Pokemon! : Deadly Paradise [PG-13][Story Behind Showcase]

[Ģค๓blє]

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The Prolouge is going to be only about two or three paragraphs jsut to give a background. I'll leave it that way until someone posts and likes it.

 

Well, I have this cool set of Pokemon sprites in Showcase, and a couple people told me to write a Fan Fic, and here it is~

 

[spoiler=Prolouge]

For years a team. An evil team of devious men and woman have dreamed of a perfect paradise. A paradise where all Pokemon are equal, alike. This team is Team Radioactive, headed by Zijon Megomi. Their objective is to poison all Pokemon with a terrible man-made chemical. Zijon has a whole army behind him to help spread the toxic sludge across the world. All Pokemon must be equal.

 

Then, there is The Resistance. Their goal is to stop these men and woman from killing many Pokemon. This group is headed by a man named Daniel Mitzuki, or "The Pureness". Most people have sided with The Resistance, as did their Pokemon.

 

These "Toxic" pokemon have a very different appearence. Their skin instantly changes to pitch black, like a never ending abyss. Anything that usually isn't the isn't the skin usually takes on a neon green color. Many infected pokemon also have a foul smelling, thick green sludge that drips from their mouth or anywhere else.

 

Now, the war is on. Many of the devious people on Team Radioactive have been running throught the cities and forests attacking with their own Toxic pokemon, trying to infect others. The Resistance are on their trail tracking them down, taking their Pokemon in attempt to purify them. It's a quite amazing battle. Who will win?

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[Alexis Rhodes]

good start :)

[Kendo Fish]

This WEATHER REPORT is part of a balanced breakfast.

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[spoiler=Prolouge [b]PROLOGUE[/b]]

For years a team did what? Uhh...ate baloney sandwiches. An evil team of devious men and woman have dreamed of a perfect paradise. Okay' date=' so they're humans.[/color'] A paradise where all Pokemon are equal, alike. Wait WHAT THE!? How is changing your Pokemon going to give your nation peace? What about people? If only you'd gone more in-depth with this, IF ONLY!! This team is Team Radioactive, headed by Zijon Megomi. Their objective is to poison all Pokemon with a terrible man-made chemical. Zijon has a whole army behind him to help spread the toxic sludge across the world. All Pokemon must be equal. Wait, how does toxic sludge make them equal? DO they want all Pokemon to be weak as crap?

 

Then, there is The Resistance. Their goal is to stop these men and woman from killing many Pokemon. Wait, sooo...by killing everyone, everyone is equal. That's...kind of confusing. This group is headed by a man named Daniel Mitzuki, or "The Pureness". Most people have sided with The Resistance, as did their Pokemon. Have is present-tense, while did is past-tense. So their Pokemon joined before, but their owners are just now joining...?

 

These "Toxic" pokemon either capitalize it or don't! Don't switcharoonie! have a very different appearance. Their skin instantly changes to pitch black, like a never ending abyss. Anything that usually isn't the isn't the you said isn't the twice. Hee hee skin usually you used usually twice. Hee hee takes on a neon green color. Many infected pokemon also have a foul smelling, thick green sludge that drips from their mouth or anywhere else. ANYWHERE else? So you can't even see their skin? And also, does their FUR change? Or their SCALES? *continues nitpicking*

 

Now, the war is on. Many of the devious people on Team Radioactive have been running throughOUt the cities and forests attacking with their own Toxic pokemon, trying to infect others. The Resistance are on their trail tracking them down, taking their Pokemon in attempt to purify them. It's a quite amazing battle. Should be 'quite an amazing battle'. Who will win?

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Overall, mostly I'd just like to see this being more in-depth about stuff. Do they WANT to kill Pokemon? Why exactly do they want all Pokemon to be poisoned? If their Pokemon are already infected, aren't they at a disadvantage in battle? If the toxic stuff makes Pokemon more powerful, why do they want these things to be so much more powerful and unpredictable than themselves?

[Skippy Canoe]

This WEATHER REPORT is part of a balanced breakfast.

[align=center]

[spoiler=Prolouge [b]PROLOGUE[/b]]

For years a team did what? Uhh...ate baloney sandwiches. An evil team of devious men and woman have dreamed of a perfect paradise. Okay' date=' so they're humans.[/color'] A paradise where all Pokemon are equal, alike. Wait WHAT THE!? How is changing your Pokemon going to give your nation peace? What about people? If only you'd gone more in-depth with this, IF ONLY!! This team is Team Radioactive, headed by Zijon Megomi. Their objective is to poison all Pokemon with a terrible man-made chemical. Zijon has a whole army behind him to help spread the toxic sludge across the world. All Pokemon must be equal. Wait, how does toxic sludge make them equal? DO they want all Pokemon to be weak as crap?

 

Then, there is The Resistance. Their goal is to stop these men and woman from killing many Pokemon. Wait, sooo...by killing everyone, everyone is equal. That's...kind of confusing. This group is headed by a man named Daniel Mitzuki, or "The Pureness". Most people have sided with The Resistance, as did their Pokemon. Have is present-tense, while did is past-tense. So their Pokemon joined before, but their owners are just now joining...?

 

These "Toxic" pokemon either capitalize it or don't! Don't switcharoonie! have a very different appearance. Their skin instantly changes to pitch black, like a never ending abyss. Anything that usually isn't the isn't the you said isn't the twice. Hee hee skin usually you used usually twice. Hee hee takes on a neon green color. Many infected pokemon also have a foul smelling, thick green sludge that drips from their mouth or anywhere else. ANYWHERE else? So you can't even see their skin? And also, does their FUR change? Or their SCALES? *continues nitpicking*

 

Now, the war is on. Many of the devious people on Team Radioactive have been running throughOUt the cities and forests attacking with their own Toxic pokemon, trying to infect others. The Resistance are on their trail tracking them down, taking their Pokemon in attempt to purify them. It's a quite amazing battle. Should be 'quite an amazing battle'. Who will win?

[/align]

Overall, mostly I'd just like to see this being more in-depth about stuff. Do they WANT to kill Pokemon? Why exactly do they want all Pokemon to be poisoned? If their Pokemon are already infected, aren't they at a disadvantage in battle? If the toxic stuff makes Pokemon more powerful, why do they want these things to be so much more powerful and unpredictable than themselves?

 

This, a few other errors in conventions, and unoriginal title.