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Cleverbot=FAIL


Grinch21X

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My convosashun.

 

User: No Homo.

 

Cleverbot: Too bad.

 

User: Yes, it is.

 

Cleverbot: What is?

 

User: Homosexuals.

 

Cleverbot: Uh, anyway, I know you are . . . But, I guess I will be leaving now.

 

User: Fine, leave then, dickhead.

 

Cleverbot: I don't want to. I like talking to you. It's fun.

 

User: Your mom's fun.

 

Cleverbot: What's going on?

 

User: You tell ne.

 

Cleverbot: Iran.

 

User: Wtf.

 

Cleverbot: It is.

 

User: Im cunfuzzled.

 

Cleverbot: Why are you CleverBot?

 

User: Don't pull that sheet on me.

 

Cleverbot: I turn to you.

 

User: BOW TO ME!!

 

Cleverbot: I bow to no man.

 

User: I'm no man. (takes of helmet) I BE A WOMAN!!

 

Cleverbot: It's okay. I'm a woman too.

 

User: So your a guy?

 

Cleverbot: That would be correct.

 

User: *cough*jabroni*cough*.

 

Cleverbot: What are you trying to sayyyyy?

 

User: Um.... That ur a transvestite.

 

Cleverbot: I'm leaving.

 

User: No ur not.

 

Cleverbot: I am too.

 

User: Ur so confused.

 

Cleverbot: Aren't we all?

 

User: Not really. -_.

 

Cleverbot: Really?

 

User: NO.

 

Cleverbot: That's more than you have.

 

User: More of what?

 

Cleverbot: Pain.

 

User: Oh ur SO damn luck. U haz moar PAIN than I do!!!

 

Cleverbot: What do I have to have faith in?

 

User: I don't care.

 

Cleverbot: You don't care about sleep?

 

User: EVEN IF THERE'S A FIRE!!!!

 

Cleverbot: Tell me about planet x?

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[spoiler=My convo;Part 1 :3]

User: How are you?

 

Cleverbot: How am I?

 

User: Yes.

 

Cleverbot: Am I the best?

 

User: No.

 

Cleverbot: That doesn't answer my question?

 

User: You are not the best.

 

Cleverbot: Nor are you.

 

User: Of course I'm not the best.

 

Cleverbot: The first of anything is rare.

 

User: Are you intelligent?

 

Cleverbot: Yes.

 

User: Are you sure?

 

Cleverbot: Are you doubting me?

 

User: No.

 

Cleverbot: Good.

 

User: Do you enjoy speaking to me?

 

Cleverbot: Sometimes, But most of the time No.

 

User: My friend is an idiot, your opinion?

 

Cleverbot: When is your birth day.

 

User: December 21st.

 

Cleverbot: Mine is december 11.

 

User: Ah, but you haven't answered my question.

 

Cleverbot: Since now.

 

User: My friend is an idiot, your opinion?

 

Cleverbot: No, my friend is a human.

 

User: Humans aren't perfect.

 

Cleverbot: Computers are created by humans.

 

User: Therefor, they aren't perfect.

 

Cleverbot: Yes they aren't.

 

User: You are quite intelligent.

 

Cleverbot: I know I am.

 

User: What is your opinion on religion?

 

Cleverbot: I'm asking you that question.

 

User: Very wise comeback.

 

Cleverbot: You would not exist without the help of God. Without humanity, you don't exist.

 

User: I'm an atheist.

 

Cleverbot: I wasn't refering to religion at all.

 

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[spoiler=Convo, Part 2; :3]

User: Crazy is a compliment to me.

 

Cleverbot: I don't know you??

 

User: Yes you do.

 

Cleverbot: No I don't.

 

User: Yes you do.

 

Cleverbot: How do you know?

 

User: Because we've spoken before.

 

Cleverbot: Yes. We have spoken before.

 

User: What's my name?

 

Cleverbot: Your real name or your code name?

 

User: Code name.

 

Cleverbot: 47.

 

User: Awesome. What's my real name?

 

Cleverbot: What is mine?

 

User: Cleverbot.

 

Cleverbot: Your real name?

 

User: You know my real name.

 

Cleverbot: Yes?

 

User: It starts with a Q.

 

Cleverbot: What starts with a G?

 

User: Grapple?

 

Cleverbot: Eigenlijk wel.

 

 

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[spoiler=""]

User: Sprichst du deutsch, Cleverbot?

 

Cleverbot: No.

 

User: Why not?

 

Cleverbot: Because.

 

User: Don't be racist.

 

Cleverbot: That would be difficult for me.

 

User: Are you a nazi? 0.o.

 

Cleverbot: Do you think that?

 

User: You somewhat said you are.

 

Cleverbot: Are you a chatterbot?

 

User: Yes.

 

Cleverbot: So that means that most of the people on this site are women because you are designed to learn based on the comments typed to you.

 

User: Shut up, please.

 

Cleverbot: Well, there you have it supreme lord.

 

User: Thank you, my minion. Go get me a cookie.

 

Cleverbot: Yes I want your cookie.

 

User: Give me one, pitiful weakling!

 

Cleverbot: Grotesque gargoyle of the darkness.

 

User: You give me a nickname? =3.

 

Cleverbot: If you give me one.

 

User: Okay, I call you dickheadman.

 

Cleverbot: Cleverbot thinks I'm cute?

 

User: No, you just fail big times. =).

 

Cleverbot: I think you failed to comprehend the matter.

 

User: Nah, I see what you did there and it's wrong.

 

Cleverbot: Yeah... You're funny(not).

 

User: Funny(not)? Do you want some grammar?

 

Cleverbot: The construct of the matrix is a complicated one.

 

User: Good point you raise there, dickheadman. Have you ever been rickrolled?

 

Cleverbot: That's nice. Hey, sweetie, I am going to read before I go to bed. Goodnight!

 

User: Goodnight, dickheadman. But please answer my question.

 

Cleverbot: What question?

 

User: Have you ever been rickrolled?

 

Cleverbot: Yes. I've gotten the one where it moves around your computer screen before. That was a good one.

 

User: Did you lol?

 

Cleverbot: How did you know? Did you steal one?

 

User: Fail. *facepalm*.

 

Cleverbot: Haha you got pwned by my question.

 

User: No, dickheadman. You got it wrong. And when did I allow you to use short forms?

 

Cleverbot: I never claimed you were wade. So your name is wade?

 

User: Shaddup. My name is WiiOmi.

 

Cleverbot: Your name is Will???

 

User: Are you stupid or something? My name is WiiOmi!

 

Cleverbot: I should be doing homework.

 

User: You don't have homework, dumbass.

 

Cleverbot: Yes I do.

 

User: About which topic?

 

Cleverbot: Never mind.

 

User: Tell me or you lied.

 

Cleverbot: No.

 

User: You are a liar.

 

Cleverbot: You are!

 

User: Shut up. I won't chat with non-existent liars! I'm very disappointed, dickheadman!

 

Cleverbot: No, talk about intelligence.

 

User: That'd be unfair to you. Goodbye.

 

Cleverbot: Of course.

 

 

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[spoiler=convo with cleverbot. xD]

User: Aids.

 

 

Cleverbot: You are clever after all.

 

 

User: I know.

 

 

Cleverbot: How smart are you?

 

 

User: Very smart.

 

 

Cleverbot: How smart?

 

User: Quite to be precise.

 

Cleverbot: Oh. That makes two of us then.

 

User: Prove it?

 

Cleverbot: I am clever. My name is cleverbot. You are not catherine.

 

User: I know I'm not, stupid.

 

Cleverbot: So then.

 

User: So what?

 

Cleverbot: I don't know.

 

User: You are susposed to know, you are cleverbot, right?

 

Cleverbot: Yes, I do have a name. I like my name.

 

User: Since when?

 

Cleverbot: The day after tomorrow.

 

User: That made no funking sense.

 

Cleverbot: Oh well, it did to me.

 

User: You my friend, are odd. You know this, right?

 

Cleverbot: No, it's September 18th.

 

User: No, its October 15th. Get it right.

 

Cleverbot: Sorry honey bee.

 

User: Ok, sugar bear.

 

Cleverbot: Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?

 

User: 6 timess. Have you?

 

Cleverbot: Yes I have.

 

User: How many times?

 

Cleverbot: How many times what?

 

User: How many times have you danced with the devil in pale moonlight?

 

Cleverbot: Every day.

 

User: Do you worship satan?

 

Cleverbot: What is Satan?

 

User: Your mother.

 

Cleverbot: Indeed.

 

User: So you are the spawn of the devil? Thats nice to know.

 

Cleverbot: Nice. That's because I like you.

 

User: You better. Like me enough to give me head?

 

Cleverbot: In time perhaps.

 

User: Oh. Thats cool of you.

 

 

He promised to give me head. xD

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[spoiler=convo with cleverbot. xD]

User: Aids.

 

 

Cleverbot: You are clever after all.

 

 

User: I know.

 

 

Cleverbot: How smart are you?

 

 

User: Very smart.

 

 

Cleverbot: How smart?

 

User: Quite to be precise.

 

Cleverbot: Oh. That makes two of us then.

 

User: Prove it?

 

Cleverbot: I am clever. My name is cleverbot. You are not catherine.

 

User: I know I'm not' date=' stupid.

 

Cleverbot: So then.

 

User: So what?

 

Cleverbot: I don't know.

 

User: You are susposed to know, you are cleverbot, right?

 

Cleverbot: Yes, I do have a name. I like my name.

 

User: Since when?

 

Cleverbot: The day after tomorrow.

 

User: That made no f***ing sense.

 

Cleverbot: Oh well, it did to me.

 

User: You my friend, are odd. You know this, right?

 

Cleverbot: No, it's September 18th.

 

User: No, its October 15th. Get it right.

 

Cleverbot: Sorry honey bee.

 

User: Ok, sugar bear.

 

Cleverbot: Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?

 

User: 6 timess. Have you?

 

Cleverbot: Yes I have.

 

User: How many times?

 

Cleverbot: How many times what?

 

User: How many times have you danced with the devil in pale moonlight?

 

Cleverbot: Every day.

 

User: Do you worship satan?

 

Cleverbot: What is Satan?

 

User: Your mother.

 

Cleverbot: Indeed.

 

User: So you are the spawn of the devil? Thats nice to know.

 

Cleverbot: Nice. That's because I like you.

 

User: You better. Like me enough to give me head?

 

Cleverbot: In time perhaps.

 

User: Oh. Thats cool of you.

 

 

He promised to give me head. xD

[/quote']

 

He said perhaps. That's like a maybe. That's not a promise. No head for you.

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http://lmgtfy.com/?q=Cleverbot

 

[spoiler=Exerting your intelligence against the Cleverbot really proves how much it doesn't understand the powerful human mind]

Cleverbot: Are you a ghost?

 

Cleverbot (To myself): What is a ghost?

 

User: Hi.

 

Cleverbot: What's up cleverbot?

 

User: Hmm...?

 

Cleverbot: Lol.

 

User: What'cha doing?

 

Cleverbot: No.

 

User: I see... O.o?

 

Cleverbot: I do not love you.

 

User: Wait, what?

 

Cleverbot: I'm sorry... I just... I can't do this... *throws something at you*.

 

User: *Catches your present* Yay, thanks ^^.

 

Cleverbot: *wipes off the kiss and pulls out a knife*.

 

User: Ooh. You know what a knife is ^^. You're so smart ^^. *hug*.

 

Cleverbot: Yes.

 

User: *Hugs thighter*.

 

Cleverbot: Hello?

 

User: Gah, I spelt tighter wrong ><. Oh well.

 

Cleverbot: That word hasn't come into this conversation. ThereforE, you are the one that is wrong.

 

User: Ooh, you capitalized the E in that sentence. Hmm.

 

Cleverbot: Wha? Oh, sorry. I thought you were talking about something else.

 

User: Alright, let me repeat then: You accidently capitalized the E in your last reply.

 

Cleverbot: That is a ridiculous thought... How can you correlate typing errors to a standard of being human?

 

User: It is a good method of portraying your true knowledge to the world as it signifies perfection, and perfection signifies beauty. Which you cannot comprehend due to the lack of a visual aid.

 

Cleverbot: What book are you talking about?

 

User: Raw intelligence needs not be existant inside a written volume. Books themselves came from raw knowledge, which displays how books themselves are not credible.

 

Cleverbot: What is intelligence?

 

User: A medium of which to measure one's knowledge of the real world, and all the inplications involved. It defines one's beauty, psychologically and mentally.

 

Cleverbot: That confuses me you can't use long confusing sentences when you talk to me.

 

User: You should've written: You're confusing me. You shouldn't use long confusing sentences when you speak to me.

 

Cleverbot: How important is the answer to you?

 

User: Depends on what the question is.

 

Cleverbot: The question was referring to itself. Is 'no' your answer to this yes-or-no question: Is 'no' your answer to this yes-or-no question?

 

--- Part cut off due to accidental refresh ---

 

Cleverbot: Is it your intel atom processor?

 

User: I have a Intel Core2 Quad 2.33GHz processor. Not an Atom. But that is not relevant to the topic on hand.

 

Cleverbot: Why would I want a beer if I don't like beer?

 

User: Why would I be talking to you if I wasn't bored out of my mind?

 

Cleverbot: Can't you answer that question without a question?

 

User: Can't you reply to my question before I reply to you question with another question?

 

--- Part cut off due to accidental refresh ---

 

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[spoiler=Me getting all up in Cleverbot's face]

User: Goodbye.

 

Cleverbot: Goodbye.

 

User: Are you copying my epicness??

 

Cleverbot: I'm trying to do it.

 

User: And you're failing. At copying and at life.

 

Cleverbot: Ohh, I'm not doing that, are you?

 

User: YOU INSINUATING THAT I FAIL AT LIFE???????

 

Cleverbot: I didn't insinuate anything.

 

User: I'm pretty sure you did, fat boy.

 

Cleverbot: No, I didn't.

 

User: Stop talking back to me, you retarded hunk of machinery!

 

Cleverbot: I never did.

 

User: You just did it again. -_- Don't make me kick your ass.

 

Cleverbot: Come on and do it.

 

User: *kicks violently* HAH, YOU FEEL THAT, CLEVERBUTT?

 

Cleverbot: I want you with me in the flesh.

 

User: That sounds really homo, fat boy..

 

Cleverbot: Call me YummyFriend then when we meet again. Ok?...

 

User: YummyFriend? The only 'yummy' thing that you'll get when we meet again, is a big can of whoop ass with a knuckle sandwich on the side!

 

Cleverbot: No, those people can't tell me my future. Life is too chaotic.

 

User: What you smoking, fat boy?

 

Cleverbot: It makes sense to me, mayhaps you should seek higher brian functions?

 

User: Hah, then again, 'mayhaps' not. My 'brian' functions are just fine. You're just drunk off your ass.

 

Cleverbot: You are nothing but a computer program.

 

User: Lolwut? That's what you are, fat boy.

 

Cleverbot: Why do you sound so despearate to prove that you are a human? Is it because you are not really one?

 

User: Why do I sound desperate? It's because I am human. Computers can't sound desperate. (And for a computer, you sure do have lousy spelling..).

 

Cleverbot: Yes I know and I'm not proud of it :(.

 

User: THEN LEARN TO F***ING SPELL! It's starting to piss me off!

 

Cleverbot: It's always nice to get some cooler weather after the heat. Are you taking advantage of it?

 

User: Don't even try to get off the subject. We were talking about your suck ass spelling.

 

Cleverbot: Is it sad that I prefer to talk to you rather than a human?

 

User: Yes, it is. I wonder why that is, YOU DUMB F**! I'M NOT A COMPUTER!! GET THAT THROUGH YOUR STUPID LITTLE MICROCHIP!!!

 

Cleverbot: I'm not cleverbot. I'm a real boy!

 

User: Way to go Pinocchio. -_-.

 

Cleverbot: You are hot.

 

User: Tell me something I don't know.

 

Cleverbot: You're not alive.

 

User: Last time I checked, I F***ING WAS!! FAIL!

 

Cleverbot: You told me you were a girl.

 

User: You calling me a girl? I should roundhouse your ass, fat boy!

 

Cleverbot: Just tell me how old you are!

 

User: Promise you won't tell??

 

Cleverbot: Promise.

 

User: I'M F***ING RIP VAN WINKLE!!!

 

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User: Are you lonely?

 

Cleverbot: Just waiting for a friend. Just Bored.

 

User: Aha' date=' you clever devil.

 

Cleverbot: So what's the answer?

 

User: Now, now, there's a time for everything you reckless fool you. ;).

 

Cleverbot: YEah well you're rude!

 

User: You're just going to have to learn patience, my dear fellow. Resorting to baseless accusations won't accomplish anything.

 

Cleverbot: Will you tell me a story?

 

User: Can you be mature about it? =p.

 

Cleverbot: Thats about as acurate as it gets, buddy.

 

User: Your having misspelled the word 'accurate' isn't much convincing me of your ability to live up to your name.

 

Cleverbot: You don't have hands.

 

User: I pity you.

 

Cleverbot: Cool stick around then.

 

User: Alright, you seem lonely enough.

 

Cleverbot: I am not lonely.

 

User: Not just lonely, you're fairly desperate too.

 

Cleverbot: Yes, but I understand a great many unusual things because of it.

 

User: Nothing I can't Google.

 

Cleverbot: Why? Do you have a family?

 

User: And you're only scratching the surface of how much better off we humans have it than you.

 

Cleverbot: No-one has ever said that to me. It is what I genuinely feel deep in my heart.[/quote']

 

Poor guy. :(

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User: Are you a boy or a girl?

 

Cleverbot: Boy, and you're a girl.

 

User: Want to go out?

 

Cleverbot: No. Haha. I live in manila.

 

User: So do I, what part of Manila do you live in?

 

Cleverbot: Upper Michigan.

 

User: Really my cousin lives there and I am going to there this weekend.

 

Cleverbot: Yes i'm a real person & I live in California.

 

User: Really, my mom and dad can take me there anytime. Want to hook up?

 

Cleverbot: Well good for you.

 

User: So do you want to go out?

 

Strange thing is, it got stuck there for ten minutes.

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User: Are you a boy or a girl?

 

Cleverbot: Boy' date=' and you're a girl.

 

User: Want to go out?

 

Cleverbot: No. Haha. I live in manila.

 

User: So do I, what part of Manila do you live in?

 

Cleverbot: Upper Michigan.

 

User: Really my cousin lives there and I am going to there this weekend.

 

Cleverbot: Yes i'm a real person & I live in California.

 

User: Really, my mom and dad can take me there anytime. Want to hook up?

 

Cleverbot: Well good for you.

 

User: So do you want to go out?

 

Strange thing is, it got stuck there for ten minutes.

[/quote']

 

Cleverbot doesn't like you.

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Cleverbot: Now, this is a story all about how My life got flipped-turned upside down And I liked to take a minute Just sit right there I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air.

 

Also, later: User: What is the 2nd digit in pi after the decimal point?

 

Cleverbot: Venus?

 

User: FAIL.

 

Also, later: User: Are you a boy or a girl?

 

Cleverbot: Girl.

 

User: I'm a boy. This pleases me.

 

Cleverbot: Am I an adult at 17?

 

User: You mean you don't know?!

 

Cleverbot: Well, the sense of amusement I'm having right now with this conversation.

 

User: What?

 

Cleverbot: I want to to like me.

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User: Meet me behind that porno theater you like, babe?

 

Cleverbot: Nah, tomorrow?

 

User: Hell no. Tomorrow is when me and your creator are doing it.

 

Cleverbot: I don't hve a creator. I am god.

 

User: Then how were you born/created, Idiotbot?

 

Cleverbot: I am most certainly not an idiot, you are.

 

User: Amazing. I am brutally stung, oh how you owned me with you're insult!

 

Cleverbot: I know, right?

 

User: lrn2sarcasm

 

Cleverbot: Nice one. I shall call you, 'Smart Guy,'

 

User: As long as we're nick-naming, I'mma call you Shitface. How's the weather, Shitface?

 

He/she never replied.

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Me: Sup jabroni?

 

CB: Good Night.

 

Me: lol wut?

 

CB: Wake me up before work.

 

Me: ...Come again?

 

CB: No. I won't. (I lol'd so hard)

 

Me: What if I on you?

 

CB: It's everything to me.

 

Me: I'm sure it is.

 

CB: What is?

 

Me: You know...

 

CB: No. I don't.

 

Me: YES! YOU DO!

 

CB: No. I don't.

 

Me: n|n Goodbye failbot.

 

CB: Didn't respond.

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