OMGAKITTY Posted September 6, 2009 Report Share Posted September 6, 2009 Meh, general is being slow right now, and I don't want to do homework. So I've had this little pet project going on for a few weeks now...But its not ready for unveiling just yet. I'm still outlining the story (for the first time in my life >_> ), but here's an unexpected prologue I wrote for a contest that'll probably never get off the ground. Enjoy and stuff. [spoiler=Prologue]"Brother, I wish to speak with you."Aresh stepped into the darkened room. She was beauty beyond beauty. Her silvery hair flowed and writhed gently behind her, as if bestowed with some sort of strange sentience. Her skin was translucent, and her blood glowed golden like the sun, making it difficult to stare at her for too long. To those of the Lower World, the land of mortals, she was a goddess. Was she divinity in truth? Perhaps. Many a millenia ago, her and her people roamed the Lower World, guiding the fate of mankind. But that was a thing of the past. They were bound now, bound to the Upper World as surely as the mortals were bound to the lower one. "What is it, Aresh?" rumbled a deep voice from the depths of the columned room. "Kandor, my brother, surely you know. Marduk has begun moving in the world of men once more." "Indeed I do know this, my sister. But we are bound by the ancient covenant. We cannot interfere." "But brother!" she protested, "Marduk has broken the oath! Surely he cannot be allowed to roam free!" "His punishment will come in time" intoned Kandor stepping into the light.Even as Aresh glowed like the sun, Kandor drank in the darkness. He was black, blacker than obsidian, blacker than the souls of killers and rapists. His shape did not keep definition, but rather shrank and grew as he spoke. Tiny spots of light shone through his body, like stars. Where his face should be, however, was only the blackness. The light seemed to shrink away from him, even as the dark flowed to him. "But until our Father speaks, we are bound." "That...ist not entirely true, dear brother" whispered another voice, from above.Spiraling down slowly in a strand of silk came a creature, beautiful in its hideousness. A gross parody of a spider, it was as large as a bed, with tufts of spiky white hair sticking up from its joints, and covering its backside. Eight spindly legs worked the silk from its abdomen as it continued its slow decent. "Karanik, who gave you permission into my abode?" Kandor demanded, disgust evident in his voice. "I goo where I pleasse!" hissed Karanik vehemently. Its voice seemed to change from a deep baritone to a sultry female voice at random intervals. "Stop! Both of you! Kandor, let us hear what our half-brother has to say." "Why should I listen to this dirty halfbreed?" rumbled Kandor in anger. "Becausst, you hate Marduk more than you hate mee" shrieked the monstrosity gleefully, "You'll lissten to what I have to ssay becausst it will be your only chansse to combat Mardukk without breaking ssa oath!" Kandor's shape shifted rapidly, matching his conflicting emotions."What do you talk of, halfbreed?" "Prophessy my dear half-brother, prohpessy!" cackled Karanik, "If ssa Ssun Blesst mortal can make it to Aressh'st sshrine and call for her help, sshe can return to ssa Lower World!" "He's right!" exclaimed Aresh, her hair dancing wildly with her excitement, "If the mortal calls upon me, I will be able to intervene!" "That's a big 'if', sister." replied Kandor, "We will have to hope. But now that this insect's work here is done..."He began to grow and expand, soon he was the size of a small house. Oddly enough, the room seemed to expand to fit him. "BEGONE!" he boomed, smashing his horse-sized foot down on Karanik. Karanik shrieked gleefully as he dodged the foot, scuttling back into the shadows. Somewhere, even higher than the squabbling siblings, the Father stirred in his sleep. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weather Report - Stand Posted September 6, 2009 Report Share Posted September 6, 2009 I... don't know what to think of it right now. The main idea's in there, I think, and you've got enough random names in there (heh, Marduk reminds me of Mandark and Duck somehow)to last you a lifetime, but since it's just a prologue... it confuses me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OMGAKITTY Posted September 6, 2009 Author Report Share Posted September 6, 2009 I... don't know what to think of it right now. The main idea's in there' date=' I think, and you've got enough random names in there (heh, Marduk reminds me of Mandark and Duck somehow)to last you a lifetime, but since it's just a prologue... it confuses me.[/quote'] There are 4. >_>Hardly an overload of names. And since these are "gods" they have to have weird ass names. Its a rule. If its really too much for you, I can add a character list... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phantom Roxas Posted September 6, 2009 Report Share Posted September 6, 2009 It's not that you don't need a title, you just can't think of one. I find this interesting, but I think Aresh being described right away kind of made the plot seem rushed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OMGAKITTY Posted September 6, 2009 Author Report Share Posted September 6, 2009 It's not that you don't need a title' date=' you just can't think of one. I find this interesting, but I think Aresh being described right away kind of made the plot seem rushed.[/quote'] Hush. No need to tell everyone about that. Thanks, I keep that in mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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