Digimon Data Squad X -Chp 3 Prt1 Finished!- [PG-13]

[Ģค๓blє]

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This is my new fanfic, Digimon Data Squad X. I had posted a Character App form a while ago, but this is the real thing! Enjoy Chp. 1!

 

 

[spoiler=Characters]

[spoiler=Daniel Mitzuk]

Name: Daniel Mitzuk

Age: 17

Gender: Male

Appearance: A plain black button up dickies shirt. A pair of jeans with a light blueish color with a couple of white paint splatters. Black sneakers with white and red checkered lacing. His hair is just passed his ears and dark brown. His eyes are brown with an extremely dark brown color near the pupil.

Background: Daniel came from an almost dream family. There was never any trouble or "No this". He got almost anything he wanted if he asked. By 15 he had his own car! Soon he got to spoiled and he would blame anything but himself for bad grades. He quickly realized that this needed to change, he got a job and stopped asking for everything. His job was working at a McDonalds. While taking out the trash one day, he found a Motimon digging through the dumpster for leftovers. Daniel couldn't help but feel bad for it. It was portalled into the Human World all alone, with no one to help it! He picked up the little thing and took it home. Daniel took it home, fed it and let it stay the night than sent it out the door. It just wouldn't leave so he let it stay 1 more night. When Daniel woke up that night, it had digivolved into a Tentomon! He was so suprised, but not only at that; there was a Green and Grey digivice on his nightstand! Obviously, he looked at it and found a message. He opened it, it asked him to join the Digmon Data Squad. He wasn't sure whwat to do, but the Tentomon woke up and pressed the "Yes". They were ported to some sort of base moments later. After that, they were considered members of the DDSX. Daniel nicknamed the Tentomon "Shock". Daniel was now a tamer, and Shock was his partner.

Personality: Daniel is very competitive and loves to watch a good fight. He often is kind to most people and hates being alone. His partner, Shock, is pretty much his best friend.

 

[spoiler=Emily McCoy]

Name: Emily McCoy

Age: 15

Gender: Female

Appearance: A skinny girl with a round face. She has bright blue eyes and bright brown hair which is usually down. She always wears white capris and a pink t-shirt. Her shoes are white nikes with white laces.

Background: [see Roscuro McCoy] Before she met Roscuro, she began taking many computer programming and coding classes. She found out about Digimon from that. After her coding classes she learned how to locate digimon. She located a digimon being closed in on by 3 Champion digimon. Quickly, she rid her motor bike to the scene and scared the Champions away. The digimon, Bleatmon, hopped on her motor bike and they sped away. The two quickly grew as friends. She later joined a DDSX. She nicknamed the Kidmon "Zep". They both joined as Tamer and Partner. After awhile, Zep digivolved into Satyrmon. Now it could digivolve with a tamer!

Personality: She is extremely kind and loves people.

 

[spoiler=Her Digimon line]

(IGNORE THE LEVELS IN THE PIC

 

 

 

[spoiler=Axle Comuteza [Thanks Axle C.]

Name: Axle Comuteza

Age: 17

Gender: Male

Appearance: [spoiler=Appearence]

 

Background:

 

At first, Axle grew up in a normal life living in New York City. 2 parents, 1 older brother, 1 younger sister. Axle's parents were pretty cool, never punishing him or his brother and sister. Axle's brother looked out for Axle, as Axle did for his younger sister. His brother was that of a troublemaker, trying to discover new ways to mess with others. Then, one day, one of his jokes got him involved with the wrong kind of people. No physical harm came of Axle's brother, but he soon became permenently insane, getting himself put into a mental facility. No one know's what happened to him.

 

With his brother gone, Axle needed to learn how to take care of his sister, seeing how his parents began to disappear at times. Axle's sister looked up to him, never thinking Axle would do anything wrong. She was right. Axle never did anything wrong. Atleast, that's what she thought. Soon after Axle's brother was put into a mental facility, Axle began to hear voices. These voices often distracted him, causing him to mess up at times. At first he thought that he was going crazy like his brother, but he soon discovered that the voices he was hearing were that of deceased people.

 

Axle then realized he must be going crazy. He tried to get the voices to stop, but he kept hearing them, and soon, seeing them. The voices got worse, and they began to tell Axle to do horrible things. One day when Axle was 12, after having enough of the voices, he ran. He didn't know where he was running, but it felt like he had ran for awhile, finding himself somehow in an abandoned building. Here, the voices got intense, and the ghosts of mistreated and abused people surrounded Axle. Little did Axle know, his innocent little sister had followed him. The ghosts attacked both Axle and his sister. Axle soon found himself about to pass out, when he caught sight of a figure. A girls figure. With her was a strange creature. He had no idea what it was. Just before he passed out, he heard the words, "It's ok now..."

 

But things weren't ok. When Axle awoke, a year and a half had passed. He had learned that he was comatose, and that his little sister had died that day. His parents weren't around. He soon found out that after the death of his sister, his parents blamed him for it, and had attempted to kill Axle, but were stopped by the same girl that had saved Axle that day. A girl named Mickie.

 

Axle's parents were arrested for attempted homicide, and Mickie became Axle's legal guardian. She taught him about Digimon, and all their strengths and weaknesses. Mickie owned a Digimon by the name of Leomon. Axle learned alot from Mickie, soon finding out that she was a former member of a squad named DATS. Axle didn't open up much, and the only person who he talked to was Mickie, who had acted as an older sister to him, often getting Axle out of trouble, which Axle got himself into a lot. Axle got into a lot of fights, eventually learnign MMA. Then, after 2 years of living with Mickie, Axle finally decided it was time for him to leave, so, in the middle of the night while Mickie was asleep, he did. He left with money that he stole from Mickie and people on the streets. He traveled for along time, going all the way to Tokyo, hoping to find out more about Digimon and has hopes of joining DATS. While in Japan, he came across a creature. Another Digimon. He hid the Digimon in the streets with him. When he finally asked what the Digimon's name is, he replied "DemiMeramon". Axle now currently lives in the streets of Tokyo, constanlty getting into fights and getting into trouble with DemiMeramon.

 

Personality: Axle is the typical street kid. He constantly is getting into fights and getting into trouble. He can come off as mean at times, but in reality, he is pretty nice. He likes to pull prank on others. He gets very defensive when people make fun of him or try to harm those he cares about. He is very protective of his Digimon, DemiMeramon. People tend to worry about him, thinking that he can easily turn on people and become evil.

 

[spoiler=Roscuro McCoy [Thanks Nexev]

Name: Roscuro

Age: 16

Gender: Male

Appearance: Tall, wears a black suit and a bowler cap. He has brown straight hair and glasses.

Background: Roscuro was an orphan from child birth, his parents not wanting him but still being pro life. He as eventually adopted by the McCoy family, a extremely rich family that made their fortune by investing in computers along time ago, (with the deceased Rob McCoy in particular funding a large part of digital exploration and was able to engage in friendly trade even after Kurata's attempted genocide). However the McCoy family already has a heir and Roscuro was raised to be the protector and butler of this person. Said person is Emily McCoy, a young girl with extremely good hacking and programming skills and a empathy for digimon. Emily was worried that people would try to colonize the digital world if it becomes well known and so has Roscuro work for the DATS while secretly trying to find a way to the digital world in order to continue Rob McCoy's trading business. Roscuro is partnered up with a Goblimon whho was a stray digimon that stumbld onto the human world.

Personality: Roscuro cares deeply for digimon and will try to reason with any digimon before battle, he hardly ever loses his temper (opposed to the hot headed nature of his partner). He has a habit of referring to a tamers partner with respect while completely ignoring the tamer. He works diligently for DATS but Emily comes first above all. He maintains a air of professionalism and rarely lets emotions get the best of him (however he often feels the same emotions Goblimon does, making it still possible to tell what he is thinking). He seems to have taken the role of maid in the McCoy house as well, cooking and cleaning as well as gardening (he pretty much does every single chore there is) this has gotten easier as Roscuro managed to hire a large amount of Bakemon into serving the McCoy house.

 

 

 

[spoiler=Chapter 1]

[spoiler=Part One] The alarm clock rang loud enough that most of the neighbors could probably hear it. Daniel shot up from his bed, but somehow Shock remained sleeping. Daniel looked around at the room covered with different odds and ends; ranging from trophies, to devices, and pictures. Shock finally rose from his small bed next to Daniel's. The digimon through his brown sheets from his bed. Daniel glanced over to him with a disapproving look and a "Make your bed." Shock did as told.

 

Emily woke up from her slowly to no alarm. She had some sort of thing with her internal clock that allows her to wake up the time she last thinks of. It was obvious Zep had already had awoken when Emily heard a flush and saw Zep walk out from the bathroom connected to her room. Zep turned to Emily slowly with an innocent smile on his face and small giggle. That was when the smell hit Emily. With lightning-fast reflexes, she shoved her head under the pillow shielding herself from the smell.

 

Axle eyes slowly opened his eyes to see people walking the streets of Tokyo. DemiMeramon was laying in his lap still sleeping. The people walked by exchanging odd glances with Axle, though they were mostly concerned about the digimon. When DemiMeramon finally awoke, Axle pulled out his red and black digivice. He pressed only the "Port" button; it made a small beeping sound. A white light grew around them than dissapeared. There was something where Axle was sitting no longer. The two begin walking around the main lobby, asking everyone walking by where the Food hall was.

 

The usually alarm ring woke up both Roscuro and Goblimon. They both looked at each other with a "Do we have to do it?" look. Roscuro nodded and got up from his bed. He turned around and neatly made the sheets, Goblimon did the same; almost mimicing Roscuro's movements. Goblimon rushed to the wardrobe they shared and pulled his single bowtie from the bottom drawer. He fastened it to his neck and stared up and Roscuro. He walked over and did the same, but put on his suit and tie. The rounded cap he usually wore rested on the edge of the wardrobe, just where he left it. Goblimon jumped up and up again trying to snag it before Roscuro, who took it and put it on his head with ease.

 

Daniel and Shock both traveled out the door and down the stairs to the kitchen. Shock opened the pantry and grabbed two Granola Bars. He pointed to his wrist directly after. Daniel took this as a warning to check the time because they were due to the base in 15 minutes. Happily, Daniel took the Granola Bar, unwrapped it, and began munching. Shock did the same but traveled upstairs. Daniel followed. He walked into his room at the top of the stairs and pulled a Black Button-Up Shirt from his closet, than a pair of blue pants with spattered paint. Of course, he put them both on. As soon as he finished, he grabbed his Digivice and pressed the "Port" button. There was a small beep and a white light grew around them. They both found themselfs at the base.

 

Both Roscuro and Emily followed the same routine. They all ended up meeting one another in the center of the Main Hall, "Well excuse you!" Axel exclaimed rudely as the three ported in sending him back a bit. DemiMeramon just ignored them. "Well, Bleh!" Daniel replied. Both Emily, Roscuro, Zep, Shock and Goblimon seemed to agree with his statement.

"Yeah, Yeah, Yeah" Axel replied mockingly.

"Listen dude, just move along. We didn't ask to scare you enough to wet your pants."

Axel blushed and looked around, "You wouldn't understand..." He slowly walked away with DemiMeramon following. They both found their way to the Briefing Room. Emily peered in the direction were Axel walked to, "Isn't that where we're supposed to go, Roscuro?" Roscuro nodded in teturn. Both Shock and Goblimon seemed to be having a little conversation. Goblimon looked up to Roscuro, "Hey Rossy," This is what Goblimon called Roscuro, "This Tentomon and this tamer are both headed where we are." Roscuro nodded. Daniel also nodded, "So I guess that is the way we should head!" He said happily. The big group of six began walking towards the Briefing Room. The door was cracked and a list hung beside it.

 

Due Today

 

Squad 1294736X (Data Squad X)

Roscuro McCoy + Partner

Emily McCoy + Partner

Axel Comuteza + Partner

Daniel Mitzuk + Partner

 

Roscuro peered over the list, "I see me and Emily on the list. I don't suppose your Daniel," He looked to Daniel, than down to Shock, "and Partner?" He joked. The Tamers all shared a short laugh then entered the Brief Room, and there was the boy and his digimon from earlier, looked as he did before.

 

[spoiler=Part Two]

Mephistomon chuckled. His plan was finally falling into place. The Royal Knights were finally weakened so he could travel freely. The portal to the Human World was almost a perfect idea. The Digimon Data Squad was the only thing he had to deal with. "Mummymon!" He screeched. His bandage covered servant entered the room with his gun at ready.

"Yes, sir!" It replied.

"Go get Gargoylemon, now!"

"Yes, sir!"

 

Mummymon ran through the door and down the hall. Murmurs could be heard and the pitter-patter of footsteps from above. Than a, "Tell him I'll be right down!" could be heard. Mummymon rushed into the room, "Sir, Gar-" Mephistomon interupted, "Yes, yes. I heard." Garoylemon stomped his way down the stone staircase and down the hallway. He entered the room quite dramaticlly with a, "I'm here!"

"Well, it took you long enough!" Mephistomon teased.

 

Gargoylemon sat down in the dark wood chair next to Mephistomon around their also dark wood long table. The chair creeked as he sat down. "Why did you call me down, I was in the middle of something."

"We have something to take care of."

"Go on..."

"Send in LadyDevimon and her troops."

 

"Yes, Mephistomon." Gargoylemon rose from his chair and wondered out from the room and to the living quarters of this dark castle. He walked down the hallway slowly trying to remember which door was LadyDevimon's. When he finally found her room, Room 34, he stretched his arm out and knocked on the door. LadyDevimon answered, "Who is it now..."

"Gargoylemon."

LadyDevimon slowly opened the door, the old hinges screeching. "Yes?"

"Can I come in?"

"Please." Gargoylemon entered. LadyDevimon looked out before shutting the door to be sure no one had noticed Gargoylemon entered. "Well, than. What are you needing?"

 

Gargoylemon looked around everything in her small apartment-like living quarters. She had 3 different DeviDemimon cleaning, each doing a pretty good job of it. There was a desk with various items laying on it. The computer was on and her E-Mail was opened. "Prepare your troops."

"Why?"

"It's time for the first attack."

 

 

 

[spoiler=Chapter 2]

[spoiler=Part One]

Axel spun around on his heels and looked at the group. Really, I have to work with them? Axel thought to himself. DemiMeramon spun around Axel and looked to the group with a sour face. Daniel, Roscuro, Emily and their partners walked to what seemed to be the line they were to wait in, their partners followed. Before anybody in the large group of eight could speak, the creek of the door behind the giant elevated podium infornt of them. A man with a long blue jacket with a Kudamon on his shoulders.

"I think that's" Emily started.

"Commander Sampson..." Roscuro finished with awe. They both stared at him wide eyed.

 

"Well," Commander Sampson started, "Now that you all must know me, we can get started." Shock was unsure of what to do! He had heard about the Commander all of the time and dreamed of meeting him. "You have all enlisted in the Digimon Data Squad," Commander Sampson continued, "Data Squad X. This is brand new squad in which we have just started recruiting. You should all consider yourselfs lucky. You training will begin soon." This was quite vague, everybody expected some huge speech.

 

Roscuro scanned the room quickly, "Will we start anytime soon?" Commander Sampson smiled and looked at the door to the left of his podium. A figure in a long cloak emerged. The hood was pulled over his head and they carried a quiver on their back. They also had a giant leather bag slung over it's shoulder. It gestured it's hand meaning, "Come." It seemed as if the meaning of the gesture rang through their heads. The group followed the hooded figure into the room. The door slammed behind them.

 

The hooded figure spoke in a low, but quiet voice, "These are your weapons..." They dropped the leather bag and the buttons came undone. There was a bow, throwing stars, a dagger, and a whip. "Everybody grab one...." The figure said once again. Daniel picked up the bow and began fiddling with the strings. Roscuro reached in and grabbed the pouch of throwing stars, and began polishing them happily. Emily seemed to take an intrest in the whip, she pulled it out and began whipping it at the wall. Three small marks were now where she hit. Finally, Axel pulling the last item from the bag, the dagger. He looked over the iron hilt and the wonderful ruby at the end. Axel pulled a small red piece of fabric from his pocket and wrapped it around the hilt, it made for a perfect grip; DemiMeramon nodded approvingly.

 

Axel looked up to the mysterious stranger, "I thought the point was to turn the digimon to digi-eggs, not killed them." They nodded walked closer to Axel, who stood his ground. "These," The man, or at least sounded like one said, "are to gain a D.N.A. charge. A D.N.A. charge you can digivolve you digimon partners." They all seemed to under stand. Roscuro seemed to still be polishing the throwing stars until Goblimon pulled at his pants and told him, "You're supposed to be listening." The man turned to Roscuro, than back to Axel, "Do you understand?" Axel nodded.

 

"You will be unable to use these for a while, but I'll start training you on how to use them today." The man suggested. He first walked over to Daniel, "Shoot an arrow at the post over there." The hooded figure pointed to a training dummy that was beaten from years of use. There were large indentations and chunks missing, but it made no difference. Daniel turned his head, "Could I have an arrow?" Daniel asked. The hooded figure sighed, "You must make the arrows yourself, you cannot just buy the arrow!" He hit Daniel lightly over the head. Daniel was still unsure of how to make one with the materials around him. Shock also thought this was quite odd. He noticed a small twig in the bottom of the leather bag. Shock pulled it out and raced over to Daniel, "Try this." As Daniel put it in his hands, the twig became a glowing yellow arrow that glew the same way a lightning bolt would. He smiled, than knocked the arrow, pulled the string back with his first and second finger, and released! Thud! There was now a small twig lodged into the wall, among others.

 

The hooded man moved on to Emily. "Young girl," He started, "I'm sure you know how to work a whip." She nodded and pulled the arm with her whip over her head, and flung it forward. She was off-balance a little so she tumbled over as she did so. There was now a rip in the man's cloak. He chuckled, "In time..." He than looked to Roscuro, "You, must look directly at the target, then throw the star straight up and down." Roscuro tried to do so, but failed. It swayed back and forth until it finally hit the wall. It was a few inches in, and had no other things around it. He turned to Axel, who smiled in return. "Ya, ya." Axel aimed carefully, than threw the knife straight at the dummy. It hit spot on, Axel lit up with a red data charge. "You've got it!" The man cheered.

 

[spoiler=Part Two]

A mischievous grin crossed LadyDevimon's face. This would be the first time in ages that she got to lead an attack. The DemiDevimon cleaning here quarters raced off to another room to warn the others. Gargoylemon nodded, the smile seemed to be enough of an "okay".

As Gargoylemon left, he only said one word, "Good." then headed towards the door. LadyDevimon trotted to the nearby window which had been carved from the thick, stone walls. He crossed her arms and leaned them against the ledge.

"What really is the plan?" She said to herself, "I don't really get why I'm doing this." One of her faithful companion DemiDevimon entered the room. "If I get a living quarters and food I really don't care. Well then, what is DemiDevimon?"

"The troops are ready to head through the gate, mam." The small creature said.

"Okay, I'll be over in a minute."

The DemiDevimon nodded and headed through the same door it entered. The small chatter of about a dozen DemiDevimon could be heard. LadyDevimon head for the same door where the same DemiDevimon was floating. The patio outside was small, but livable. She used this to announce things to the troops usually. Every DemiDevimon outside stood at attention, silent. "The time has come for the first attack!" She screamed. The DemiDevimon all let out a small cheer, "Now take to the skies and port to the human world!" The DemiDevimon did exactly that. They all flew straight up and into the pitch black sky around the castle. A small portal with green swirling numbers and letters appeared. LadyDevimon also flew through this portal.

LadyDevimon and her small group were all ported to a local park. It was in the middle of the night so only the homeless noticed, and since when did anyone believe them. She smiled slightly, then took to the sky once more. The city underneath her looked as if it was the model they used while planning the attack. Gracefully, LadyDevimon glided inbetween buildings and above. She lost a few DemiDevimon as they crashed into buildings, became digi-eggs, then splatted on the ground so far under them. After around a minute, LadyDevimon began her decent towards the Data Squad headquarters, where all of the tamers live together.

"Black Wing!" She shouted. Her left arm glowed black for a second, then was transformed into a red spike. LadyDevimon charged down at the building towards the part where the tamers sleep. A slight SHINK! was heard as Daniel opened his eyes and saw a red spike barely touching his nose. It retracted from the metal walls; Daniel rolled away as soon as the spike left his face area. He quickly jumped off the top bunk and ended up in a small pile on the floor, "Ugh..." He said aloud. Shock was already awake, right by Daniel's side.

"I think it's digimon," Shock said, "From the Digimon World."

Daniel nodded. It seemed Shock was right when he heard murmurs from outside and a spike shot through the wall again. This time it dragged down and cut a large hole in the wall which revealed LadyDevimon and around 10 DemiDevimon on the other side. All of the tamers and partners in this cabin woke up and ran out, all but Axel, Roscuro, Emily, Zep, Goblimon, and DemiMeramon that is. LadyDevimon chuckled at the pitiful courage of the humans.

"Really think you can beat us," She started, "Eh?"

Emily swallowed hard and could barely get out her next sentence, "Y-Yeah, R-R-Right!"

Once again, LadyDevimon chuckled. Her spike returned to being a hand, than she shot an angered look at Emily, "Oh, really?"

Shock reacted without notice, "Super Shocker!" He shot both of his arms out and sparks flew from antennae to antennae. Small swirls of light flew up his small arms and straight at LadyDevimon. She seemed stunned for a second, but then returned to normal. Then, shot charged towards them. Roscuro's intelligence kicked in right then, If that attack stunned her for a second, that would leave time for the rest of us to attack. The whole group ran for their lives, ending up in the completely unpopulated Main Hall. Roscuro said his small observation aloud for the others to here. They all nodded. But first, they must take down the DemiDevimon.

The DemiDevimon next to Lady Devimon smiled than screamed, "Demi Dart!" Two syringes flew from underneath his wings straight at Shock and Zep. Quickly, Shock shot straight up into the air. The glass syringe easily broke on the ground and the green liquid spilled out. The other syringe hit Zep directly in the arm, though he ripped it out instantly. Only a little was injected into him so he felt okay, but not great. Emily picked him up and ran to the Weapons Training room where she had met the hooded man before.

He was in there, legs crossed, fingers in a circular motion, and hood down. He was a Leomon, Emily's jaw dropped instantly, "W-We need help." The Leomon flinched, than stood up quickly. It pulled the hood over it's head and stowed something on the floor into it's cloak, "Stay here." It whispered. Emily did so, with Zep. She had just then noticed that Axel's knife was missing. Was that the item that the mysterious Leomon had stowed in his cloak?

 

 

[spoiler=Chapter 3]

[spoiler=Part One]

 

The hooded Leomon ran from the room and out to the group, "Oh." was the best thing he could say. Axel smiled, as did DemiMeramon.

 

"Hot Tackle!" DemiMeramon cheered. It swiftly shot up words and straight into a DemiDevimon. He sent it flying back, but it recovered seconds after and charged back at DemiMeramon.

 

"Gobli Bomb!" A small bomb flew from Goblimon's hand and under DemiMeramon into the DemiDevimon. It screeched a horrible cry than shattered; the pieces than pulled back to the middle, making a digi-egg. DemiMeramon looked back to Goblimon, who was giving a thumbs up. They both ran into battle destroying DemiDevimon with the same tactic while shot preserved his remaining energy for LadyDevimon. Goblimon and DemiMeramon continued until only LadyDevimon remained. She smiled.

 

"Super Shocker!" Shock exclaimed from behind LadyDevimon, who was suprised by the speed of the small digimon. She fell to the ground unable to move for a couple seconds. DemiMeramon flung it's body towards her with a, "Hot Tackle!" LadyDevimon was hurt little by this. Goblimon repeated his Gobli Bomb attack, which also didn't do much.

 

She screamed, "Darkness Wave!" as she pulled her winged arm around and the silhouette of many black bats with piercing red eyes emerged. They shot past the two knocking them back to their tamers. Roscuro had a worried expression on his face, while Axel gritted his teeth. They repeated this shock attack tactic but it hardly hurt her. Nothing was working. The hood figure jumped straight up into the air from behind Axel and Roscuro, who were now by their injured partner's sides.

 

 

"Fist of Beast King!" He screamed in his deep voice. His furry, clawed fist emerged from the fist for only a split-second and

smashed into LadyDevimon's chest. She shot back into the wall, "Your turn." The man said quietly to Axel. He slid the blade he assigned to Axel, which he had picked up earlier, down his sleeve and held it out. Axel took it and remove the sheath. He carefully lined up with the target, pulled his arm back, and flung the knife at LadyDevimon. She was unaware of the blade being throw until it was logded into her shoulder. The burning pain shot down her arm as Axel gained a large red data charge around him. He pulled his digivice from his pocket.

 

"Digivolve!" He slammed his hand onto the top of the device. The screen lit up and a large white burst of light illuminated around DemiMeramon. As the light faded away, a Meramon shown through the light.

 

"Alright!" Meramon cheered, he could finally digivolve, "Magma Blast!" A small hole appeared and giant glowing red rocks emerged, than shot into her direction. She was crushed underneath the weight, or almost crushed. She flew up weakly, "Is t-"

 

LadyDevimon was stopped mid-sentence when a, "Fire Blast!" was heard and she saw Meramon, a blazing inferno, charging straight at her. The flames trailed behind him as they did in a Back To The Future Movie. He clashed with LadyDevimon and rammed her up against the wall. She screeched until finally, her data scrambled than re-collected as a dark digi-egg.

 

 

Well... After that chunk of writing, I hope someone likes it, Thanks![/align]

[bury the year]

Put a blank line in between each paragraph, then we'll talk.

[Nexev]

Since Roscuro has top billing I don't suppose that he is the group leader?

 

Regardless while I can't see anything too wrong with your work I my suggest adding something suspenseful in the beginning. Perhaps the villains discuss their plot and we wonder what they are talking about? Perhaps Shock has a nightmare related to the digital world.

 

While it makes all the sense in the world for chapter one to be about them meeting, it seems... slower than I am used to.

 

So if you do not want to reveal the plot to early I suggest to reveal a bit mor about each persons life before they meet (you know Ros is tidy from Chapter 1 but you do not know he is the butler of the McCoy household).

 

Also I've been wondering, is the Data squad a job where you live together in the base (like a fireman's) or does Roscuro, Daniel, and Axle live in separate places still. (I personally suggest th former as it allows them to build relationships when they aren't doing thier job).

[Ģค๓blє]

Well... I wasn't exactly done with the chapter just yet. I didn't have enough time to add everything. I will soon though. It will probably lead to the Villians sometime in the chapter.

 

Chp. 1 Part 2 Added!

[The Warden]

Hmm, it is alright. Was kinda glazing over a bit. Interesting idea to use weapons to un;eash data charge. As for villains, eh, ultimates are good starting points. Many choose digimon like Myotismon or Mummymon, possibly NeoDevimon. Mephistomon is an interesting start off I guess.

[Axle C.]

You're off to an ok start. I like the idea for the weapons, and the choice of villians are ok.

I shall wait for more.

btw, at the end of Chapter 2, when you said Roscuro aimed the knife, did you mean Axle?

[Nexev]

I could help you if you want to make some extremely cool weapons.

 

I am like a prodigy at making them.

[Ģค๓blє]

Hmm' date=' it is alright. Was kinda glazing over a bit. Interesting idea to use weapons to un;eash data charge. As for villains, eh, ultimates are good starting points. Many choose digimon like Myotismon or Mummymon, possibly NeoDevimon. Mephistomon is an interesting start off I guess.

[/quote']

 

Ya... I didn't really like those three because it was too simple, it had been outdone (especially in movies), and just plain boring. OMG! another evil vampire.

 

 

 

You're off to an ok start. I like the idea for the weapons' date=' and the choice of villians are ok.

I shall wait for more.

btw, at the end of Chapter 2, when you said Roscuro aimed the knife, did you mean Axle?

[/quote']

 

I should have put Axel, thanks!

[Axle C.]

It's still doing pretty good. I still want you to continue this. Though, I have one thing to say...

 

 

OI, LEOMON, THAT'S MY KNIFE!

[Ģค๓blє]

It's still doing pretty good. I still want you to continue this. Though' date=' I have one thing to say...

 

 

[b']OI, LEOMON, THAT'S MY KNIFE![/b]

 

Yup, yup, yup! I already added part 1 of chp.3, though it was pretty short.

[Axle C.]

You're right. It was pretty short. But I liked it.

Especially since Axle just owned LadyDevimon.

Ah, the joys of knife throwing...

[Ģค๓blє]

Ya, LOL

[Ģค๓blє]

Reviews PLEASE

[Nexev]

The weapons are a awesome idea since it makes the humans more than sideline players.

 

The weapons used are somewhat uncreative but I can make some evolution of the weapons if you wish. I have a habit of doing it and I can assure you my weapons will be original (just tell me the kind of weapon type you want and you will get one)

 

I am thinking of a set of dark tamers who serve Mephistomon, each with thier own goal. I have three so far, one is Axel's brother Loki (Mephisto broke him out, he is as crazy as Kefka or the Joker but Mephistomon is controlling him just enough so that he listens to Mephisto). Father Faith (a priest who belives digimon are monsters and must all be wiped out, thinks his partner MangaAngemon is the exception and Mephistomon is a hidden gift from god sent to help him cleanse the universe), and Lain (He is a man who was a former child solider in Vietnam, he is hired by Mephistomon on the promise that his poor family will be spared and given enough food and money that they will never be poor or hungry for the rest of their lives. His partner is JewelBeemon)

[Ģค๓blє]

I guess that could work... Maybe.

[Axle C.]

So, when do you think part 2 of chapter 3 will be up?

 

 

btw, I like the Axle's brother idea