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Phantom Roxas

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Dad Apprentice

Dad

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National Novel Writing Month

 

Anyway' date=' I wrote a review for Dragonball Evolution on another site, and I figured I'd share it with you.

 

 

TITLE: Dragonball Evolution

RELEASTE DATE: April 10, 2009

DIRECTOR: James Wong

DISTRIBUTOR: 20th Century Fox

RUNNING TIME: 85 minutes

 

*sigh*

 

I knew this movie would be terrible. I really did. My plan was even to buy a ticket to Monsters vs. Aliens, watch that, then sneak in to this piece of crap, but my mom and my conscience told me not to. I ended up seeing this at an noon showing, which saved some money. Now I regret having to pay any money since I saw it on a flight back to Hawaii. There are so many places I can begin with how awful this is, but I'll start with how it compares to the source material.

 

It hardly does. It's like James Wong just picked up a vague plot synopsis of Dragonball and thought "Hey, I can make that into a movie". I will give it the credit of at least acknowledging how has what role and changing their names, but I'll deal with characters in a moment. I'm sorry, but an eclipse? Yeah, in Toriyama's Dragonball, you can use the Dragonballs whenever you damn wanted to. I honestly can't fathom why it was necessary to change the setting to such modern times, and in what is clearly supposed to not be Asia. I thought this was more of an attempt at film that was meant to fit in with the superhero genre, but let's discuss the characters, shall we?

 

Goku is easily the most obnoxious character in the movie, and it probably only liked because if you're already in a bad mood before watching this movie, just focus your anger on this guy. Justin Chatwin's acting is terrible, since when he tries to be angry, he's really not convincing. He is what mainly makes the film more comparable to a superhero film than a Dragonball film. He reminded me of Tobey Maguire of the Spiderman films prior to becoming Spiderman, only a lot more pathetic. Let's just take a hot-blooded character who's the target of many jokes regarding his intelligence, lack of education, and obsession with food and turn him into the a guy who is the target of many jokes at school for no reason (Okay, I can sympathize with that one. Still doesn't excuse him), has the stereotypical "get the girl" personality, and is a giant coward. If you're wondering who the worst main character in anything could be, it's this guy that goes around claiming his name is Goku.

 

Bulma is a b****. Yeah, I know blue hair would look really bizarre, but this movie was made by the people who made Mystique a blue-skinned nudist with really red hair. Yeah, don't think you're going to get away with including a couple blue strands of hair. I literally burst into laughter near the end of the film when she tried to use a Capsule Corp robot as a distraction and it just blew up. I will however admit that the Capsule Corporation stuff was awesome.

 

Master Roshi is easily to coolest character in the film, though that's still giving him too much credit. Sure, he was extremely over the top, but at least Chow Yun-Fat has talent. Pretty lame that they killed him off, even if he came back. I knew beforehand that his house wouldn't be located in the middle of the ocean, but when I saw how easily they found his house that was just thrown right in the middle of a city, my mouth was wide open and my arms where outstretched for at least in minute while I was in the theater. I am serious. Still, he was alright.

 

OH MY GOD YAMCHA. There is a reason they paired him with Bulma, he's so goddamn annoying. Usually I can tolerate accents, but come on.

 

Chi-Chi was actually quite tolerable, not to mention good looking. She deserves better than Justin Chatwin.

 

Piccolo. Yeah, do I need to say anything? He tries way too hard to show that he's evil, and even though he crushes the house on Grandpa Gohan, he doesn't just crush the vehicle everyone's in while they're chasing after him. He's like Aizen; he's shown insane power a few times, but doesn't use all that power when it really is necessary. Oh, and he's defeated so easily.

 

Overall, this movie is terrible. It has some good special effects, but with only two characters that are somewhat likable and a film that detracts from the source material so much that it has to steal the word "Airbending", I can't forgive it for even existing.

 

Final Score=2/10 Because of the very few redeeming qualities it has, that's the highest it will get.

 

 

I seriously lol'd.

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Nexev Newbie

Nexev

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I could stop trying to poison it from the inside to cause civil unrest and then emerge as the ruler of a facist America which I would make nicer than our old government to make democracy look forever like a complete loser.

 

Is that the answer you wanted to hear?

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Infinitus Newbie

Infinitus

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The bigger question is' date=' what can you do to aid America?

[/quote']

 

Well, you see, an AMERICA, is an AMERICA, with an AMERICA, that AMERICAS, all of AMERICA, with an AMERICA.......IN AMERICA.

 

Get what I'm saying, AMERICA?

 

Also, I knew Dragonball Evolution was going to suck, simply because you can't make Dragonball in a live action movie. It's too powerful, it's too amazing, it's just too awesome to be contained in a camera, actors, and a script. What happens when he goes super sayain? When they punch each other through mountains? WHEN HE USES THE KAMEHA WAVE?!

 

I'm suprised that they were able to keep it's awesomeness on a TV screen.

 

Any other topics?

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Infinitus Newbie

Infinitus

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Football. Because we all now know the New Orleans Saints are going to dominate the rest of this season.

 

I went to a football game recently. I won't tell you the team or the way it turned out, because then you could deduce the state I live in, and my wuss of an imagination won't let me sleep tonight if I give away that information.

 

But, the Saints are a team I like, and I would like to see them go far.

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Dad Apprentice

Dad

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Football. Because we all now know the New Orleans Saints are going to dominate the rest of this season.

 

I went to a football game recently. I won't tell you the team or the way it turned out' date=' because then you could deduce the state I live in, and my wuss of an imagination won't let me sleep tonight if I give away that information.

 

But, the Saints are a team I like, and I would like to see them go far.

[/quote']

 

xD

 

Well, I can tell you right now, we're going all the way this year. Colts are the next team we play, and I can't friggin wait.

 

Speaking of which, I'm disappointed that they lost to the Broncos. Or was it the other way around? That game pissed me off regardless. >_>

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Infinitus Newbie

Infinitus

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Football. Because we all now know the New Orleans Saints are going to dominate the rest of this season.

 

I went to a football game recently. I won't tell you the team or the way it turned out' date=' because then you could deduce the state I live in, and my wuss of an imagination won't let me sleep tonight if I give away that information.

 

But, the Saints are a team I like, and I would like to see them go far.

[/quote']

 

xD

 

Well, I can tell you right now, we're going all the way this year. Colts are the next team we play, and I can't friggin wait.

 

Speaking of which, I'm disappointed that they lost to the Broncos. Or was it the other way around? That game pissed me off regardless. >_>

 

I don't know much about the recent events of football, because I don't keep up with it that much, but I do know a few things, such as the 2 year losing streak team, the Detroit Lions, won a game. Old news, yes, but it's the biggest thing I know.

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Dad Apprentice

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Pfft New Orleans will be dominated by any football team smart enough to change thier names to "the hurricanes" if from sheer tramua if nothing else.

 

You bastard. That's not funny. A lot of people died over that s***.

 

Building a city below sea level in a hurricane zone was just asking for it........

 

Yes because we truly understood everything about flood-levels and elevation when the city was built right?

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Amethyst Phoenix Newbie

Amethyst Phoenix

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Pfft New Orleans will be dominated by any football team smart enough to change thier names to "the hurricanes" if from sheer tramua if nothing else.

 

You bastard. That's not funny. A lot of people died over that s***.

 

Building a city below sea level in a hurricane zone was just asking for it........

 

Yes because we truly understood everything about flood-levels and elevation when the city was built right?

 

RITE!

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Nexev Newbie

Nexev

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My granadparents lives right next to New Orleans anyway. So yeah, I'm not that stupid. Just inconsiderate, mentally insane, and utterly convinced loony toons lik strategys work perfectly in real life.

 

Imagine if you could make a football team out of fictional people. Lexaeus would be an excellent lineman.

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Dad Apprentice

Dad

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My granadparents lives right next to New Orleans anyway. So yeah' date=' I'm not that stupid. Just inconsiderate, mentally insane, and utterly convinced loony toons lik strategys work perfectly in real life.

 

Imagine if you could make a football team out of fictional people. Lexaeus would be an excellent lineman.

[/quote']

 

Zaraki could be Defensive Tight End. <3

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Dad Apprentice

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Football. Because we all now know the New Orleans Saints are going to dominate the rest of this season.

 

They are epic. In fact' date=' my top 3 have always been:

 

Saints

Steelers

Patriots

[/quote']

 

Those are close to my top 3:

 

Saints

Colts

Patriots

 

Why the Steelers? I got nothing against those guys, but damn, they've disappointed me lately.

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