fenrir Posted December 4, 2009 Report Share Posted December 4, 2009 You need to describe the surroundings better. That, and how did a mortal man kill Death? With a bat? Excuse my jabroni-ness, but last time I checked, a mortal man can't kill death. Or hurt him for that matter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kira Magister Magi Posted December 4, 2009 Report Share Posted December 4, 2009 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/On_a_Pale_Horse Read. It will explain. Also, I'll do that next chapter. I plan to make this story real, whether or not it's published, so comments will be added to the Word document version of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fenrir Posted December 4, 2009 Report Share Posted December 4, 2009 I am tempted to call that a horrible book. Alright, besides that, don't rush the plot forward. You sorta rushed everything without a decent explanation for anything really. (This includes describing pretty much everything.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kira Magister Magi Posted December 4, 2009 Report Share Posted December 4, 2009 It's actually a great book. It is my favorite book of all time. It's fantasy, taking their own sides on mythology and catholisism, therefore, the possible murder of Death. Alright. Noted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Proto Posted December 4, 2009 Report Share Posted December 4, 2009 Meh, I hope that the new thread locking doesn't lead to more flaming then in the Protest Thread before >.>. *has been reading the Roleplay Improvements Thread.* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blake Posted December 4, 2009 Report Share Posted December 4, 2009 *Facepalm* Gah, I leave for 2 hours and this? @Tousen, sorry, samples are needed D: I made Jake do it, even though I knew he could RP. Destron and Kira too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kira Magister Magi Posted December 4, 2009 Report Share Posted December 4, 2009 Gaara-sama, how did you know I could RP? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blake Posted December 4, 2009 Report Share Posted December 4, 2009 I'd seen "Kira the Oltimate Force" in RP's and saw your RPing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatPhantomGuy Posted December 4, 2009 Author Report Share Posted December 4, 2009 Yeah! I did it too! ^^ Even though it wasn't necessary. Ha ha ha! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kira Magister Magi Posted December 4, 2009 Report Share Posted December 4, 2009 You read it yet, Tao-chan? Link is up there somewhere... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blake Posted December 4, 2009 Report Share Posted December 4, 2009 Eactly ^^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kira Magister Magi Posted December 4, 2009 Report Share Posted December 4, 2009 Yay, I was well-known (and apparently good) as an RPer before this club ^^ lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Altαir Posted December 4, 2009 Report Share Posted December 4, 2009 ? Did you have a name before Kira the Ultimate Force? I remember that name and that sig from somewhere... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kira Magister Magi Posted December 4, 2009 Report Share Posted December 4, 2009 I was Kira, .:Lawliet:., and yu-gi-ohfan21. Not sure about anything other than those :/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blake Posted December 4, 2009 Report Share Posted December 4, 2009 Oh! I saw LAwliet right before the name change! XD and Cephus is RRayR. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kira Magister Magi Posted December 4, 2009 Report Share Posted December 4, 2009 Oh yeah! I was also simply Lawliet xD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatPhantomGuy Posted December 4, 2009 Author Report Share Posted December 4, 2009 I read it! It was pretty good, I can't wait for more! ^^ I want to start my fan fic now. . . =3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake the Sage Posted December 4, 2009 Report Share Posted December 4, 2009 lol, well I can't believe I've already got two chapters done already ^^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Altαir Posted December 4, 2009 Report Share Posted December 4, 2009 Oh! I saw LAwliet right before the name change! XD and Cephus is RRayR. RRayR, Golden Light, and Lightmaster3. Those are oldies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatPhantomGuy Posted December 4, 2009 Author Report Share Posted December 4, 2009 Wha-?! Of the SoP Fan Fic?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Altαir Posted December 4, 2009 Report Share Posted December 4, 2009 lol' date=' well I can't believe I've already got two chapters done already ^^[/quote'] Of what? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake the Sage Posted December 4, 2009 Report Share Posted December 4, 2009 The Struggle of Powers Fan-Fic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blake Posted December 4, 2009 Report Share Posted December 4, 2009 SoP fanfic. LOL Make it a real book!!! (I think you could) Name changes: Black => Noir, Red => Rosso, White => Shiro, Samuel => Saul. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Bad Pennar Posted December 4, 2009 Report Share Posted December 4, 2009 Name Changes: Duelist_King_Ryan => :.Death Whisper Ryko.: => Flandre Scarlet Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Altαir Posted December 4, 2009 Report Share Posted December 4, 2009 :.Death Whisper Ryko.:, I miss that name the most. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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