EP. SIX! Cut and Savor! Bakugan Battle Brawlers: The Fan Fic

[Kendo Fish]

I decided Bakugan was stupid, so I decided to make my own parody fic. NO I'M NOT ABANDONING THE PINK ARMY NOR AM I ABANDONING WILD WEST BOB. For your information, the 14th chapter of The Pink Army is very hard to type...you'll see why. ANYWAYS! Since the chapters are going to be big, I'll provide links to them in the first post after this first chapter.

 

[spoiler=Episode One]This is gonna sound stupid, but one day all these cards started falling from the sky, like rain. It reminded me of those stories about frogs falling from the sky. I mean seriously, what's up with that? At first we only knew that they were no ordinary trading cards, since they weren't any brand I knew. But this was even WEIRDER than frogs. It was happening all over the world; in the north...in the south...at the equator...they landed everywhere, literally. It even slid under peoples' beds.

 

Together with my friends on an awesome Twilight forum, we created a FAR-OUT game called Bakugan, and that's when the power of the cards was revealed! Each card came with a weird plastic marble battling beast, and the beast inside would come out when you throw it down. The battles were INTENSE, and if you use the wrong cards you lost it AND the beast inside!

 

That's only half the story! While we were playing around with our real-life Pokemon marble children's card game, something BIGGER was going on! A parallel universe called Vestroia!

 

My name's Dan. Together with my friends Runo, Marucho, Julie, Mr. Hotshot himself Shun, and Alice, we are...the Bakugan Battle Brawlers!

 

 

 

A, a-a, a-a, TWO worlds COL-LIDE! On the inside! Gone, gone, gone, this is Bakugan!

 

[align=center]Episode One

Bakugan: The Battle Begins[/align]

 

 

 

It was another day in the city. The sun shone brightly over the many trees, and one REALLY tall tower overlooked everything.

 

The door opened. "Mom! I'm home!"

 

VROOM! a car said in response.

 

Turning his iPod up full-blast, some kid ran up the stairs to his bedroom. His yoga-practicing mother cried, "Daniel? I put your lunch in the fridge, and don't forget to wash up! Turn off that iPod, I hate funky beats! Idiot kid..."

 

Dan tossed his mostly-empty backpack onto the bed. "Thanks, Mom. I'll be down in a minute."

 

"You're lying! Kids are never down in a minute!"

 

"I'm checking the clock, okay?" He took what looked like a lunchbox out of a drawer by his bed. "Now to check out my 'stache. Let's see..." Inside were a bunch of identical, red-and-orange marbles. "Let's see...I'll take this one, this one, oh, my other one! THIS one for SURE!" They all looked exactly the same, so there was virtually no point in choosing certain ones. He wiped his nose like a true anime boy and said, "All set!"

 

"Daniel," his mother cried, doing a very retarded-looking yoga pose, "you have thirty seconds left to get down here and your lunch is getting cold!"

 

"That's because it's in the fridge! You torment me on purpose, Mom!"

 

"Oh yeah. Sorry~! Ow!" She fell over onto her back. "Ow, I can't move...my spine..."

 

"You're just trying to get me downstairs sooner, aren't you?"

 

"No! I'm serious! Get down here now!"

 

"Fine, I'm going downstairs." The typical dressed-in-red brown-haired goggle-wearin' anime boy ran through the family room and out the front door.

 

"H-hey, where do you think YOU'RE going!?"

 

"Later! AAAhahaha!" Dan laughed maniacally as he bicycled down the street.

 

"When he comes back I'll kill him...OW!!" She snapped her back and fell unconscious.

 

"YAHOOOOO!" he yelled, missing the turn on the bridge and flying over the railing. He crashed into a bench, in front of which a buck-toothed kid was standing. Dan walked out with several cuts and bruises, though he should have had broken bones. "Sorry I'm late!"

 

"And here I thought you CHICKENED out," the buck-toothed kid taunted. "And it looks like you're gonna die before we even start the game, huh?"

 

"That's not gonna happen, Akira! And who's that fat guy sitting on that chair?" In the middle of the cobblestone path sat a fat guy in overalls. "Is that your backup? Because you're gonna need it!"

 

"Of course he's fighting you! I mean, I'm just a buck-toothed kid, remember? Buck-toothed kids never stand a chance."

 

The fat kid stood up and punched his palm...HARD. "Think you're pretty tough, huh? Just 'cuz you leaped off a bridge and into a bunch o' splinters doesn't mean you're gonna last through THIS one."

 

"Actually, it does. What's your deal?"

 

"I'm Suchi, and MY deal is...Sub-Terra."

 

"N-no way! Sub-Terra!? That's not a fist-fighting technique! That's a crazy Bakugan name! I can't fight in anything with such a STUPID name that it can't even exist!"

 

"Like YOURS has a SMARTER name!"

 

"Hmm, good point. Let's do this! I've gotta warn you, I've NEVER lost before."

 

Back at home.....

 

"Honey, I'm home!" A yellow punch buggy parked outside. A typical father figure, black hair and tie and glasses and all, stepped in. His wife was in a retarded yoga position, knocked unconscious. He laughed. "Well, keep up that yoga. Silence is golden, right?"

 

Father Figure smiled and looked in the fridge. "Ah, pudding. My favorite. Thanks, honey!"

 

Back with Dan...

 

"Are you READ-EE or WHAT?" Suchi growled.

 

"Let's go!" idiot Dan insisted.

 

The fountain in the background seemed to spray everywhere, and a bunch of scary CGI pigeons flew by from out of nowhere. The two boys each took out a gauntlet-like thing and took out a black card. "Bakugan Battle, Open!"

 

Six weird, glowing circles floated around them. Each one apparently symbolized an element. The pigeons started flying in super-slow motion, for some strange reason. Maybe it was the funky techno music emanating from Dan's iPod.

 

At the very same moment, Father Figure tripped whilst carrying his flan on a silver platter! "Nnnnoooooo! My pudddinnnnggg!" he cried as the flan slid off, vibrating like the CGI-animated figure it was. His wife was regaining consciousness, but couldn't move her mouth to tell him it was flan, not pudding...

 

The cobblestone battlefield glowed with awesome power, surrounding everyone and everything. The kids were suddenly in a weird, colorful world, ready to fight...?

 

"Hua hueh! Huaa!" The kids threw their cards onto the blue ground, which floated comedically and harmlessly down. Then they started glowing for no apparent reason! They grew into a huge rectangular battlefield! The two kids landed delicately on their feet.

 

"Ready or not, here my marble COMES!!" Suchi the Fat Wonder tossed a brown-and-orange marble onto the field.

 

It hit Dan on the forehead before bouncing onto the field! "Ow!"

 

The thing opened up to reveal its true form: a giraffe mantis-thing which looked laughably round. Then it glowed and transformed to reveal its TRUE true form! A rainbow surrounded it as it grew into a gigantic green-eyed mantis!

 

"Woah! Freaky!" was all Dan could say. With a massive clawed foot the brown mantis stepped hard on the ground, releasing a tremor that sent Dan flying onto his bottom. "Hey! Killing's not fair! That's against the rules!"

 

"Who says INJURING isn't?" Suchi smirked.

 

Dan pressed a button on his gauntlet-thing to reveal what looked like some sort of orange cell phone. On the screen, the funny-looking marble thing was shown. "BAKUGAN: GIANT BROWN MANTIS. ATTRIBUTE EARTH. POWER LEVEL 270. NO OTHER DATA AVAILABLE."

 

Okay, Dan thought, it's an Earth-attribute monster - I mean Bakugan - and its power level is 270. And it's named Giant Brown Mantis! I don't know what I'm dealing with! The only question is, what can I counter with?

 

"Your huge bug is goin' down!" He threw a marble from his marble carrying case, which opened up into a fat snake. THEN it turned into a HUGE and THIN snake with fins on the sides of its head for no reason! It snarled. The two stood there for a while, looking expectantly at their masters.

 

"POWER LEVEL 320."

 

"Bakugan Brawl!"

 

"WRRYYYYYY!!" Giant Brown Mantis was easily coiled around by the nameless snake. The snake didn't go any farther than that. It just hissed in Giant Brown Mantis' face.

 

"All right!"

 

"You mean all NO! Activate!" The two humongous animals just stayed there, waiting for something. Then the mantis started glowing, the two seemingly exploded and Dan almost backed into one of the Egyptian pyramids suddenly standing behind him.

 

""HOly CRAP we're in Egypt," he said.

 

"That's why it's called Sub-Terra!"

 

"That makes no sense!"

 

The mantis slammed the snake down once the smoke cleared.

 

"POWER LEVEL INCREASED TO 420 G'S."

 

"What's a G again?" Dan asked. "Does it stand for that's not good? Because this CERTAINLY isn't good!" Somehow, Giant Brown Mantis leaped several stories into the air! He sliced the air, causing the snake to hiss and turn back into a marble again. Said marble rolled into Dan's foot. The floor turned white and glowy. "AAH with the glowing!" Dan screeched.

 

"You're toast!" Suchi said, sounding really stupid as he did. The mantis was sucked into a marble which was sucked into the fat guy's hand.

 

"GIANT BROWN MANTIS IS VICTORIOUS."

 

"Hahaahahhahahahahahhahahahahahaaaa! You fell faster than a deck of cards in a tornado!"

 

"What a stupid simile! You're an idiot, Suchi!"

 

"Like YOU aren't! Time to finish what I've started! Bakugan Stand!" He threw his Bakugan, and it stood on the playing field. it looked something like a brown-and-orange crab. It transformed into a bigger crab.

 

"Think you're pretty good, huh, fatty? Well, buckle up, 'cause you're about to go on a car ride of defeat! Bakugan Brawl! Bakugan Stand!" He threw what can only be described as something with two round wings. It glowed and was revealed to be a red bird man! He made a stock falcon cry. he made a circle of fire around the fat guy and big crab.

 

"H-hey! I think I'm gonna die of heatstroke in here!" Fatboy shouted. "If I die, I'll kill you!" As Birdman dive-bombed into the crab Suchi could only cry, "Waaaaa....." Before anything dangerous could happen, the marble bounced into Suchi's hand. "Huh? We didn't even see the collision!"

 

"Don't worry. It's all tied up!" Dan's marble bounced back into his hand.

 

"Grr! Bakugan Stand!" They tossed some marbles, which turned into two color-swapped rhinos. Their power levels were 320 (Suchi's) and 200 (Dan's), which doesn't make sense.

 

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Suchi groaned as the rhinos pushed each other, neither of them winning.

 

An awesome gust of wind blew up Dan's body as he held up his card and shouted, "Ability Card Activate! Stars Gloat! Hyah!" He threw the card as if it were a baseball, and its path was set ablaze! The fire consumed Suchi's rhino!"

 

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Fatboy yelled, falling throughout a bunch of awesome-looking frames. His Bakugan was about to fall on him comedically before he glowed orange, turned into a marble and landed in his palm. "No. No! This can't be happening!"

 

"Actually, it can be. Looks like you're down to your Giant Brown Mantis!"

 

"GGGGGRRRRRR! You're right."

 

"One more itsy bitsy battle should put you up for good!"

 

"Rrrrrrrrr, AND YOU SAY MY SIMILES ARE TERRIBLE! Card Set! Bakugan Brawl!" He threw another marble, which was the Giant Brown Mantis.

 

"Bakugan Brawl!" Birdman appeared again.

 

"Now to play my ability card," Suchi said. "Slice Cutter!" The mantis' sickle arm-things glowed orange!

 

"WOW. I'm IMPRESSED. MORE GLOWING. If you think you're the only one holding an ace, you're wrong. Ability Card Activate! Brain Burst!" His ability card engulfed a wing-enveloped Birdman. Most of the flames were wasted on Birdman's fancy reveal, leaving only a bit of fire in his arm. Birdman tossed the fireball at Giant Brown Mantis, who was killed instantly in the bonfire.

 

"Huh?" The marble bounced in front of Suchi, and he just stared at it for a second.

 

"GAME SET AND MATCH: DAN."

 

"It looks like I win." He grinned. Apparently their game of marbles took place in slowed-down time, so the pigeons from earlier started flying again.

 

"Hey," some cameraguy in the distance said, "did ya see that!? Those kids just disappeared for a split second! I got it on camera!"

 

"That's normal around here, idiot," a random girl said.

 

"NOOOOO! My pudding!" The flan splooshed onto the floor. "It costs fifteen dollars at the market!" He sobbed. What an idiot.

 

"...............Huh?" Akuma stared, finally understanding what had happened. "Yo, Suchi, you promised me you'd clean his clock! What happened!?"

 

"He didn't BRING a clock!" Fatboy sobbed. "I'm sorry, master!"

 

Dan wiped his nose. "THAT was easy!"

 

 

 

Stick around! There's more Bakugan right after these messages! Yo!

 

Now back to Bakugan! RAWR!

 

 

 

It was nighttime, and every single window of their electricity-consuming household glowed. The family liked that, since it reminded them of Bakugan. "And then I let him have it with my secret weapon Brain Burst! You should've seen me! I cleaned his clocks for 'em! I was like TOTALLY WICKED out there! That battle was RADICAL, yo! I''m da BEST!"

 

"We get it, 90's Boy," a girl with huge blue ponytails said on his computer. She almost looked like some girl from the television show Dinosaur King but, you know, with blue hair. He wouldn't think too far into it. "You're number 121 on the world rankings, and there's not even that many players."

 

"That's impossible because I'm the main character and I always succeed."

 

"If by that you mean always SUCK-ceed."

 

"I've gotta check this out for myself! HA! I'm at 117."

 

"That's still pretty bad, Daniel."

 

"Hey! I HATE being called Daniel! Don't call me that!"

 

"Save your breath for when you're actually GOOD, "Main Character"."

 

"Yeah, right. Like there's an anime with YOU as the star."

 

"Like there's one with YOU in it."

 

"As a matter of fact, there is! And besides, they'd never give a tsundere like YOU your own show! Only a jerk like me! Besides, you're ranked higher than - wait...uh...PFFUUUUU!!" He stuck out his tongue and spat.

 

"YEAH, like THAT'S real mature."

 

Another girl's chat box thing suddenly enlarged onscreen. "Aah!" At the sight of her huge eyes Dan leaped out of his chair. The girl had white hair and a ponytail on the side of her head, for some reason. She looked a lot like she would be a Winx Club character.

 

"Ohh, Dan, you are so STUPID!" she swooned, wiggling around crazily. "And I so LOVE that in a guy! 117? That's DOWN a few spots in one DAY because they changed the rating system!"

 

"Wha?"

 

"DEFINITELY worthy of a BIG KISS from JULIE! omgLOL!" With a lol she kissed the screen.

 

"EWWWWW! Gross! A rabid fangirl is kissing her monitor as a sign of affection! How STUPID! I'm too young for this, anyways. Girls are icky! EW! Cooties! How dumb!" He fell onto the ground, for fear of contracting cooties through a fast internet connection.

 

"Glad you like it! LOL!!"

 

"My nose is runny," Dan said, wiping his nose again. "Anyways, I'm a battle brawler, I'm not your boyfriend."

 

"You can be BOTH! omgLOL!!!!!"

 

"This is so idiotic," Ms. Tsundere said, turning her head slightly.

 

"DANNY I LUV U!!!!! lol im ur biggest fan!!!!!"

 

A blonde short glasses-wearing guy who looked suspiciously androgynous spoke up. His annoying, blond-haired, short status reminded others of Manta from Shaman King. "Now that she has gone into hyper chatspeak mode, we should ignore her. Perhaps now that you are researching a way to the top rank, might I suggest setting your sights on Shun, rank number 592, in FIFTEEN YEARS!?"

 

"Uh? Fifteen years? Why that long? That's DUM."

 

"There HAS to be SOME way you can battle him BEFORE then," some bland girl who looked a lot like a bunch of other orange-haired anime girls said, named Alice.

 

"Huh," Dan said, leaning back in his chair. "Well, since I'm the main character and all, and I really mean to brag, but he stands no chance against ME because I have an English name in Japan. And no one's EVER come close to CHALLENGING me. Except that fat kid Suchi...and that kid Yusuke...and the Snail Bunch and -- anyways, look out, Shun, 'cause I'm gonna take you down."

 

"He can't hear you," Marucho said.

 

"You've got a point."

 

Later that night...

 

In a more feudal-looking Japan, some guy named Shun stared up at a full moon. It glowed. That reminded him of Bakugan. He liked that.

 

HA! the purple-clad guy thought. I had no trouble beating those four-year-olds. They're just AMATEURS. I need a SERIOUS challenger, one who UNDERSTANDS the VESTROIA dimension.

 

That's because they're toddlers! replied a weird imaginary hamster by his side.

 

H-Hammy the Hamster!? YOU only appear when WEIRD CRAP'S about to happen...

 

Yeah! Watch out for weird crap soon!

 

A scary voice came from out of somewhere. Apparently whoever wrote the script for this program put this and Shun's thoughts so close together that this part might as well have been in his imagination and in reality at the same time. If only Dan knew Bakugan was more than just extreme marbles, but another universe entirely! IF ONLY HE KNEW!!! If only the boy knew of...VESTROIA!!!!! Powered by six other universes for some stupid reason, each powered by their own AWESOMELY named element!

The Earth element, Terry!

The Light element, Chaos! FWOOM SHING! RAWR!

The Dark element, Marcus! SHWOOP!

Aquis, or as you puny humans you call it, Wet Ones.

The Wind element, Air Vent. RAAAH

And the Fire element, Pirate. NO, NAGA! WWWAAAAIIIITTTTT!

 

Two dragons were flying around within the most fiery chili pepper in existence. One was red and orange while the other was white.

 

"Out of my way, Endymio!" the white one, Naga, said. He only opened his mouth once while speaking in an Indian accent, which was weird.

 

"Why must you have all this power, Naga?" Endymio said, also opening his mouth only once.

 

"SILENCE!!" Naga was revealed to be an ultra cyborg dragon thing! "You know NOTHING about us unfeeling cyborgs! You know NOTHING of my homeland!" Endymio could only stare with a funny face as he spoke. "I need to know about that kid Michael!"

 

"The one who died that summer?"

 

"AhahaNO!!" In his long claws he held...a flimsy trading card. "Do you know what THIS is?"

 

"A flimsy trading card?"

 

"AhahaNO!!"

 

Endymio squinted.

 

Slowly, Naga tossed the flimsy trading card. It spun around, turned silver, grew, and stopped slightly to the side of them. "IT IS A PORTAL, YOU IDIOT!! And it leads to the source of the power! AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHHA -" Endymio shoved him in. "BUT I WAS NOT DONE LAUGHING.....HA. Dimension of Vestroiaaaa......"

 

"No! If I weren't so annoyed by that evil laugh I could have easily restrained him...!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

We, the viewers, then fly out of the Pirate universe, out of the holy card game trinity, out of the awesome vortex and into Shun's head again.

 

Huh? I just imagined all of that?

 

No, not really. Like I said, weeeeeeiiirrrrrdddd crap! Hammy winked.

 

The next sunset...

 

Everything was all orangey and glowy. It reminded Dan of Bakugan. Today was especially Bakugan-y. TOO Bakugan-y.

 

Suchi and Akuma, who was looking dumber than ever, were standing there at Cobblestone Fountain. "I wanna rematch ya, PUNK!" Fatboy grunted. "You'd better have a clock, because I'm gonna clean it!"

 

"You LIKE being an idiot?"

 

"And I'm sure YOU like it, TOO!"

 

They took out some cards and shouted "Bakugan Field! Umber!" or something. A nearby car stopped to emphasize the AWESOME timestop teleportation effect. Now they were in Some Place.

 

"I'm gonna win 'cause I have MARCUS!" Suchi took out - *gasp* - a black-and-purple marble! Lines wiggled wildly to emphasize the change. "Bakugan Brawl! Unnh!" The marble opened to reveal a crocodile coming out of a capsule. It then glowed purple and transformed into a giant turtle. It yawned.

 

"Yikes!" was all Dan could say. He also made some anime sweat bubble things around his head. "How'd you get ahold of that Marcus guy!?"

 

"Let's just say...I have money, unlike YOU! Might as well call me...MONEYMAN! AAAH haaa!"

 

"If I'm gonna call you anything, it'll be...Suchi!"

 

"HEY!" He sniffled. "Don't call me that. Call me Fatboy."

 

"No way, Suchi! Now, what should I counter with...something weak or something strong..." He snapped his fingers. "I've got it! Bakugan Brawl!" He threw a marble down Marc Gamera's back. It opened to become...Palette Swap Rhinotron, otherwise known as Rhinozoid.

 

"You've gotta be kidding me! Rhinozoid!? He's a dummy. A big fat dummy!"

 

"Hey! Didn't anybody tell you the amount of Gs a Bakugan has is a key factor in the game!?"

 

"Exactly my point! Now for your funeral...FUNERAL IN BAKUGAN, THAT IS!! Bakugan Brawl!" He tossed a crab with a tail. It transformed into a man-headed scorpion! "Marcus HeadMantis!"

 

"That's not a mantis, Suchi! You're an idiot. You will SO not clean my CLOCKS! I can do that myself, thank you very much."

 

"You'll beat yourself up?"

 

"...No." He took a second glance at the thing. "Aah!"

 

"MARCUS HEADMANTIS POWER LEVEL 330. RHINOZOID POWER LEVEL SUCK."

 

Marcus HeadMantis kept jabbing his stinger at Rhinozoid, always missing horribly. When he DIDN'T miss horribly Rhinozoid easily tossed the stinger back. It continued in a neverending loop...or DID it? "Looks like I need a POWER BOOST!" Dan said. "Like Gatorade or something. Hey, do I have that card? Uh...no, but I CAN say...Gate Card, Open!" Suddenly the field was engulfed in flames. It didn't hurt the Marcus Bakugan guys at all, but somehow it made Rhinozoid GAIN power.

 

"POWER LEVEL INCREASED TO 310 G'S."

 

"Ha! You still suck!"

 

Marcus HeadMantis stood there for a second, then frowned. He belched. Then he poked Rhinozoid in the tummy. Rhinozoid glowed red, turned into a marble, and bounced back to Dan's side of the field.

 

"Man, things aren't looking good for me. If I could have boosted his G's by 20 or more..."

 

"How's it feel to have your clocks cleaned?" Fatboy taunted.

 

Looking kind of funny, Dan countered, "Good. Now I can tell time."

 

"HUH!?!? You're an idiot."

 

Back with Shun...

 

Shun was sitting outside, looking at the sunset. Hammy the Hamster appeared by his side! WEIRDCRAP! he said telepathically. Then, another weird thought came to him! It was about Vestroia again...

 

Naga flew out from the other side of the portal. He was exiting a huge chili pepper, the Pirate galaxy. He flew a ways away and found...two huge orbs, one red, one blue. "At LAST, I have FOUND the CENTER of the UNIVERSE! And it was so impossibly easy as well! There they are, the two conflicting energies, Infinity and Silence! Wait, those do not conflict at all! You can have infinite silence! They can work together in harmony! And why are they spherical? That...makes even less sense than the Pirate universe! But anyways, if I can absorb these two awesome energies, I can CONQUER Earth AND Vestroia! And Pluto. Pluto is awesome. Yes! FEEL the POWER, my tummy!" Two orbs of ultra-glowy powah landed in his mouth and went down his throat like lozenges. "Infinite...POWER! INFINITE POWER! INFINITE...POWER! INFINITE POWER!! INfinite...POWer! INFINITE POWER!!! Infinite...power...infinitePOWER!!!!! Infinite...POWER...INFINITE POWER! INFINITE power...infinite POWAH!!!!!!!!!!"

 

He could hear voices in his tummy saying...You've got the power! Nintendo power! Segata Satan, SHIRO!! The voices only got louder as the power swirled within. YOU'VE GOT THE POWER!! NINTENDO POWER!! SEGATA SATAN, SHIRO!!! Then he felt a rumbly in his tummy. The energy orbs really WERE conflicting!

 

"No...NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO....." The red ball exploded and the blue ball flew into a portal.

 

All of the stupid galaxies started dancing. Endymio said blandly, "What's...happening?"

 

"Earthquake, idiot!" a random fiery bat shouted, flying away.

 

"Naga...it must be Naga's doing...!!"

 

The wall of the chili pepper disintegrated, and a giant fighting robot flew past him. Something in the background echoed, "TRANSFORMERS, ROBOTS IN DISGUISE." He stopped in midvacuumofspace and turned around.

 

"What's a MARCUS Bakugan doing in PIRATESPACE!?"

 

"I FLEW HERE, ****IT!" The Marcus Transformer, feeling insulted, lunged at him with his claws.

 

Even Dan felt the pulse of this battle between Nintendo and Sega-like entities. Suddenly the pyramids in the background were on fire. Suddenly EVERYTHING was on fire! Suddenly Dan was levitating! "Waaah! This is even weirder than the crap that went down the night when cards rained down from the - ACK!" One of the most awesome battles in the universe just pushed past him. "A dragon and a Transformer! I've GOTTA watch THIS! Wait, that's my Bakugan! Woah! Awesome! All I care about are my marble card games! Mom can suck it!" A cool vortex appeared and sucked him in. "WWOAWUWWWWOOOOOOAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

 

He was back in the Bakugan game. "Wow, that was...totally stupid. Hey, when did I send out Snakerake? And who won that awesome battle?"

 

"Uhh...shut up!" Suchi "Fatboy" Janken shouted. "Bakugan Brawl!" Snakerake easily coiled around Marcus HeadMantis. "WHAAAAA!?!?"

 

"Whatever happened to your talk about cleanin' clocks, SOOCHY?"

 

"Aah! Don't call me that!" His tummy jiggled as he sobbed.

 

"Command Card! Quartet Kettle, activate! Now!"

 

At the same time he used that card, Endymio and Marcscream were still fighting...and then they disappeared! "RAA-" Endymio began to yell, fading away.

 

Dan's card was glowing! "WhawhaWHAAAA!?!?" The card transformed into...Endymio! "Darnit! My rare card just transformed into something slightly less useful. I'm not gonna use THAT one." Just as he said that, a plastic marble came out of his card and rolled onto the field. "Uh. Well, THAT sucks. At least it's a Dragonoid, not just a dumb old DRAGON."

 

"Wh-WHHHOOOAAAAAHHHH!" Suchi fell onto his bottom as his card did almost the exact same thing. The two marbles forced themselves onto the field and transformed into...Marcscream and Endymio! They continued brawling in exactly the same fashion as they had been doing before.

 

"-AAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaauuuuuuh. Uh." Endymio and Marcscream looked around for a second. "Stop looking at us when we're brawlin'!" They continued their slapfight.

 

"Hey! YOU must be the two guys having an AWESOME FIGHT! Let's watch, Fatboy!"

 

"Don't call me - hey, thanks."

 

"Don't mention it."

 

"COME to your SENSES, lad!" Endymio shouted telepathically, opening his mouth for no apparent reason. "Naga has taken away your SENSE of REASON, I guess!"

 

"PUT UP YER DUKES."

 

"Now he's up for a fistfight! His power is BUILDING!!"

 

"Doth mine eyes deceive me..." Suchi said, dazed-sounding. He'd seen cards fall from the sky, stopped time, gone to a sub-universe or something and he thought THIS was unusual.

 

"Boost Tiger! Poh!" Endymio spat a boom bubble at Marcscream, who was vaporized for some reason. Dan won, apparently.

 

They went back to the real world. A car fell off the bridge and onto the broken bench, which was being repaired. There were two casualties and fifteen injuries, nine fatal. "I lost again, haaaaa," Suchi laughed. He should have been crying, really.

 

"That was so weird," Dan said. "

 

Later that night...

 

Only a few windows were glowing in Dan's World. "TALK, MR. MARBLE!!" he yelled, throwing the Endymio game piece on the floor. It did nothing. Dan picked it up again and laid on his bed. "No biggie, dawg. I'm gonna call you DRAGO 'cause you're a DRAGOnoid. I'm brilliant."

 

Endymio - I mean, DRAGO - sobbed. NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO -

 

"Good night, inanimate object!" he said, putting it on the desk next to his Keroro Gunsou action figures. "You too, Keroro and Tamama! I'd let you take over the world any day! Now to hook up to da Net!" He went to his computer, which immediately turned on. The chat box chums appeared.

 

"Hey. You're BACK," Marucho greeted.

 

"The weirdest thing happened today!"

 

"Weirder than cards raining!?" Runo gasped.

 

"No. A dragon and a Transformer fought on the battlefield."

 

"That's not weird. That happens on Worldwide Bakugan Day. It's annual," Marucho stated. "Only this one included slapfighting, and I concur, that is a bit odd..."

 

"Log on to the website, idiot!" Julie grinned. "What, you don't browse the internet and spend all your time playing with marbles and talking to US?"

 

He looked at the chatroom and was met by annoying pop-ups featuring long nose hairs. "AAAHH! They're talking about NOSE HAIR, you liar! I hate you, Julie!"

 

"SQUEEE!"

 

It DID talk! Maybe the Bakugan world has more to it than we thought!

 

 

 

Coming up on Bakugan Battle Brawlers!

 

I try to get Drago to talk in front of all of my peers, for some stupid reason. The teacher is too old to understand all this Bakugan "nonsense"! guess her mind's too filled with STUPID stuff to hold anything else! And to make matters worse, some guy called Mask the Money shows up and eats everyone's Bakugan! Watch what happens when I battle him and aim for the tummy! BAKUGAN BRAWL! *wipes nose* Let's battle!

 

We leave our audience today with...the Bakugan dance.

 

Dooby da doo DEE dooby da doo DEE, dooby dooby doob DEE dooby dooby doob DEE, dooby da dooby doo dee!

 

 

Episode Two

[Nexev]

Pretty funny but you forget some key flaws that should have been lampshaded:

1 Cards fell out o the sky an this caused neither widespread panic, nor did the goverment classify all the cards to see if they can use them in warfare before the chinese do.

 

2. Only the cards fell out of the sky yet they re used with marble monsters that are deeply connected with the cards. However the origins of the marbles boil down too "We found them, somewhere" (apparently they can lso be found in this huge canyon).

 

3. The cards defy the space time continuum, no one seems to mind this even though people have to be protected from mere X-rays. God knows how dangerous this stuff is for you and the government still doesn't bother trying to use this for the military. They even let children use it all the time.

 

4. Dan invented the game (at least partially) on a Twilight forum. Despite being a founder he is in 121 place. How do you fail at a game you made yourself?

[Kendo Fish]

1. Good point. Maybe everyone was stupid and just dismissed the occurrence as...something.

 

2. I guess that in this story they come in plastic baggies that include the marble.

 

3. Everyone there is an idiot. I guess they thought that too many are scattered around to hunt down quickly. They also don't appreciate weird crap and how weird said crap is, which I lampshaded once.

 

4. He sucks. And the whole thing doesn't make sense. I guess he gave himself low stats for his Bakugan because "it's more fun that way". It's confusing me.

 

Overall, the world of Bakugan is very stupid and very dumb. It's both of those. That's how stupid and dumb it is.

[Weather Report - Stand]

I CRIED! IT WAS A MASTERPIECE! I CRIED! But still, it's funny, and since you typed it up in front of me, you know what I would have to say.

[Kendo Fish]

[spoiler=Chapter Two]One day, all these cards started falling from the sky, like rain, or frogs. Together with my friends on an awesome Twilight forum, we created a FAR-OUT game called Bakugan, and for a while it seemed like harmless nonsensical fun. But on National Bakugan Day when the beasts within started slapfighting, we knew they weren't harmless.

 

My name's Dan. Together with my friends Runo, Marucho, Julie, not to mention Mr. Hotshot himself Shun, and Alice, we are...the Bakugan Battle Brawlers!

 

Bakugan! One goal, two worlds!

 

 

 

A, a-a, a-a, TWO worlds COL-LIDE! On the inside! Gone, gone, gone, this is Bakugan!

 

[align=center]Episode Two

The GROSS Mask GROSS the GROSS Money GROSS Brawl GROSS[/align]

 

 

 

In a sunny town (or city, we honestly can't tell which is which with this show), Runo was running by on the sidewalk. Everyone could see her shirt about to fall off, since the flimsy spaghetti straps were ripping apart at the seams. "TALK, MARBLE, TAAAAAAALLLLLLKKKKKKKKK!!!!!" she screamed, voice incredibly strained. Runo panted. "IF DAN'S MARBLE TALKS, MINE HAS TO, TOO! TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL -"

 

"You're an idiot," a fat little kid said, walking away whilst licking his oversized lollipop.

 

"YOU'RE the idiot! Obviously you can't even being to understand the kind of bond me and my marbles share! Hmph!" She started off in the opposite direction, jabbing her sharp fingernail at the marble vigorously. "TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!"

 

Suddenly, the wind started blowing more vigorously than her voice! It was drowned out! Nothing outscreams me, she thought. What's...going...on...?

 

"A tornado, you idiot!" the fat kid said, being blown away. "WAAAAHHHH....."

 

He's right! Wait, how come I couldn't hear my own scream while -

 

The gale-force winds stopped, and Runo put her arms down. Behind the swingset landed a guy with big, blond hair. He wore a lab coat and jeans, from what she could see. "Are you challenging me to a brawl by causing a gale-force wind and landing several feet ahead of me with your back facing me?" Runo asked. "You obviously are, person with unknown powers! Let's gets this party started!" She took out a trading card and posed.

 

"I never said that, idiot girl," the guy said, his voice a tad too deep for his body. "But since you look like a really stupid and idiotic Tsundere-type girl, I'll fight. Call me Mask the Money."

 

"And with such a dumb name I bet YOU'LL be easy!" Their collectible cards glowed and a huge pillar of light rose above the clouds. Just to emphasize the Time Stop effect the pigeons stopped in mid-flight and the swing stopped making that irritating sound.

 

Runo was in the fighting area Scary Black Void. "AAAAHH!" she screamed, switching from tsun-tsun to dere-dere mode. Some sort of reaper image flew towards her, ready to kill her promptly and easily. The pigeons went about their business, and nobody in Town City stopped to do so much as glance at the tower of light,

 

In Dan's classroom...

 

Dan was now in school, unlike Runo who was skipping it. The teacher hadn't come in yet, so the school gave the students permission to loiter and do stupid things until they came in. He stood one foot on the desk chair, holding up a plastic marble. "Feast your eyes on my one-of-a-kind marble! That's right, I'm better than you and there's nothing you can do about it!"

 

"OOOOOOOH AAAAAAH OOOOOOOH AAAAAH," the class moaned, drooling as if the marble were a tasty snack food.

 

"It's not one-of-a-kind!" Cassandra pointed out. "I read about it on the Internet! There's hundreds of copies!" But nobody listened.

 

"Ooh, I'm so jealous! I never thought inanimate objects were capable of speech!"

 

"Well, my Keroro Gunsou action figures talk to me EVERY NIGHT."

 

"OOOOOOOOOOOOH."

 

"Make it talk!" Stan said. He was quite stupid-looking, hence the nickname Stupid-Looking Stan.

 

"Do it! Do it!" the class chanted.

 

"Unless you're making this all up," Martin the reasonable guy said. "A Bakugan talking is an extremely rare occurrence in the programming."

 

"Daaah, okay. BAKUGAN STAND!!" But that was about the dumbest idea I've ever heard of, since Drago never talked in Stupid Marble form. Why would he do that without even opening the thing? If it was a rare thing in the programming, wasn't it talking twice highly unlikely? None of these questions will ever be answered. EVER. "STANDTSTANDDSTANDSTANDSTAND -"

 

"You're a retard!" Suchi said from the back of the crowd. "It only worked when we were battling!"

 

"RETARD..." The other kids looked at each other, moaning the same word.

 

"Stop, inanimate object! You're embarrassing me! Now everyone thinks I'm mentally challenged! And what about Suchi? Everybody's ignoring him! If only I hadn't been a dumb showoffy main character! Then I'd be better off!"

 

"Hey, RETARRRD," Rodney said, tipping his glasses, "did'ja finish your homework...or were you a retard yesterday, too!?" The crowd laughed at his "joke".

 

Dan thought back to last Friday. He had a project to do, but was so overcome by Obsessive Bakugan Battle Brawlers Brawling Disorder, or OBBBBD, that he completely forgot! What an addictive and deadly game, and what an idiotic child. If the teacher really DOES come today, I'm going to get a zero! That's fifteen zeroes in five days! He began cuddling and rubbing against other students, thoroughly creeping everyone out.

 

Endymio/Drago started talking to himself, just a marble on the desk. Puny humans, thought the marble. These pitiful beings have no reason for existence, if all of them are like THIS. If this boy Dan thinks he is the main character of a television show, he's got another thing coming. Aah! The pressure of this stupid plastic container! If only it were a Poke Ball! IF ONLY!!! Some stretchy elastic sounds were heard as he started rolling on the desk. His grunts made him sound constipated. I must release my POWER!!! Urrgh...urrrrgghhhh...

 

Just before any mental scarring could be done, the loud opening of doors overshadowed the gross, powerful sound. A woman stepped in with a bun hairdo, rectangular glasses and a professional purple suit. Obviously she wasn't IN with it. "Stop having fun, everyone!" she demanded. The force of her shout was enough to send children tumbling through the air. A tornado appeared in the room!

 

"Aaaah! Ms. Pri!" Kids screamed and ran as the tornado threatened to suck them in. Endymio, having gone through an uncomfortable and disturbing moment, tumbled off the desk and was kicked around by cold, hard shoes. Aah! I'm not done releasing it! It's getting all over me! Aah! Stop it! I beg of you! It's making the plastic container bouncy! OH, THE HORROR!!!

 

"Hunh!?" Dan saw the marble bouncing around on the floor. "Drago! Stop, Mr. Marble!"

 

I WOULD IF I COULD, IDIOT DAN!! IT'S GOING INTO MY MOUTH!! OH GOD, IT'S GOING BACK IN!! NO!!! OH GOD, NO!!!!!

 

Endymio rolled into Ms. Pri's foot as she sucked the cyclone back into her mouth with a sip. She picked it up and said in her usual stern tone, "What is THIS?" She picked the Bakugan up. "I left specific instructions on the blackboard for you to bring in anything but MARBLES!! See? Right here!"

 

Giving himself away, Dan screamed like an idiot and flapped his arms around. "WWAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! AAAAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! WOBWOBWOBWOBWOB!!!"

 

"I'll see you after class...Daniel."

 

"Yes MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA'AM!" He saluted.

 

Fire blazed in the background as Ms. Pri said, "I never said you had to salute me. Extra detention."

 

Ugh, Endymio thought/said. I feel sick from all of that...BLARGH. He threw up. Great, now I have to sit in THAT. OH, GOD.

 

Later...

 

"Now for college-grade babble, class. We triangulate the circle so that each shape is equal and their circumference is divisible by four. Then what do we do to find the square root of each diameter?"

 

"Divide by six!" Rodney answered.

 

If only I could find a way to unleash my power somewhere else, Endymio thought/said. Because God, this is TORTURE!! TORTURE, I SAY!!! GET ME OUT OF HERE, SOMEONE!!! I NEED TO RELEASE IT AGAIN!!! AAAAUUUUGGGGHHHHH!!! Hey, that reminds me of Naga, that galactic menace. I need to - OH GOD NOOOOOO

 

"And by multiplying the product by 17, we can estimate the angle measure of each corner of a pentagon. And by discovering THAT square root we will always have the number 21.614 as our product. And that will be useful in the real world because..."

 

Dan wasn't paying attention to the class. All he cared about were his stupid marble games. He heard stretchy elastic constipation noises and realized Drago was carelessly placed on the shelf next to his desk. It didn't have a scratch on it. He proceeded to scrub it off with a toothbrush he happened to have hanging around between his teeth, however that works. For he not only had OBBBBD, but germophobia when it came to his precious marbles. "SCRUBSCRUBSCRUB THE PRECIOUS!!!" he yelled, revealing to the whole class he was scrubbing a marble. "Gee, I bet you love me, Drago. I bet you wish I left you at home with Keroro and Tamama so you three could have adventures on Pokopen, huh? I'll let you do that tomorrow, don't worry! And you can do yoga with my mom, and play on the computer, and you can eat fruit snacks, and, and, and, and, and and -"

 

The marble popped open, and with it unidentifiable materials! "SHUT UP!!! SHHHUUUUUTTTTT UUUUPPPPPPPP!!!!! GOD, I WISH I'D NEVER BEEN BORN!!! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'VE GONE THROUGH TODAY!! YOU WILL NEVER KNOW THE TORTURE YOU HAVE PUT ME THROUGH TODAY!! AND ALL THIS TIME YOU'VE HELD ME PRISONER!! AND WHEN YOU WATCHED ME BRAWL!! AND YOU CONSIDER WHAT'S COMING OUT OF ME PUDDING!! YOU CAN GO EAT IT, MISTER!! AND YOU CAN ALSO **** MY ****, YOU ******* *******!! YEAH, HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, RETARD!? AND I'M NOT DRAGO, YOU ****ING RETARD!! IT'S ENDYMIO!! AND A BIT OF ADVICE, DON'T BE SUCH A RETARD, RETARD!! STOP PLAYING YOUR CHILDREN'S CARD GAMES AND THINK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE!! THINK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE!! THINK ABOUT ME!! YOU GOT THAT, *******!?!? GOT IT, YOU ****ING PIECE OF ****!?!? YOU BETTER, BECAUSE I'M NOT REPEATING MYSELF, UNDERSTAND, RETARD!?!?!?"

 

"WHA!!" Dan fell backward out of his seat. "WOAH!! Thanks for the pudding! HEY GUYS MY DRAGO CAN TALK DID'JA JUST HEAR MY DRAGO CAN TALK YEAH MY DRAGO JUST TALKED -"

 

"DID YOU EVEN LISTEN TO ANYTHING I JUST SAID!?!? YOU *******!!!"

 

"Dan," Ms. Pri said sternly, "those words I just heard coming from your desk were unacceptable. Changing your voice and saying your toy did it does not change anything. You made me stop the whole lesson just to let YOU finish yelling. THE WHOLE LESSON. And what is that on your desk, i-is that feces?"

 

"No, it's pudding."

 

"Pudding?"

 

"Yeah. Pudding."

 

".....Daniel, you have just given yourself detention for the whole semester. That is for interrupting rather loudly, cursing seven times, and eating fecal matter. Do I make myself clear?"

 

"WWWWWAAAAAAAAAUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH....."

 

"I take that as a yes.

 

Back at home...

 

Dan was eating "pudding" at his laptop. "Thanks for ruining my life, Drago, because that thirty minutes after school is obviously all that matters to my young mind. All you had to do is TALK." He put some "pudding" in his mouth. "But hey, thanks for the pudding. It's the only GOOD thing you've ever given me. Now to go onto the Web."

 

Runo came up on the screen screaming, "IDIOT!!"

 

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaa..." He slowly fell onto the floor. "What?"

 

"I hope you realize you had nothing to do with my losing a single battle today. And, uh...is that POO you're eating?"

 

"What? No! It's pudding, I swear!"

 

Marucho appeared and said, "That really is fecal matter you're eating."

 

"Sh-shut up!" He shoved a pile of **** into his mouth angrily.

 

"Anywho, there's a mysterious man who calls himself Mask the Money. He stands with his back toward his opponent and beats people in extreme marble trading card games! He is a threat to society as we know it!"

 

"It's all over the chatrooms!" Julie sobbed. "And he's only been going around the world at an impossible speed today! It's weird!"

 

He checked the chatrooms and couldn't read through the mounds of vampire pictures. Most of them featured Edward Cullen. "AAAHH! I really hate you, Julie, you know that!?"

 

"LOLOLOLOLOL"

 

"This guy is serious business!" Alice spoke up. "He never loses and takes peoples' Bakugans! Is it Bakugan or BakuGANS that's the plural?"

 

"I honestly do not know." Marucho frowned, not knowing something for once. "But what I DO know is that if marbles cause us pain, we should use them no more. After all, in Buddhism -"

 

"That's nonsense! Battle brawling is our destiny and nothing can change that!"

 

"Really?"

 

"Did they take yours, Runo?"

 

"Yeah. My precious Terrorclaw is gone for good."

 

"You are the only warrior on earth that can save us!" Marucho cried.

 

"Don't worry, guys. He's OBVIOUSLY coming to my town next, so when I fight him (which I obviously will), he'll automatically be forced to mail your Bakugan back to you! That include yours, Runo, and that's a fact I'm establishing TWICE because that's how much I care."

 

"Why do you care so much about me?"

 

"Because jerks love tsunderes. It's an anime rule! That's why I have an anime and you don't!"

 

"Oh, I just wanna hug you now!" Runo swooned, for some stupid reason.

 

"AAAAAHHH," the girls sighed in unison.

 

"Hey, why does nobody fall for ME?" Marucho looked sad.

 

"Because you're nerdy!" Julie pointed out. "And you have a mole on your forehead."

 

"I DO!?!?"

 

"I'm gonna take him on, which has already been established!"

 

Everyone gasped. Apparently they hadn't been paying attention the first time, because they sounded like this was news. NEW news.

 

"WHAT IF U LOSE, 2!?!?!?!" Tears streamed down her face.

 

"I'd lose my Bakugan, obviously. You haven't been paying attention, have you?"

 

"But Mask the Money's at rank 592 now!" Marucho yelled.

 

"YOU'RE KIDDING!!!" Even though that was really the only logical way Mask the Money would have never lost, Dan was obviously not very bright, so this flew right past him like a crow yelling "baka". "Shun HAS to be 592! If he's not the world will...i-implode or something! I'm the only one in the world who can fix this!" He then drifted into what was supposed to be an emotional speech, but what came off as making him look like a failure face.

 

"But you're not REALLY sure he's coming to Your Town, are you?" Marucho had a valid point.

 

"No! He HAS to!" He shoveled some **** into his mouth. "He HAS to!" He banged his fists on the desk and whined like a toddler. He turned his laptop onto Video Mode and said, "HEY, MONEY MASK MAN!?!? YOU WANT A CHALLENGE, HUH!? WELL, I'M DAN DA MAN, AND I'M-A CRUSH JOOO!!!!!"

 

"SHUT UP, YOU M***** ******!!!!!" Drago opened again and brought with him more pudding.

 

"Aw, Drago - hey, thanks for the pudding." He emptied the crap into his pudding bowl before saying, "Can't you see I'm trying to film myself shouting at nobody in particular?"

 

"Listen, puny earthling. I am not a toy. The correct term is marble, for your information. And the name's Endymio, not Drago, you uncreative ***********. Bakugan is not just a game for your own amusement. Well, it kind of is...BUT IT'S MORE THAN THAT!!!!! Do YOU think it's just a game? HUH, PUNK!?"

 

"Heck yeah! It's like the most awesome game to come from this millennium! I love how it makes me feel like I own somebody! Because that became against the law, like, a century ago in America and it's hard to get that feeling again, even in what's apparently Japan, y'know! And I LOVE winning! What's the matter, Drago? You actually have feelings and don't like slapping giant fighting robots?"

 

Drago closed again. "Bakugan - EEERGH - is more - AAARGH - than just - BLEHH - a game. AND I'M NOT DRAGO, YOU *****-******' *****!!!"

 

All Dan could do was widen his eyes.

 

In some blue dark bricky place...

 

"HEY, MONEY MASK MAN!?!? YOU WANT A CHALLENGE, HUH!? WELL, I'M DAN DA MAN, AND I'M-A CRUSH JOOO!!!!!"

 

All Mask the Money could do was smile behind his huge glasses that went down to his chin.

 

The next day after school...

 

"OUT OF THE WAY!!!!! MAIN CHARACTER COMING THROUGH!!!!!" Dan irritatingly ran through the sidewalk. "COME OUT, MASK THE MONEY!!!!! COME OUT AND FIGHT!!!!!" He came to a secluded, fenced area. "COME OUT, MASK THE MONEY!!!!! Oh, wait, it's just that fat kid Suchi."

 

"Right you are!" Suchi turned around and smirked. "For calling me Suchi and winning fairly against me twice, I DESERVE a rematch."

 

"What's Akuma doing next to you?"

 

"Oh, uh...I can't function properly without him. 'S a elf-esteem condition fatboys like me have. So are you gonna walk away, because you have the ability to just run away from this battle, or stay here and fight like the idiot you are!?"

 

"I'll take the second option."

 

"TOO BAD!! BAKUGAN FIELD, OPEN!!" They appeared in what was apparently Sub-Terra.

 

"It's on!"

 

 

 

Stick around for more Bakugan Battle Brawlers!

 

Now back to Bakugan Battle Brawlers! SHING!

 

 

 

Suddenly, Snakerake was the only Bakugan on the field. Looks like you just missed something. "Waaaaah!?!? You beat my guys just like - just - just -"

 

"Looks like you zoned out on the commercial break, huh, Fatboy? Drago, finish this for me! Bakugan Stand!" He tossed Endymio out onto the field.

 

"ENDYMIO, ***** ******S!!!!" A big red dragon appeared, and his name was Endymio.

 

"Heh. I'm not shocked. I saw you use that already!"

 

"Finally...I can move freely!"

 

"Drago, stay put, 'cuz I use this card! Ability Card, Activate! McAfee Firewall!" He threw a card, which surrounded Endymio in smoldering flame.

 

"I can't stay here! I have to go! And I take no orders from idiot boys like you! Besides, birdmen can fly, you *******!"

 

"This is the palette swap I've been WAITING to use." Suchi smirked as he cried, "Bakugan Stand!" Moldly Birdman was sent out!

 

"POWER LEVEL INCREASED TO 300 G'S FOR NO APPARENT REASON."

 

"I might be a hundred points below you, but that's...uh...a small hurdle! Ability Card, ACtivate! Big Jump!" Moldy Birdman flew over Endymio's head easily.

 

"WHAAAAAAA!?!? He flew clear over that wall!" Dan was in shock!

 

"...You're a ******* idiot."

 

A falcon cry rang out as Moldy Birdman nipped Endymio's neck non-fatally. "Moldy Birdman! Come to your senses! Our fight is not with each other, but with those ***********es controlling us out there. It is their negative energy that drives you!"

 

"I fight with instinct!" He nipped harder.

 

"Yeowch! You leave me no choice! Firewall, home in on 'im!" The firewall closed around them, only harming and defeating Moldy Birdman in the process.

 

"He smothered the wind!" Dan shouted for no reason.

 

As Fatboy's marble returned he could only shout, "Waaah, WWWWAAAAAAAAAA -"

 

Back to the real world. Before Endymio could go, they were back in Your Town (which is, by the way, the town's real name). Cars drove to further emphasize this.

 

Dan wiped his nose like a true anime boy again. "Heh. You lose."

 

"Why are you wiping your nose!?" Suchi shouted, backing away in fear.

 

Akuma came up and said annoyingly, "I was like NO and you were like YES LET'S BATTLE HIM and see what happened? You're an idiot, and a thin idiot at that. Go back home, Soochy, and go hug your mommy or whatever THIN boys like YOU do." At the "thin idiot" remark, he ran away sobbing. "Well, bye, Idiot Bros." Akuma ran away.

 

"If you wanna lose, you...know who to call."

 

"You're stupid!" Akuma yelled. "Stuuuuuupiiiiiiid....."

 

"Hey, Drago," Dan started. "Oh, hey, there's pudding all over you. How'd that happen? Well, anyways......Oh, the silent treatment, huh? You're angry just because you have virtually no free will? I'd KILL for the chance NOT to have - oh, wait..."

 

"Hey," a voice said from a nearby passageway. "I'm looking for Dan. Yeah, that's right. I'm looking for Dan Crap. 'Cause kuso in Japanese means CRAP. He's lucky 'cause I didn't say ****. Oops. i just did." Mask the Money stepped out!"

 

"So you're Mask the Money. Now I can put a face to the name - HOly! You're a disgrace to fashion! Just...just look at those GLASSES, I mean, REALLY!"

 

"Ha."

 

"...I've spent five minutes planning this battle, and there's no way you're gonna let that all go to waste!"

 

"Fine. Lets duel, Dan CRAP."

 

"Bakugan Field, Open!" They were now standing on a shiny white floor. "Gate Card Set!" The rectangular field was set after the two did a couple of pirouettes and curtsied.

 

Mask the Money then dropped a card into the field! It dissolved and gave off a glowy shock wave. What'd he put down? Dan thought. Oh well. Totally not his trump card. Bakugan Stand!" He threw out Snakerake! "Yeah! Do some damage!"

 

Mask the Money raised his hand slowly, as if he were about to answer a question. Dan thought he was about to say "divide by six", but instead he yelled, "Bakugan Stand! Generic Reaper!" A reaper demon thing appeared, the same one that promptly slaughtered Runo before she could do so much as finish her screaming. His legs were too tall to make him look threatening.

 

"GENERIC REAPER POWER LEVEL 370 G'S. SNAKERAKE POWER LEVEL 320 G'S. YOU KNOW, DRAGO COULD HAVE FINISHED HIM IN ONE SHOT. YOU ARE SUCH AN IDIOT, DAN."

 

"No, I'm not! Field Card, Open! Fire Stuff!" Some fire surrounded the two.

 

"POWER LEVEL 620 G'S."

 

"Let's see ya trump THAT." Obviously he would, if only because he said that aloud.

 

"Thanks to your saying that, I've got the perfect card for that. Ability Card, Activate. Dimension Pour." Mask the Money slowly raised his hand, in which appeared a cup. From it poured water, which immediately poured out the fire with a single drop.

 

"POWER LEVEL DROP TO 320 G'S."

 

"Wh-wh-wh-wh-WHHHAAAAA!?!?"

 

"That was Dimension Pour, Mr. Crap. Emphasis on the CRAP. Now, Bakugan Brawl!"

 

"Rawr!"" Generic Reaper grabbed Snakerake by the ear things!

 

"NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Snakerake, hang in there!"

 

Just then, Mask the Money's mouth opened up really wide! Generic Reaper threw Snakerake into it -- and Mask the Money ate it up! He made delighted chewing sounds.

 

"WHAT THE!?!? That's bizarre!" Recycling old footage from the first episode Dan yelled "Bakugan Stand!" and threw Rhinozoid out onto the field.

 

"POWER LEVEL SUCK. YOU ARE AN IDIOT AND YOU SUCK. THAT IS WHY YOUR NAME IS CRAP."

 

"Shut up, gauntlet!"

 

"NO."

 

"Bakugan Stand! Bakugan Brawl!" Mask the Money threw out the exact same guy, which was kind of a waste of time and energy. Generic Reaper glared at Rhinzoid, realizing immediately that he was a palette swap.

 

He knows!

 

"Ability Card, Activate! Stars Glow!" He furiously recycled footage as he tossed fire around the field.

 

But Mask the Money reused his own footage! What a mimic. "Bubble Dimension." A small bubble appeared in front of him. He poked it and the bubble splattered all over the flames, so the ability card was no more. Generic Reaper tossed Rhinozoid into Mask the Money's big mouth.

 

"I already played the Doom card."

 

"Wha?"

 

"Yeah. The Doom card. It overpowers everything else with its cheapness and sheer cheaposity. So you lose, because your marbles are in the Doom Dimension."

 

"Is that even legal, gauntlet!?"

 

"DOOM DIMENSION IS LEGAL."

 

"Huh...the Doom Dimension."

 

"The Doom Dimension," Drago repeated.

 

"Wait, so the five dimensions are line, shape, form, time and DOOM!?!? Freaking doom! Is this what our world's coming to!?"

 

"It's true, *******," Drago confirmed. "Whatever goes into his stomach, or the Doom Dimension, never comes out."

 

"Not even through-"

 

"OH GOD NO, I TOLD YOU IT DOESN'T COME OUT!! YOU DISGUSTING *******!!"

 

"Mask the Money, my marble just explained it all! You're eating everyone's marbles, is that right!?"

 

"Well, yeah. I'm surprised that a Crap like you could figure it out."

 

"Drago, this could be our only chance! Bakugan Stand! Bakugan Brawl!"

 

"I KEEP TELLING YOU IT'S ****IN' ENDYMIO, YOU ***** ******!!! GOD, DO YOU EVER LISTEN!?" Drago was obviously sent out. "I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS FIGHT, I KEEP TELLING YOU I HAVE -"

 

"I SAID Bakugan Brawl! Maybe YOU'RE the one who doesn't listen, Drago. Hmph." He crossed his arms.

 

"Fine. Aoum!" He bit Generic Reaper's scythe before going into a dodging match with him. "Do you not care about Vestroia!?"

 

"I am but a soldier in the army of LIFE!!"

 

"Don't we have better things to do than this?"

 

"NO. A soldier of life inherits the power of their army! AND SO I AM!!"

 

"You and your stupid metaphors..!"

 

"And the dragon is slaughtered by the knight! OF VENGEANCE!!!" His scythe was slammed into Drago's skull! An explosion appeared in the middle of Vestroia, devastating...nobody, because nobody lived in the center of the universe.

 

"NO! DRA-"

 

"I TOLD YOU IT'S ENDYMIO, YOU UNGRATEFUL *******!!!!!"

 

"Gate Card, Open! Fire Store!" Some fire appeared on the field. Creative. Suddenly Generic reaper had fallen off, and Drago had a chance at victory! "This is the final - Drago?"

 

"Rwwaaaaaaaaaa!!!" Some rocks flew around a fiery Drago, who was burning...with rage! "IF YOU WON'T LET ME RELEASE MY POWER SOMEWHERE ELSE I'LL HAVE TO DO IT HEEEEERE! ULTIMATE BOOST!"

 

"Aim for the tummy, Dragooooo....."

 

The match ended. Cars drove again.

 

"DRAGO!" Dan shouted. "DRAGO WHERE ARE - oh." He was sitting on the ground. "Wha? I hope I beat that guy Mask the Money, because if I didn't I -"

 

"i spared ya, Crap." Mask the Money was at the passageway again. "But really, Bakugan isn't just a game. It involves other stupid dimensions and stuff like that. And if you beat me the entire world will be destroyed for some strange reason. So. Seeya, Crap." He walked away.

 

"WHA!?!? Well, better go. Don't wanna miss cookie break!" Dan ran away.

 

"So...that was a Dragonoid?" Generic Reaper, now in marble form, asked his owner. "I wonder if that really WAS his ultimate attack.

 

"No idea. But he did not possess what I am looking for..." He blushed through his stupid glasses.

 

"Why are you blushing, sir?"

 

 

 

Next time on Bakugan Battle Brawlers!

 

Me and Drago make a loud noise at my house. Mom and Dad are getting worried about my "obsession" with the game, but I tell them not to worry. It won't burn the house down. Then I fight a kid named Ricky Boy. I'm obviously not losing because Mask the Money sent him. It's a feud between friends! Bakugan Brawl! *wipes nose* Seeya there!

 

We leave our audience today with...the Bakugan dance.

 

Dooby da doo DEE dooby da doo DEE, dooby dooby doob DEE dooby dooby doob DEE, dooby da dooby doo dee!

 

 

And that was the full episode two.

[ThatPhantomGuy]

Aha ha ha ha ha! Truely this is a work of art, I love it! Talk marbles, TALK!!! Aha ha ha ha!

 

I think Bakugan is stupid also, Yu-Gi-Oh FTW!

[Kendo Fish]

Both series have their stupid points, but Bakugan has more, FO SHO. It's great parody material.

 

Thanks for the good comments. YO.

[Kendo Fish]

Also, Episode Two has been concluded.

[Kendo Fish]

[spoiler=Episode Three]One day, all these cards started falling from the sky, like rain, or frogs. Together with my friends on an awesome Twilight forum, we created a FAR-OUT game called Bakugan, and for a while it seemed like harmless nonsensical fun. But on National Bakugan Day when the beasts within started slapfighting, we knew they weren't harmless.

 

My name's Dan. Together with my friends Runo, Marucho, Julie, not to mention Mr. Hotshot himself Shun, and Alice, we are...the Bakugan Battle Brawlers!

 

Bakugan! One goal, two worlds!

 

 

 

A, a-a, a-a, TWO worlds COL-LIDE! On the inside! Gone, gone, gone, this is Bakugan!

 

[align=center]Episode Three

A Feud Between Friends[/align]

 

Pirate HeadMantis, a stupid palette swap Bakugan, yawned. Stupid-looking An(dy, the brother of Stan) was standing behind it, cringing. He wasn't proud of owning a palette swap at his best Bakugan. On the other side of the field was one of another guy's mediocre marbles, Wet One Gamera, who roared. The kid behind him had red hair and a blue jacket, much like that stupid kid in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Fast Forward. Only this guy's chin had an X drawn on it, almost like someone didn't like it and doodled all over it to show how much they despised it. He also had a un-stylish chain across his chest and spikier, anime-ier hair.

 

"Hey, Pirate HeadMantis!" he cried, voice deep, bully-like and dumb. "Death Tornado!" He threw a card, which spiraled around Wet One Gamera. A whirlpool of Wet Ones emerged from the card, sucking the pirate in, who didn't do anything but wiggle inside. Everything glowed, as usual.

 

Suddenly, they were in a baseball field. "Catch," a kid said, throwing a ball. Instead it flew towards a newly-repaired bench with several people sitting on it.

 

"Everybody run for it!" a balding man screeched, and they did. The baseball made a huge hole in the seat of the bench.

 

Some people were jogging.

 

"Heh heh, better luck next time, kid." The X-marked chin kid talked fast.

 

"NEXT time?" the very feminine-sounding guy said. "I don't think so! You got my Bakugan, man!"

 

"Well, duh, as if I couldn't see that. As for me, I ALWAYS win. Now, admit it! An stands for Anne, not Andy!"

 

"No! Never! It's Andy, I swear!"

 

"PIRATE HEADMANTIS POWER LEVEL 150 G'S."

 

"WHAT!?!? Only 150!? I got ripped off by something I forcefully took from someone!"

 

"MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE CHECKED THE POWER LEVEL BEFORE YOU STOLE IT, IDIOT."

 

"I am NOT an idiot!"

 

'What a sore loser!" An(ne) exclaimed.

 

"Yeah! And stupid, too!" Rodney had apparently been standing there the whole time.

 

"What more do you want from us, Ricky? You beat all three of us!" Ningen pointed out. He had slightly longer hair. All three of them had blue hair, hence the name Blue Hair Troopers.

 

"MEH!!" He stormed off.

 

"WHAT was with THAT idiot?" An asked the Troopers.

 

"There's a lot of idiots here, An," replied Rodney.

 

"Oh, right."

 

Now Ricky was walking through the forest, speaking aloud to himself for no reason whatsoever. "Man, there's no one in this town who can beat me! What's the point of even COMING to Your Town? I mean, there's museums and restaurants and famous people and movie theaters, but that's all LAME. What I'm looking for is a challenging game of extreme marbles! HEY, TREES!?!? YEAH, YOU GUYS ALL AROUND ME!!! YOU WANNA FIGHT!?!?"

 

"You want a challenge, do you?" a voice echoed.

 

He gasped. "The tree...it talked...!"

 

"No, you fool!" A blue marble was lobbed at Ricky, who grabbed it. It's a Wet One! He could instantly tell this by the color scheme of blue and light blue.

 

Mask the Money was standing on a tree branch, leaning against the trunk! "Hey, Ricky Boy. That's right, Crap. 'Cause your last name Mary means BOY. You're lucky 'cause I didn't say...forget it, it only works with CRAP. Like YOU. But listen, you WON'T be crap if you use this Bakugan. It has all the power you - ack!" The flimsy branch gave way, and he fell into a bush. "Trust me! I wouldn't lie to yooooooooo....." The bush swayed a bit, and Ricky knew he was gone.

 

"Mysterious bullies NEVER lie!" He grinned and ran away. "No way it's counterfeit!"

 

In Cobblestone Park...

 

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'VE BEEN TOLD! UHH...I'M DA BEST, BATTLE BRAWLERS! I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'VE BEEN TOLD, I'M DAN DA MAN, BATTLE BRAWLERS!" Dan was jogging, apparently to stay in shape. He didn't want to suck at tossing marbles, and apparently you have to jog to accomplish THAT. "I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'VE BEEN TOLD.....UHHHH.....I DUNNO WHAT I'VE BEEN TOLD!"

 

He tried to do chin-ups on the playground, and positively failed. After he did one his hands slipped, causing his lower jaw to jab into his lip. He did this several times.

 

He also failed at push-ups. He kept pushing up with his legs, elbows resting on the ground. "HA!! I OWN you, push-ups!! AH'M DAN DA MAN, AND JOO BETTA BELIEVE IT, PUSH-UPS!!"

 

He started dancing, which was stupid enough not to get edited from the existing episode. "Ha! Hee! Ho! Ha! Ha! HEE! Ho! Ha!"

 

He tossed an imaginary marble. ONCE.

 

Dan wiped his nose. "I'M DA MAAAAN!!"

 

"YOU ARE NOT THE MAN, YOU ****ING IDIOT!! TO PLAY BAKUGAN YOU DON'T NEED ALL THAT ****ING EXERCISE TO PLAY ****ING BAKUGAN!! IT'S JUST TOSSING A ****MARBLE!! YOU FAIL AT CHIN-UPS AND YOU FAIL AT PUSH-UPS!! PUSH-UPS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY!! WHAT IS THAT STUPID-*** DANCING YOU WERE DOING, ANYWAYS!? WHEN THE HELL IS THAT USEFUL!? YOU'RE HURTING MY EARS WITH THAT ******-******* DAN DA MAN ****!! STOP IT, DAN!! STOP IT OR I'LL KILL YOU!!! I SWEAR, SOMEDAY I'LL DO THAT TO YOU SOMEDAY!!! I'LL BEAT YOU SO BAD YOU'LL WISH YOU'D NEVER BEEN BOOOOOOOOORN!!! YOU'RE NOT A MAN, EITHER!! YOU'RE A BOOOOOY!!!! A PITIFUL, PITIFUL BOOOOOY!!!!"

 

"Waaaaaugh!" He took offense to that last part. "Hey! Be nice! And besides, I've gotta be ready to fight Mask the Money again!"

 

"ARE ALL HUMANS LIKE YOU!? HUH!? ARE ALL HUMANS AS IGNORANT, STUPID AND OBSESSIVE AS YOU!?!? BECAUSE IF YOU ARE, AFTER I GET NAGA EARTH IS MY NEXT TARGET, ******-******!! BESIDES, THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN WINNING, YOU IGNORANT *******!!!!!"

 

"What's more important than winning? Heck, it's even more important than LIVING and BREATHING and SLICED BREAD!"

 

"YOU'RE A COMPLETE IDIOT, YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE *******!!! YOU HAVE TO LIVE TO WIN!!! YOU HAVE TO BREATHE TO LIVE!!! AND SLICED BREAD IS MUCH MORE USEFUL THAN USING BAKUGAN FOR YOUR OWN -"

 

"I know I have mad skills and I'm WAAAAAY better than Shun and Mask the Money! I'll prove it when I fight him again!"

 

"LISTEN TO YOURSELF!!! YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED THAT YOU ARE A COMPLETE AND UTTER IDIOT!!! ALL YOU CARE ABOUT IS WINNING BAKUGAN, AND YOU DON'T REALIZE THAT YOUR UNIVERSE IS AT STAKE!!! YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME, YOU *******!!! NEVER!!!!!! AND I'LL BE D***** IF YOU LISTEN THIS TIME, BUT I SWEAR ON MY MOTHER'S GRAVE THAT I WILL GET MY REVENGE ON YOU!!! YOU AND YOUR IDIOT WORLD!!!"

 

"That's it!" Dan picked Drago up.

 

"THAT'S ALL THE REVENGE YOU'RE GOING TO GIVE ME!?!? YOU SUCK AT EVERYTHING YOU DO, THINK ABOUT IT!!!"

 

"I'm not putting you down unless you stop dissin' me."

 

"I'M ONLY SAYING THE TRUTH!!! ALL YOU CARE ABOUT IS WINNING AND YOU HARDLY LISTEN TO A THING I SAY!!!"

 

"And from now on, do as I say!"

 

Later that night...

 

"Oh, you're training again! That is SO, like, awesome!"

 

"Yeah, but Drago keeps DISSIN' me!"

 

Only the three girls were onscreen. Yep, most of his friends happened to be girls. Maybe he was homosexual? Julie continued, "Bakugan and people should work together as one! Like in a magical girl series!"

 

"Yeah. He's looking a little grungy." He scrubbed Drago with a toothbrush.

 

"I'M ENDYMIO, I KEEP TELLING YOU!! AND STOP SCRUBBING ME, YOU HAVE ISSUES!! ISSUUUUUUUUUES!!!!!"

 

"That silly Drago!" Julie chuckled.

 

"You're the only one I've heard of with a talking Bakugan!" Runo said.

 

"We were meant to be! Just like peas and carrots, or Hamlet and Juliet, or something!"

 

"I wish my Bakugan were JUST like Drago." She swooned.

 

"You mean you want it to DISS you, yo?"

 

"Yeah! AND I'd go murder Mask the Money with him!"

 

"Hey, has anybody heard any news about that guy?"

 

"Nope. Nothing."

 

"My MAD SKILLZ must've SCARED 'm off."

 

"You're such an idiot, Dan," Runo sighed. "I love you." Julie and Runo squeed. "But really, he had no reason to hide since it was a DRAW."

 

"She's right!" Marucho popped up.

 

"Thank God you're here! I needed a fellow male around these parts! These two are getting annoying!"

 

"Like you're not," Marucho said.

 

"I'm annoying?"

 

"Wh-what about me?" Alice pouted.

 

"You kinda never do anything. Nobody remembers you," Dan said.

 

"Oh."

 

"I concur. And may I also say that I have been listening on you this whole time!"

 

"YOU WERE!?!?" Julie cupped her hands over her mouth in shock! "Why didn't you just...come into the party?"

 

"I don't know. Anywho, I have a speculation about your battle with Mask the Money, Dan. Perhaps Drago's final attack caused the battlefield to be completely and utterly destroyed?"

 

Alice gasped. She did something for once, but it contributed nothing to the show or her bland personality!

 

"Did I miss something?" Julie asked. "Because I heard you talking about Drago releasing power, and destroying the field. Is that -"

 

"Yes, that's all I said."

 

"I KEEP TELLING YOU ****ERS, IT'S ****ING ENDYMIO, NOT ****ING DRAGO!!!!!"

 

"Sorry, Endymio. I will make sure not to call you that in the future. Please forgive me," Marucho begged.

 

"FINALLY someone LISTENS!! GOD please get me back home or at least with that kid Marucho. BECAUSE UNLIKE DAN, HE LISTENS TO ME SOMETIMES!! HEAR THAT!? HEAR THAT, DANIEL!?!? HE LISTENS TO MY NEEDS!! MY NEEDS!!"

 

Ignoring all that Runo said, in an annoying voice, "He had a power level stronger than the field card he was on! Or something!"

 

"ENDYMIO, ******-*******!!!!!"

 

"Huh. Uh, okay. That's good to know." Dan leaned back in his chair.

 

"While you guys are doing whatever you do all day, I'm gonna go and battle Mask the Money."

 

"No! I'm the only person on Earth allowed to fight Mask the Money! If you fight him the world will implode or something!"

 

"You're such an idiot, Dan! My way on the highway!"

 

"WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING!?!? YOU ARE BOTH ANNOYING ************* AND YOU DESERVE TO ROT IN HELL!! AAAUUUUGGGGHHHHHH....."

 

Later that night...

 

Dan wiggled in bed, having a dream that reflected his unhealthy obsession with Bakugan. "Rrrgh...no, Mask...Money...gimme my Bakugan! No! Drago! Give it back, nooo." He wiggled around ferociously, looking quite spastic.

 

Drago opened up, presumably to look at the aurora borealis through a plastic container, but seemingly for no reason. He said aloud to himself, "I hope that idiot Dan can do something useful, because in Vestroia, time is running out."

 

"Shut up, Drago, get back in my hand....." Dan drifted back to sleep.

 

The next morning...

 

In the Crap residence, Dan was, presumably, having breakfast. "Thanks, Dad! OMNOMNOM I'm done, Dad!"

 

"Wait! You've barely finished your Cheeri -"

 

Too late, Dan was already upstairs. "Man," he said, "I don't wanna be late for class. Especially with my 27 straight zeroes..."

 

"Hey, idiot." Drago was speaking from across the room. "Is something troubling you, like your unhealthy obsession with Bakugan?"

 

"Not really."

 

"You're not taking me to school today?"

 

"No, why?"

 

"Well, I just thought it was a nice change from the pace we've been having and...yeah, thanks for leaving me here with Keroro and Tamama. I appreciate their company here, at your house, not at school, not with you."

 

Dan came to a stunning realization. If I don't bring Drago...I'll have no pudding like I did on the first day...!! He picked up Drago and beamed. "On second thought, maybe you'd better come to school with me! You'd better bring that pudding!"

 

"Grrrrr...NNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE GETTING NO - okay, that's it. YOU KNOW WHAT THAT PUDDING WAS!? THAT WAS ****, OKAY? THAT WAS ****. IT WAS **** THAT CAME OUT OF MY *** AND YOU PUT IT IN YOUR ****ING MOUTH AND -" He couldn't help but laugh for a while. "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WERE STUPID ENOUGH TO EAT MY ****! YOU ATE MY ****! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA - seriously, leave me here."

 

"NO WAY, DRAGO!! LET'S GO!! AAAAhahahahaHAAAAAA! Ouch." He hit the closed door, making a loud thump. Even his parents could hear it.

 

Father Figure, who was sitting at the table drinking some coffee, asked, "Is our son getting...too obsessed with Bakugan?"

 

His wife didn't answer. She was in a state of paralysis, laying on the table.

 

"You're right. Dr. M. P. Scoop can wait."

 

In a (not) bonding moment montage...

 

Giant White Mantis screamed "KIAAAAAHH" as he brought one arm down on...something.

 

"Go, Drago!"

 

"The only reason I let myself go to school with you is so that I could unleash my power! I AM NOT DRAGO!! BOOST FRAGGET!!" He spat a Boom Bubble of fire at Fatboy's poor excuse for a non-palette swap. The mantis bounced back onto his shoe.

 

"We won!"

 

At the dinner table, Dan held Drago up to his orange juice cup and poured a drop on him. It stained. "Rrrrrrgh I DO NOT DRINK JUUUUUUUICE!!"

 

In the shower Dan scrubbed the stain off with a toothbrush again. "Rrrrrrgh WHO TOLD YOU TO SCRUB THAT JUICE OFF!?!?"

 

Back at the chatroom, the montage of sorts ended. "Wow, so you and Drago are getting back together, right?" Julie clarified. "Like all of those celebrity pairings! They break up and come back together! Maybe you are one of them LOL!"

 

"Yeah, ever since Drago started seeing things MY way."

 

"I NEVER STARTED SEEING THINGS YOUR WAY!! WE HAVE NOTHING IN COMMON!! NOTHIIIIIIIIING!! THERE ARE NO WORDS FOR WHICH I CAN EXPRESS MY HATE -"

 

"What caused him to change, I wonder? HMMMMMMM....."

 

"Well, you DO have a way with words...a stupid way! OMG your so stupid i luv u!"

 

Marucho, who was just finished swallowing a whole watermelon, interrupted, "Apparently he never changed at all! Just listen to him -"

 

"HMMMMMMMM..." Dan said.

 

"BLEHHHHHHHH..." Julie bleh-ed.

 

"........" Alice said, if that counts as talking.

 

"Everybody ignores us, Endymio..."

 

Runo's box butted in, saying, "I've got BIG NEWS big news."

 

"WHAT IS IT, FOR F***'S SAKE!?!?" Drago was quite irritated.

 

"Ta-da!" In her hands she held a white tiger Bakugan of sorts. "My wish came true really fast!"

 

"You got a Halo Tiger! It's Light-attribute! It has a way with guns!" Alice contributed almost nothing to the conversation yet again.

 

"Let's see it talk! HI. ME DAN. YOU?"

 

"Greetings, human," the tiger thing said. "Why do you insist on using "Hulk speak" when I am fully capable of comprehension of the English language? Just listen to the fancy words I was using! That must prove it, doesn't it?"

 

"Hey! Halo!" Drago wiggled desperately. "This idiot Dan is holding me captive and won't listen to a thing I say! He says I'm "dissing" him but it's the truth! Help!"

 

"AWWWW!" Everyone swooned over the marbles talking.

 

"And she's mine! All mine!" Runo rubbed her against her chin.

 

"Ow! You're crushing me! Please stop! Please, I beg of you! You have so much acne! Ow, your skin feels like sandpaper! I'm getting dented!"

 

"Looks like just because our Bakugan are talking, we're gaining power!"

 

Packing an annoying punch of irritating nerdiness into a single sentence Marucho concurred, "Indeed, I do believe we are swiftly becoming a force to be reckoned with."

 

 

 

Stick around for more Bakugan! SHING!

 

Bakugan Battle Brawlers are back! RAWR!

 

 

 

Dan ran (hey, that rhymes) across the bridge. "I DUNNO WHAT I'VE BEEN BAKUGAN! BATTLE BRAWLERS AND DAN DA MAN! I DUNNO WHAT BAKUGAN SAID! BAKUGAN BATTLE BRAWLERS ARE DAN AND MAN! I DUNNO BAKUGAN ME TOLD, DAN DA MAN AND RUNO ARE BE THE BRAWLERS!"

 

"You're in dreadfully enthusiastically good spirits," Drago said from somewhere. "And that's terrible. Are you sure you should be running on this dotted line?"

 

"Nope! I DUNNO IF BAKUGAN SAID, BUT I DO KNOW DAN DA MAN! IS AWESOME!!!"

 

Suddenly, wind blew. "What's going on...?" asked Drago.

 

"I don't know. Might as well keep joggin'! I DUNNO IF I'VE BAKUGAN! BUT BAKUGAN MAY KNOW, DAN DA MAN! SOUND OFF! ONE, THREE -"

 

A car was speeding toward them! "BEEP BEEEEEE!''

 

Waaaaugh!" He ran the other way, but heard the car crash into something as he did! It went off the railing, just missing the repaired bench. It hit the fountain instead, and water sprayed everywhere. It caused nineteen deaths and twenty-three injuries, thirteen fatal. Miraculously, the driver survived with no injuries. Some were relieved.

 

"The car went off-road trying to miss you." Ricky was standing there as he turned around. "I've come to do battle with you, CRAP. The name's Ricky Boy."

 

"Well, I'm ready. Just say the word!"

 

"There's something dreadfully stupid about that guy Ricky Boy..." Drago warned. "Maybe it's that X on his chin, like somebody didn't like it and drew on it..."

 

"You won't talk so tough when you see that I have...THE DOOM CARD!" He showed the card.

 

DADADOOM! The ox skull featured on the card started to eat him! "Ahahahahaaa!"

 

"Ack! Where'd you get that from!?"

 

"I have my connections."

 

"Connections? Hmmmmmmm.....HMMMMMMMMM...........HHHHHMMMMMMMMMMMMM..........."

 

"HE GOT IT FROM MASK THE MONEY!! YOU HAVEN'T FIGURED IT OUT YET!?!? ******, YOU'RE AN IDIOT, DAN!!"

 

"Oh, he did?"

 

"YOU LISTENED SLIGHTLY FOR ONCE!? GOD I'M SO RELIEVED! IF ONLY YOU'D HAVE DONE THAT EVERY OTHER TIME I TALKED TO YOU I'D -"

 

"Get ready! I'm settin' the field!" Ricky Boy set up the field, which was exactly the same ass the area he fought in with Mask the Money. "Doom Card, Set!" The card dissolved again, and resounded again. He threw a card, which turned into a battlefield.

 

"This card'll double a Pirate's G's! I still haven't figured out what those are!" He tossed his own battlefield.

 

"I like your style. NOT!" He tossed another card, which made a sparkly sort of sound as it expanded. "Now, stand! Robotic Wet One Ultra!" Some sort of combination of a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, a Power Ranger, Ultraman and a watering hose appeared!

 

"His attribute's Wet Ones! Wet Ones dampen fire! I'm weak against it! Why do you only carry one element, Dan!? I KNEW YOU WERE A COMPLETE IDIOT!! YOU'RE TOO DUMB AND COCKY TO LIVE!!!"

 

"Don't worry, we can take him down!" Dan grinned and gave a thumbs-up.

 

"NO WE CAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNN'TTTTTTTTTT....."

 

Dan threw out another field rectangle before ferociously reusing footage and crying, "Bakugan Stand! Birdman!" Making a falcon cry Birdman appeared, in all his glory.

 

Ricky Boy threw down yet another field card. The rules were looking pretty flimsy about now. "Bakugan Stand!" He threw down Wet One Gamera, who coughed out a couple of Wet Ones.

 

"Wha? These rules are flimsier than Yu-Gi-Oh in the first English season! And considering I helped write them I must be awesome!" Dan wiped his nose again. "I'll throw down another face-down and this horrible Bakugan I've never even seen before!"

 

"NO! WAIT! DON'T USE SOMETHING YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT, *******!!"

 

A lion with some red scales and wings behind its white fur appeared and burped. It shook around and did a dance. It was Panja the White Lion Demon!

 

"I'll beat you easy! Bakugan Stand! Aqua Seed!" He threw a seed onto the field, which soon sprouted into a blue knight!

 

"AQUA SEED POWER LEVEL 350 G'S. MUCH MORE POWERFUL THAN BIRDMAN, SINCE HE IS WEAK TO WET ONES."

 

"Here's its ability card! Activate!" Aqua Seed exploded, releasing all of the water Ricky Boy had poured on it yesterday. The massive wave sent all of the Bakugan into Ricky Boy's big mouth!

 

"They got sent to the Doom Dimension," Drago pointed out, though it was kind of obvious.

 

"No way! Even Kimba's demon father!?"

 

"Yeah."

 

"Man, I wanted a backstory on him! Besides, why would Ricky Boy sacrifice his own Bakugan!?"

 

"Doesn't matter HOW you win, as long as you WIN!"

 

"Hey! That's not nice!"

 

Drago exclaimed, "Even idiots have some moral values!"

 

"Well, since I only carry around four of my several marbles at a time, Drago's my last one! GO OUT AND RISK YOUR LIFE!!"

 

Drago emerged from his marble container! "I'M ENDYMIO, YOU MOTHER - AH, SCREW IT!!"

 

"Ability Card, Activate! Boosted Fraggin'!"

 

Drago caught on fire! "POWER BOOST!! NOW TO UNLEASH - wait, I don't want to be powerful."

 

"WHAAAAA!?!? But you're being an idiot, Drago!"

 

"THIS IS FOR ALL THE TIMES YOU'VE BEEN AN IDIOT, DAN!! IT'S TIME YOU LEARNED AND PAYED FOR YOUR SINS!! I DON'T CARE IF I'M GOING TO THE DOOM DIMENSION 'CAUSE IT SOUNDS A WHOLE LOT BETTER THAN THE FORM DIMENSION!! BECAUSE THAT'S WHERE YOU LIVE!!!" He was encased in rock, then broke free from it. It didn't look very COOL or AWESOME because it didn't glow.

 

"POWER LEVEL 340 G'S. IDIOTIC MOVE."

 

"I CALL BAKUGAN BRAWL WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT, RETARD!!!" Aqua Seed poked Drago in the tummy softly with his spear, slowly walked behind him and poked his back, then slowly walked back in front of him. He then proceeded to do what looked like have sexual intercourse with his enemy (for reasons unknown) and was about to stab his throat.

 

Looking hypnotized Ricky Boy moaned, "KILL IT. KILL IT NOW." Suddenly, the field started glowing! Now Drago had 350 G's and Aqua Seed had 340 G's!

 

"WHAT!?!?" Drago screamed. "NNNOOOOOOOOO....." He started glowing and releasing power, about to accidentally slaughter his enemy...

 

The wind started blowing again. "BEEPBEEEEEP....." Another car drove off the ramp to dodge them, landing safely in a lake. There were no injuries.

 

"Dan, your Bakugan Drago didn't use the Ability Card because he KNEW I had a Trap Card down!"

 

"NOOOOO!! THAT'S NOT THE REASOOOOOON!!"

 

"He knew their power levels would be switched!"

 

"So Drago first didn't have any juice, but got pumped at the very end!"

 

"NO!! I KNEW NOTHING OF THIS, YOU -"

 

"If Drago hadn't done that it could've resulted in a draw...or a loss."

 

"Nope, just a loss," Ricky Boy assured.

 

"IT'S ENDYMIO, ******-*******!!! ENDYMIO...******...******....." Drago began to sob.

 

"That Mask the Money guy said all I had to do was win against you and get a million dollars..." Ricky Boy looked sad,

 

"He was just takin' advantage of you is more likely." Even Dan had sense enough to know THAT. Ricky Boy walked away somewhere as Dan said, "What a KILLER MOVE! Let's celebrate!"

 

"YOU WANT TO CELEBRATE ABOUT THAT!?!? IF YOU WERE SOMEONE'S BATTLING SLAVE WOULD YOU CELEBRATE BEING SOMEBODY WHO'S TIRED AND WANTS TO GO TO THE DOOM DIMENSION AND DIE ALREADY SUFFERING FOR ANOTHER DAY IN HIS LONG, LONG LIFE, YOU INCONSIDERATE ************!?!? HUH, LITTLE ************!?!? ANSWER THAT FOR ME, YOU *******!!! WHY DON'T YOU JUST THROW ME INTO THE LAKE, DAN!?!? WHY DONT'CHA!?!?" He sighed. "I'll say this in terms you'll understand. Let's play a game, Dan."

 

"Uh, okay. What;s it called?"

 

"It's called, uhh...Dan Da Man."

 

"I like this game already!"

 

"All you have to do is throw me into the lake over there. That's ALL YOU HAVE TO DO."

 

"Is that how I win? 'Cause I LOVE winning!"

 

"To win, you have to throw me in a lake. Bonus points if you act like you hate me!"

 

"Ooh! BONUS points! I HATE YOU!!" He threw Drago in the lake. "IT'S OVER!!!!! Do I win yet?"

 

Having landed next to the car Drago shouted, "YES!! YOU WON!! THANK GOD YOU BLUBLUBLUB..." He dipped under.

 

 

 

Next time on Bakugan Battle Brawlers!

 

Things just aren't the same without Drago. But hey, I won the game! Then again, that win hits me hard once I face off against a whole new batch of Brawlers, when I learn a few tips from some reused creatures! WIth my cards at my side, just say the word and I'm ready for a battle! There's just one thing missing! Find out what it is on the next episode of Bakugan Battle Brawlers! HINT: it's definitely not Drago!

 

We leave our audience today with...the Bakugan dance.

 

Dooby da doo DEE dooby da doo DEE, dooby dooby doob DEE dooby dooby doob DEE, dooby da dooby doo dee!

 

 

I just posted the whole thing right away.

[Kendo Fish]

[spoiler=Episode Four]One day, all these cards started falling from the sky, like rain, or frogs. Together with my friends on an awesome Twilight forum, we created a FAR-OUT game, and for a while it seemed like harmless nonsensical fun. But on National Bakugan Day when the beasts within started slapfighting, we knew they weren't harmless.

 

My name's Dan. Together with my friends Runo, Marucho, Julie, not to mention (SHUN IS NOT APPEARING IN THIS EPISODE AND DOESN'T DESERVE TO BE MENTIONED -Editor), and Alice, we are...the Bakugan Battle Brawlers!

 

Bakugan! One goal, two worlds!

 

 

 

A, a-a, a-a, TWO worlds COL-LIDE! On the inside! Gone, gone, gone, this is Bakugan!

 

[align=center]Episode Four

The Wrath of Sugarnoid[/align]

 

To further elaborate on last episode's happenings...

 

"To win, you have to throw me in a lake. Bonus points if you act like you hate me!"

 

"Ooh! BONUS points! I HATE YOU!!" He threw Drago in the lake. "IT'S OVER!!!!! Do I win yet?"

 

Having landed next to the car Drago shouted, "YES!! YOU WON!! THANK GOD YOU BLUBLUBLUB..." He dipped under.

 

Later that night...

 

"You're KIDDING!" Alice gasped, saying something mildly interesting for once. "You threw Drago into the river? Is that why you're so grouchy today?"

 

"I always HATED Drago! Nothing grouchy about it! Just HATE!!" Dan screeched.

 

"Don't you think you should go back into the deep, dirty river and get Drago out of there?"

 

"Why would I when I HATE him?"

 

"Think of him as a bully from school. You get into a fight and drown him on accident."

 

"Yeah, but he's a BULLY. YOU DON'T LIKE HIM."

 

"Yeah, but you will forever live with the guilt of drowning a man. Plus, you'd get arrested."

 

"But marbles don't die." He pouted. "It's not even manslaughter."

 

"Guess you never realize what you've got until it's gone," Runo said. "Me and my Halo Tiger are as close as close can be, you know!"

 

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!! YOU HAVE PEACH FUZZ!! SHAVE IT OFF!! SHAVE IT OOOFFFFFFFFF..."

 

Dan was about to tell his pals he was lying about hating Drago when his voice reappeared in his mind!

 

"Bonus points if you act like you hate me!"

 

I wanna keep those bonus points, Dan thought. He rolled onto his bed and groaned, "Who needs Drago? I can buy my pudding at the store."

 

"Don't say that!" Runo said in a whiny voice.

 

"Besides, I have Keroro and Tamama," he mumbled. "Right, guys? GEROGEROGEROTAMATAMATAMADANNYDANNYDANNY-"

 

"Dan, come back!" Marucho cried. "Oh no...he has gone into the deepest depths of his own imagination! He really believes those Keroro Gunsou action figures are talking to him! We GOTTA get him back!"

 

Under the lake...

 

It was still nighttime at Bridge Lake. Underwater, a fish jabbed its lower lip ferociously at Drago, who was sitting on a rock. This ferocious poking made Drago open and scream a scream which sounded something like this, only without the "Dracula" part. It was pretty much the same, though. The fish sucked him into his mouth, then spat him into some sort of current. "WhuwhuWWWOOOOAAAAHHHHH!!!" he cried as he spiraled through it.

 

The next day at school...

 

In the hallway, he met up with Suchi and Akuma. "Hey, Dan, wanna battle?"

 

"NO." He continued walking into the classroom.

 

Dan threw his backpack onto the desk. "I hate Drago THIS MUCH!!!" He looked around, then punched it a couple of times. Before he could stick his tongue out at it and cross his arms, he heard commotion in the corner of the room.

 

"OOOOOOOH AAAAAAH OOOOOOOH AAAAAH," the class moaned, staring at the blue-and-white Sega Station Portable, or SSP. It was an obvious ripoff of the PSP. Sega consoles would never get back into the market.

 

"And then you do THIS and THIS! And then you unlock THIS so you can even do THIS!" Rodney showed off his mad skillz.

 

"Incredible!" Ulysses Barnes stared, completely mesmerized.

 

"Hey, Rodney," Dan said, stepping forward. "I never knew you were into Bakugan."

 

"This isn't Bakugan. And I'm not even into the game. But sure, I have a couple of marbles I could use..." He smirked. Dan backed away, cringing.

 

"You're not ready for Bakugan, huh? It's a MAN'S game. And obviously, you're not, CHICKEN."

 

"I played it once or twice. Not interested. It's so straightforward, I mean...I could basically explain the whole game right now. You add power, your opponent takes away power, you add power, your opponent takes away power, you battle, the one with the most power wins."

 

"Hey! It's much more complex than that! Sometimes your opponent can add power, too."

 

"Well, in reality..." Rodney flicked his hair back and put his elbow on the desk. "Ya see, Bakugan isn't tactical at all. It's all about power levels, really. The Bakugan with the least power are useless compared to others. So in reality, all you need are six marbles of each element. Throw the enemy's weakness out and you win almost every time.

 

"And sure, you could argue that there are Counters and Traps and what-not. but that's also in another game called Yu-Gi-Oh, which has MUCH more strategy by comparison. Monsters in it not only have power, or Attack Points, but also Defense Points, You can hide your monsters until they're attacked. You never know when somebody will thwart your plan, or when they pull out the winning card to end the Duel. It's much more intense."

 

"...Yeah, but does your Yu-Gi-Oh game have marbles?"

 

"No."

 

"Hmph! You just got OWNED!!"

 

"But marbles don't-"

 

"Hey, everyone! Yu-Gi-Oh doesn't have marbles! Let's laugh at him for liking it! HAW HAW!"

 

"You're an idiot!" a short bald kid named Angelo pointed out.

 

"Hey, this guy's reasoning skills are incredible!" Leg Armstrong said in a weird, nasally voice. He had a star on his green jersey. "He could beat you at just about anything!"

 

"Rrrrrgh...HATING DRAGO HAS MADE ME ANGRY!!" Dan growled. "There's one thing you CAN'T beat me at -- BAKUGAN!!"

 

"Why would I want to? What's making me fight you?" Rodney said coolly. "Besides, you're retarded. You hardly stand a chance." He tipped his glasses.

 

"OOH," Martin hissed. "He's badass."

 

"You can fight me anytime, anyplace, and get your CATS handed to ya!" Dan boasted.

 

"OOH," Martin hissed. "He's dumb."

 

"Shut up, you, you...reasonable guy! That's it! If I get bonus points for hating Drago, I get bonus points for hating the WORLD!!" He gave Rodney a little shove.

 

"Uhh...ouch."

 

Everybody gasped! "He's a criminal, I tells ya! A CRIMINAL!!" Cassandra ran around, flailing her arms.

 

"Aw, NOW look what you've done...Super Monkey Ball 4 Extreme Jr. Deluxe Adventure Touch & Roll Banana Blitz Inferno The Next Generation just restarted itself! You should be ashamed of yourself." Rodney glared at him.

 

"Look what you've done!" Stan shouted. "You just messed up his Super Monkey Ball game! How's the monkey supposed to get all the bananas NOW, punk?"

 

"Terrible sportsmanship, man," Leg Armstrong agreed.

 

"I hardly even touched him! It was just a little shove!"

 

"But I loved that monkey so much..." Momochi, the little pink-haired girl in the back, had tears in her eyes.

 

"Gotta go to the bathroom!" Dan rushed out of the room.

 

"...What's he gotta go to the bathroom for?" Leg asked. Everybody collectively shrugged.

 

That evening...

 

It was yet another beautiful sunset. The train was functioning well...again. Dan sat in his chair and started up his computer. This time, the chatboxes WEREN'T on his screen. He opened up the PC version of...Mega Man X7! "Now to fight some Flame Hyenard," he said, smirking. "I can hate Drago but I couldn't hate YOU!" He plugged in an old-fashioned video game controller and started playing.

 

"Hek...Agh...it...it HURTS...Oh, it's YOU that's causing my suffering! Then if I tear you to pieces, the pain will stop!" After hearing Hi-Nard say those raspy lines, Dan was PUMPED to hear him speak again!

 

And then the sound on his computer shut off as the battle started.

 

"Wha...? WHAT A RIPOFF!! Now I AM angry at you, Flame Hyenard!" He slammed his fist on the Sleep Mode button, now enraged. He ran away and tripped onto his bed. "It's even worse than Drago! Wait, what am I saying...? I HATE Drago! A lot!"

 

Wherever Rodney lives...

 

Good, I didn't lose any important data, he thought, turning on Super Monkey Ball 4 Extreme Jr. Deluxe Adventure Touch & Roll Banana Blitz Inferno The Next Generation. Is it so wrong to know so much about a game I don't even like?

 

"Hey," the computer greeted.

 

"WOAH!!" Rodney shook around wildly. "Wasn't expecting THAT. Who are you!?" A bright light emanated from the screen, surrounding everything and anything in its path! "Aah! It's twice as bright through my glasses!"

 

"I...am Mask the Money. Join me and gain ultimate power."

 

"No...I'm too genre-savvy to fall for that one..."

 

"Oh, but you will..."

 

The next day...

 

People walked along the strangely-empty street, jibberjabbering about the crap going on in their daily lives. Dan approached the school posse.

 

"Hey, it's Dan!" Leg pointed out, still wearing his Keroro Gunsou jersey.

 

"THIS oughta be good," Martin the reasonable guy said.

 

"Hey," Dan said loudly, "where's Rodney?"

 

"Oh, he's, uhh...back there." Leg pointed at the far side of the sidewalk with his thumb.

 

"Oh." Dan slowly turned around. Rodney was standing there, looking all emo and stuff. Something else about him looked suspiciously...suspicious. "So Rodney, I-"

 

"LET'S BATTLE RIGHT HERE AND RIGHT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!" Rodney's voice had deepened, his mouth enlarged with smiling rage. Red speed lines flashed in the background, and the animators couldn't help but replay the same static image zooming upwards over and over again for a while.

 

"If you're gonna be that way...come 'n' get it!" Dan smiled and stood there.

 

Rodney sluggishly walked across the street. A car ran over him. He just laid on his face for a second, then slowly got back up with a demented grin.

 

"H-huh!?" He's almost as hard to beat up as me...! Almost!

 

"I'm a chicken if I like Yu-Gi-Oh, huh?" He held a purple gauntlet to Dan's throat and whispered, "I can play your games too."

 

"A-a Bakugantlet!"

 

"That's right," he whispered. "I've had a little deal with Mask the Money recently. Look into my eyes and tell me...is there a difference?"

 

Dan did so. "They look alrightHOly! They're the same shade of blue as...as...Mask the Money's!"

 

"That's right, you pitiful, pitiful fool."

 

"B-b-but...he's the enemy!"

 

"He is no enemy...with these glasses I see the world in a different light. This shade of blue...reflects the sadness and adversity of human life. How we can change that by removing a soul from happiness' delicate balance."

 

"N-no...killing someone won't make it right! Rodney, you have to take those glasses off! Take them off!"

 

"No!" His voice was raised. "Never! I see this world in its true light, and now I see...that we cannot have a perfect world with you in our way, Daniel."

 

"This can't be! I don't deserve..."

 

Rodney stepped back, blue glasses glaring. "Now I kill you...with my marbles. Field Open." As a dumb example of how time stopped, a kid was about to smack a soccer ball out of the goal.

 

Now they were in Sub-Terra, I GUESS. Dan was smiling, for some reason.

 

"And as a perfect world cannot be achieved with you," Rodney said, "it cannot be achieved with your possessions. I set the Doom Card." A purple pulse pulsed through the arena.

 

"Gate Card, Set!" They both threw down Gate Cards, which made a magical sound effect upon landing. They landed from a large height, for some reason.

 

"Bakugan Stand. And I refuse to call out these stupid commands any longer." He tossed a marble rather lightly, though it still landed safely and revealed a huge Marcus knight with a shield and large claw! He tried to stab Dan, who jumped REALLY high in the air and dodged the attack.

 

"What's the data on this thing!?"

 

"FEARRIPPER. POWER LEVEL 320 G'S. NO OTHER DATA AVAILABLE."

 

"What a stupid computer! Gate Card Set! Bakugan Stand!" A large crab appeared on the field, who was only to be known as Crabby Pirate.

 

"Heh. You shouldn't try that with me, Daniel." He set a Gate Card, then lightly tossed out a Giant Black Mantis! Yep, another recolor. "And I activate the Ability Card Marionette."

 

"WRRROOOOOO!!" Purple energy strings appeared on Giant Black Mantis' scythe-arm-things. The tips surrounded the crab, who proceeded to levitate into the air. He was then dropped onto the ground. So much potential awesomeness...wasted!

 

"Oh no...Fat Crab!"

 

FATALITY, a voice echoed.

 

"What was that!?"

 

"Oh, that was just something Masquerade programmed into the Doom card whenever a Bakugan goes to the Doom Dimension."

 

"Oh...well, THAT'LL get annoying fast!"

 

Giant Black Mantis had dealt the finishing blow, knocking Fat Crab into Rodney's enormous mouth! His belly grew quite large for a second, quickly digesting the marble into fluids...and passing it through to the Doom Dimension.

 

"Pirate Gamera Sugarnoid, Stand!"

 

Giant Black Mantis stepped forward. The red palette swap turtle barked. The stage was set to battle. Gamera leaped up and bit it on the neck like the dog he was. They fell backwards and into a pile of dust that suddenly appeared.

 

"I activate Doom Companion." Rodney grinned as the card broke apart and flew into an overhead portal, sparkling. Both of the monsters flew up into it, presumably being brought to the afterlife.

 

"No! Sugarnoid! SUGARNOOOOOOOOOOOOOID!"

 

"Meh." Fearripper shrugged. "Couldn't be helped." He sounded like a bored teenager, surprisingly.

 

"I realized it was time for those two to go to the afterlife. So it is for you, and when I finish battling with these marbles I will kill you the first chance I get. It's the quickest way."

 

"What are you saying!? Murder is bad! Unless it's human euthanizing!"

 

"Then it's humane euthanizing."

 

"Oh, well...that's okay, then. Robotic Pirate Ultra! You're the only marble I have left! Urgh!" He tossed the marble much more lightly than usual. It rolled VERY slowly toward the field. "OHHHHHH..." he said as it came near. Seeing that it barely missed the target, his voice gradually lowered as he said, "Ohhhhhhh." He ran over to the marble, put it in the middle of the field area, and ran away like it was a firework waiting to explode. It exploded...WITH LIIIIIGHT! It became a palette swap! "Ability Card, Activate! Robotic Pirate Ultra Reinforcement!" He ran back over to the Bakugan, put down a card, and ran away like it was an active grenade about to blow. It blew up WITH LIIIIIGHT! The robot became encased in lava. So did Fearripper, only Fearripper was consumed by it and turned back into a marble. What was the use of Robotic Pirate Ultra being encased in lava? Some theorize that it gave Dan something to make fun of Rodney for.

 

"Ha ha! Fatality!"

 

"It doesn't WORK WHEN YOU SAY IT!!!" He sent out the Generic Reaper!

 

Dan gasped. "The reaper!"

 

"YOU," Generic Reaper boomed, "the boy they call Dan. The one who listens to no one. The one who respects not even his precious marbles. The one who give up anything and everything to win. But in the game of life, you are but a loser. One who only seeks victory will time and time again be met with hardship, torture, dread, and GENERAL UNHAPPINESS. For the only way to be truly happy...is to take things as they come to you, to cross bridges when you get to them. And today our bridges intersect yet again, and we tread the same path." His scythe sparkled. "Unfortunately, only one treads one path."

 

That Reinforcement's still got Super Robotic Pirate Ultra's G's boosted, and the Pirate Field Card'll boost his power by 150! That means...uhh...what's that mean again? If only I had Drago! HE'D give me a snappy answer at a time like this! ...Snappy and RUDE!! I HATE Drago! Don't you remember ANYTHING, me!? Dan thought. For some reason, he had to throw out his marble again. "Bakugan Stand! Field Card, Open!"

 

Around the two guys swirled vicious flames. They looked quite...vicious.

 

Fearripper sighed. He didn't have much to do, so he sat cross-legged, laying his head on his hand. He wiggled his fingers.

 

"You haven't learned much from the battle with Mask the Money, have you, Daniel? I'll just use Dimension Pour." He poured water on the flames, which were immediately quenched as they had been before.

 

"I thank you, master, for pouring the elixir of fate on the fires of greed and quenching this boy's thirst for power."

 

"...You're...welcome, Generic Reaper."

 

Dan seemed really surprised! "WHA!?"

 

"SUPER ROBOTIC PIRATE ULTRA POWER LEVEL 360 G'S. GENERIC REAPER POWER LEVEL 370 G'S."

 

"You fool. Your strategy is predictable and basic, focusing on pure power. But why do I care about this?" He pushed his glasses and commanded, "Start the battle."

 

Generic Reaper leaped into the air, weapon behind him, saying, "THE SCYTHE OF VICTORY PREVAILS OVER THE PIRATES OF TYRANNY!! RAAAWR!!" Just as the red robot was about to dodge, Generic Reaper flash stepped behind him and slashed, sending Super Robotic Pirate Ultra deep, deep inside of Rodney's deep, deep tummy.

 

"SUPER ROBOTIC PIRATE ULTRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

 

FATALITY.

 

"I won."

 

Back on Earth, the goalie missed the ball. Why we care about this is unknown.

 

Storm clouds appeared overhead as Rodney said coldly, "I won't kill you if you realize your sins, your wrongs."

 

Dan fell to the asphalt, shaking all over. "I think...I-I think.....I understand."

 

Rodney's eyes widened. "Really?"

 

Tears welled up in Dan's eyes and streamed down his face as he shook. "That card you used...was a Counter Field Card!"

 

"That's not-"

 

"You used it because...BECAUSE YOU KNEW WHAT I WOULD DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" He screamed at the sky as lightning flashed, rain now soaking his clothes. "NOOOOO! NO, NO, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

 

Leg Armstrong looked around, as confused as the other kids were. "Soooo I take it he DIDN'T win that battle."

 

"Good job defeating that...that..." Momochi burst into tears before she could say the word.

 

"It was nothing. He was a fool, and he played ME for a fool." Rodney walked away smiling.

 

"OOH, a double fooly fooly!" Spencer cried. He had unruly curly brown hair and thin, brown eyes, not to mention a cool red headband.

 

Dan sobbed, "I couldn't...I couldn't do...I...I...couldn't do anything to...couldn't...couldn't do anything to...COULDN'T DO ANYTHING TO HELP THEM!!"

 

"He looks crazy," Leg stated.

 

"Yeah," Stupid-Looking Stan agreed.

 

They looked at each other. "...Let's run for it!" Leg ordered, and they all ran away.

 

"I lost Sugarnoid...I lost Super Robotic Pirate Ultra...NO!!" He pounded his fist against the concrete. "NO NO NO!!" He sounded like an argumentative toddler now.

 

"NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-O-o-o....."

 

 

 

Stay tuned for more Bakugan Battle Brawlers! SHING!

 

The Bakugan Battle Brawlers are back! SHING! Battle on!

 

 

 

Dan walked down the rainy road, thinking about the battle. "Man, I'm such a jerk. I shouldn't have gotten angry at Drago, even if it was for bonus points. I shouldn't even have been angry at my computer, or even Mega Man X7, or Flame Hyenard. Or...maybe I SHOULD have been angry at Hyenard for being so annoying. Or maybe - wait, now I'm confused! I'm angry at MYSELF now! Wait, what am I saying?

 

"I thought I could just win with brute force..." He thought back to his battle with Ricky Boy.

 

"WHAT!?!?" Drago screamed. "NNNOOOOOOOOO....." He started glowing and releasing power. This time the power wasn't enough, and Drago self-destructed.

 

"What if that had happened!? Well, for starters Drago would have been happy and not in a lake...and a bunch of crap could have been avoided...now I'm even MORE confused! What's right and what's wrong!?

 

"Let's play a game, Dan."

 

"Uh, okay. What;s it called?"

 

"It's called, uhh...Dan Da Man."

 

"I like this game already!"

 

"All you have to do is throw me into the lake over there. That's ALL YOU HAVE TO DO."

 

"Is that how I win? 'Cause I LOVE winning!"

 

"To win, you have to throw me in a lake. Bonus points if you act like you hate me!"

 

"And I just went with it! I let myself win! And I bet Drago's drowning right now, and being eaten or something, just because of me winning! I just cared about my own victory! I wasn't looking out for Drago's life! I didn't even care about Drago!"

 

"Ooh! BONUS points! I HATE YOU!!" He threw Drago in the lake. "IT'S OVER!!!!! Do I win yet?"

 

He gasped. "Drago!!" He stumbled onto the bridge, hopefully not about to do what you think he's doing.

 

Underwater...

 

Drago sat on an undersea rock and talked to himself. "What life is better? Is life undersea really my best option? Could it be the only option? It's so...so boring. Maybe life with Dan was tolerable. Even if he calls me Drago. Even if he likes eating ****. Maybe I just have to take things like they are. Maybe life was better with him. Of course life was better in Vestroia than any of this, but...

 

"What a KILLER MOVE! Let's celebrate!"

 

"He didn't know...he just didn't know..." Drago began to sob.

 

Yes, Dan was doing what you think he's doing. He leaped off the bridge shouting, "DRAGOOOOOO!!" His ankle hit the railing, and he flopped into the water. Idiotically he yelled "Drago! Drago!" as he waded through the murky waters in search of his lost marble.

 

"I've been a bit harsh on Dan...he's a growing boy..."

 

"DRAGO!! DRAGO!!"

 

".....I'm sorry for everything, Dan, wherever you are, playing your...marble games..."

 

"DRAGO!! DRAGO!!! DRA - WAAH!" He tripped on a rock, sending a massive underwater shock wave out to everything in a five-meter radius.

 

Drago heard Dan. "Daniel!"

 

Dan heard Drago. "DRAGO!!" He ran toward the sound!

 

His feet kicked so hard, they swept Drago away on a swift current! "YOU *******, DON'T -- I MEAN, STOP RUNNING, YOU -- YOU DAN!"

 

"NO! DRAGO, COME BACK!! DRAGO!!" He jumped high into the air, scooping up Drago in the nick of time. "DRAGO...Drago...Drago.....hi."

 

Drago quickly opened and cried, "Dan, it's really you! I have to say I'm happy to see you again! Ah, I'll never call you ******* again, I just don't have the heart! Oh, Dan, you have no idea..."

 

The rain immediately stopped, and the clouds immediately cleared. It was what the townspeople called "emotion-weather control," or the EWC system. Now they sat together on the hill overlooking Bridge Lake.

 

"Drago...I'm sorry about everything. I shouldn't have won that time."

 

"And I shouldn't have told you how to win..."

 

"I thought I was your friend, but really I wasn't looking out for you at all. I took you to school when you wanted to stay with the Keronians...I brushed the orange juice stain off of you...I made you drink the orange juice...I did so many other ignorant things! I-I-I-I just don't know how to make it up to you! If there's anything, ANYTHING I can do to make it up to you...just say it right now. Anything."

 

"Okay...I want you to call me Endymio."

 

"You got it, Drago!"

 

"...Wait, you just called me Drago."

 

"I know, that's what you...told me to call you."

 

"I TOLD YOU ENDYMIO, MOTHER --" He sighed and calmed down. "Time, Endymio. It all takes time."

 

"...There's something else I wanted to tell you." He looked towards the romantic sunset, the sky turned beautiful shades of red and yellow.

 

"What is it, Dan?" Drago slowly turned to him, and looked into his milky brown eyes.

 

"I wanted to tell you..."

 

"Yeah?"

 

"I-I-I-I-I-I l-l-l-l-l-l-love.....playing Bakugan."

 

"Oh." He backed off, realizing he'd been leaning on Dan's pant leg.

 

"And I kinda thought that we could-"

 

"Be partners. For however long it takes."

 

"Huh?"

 

"You're not the brightest, that I know, but...I need you. We need each other. I know I've been mean to you in the past, getting you in trouble. I'm sorry about all that."

 

"You...really mean that?"

 

"Of course!" Drago looked to the sunset, looking lost in the dazzling sunlight. "We're both after the same thing. And if we have the same goals, the same ideals...we must be a perfect team." Drago turned to Dan and said:

 

"...will you battle with me?"

 

Dan just looked at Drago for a second. He hadn't expected this to happen. He hadn't known this day would come. To take everything that happened before this day and put it behind them...Drago wasn't at all like the others.

 

It was an offer he couldn't refuse.

 

"Of course! How could I not!?" Dan laughed with joy and relief, and Drago almost seemed to grin.

 

"From now on, as long as we can...we'll be a proper team!" Drago leaped into Dan's arms. In the shining sunset they looked more beautiful than ever. It was the perfect moment for the two of them.

 

Back in Your Town...

 

"Bleebluhblahblahbleebluhbloo..." The Kid Squad was walking down the street, talking about stuff.

 

"Hey, Rodney," Leg asked, "did'ja redo what you did Friday at school?"

 

"Nah." Rodney pushed his glasses further onto his nose. "I don't like Super Monkey Ball 4 Extreme Jr. Deluxe Adventure Touch & Roll Banana Blitz Inferno The Next Generation as much as I like..." He whispered, "MadWorld."

 

Everybody gasped. "But that's an M-rated game!" Stan cried, astonished by his answer.

 

"Hold on, Rodney!" Dan skidded onto the scene!

 

"How'd you get here?" Stupid-Looking An(ne) asked, baffled- and stupid-looking.

 

"That's something you'll never find out, Anne!"

 

An gasped into her hands. He really meant business now!

 

"Rodney, Mask the Money is evil! Haven't you been on the Internet lately!?"

 

"Of course I have, but everyone else is a fool. Just think about it. NOBODY questioned or even investigated the cards falling from the sky. Everyone's intimidated by a guy who plays marbles well. You invented this game, yet you've been beaten multiple times and clueless about certain cards! How pitiful this world is, and how wonderful it can become..."

 

"Hey! Don't call me beaten."

 

Generic Reaper's voice echoed in Rodney's head. Dan is the one who is throwing life out of its delicate balance. He is the greedy hot-blooded fool who uses these Bakugan for his own victory, his own selfish goals. And if we allow him to become the master of the game, this game feared by all on this Earth, all of God's creatures will be at his beck and call. You may be the only sane man left.

 

"Go away, classmates! This is personal." Rodney shooed his chums away. "My Reaper speaks to me, and he tells me what must be true, for I look through a blue-tinted lens! I see the world in a different light, Dan, and you will never understand! Never...unless you try them on." He slowly revealed a pair of glasses from his pocket.

 

An extra pair!

 

"I thought I would spare you once, just once, but this time I will not let you go."

 

"Ha! I've got protection!" He grunted as he tried to pull down his shades (or were they goggles in disguise? Hmm). They wouldn't come down! "Dangit! Fused with my skull."

 

No! the Generic Reaper cried. Subdue him in Sub-Terra. Maybe he will see the world your way, even without the blue-tinted glasses.

 

"...My Reaper, he tells me to defeat you again in Bakugan. That might bring you to your senses."

 

"You're on! Bakugan Field, Open!" Stupid things stopped moving to showcase the AWESOMENESS of the time-stopping AGAIN. They set their cards, Rodney sent out Fearripper, and Dan used Drago -- wait, WHAT THE!? Even though he said Super Robotic Pirate Ultra was his last Bakugan before he got Drago from Bridge Lake, he still has another Bakugan besides Drago that he can use!?

 

"Use caution!" Drago warned.

 

"I hear ya all too well, Drago. He's obviously got a trap set up, but I've got a trick up my OWN sleeve."

 

"Really, now?"

 

He will never learn his lesson! He will never learn the way! Such is the fate of the one who sees through no blue-tinted lens!

 

Rodney threw out his second Giant Black Mantis, and with it came the Marionette ability. Purple stringy things latched onto the opposing Rhino Blaze Demon. This time the strings merely swung the big-winged Rhinozoid over to another Gate Card, where Fearripper was ready to do battle.

 

"Alright!" Fearripper was ecstatic! "Now I get to do something!" The Field Card below them activated, sending dark ripples through the murky and uncertain waters of life, as Generic Reaper would put it.

 

"FEARRIPPER POWER LEVEL INCREASED TO 400 G'S."

 

"Oh no you di-in't...Ability Card, Activate! McAfee Firewall! Fire surrounded Rhino Demon.

 

"FEARRIPPER'S POWER LEVEL DECREASED TO 350 G'S. RHINO DEMON POWER LEVEL STILL LOWER THAN FEARRIPPER'S AT 320 G'S."

 

"That's not good enough." Rodney opened his mouth wide, preparing for Fearripper's fatal blow. Fearripper clawed not at Rhino Demon, but at Rhino Demon's soul. He ripped the fear out of him, and Rhino Demon politely swooped down into Rodney's mouth.

 

FATALITY.

 

"Dan! Be more careful and mindful of your actions!" Drago warned.

 

"I'm being mindful, okay!?"

 

"Bonus points don't matter in the whole scheme of things, Dan! Get ahold of yourself!"

 

"You've got a point there, buddy. Bakugan, Stand!" He'd sent out...Drago!

 

"Just please...call me Endymio."

 

"Understood, Drago!"

 

I don't think I should try that again for a while... Drago sighed out a tiny flame.

 

Not pausing between sentences, the Bakugantlet declared, "GIANT BLACK MANTIS POWER LEVEL 290 G'S DRAGO POWER LEVEL 340 G'S."

 

"Oh, so THERE'S your Drago. Maybe he sees things my way, for maybe he looks through the blue-tinted lens. Tell me, Drago, would you like to see Dan killed off? Or wiped from existence?"

 

"Hmm...tough question, but no."

 

"Huh. Explain."

 

"Dan's an idiot, I know. But you don't kill an autistic kid because he's autistic, do you?"

 

"...YES!!" Rodney's voice deepened again. His pupils turned to slits, his face turned pale, and his eyes...they became the blue-tinted lens! He had no need for the glasses anymore; their vision, their view of the world...had become his. The glasses shattered in an instant, for they knew they had no further purpose in this world...

 

"You've become a complete monster!!" Dan pointed out.

 

"It is not me who is the monster, but this world! It's all an illusion, isn't it? All a figment of someone's imagination? An imaginary world which transcends its own rules and its own laws, its own reality. But it's NOT REALITY!! And I know! I am the only sane man on this whole insane planet! I am the only sane man in this whole insane UNIVERSE!! Everybody takes me for a fool, that they do, but they are the fools themselves, aren't they!?"

 

"No! You're just crazy!" Dan shouted, shaking his head ferociously.

 

"How are YOU so sure YOU'RE not crazy!?"

 

"Well, how are YOU so sure YOU'RE not?"

 

"SHOUTING IS NOT THE SIGN of an INSANE MAN!! HOW WOULD YOU KNOW IF YOU'RE SO INSANE, DANIEL!? HOW!?!?"

 

Drago said, "You haven't considered the possibility that-"

 

"NO! I AM NOT THE CRAZY ONE, you CRAZY, CRAZY FOOLS!!"

 

 

 

FOR I SEE THROUGH THE BLUE-TINTED LENS!!

AND FOREVER I WILL STAY

THE ONLY SANE MAN

WITH THE ONLY SANE WAY!

I SEE THROUGH BLUE-TINTED LENS!!

IT IS NOT ONE OF SORROW

IT IS ONE OF THINGS TO COME

AND WHAT WILL BE TOMORROW!!

 

[align=center]I see through blue-tinted lens

O 'tis one full of dread

But maybe if I stay this way

This will all be in my head

 

I see through the blue-tinted lens

O 'tis one full of dread

But maybe if I stay this way

One day I'll wake in bed

This will all be in my head

And I will have been the only sane man...

THE ONLY SANE MAN!!

And I will be proud of how I saw through

The blue-tinted lens![/align]

 

 

 

That was beautiful... Drago sniffled, actually feeling sorry for Rodney now. But I can't just let him win. Who knows what he'd do next? Who knows what Mask the Money would do with him?

 

"...And now I must finish the battle I have declared." Rodney was suddenly calm again, though his voice was still deep. "Fearripper will battle you."

 

"FEARRIPPER POWER LEVEL 400 G'S."

 

"I hope you've got backup, Dan!" Drago yelled. "I can't really predict things like this, y'know!"

 

"Don't worry, Drago! Gate Card, Open! Intersect!" The Field Card started glowing!

 

No! NO! I didn't prepare for this move! Now he's confident! Now I'll never be able to give him the glasses... Rodney clenched his fists.

 

A wiggly multicolored jail cell formed around Fearripper. "That ougtha keep you from brawling!" Dan cheerily said.

 

"What's your strategy, Dan? Waiting on the right card, or something?"

 

"Just watch! Bakugan, Stand!" Giant Red Mantis appeared in front of Giant Black Mantis! Apparently he forgot about TWO marbles the first time he battled Rodney. "Your turn to battle! And since he's a palette swap, he comes power-packed with the same exact Ability Card! Marionette!"

 

"NOOOOOOOOOM!" Red energy strings came out of the scythe-things and surrounded Fearripper! "Go to the same Field Card as that other mantis!" The strings moved Fearripper to the card stated.

 

"No! You can't treat me like your rag doll! Because I'm highly-"

 

BLOOOOOOOOOOSSSHHHHHHHHHH!

 

"What was THAT!?" Drago flew out of a giant smoke cloud and turned back into a marble, or something. We're not sure.

 

"I researched stuff on DA NET."

 

Drago gapsed. "DA NET? You seriously call it DA NET!?"

 

"Of course! Using my net-surfin' Blackberry I found some interesting info on Bakugan tactics!"

 

"Have you been using any of said tactics?"

 

"...No, not really, but I found out something about Mine Goats. Anyways, I figured it had something to do with this, and I took my chances."

 

"OHH. So the way I see it is that he was going to use Mantis as a sacrifice, but you triggered the card somehow so you could use the Mine Goats! Or something? Is that right?"

 

"Uhh...yeah."

 

"You're an idiot savant, Dan."

 

"Thanks. What's that?"

 

"I'll tell ya later."

 

"Okay. AAANYWAYS, I personally think Bakugan is way more strategic than Yu-Gi-Oh. It lets you stop attacks, plan ahead of time, set cards in advance..."

 

"Uhh, I think both games have that."

 

"Oh." Dan looked around. "Well!"

 

I can hardly believe it! So many loopholes even I can't quite understand! I may not be crazy but...I think I'm going...I might be going...a little mad... Rodney went on with the game. "Go, my Reaper!"

 

"I smite you with the scythe of RIGHTEOUSNESS!!" Generic Reaper growled upon being stood, or whatever the term is. He pushed Giant Red Mantis into Rodney's mouth. By the looks of it, Rodney was either enjoying the taste or indeed mad.

 

FATALITY.

 

"Well! That leaves us with one Bakugan each, doesn't it, Rodney?"

 

"OF COURSE IT DOES, DON'T TELL ME WHAT I ALREADY KNOW!!"

 

"He's really irritable, Dan, and crazy. Don't try talking to him too much!"

 

"Alright, Drago, what would his next card be..." Dan snapped his fingers. "Dimension Pour!"

 

"Either that's deductive reasoning or lucky guess. Lucky guess?"

 

"Meh. Kinda sorta both. Mask the Money only used two or three cards, and those were Dimension Pour and Bubble Dimension, plus the Doom card, of course."

 

"So as long as you don't use an Ability or Field Card, you'll win, is basically what you're saying."

 

"No, just as long as I don't use a Field Card. My deductive guessing is always right!"

 

He'll learn someday...

 

"Gate Card, Set! Bakugan Stand!" Drago and the Generic Reaper went head-to-head.

 

"This time, I shall take down the dragon which guards the cavern of sorrow, and within it the golden boy of greed," he moaned.

 

"I'll show you golden! Gate Card, Open!" Some fire surrounded the two Bakugan again.

 

"At this point it's either brilliance, or lucky guessing..." Rodney grinned, baring his sharp fangs. How'd they get like that? "I'll win this one, I know it! BECAUSE YOU'RE ALL FOOLS, THAT YOU ARE!! I'll use Dimension Pour!" He poured some liquid onto the flames...but nothing happened.

 

"You've destroyed THAT card, but not my Character Card!"

 

"CHARACTER CARD!? YOU SET THAT!? SUCH A THING EXISTS!?!?"

 

"Well, yeah. I DID help write the rules to this thing..."

 

Rodney stared at the flames in disbelief. Suddenly, the fire grew! "NO!! I POURED OIL ONTO THE FLAMES!! OIL!! HOW DOES THAT EVEN HAPPEN!?!?"

 

Drago make an angry rhinoceros sound as fire spiraled around him, eyes glowing a fearsome green.

 

Green...tinted...lens... Rodney backed away.

 

"DRAGO'S POWER LEVEL DOUBLED TO 680 G'S."

 

"This cannot be...! The victor cannot be the enemy, for no one else is capable of slaying this dragon...unless there is a prophecy, and unless the light shines through the tunnel of-"

 

"I CAN NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ALL OF THOSE BAKUGAN!!!" Flames emanated from Drago's pores. He released his power, and...

 

 

Rodney lost the game.

 

They were back on Earth. Stupid stuff started moving again. Now Rodney was the one who fell to the ground. "Now.....now I'll never get the chance...never another chance..."

 

"Hm!" Dan rubbed his nose. "Guess my nose's runny."

 

"So you won against Rodney, obviously," Spencer said, stepping forward.

 

"Yeah." Leg joined in.

 

I lost...LOST.....lost...and now he's too enthusiastic! He doesn't realize if you stay pessimistic, then someday you'll have no worries...or.....maybe........

 

"Don't take it too harsh, dood." Dan's iPod pumped out a radical rock song as he bent down and put his hand on Rodney's shoulder. "I had a heckuva time battling you, so...maybe we could battle again sometime!"

 

"NO!! Never! never again! It would only bring...bring bad.....memories to mind..."

 

"Just drop all the seriousness next time, okay? Nothing serious about a good game of marbles!"

 

Nothing serious about a good game of marbles...nothing serious about it...nothing serious...nothing.....

 

.....

 

His eyes broke into several white shards with a large CRACK!

 

"Rodney!" Dan instinctively hugged the no-eyed boy, about to cry again.

 

Then...Rodney's eyes regenerated. They were no longer blue; now they were as brown as ever.

 

"RODNEY!!" Dan hugged Rodney tightly, and Rodney couldn't help but hug back.

 

"Dan, I'm sorry! It's not a foolish planet! Autistic people deserve a chance at life! I like Super Monkey Ball more than MadWorld! This world is real! Mask the Money is a cruel and heartless man! I'm not that genre savvy! I don't want to see life through a blue-tinted lens!" Tears streamed down Dan's shoulder.

 

"Aw, cheer up, Rod. Maybe another battle'll cheer ya up."

 

"Another...no! I just need time alone!" He put on a clear pair of glasses and ran away.

 

[align=right]And so ends the tale

of the boy called Rodney

who saw through the blue-tinted lens...[/align]

 

But it was not the end of Mask the Money's tale...

 

Back at Dan's house...

 

"I'm tellin' ya, Drago was DA BEST!"

 

"SHUT UP ABOUT DRAGO BEING DA BEST!!" his chatroom buddies yelled.

 

"But I'm serious!"

 

"You can very well be serious and only mention something once," Marucho muttered.

 

"But thanks to him, I'm ranked 109th! Wait, that's worse than my rank before...but still, he's DA DRAGONOID, YO!!" He started kissing his marble.

 

"HEY!!" Drago opened in his palm. "I might have forgiven you, and we may be battle partners, but you're still stupid, and you're still obsessive. So please, please...stop it."

 

"You got it, Drago!" The marble sniffed.

 

"Who's mah best buddeh? YEU ARE!!"

 

"Dan, I said - please, just - Daniel! Please, just - I have a rash! How does a marble even GET a rash? HEY!! DANIEL!! YOU HAVE PEACH FUZZ!! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!! NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! DAMN YOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUU!!!"

 

 

 

Next time on Bakugan!

 

Uhh...stuff happens! *wipes nose* Seeya there!

 

We leave our audience today with...the Bakugan dance.

 

Dooby da doo DEE dooby da doo DEE, dooby dooby doob DEE dooby dooby doob DEE, dooby da dooby doo dee!

 

Episode Five-Six

[Kendo Fish]

Episode Four = concluded. Yogurt.

[Kendo Fish]

[spoiler=Episode Five]One day, all these cards started falling from the sky, like rain, or frogs. Together with my friends on an awesome Twilight forum, we created a FAR-OUT game, and for a while it seemed like harmless nonsensical fun. But on National Bakugan Day when the beasts within started slapfighting, we knew they weren't harmless.

 

My name's Dan. Together with my friends Runo, Marucho, Julie, not to mention (SHUN IS NOT APPEARING IN THIS EPISODE AND DOESN'T DESERVE TO BE MENTIONED -Editor), and Alice, we are...the Bakugan Battle Brawlers!

 

Bakugan! One goal, two worlds!

 

A, a-a, a-a, TWO worlds COL-LIDE! On the inside! Gone, gone, gone, this is Bakugan!

 

[align=center]Episode Five

Runo SUCKS[/align]

 

Father Figure got a new car. This one was blue!

 

"Hey, honey! Guess what?"

 

His wife sat idly and numbly on the couch.

 

"That's right! We've got a new car, baby!"

 

No reply.

 

"I'll see what Dan thinks. DAN!!" he hollered upstairs.

 

"Sorry Dad too busy!"

 

He laughed. "Heh heh. Kids."

 

"Daniel," Chatroom Buddy Julie sighed, "it's SO nice that you two are back together again. Too bad it wasn't you and me~"

 

"You mean you want to be my battle partner?" Dan tilted his head.

 

"No, I WANNA GET MARRIED!!!!!11!!"

 

"Daah!" Dan backed away.

 

"I'm surprised myself." Runo crossed her arms. "After all, you're a jerk sometimes."

 

"I bet you don't know how to treat your Bakugan well at all! Have you heard Halo Tiger's screeches of agony!?"

 

"Like your Drago's screeches are any more tolerable."

 

"I must admit, she has a very good point - NO NOT THE CHIN NOOOOO-"

 

"Apologies concerning the changing of topic," Marucho said in a whiny voice, "but what of Mask the Money? He threatens us all with a diabolical plot to steal our marbles!"

 

"Yeah! It's not MY fault I lost to him!" Runo pouted.

 

"Actually, it is," Marucho corrected.

 

"Hey, Daniel!"

 

"Father Figure!?" Dan looked frazzled. He swiveled around in his swivel chair to face his smiling father.

 

He laughed. "I'm not upset! I just need you to go over to the BRAND NEW CAR I just bought. Wash it off, test it out, see if it's worth the million dollars I paid for it."

 

"WOAH. Sweet! II get to test it out?"

 

"Of course, son! Anything you like! Go on a joy ride. Just don't crash!" He wiggled his finger and grinned.

 

Gnarly...

 

"Lard chips, LARD chips, eat them up, yum, MINE!!" Dan swerved very dangerously around a sharp corner, sending the blue punch buggy on two wheels for a second. Ladies screamed and got out of the way. Horses whinnied. "Lard chips, LARD chips! VROOOOOM VROOOOOM VROOOOOM VROOOOOM-"

 

"Hey, Dan!"

 

"WAAAAAHH!!!" Daniel screamed like a little girl and made a fast, furious and DANGEROUS turn.

 

Suchi had climbed up over the back of the seat next to him! "Wanna battle!?"

 

"AAAAAH!! AAH, AAAAAH!!" Dan continued stupidly, making the punch buggy swerve left and right on interstate I-47.4

 

Where there's a Suchi, there's an Akuma, and he nearly leaped out from behind Dan and grabbed the steering wheel! "You're driving like an idiot, idiot!" he screamed over the sirens and burning tires.

 

"AAAH! AAAH! AAAAAAHHHHH!!!" The car was headed straight for Cobblestone Park! They turned the buggy back and forth wildly, trying to avoid obstacles and people. They were about to hit the bench, which was STILL under construction!

 

"Slam the brakes! SLAM 'EM!!" Akuma demanded.

 

"WAAAAAUUUGGGHHHH!! DOOOOO IIIIIIIITTT!!" Suchi cried.

 

The car flew off of a hill and blocked out the sun for a second! "WWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA -"

 

The car landed safely in front of the bench.

 

"- AAAAAaaaaahhhhh." The three boys looked at each other.

 

"Battle!?"

 

"NO." Dan got out of the car.

 

"No! Wait! We didn't come all this way just to go on an adventure!"

 

"While I'm here," Dan chimed, locking the car door, "might as well check things out around here!" Akuma and Suchi pounded their fists on the door, and muffled screams could be heard as Dan walked off, ignoring them.

 

In the opposite direction...

 

Some commotion was goin' on by the fountain. Two kids huddled unnervingly close to some blue-haired kid. "Wow," George gasped, "you've got ALL SIX types!" George Kins was a brown-haired guy with glasses. He had a pretty high-pitched voice, almost like Stupid-looking An's only his was kinda sorta masculine.

 

Ningen chuckled, holding a Bakucyllinder, which was a handy marble carrying case. "Yeah, I'm pretty proud of them myself." Some guy slapped the marbles away! "HEY! I just lost my marbles! Wha 'chu do dat fo?"

 

"Maybe because you're NERDS, ya little NERDS." A purple-haired guy was suddenly standing there, wearing a green vest and puffy orange-and-green pants. "Besides, you're too NERDY for THAT CRAP."

 

"Nerdy!?" George Kins stepped forward, fist clenched. "What IS nerdy but a label slapped on by childhood bullies to establish dominance!?"

 

"Yeah!" Leg yelled, still rockin' that Keroro Gunsou jersey. "Why don't you just BEAT IT!?"

 

"Make like an egg and..." Everyone stared at Ningen, who had been singing softly to himself. He looked around, frowned, and stopped.

 

"No, YOU twerps should beat it!"

 

"EEEE!!" They all ran away like little girls, except for Leg Armstrong, who stayed put.

 

"I'm an athlete. You don't scare ME."

 

"I play fencing."

 

"...EEEE!!" Leg, too, ran away.

 

"Yeah, that's right. Go be NERDY somewhere else, ya NERDS."

 

"Hey, kid," a deep, Mask the Money-ey voice moaned.

 

"Huh!?" He turned around and saw a certain man with a horrible fashion sense sitting on a flimsy tree branch. "What's with the costume, freak? Are you dressing up as a FREAK? Because if you are, you're just dressing up as yourself, ya FREAK!!"

 

"My name is - WHA!" The branch snapped in half, and he fell down into the bushes again. He got up, brushed some leaves off and continued, "My name is Mask the Money."

 

"That's nice. Who cares?"

 

"I DO."

 

"Wha!?" He stumbled backward, stunned at the force of his words. Nobody had countered his insults before! NOBODY!!

 

"Seems like you think you're quite the Bakugan brawler, huh?"

 

"N-no! I don't even LIKE Bakugan! It's for third-class nerds!"

 

".....So, are you ready to test your metal, Enma?"

 

He gasped. This freak knows my name...!

 

"I-I don't even KNOW what that expression means! Just have mercy!"

 

"No! Huah!" Mask the Money leaped into the air. He didn't go very far, and fell on his face. "Bakugan Field, Open!"

 

"Wait! I don't even PLAY Bakugan! I just told you, it's for NERDS like YOU!!"

 

"Too bad! Then you automatically lose!"

 

Enma sniffed. He'd never lost at ANYTHING since he was three! He always cheated his way out of everything! But right now he couldn't cheat his way through anything...because the battle had been so quick!

 

"And when it comes to Bakugan," he said with a big silly smile, "I'm deadly serious." He looked around, grabbed a few of the Bakugan scattered around, and ran away.

 

With Runo...

 

"Awwwwwwwww, you CAN'T be SERIOUS!"

 

In the town of Huaraz, Runo sat at a chair in a bar. Unfortunately, she wasn't even drinking wine. The place was nearly empty, and a jolly dirty blond-haired man scrubbed off the countertop singing, "Scrubadubdub! I love to rub!"

 

"Do I HAVE to work here, Dad? Why?" She said, in an annoying nasally tone, "WHYYYYY? I hate being a waitress. It's like the most BORING JOB in the UNIVERSE."

 

Her father replied in a high-pitched Italian voice, "Oh, come on-a, Runo! You know-a these are-a tough-a economic times-a! And besides-a, you're-a perfect for the job-a!"

 

"But they keep tapping my-"

 

"You'll-a get over that! It's-a just-a something EVERYONE has to-a go-a through-a in their life-a. And-a besides-a, it'll prepare ya for the real world-a! On-a television-a, people do that all the time-a!"

 

Runo sighed. "Yeah, whateverrr. But a girl can't get rich when the place is deserted."

 

"Hey-a! It's-a only empty 'cause it's not-a open yet-a! Honey, put up the open sign-a!"

 

"Got it!" Runo's mother gave a thumbs-up, not having any real discernible accent except for perhaps the Fat accent, because she was so FAT. She also had hair a few shades darker than Runo's. "But before I go do that, why don't you describe the scenery some more, Fabio!"

 

"Oh, yeah! There's-a pictures on the wall-a!" He pointed to one in particular of Runo as a baby. She had no nose. "That was-a before you had your nose-a surgery-a! Aren't-a you-a so cute-a?" Another picture was taken looking up Runo's skirt as she winked at the camera. Another had her posing in a business suit, not fully clothed. There was even a Runo doll, which was nearly naked.

 

"I KNOW what the scenery is, Dad!" She exhaled rather loudly. "And why did you put up pictures of me, anyway?"

 

"Ah, well, you know-a how bus-a-ness-a is-a nowadays-a. People won't come-a if-a they don't see a picture of a half-dressed girl-a!"

 

"But why does the half-dressed girl have to be ME!?!?"

 

"Stealing a picture off-a the magazines-a might get me sued-a! You know that-a good and well-a!"

 

"Hey, Runo," her fat mother said, "before the people start coming in, would you go to the Cross-Continental Railway?"

 

"Huh? Why?"

 

"Because I hear at the Cobblestone Park, they're having a special sale on half-dressed paintings of women! You know how your father loves that stuff!" She wiggled her finger!

 

"You know it-a!"

 

"So I get to not work here!?" She was elated!

 

"Yes, but if ya don't get back here by six you won't be getting your allowance~!" her fat mother sang.

 

"Okay! Seeya!" Runo ran away.

 

Later...

 

Runo sat quietly on the Cross-Continental Railway for approximately five minutes. She got on at Huaraz, Peru and got off at Your Town, Japan. She came to the Cobblestone Park, in which the southern section was having a sale. It was their monthly Buy Stuff at the Plaza event, and it paid for damages caused by idiots like Dan.

 

"I hate liver kabobs, liver kabobs..."

 

"Lard chips, LARD chips!"

 

"I hate liver kabobs, liver kabobs..."

 

"Lard chips, LARD chips!"

 

"I hate - AAAH!" Dan and Runo bumped into each other, but the collision couldn't be seen through the blinding flash that came with it.

 

"Runo...!" Dan said.

 

"Dan...!" Runo said.

 

"Why are we saying each other's names like this...?" Dan asked.

 

"I don't know...!" she replied.

 

"So...do ya live around here?"

 

"No, of course not! I live in Peru! Didn't you listen when I said that?"

 

"So you took the CCR. Heh, we finally meet!"

 

"Yeah, duh...after talking online for so long..."

 

"So.....yyyyyeeeaaaahhhhh. What now? My nose is runny. Don't take too long deciding!"

 

Runo stood up and held a marble painfully between her pointer and middle fingers. "Let's...have...a battle...!"

 

"Right now?"

 

"Nah. I'll meet you at...hmm...five o' clock back here, by the Sock Stand."

 

"Okay. See you then! Lard chips, LARD chips!" Dan skipped away. "Man, I should've taken the car. That'd be so SWEET!"

 

"He has a CAR!?" Runo looked down at her feet. "Hey! It's...Dan's...Bakupod...!" On the ground was what looked like a watch. In reality it was that thing that gave Bakugan stats whenever one played Bakugan. "He's...got...a message...!"

 

Onscreen, Mask the Money's dumb mug popped up! "Hey, Dan CRAP, it's Mask the Money here with a little message for you. Well, actually, it's a BIG message for you. Meet me at the river today, about three this afternoon. And come alone...if you know what builds strong bones. Oh, wait I mean good for you!" The message ended.

 

"I just hate that guy!" Runo's face enlarged at the sight of him. "Someone's got to stop him! Someone SMART! And Dan...isn't smart.

 

 

 

Bakugan Battle Brawlers will be right back! SHING!

 

And now, back to Bakugan Battle Brawlers! RAWR!

 

 

 

"Aw, man, I'm late for my afternoon meal! I've GOTTA be! It's -- NOTHING o' CLOCK!?!? WHAT'S THE WORLD COMING TO!?!? Oh, wait, I'm just missing my -- MISSING my BAKUPOD!?!? I've GOTTA go BACK and GET it!" He ran back to where he was before and looked around. "Aw, man, where'd it go?" He snapped his fingers. "MAYBE the floor was wet, and the Bakupod slipped into somebody's shoe! I've just gotta look for a square heel! ...Oh, wait, they might have walked away already. Maybe Runo has it, but...Runo's not here! That Tsundere!"

 

At Bridge Lake...

 

A guitar finished playing its tune as we cut to Runo again. She was standing on the rocky path below Lake Bridge, across from Enma.

 

"Who're you, ya FREAK!? I'm not here to battle YOU, ya FREAK!" Enma shouted.

 

Her mouth turned hilariously square-shaped as she said, "The name's Runo, and I'm-a gonna take you down! Darnit, I'm getting the accent now, too!"

 

"HA!! I'm not supposed to be fighting a LAMER like YOU, ya FREAK."

 

"Dan's the lamer."

 

Enma's mouth slowly opened and his eyes slowly widened.

 

"But who cares about Dan? You gonna battle or what, FREAK!?"

 

"N-n-nobody calls me a-a-a THAT'S IT!! Whether I become a nerd like you or not, I'm gonna battle you anyways...and WIN, because you're MORE of a nerd, you NERD!!"

 

Dan was looking over at the lake from atop Lake Bridge. "If only I'd brought some money with me. THEN I'd be able to buy some SOCKS! All I can do for now is look at the polluted waters and-" He looked down and saw Runo and Enma! "Omigosh! It's Runo! RUNO!!" He tripped on the railing as he jumped down.

 

"Bakugan Field, Open!" Dan got sucked into the void as he fell.

 

"Heh." Enma smirked. "It's only the two of us now. Now to tie you up and-"

 

"Runo!" Dan appeared behind her!

 

"WWWHHHHHAAAAAAAAAA!?!?" Enma backed away. "B-but you're the - and who am - w-who am I battling!? I'm so confused!"

 

"What're you doing here, Dan!?" Runo demanded an answer.

 

"Well, I was wondering if you had my Bakupod-"

 

"Is THIS it?" She held out his Bakupod as the Final Fantasy victory fanfare played in the background. Dan held his hands out in surprise, as if he'd been playing Peekaboo with someone's baby, and the music abruptly ended when he snatched the watch out of her hand. "HEY!! That was nice music!"

 

"Yeah, but I got a message."

 

"Hey, Dan CRAP, it's Mask the Money here with a little message for you. Well, actually, it's a BIG message for you. meet me at the river today, about three this afternoon. And come alone...if you know what builds strong bones. Oh, wait I mean good for you!" The message ended.

 

"Wait...if YOU'RE not Mask the Money, then..." He gasped. "I'M SUPPOSED TO BE FIGHTING RUNO!?!?"

 

"No, you dummy! I'M supposed to be fighting THIS guy Enma!"

 

"You are? Okay." He didn't question anything, not even why Runo noticed he had a new message.

 

"Gate Card, Set! Bleahh!" They threw their cards like frisbees.

 

"Doom Card, Set!" Enma set the infamous Doom card.

 

"Everything rides on you, Sugarnoid...Bakugan Stand!" Runo threw down Chaos Gamera Sugarnoid! All of the Gameras were also Sugarnoid, except for Wet One Gamera. He was the original. "So Dan, whaddaya think of my opening move?"

 

"Not bad, I GUESS, but I know from experience that the Sugarnoids pretty much suck."

 

"They don't have wrath?"

 

"Uh, well, they have THAT, but..."

 

"SHUT UP, YA LAMERS!! Bakugan Stand!" At first it looked like he'd summoned a spiraling foam football toy, but it turned out to be Rhino Demon again! He sounded like a hawk, though. "Ability Card, Activate! Let's Do Some Damage!" Some fire appeared under and did nothing to Chaos Gamera Sugarnoid. It spiraled around Rhino Demon.

 

"RHINO DEMON POWER LEVEL INCREASED TO 420 G'S."

 

Rhino Demon shot out supersonic flames, but they didn't do anything.

 

"Then it's my turn! Ability Card, Lightning Shield, Activate!" She threw a card. it turned into a shield around Sugarnoid.

 

"B-but I didn't even declare Bakugan Brawl yet!"

 

"You did now!"

 

"...Oops."

 

Rhino Demon spat out a supersonic pulse of flames again. It blew up on contact with the yellow energy shield, which didn't look at all like lightning. What a misnomer.

 

"RHINO DEMON'S POWER LEVEL DECREASED TO 330 G'S."

 

Rhino Demon proceeded to pick Sugarnoid up and toss him into Enma's mouth. The boy cackled as the Bakugan was sent to the underwor - I mean, the Doom Dimension.

 

FATALITY.

 

"Wow, Runo, you suck!" Dan smiled. "You don't even know what your own cards do!"

 

"YOU'LL PAY FOR SAYING THAT, DAN!!" Runo shook her fist. "But now is not the time for punching."

 

This is bad! I've lost five times in a row, and I'd better win or else I'll lose all my Bakugans! Or is it Bakugan? Ugh! That's one part of the rules we never got straight!

 

"Hey, Runo, are you okay?"

 

"Nyah!"

 

"Daah! You're turning into a nekogal! Or maybe just a neko! For some reason it's cool to call cat people cats! I NEVER UNDERSTOOD THAT!!"

 

"Bakugan Stand!" She summoned Rhinobot! Everything she had besides Halo Tiger was probably a palette swap.

 

"Hey, Runo, why don't you use Halo Tiger already?"

 

"Oh yeah I forgot about that one. Crap!"

 

"Hey, that's my last name!"

 

"GET ON WITH IT!! Gosh, you're all so LAME, you LAMERS! Bakugan Stand!" For some reason he had to throw out Rhino Demon a second time. What a tedious rule. "Ability Card, Activate! Fire Judge!" The card turned into fire, which spun around Rhino Demon. It made him catch on fire, which someone made him stronger.

 

"RHINO DEMON POWER LEVEL INCREASED TO 430 G'S. RHINOBOT DOESN'T DO A **** THING."

 

"But my Ability Card does! Windy City!" Some wind blew by, nulling the effect.

 

"ABILITY CARD NEUTRALIZED. RHINO DEMON POWER LEVEL DECREASED TO 330 G'S."

 

"Heh. Nice try, ya LAMERS!"

 

"He's wrong, Runo!"

 

"You mean it was a GREAT move!? Thanks, Dan-"

 

"No, I meant it was a horrible move. Girls SUCK at Bakugan! YOU suck at Bakugan! Hey, everyone! Runo SUCKS!!"

 

"Hey! It's not MY fault I suck so much!"

 

"Actually, it is."

 

"Grrrrr," was all she could say in response.

 

"Utilize me!" Halo Tiger spoke up, suddenly sitting on her head.

 

"No!" Runo said, mouth cat-like.

 

"Runo, you sound enthusiastic! DANGEROUSLY enthusiastic. Runo su-ucks! Runo su-ucks!" he taunted.

 

Even Enma joined in. "Runo su-ucks! Runo su-ucks!"

 

"I don't suck! Gate Card, Open!" The synthesizer from Reading Rainbow began to play as Rhinobot turned into wiggly lines. "Now his power level becomes that of my Halo Tiger!"

 

"RHINOBOT POWER INCREASE TO 340 G'S. THAT IS SERIOUSLY THE STRONGEST THING SHE HAS. WOW. RUNO SUCKS."

 

Rhino Demon swooped down on Rhinobot, but then he got punched by a massive but slow fist! He turned back into a marble and went away somewhere.

 

"I win!"

 

"Shut up. You didn't win the whole battle, there's still a tiebreaker. To make things dramatic there's ALWAYS a tiebreaker!"

 

"I'm just getting started!" She threw out another Gate Card.

 

"Really? Getting started two-thirds into the game? Wow, Runo SUCKS."

 

"You be quiet! It's a figure of speech."

 

"Rrrrrgh SHUT UP YA LAMERRRRRRRS!!"

 

"Bakugan Stand!" Runo threw her Rhinobot onto the field...AGAIN.

 

"Bakugan Stand!" He summoned - *gasp* - Panja the White Lion Demon!

 

"Where'd you get MY old Bakugan!?" Dan was stunned and appalled at the same time!

 

"Got it out of the Doom Dimension."

 

"Wait - ah - but - Drago said -"

 

"Yeah, well, Drago's a NERD."

 

"Uhh...well, so are you!"

 

"Uhh, well...YOU'RE A LAMER!!"

 

"I can't just stand here and take that! Runo, get revenge for me!"

 

"No! I'm getting my own revenge!"

 

Enma continued, "Ability Card, Activate! McAfee Firewall!" He threw out a common card. "Can't fight fire with fire, ya LAMERS! Because LAME stands for FIRE!!"

 

"Then since YOU use Pirates," Dan inquired, "are YOU a lamer?"

 

"Rrrgh I AM NOT A LAMERRRRRRRR!!!"

 

"Man he's good!" Dan stumbled backward.

 

"Virus, Activate!"

 

The synthesizer played again. As Panja pounced, time slowed and soon froze, the two glowing bright yellow.

 

"SENSING POWER LEVEL CHANGE. RHINOBOT POWER LEVEL INCREASED TO 360 G'S."

 

Rhinobot delivered a powerful uppercut and Panja apparently died again.

 

"So the match is over...I lost...hey, how come that LAME Game Over Yeah song isn't playing?"

 

"BECAUSE WE'RE PLAYING ANOTHER ROUND!!"

 

"Uhhhh...did Mask the Money say so?"

 

"Yeah!"

 

"Oh, okay. So that...WASN'T...a tiebreaker.....oh." He looked around. "Well, just go, ya LAMER."

 

"It's all up to you yet again, Rhinobot! Bakugan Stand!" The crowd sighed. Rhinobot AGAIN.

 

"Bakugan Stand!" He sent out Deerripper, Fearripper's seafaring cousin! "Now, rip her deer apart!"

 

"Meh! Feh!" Deerripper started slashing the light that just appeared in front of him!

 

"Hey! Stop that! You're a lamer, Deerripper, you know that, ya LAMER?"

 

"Shut up!" he whined. "She activated some sort of Ability Card, I guess!"

 

"We're supposed to be battling! You're a lamer, Runo! Just like the rest of 'em!"

 

"You're right!"

 

"...You think you're a lamer? HA!! I win."

 

"No. I'm not battling because I don't have to!"

 

"So that WAS a tiebreaker? Or what? I'm all confused now. GREAT, now you're even MORE of a lamer!"

 

"I'm tired of losing my Bakugan to you guys. It's supposed to be a game. You know, the type you play."

 

"Then why'd you accept the challenge? Hmph! Such a LAMER." He crossed his arms.

 

"It's supposed to be a game, right, Tiger?"

 

She sighed. "You puny human girls. Always rubbing stuff. Always growing facial hair. Always being abused~"

 

"Saywha?"

 

"Never mind that. Just utilize me!"

 

"No way! But I WILL throw you out onto the field!"

 

"HUNH!?!?"

 

"Bakugan Stand!" She summoned a white tiger with black-and-yellow armor! She was quite mechanical and tubby.

 

"WRAAAAAAAUGH!!" Halo Tiger roared.

 

"Let's brawl!!"

 

Deerripper looked pretty confident in himself, facing off against TWO guys. He danced around a little.

 

"Ready to KICK SOME ***!?" Halo Tiger screeched.

 

"READY FREDDY!!" Like a quarterback, Rhinobot charged forth and grabbed Deerripper by the shoulders. "Springboard, now!"

 

Wait, Dan thought, she had MORE than one Bakugan that could talk ALL ALONG!? What a shyguy.

 

Apparently by "springboard" he meant "attack", and Halo Tiger pounced, baring her shiny silver fangs!

 

"Ability Card, Activate! Crystal Thang!"

 

At Runo's command, Halo Tiger did a little dance, some sparks appeared, and Deerripper died.

 

"...What? No guns?" Dan looked surprised.

 

"What, you thought just because it's Halo Tiger that means it has guns? Save that for Master Chief!" Runo snapped.

 

"...But anyway, that was SWEET!! Nothing like the SUCKY SUCK we got from Runo the last two battles!"

 

"Does that mean I rule!?" She beamed.

 

"...No. Hey, everyone! Runo's MEDIOCRE!!"

 

"YOU LAMERRRRRRRRRRRRRS....."

 

 

Dan and Runo, having completely forgotten Enma, laid down on an uncomfortably steep hill as wind made their hair wiggle in all possible directions.

 

"Well, you taught HIM a lesson."

 

"Yeah, well, I tried my best."

 

"Seriously? So you TRIED to SUCK at first?"

 

"Wha - I DON'T SUCK, DAN!!"

 

"Actually, I hate to be a rudy, but you DO kind of SUCK." Halo Tiger interrupted!

 

"You -- YOU --" She nearly crushed Halo Tiger in her hand!

 

"Ow! OWW!! Please! Stop it!"

 

Runo relaxed her grip. "Well, EVERYONE SUCKS a LITTLE."

 

Dan looked at her, then laughed. "H-hey, you're right! We do kind of suck when ya think about it!"

 

And they laughed and laughed and laughed...

 

"Hey, aren't you supposed to buy something?"

 

Runo looked at her Bakupod. "7:30!?!? But it's so li-"

 

"EWC!" Dan wiggled his finger.

 

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"

 

Later that night, at Dan's house...

 

"LARD CHIPS, LARD CHIPS!!" Dan drove dangerously back home, though he parallel-parked rather well. He opened the door, which had a broken window he didn't seem to notice, and waltzed in.

 

"Dan! Hope you had a long joy ride!" Father Figure greeted him, standing at the doorway for some reason. "Did you give it a good wash, Dan?"

 

"...I totally forgot about that!" Dan actually seemed to care! "Quick, get me a pitcher of water!"

 

Father Figure did so, and Dan ran outside with it. He literally threw the pitcher on top of it. He looked around, shrugged, thought it was clean and walked back inside.

 

"It's clean."

 

"Hm? You sure?"

 

"Yep. Positively."

 

"Hm. Well. I'll just have to give it a check..."

 

Father Figure peeked outside. In the moonlight the blue punch buggy was sparkling with cleanliness! "Huh! It really IS totally clean! Well, I..." He looked back at it. The blue paint was slowly sliding off, and the blue buggy was revealed to be...his old car is disguise! "WHAAAAAAA!? How did this-"

 

Suchi crawled out through the broken window. He was in there the whole time! "Hey, where's Dan? I wanna battle 'im!"

 

Suddenly, the car flipped onto the house, completely crushing his bedroom! With Suchi and Akuma in it!

 

Father Figure fell to his knees and cried, "MY DREAM CAAAAAAAAAAAR!!!"

 

 

 

Next Bakugan Battle Brawlers, me and Runo team up to take on some not-cool guys who think they're cool! Together with Runo, I learn some tips to never ever lose by using some non-counterable counterattacks and combos! Can it possibly end in failure? You'll find out! Trust me, it's not gonna be one-sided! Bakugan Brawl! *wipes nose* Seeya there! RAAAWR!

 

We leave our audience today with...the Bakugan dance.

 

Dooby da doo DEE dooby da doo DEE, dooby dooby doob DEE dooby dooby doob DEE, dooby da dooby doo dee!

---

[spoiler=Episode Six]One day, all these cards started falling from the sky, like rain, or frogs. Together with my friends on an awesome Twilight forum, we created a FAR-OUT game, and for a while it seemed like harmless nonsensical fun. But on National Bakugan Day when the beasts within started slapfighting, we knew they weren't harmless.

 

My name's Dan. Together with my friends Runo, Marucho, Julie, not to mention (SHUN IS NOT APPEARING IN THIS EPISODE AND DOESN'T DESERVE TO BE MENTIONED -Editor), and Alice, we are...the Bakugan Battle Brawlers!

 

Bakugan! One goal, two worlds!

 

 

 

A, a-a, a-a, TWO worlds COL-LIDE! On the inside! Gone, gone, gone, this is Bakugan!

 

[align=center]Episode Six

A Combination Battle[/align]

 

 

 

Dan and Runo were at Six Flags Over Huaraz. It was a very average theme park. Guys in mold and oldy costumes walked around trying to hug people.

 

"I wanna go on the ferris wheel!" Runo begged.

 

"Pffft. Ferris wheels go around and around." He paused for a reaction. "It's BORING."

 

"Then I'll go by myself...POOPYHEAD!!"

 

"Oh, I'M not the POOPYHEAD. A certain girl who goes by the name of RUNO is the POOPYHEAD."

 

"Well, I'm the only one with tickets left. You just ate stuff all day."

 

"Hey! I have a high metabolism. Unlike a certain POOPYHEAD."

 

"I'm not a pooyphead! And if we're going on ANY rides, it'll be the ferris wheel, ya got that!?"

 

"But I bought you a corn dog!"

 

"So? What's your point?"

 

"That's gotta be worth SOMETHING."

 

"And I thanked you by getting you a cookie. I'm going on the ferris wheel and there's nothing you can do about it."

 

"Fine, fine, I'm going...wait! There's something over there!"

 

"A plane?"

 

"No! FLOOOOWERRRRS..." He drooled over a bunch of flowers that appeared on two young magicians' chests. A crowd roared with applause! The two preteens were suddenly in it!

 

"Anybody interested?" the red-haired one of the duo asked. Everyone fell silent. "Well? ANYBODY!?" The crowd didn't make a sound.

 

"OOH PICK ME PICK ME PICK US" Dan and Runo jumped at the chance.

 

"Alright, this guy and this midriff-baring young lady, come on up!" the red-haired magician welcomed.

 

They ran onstage. Runo jumped around, posed, and said, "Ta-da!"

 

Nobody replied. Not even the crickets.

 

"Well," the red-haired magician began, "let's start the first trick!" He laid out a deck of cards on a table. "Pick a card! ANY CARD." His voice grew deep and demonic at the end. Nobody noticed.

 

"Any card, huh..." Dan rubbed his chin. "Hmm...my favorite number's one, but it's also the loneliest one, so since Runo's also here, I'm gonna pick the second one! So I piiiick...THISCARD!" The scene was intense as he picked the card.

 

And there was a twist.

 

Just...guess it. Deep down you know what it is.

 

IT WAS THE DOOM CARD. DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN

 

"The Doom Card!" Runo stated the obvious.

 

"THAT was a TWIST!" Dan backed away in shock.

 

"That's because Mask the money's involved!" Runo backed away, getting into a stupid pose.

 

"Well, duh!"

 

"I'm Ken!" the red-haired one said.

 

"And I'm his brother, Men!" The purple-haired one FINALLY talked.

 

"Waaah!" Dan was shocked. "You're his BROTHER!?!? But I thought you were a girl!"

 

"EVERYONE says that! You, the girl, you must be Runo, that abused girl! And you, the jerk boy, you are Dan CRAP, that Bakugan jerk boy!"

 

"I've got a plan for this battle!" Runo said with her upper lip hanging goofily over her lower one. "I'm deadly serious about this."

 

"Hey, where's da magic?" a deep-voiced man shouted. "Hell, I'm ridin' the Ferris Wheel."

 

"Ready for a combination battle?" Red-haired Ken asked.

 

At the same time Dan and Runo shouted, "A COMBINATION BATTLE!?!?" It was quite stupid.

 

"Quite right," Men said, "a combination battle!"

 

The two kids gasped. "A combination battle!" they repeated.

 

"Well," Dan cried, "whether it's a regular or combination battle, I'm up for it! Ready when you are!" His lips went a little off-sync.

 

"What, we're automatically accepting the challenge!?" Runo was astonished by Dan's overconfidence. "But we can just-"

 

"Bakugan Brawl, Open!" Discarding their noses for a moment, the four marble players disappeared in a puff of light. A roller coaster stopped.

 

Yes, they're ALREADY starting a game.

 

They were in Sub-Terra, apparently, throwing out Field Cards and, of course, the Doom Card. As it was set, evil laughter echoed throughout the field.

 

"What was-" Dan started.

 

"Oh," Ken answered, "that was just something else Mask the Money programmed into the Doom Card."

 

"Oh." They left it at that.

 

"Bakugan Stand!" Men threw out his very ow Super Robotic Pirate Ultra!

 

"There are so many Super Robotic Ultras running around these days!" Dan shouted.

 

"That's right! Field Card, Open! Super Robot Reinforcements!" Fire erupted under Super Robotic Pirate Ultra.

 

"POWER LEVEL INCREASED TO 380 G'S."

 

"What a DUM maneuver!" Dan taunted. "It's just like mine, and I suck! ...But not as much as a certain poopy RUNO!!"

 

"Shut up, I'm not poopy! And besides, WHENEVER your enemy has a weak Bakugan, it's a trap!"

 

"Huh?"

 

"A trap. You know, the one that...traps you."

 

"Traps you?"

 

"You know what trapping is, don't you?"

 

"Huh?"

 

Runo slapped him. "STOP YOUR METAL GEARING!!"

 

"Metal Gearing?" SLAP! "Ow! Aaaanyways, I'll just send out Panja the White Lion Demon!"

 

"Panja? Didn't you say he got eaten a while ago?"

 

"Well, just like there's a lot of humans there's a lot of albino lion demons. Get used to it."

 

"But-"

 

"Bakugan, Stand!" Dan finally sent out Kimba's evil father. He was snarling behind Super Robotic Pirate Ultra! "Oh yeah! Back Attack!"

 

"SUPER ROBOTIC PIRATE ULTRA LOSES ATTACK AND GAINS DEFENSE."

 

"What's that supposed to mean!?" Runo yelled, suddenly in the corner of the screen.

 

"Ability Card, Activate! Marionette!" Ken declared.

 

"It's a trap!"

 

"WHAT was-"

 

"Another thing added to the Doom card."

 

"Oh." Runo stepped back.

 

Anyways, Marionette picked up Panja, moved him a little, then plopped him down in front of Super Robotic Pirate Ultra.

 

"Oh, yeah. When I say Hillshire you say Farms. Hillshire."

 

Everyone stayed silent.

 

"ROBOT PAWNCH!!" The robot pirate delivered a killer blow to Panja! He flew right into Men's mouth.

 

'FATALITY."

 

"Panja! No! PANJAAAAAAAAAA!!"

 

"When I say Hillshire you say Farms. Hillshire."

 

Everyone stared at Men.

 

Catching his Giant Black Mantis (when did HE get there? they wondered), Ken grinned a despicable grin. "You know, your Bakugan could do a great magic show. They make a GREAT vanishing act."

 

"INTO MAH STOMACH!!" Men boomed.

 

"That was a MEAN can o' beans! What's next, green beans?" Dan inquired. "It's horrible!"

 

"No. Next it's string beans. That much is certain."

 

"What are you talking about, Runo? It's obviously baked!"

 

"SHUT, UP!!" their talking Bakugan (or is it Bakugans? The world may never know) screamed in unison. "Just make your move!"

 

"Hm," Runo began. "That Giant Black Mantis he just re-tossed is at power level 350, and Ken's obviously got a trap prepared for us."

 

"He DOES!?"

 

"No duh. There's ALWAYS a trap. Unless the enemy's not stupid."

 

"But Men is stupid!"

 

"Hey!"

 

"Let's fight it anyway! Bakugan Stand!" She summoned a marble. "Ability Card, Activate! Combination of Chaos and Marcus!" From the marble rose Whitesnake, roaring viciously as 80's music played in the background (Jump, to be exact). "When I use this card, Whitesnake gains 100 because his attribute is awesomer than yours!"

 

"WHITESNAKE POWER LEVEL INCREASED TO 400 G'S."

 

"But didn't you say," Dan timidly interrupted, "that he probably had a trap put down?"

 

"Who cares? Just listen to the music."

 

"Okay. Doob, doob, doob, doob, doob da dooby doob, doob doob doob doob..."

 

With the power of one of Van Halen's songs, Whitesnake gained glowing powah! The vortex of rockin' energy swirled and spiraled around him like a bunch of tadpoles. Nothing could stop him now!

 

A nerdy voice said, "That won't help you!"

 

"HUH!?" Runo screamed, looking like a dying old lady.

 

"It's a trap!"

 

"Doubletown!" Men shouted.

 

The music was changed to the Doubletown song. It sounded a lot like Funkytown, only with Doubletown in it and thus completely different. Dan tried to sing along. "Won't you take me to...Doubletown. Won't you take me to...Doubletown. Niiih! I just can't get with this song! It's not hip and happening enough!"

 

Neither could Whitesnake who, at the sound of Doubletown, wilted like a flower.

 

"WHITESNAKE POWER LEVEL DECREASED TO 300 G'S."

 

"Please!" Men did declare. "I bet you've only heard the chorus."

 

"Should've listened to yourself!" Dan taunted.

 

"Should've stopped me!" she retorted.

 

"Runo sucks SO MUCH, she needs someone else to RESTRAIN her SUCKNESS!! Now, who's with me!? Runo su-ucks! Runo su-ucks!"

 

"Dan sucks! DAN sucks!"

 

"Runo sucks SO MUCH, she can't even taunt right! Now, who's with me!? Runo su-ucks! Runo su-ucks!"

 

"You both suck! Mantis, send this snakey into mah tummeh!" Giant Black Mantis smacked the snake into Men's stomach.

 

"FATALITY."

 

"Oh yeah. When I say Hillshire you say Farms. Hillshire."

 

"Snakey! Come back!" Runo whimpered.

 

Opening his mouth really wide Dan shouted, "Smooth move, Runo! You really know how to dish it out!"

 

"You look angry, stop it!"

 

"SHUT, UP!!!" the Bakugans demanded.

 

Men placed a Bakugan in a machine and immediately flung it out for some stupid reason. "Bakugan Stand!" Super Robotic Pirate Ultra appeared again! He also threw a field card. It sounded like a jet plane.

 

"Oh no you don't!" First he threw down a field card. Then he continued, "Bakugan Stand!" He summoned Rhinozoid! "Good ol' Rhinozoid! Nothing beats that!"

 

"RHINOZOID POWER LEVEL 290 G'S."

 

"You've obviously got an ability card to help him out," Men said, "but you're still takin' a chance! Heh heh! This game is so predictable. I love it!"

 

"I'm-a gonna use Fire Stuff!" He threw some fire. It swirled around Rhinozoid like a bunch of tadpoles, or a sack of potatoes. Who knew. "It boosts his gogos by exactly 10! He can also attack anywhere on the field!"

 

"Wait," Runo intervened. "What happens when two guys with the same power level attack each other?"

 

"Hm. Good question. Guess we'll find that out...AFTER THE COMMERCIAL BREAK!!"

 

Nothing happened.

 

"Oh, well. I guess we won't."

 

Ken declared, "Bakugan Stand!" Mark the Centipede appeared. He smiled.

 

"WWWAAAAAAAAH!" Dan screamed, taken aback by this friendly grin.

 

"It's a trap!"

 

"Ability Card, Activate! Pirate versus Marcus!" Above them, a hologram of some fat guy meeting a typical pirate face-to-face hovered.

 

"Never heard of THAT one before. So what, is there a Chaos and Wet Ones matchup?"

 

"Yes."

 

"It can't do NUTHIN against my jungle breath!"

 

"What the--I'm not gonna ask. But in that case, it CAN do SOMETHING! It...makes...your...Rhinozoid...gain...more...power. Ohsh*t."

 

"Not if I can help it! I use my own ability card! Marcus versus Pirate!" Above them, a hologram of a typical pirate meeting some fat guy face-to-face hovered. "It'll make...your...centipede...stronger. OH SH*T!!"

 

"It's all in the cards! AAAhahahahaHAAAAA!!!" Mark the Centipede strangled Rhinozoid, squelching him into a mouth.

 

"FATALITY."

 

"SAURUS COME BAAAAACK!!"

 

"Who's Saurus?" Runo asked.

 

"Haha."

 

"Hmmhmm."

 

"Yeah."

 

Bakugan Battle Brawlers will be right back!

 

The Bakugan Battle Brawlers are back! Battle on! ~Runo

 

Ken said, "Dan, you cannot WIN. You've only got one Bakugan left."

 

"What about ME?" Runo said.

 

"Eh, actually I thought of bringing in Suchi for backup."

 

"QUE!?!?"

 

"Runo, pull something out of your sleeve!"

 

"Uhh..." Runo literally pulled a card out of her hair!

 

"Hey! That's not what I meant!"

 

She threw a field card and cried, "Bakugan Stand! Rhinobot!" The quarterbackin' Rhinobot was summoned! "Yeah! You'll do SO much better than Rhinozoid! Right? RIGHT!?"

 

Silence.

 

Men shouted, "Bakugan Stand! Pirate Caped Crusader!" A knight with a cool cape appeared! Sadly, he was discriminated against rhinos. "Thanks to his discriminating power, he gains power when going against rhinoceroses! Attack!"

 

"BLAH!" Pirate Caped Crusader stumbled forward, wielding a flamin' sword!

 

"IT'S A FREAKIN' TRAP!"

 

"IT DOESN'T SOUND GOOD WHEN YOU SAY IT!! YOO SUCK RUNOOOOOOOOOoooo....."

 

"Triple Battle! Now Dan's gotta throw down a Bakugan!"

 

"All right! Ready to pull off a smooth move?"

 

"Yeah, dawg!"

 

"Frickafrack!"

 

"Outta sight!"

 

"Wicked!"

 

"Radical!"

 

"Let's slam 'em!"

 

"Totally!"

 

"Right, Drago?"

 

"Meh."

 

"Keen! Bakugan Stand!" Dan summoned his old pal Drago! "Ready to kick some glass?"

 

"No."

 

"Groovy!"

 

Pirate Caped Crusader dashed forward once more! "Ah, but I am also discriminated against dragons! Only the caped crusaders may survive!"

 

"Boosted Dragon."

 

He splattered in the flames.

 

More music started up. Dan sang, "We did it! We did it! We did-"

 

"No, you didn't! It's my time to shine!" Ken yelled.

 

"Oh yeah. When I say Hillshire you say Farms. Hillshire."

 

"You're a BUMBLING idiot."

 

"Who said that?" Runo wondered.

 

"Who cares? Bakugan Stand!" After throwin' down a face-down, Ken also threw down...the Reaper!

 

"Aah! The Reaper!"

 

"Don't fear him!" They all stared at Dan. "What? You played Jump."

 

"Huh," Ken said. "Good point."

 

"Dan!" Runo demanded. "You take on the harder, more reapery one! I'll take the easier, more robonic one!"

 

"Yeah! You suck, Runo! That's why you have to take the Pirate!"

 

"Shush!" Rhinobot appeared! "Link Ability, Activate! Dummy of My Memories!"

 

"POWER LEVEL INCREASED TO...DECREASED TO...UHH..."

 

"No other abilities or traps can be activated this brawl!"

 

"Hey!" Drago cried. "That's actually kind of strategic!"

 

"FFFUUUUU-"

 

"Wait." Men put his arm on Ken's shoulder. "I'm the one who taught you Bakugan. I can help you with this."

 

"Actually I'm the one who taught you Bakugan."

 

"Oh."

 

"....."

 

"So we're pretty much-"

 

"Yeah. Screwed."

 

"Uh, yeah."

 

"So, my turn. Bakugan Stand!" A football spiraled into the air! It was Rhino Demon, who sounded like a hawk again!

 

"Just like old times!" Dan smiled blissfully.

 

"What old times?" Runo inquired. "You never told me about any old times! What's been going on between you two!?"

 

"SHUT, UP!!"

 

"Okay, fine, sheesh. Gate Card, Activate!"

 

"Now's my chance!" Ken threw down a face-down and then activated it! "Ability Card, Activate! Backfire!"

 

Chopman appeared and chopped some wood in half! "Chop!" the green inmate exclaimed, and the field cards was exodia obliterated.

 

"Chopman? WHO'S Chopman?" Dan asked earnestly.

 

"That guy," Runo explained.

 

"That? What? Huh?"

 

Runo didn't answer. "Ability Card, Activate! Cut and Savor!" A delicious meat cutlet hovered in mid-air! Then Halo Tiger slashed and clawed and chewed through it! Now the tiger was on the field!

 

"Raaaah!" Halo Tiger roared like a wimpster.

 

"How'd she DOO dat!?" Men questioned.

 

"She used a card," Ken said, giving the obvious answer.

 

"Let's clean house!"

 

Dan stared at her.

 

"What?"

 

"It's just...nobody says "clean house" any more. Cleanin' clocks is all the rage in Japan!"

 

"Cleanin' clocks?" Ken repeated. He laughed himself to tears. "Man. Cleaning clocks. Can you imagine the slang in Asia these days?" He was caught off guard by the impending doom brought upon Men's Bakugan by Rhinobot and Halo Tiger. "OH NO!!"

 

Before he was even hit, Rhino Demon knew he was dead and flew back into Men's hand as if by default. "Not even a cool attack? I'm getting nothing out of this, aren't I?"

 

"Just a pounding! Now it's my turn!" Dan interrupted. "Bakugan Stand! Turn it ooooooonn!" Drago flew onto the scene just like a field card.

 

"Let's get this done quick so we can go on the ferris wheel," Drago said bluntly.

 

"Ha! He's not that smarticle!" Men said.

 

"So," Reaper said, "we meet again, Drago-"

 

"Cut the philosophical **** and let's get on with it."

 

"Let's brawl!" Dan and Men, who was suddenly controlling Reaper now, shouted.

 

Like a giant fighting robot, Drago's wings retracted, a power nobody expected! Then the two...held hands and tried to push the other away! Yeah, that works. "Why-aren't-I-using-my-TEETH!?" Drago grunted.

 

"Here's a better question for the Reaper," Dan cried. "Why do you serve Mask the Money!?"

 

"He gives me everything I want. Eating those who lose in the fight of life is no crime, so long as it is justice that is done."

 

"JUSTICE THIS!! BOOM BUBBLE!!" He spat out an exploding fireball, and the Reaper turned to ashes, or, rather, a marble!

 

"Take that demon to school, Drago!" Runo cheered.

 

"And you call Japan's slang funny!" Dan chuckled. "Seriously! School's good for you, but NOBODY wants their clocks cleaned for them! They'd rather not know what time it is!"

 

"Here! Take this mantis!" Ken gave his brother a marble!

 

"Why can't you use it yourself?"

 

"I'm..." he sniffled, "not cool enough. I had to be taught all these rules by you, Men. I'm not cool enough. NOT COOL ENOUGH!!"

 

"Uh, okay. Field Card Set! Bakugan Stand!" Giant Black Mantis appeared behind Super Robotic Pirate Ultra!

 

"It's powerful!" Runo screamed. "It's got 350 G's!"

 

"Drago's stronger than that! Were you paying attention to that lat battle at all!?"

 

"Yes!" She paused. "No."

 

"And if your Bakugan really is THAT WEAK, then you use a card to help! You really DO suck!"

 

"Like you don't," Runo mumbled. "Gate Card, Set!"

 

"I'll set a gate card, too!" Dan joined in!

 

"Bakugan, Stand!" Rhinobot stood proudly on his new turf.

 

"Bakugan, Stand!" Dan chipped in with a certain Drago.

 

"BOOSTED DRAGON!!"

 

"Nobody told you to attack yet!"

 

"I DO WHAT I ************' WANT!!" Everyone was blown back by a reasonably big explosion.

 

"SUPER ROBOTIC PIRATE ULTRA DEFEATED."

 

"Yeah!" Dan screeched. "Done like dinner!"

 

"Your slang makes no sense!"

 

"Come on, Runo! You don't get it!? Your mom makes, or does, dinner for you! School's good for you! So who's the sucky one now? Oh, wait, I know. It's YOU!!"

 

"Here! Take my Bakugan!" Ken threw all his Bakugan(s, whatever) to his brother Men!

 

"Okay. Bakugan, Stand!" Mark the Centipede smiled at them again.

 

"Lemme guess," Dan began. "You're gonna use...A QUARTET KETTLE CARD!!!!!"

 

"How'd you know!?" Men gasped, awestruck!

 

"I guessed."

 

"Oh."

 

"So WE'LLL activate it instead!"

 

"THAT DOESN'T CHANGE OUR STRATEGY AT ALL!!"

 

"Bakugan, Stand!" Drago nosedived onto the field!

 

"Wait!" Runo said. "What if it doesn't activate!?"

 

"I'll fix that. Quartet Kettle, Activate!" The Quartet Kettle was activated! "Does that answer your question?"

 

"Still! What if it doesn't?"

 

"I believe the rules we five wrote together are set in stone and followed by the entire universe, are they not?"

 

"Can't argue with that, I guess."

 

"BOOSTED DRAGON!!"

 

"I didn't-"

 

"I'M NOT TAKING ORDERS FROM YOU TODAY!!!" Everyone was blown back by a reasonably big explosion. Again.

 

"Now there's just Giant Black Mantis to take care of."

 

YOU MEAN HE WASN'T-"

 

"Don't worry, Drago!" Runo winked, her mouth looking catlike. "Rhinobot''ll take care of this!"

 

"Looks like Men has a trick up his sleeve...LITERALLY!!" From out of his sleeve, Men pulled a card! "Ability Card, Activate! Super Machete!"

 

Giant Black Mantis did a little dance. Suddenly his scythe-arm-things were...well...exactly the same. But he got a power boost and now had a power level of 450 G's!

 

"Dan! We can't win! Drago's only got 440 with Boosted Dragon! And what if Quartet Kettle doesn't-"

 

"It will."

 

"But-"

 

"Just let Drago do this! Bakugan Stand!" Drago had to be re-summoned for some reason. "Let's brawl!"

 

"MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA" Giant Black Mantis slashed wildly at Drago, but kept missing because he had horrible aim. Then he actually scored some hits! But so did Drago!

 

Taking a long pause between shouts Dan cheered, "Come on, Drago. You can do it. Hang in there. Ooh, that's gotta hurt. Keep going. You're unstoppable. Oh, wait, you're losing. What do we do now!? He's almost down for the count! There's nothing we can do! Nothing we can do!! NOTHING-"

 

"YOU REALLY FORGOT ABOUT IT THAT FAST!?!?" Runo slapped Dan in the face. "Quartet Kettle's active! Go, Halo Tiger!"

 

"Rawr, rawr rawr!" A pimped-out tiger ran to his aid!

 

Drago was laying on the ground now! "He only has 10 remaining G's. It's impossible for you to lose. Really, Men's dumb, so yeah."

 

"Saber Savor!" The tiger bit into Giant Black Mantis with her sabers, and then savored. Ken and Men lost, as expected.

 

The roller coaster suddenly swerved off the track. There were 57 casualties and 1000 deaths, 1 of which was one of the mold and oldy costumed guys.

 

Ken and Men both said, "We lost." Then they flung a cape over themselves and disappeared.

 

There was little applause. "What was that, mommy?" a little boy asked his mom.

 

"A very dumb magic show. Now come on, there's better ride than this crap." The crowd of two walked away, having better things to do.

 

"Hey, that's-"

 

"Come on, Dan. We've got a ride to ride. What ride should we go on?"

 

"I thought we settled on the ferris wheel."

 

"Yeah!" Drago squelched from within Dan's pocket.

 

"Aren't you still TOTALLY STOKED about doing something else, like XTreme Mountain?"

 

"No, I think I'll go there next time."

 

"I think I'd rather go there now."

 

"I'm feeling more in the mood for the ferris wheel now, actually."

 

"XTreme Mountain!"

 

"Ferris wheel!"

 

"I'm saying XTreme Mountain!"

 

"And I'm saying YOU'RE A POOPYHEAD!!"

 

"Hey!" Suchi and Akuma popped up from behind! Suchi suggested, "How 'bout that ferris wheel?"

 

"Good idea!" Runo actually agreed.

 

"How about that brawl, Dan?"

 

"Heh heh, of course not!"

 

Hi! Runo here! Next Bakugan Battle Brawlers, a new marble comes to town but he finds out the city is really weird! He hitches a ride on a bird but it isn't all it's cracked up to be! He finds two girls who take Bakugan way too seriously and then they get into a brawl! There's also some giraffes!

 

This is Marucho saying...Bakugan Brawl!

 

We leave our audience today with...the Bakugan dance.

 

Dooby da doo DEE dooby da doo DEE, dooby dooby doob DEE dooby dooby doob DEE, dooby da dooby doo dee!

 

[Weather Report - Stand]

Does anybody else BESIDES me like this?

[Nexev]

I like this even more than sliced bread!

 

I miss Reaper's philosophical crap.

 

Make Preyus the super badass character for giggles. He's about the opposite if I recall.

[Kendo Fish]

Why, thanks, y'all. But no, Preyus is still the dummy guy, unfortunately. The badass is going to have to be, uh, maybe Leg Armstrong.