Yu-Gi-Oh! World Championship

[.:Incognito:.]

I hope there's not another fan fic with this name xD.

Yu-Gi-Oh! World Championship

[spoiler=Prologue]

Blake Griffin is a 17-year old who likes Duel Monsters. Blake lives in Seattle, Washington. He has no friends. The reason is that whenever someone did something bad to him the very next day, that person would have an accident. And all the people didn't really think that those were coincidences. He has black hair and bright green eyes. All of his classmates learned not annoy him. His deck was Blackest Garden. He was a nice boy. For about 3 months he has been looking forward to the Yu-Gi-Oh! World Championship which was going to happen in 2 weeks. There was a girl in his class his class he liked; Caroline Coopersmith. She had bright blue-eyes, blond hair, and liked to wear bright colors. Caroline had no feelings for him. She was also a Duelist and ran Lightsworn.

 

[spoiler= Darkness and Light Pt 1]Blake was in school being extremely bored in Biology. He hated school. And finally the bell rang. Blake was very happy; Biology was the last subject of the day. Blake got his stuff and went home.

 

When he got home, he got out his Duel Monster cards. He hadn't bought a new pack in weeks, and the tournament was going to happen in only weeks he had to prepare. He went to the Duel monsters card shop, and bought 5 packs. He sat down and opened them, and saw that the only card he could add to his deck was Black Garden, but he already had 3 copies in his deck. But then he noticed Judgement Dragon. Usually he just skimmed the cards he got to find some new plants.

 

Then Caroline Coopersmith walked in with a group of girls. Blake hesitated, but then go up and walked over to Caroline with the Judgement Dragon card.

 

"Hi" said Blake.

 

All of the girls except Caroline giggled.

 

"Hello" said Caroline.

 

"Um so..."

 

"Just say it" said one of the girls.

 

"Okay, so um... here" he handed Caroline the card, and quickly ran off.

 

"That was weird" said another one of the girls.

 

"Yeah, but what did he give you?" asked another.

 

"The Judgement Dragon duel monsters card" answered Caroline. "At the cost of 1000 life points I can destroy all cards on the field other than itself"

 

"Looks cool!"

 

Blake was walking home. He was extremely embarrassed.

 

While he was walking home he saw a duel going on. He decided to stop and watch.

 

He looked at both sides one player had nothing out and 4000 life points while the other had Bad Reaction to Simochi and Nurse Refucle of the Fallen One (ATK 1200) and 7900 life points.

"I draw!" said the player with 7900 life points. I activate the Spell card Upstart Goblin so I draw a card and you gain oh wait lose 1000 life points(3000) next I summon Mystic Tomato(ATK 1400), now Nurse Refucle and Mystic Tomato attack! (life points 400), I end my turn with a face down.

 

"I draw" said the other player.

 

"And know I activate my face down card!" said the opposite player. "Gift card!" "So now you gain 3000 life points, oh wait!"

 

"Nope" said the other player. "I chain Mystical Space Typhoon, to destroy your Simochi!"

 

"Noob, I still have Nurse Refucle(life points 0)"

 

"Nice duel!" said Blake.

 

"I'd love to duel you!" said the other guy.

 

"Cool!"

 

"Could I join in?"

 

"Huh wh-"

 

There watching stood Caroline.

 

"But how?" asked the guy.

 

"What about tag dueling" asked Caroline.

 

"Cool, that means I can be a partner" said a guy who was also watching.

 

"Sure said the other guy.

 

"Okay, first of all, this is stupid, I mean we don't know any one's name" said Blake.

 

"Caroline"

 

"Blake"

 

"Cooper"

 

"Bill"

 

"I'll be partners with Blake" said Caroline.

 

"Good" thought Blake. He Seriously didn't want to pawn Caroline.

 

"That leaves us together" said Cooper.

 

"Duel!" said all four.

 

"I'll go first!" said Caroline. "I draw and summon Jain, Lightsworn Paladin(1800 ATK) and end my turn"

 

"I'll go then" said Bill. "I draw and activate my Continuous Spell card Dimensional Fissure so all cards sent to the Graveyard are removed from play!"

 

"But!" said Caroline. "I can't use the effects of my LIghtsworns!"

 

"Yup" said Bill. "Now I summon D.D. Survivor(1800 ATK), now survivor attack Jain!"

 

"Why" said Caroline. "They'll just both get destroyed!"

 

"Yes they will" said Bill.

 

"So now I end my turn, activating Survivor's effect bringing him back!"

 

"I'll go then!" said Blake. "Draw, I activate the field spell card Black Garden!"

 

All around them trees and plants started growing.

 

"Man, I'm totally ruined now!" said Caroline. "Not only I can't send cards from my deck to the Graveyard, but my Lightsworns monsters attack are halved!?" "Oh come on!"

 

"Well I'll just go on with my move" said Blake. "I summon Card Trooper(400 ATK)"

 

"Well it's attack is halved plus we get a token(ATK 800)"said Bill "I'm good "

 

"You won't be for long!" said Blake. "I activate Card Trooper's effect so I send the top 3 cards from my deck to the Graveyard and - "

 

"Repeat what you just said please" said Bill.

 

"I send the top 3 cards from my deck to the Graveya - " "Aw man!"

 

"Yup" said Bill.

 

"Fine then I end my turn with a face down" said Blake. "You're not the only one who's ruined!" said Blake to Caroline.

 

"Well I can't even activate the main effects of all my monsters!"

 

To be continued

 

[CrabHelmet]

The Prologue - Revised Edition

 

Remember that electric-pulse/witch girl from Fruits Basket? Our hero, Blake Griffin, is pretty much her.

[bury the year]

The Prologue - Revised Edition

 

Remember that electric-pulse/witch girl from Fruits Basket? Our hero' date=' Blake Griffin, is pretty much her.

[/quote']

 

HEY. HANAJIMA IS MAI BEYOTCH.

 

And I lol'd at the all-black theme. Obviously, his soul isn't black. No, it's black with a cream and two sugars. Unless you spruce this brat up, he's going to be unlikeable up to wazoo, and I hate wazoo and anyone who manages to go there.

[.:Incognito:.]

OK fine what about this: He has black hair, green eyes, and wears whatever he feels like...

[.:Incognito:.]

bumpo

[Balaxe]

When someone thinks use 'single' not "double" but overall I liked it.

[RyanAtlus]

Lemme guess...he'll win the WC?

I like it so far, keep writing.

[Kendo Fish]

Dare to compare with a WEATHER REPORT.

[spoiler=Prologue]

Blake Griffin is a 17-year old who likes Duel Monsters. Blake lives in Seattle' date=' Washington. He has no friends. The reason is that whenever someone did something bad to him the very next day, that person would have an accident. And since everybody is a jerk and will automatically do something bad to him, his friends all immediately afterward soiled their pants and stayed the hell away. And all the people didn't really think that those were coincidences. He has black hair and bright green eyes. All of his classmates learned not annoy him. Did those two sentences really go together? I'll answer it for ya. Nope. His deck was Blackest Garden. We need this information NOW? And what exactly would a Blackest Garden deck BE? Oh, I know. Summon Des Dendle and Vampire Orchis, then summon Dark Blade for a killer combo. He was a nice boy. And you can do a LOT of BAD THINGS to NICE, FORGIVING BOYS. I almost thought he was a jerk and it was easy to get him upset. Now it would make sense if he had at least ONE friend. For about THREE months he has been looking forward to the Yu-Gi-Oh! World Championship I don't really like the inclusion of the ! in Yu-Gi-Oh!, buuut it's there, so go ahead which was going to happen in TWO weeks. He waited THREE MONTHS for something coming in TWO WEEKS. Uh, you didn't say "two weeks from today" so there must be some sort of time-paradox-thing... There was a girl in his class his class he liked; Caroline Coopersmith. Caroline Coopersmith. Peter Parker. Tina Turner. Bob Bill. You know, CC sounds like the worst name out of these to me. Just me, yo. She had bright blue-eyes, blond hair, and liked to wear bright colors. Caroline had no feelings for him. She was also a oddly-capitalized Duelist and ran Lightsworn. She didn't use a Lightsworn deck, she ran a Lightsworn, which is a far less obvious way of saying this. Is Lightsworn like a mile? She ran a mile? She's on the track team? So it's settled. Caroline has run a Lightsworn, or mile, for her track team. And of course she doesn't use anything AWESOME or STEREOTYPICALLY MASCULINE like Dark-attributes, but she uses the STEREOTYPICALLY-FEMININE Light-attribute. I may be female and use a Water-deck, but I don't use Red Archery Girl as my main monster.

 

[spoiler= Darkness and Light Pt 1]Blake was in school being extremely bored in Biology. He hated school. And finally the bell rang. Blake was very happy; Biology was the last subject of the day. Blake got his stuff and went home. Sounds very...bland. Must...describe...MOAR!!!! Blake was at school. Blake was bored. The bell rang. Blake was happy. Blake got his stuff. Blake went home.

 

And the purpose of that was...? NOTHING.

 

When he got home, he got out his Duel Monster cards. Duel Monster? Yu-Gi-Oh? Duel Monster? Yu-Gi-Oh? Make up your mind, it's one or the other! He hadn't bought a new pack in weeks, and the tournament was going to happen in only weeks SO he had to prepare. He went to the Duel monsters card shop, and bought FIVE packs. What? No transition? No description? No PARENTS? All un-good. He sat down on a bowl of macaroni on the Titan Games & Comics store counter. Several employees tried to push him off, but he was morbidly obese and wouldn't get off. The employees ended up soiling their pants and backing off, letting Blake ruin his jeans in peace. So...he sat down and opened them, and saw that the only card he could add to his deck was Black Garden and definitely not BLACKEST Garden, but he already had THREE copies in his deck. But then he noticed Judgement Dragon. Usually he just skimmed the cards he got to find some new pants - I mean plants.

 

Then Caroline Coopersmith walked in with a group of girls. All of them looked just like flemish giants, except for Caroline of course. She was human. As they spotted Blake sitting on macaroni they all squealed "Ewww!" in their oddly-valleygirl voices. Blake hesitated, but then GOT up much to everyone's relief and walked over to Caroline with the Judgement Dragon card. The other forty-nine cards fell into the macaroni bowl.

 

"Hi COMMA" said Blake. Of course there's no expression in his voice. Why do you ask? Actually he sounds like a four-year-old boy.

 

All of the girls except Caroline giggled. Awkwardly. Backing away they said "Heh heh heh..." and hoped they hadn't just insulted him and wouldn't immediately damage the Titan store floor.

 

"Hello COMMA" said Caroline. She sounds like somebody's annoying stereotypical mother who gives socks for your birthday and embarrasses you whenever she gets the chance.

 

"Um COMMA so..."

 

"Just say it COMMA/color]" said one of the girls. Commas and description are your FRIENDS! Use them!

 

"Okay, so um... here PERIOD" He handed Caroline the card, and quickly ran off to retrieve the macaroni bowl so that he could eat it and all of the cards in it..

 

"That was weird COMMAS ARE HERE TO HELP" said another one of the girls. If he were less obese and hadn't sat in the macaroni bowl, I wouldn't think it were THAT weird. But since he's OBVIOUSLY obese and OBVIOUSLY sat in the macaroni bowl, it IS weird.

 

"Yeah, but what did he give you?" asked another.

 

"The Judgement Dragon Stick to duel monsters or Yu-Gi-Oh!, one or the other! Gaaaahhhh card STOP NEGLECTING COMMAS, YOU!" answered Caroline. "At the cost of 1000 life points I can destroy all cards on the field other than itself PERIOD"

 

"You can do that? You never told us that before!"

 

"And here I thought that was the card's effect and not your actual mystical power!"

 

"Let me demonstrate." Caroline's ear fell off as everyone in Titan who wasn't a main character immediately disintegrated.

 

"...Looks cool!"

 

Blake was walking home. He was extremely embarrassed. He walked through the bottom of the ocean, near several fantastic sea anemone. What? I'm Kendo Fish. What do you think would come to mind, the suburbs? So...he lives under the sea. There's a plexiglass wall around the city which separates the ocean from them. It's sturdy.

 

While he was walking home he saw a duel going on. He decided to stop and watch. Two men with mustaches were sitting at a table, not using newfangled duel disks. They sat in the middle of the empty street.

 

And unnecessary new paragraph.

 

He looked at both sides PERIOD One player had nothing out and 4000 life points while the other had Bad Reaction to Simochi and Nurse Refucle of the Fallen One (ATK 1200) and 7900 life points. Unnecessary Enter Press! UEP!

"I draw!" said the player with 7900 life points. Oh, now you hate QUOTATION MARKS? PUNCTUATION is your FRIEND.

 

I activate the Spell card Upstart Goblin so I draw a card and you gain oh wait lose 1000 life points(3000) next I summon Mystic Tomato(ATK 1400), now Nurse Refucle and Mystic Tomato attack! (life points 400), I end my turn with a face down.

 

...You don't see how that sentence is hilarious? So hilarious I had to press ENTER twice before it?

 

"I draw Stop. Ignoring. Commas. You fix this on your own, mistuh. I'm not doing any more of the hard work for ya. At least not that which concerns commas" said the other player.

 

"And know I activate my face down card!" Yes. Now we KNOW that you have activated your face-down -- wait, WHAT!?!? He had a face-down all along!?!? CHEATER. You just said he had nothing out. said the opposite player. "Gift card!" press.enter.HERE "So now you gain 3000 life points, oh wait!" Is 'oh wait' his catchphrase or something? His horrible, horrible catchphrase? And how does that even make sense here? I know it goes with Bad Reaction to Simochi but...must you purposely forget the effect every time the thing activates?

 

"Nope" said the other player. "I chain Mystical Space Typhoon, to destroy your Simochi!" YOU CAN'T PLAY THAT WITHOUT SETTING IT FIRST.

 

"Noob, I still have Nurse Refucle(life points 0)" Wait, who just lost there? And is it me or did he just say parenthesis life points zero parenthesis? And what does Nurse Refucle DO? Wait...

 

NURSE REFUCLE ISN'T EVEN A REAL CARD! IT'S NURSE REFICULE THE FALLEN ONE.

 

And don't Bad Reaction to Simochi and Nurse Reficule do the EXACT SAME THING!?!?

 

THAT is COMPLETELY USELESS.

 

"Nice duel!" said Blake. He just said...with an exclamation mark.

 

"I'd love to duel you!" said the other guy. Who's the other guy and who's the other OTHER guy? And he would love to duel him why? Did he somehow prove his Dueling Skillz by saying NICE DUEL!?!?

 

"Cool!"

 

"Could I join in?"

 

"Huh wh-"

 

There watching stood Caroline. Oddly-constructed sentence.

 

"But how?" asked the guy. THE guy? OTHER guy? Which one's which?

 

"Uhh...I came. DUH."

 

"Good point."

 

"What about tag dueling" asked Caroline. You didn't add a question mark. Obviously IT'S NOT A QUESTION.

 

"Cool, that means I can be a partner" said a guy who was also watching.

 

"Sure said the other guy.

 

"Hey, what about me?" whimpered the other other guy. Everybody ignored him. He slowly walked away muttering, "I hate life..."

 

"Okay, first of all, this is stupid, I mean we don't know any one's name" said Blake. Stupid because you don't know their names? Wha - how does that make any sense? Of is he taking about using BRtS and Nurse REFICULE somehow being a combo?

 

"Caroline"

 

"Blake"

 

"Cooper"

 

"Bill"

 

"I'll be partners with Blake" said Caroline. She's not the least bit disgusted by the fact that her partner is ignorant and nobody likes him. Hey, now I understand why he has no friends. He crushes people in the hallway.

 

"Good" thought Blake. He oddly-capitalized Seriously didn't want to pawn if you REALLY wanna use internet speak, USE PWN Caroline.

 

"That leaves us together" said Cooper.

 

"Duel!" said all four. They sat at the table as a minivan swerved out of their path.

 

"I'll go first!" said Caroline.

 

"Why should we let YOU go first?" said Cooper. He was ignored.

 

"I draw and summon Jain, Lightsworn Paladin(1800 ATK) and end my turn"

 

"I'll go then" said Bill.

 

"Why -"

 

"I draw and activate my Continuous Spell card Dimensional Fissure so all cards sent to the Graveyard are removed from play!"

 

"But!" said Caroline. "I can't use the effects of my LIghtsworns!"

 

"Yup" said Bill. "Why do you think I used Dimensional Fissure? I'm fighting AGAINST you! No wonder they say that females aren't as intelligent as males! Now I summon D.D. Survivor(1800 ATK), now survivor attack Jain!"

 

"Why" said Caroline. "They'll just both get destroyed!"

 

"Yes they will" said Bill. "Stop questioning my methods, you stupid *****!" UEP.

 

"So now I end my turn, activating Survivor's effect bringing him back!"

 

"I'll go then!" said Blake. "Draw, I activate the field spell card Black Garden!"

 

All around them trees and plants started growing. Uhh, enchanted card? They're playing on a table yet nobody's surprised by this? And if the table produces holograms, how come the monsters didn't appear?

 

"Man, I'm totally ruined now!" said Caroline. "Not only I can't send cards from my deck to the Graveyard, but my Lightsworns monsters attack are halved!?"

 

Your welcome. "Oh come on!" said her pet squirrel, which sat on her shoulder. "By the way, your grammar is ruined too and you're stating the obvious. Stop it, you stupid *****!"

 

"Well I'll just go on with my move" said Blake. "I summon Card Trooper(400 ATK)"

 

"Well it is? That makes no sense attack is halved plus we get a token(ATK 800)"said Bill "I'm good "

 

"You won't be for long!" said Blake. "I activate Card Trooper's effect so I send the top THREE cards from my deck to the Graveyard and - "

 

"Repeat what you just said please" said Bill.

 

"I send the top THREE cards from my deck to the Graveya - "

 

Your welcome. "Aw man!" said the same squirrel. "Something happened that wasn't explained at all! What did that do? What do the cards DO? I can't read! I NEED TO KNOW!

 

"Yup" said Bill , who agreed but did nothing to help the poor fluffy soul.

 

"Fine then I end my turn with a face down" said Blake. "You're not the only one who's ruined!" said Blake to Caroline. Meaning that it's Bill that...it's Blake that...it's Cooper that - wait, what am I saying? Who am I talking about?"

 

"I'm confused!" screamed the squirrel, flailing around.

 

"Well I can't even activate the main effects of all my monsters!"

 

To be continued

 

Overall that COULD have been good. It just lacked description, sturdy plot, good reasoning, good grammar, double-checking, interesting characters...actually, it lacked a lot of things. You should really go over this again.