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"Bloodstained" A Manga Story - Chapter [7] Sent! (Updated)

Blamonchesix

By Blamonchesix
in Creative Writing

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Frozen Judgment Newbie

Frozen Judgment

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Do you absolutely need oslo paper? Printing paper won't work? Well, onto your story. Very interesting. I liked it XD I loved how you made it a graphic novel. The scenes look a lot like a real manga. However, there are a few problems. The story... Even though it's executed extremely well, it's just not that original. It's a lot like Bleach by Tite Kubo. Except with vampires not shinigami. Which makes it even more cliche, no offense. I mean, there's countless vampire stories out there. Though at this point, you can't change it so don't worry to much about it. Just stay away from Tite Kubo's style of writing. This isn't necessarily a bad thing though. Also, I'll talk about the art too. The art is wonderful. I love the backgrounds you do. However, you seem to be struggling with the characters. Particularly the proportions. Everything seems a bit... well, awkward. The face, the torso, and the arms all look like they've been forcefully attached to each other and there are times where they aren't at the right position or size. Also, the wrinkles on your clothes look weird and out of place. It's not very realistic. You did a great job with the shading though. Overall, nice job. Nice character depth and combat.

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Blamonchesix Newbie

Blamonchesix

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Do you absolutely need oslo paper? Printing paper won't work? Well' date=' onto your story. Very interesting. I liked it XD I loved how you made it a graphic novel. The scenes look a lot like a real manga. However, there are a few problems. The story... Even though it's executed extremely well, it's just not that original. It's a lot like Bleach by Tite Kubo. Except with vampires not shinigami. Which makes it even more cliche, no offense. I mean, there's countless vampire stories out there. Though at this point, you can't change it so don't worry to much about it. Just stay away from Tite Kubo's style of writing. This isn't necessarily a bad thing though. Also, I'll talk about the art too. The art is wonderful. I love the backgrounds you do. However, you seem to be struggling with the characters. Particularly the proportions. Everything seems a bit... well, awkward. The face, the torso, and the arms all look like they've been forcefully attached to each other and there are times where they aren't at the right position or size. Also, the wrinkles on your clothes look weird and out of place. It's not very realistic. You did a great job with the shading though. Overall, nice job. Nice character depth and combat.

[/quote']

 

 

Yes, I really need Oslo papers unless there are other papers with a size of 9" x 12". BLEACH? Really? Hmm... well the story is still developing so I'm pretty sure you'll eventually see the true concepts. (^_^) Yeah, a bit cliche in the beginning because I'm making it easy to understand. I have too much terminologies and I haven't explained even 1. I want to go over them little by little.

 

Examples are:

What are Fallens? What do they do?

Why is there a vampire fighting them?

Who is Rain? What are her goals?

Why hasn't the author explained any of this?

Why is the author so lazy?

 

You like the backgrounds? Thanks. (^_^)

The characters are sometimes out of proportion? Well, that's what you get when you try to draw them immediately in pen without guidelines in 5 min or less. XD I try not to take too much time drawing them because their dialogue will instantly disappear from my head.

 

But honestly, thanks. I'll try to improve. Drawing and Writing is really hard for me though. XD

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Frozen Judgment Newbie

Frozen Judgment

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Posted

Do you absolutely need oslo paper? Printing paper won't work? Well' date=' onto your story. Very interesting. I liked it XD I loved how you made it a graphic novel. The scenes look a lot like a real manga. However, there are a few problems. The story... Even though it's executed extremely well, it's just not that original. It's a lot like Bleach by Tite Kubo. Except with vampires not shinigami. Which makes it even more cliche, no offense. I mean, there's countless vampire stories out there. Though at this point, you can't change it so don't worry to much about it. Just stay away from Tite Kubo's style of writing. This isn't necessarily a bad thing though. Also, I'll talk about the art too. The art is wonderful. I love the backgrounds you do. However, you seem to be struggling with the characters. Particularly the proportions. Everything seems a bit... well, awkward. The face, the torso, and the arms all look like they've been forcefully attached to each other and there are times where they aren't at the right position or size. Also, the wrinkles on your clothes look weird and out of place. It's not very realistic. You did a great job with the shading though. Overall, nice job. Nice character depth and combat.

[/quote']

 

 

Yes, I really need Oslo papers unless there are other papers with a size of 9" x 12". BLEACH? Really? Hmm... well the story is still developing so I'm pretty sure you'll eventually see the true concepts. (^_^) Yeah, a bit cliche in the beginning because I'm making it easy to understand. I have too much terminologies and I haven't explained even 1. I want to go over them little by little.

 

Examples are:

What are Fallens? What do they do?

Why is there a vampire fighting them?

Who is Rain? What are her goals?

Why hasn't the author explained any of this?

Why is the author so lazy?

 

You like the backgrounds? Thanks. (^_^)

The characters are sometimes out of proportion? Well, that's what you get when you try to draw them immediately in pen without guidelines in 5 min or less. XD I try not to take too much time drawing them because their dialogue will instantly disappear from my head.

 

But honestly, thanks. I'll try to improve. Drawing and Writing is really hard for me though. XD

 

Well, I suck at backgrounds so I think yours are awesome! Do you know how to edit the pics on computer? You drew those w/o guidelines? O_o Like just straight-up drawing them without taking any steps or anything at all? Amazing. Well, you should at least use a pencil before tracing it with a pen lol xD As for the forgetting thing, how bout writing down the dialogue first so you won't forget? And about the bleach thing... yes. It's sort of like the early episodes where rukia meets ichigo. In this rain meets naru. In bleach hollows attack them shortly after they meet as was with your story. Also, rukia had to use ichigo to beat the hollow and that's the same as rain using naru to seal that halo ring thing. Afterwards, in your story, rain goes to naru's house to spend the night and in bleach, rukia lives with ichigo after she loses her powers. And also, the demons live in a different dimension just like how hollows live in Hueco Mondo and sometimes travel to the human world. But it's still a great story! Keep it up!

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Blamonchesix Newbie

Blamonchesix

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Thanks guys.

 

You all must probably be raging that I haven't posted the chapter.

I'm really pressured at this time so it may take while. (T_T)

 

Anyway, here's a little drawing of Rain.

 

[align=center][spoiler=Rain Vanglin]

 

Can you teach me to play ♥ ?

 

4081680643_8e9d26cf3d.jpg

 

[spoiler=Word of advice]Stop it. Stop what your thinking this minute! XD

 

 

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