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ThatPhantomGuy

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I'm planning into making an RP.

The story takes place in probably a land similar to japan or china but magic and magical items is supposed to be invovled (I think i spelled that wrong).

I would request some help with the plot :P If you could correct my grammars and maybe help me make it longer.

 

[spoiler=Plot]

 

Ages ago, An Emperor ruled the 4 nations of Earth, Sky, Shadow and Light.

The land was peaceful, with cherry blossoms growing on the ground. None could complain... Except the bloody Shadow Clan.

The Shadow Clansmen were all greedy and all prepared to rule the nations. One day, the high council of the Shadow Clan arranged an meeting with the emperor about their further plans.

The emperor was highly upset when he heard the evil proposal and ordered the Shadow Clan never to speak in front of him again.

The Shadow council seemed to take no offenese but their true feelings could turn a dragon into dust. When the other nations heard this they became awfully happy because of the Shadow Clan's bloody urge. However, the Shadow Clan wouldn't care about that because the only thing on their mind right now was revenge.

When the emperor entered the throne of justice next to the people of the nations in order to inform them about the news of the Shadow Clan, an arrow covered in flames ripped through the empero'rs chest, and he collapsed, dead, sprawled over the throne room floor.

The nations raged but when the Shadow Clan suddenly attacked with burning flames, the other nations were forced on their knees.

The high council leader of the Shadow Clan walked across the floor and sat down in the throne of justice.

With a few words he spread chaos over the country, but when the other nations tryed to bring down the new emperor, they were thrown out of the country in exile. The nations seperated and build their own country, none however as mighty as the new Shadow Clan's.

An eternal war was about to begin but there was something the Shadow Clan didn't know. The first emperors son were born and the rightful heir of the throne...

 

 

 

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I'm planning into making an RP.

The story takes place in probably a land similar to japan or china but magic and magical items is supposed to be invovled (I think i spelled that wrong).

I would request some help with the plot :P If you could correct my grammars and maybe help me make it longer.

 

[spoiler=Plot]

 

Ages ago' date=' An Emperor ruled the 4 nations of Earth, Sky, Shadow and Light.

The land was peaceful, with cherry blossoms growing on the ground. None could complain... Except the bloody Shadow Clan.

The Shadow Clansmen were all greedy and all prepared to rule the nations. One day, the high council of the Shadow Clan arranged an meeting with the emperor about their further plans.

The emperor was highly upset when he heard the evil proposal and ordered the Shadow Clan never to speak in front of him again.

The Shadow council seemed to take no offenese but their true feelings could turn a dragon into dust. When the other nations heard this they became awfully happy because of the Shadow Clan's bloody urge. However, the Shadow Clan wouldn't care about that because the only thing on their mind right now was revenge.

When the emperor entered the throne of justice next to the people of the nations in order to inform them about the news of the Shadow Clan, an arrow covered in flames ripped through the empero'rs chest, and he collapsed, dead, sprawled over the throne room floor.

The nations raged but when the Shadow Clan suddenly attacked with burning flames, the other nations were forced on their knees.

The high council leader of the Shadow Clan walked across the floor and sat down in the throne of justice.

With a few words he spread chaos over the country, but when the other nations tryed to bring down the new emperor, they were thrown out of the country in exile. The nations seperated and build their own country, none however as mighty as the new Shadow Clan's.

An eternal war was about to begin but there was something the Shadow Clan didn't know. The first emperors son were born and the rightful heir of the throne...[/i']

 

 

 

 

Grammar edits made.

The plot seems a bit... Rushed? =/

I would redo it and show you what I came up with but i'm on a friend's computer now.

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She's being considerate of the fact that not everyone celebrates Christmas and that there are some odd people who take offense to seeing the word Christmas, would be my guess.

No issues with me though, I like Christmas.

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