio Prime\~
in Creative Writing

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I make a return in Chapter the Third. Dude, I love how Darkness portrays me almost dead-on. Then again, this IS a parallel.

 

Add in Chapter the Fourth that Huntar said that Bluu will b& Akiti forever (perma) if he gets b& again. And add that Darkness found out about this while yelling and compromising with Huntar.

 

Yeah, this is a parallel, and this really did happen. =)

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~/Coolio Prime\~ Newbie

~/Coolio Prime\~

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Happy Halloween.

 

 

Chapter The Halloween Special

~THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE POSTING~

As far back as people can remember, distinct areas of the Yugulan empire have been present. Have you ever wondered where the separate areas originated from? If you haven't…I'd say it's time you begun!

 

 

[FORUM]

Boys and girls of every age

Wouldn't you like to see something strange?

Come with us and you'll be feral

Towards this place we call General

 

[postERS]

This is General, this is General

Nerds rave in the middle of night

 

[GENERALITES]

This is General, everyone act feral

Troll or spam till the readers gonna die of fright

It's our town, everyone be feral

In this town of General

 

[LURKER]

I am the one hiding under your thread

Nothing to say and a rep thats red

 

[ADVERTISER]

I am the one receiving awkward stares

Talkin bout my forum although no one cares

 

[postERS]

This is General, this is General

 

[VAMPIRE BELIEVERS/POSERS]

General! General! General! General!

In this place we call home

Everyone hail to the hunter song

 

[bLUEBERRY]

In this place, don't we love it now?

Everybody's waiting for the next surprise

 

[postERS]

Round that corner, troll hiding in the trash can

Something's waiting now to pounce, and how you'll...

 

[AKITI, DARKNESS & POLATOR]

Report! This is General

White 'n' black, we're all sterile

Aren't you scared?

 

[sEMANTICALLY OBSESSED CHICKS]

Well, that's just fine

Say it once, say it twice

Take a chance and roll the dice

Ride with the moon in the dead of night

 

[LEGENDARY MEMBER]

Hate several, hate several

 

[bANNED MEN]

In our land of General!

 

[TROLL]

I'm the new troll that demands some space

Posts in a flash then banned with no trace

 

[ELITIST]

I am the "U" when you yell, "FU"

I am the guy that made you poo

 

[FATHER TROLL SHADOW]

I am the moron who's brain has no light!

Try teaching me and I'll put up a fight!

 

[postERS]

This is General, this is General

General! General! General! General!

General! General!

 

[sEVEN YEAR OLDS]

We like to talk about how we hate toast

Cause life's no fun without a good post

 

[THIRTEEN YEAR OLDS]

That's our schtick, but we ain't feral

In our place called General

 

[postERS]

In this place

 

[bLUEBERRY]

Don't we love it now?

 

[postERS]

Huntar the Cruel might skin you like a ghoul

And whine like a banshee

Make you jump out of your skin

This is General, let's all be feral

Wont' ya please make way for a very special guy

 

Our man Hunt is prince of the Forum patch

Everyone hail to the whining prince

 

This is General, this is General

General! General! General! General!

 

[sEVEN YEAR OLDS]

In this place that's our life

Everyone hail to the hunter song

 

[EVERYONE]

La-la-la la la la General! General!

La-la-la la la la General! General!

La-la-la la la la General! General!

WOOOOO!

 

Cheers rang out as the members of the more ravaged areas of Yugulan praised their twisted ruler, whom had just lit himself on fire, jumped into a pool, and emerged as a skeleton in a dashing tuxedo.

 

Kitty tried to make her way towards Huntar, but was seized by a cruel man in a wheelchair. "I've found you, my precious subject!" scowled Bluu as he pulled her away, "Don't run away from me like that!"

 

Blueberry began announcing the Yugulan General Awards Ceremony, much to the delight of the easily amused. "And the coolest villager is………"

 

Unamused by this, Huntar began walking off solemnly, thinking to himself. His dog Ego followed him, for no good reason, as he returned to his lair. The skeleton was slowly getting bored of micro managing. Out of sheer boredom, he got up and left.

 

The very next day Blueberry came to Huntar's house and knocked on his door. After many seconds had passed, the prince became rather upset. "PLEASE COME TO THE DOOR HUNTAR, IM A MINOR PRINCE. I CANT MAKE ANY RULES ON MY OWN."

 

A villager walked by the distraught man and noted, "Huntar left last night."

 

The savage wandered through the Etherneal Woods, until he eventually came upon a portal leading to other sections of the Yugulan empire. Curiosity drove him to open up a door with a controller on it, and when Huntar did so a harsh wind blew him inside.

 

"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOAH" he cried as the dimensions around him shifted. The skeleton woke up from his fall, slowly, to the sound of laughter and joy.

 

[HUNTAR]

Wat dis? Wat dis?!

There's laughter everywhere

Wat dis?

There's chuckles in the air

Wat dis?

I can't believe my eyes

I must be dreaming

Wake up, Hunt, this isn't fair

Wat dis?!

 

Wat dis? Wat dis?!

There's something very wrong

Wat dis?

There are people posting songs

 

Wat dis?

This board is lined with

Little creatures laughing

Everybody seems so happy

Have I possibly gone daffy?

Wat dis?

Wat dis?

 

There are children talking of games

instead of feeling dread

Theyre busy making threads

And absolutely no one's dead

 

There's lulz with every post

Oh, I can't believe my eyes

And in my bones I feel the warmth

That's coming from inside

 

Oh, look

Wat dis?

They're talking about the wii, they're bliss

Why that looks so unique, inspired

They're gathering around to hear a story

flaming a noob on a fire

Wat dis?

Wat dis?

 

In here

They talk of DDD, how queer

And who would ever think

And why?

 

They're talking of tiny little things

Their threads are more like strings

And there's a smile on everyone

So, now, correct me if I'm wrong

This looks like fun

This looks like fun

Oh, could it be I got my wish?

Wat dis?

 

Oh my, what now?

The posters are asleep

But look, there's nothing underneath

No bans, no hammers here to wham and scare them

Or ensnare them, only little cozy things

Secure inside their dreamland

Wat dis?

 

The pain it is all missing

And the hammers can't be found

And in their place there seems to be

Good feeling all around

 

Instead of whines, I swear

I can hear music in the air

The smell of good posts

Is absolutely everywhere

 

The sights, the sounds

They're everywhere and all around

I've never felt so good before

This empty place inside of me is filling up

I simply cannot get enough

 

I want it, oh, I want it

Oh, I want it for my own

I've got to know

I've got to know

What is this place that I have found?

What is this?

*HITS GIANT POLE AND LOOKS UP AT SIGN*

Vidyah Town, hmm...

 

Meanwhile, the land of General was in a panic as they tried to find Huntar. Kitty was deeply saddened by his absence, but unable do anything about it she was trapped in Bluu's castle. Bluu, her mentor.

 

"KITTY, WHERE IS MY PDF ON HOW GREAT I AM?!"

 

"Coming!" she yelled as she began finalizing her PDF. Kitty added poems about how amazing the ice mage was to her creation; he loved those. Then she added pictures to block the viruses she had embedded into it.

 

"Oh, poems!" exclaimed Bluu in delight. But upon further inspection his frown turned to a frown. "And pictures……You tried embedding viruses into my PDF again haven't you?! The old mage who taught you all you know, you're going to try and starve his ego, which is close enough to dying already! If it's fine you read it."

 

Kitty "accidentally" moved the PDF onto her desktop, then put it through a virus wiper while Bluu wasn't looking. She then proceeded to open the file. "See? Nothing is wrong with it." The ice mage eagerly opened his PDF, not expecting to receive a severe virus.

 

"Huntar is back!" exclaimed Blueberry as he saw the massive ghost dog Ego run towards the group, showcasing the skeleton's arrival.

 

"Blueberry!" shouted Huntar from a flying saucer. "We must have a meeting at once, I must tell everyone what I have found!"

 

All the citizens amassed at one of Huntar's needlessly floated threads. There he told them of his findings with much gusto. Kitty took a seat and listened intently.

 

"See, this right here is a video game!"

"Does is zap helpless citizens?"

"Kill them?"

"Wrongfully blame them?!"

 

"No, you insert into a game engine like so, and play it."

"Does the game brainwash them?"

"Do they get a seizure?"

"A seizure, oh that's a good one!"

 

"I believe you're all missing the point of Vidyah Town! You see, this is one of their delicate threads."

"Is it a giant thread to drain activity?"

"Is it a bad one floated by a zealous prince?"

 

"No no! In here they speak of whatever they please!"

"With a mod breathing down their backs?"

"Ready to pounce and ban them all!"

 

Blueberry noted, "Oh my, oh my! This Vidyah Town does seem like much fun!"

 

I might as well give them what they want… thought Huntar as he stepped forward, "And the best I must confess I have saved for last, it's the ruler of this Vidyah Town! He's a fierce red monster with a big booming voice. And he flies upon threads to burn them down……and they call him Flammee DRAAAGOOOONNNNN." Cheers rang out as Huntar sadly left the stage.

 

As time went by the skeleton realized that he needed some tools to figure out what was just so great about Vidyah Town.

 

"You wretched little girl!" shouted Bluu as he locked Kitty in her room and a knock was heard at the door. "It's open!"

 

"Professor!" called Huntar as he entered the lair.

 

The ice mage's voice became more enthusiastic upon hearing that of the barbarian's. "Huntar my brother, whatever do you want?!"

 

"I've been thinking conducting some experiments."

 

"WONDERFUL. SIMPLY WONDERFUL."

 

Huntar left with much equipment, which he used to thoroughly examine some posts he had taken from Vidyah Town, though to no true avail. It was now nighttime.

 

Kitty jumped from her window to escape and broke into many pieces. But with a thread she tied her artificial emotions together once more and made her way to the savage's house. She threw up a basket which made it into the house of the curious prince. He opened it to see a PM with the message. "YOU ARE TEH SEXY" tenderly fly from the contents and fade into nothing. He looked out the window to thank Kitty but she had vanished.

 

And now, it was morning in the land of General. An annoying tool made a thread that it was morning, and a song once more ensued.

 

[VAMPIRE BELIEVERS/POSERS]

Somethings up with Hunt, somethings up with Hunt

He's acting like an even bigger jabroni--

 

[bLUEBERRY]

BANNED

 

"I've got it!" exclaimed Huntar from the window of his house. "This time, the Vidyah Board shall be ours!" Peons cheered in response to such a radical claim.

 

Preparations were made, and jobs were assigned to all of Huntar's henchmen. Bluu would personally create a giant flashy sig for the skeleton to wear as he moderated Vidyah Town(while he also made an alt account to replace Kitty).

 

"OW OW OW STOP HITTING ME WITH SPAM" cried Blueberry as three mischievous children giggled at his pain. "Oh no, why are Father's Boys here?"

 

"Huntar called for us."

"Specifically…"

"By name!"

"Wee!"

"Oh!"

"Mee!"

 

Huntar stared hard at the children. "Now kids, I want you to bring me Flame Dragon. And leave that no account Father Troll OUT OF THIS!"

 

"Sure Huntar, sure……" the children giggled and ran off to Father Troll's lair to gather supplies.

 

[WEE, OH, MEE]

Kidnap Mr. Flamy Claws

 

[WEE]

I wanna do it

 

[MEE]

Let's draw straws

 

[OH]

Jack said we should work together

Three of a kind

 

[WEE, OH, MEE]

Birds of a feather

Now and forever

Wheeee

La, la, la, la, la

Kidnap the Flame Dragon, lock him up real tight

Throw away the key and then

Turn off all the lights

 

[OH]

First, we're going to set some bait

Inside a nasty trap and wait

When he comes a-sniffing we will

Snap the trap and close the gate

 

[WEE]

Wait! I've got a better plan

To catch this big red dragon man

Let's pop him in a boiling pot

And when he's done we'll butter him up

 

[WEE, OH, MEE]

Kidnap the Flame Dragon

Throw him in a box

Bury him for ninety years

Then see if he talks

 

[OH]

Then Mr. Father Boogie man

Can take the whole thing over then

He'll be so pleased, I do declare

That he will cook him rare

 

[WEE, OH, MEE]

Wheeee!

 

The trio throws a caged owl down a pipe which leads to a dark area in the lair. Nerdy laughs are heard and the owl is sucked into the mouth of a large shadow.

[WEE]

I say that we take a cannon

Aim it at his door and then

Knock three times and when he answers

Flame Dragon will be no more

 

[OH]

You're so stupid, think now

If we blow him up to smithereens

We may lose some pieces

And Huntar will beat us black and green

 

[WEE, OH, MEE]

Kidnap the Flame Dragon

Tie him in a bag

Throw him in the ocean

Then see if he is sad

 

[WEE & OH]

Because Mr. Father Boogie is the meanest guy around

If I were on his trolling list, I'd get out of town

 

[MEE]

He'll be so pleased by our success

That he'll reward us too, I bet

 

[WEE, OH, MEE]

Perhaps he'll make a special fic

A clever song or silly pic

Looooool

We're his little henchmen

And we take our job with pride

We do our best to please him

And stay on his good side

 

[OH]

I wish my cohorts weren't so dumb

 

[MEE]

I'm not the dumb one

 

[WEE]

You're no fun

 

[OH]

Shut up!

 

[WEE]

Make me

 

[OH]

I've got something, listen now

This one is real good, you'll see

We'll send a present to his door

Upon there'll be a note to read

Now, in the box we'll wait and hide

Until his curiousity

Entices him to look inside

And then we'll have him

One, two, three

 

[WEE, OH, MEE]

Kidnap the Flame Dragon, beat him with a stick

Lock him up for ninety years, see what makes him tick

Kidnap the Flame Dragon, chop him into bits

Mr. Father Boogie is sure to get his kicks

Kidnap the Flame Dragon, see what we will see

Lock him in a cage and then throw away the keeeeey!

 

The large shadow began chuckling, "Flame Dragon, huh? EHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!"

 

Huntar was in the midst of telling his minions what to do when Kitty ran towards him. "OH SEXAH HUNTAR, I HAVE A WARNING ABOUT YOU MODDING. I THINK SOMETHING ABOUT IT IS WRONG."

 

"Nonsense, my little angel."

 

"Well, if you say so, sexy. <3"

 

Wee, Oh and Mee returned. "We got that prince you wanted Huntar!" Upon opening it, a giant crab came out of the bag.

 

"You are all moronic, idiotic fools of idiocy!" snapped the crab.

 

"This isn't Flame Dragon!"

 

"How moronically foolish of you to think that, you fools!" snapped the crab once more.

 

"But we went through the portal like you said to, Huntar!"

 

The skeleton made an agitated face. "The wrong portal apparently! Go through the ones that says Vidyah Games, and apologize to this crab!"

 

"If we do that his mindless followers will start flaming us though!" The three children complained but ultimately set out to try and capture Flame Dragon once more.

 

Bluu's intent work on an alt was interrupted by the call of his minion. "Masssstur, the plannnsss!"

 

"Excellent, Ruagor." said Bluu, tossing his tool a cookie.

 

Time passed, and Flam Dragun the prince was moderating his section just fine. Huntar however had finalized everything and was ready to take over. His henchmen had created an entirely new set of rules for him to put into place when he got there.

 

"We got him this time Huntar!" said the children as they brought the captive Flam Dragun to the savage ready to take over his job.

 

"Where am I?! I have to moderate Vidyah Town, this is ridiculous!" cried the man.

 

"Don't worry Mr. Flame Dragon sir." said Huntar with a sense of pride. "I'm taking over your position. Make sure that Mr. Flame Dragon is comfy boys."

 

The prince argued, but was promptly taken away by Wee, Oh and Mee. Just then a fog rolled in upon the town, prevented anyone from seeing. That was until Huntar's dog Ego came towards him.

 

"Ego, with your bright shiny nose, will you guide my judgement tonight?" asked the skeleton. His dog nodded, and they were off. Regaining her sense of danger, Kitty followed after Father's Boys.

 

Flam Dragun was dropped into Father Boogie's lair, and the delighted troll began to sing as music began playing obnoxiously loud.

 

[Father Boogie]

Well, well, well, what have we here?

Flame Dragon, huh?

Oh, I'm really scared

So you're the one everybody's talkin' about, ha, ha

 

You're jokin', you're jokin'

I can't believe my eyes

You're jokin' me, you gotta be

This can't be the right guy

He's funny, he's fugly

I don't know which is worse

I might just split a seam now

If I don't die laughing first

 

When Mr. Father Boogie says

There's trouble close at hand

You'd better pay attention now

'Cause I'm the Boogie Man

And if you aren't shakin'

Then there's something very wrong

'Cause this may be the last time now

That you hear the boogie song, ohhh

 

[THREE TOOLS]

Ohhh

 

[FATHER BOOGIE]

Ohhh

 

[sEVEN TROLLS]

Ohhh

 

[FATHER BOOGIE]

Ohhh

 

[sEVEN TROLLS]

Ohhh, he's the Father Boogie Man

 

[FATHER BOOGIE]

Well if I'm feelin' antsy

And there's nothin' much to do

I might just cook a special batch

Of snake and spider stew

And don't ya know the one thing

That would make it work so nice?

A roly-poly Flame Dragon to add a little spice

 

[THREE POSERS]

Ohhh

 

[FATHER BOOGIE]

Oh, yeah

 

[THREE TOOLS]

Ohhh

 

[FATHER BOOGIE]

Ohhh

 

[THREE TOOLS]

Ohhh

 

[FATHER BOOGIE AND THREE POSERS]

Oh, yeah, I'm (he's) the Father Boogie Man

 

[FLAM DRAGUN]

Release me now

Or you must face the dire consequences

The posters are expecting me

So please, come to your senses

 

[FATHER BOOGIE]

You're jokin', you're jokin'

I can't believe my ears

Would someone shut this fella up

I'm drownin' in my tears

It's funny, I'm laughing

You really are too much

And now, with your permission

I'm going to do my stuff

 

[FLAM DRAGUN]

What are you going to do?

 

[FATHER BOOGIE]

I'm gonna do the best I can

 

Oh, the sound of epic win

To me is music in the air

Don't be hatin cause I be epin

Although I don't play fair

It's much more to spam I confess

When reps are on the line

Not mine, of course, but yours, old boy

Now that'd be just fine

 

[FLAM DRAGUN]

Release me fast or you will have to

Answer for this heinous act

 

[FATHER BOOGIE]

Oh, brother, you're something

You put me in a spin

You aren't comprehending

The position that you're in

It's hopeless, you're finished

You haven't got a prayer

'Cause I'm Mr. Father Boogie

And you ain't going nowhere

 

Meanwhile, the Vidyah Board was in a state of panic. Bans were being handed out here and there, and topics were needlessly locked. "YOUR WELCOME YOUR WELCOME" shouted Huntar as he hopped from place to place, ruining all he touched.

 

"This is Ruby Sapphire from Yugulan news! The board of Vidyah is currently in a state of disaster as an unknown man dressed up as Flam Dragun is ruining all the board holds dear to them!"

 

The savage was still blissfully unaware of all this until a mod force attacked him viciously with warnings, nearly banning him in the process. Huntar laid on a statue of Yugulan Cair Makur, covered in queues and limitations, pondering what had gone wrong. His dog Ego still remained by his side as loyally as ever, through all of this.

 

But to the citizens of General, it merely seemed like the hunter king had been banned. All mourned across the land, save Father Boogie. He took it as a chance to do whatever he wanted with Dragun. Kitty however had arrived at the scene, and used her artificial feminine charm to lure the troll away. She then used his artificial manipulative hands to free Flam Dragun. Father Boogie however took noticed of this and turned towards them in a rage.

 

Huntar's sig was revoked and his name change was removed.

 

[HUNTAR]

What have I done?

What have I done?

How could I be so blind?

All is lost, where was I?

Spoiled all, spoiled all

Everything's gone all wrong

What have I done?

What have I done?

Find a deep cave to hide in

In a million years they'll find me

Only dust and a plaque

That reads, "Here Lies Poor Old Hunt"

But I never intended all this madness, never

And nobody really understood, how could they?

That all I ever wanted was to bring them something great

Why does nothing ever turn out like it should?

Well, what the heck, I went and did my best

And, by God, I really tasted something swell

And for a moment, why, I even touched the sky

And at least I left some stories they can tell, I did

And for the first time since I don't remember when

I felt just like my old member self again

And I, Tar, the Hunter King

That's right, I am the Hunter King, ha, ha, ha

And I just can't wait to rule General

'Cause I've got some new ideas

that will so make them sterile

And, by God I'm really gonna give it all my might

Uh oh, I hope there's still time to set things right

 

"Come on Ego! This isn't over yet!" shouted Huntar as he bolted towards Father Boogie's lair.

 

"Bwahahahhahaa! I be so epin!!!" shouted the troll father to his victims.

 

"Please stop talking!" cried Dragun. "Your horrible jokes and general stupidity is driving us to insanity!"

 

"WANNA SEE THIS FIC I WROTE, ITS LIKE THAT FULL LIFE FAN FIC EXCEPT I SWAPPED OUT THE NAMES…………………AND THATS IT! BWAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!!"

 

Kitty screamed as her IQ began to drop. "Huntar will stop you, you monster!"

 

"Bwahahahha, Huntar is dead, remember?!"

 

"Really now?!" questioned the skeleton as he jumped in front of the large nuisance. "Hello, Boogie!"

 

Father stepped back in a panic and quickly activated a macro. A slew of diss pictures taken directly from 4Chan flew at his opponent. The pathetic troll threw picture after picture at Huntar, but to no avail.

 

"DONT MESS WITH MY PEONS" shouted the savage. Seeing an opening in Father Oogies' composure, he pulled at a thread hanging from the beast. In a moment the sheet of his supposed personality was unraveled, revealing nothing more than a horde of owls, cats and gophers. Huntar proceeded to ban them all, save a small, white barn owl who nearly escaped. That was until Flam Dragun stamped on him with a large foot. "Sorry for making a mess of things…" said the hunter king apologetically.

 

Flam Dragun simply glared and walked away.

 

"Ruby Sapphire here with Yugulan Kingdom's news! It seems that Flam Dragun has returned and is now setting everything right!"

 

Joy had returned to Vidyah, and misery had gone back to General. Things were all the same as they were before. Huntar stood on a hill looking out towards the horizon. Kitty came beside him, and stared at him passionately. With tacit understanding, the two began to undress. The girl's most private part was soon violated by a boney pe--

"OH YES OH YES" exclaimed Huntar, who soon came to realize that he had dreamed the entire incident. Looking about in a state of disappointment, the savage soon came to realize as well that his bed had been dampened by a strange liquid.

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