Ha-Ru-Hi! Revised

[Guest NeoBlueDragon]

Chapters 1-5

[spoiler=Chapter 1]Duel 1: Haruhi Suzumiya comes to Town.

 

Five years after the introduction of the Duel Monsters Trading Card Game, it rose to international stardom as being the most popular game ever created. Everyone was into it, young kids, teens, adults, EVERYBODY.

 

I dueled as well, but not as well as some people. By the way, the name's-

 

"KYON!"

 

AUGH!!

 

Taken by surprise, in my new classroom.

 

"Kyon, why don't you stand up and introduce yourself?" asked Mr. Okabe.

 

My eyebrow twitched in slight annoyance at the stupid nickname. How my little sister had somehow spread it around the world was beyond my understanding. Everyone called me Kyon, my parents, my friends, AND my teachers.

 

I figured arguing the point would do me no good, so I stood and smiled, hoping to make a good first impression, "Hello everyone, there's really not much to say. My father moved here with his career, and I ended up coming to this school. I hope I can get along with everyone and we can have a good school year."

 

"Thank you, Kyon."

 

Sighing, I sat down, as a girl about my age, with short, dark-brown hair and an orange ribbon stood up behind me.

 

"I'm Haruhi Suzumiya." the Girl began, "I came to this city looking for answers to questions that had yet to be answered. Questions involving Card Games, time travelers, aliens, ESPers, and interdimensional sliders. If you have anything related to these topics, say them now, because I don't care for anything else. Thank you."

 

Sitting back down again, she began looking through a deck of Duel Monster Cards, as if curious about their origins.

 

Now I should take this moment to pause and clarify, I had heard rumors of Suzumiya-san around the school, but this little spout of insanity still surprised the crap out of me. Who did this girl think she was? Dr. Who?

 

The teacher was baffled, he didn't know what to say.

 

"Uh... thank you, Haruhi. Next..."

 

A short time passed before I decided to talk to Suzumiya-san. I didn't know that to expect, but what the heck.

 

"So that was a joke right? That whole thing with ESPers and time travelers and stuff? My name's Kyon."

 

Great, now I was even introducing myself with that dumb nickname.

 

It seemed my attempt to capture her attention was not to end in failure. Her arms uncrossed and she smirked, "Well, would you happen to know anything about that stuff?" she asked, getting slightly excited.

 

"I wouldn't say that I've ever seen any proof on the matter," I said, not quite agreeing or disagreeing with her, "But it is an interesting subject I suppose."

 

People around the class were giving me strange looks, some shaking their heads in dissapointment, I rolled my eyes, ignoring them and plowing on, "But suppose they did exist," I continued, "It would be a one in a million chance of finding them. There are billions upon billions of people that live on this planet, and something like an esper or an alien would be an extremely uncommon thing. How would you go about locating one, especially since they'd most likely want to remain hidden?"

 

Haruhi frowned at this and rubbed her chin, looking thoughtful for a moment.

 

If she wasn't so crazy, I'd probably ask her out on a date.

 

"You raise a good point," she conceded, but then her determined glare returned, "However, it is my mission to seek the answers out. Normal life, normal friends, I'm not meant for it. And these cards," she pointed toward her deck, "are the key to finding these answers."

 

"A deck of Duel Monster cards?" I asked, "THAT I know about."

 

"Really?"

 

"Yep, I happen to have a deck as well. Most everyone does."

 

"Oh. So these cards are owned by everyone?"

 

"Some are. There are some cards that aren't produced as often. These are called, 'Rare' cards, and thus have higher value," I explained.

 

"Oh..." Haruhi then picked a card from her deck and put it on her desk. "Is this one of them?"

 

"Well..." I took a look, and recognized it, "... yes. It's very rare. Only three are known to exist... How'd you get this card?"

 

"This deck was my father's, before his disappearance." Haruhi explained. "I could conclude that this card was his rarest. So, I guess, Everyone would be after Blue-Eyes White Dragon here."

 

Everyone immediately heard the name of the card, and turned to us, shock on their faces.

 

"Buh...Blue-Eyes?"

 

"No way!"

 

"Doesn't Seto Kaiba have all three of them?"

 

"It could be a Fake!"

 

"True that."

 

"Someone check it out!"

 

A student looked over my shoulder and yelled, "This is rarer then the True Blue-Eyes! It's Blue-Eyes White Dragon, Envoy of the Light!"

 

"STUDENTS! To your seats!" Obake intervened just in the nick of time. God, thank you, Sensei.

---------

It was later in the day when I would hold a conversation with my two friends on the roof, Taniguchi and Kunikida.

 

"I heard she's a total weirdo," whispered Taniguchi, brow furrowing, almost as if he was concentrating on something.

 

I laughed lightly, "This coming from someone like you?"

 

Taniguchi pouted, "I'm serious Kyon. Apparantly, the last school she went to, a cool guy, which every girl loved, asked her out, and she totally dumped him five days later."

 

I rolled my eyes, "That's normal, happens all the time."

 

Kunikida interrupted, "Apparantly, she hasn't had a relationship that has lasted more than a week."

 

"So he's a jerk," I said with a shrug, "Big deal, there's tons of them."

 

Taniguchi and Kunikida looked at each other, both frowning. "It's not normal, Kyon, when she dumped him, she was always shouting about how she didn't have time for normal humans."

 

I frowned, then why in the world was she talking to me?

 

I looked to the right, down below at the baseball field at the side of the school, and I caught sight of Haruhi, scaling the large fence at the end of the field with what looked like a radio on his back, what the hell was she doing? It makes sense that guys would try to date her. She was quite the looker, but her personality ruined her completely.

 

Yet something was driving me to hold conversation with her.

 

Taniguchi interupted my thoughts, "So how do you do it?"

 

I looked at my friend and raised an eyebrow, "How do I do what?"

 

"Don't play dumb with me, I saw the smirks she tossed at you when you two were talking in class, it's getting ridiculous. She must think you're an alien or something because all you had to do was bat your eyes and explain a game to her. She was staring at you for the rest of the period!"

 

I frowned, I wouldn't go so far as staring.

 

"Well she was!" shouted Taniguchi.

 

"I'm just talking to her," I said with a shrug, "It's not like I do anything special."

 

"Uh huh, I'm onto you, Kyon."

 

I frowned, "What is your malfunction, Tani-kun?"

 

"I told you not to call me that!!"

-------------

"Pass down the basket and draw your new seat assignments."

 

I took the basket in my hand and rushed to draw the little piece of paper out. I smirked when I realized my new seat was by the window, the second to last seat in the back of the class. I couldn't help but breathe a small sigh of relief.

 

Good bye forever Haruhi.

 

A few minutes later saw me with my face buried in my arms.

 

This had to be some kind of weird twist of fate.

 

Some cosmic coincidence.

 

The smirking deck-holder was still in the seat behind me, "So Kyon," she said, "What do you really think about the whole thing?"

 

I raised my head up and sighed, "What whole thing?"

 

"About me being crazy. I know the rumors being tossed around about me, and it doesn't surprise me one bit."

 

I had to admit, she had a certain kind of charm about her.

 

I mentally slapped myself, get a hold of yourself, man!

 

"Well..." I paused, "All great people in history were different from the norm, Albert Einstien, Da Vinci, Steven Hawking. They all revolutionized the world in thier own way because they were 'strange'. However, they also had something else, they were geniuses. Normal High school kids like us should just worry about trying to pass and get through our lives." I turned my body slightly to look at Haruhi again, and her smirk had disappeared. She was now glaring out the window. What did I do to piss her off?

 

SIGH.

 

Well, I'd better start ignoring her.

 

...Was something tugging the back of my shirt.

 

Something was DEFINITELY tugging my collar.

 

AUGH!!

 

That something hit my head on Haruhi's desk. Recovering, I turned and narrowed my eyes. It seemed to have no effect, "That's it!"

 

"What's it?"

 

"If the answers I need won't come to me, then I'll go looking for them!"

 

I blushed when I realized the whole class was staring. Before I hadn't cared much, but now it was just plain embarrasing. "Suzumiya-san, maybe you should calm down a little."

 

"No!" she shouted, "It's so simple I can't believe I didn't realize it before." She loomed over me, "Come with me, Kyon!"

 

"Wha..."

 

Before I had realized what was happening, I felt a gust of air rush through my hair, and Haruhi was running out of the classroom with me in tow.

 

"STOP! ARE YOU MAD!? CLASS DIDN'T EVEN END YET!"

 

It appeared that she did not hear me, or was just plain ignoring me. A huge grin was plastered on her face as she dashed me through the halls to God knows where.

 

The fact that I had ended up with this troublesome girl was more than enough for me to handle. Whatever deity that lived in the sky must have suddenly decided, 'Hey, that dude looks like he has a boring life, let's spice it up a little.'

 

I LIKED my boring life thank you very much, and I wanted it back.

 

These inner monologues of mine really need to stop, I have a seriously bad habit of talking to myself.

 

I opened my mouth to shout another complaint, but it appeared stopped. "Okay," she said, still with that goofy grin.

 

I looked at my surroundings, it appeared we had stopped in the stairwell, "And where are we exactly?" I asked.

 

"This is where I go to think."

 

"The stairwell?"

 

"That's beside the point. I'm going to make a club!"

 

"A club?"

 

"Yeah, and it'll be dedicated to finding the answers I need, which, as stated before, included things like aliens, espers, and time travelers. We need to get a clubroom."

 

A small protest rose in my throat. We? Since when had this involved the word we? Last time I checked I wasn't about to take part in the crazy schemes going through this girl's head, yet here I was...

 

In the stairwell...

 

My protest suddenly died, "Just do whatever you want," I grumbled, bringing a hand to my face.

-----

MEANWHILE... (not in Kyon's POV!)

"The Light Envoy has been located."

 

"Excellent. Soon, the other Envoys will reveal themselves."

 

"Yes, of course. And what of the Humanoid Interfaces stationed in that area?"

 

"They'll not interfere. I KNOW the Integrated Thought Entity, and it will not take interest until drastic events are caused..."

 

"What is this 'Drastic' you speak of?"

 

"... Idiot. You just ruined the mood."

---------

BACK AT NORTH HIGH, KYON'S POV

I tried to resist... I really did...

 

The fact that I was standing in the middle of the deserted literary club in no way meant that I was appeasing Haruhi's crazy antics. In fact, I was totally against them.

 

It all started a couple of days ago.

 

When I had foolishly spoken to the Duelist known as Haruhi Suzumiya.

 

"The literary club was going to be shut down if no one joined," she explained to me, opening the door to a very blank room. In the center of the room sat a long table with a single chair, in that chair sat a lavender haired girl about our age with glasses, flipping through the book in her hands quietly, "She was the one that joined."

 

"Yuki Nagato," said the girl quietly.

 

"And she's okay with this?" I asked sceptically.

 

"It's fine," said Yuki.

 

"But are you sure about this? You'll probably get booted out."

 

"Yes. But I'm willing to risk it."

 

I sighed heavily, obviously my last ditch effort had not succeeded in detering Haruhi's will. "Then it's decided!" she shouted, "This will be our club room, hold on a second, I'll be right back!"

 

She disappeared as quickly as we had entered, and not but a minute later she dragged in a very cute and very frightened looking red haired girl, "This will be our mascot!" she shouted joyfully, "I always go through the building on lunch breaks to find cute girls that happen to be Duelist, and you just can't get any cuter than this!"

 

If you were a guy, you'd have a very sick mind, Haruhi Suzumiya.

 

"I don't know what's going on," said the girl timidly, looking around the room in fright. Her eyes landed on Nagato-san, and some of the fright vanished, "Oh, I see. Okay, then, I'll join your club." She spoke so quietly it was hard to hear what she said, and I instantly felt sorry for her, "I'm Asahina Mikuru."

 

"You are one sick girl Suzumiya!" I shouted, "First, you get me involved in your escapades, and now her! Are you some sort of bisexual rapist or something?!"

 

She smirked and chuckled, as if I had made a joke, "She's not the only thing I've got. I've decided on a name for this club!"

 

Oh no.

 

Attention world!

 

The name for the secret club borrowing the literary room is about to be revealed!

 

"SOS Brigade!"

 

My stomach did a backflip, "S... O... S?"

 

"Save the World by Overloading it with Fun Suzumiya Haruhi's Brigade."

 

Please tell me she was joking.

 

Please tell me I would wake up any minute now to my little sister bouncing on my back.

 

My first week at high school, and my life had already been ruined.

 

Why did she drag me into this?

 

Dammit I've gotta stop this inner monologue.

 

 

[spoiler= Chapter 2]Duel 2: Mechanizations, Dragons, and... Aliens?

 

One week after the creation of the SOS Brigade, and a lot strange had happened, sure, but we had yet to encounter any aliens, time travelers, or espers. I mentioned that I enjoyed my life being boring, and that had not changed.

 

Why did it have to be me?

 

I tried to find the will to turn around in the hallway and leave the school, but my feet continued to carry me towards the clubroom. Haruhi had picked up various things laying around the school to liven up the room. A couple of shelves and filing cabinets adorned the right wall, and more chairs surrounded the long table, as well as a book shelf to the left. I frowned, Maybe Haruhi did think of other people. I turned my attention back to the table to see Nagato reading calmly as usual, no expression on her face. "Yo," I said calmly.

 

She looked up momentarily from her book and placed a finger on her glasses, pushing them up to the bridge of her nose, "Hello... Kyon."

 

Emotionless, this one.

 

I walked in and sat across from Nagato, resting my chin on the palm of my hand, "Watcha reading?" She held up the book she was reading. I could tell it was about robots and aliens just by looking at it. Perhaps that explained her current behavior. "Seems like something Haruhi would be interested in."

 

Nagato didn't respond. What was with her?

 

Mikuru Asahina timidly stepped into the room in a maid outfit. Now what I couldn't understand is how Haruhi got her to wear the damn thing. She walked in one day with the outfit and declared loudly that Asahina-san was to wear the outfit at all club meetings. For some odd reason... she had complied.

 

The door to the club room slammed open, shaking almost the entire school grounds, "Your fearless leader has arrived!! We've got a lot to do today. Brigade members number 1 and 3!" Haruhi shouted, pointing to me and Asahina-san, "You're coming with me to the computer lab next door, we're gonna get a computer."

 

Well, this is beginning to ROYALLY suck.

------------

As we walked to the Computer Clubroom, Asahina-san was looking over her deck. Peering over her shoulder, I saw that she ran a Plant/Fairy Deck. Fitting for her.

 

As we entered the room, Haruhi shouted, "We, the SOS Brigade, are in need of a computer!"

 

"Hm..." One of them said, probably the leader, then replied with, "No. We're already using them."

 

"Well, we're willing to steal it if necessary."

 

"Okay," Another one said, "We'll let you have a computer..."

 

He pulled out a deck of Duel Monster cards. Oh no.

 

"... if you can beat me."

 

"Fine." Haruhi complied.

 

"Meet me at the back parking lot of the school."

 

As the two walked for the back parking lot, Asahina-san and I followed.

 

The two stood at opposite sides of the parking lot. This was going to get ugly.

 

"Well, for the sake of the computer..." Haruhi started.

 

"Let's Duel!" they yelled.

 

Computer Club LP: 4000

 

SOS Brigade LP: 4000

 

Computer Club's turn.

 

"I draw," The member began, "I'll summon Ancient Gear Soldier! Attack Mode!"

 

A mechanical man that looked like it had been through a bunch of wars appeared, followed by a hologram saying ATK: 1300.

 

"Then, I'll set two cards face down," the member said, as two giant hologram cards appeared, "and end my turn."

 

Haruhi's turn.

 

"Draw!" Haruhi yelled, "I'll summon X-Head Cannon! In Attack Mode!"

 

A larger, modern blue robot appeared, with a hologram saying ATK: 1800.

 

"And now, I'll attack Ancient Gear Soldier!" Haruhi yelled, as the X-Head Cannon fired two cannons on its shoulders, aimed at AGS.

 

"Trap Card! Hajiro!" The member reacted, as a card lifted, morphing into what appeared to be some kind of armor. "Attack Guidance Armor!"

 

Attack Guidance Armor: AGA is programmed to attach to a target and redirect one attack to that target.

 

"You wouldn't attack a girl..." Haruhi asked, "... would you?"

 

"Yes, I would. And I will! Guidance Armor, Attach to Haruhi Suzumiya!" the member declared.

 

As the armor attached to Haruhi, the X-Head Cannon's blasts missed AGS. Swiveling to Haruhi, it blasted her.

 

SOS Brigade LP: 2200

 

"That was easy," The member commented. "My turn. First, I summon Ancient Gear Knight!"

 

Another old robot with what appeared to be a lance and a shield appeared, along with a hologram saying ATK: 1800.

 

"And next, I activate Double Summon!"

 

Double Summon: DS allows you to normal summon one more time in the same turn.

 

"Now, I release Ancient Gear Soldier and Knight..." the member continued, "... to summon Ancient Gear Golem!"

 

The Soldier and Knight suddenly fall apart, fusing their body parts together to become a mechanical Giant. The ATK hologram of this monster is 3000.

 

"However, since I'm merciful, I'll end my turn." the Member said.

 

"Big mistake. Draw," Haruhi drew a card, "Then I'll play two Dark Cores!"

 

"Two? I only have Ancient Gear Golem..."

 

"Now, by discarding my Z-Metal Tank and Y-Dragon Head from my hand, I'll get rid of both Ancient Gear Golem..." Haruhi smirked when that giant mech faded away, "... and X-Head Cannon."

 

As X-Head Cannon did the same, the member yelled, "WTF? X-Head was your monster! What are you doing?"

 

"Next, I'll remove Z-Metal Tank and Y-Dragon Head from my graveyard to summon... Blue-Eyes White Dragon, Envoy of the Light!"

 

A bright light glowed behind her, fading into a massive, large, impressive version of Blue-Eyes White Dragon. ATK Hologram: 3000.

 

"Cracking mad!" the guy yelled in horror.

 

"I'm not done yet. Activate Return from the Different Dimension!" Haruhi declared.

 

Return from the Different Dimension: At the cost of half your life points, this card can bring to the field all monsters removed from play.

 

SOS Brigade: 1100 LP

 

As X, Y, and Z return to the field, Haruhi smirks, then yells, "X, Y, Z! Combiner Mode!"

 

The three monsters combine into a single monster: "XYZ-Dragon Cannon!" ATK Hologram: 2800

 

Haruhi, smirking, then yelled, "Blue-Eyes, XYZ! Attack his life points! One Turn K-O!"

 

"X-Caliber Barrage!" XYZ fired X-Head's cannons.

 

"Thunder Burst Stream!" Blue-Eyes fired a blue lighting fireball.

 

"Trap Card Hajiro!" The member reacted, "Confusion Shaft!"

 

Confusion Shaft: One monster attacks another.

 

Both attacks hit the other monster.

 

SOS Brigade: 0 LP

 

Well, it was entertaining, seeing Haruhi put up a fight.

----------------

Back in the Computer Club room...

 

"So, we keep the computer. Sorry." The member said, sympathetic.

 

Haruhi grinned.

 

Oh crap.

 

She grabbed the hand of the club leader and pulled Asahina-san closer.

 

The next sound I heard was Asahina's 'Kya!!!!'

 

Currently, the club leader's hand was in a place I'm sure Asahina would rather not have it.

 

If I kept blushing at the rate I was going, I was sure to end up like those poor saps with nose bleeds.

 

The click of a camera brought me out of my thoughts, and I was surprised to see Haruhi taking pictures of the leader groping her chest. I was gonna kill her.

 

"NOW!" Shouted Haruhi cheerfully, finally pulling a crying Asahina. My eyebrow twitched when he continued, "If you don't give me one of your computers, I'm going to mail these pictures of you molesting our poor moe club member."

 

Asahina was moe?

 

"No!" shouted the leader, standing up and jumping for the camera that Haruhi was holding above his head, "That's no fair, you forced us to molest that poor girl!"

 

Damn that sounded cheesy, these guys played way too many H games.

 

"Hmm, I don't know about that," said Haruhi skeptically, "From where I'm standing, it looks like the whole club wants to gang rape this girl!"

 

Why was I doing nothing to stop this sad excuse for blackmail?

--------

"Kyon, you get to set up our website!"

 

"Why me?"

 

"Because you do nothing but stand around in the club room, you need to help the SOS Brigade! You were there when I created it. If I were to die, you would have to take my place as Brigade Chief."

 

Maybe when pigs fly.

 

"Another phenomenon, the flying pig!"

 

Wait, did she just... Never mind.

 

Nagato-san stood and shut her book. She looked at me for a good long moment, "What?"

 

She set the book down on the table and looked back up at me, "I'm lending this to you," she said simply, emotionless as always, "Please... read it."

 

"Okay..."

 

Needless to say, I was surprised at what I found in the book, instead of Nagato-san's bookmark, it was a small folded piece of paper. When I opened it up I wasn't expecting what I found.

 

Kyon,

 

Meet me tonight at the nearby park. Second bench from the entrance.

 

Nagato.

 

Well, this is beginning to get somewhat interesting...

--------

On my way home my thoughts invaded my mind, did Nagato-san really have a crush on me, or was this something else entirely? It was hard to tell with her sometimes, and I didn't hang out with her too often, it was mostly the crazy girl that ended up dragging me around. Then again, it would make sense since Nagato-san was always the silent type. After changing into jeans and a shirt I talked to my mom and told her I was going to see a friend of mine at the park. She kind of smirked, which made me uneasy, "Okay," she said gently, "Just be back by ten."

 

It was then that my little sister bounded into the room with a huge grin plastered on her face, "Kyon's got a girlfriend!" she shouted loudly.

 

My eyebrow twitched and I decided to leave him to his own imaginative devices.

-------

The park was quiet to say the least, and the sun was setting quickly. It was getting close to winter, so it was slightly chilly outside. I shivered lightly and pulled my arms together, trying to ignore the goosebumps that popped up on my skin.

 

"Kyon-san."

 

I turned to the emotionless voice and saw Nagato walking towards me, slowly yet deliberately. "Nagato-san," I said politely.

 

"I suppose you're wondering why we're here."

 

"So what did you want to tell me?" I asked curiously.

 

"I am a humanoid interface."

 

The fact that she said it like I should understand it made me uncomfortable, like it was simple as E=MC2, or x=ab.

 

Like it was a fact I should have come to on my own, "What your kind would call an alien."

 

"An alien?"

 

This was a surprising development. Haruhi would definitely get a kick out of this.

 

She continued as if my confusion were simply a second handed matter. "The integrated thought entity controls me. Originally, when Earth was created, it held no interest to the Integrated Thought Entity, but with time humans evolved into a bipedal species capable of amounts of intelligence. Eventually, some humans from an area known as Egypt discovered the ability to call upon life-forms from an unknown dimension in bouts known as Shadow Games, catching the Integrated Thought Entity. The planet was observed for some time in the hopes of gathering new data, though humans never actually broke out of the autoevolution process. Five years ago, an incident occurred on this Earth, a fluctuation in data the likes of which has never been seen before."

 

Simply impossible.

 

Ridiculous.

 

"At the center of this incident was the card game, Duel Monsters. Eventually another incident happened, which involved Haruhi Suzumiya. We began to observe her. Humans are never able to influence the data around them, the simple fact that Suzumiya-san is capable of this is a reason to observe her."

 

"So you're saying she is an evolutionary leap or something? That's ridiculous, how do you expect me to believe something like this?"

 

She continued, "For a reason unknown to the integrated thought entity, Suzumiya-san chose you."

 

"Chose... me?"

 

"It is unknown whether this will play a factor in future events. However, something else of concern happened very recently after she appeared at North High."

 

"And that something would be...?"

 

"The Light Envoy."

 

"Haruhi's card...?"

 

Yuki Nagato nodded.

 

"Suppose I believed you, why did Haruhi pick me? And what the hell am I supposed to do."

 

Nagato pushed her glasses up on the bridge of her nose, "The Light Envoy is an unknown factor in this matter, but your involvement is undeniable."

 

I didn't expect the quiet bookworm types were this crazy.

 

 

[spoiler=Chapter 3]Duel 3: Will High School END already?!

 

What Nagato-san told me the night before was playing through my head over and over again. An alien. Not that I believed her or anything, but the simple fact that she told me such a thing was very surprising. It was a wonder that girl wasn't living with her parents, being as mentally unstable as she was.

 

I did my daily treck to North High up the steepest part of the hill. It had become such a part of my daily routine that it didn't even bother me anymore.

 

Besides, I had other things to worry about when it came to being bothered, "Kyon! Wait up."

 

And there was Taniguchi, running as fast as his legs could carry him. "So," he said, almost completely out of breath by the time he had reached me, "What's going on between you and Suzumiya-san?"

 

Going on?

 

Let's see, first she kidnapped me from the classroom, then she made me help him form that stupid brigade, then she sexually harrased a girl through the leader of the computer club. What WASN'T going on? Well, obviously not what Taniguchi was thinking, "Nothing Taniguchi, you need to stop watching romantic comedies," I said simply.

 

"There's something going on. I know it." Taniguchi insisted, "I'm keeping an eye on you. Kyon."

 

Great... now I had the watchful eye of a guy that was obsessed with romance on me. Please, let this all be a long dream.

Nope, this was definitely real. Haruhi sat in her desk, head resting on her hand, staring out the window. When someone tapped me on the shoulder, I turned to see Ryoko Asakura, resident class polite girl. "Keep up what you're doing," she said gently, "Haruhi hasn't had any friends almost her entire life... until you that is."

 

Friend? If you'd call being a friend what I've been through, then I guess, but I sure didn't. "I'm not really doing anything," I replied, "I just talked to her."

 

"Really?" Ryoko said, overtly interested.

 

Turning around, she walked to her seat.

--------------------

Later, I was searching the city with Asahina-san (Blame Haruhi), when a thought came to me:

 

"Asahina-san, what did Haruhi do to make you do this?"

 

She looked confused, but I plowed on, "There are plenty of people out there for you to befriend,” I said reassuringly, “This is a path you don’t need to go down, no matter what she says. Don’t do it Asahina-san, do NOT taint your purity.”

 

An awkward silence followed.

 

Was my advice really that bad?

 

It was then I noticed that the girl was the color of a freshly ripe cherry, “It’s not that at all!”

 

It was unlike Asahina-san to shout, so naturally it was surprising to me. It was then that I realized my mistake. If I looked at myself in the mirror right now I’d probably be twice as red as the timid girl standing in front of me. Asahina looked away and frowned deeply, “It’s something of extreme importance, recent events have taken place that require you to be informed.”

 

Now she was talking strangely. She walked to a nearby bench and sat down, twiddling her thumbs. I hesitated, but followed, sitting down next to her without a word. It was a good minute before she worked up the courage to speak, “I don’t belong here.”

 

Everything was falling into place, what Nagato-san had said the other night came flooding back.

 

“I’m not supposed to be in this timeline,” she said simply.

 

This had to be some kind of joke the brigade was pulling, right?

 

“I was sent here to look into a matter of grave importance. It appears that there is an anomoly surrounding Suzumiya-san.”

 

Yet again, the eccentric and crazy high schooler was at the center of things.

 

“I guess you could call me a Time Traveller,” she said softly. “Traversing time is not that difficult of a process, however, the risk that comes with it is substantial."

 

“So why were you sent here?” I asked.

 

“Strange things are happening around Suzumiya-san, it all started five years ago.”

 

Again with the five years. What happened five years ago?

 

“I was sent to investigate these discrepancies, and I was surprised to find Nagato-san there as well. The fact that the Integrated Data Entity takes any interest in Suzumiya-san at all was enough proof that he was the center of all this.”

 

I frowned, “So she’s a time-plane anomoly as well? What’s my part in all this? Nagato-san said she ‘chose’ me and I still don’t know why. I’m just a normal guy trying to grind his way through High School, there’s nothing special about me, and until now there was nothing special about the people around me. Why am I here, talking to a supposed Time Traveller, when I should be at home studying... or dealing with my annoying little sister?”

 

She turned her head to face me, and with a gentle smile, she brought a finger to her mouth, “That’s classified information.”

 

God, she looked cute- STOP IT, Kyon, STOP it! Bad mind!

-----------------

“I can’t believe you two didn’t find anything, PENALTY!”

 

I frowned, “And what exactly did you and Nagato-san find.”

 

Haruhi’s face blanked, and then she turned around and found it time wise to stare at the bus stop, with a glare on her face probably, “That’s besides the point, we’re going to search extra hard tomorrow, and we’ll find something, I’m sure of it!”

 

She stormed off in the other direction, and I walked up to Nagato-san. Her attention was focused on the retreating Haruhi, but when I tugged his sleeve lightly, she turned to look at me, “Yes?”

 

“About the other night,” I said, “I think I’m starting to believe you.”

---------------------------

What happened next was unexpected, apparantly the fates had aligned perfectly to have this outcome.

 

But I’m getting ahead of myself.

 

Haruhi slammed the door to the club room open, behind her stood a guy about my age with light brown hair and the most plastic smile I had ever encountered. “This club needs a mystery transfer student, and this guy fits the role perfectly!” shouted Haruhi.

 

The man immediately looked in my direction. Was I just imagining it or was his smile getting a bit too friendly, “Hello.” His voice was sophisticated to say the least, but I had a feeling that if I were forced to listen to it for long periods of time it would drive me insane. “I’m Itsuki Koizumi, nice to meet you all.”

 

He says ‘you all’ while still staring at me of course. Can he even see when his eyes are squinted like that?

 

If one thing was for sure, the prescence of Koizumi was an unsettling thing, but it seemed that Haruhi was as happy as ever. “I have to head back,” said Haruhi, “But you guys can get to know each other.”

 

The door slammed behind Haruhi.

 

I had an extremely bad feeling about this.

 

“Kyon, right?” asked Itsuki, still with that plastic smile.

 

“Yeah,” I said uneasily.

 

He walked to me and leaned down, holding out her hand for me to shake.

 

Your face is way too close.

 

Nevertheless, I shoke his hand and frowned, “Meet me out in the courtyard of the school in twenty minutes, we have certain things that need to be discussed.”

 

Now I had a really bad feeling about this.

----------------

The courtyard was completely empty, save for the single soul that sat on a table under the shade of one of the trees, sipping from a cup with a straw. I made my way over to Koizumi and sat down. There was a drink in the center of the table besides the one that he was holding, he pushed it towards me, passing it as an offer. I debated on whether or not to trust her intentions before simply shrugging and taking the cup. I sipped from it.

 

Hmmm...

 

Coffee.

 

“There’s a reason I called you out here.”

 

Nah, really?

 

Koizumi leaned over the table, and I made it a point to scoot back slightly, trying to avoid his stare. This was awkward. “It’s about Suzumiya-san.”

 

This again?

 

He sighed deeply and paused before continuing. “I suppose I might as well just get to the point. I am what you'd call an ESPer.”

 

I bit my tongue at the irony of this situation. Aliens, Time Travellers, and ESPers, three of the things related to what Haruhi was looking for were under the SOS Brigade’s roof, and she didn’t even know it.

 

That is, of course, if all three were telling the truth.

 

“You see, Suzumiya-san is special, in a sense. Three years ago, as our intelligence suggests, her father disappeared from unknown circumstances, leaving his duel deck for Haruhi. The moment she touched it, she somehow gained the ability to alter her surroundings, like a god of sorts. She became our focus ever since.”

 

"So, she's somehow both a step in evolution, a time anomaly, and God at the same time."

 

"We're not sure what she became, but we believe it has something to do with something that happened five millennia ago, in Egypt."

 

Egypt again?

 

"Well, maybe a dramatic explanation would help you out on it. You see, Five Thousand Years ago, Egyptian Kings found a way to access the powers of the soul. using these powers, they set up small rights of passage called, 'Shadow Games.' But they proved unstable, so a brave pharaoh locked them away within seven items that were not to be found for all eternity. But, after Five thousand years, a card game appeared that was based off these shadow games. Duel Monsters. These Items disappeared some time ago. However, another, related prophecy involving the Envoys has unfolded. For the most part, we don't look much into it."

 

“So what’s my part in all this?” Perhaps I could get a straight answer out of this one.

 

“We’re not sure.”

 

Or maybe not.

 

“Okay, if you’re an ESPer, then prove it.” I set my cup down and glared at him, “Reheat this cup of coffee.”

 

“I can’t do that,” he said simply, “You see, in order for us to use our powers certain conditions have to be met. However, I believe these conditions will be met soon.” He stood from her seat and smiled that same plastic smile, “Until then, you’ll just have to take my word for it, Kyon.”

 

As he walked away my brain was reeling from had had happened over the past few days. Strange occurances were popping up everywhere. Even if they weren’t telling the truth, what were the odds of getting three crazy people under one roof? Not exactly astronomical that’s for sure. Maybe I should have gone to see a shrink, but then again, that probably wouldn’t have helped.

 

Haruhi Suzumiya, what have you gotten me into?

 

 

[spoiler=Chapter 4]Duel 4: of Ponytails and Dragons

 

Haruhi faced off against the man in the white coat. Behind her, was Blue-Eyes White Dragon. Behind him... was a trio of them.

 

"Polymerization!"

 

As the trio of Dragons fused into one, massive three-headed dragon, Haruhi looked at her Blue-Eyes. The three-headed dragon fired three blasts from all of its heads...

 

and then, I woke up from that nightmare.

-----------------------------------------------

My usual trek to school was not plagued by Taniguchi's romantic ramblings that morning, and it was for the better, as the dream I just had still invaded my thoughts. I approached the school gate almost hesitantly. I tried to just shake my head, smile, and walk in, but I found it extremely difficult.

 

Ever since Haruhi came into my life, things were getting stranger every day, and I would be lying if I said it wasn't confusing me.

 

The shoe locker room was strangely quiet that day, despite the scuffling of various students retrieving their footwear. I opened my designated locker and was suprised by what I found. A folded piece of paper.

 

What the heck was the fascination with leaving notes in people's shoe lockers?

 

Kyon,

 

After school, Mr. Okabe's classroom.

-------------------------------------------------

Well that was pretty straightforward.

 

The day slugged by after that, and I couldn't find it in me to truly listen to Haruhi's ramblings during class, the note was bugging me way too much. I immediately took to narrowing down the list, Nagato-san just would have let me borrow one of her many books. Asahina-san would probably write something on pretty looking stationary, and Haruhi?

 

She would be more likely to grab my tie and run off with me somewhere before screaming in my face what she wanted to tell me.

 

Itsuki Koizumi?

 

After a moment of thought I shook my head, he would have whispered in my ear again most likely, his face way too close for my liking.

 

No, this was someone else entirely, and more, it obviously had nothing to do with the brigade.

 

"Hey, Kyon, you listening?"

 

I turned and saw Haruhi, a slightly frustrated frown on her face, "What is it Haruhi?"

 

"I was just telling you I had a weird dream last night, I think I was abducted or something."

 

Why did she sound so excited about being carted off on an alien space ship?

 

"I remember, a guy in a white coat, and a massive, three-headed dragon."

 

What? The same dream I had?

 

"Anyways!" she continued, "I've got some new outfits for Asahina-san to try! By the way, you have any ideas on her new hairstyle?"

 

"How about a ponytail?"

 

"Why?"

 

"... they turn me on ..."

 

"Uh huh."

------------------------------

The day drew on, as well as the club meeting, and the note never left my mind once. Now that I had eliminated the possibility of it being one of the brigade my curiosity was getting the better of me. I simply had not choice but to show now, so after the club meeting, instead of going home I went straight to Mr. Okabe's class room. The sun had just started setting, casting an almost beautiful orange light through the window of the class. I walked in slowly, wondering what was in store for me. I didn't expect to see the person who was now standing across from me.

 

"Kyon," said Ryoko Asakura, nodding her head politely, "I am glad that you showed."

 

It was you...

 

"Yes. Are you surprised?"

 

Very. What did you want to see me for?

 

"Well... it's actually about Suzumiya-san. Tell me," Ryoko replied, "What do you think of her?"

 

Not Suzumiya again. So, is she a slider, time-traveller, ESPer, or alien?

 

"I've been observing your friendship with Haruhi. It's... interesting to say the least. She's different. More different then she realizes. And that... white dragon."

 

Blue-Eyes? The card's related?

 

"My superiors believe it's related to an ancient prophecy, involving her... and you."

 

Yep. ESPer. Maybe.

 

"You see, I've grown tired of watching something that never changes. Therefore, I'll duel you. Winner lives."

 

Lives? Okay... Fine. I got my deck out, and grabbed my duel disk out of my backpack.

 

"Fine, if you insist..." I said, "Game Start."

 

Kyon: 4000 LP

Ryoko: 4000 LP

 

"My turn," Ryoko began, "I'll begin by setting one face down monster. Your move, Kyon!"

 

"Fine, my go." I responded, "and I'll summon Abare Ushioni!"

 

A demonic-looking bull appeared in front of me. ATK: 1200.

 

"Abare Ushioni! Charger's Horn!!"

 

Abare Ushioni charged at the face-down monster, destroying it. It appeared to be a white rock.

 

"Thank you, Kyon, for destroying White Stone of Legend. Now, I can look through my deck for one card." Ryoko said, and looked through her deck. I wonder what card she could be looking for.

 

"Fine, I'll end my turn."

 

"Thank you, Kyon. Now, I begin by summoning Kaibaman in attack mode," Ryoko smiled, as a guy in a white trenchcoat (Familiar, ain't it?) appeared in front of her. "Then, I sacrifice him to summon the monster I picked from my deck. I believe you already know him."

 

Know him? From where?

 

"Allow me to jog your memory. He has blue eyes..."

 

Blue... eyes... oh no, it can't be...

 

"...white scales..."

 

Oh god, not him!

 

"... and 3000 attack points."

 

GODGODGODGODGOD!!!

 

"Allow me to introduce you to the original version of Haruhi's Light Envoy... The Blue-Eyes White Dragon."

 

As a familiar, blue-eyed dragon appeared behind her, the feeling of my stomach lurching came back to me. Every part of my mind, every cell, every organ, every limb screamed...

 

RUN.

 

My legs wouldn't move, "A... Asakura-san... how did you get that card...?"

 

"Well, allow me to explain. Like Nagato-san probably told you, I am a humanoid interface," Asakura explained, "As such, I could create a copy of every card I could need to win, like Blue-Eyes White Dragon. Now, I activate a spell card: Burst Stream of Destruction."

 

Burst Stream of Destruction: In addition to being Blue-Eye's most powerful attack, BSD works like the spell card Raigeki, and can destroy all monsters your opponent controls. However, the attack can only be preformed once per turn.

 

The Blue-Eyes White Dragon fires a lighting ball, which destroys Abare Ushioni.

 

"Seeing as there is nothing else I can do, I end my turn." Ryoko smiles. I'm so screwed now.

 

"Uh..." I look over my hand. Can't do anything. "I... skip my turn."

 

God, I'm stupid.

 

"My turn. I play a spell card." Ryoko said, "Polymerization."

 

What?

 

"I fuse Blue-Eyes White Dragon with his wingmates to summon the most powerful monster in the game..." Ryoko explained, "The Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon!"

 

As the three dragons fused, I immediately recognized the monster they became... the one from my dream. What Irony.

 

Wait... his ATK Hologram... says... HOLY CRAP, 4500!!

 

I'm dead.

 

"Now, I finish this duel. Blue-Eyes! Take him out with Neutron Blast."

 

As three streams of lighting hit me, my Life Points hit zero. I lost.

 

So, I guess you win, Asakura. Now what?

 

"You didn't hear my last words before this duel, did you?"

 

Huh?

 

"Now that the duel is over... I'm going to kill you and see how Haruhi reacts."

 

Oh, you make me laugh sometimes, Ryoko.

 

"I wasn't joking." Ryoko said, before producing something that made my world stop.

 

A knife.

 

"W... what are you going to do with that? Stay away from me!"

 

"I'm sorry. I can't. My orders are simple: terminate you. If you won that duel, things would be different."

 

Asakura then charged me with a speed I didn't know she possessed. I'm not a very athletic individual, and I'm certainly not on par with people like Haruhi, but in a situation like this...

 

I ran to the door, narrowly avoiding Asakura's first strike. I jerked the door and pushed, but to my disdain, nothing happened. Then the door simply vanished, and I was staring at a simple grey wall, common throughout the school, yet now an arbiter of my coming death. I turned and back against the wall, trying to gather the willpower to dodge the next strike.

 

"There is no escape," she said gently, "I control all data in this area, nothing can get in or out. Your death is inevitable."

 

"You don't have to do this Asakura-san, please, there's no reason to kill me!"

 

She looked down at the knife and frowned, "I've never really observed a human's emotional data, it doesn't hold very much of interest. I do not understand the concept of death."

 

Another lunge, I barely managed to side step it before running to the back of the class. Suddenly, the world around me exploded and Asakura frowned, "Hmm, perhaps such an unconventional method truly wasn't the best of ideas."

 

The room looked like it had been torn in half at the top, but instead of blue sky I saw nothing but vibrant color, shining so bright it was almost blinding. I looked around myself for something, anything.

 

A desk!

 

In any normal situation I could lift a desk and haul it across the room, but throwing it, especially at that distance, was another feat altogether.

 

All throughout history, when a human's survival instincts kicked in, when you went on nothing but your gut, when you placed your trust in your basest of values, and when adrenaline was coursing through you, the impossible became possible.

 

I picked it up by its legs and tossed it as hard as I could.

 

It stopped just short of Asakura's body and shattered into shrapnel.

 

My eyes widened.

 

Asakura smirked, "Like I have said before, it's no use, Kyon, accept it. You're merely a part of a scientific study."

 

So that was it huh? A science experiment.

 

As the knife came down upon me I closed my eyes tight, bracing for the stinging pain...

 

and it never came.

 

When I opened them I saw one of the most shocking things I had seen since my time at this high school. Nagato stood above me, holding the knife with her bare hand, blood dripping to the floor.

 

Her face was emotionless as always, but her eyes, they held... anger?

 

"You are in violation and have become a liability," said Yuki, "I have been given orders to terminate you."

 

I began to stand, but Nagato grabbed me by the collar and tossed me aside like I was nothing, "Oh?" Asakura sounded curious, "Surely you are curious about this as well Nagato-san, the data explosion would be simply astronomical."

 

Yuki didn't move, "As long as I remain here to observe Suzumiya-san, no harm will befall her or her friends."

 

Asakura smirked and thrust her arms out. Metal spikes seemingly appeared out of nowhere, and they were heading straight for me. Again, the pain never came, and I saw Nagato once again, this time with the multiple spikes protruding from his body. My first thought was that she was going to die, but then she reached up and pulled one out as if it were simply a sliver.

 

Blood was everywhere.

 

Nagato turned and tossed the spike at Asakura, who deflected it, still with a smirk, "It's over Nagato-san, your data is breaking down. You don't have enough fight left in you."

 

Asakura once again casted her hand out, and this time a large metal beam went straight through Nagato's chest. Nagato stood there for a moment, frozen. "It is finished. Data elimination in progress." Nagato reached up and touched the beam and it began to disintigrate into thin air.

 

Asakura stepped back, still smirking, "It's too bad... I would have liked to see the results of my little experiment. I didn't expect you'd be able to hack into my area like that."

 

"The fight was merely buying time," said Nagato.

 

Asakura broke down and vanished, just as the metal beam had but a moment ago. Nagato fell to the ground, and I scrambled to him, "Nagato-san!" I picked his head up and put it in my lap, "Hang in there!"

 

"I am not harmed." She said it as usual, as if it didn't matter there was a huge hole in her chest, "The data must be restored."

 

Before I knew it we were in the middle of a normal class room again, no blood, no holes in our uniforms. No white dragons.

 

No Asakura.

 

"Oh!" Nagato let it out with mild surprise, bringing a hand to her face, "I forgot the glasses."

 

"That's okay," I said with a smile, "You look cuter without them."

 

No reaction... as always.

------------------------------------------

MEANWHILE...

 

"Sir, a Blue-Eyes White Dragon was summoned by someone other then you," A Duel Analyst looked on the Duel-Disk Archive, a program designed to archive all duels that have used Duel Disks.

 

"What? Who was the one summoning it?" a man in a white trenchcoat yelled in surprise.

 

"Ryoko Asakura, sir."

 

"Hm... where is she now?"

 

"She, well... disappeared."

 

"Humanoid interface?"

 

"Possibly. Now, I think that the Duelist named Haruhi Suzumiya is involved indirectly. We may need to keep an eye on her duels."

 

"Suzumiya..." The man said, "That name is shared by the man that has the second white dragon. Keep an eye on her."

 

"Yes, Mr. Kaiba."

 

 

[spoiler=Chapter 5]Duel 5: Secrets of the Envoys

 

My head ached... what the hell was going on?

 

"Get your lazy ass up!"

 

"Can't you let me sleep in peace for once?"

 

"Not if it's in front of the computer. Punishment, PENALTY!"

 

"Haruhi, isn't it enough that you work me to the bone?"

 

"No complaining! You barely get anything done Kyon, if it wasn't for you our website would have taken off like a rocket by now!"

 

SIGH...

 

As Haruhi left to think, I looked at my deck... then noticed it was EXACTLY one card higher. I drew the top card... and saw something that was going to be with me for the rest of my life...

 

Ultimate Tyranno, Envoy of the Earth.

 

"Kyon..." Itsuki spoke. What did he want NOW?

----------------------------

"I hailed a taxi for us," said Koizumi.

 

It was true, right outside the school gate and across the way was a taxi waiting for the both of us. Praying that there was no ulterior motive in the guy's actions, I walked towards it with him, "What is this about?"

 

"The conditions have been met," he said calmly, getting into the rear seat and scooting over to make room for me as well. "I believe I owe you an explanation."

 

Damn right you do.

 

"You already know that Haruhi is special. When her emotions become unstable, the world around her does as well."

 

I shut the door and the taxi began to move, I shot a nervous glance at the driver, as Koizumi was dropping some seriously crazy information in front of a complete stranger. When he continued I shrugged it off, maybe he knew the guy.

 

"An alternate plane is created, we call it 'Closed Space'."

 

"Closed space?"

 

"Yes, it's a simple term, derived from the simple fact that it is closed off from anyone who wishes to enter, aside from espers of course. This Closed Space is where my powers manifest themselves, as you will soon see. In this space are blue giants, The Celestials. They destroy everything around them, taking out Haruhi's frustrations without harming the world that she created."

 

"Hm... So... any of them look like three-headed dragons?"

 

"Eh?"

 

"I saw one in my dreams. Haruhi did too, and I BET it's no coincidence."

 

Hm... seeing that you and Haruhi dreamed the same thing is odd... and of interest. But I digress, this is a conversation for another time." Suddenly, the dark seriousness of his voice was gone, and he once again wore that same plastic smile, "I believe that we have arrived at our destination, Kyon."

 

Stop calling me that.

 

We stepped out of the taxi and into what looked like a major intersection. Itsuki smiled and waved as the taxi drove away. He gestured to the crosswalk in front of us, "Kyon, you're going to have to hold my hand."

 

Whoa now.

 

"Nobody said anything about having to hold hands."

 

"Trust me, it's the only way for you to follow me into the Closed Space, you are not an esper like myself."

 

He held out his hand to me and I gritted my teeth, this was a hundred times worse than when he got too close, but if it was to find out the truth...

 

I reached for his hand and he took it gently, beginning to walk back.

 

A sudden sensation flowed through me, almost as if I had dived into a swiming pool. I gasped for air and released Itsuki's hand, "It takes some getting used to," he said softly, "But it doesn't take long to recover, it's not a violent transferal or anything."

 

When I caught my breath I looked around myself. The surroundings were almost exactly the same, the only differences were that everything was dark, grey, and dull. The people that had been bustling around us a moment before had all vanished, and the activity of the busy intersection ceased to be. "So this is closed space? It seems so... dead."

 

"Indeed... Follow me, it's time to show you what you came here to see."

 

Itsuki led me to a nearby building. Going inside, we climbed to the very top. The roof only made the world seem more surreal, the humming of the ventilation system was absent, and the stillness of it all sent a chill down my spine. I walked to the edge of the roof, towards the tall railing. A rumble, almost like a creature not from this planet, echoed in my ears. In the distance I saw it.

 

The blue giant.

 

The Celestial.

 

It was flailing its arms madly, destroying the buildings around it, demolishing anything and everything it could hit. Itsuki walked to my side, "See its wanton destruction, all of Suzumiya-san's anger and frustration at the world around him, let out in this pure and brutal fury. Suzumiya-san enjoys the current world, so she subconsciously confines the creatures to this Closed Space in order to preserve what is around him. If these Closed Spaces did not exist, the world as we know it would fall into utter chaos. On the contrary, if the Closed Spaces become too great, they would overthrow the very reality around them. Our job as espers is to keep these Closed Spaces from spreading, in order to do that, we destroy the Celestials with our powers."

 

I saw red spheres were beginning to circle the creature, almost as if they were dancing around it. It swatted at them like bothersome flies, but to no avail.

 

"My colleagues," he said softly, "I should join them. Wait here, and observe Kyon."

 

Itsuki's very being began to glow, and a red sphere surrounded her entire body. He slowly began to float into the air, up above the railing, and away towards the Celestial in the distance. The red spheres continued to dance, now joined by their final comrade. An arm was sliced from the creature, then a leg, shortly followed by its severed head. It burst into thousands of particles, reminding me of the time when Nagato had so easily deleted Asakura.

 

"Wow" was all I had to say.

 

"Indeed, Kyon."

 

Huh? Who the heck said that?

"You know, Kyon. Ultimate Tyranno."

WHAT?!

 

"I'm serving as a card spirit. Figured YOU could use my guidance."

 

Shut up.

 

"Who are you talking to, Kyon?" Itsuki asked.

 

Uh... myself.

 

"Why?"

 

Penchant for Intelligent Conversation.

 

"Uh-huh... Now," he said softly, "Watch what happens next."

 

I heard a loud crack. I looked up to the sky and what I saw surprised me. The sky itself looked like it had been broken, and sunlight was leaking in through the grey. It cracked again, and again.

 

Everything went white.

 

And we were once again in the intersection bustling with people, "So now you see," said Itsuki happily, walking towards me and leaning forward, "My role is a very important one."

 

Your face is way too close.

 

"I concur."

--------------------------------

 

"There are rumors going all over the school about you two, Kyon."

 

I shrugged, let them talk, the SOS Brigade thing was my business, if people wanted their gossip so badly then who was I to take it away from them, "Oh yeah?" I inquired, "What kind of rumors exactly?"

 

Taniguchi leaned over the lunch table and Kunikida got a worried look on his face. "Well," whispered Taniguchi, "They say that you and Suzumiya-san are... dating."

 

He said the word like it was absolutely forbidden. I rolled my eyes, "One, we're not in kindergarten anymore, it's okay to date girls. Two, If it weren't for the club, Haruhi and I wouldn't even go near each other. Three, I wouldn't date that girl if you gave me a million dollars."

 

"You said it, Kyon."

 

Taniguchi grinned, "You talked to her first," he said slyly, "Before she even made that stupid club."

 

Dammit it was true, I did initiate conversation with her our first day at school. For some odd and unknown reason, I kept talking to her, even though her behavior creeped me out a bit. Although, looking back on it now, Haruhi's reasoning wasn't so far off the mark. What were the chances of an alien, esper, AND time-traveler all joining her little club, unless she herself was supernatural as well? These three were in her very own club, and she didn't even realize that some of the keys to what she spent all her time searching for was right in front of her all along. I frowned, thinking of telling her, after all, she was pretty much devoting her life to this chase.

 

What do I care anyways? It's not like I give a crap if she finds what she's looking for!

 

Haruhi's little adventures could go stuff themselves as far as I was concerned.

 

"Hey, by the way... think we could get a look at Haruhi's so-called ultimate monster?" Kunikida asked.

 

"Hm... How about I show you the card in action?"

 

"Hm..." Taniguchi thought, "Sure..."

-------------------------------------

We ran to the courtyard to Duel Haruhi... only to find she was a little preoccupied... With Seto Kaiba?

 

"You wanted a duel, Seto Kaiba?" Haruhi asked her opponent, "Looks like you're over your head."

 

I looked at her field... well, Taniguchi got what he wanted.

 

"And this duel will end just like your last one: You losing." Kaiba responded.

Kaiba: 1300 LP

Suzumiya: 2200 LP

 

Kaiba's turn.

 

"Well, looks like after this, it's not just going to be Yugi who defeated you." Haruhi taunted. Kaiba also had HIS Blue-Eyes out (Normal, I believe.)

 

Looking between each Blue-Eyes, I noticed several differences. Haruhi's Blue-Eyes was slightly smaller then Kaiba's, but the top-back spike of his side crests were longer. He also has a spike on the underside of both arms, which jutted backwards.

 

"Go ahead, be smug. But know this," Kaiba said, "You may possess one Blue-Eyes... but I possess something even stronger then him. The mightiest dragon of all existence."

 

Oh no. Haruhi's doomed.

 

"I activate Polymerization, fusing my three dragons together..." Kaiba proclaimed, as a familiar three-headed dragon appeared, "To form Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon!"

 

ATK: 4500 (Ryoko would definitely get a kick out of this.)

 

"Now, your turn, Haruhi. I hope you'll understand that I'm being generous here." Kaiba simply said.

 

"Fine," Haruhi said, "I think that I'll remove every one of my Light Monsters from my graveyard."

 

"Why?" Kaiba asked.

 

"Because by doing that... I can increase Envoy Blue-Eye's Attack Points, 500 for each and every one of them! And since I had seven light monsters from my graveyard, that's 3500 right off the bat!" Haruhi smirked.

 

Envoy Blue-Eyes rose into the air, yelling (good lord, it could talk), "Resonance of LIGHT!!!"

 

As Envoy Blue-Eye's ATK meter hit 6500, I could see several changes in appearance. For one, His arm-spikes flipped forward and became HUGE blades, and his wings began to glow. And the Japanese Kanji for light appeared on his chest and head.

 

"Envoy Blue-Eyes... Attack Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon, and end this duel!"

 

"Yes, Brigade Chief!" It responded, before charging at Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon... and lifting it into the air, slashing at it with its blades and then kicking BEUD in the air.

 

Then, a bright blue blast fired from the Envoy's mouth, as the creature yelled, "Burst Stream of Annihilation!!!!!!!!"

 

BEUD was taken out in one attack, taking Kaiba's Life Points with it.

 

"Well..." Kaiba commented, "You were just as effective as your old man. I'm going to leave before Paparazzi show up."

 

Kaiba hopped into a dragon-shaped jet and flew off.

 

Haruhi simply said, "Later, Kaiba! It's been fun!"

 

Well, all's well that ends well.

 

"You've said it."

 

Shut up.

 

 

By the way, All cards that have premired on this fanfic can be found here.

[Brushfire]

It sound like a shorter version of the original Haruhi Suzumiya, except it lacks the description of characters and throw Duel Monsters in. It reminds me of the original light novels, except you have Kyon's character wrong. He never voices is real opinion ("You are one sick girl Suzumiya!" I shouted, "First, you get me involved in your escapades, and now her! Are you some sort of bisexual rapist or something?!"), and if he does it's watered down and nothing like that.

 

So yeah... I'll still be watching this. Good luck.

[Guest NeoBlueDragon]

It sound like a shorter version of the original Haruhi Suzumiya' date=' except it lacks the description of characters and throw Duel Monsters in. It reminds me of the original light novels, except you have Kyon's character wrong. He never voices is real opinion ("You are one sick girl Suzumiya!" I shouted, "First, you get me involved in your escapades, and now her! Are you some sort of bisexual rapist or something?!"), and if he does it's watered down and nothing like that.

 

So yeah... I'll still be watching this. Good luck.

[/quote']

 

Well, this Kyon is slightly off-character at first (Being more likely to yell his opinions) before he becomes a bit more... Kyon-like, eventually.

 

PS: Yes, I altered Attack Guidance Armor's effect in chapter 2. Deal with it.

[Brushfire]

Yeah, I realised.

And how come FanFiction.net has 4 Chapters of this already and we only have one? D:

[Guest NeoBlueDragon]

Simplicity Reasons.

[Kaisu]

Put them in a spoiler, and stick as many of them into one post.

[Guest NeoBlueDragon]

Chapters 6-10

 

[spoiler=Chapter 6]Duel 6: A Duel in Queen Elizabeth's Court.

 

I didn't know how it happened, or why it did. But now, I was dueling... her.

 

I'm getting afraid of myself. Allow me to explain...

"No, Allow ME, Kyon!"

 

No, I'm the narrator, I explain.

"But... But... but..."

 

You'll have your chance. On with my tale...

 

... It was a bright, sunny afternoon, and I was at the SOS Brigade meeting, and-

 

"Oh, for the love of... Okay, Kyon waited until Haruhi left, then asked Mikuru how she time-travelled. She explained that she used Takyon Particles to break the time barrier using the TPDD. It then somehow malfunctioned, sending the entire SOS Brigade to Elizabethan Times. Now, Can I narrate this thing?"

 

... Baka. Okay, continuing from where Tyranno left off...

 

"Kyon, what the hell happened?" Haruhi yelled.

 

"I don't know!" I quickly lied.

 

"Uh, guys?" Itsuki said, "We're surrounded."

 

By thirteen royal guards, no less.

 

"Strangers," One guard said, "We need to take you to the queen. Will you comply?"

 

"Nope!" Haruhi yelled, looking desperately for a way out.

 

"Very well. Guards, seize them and take them to the queen," One of them ordered. We were marched off to Queen Elizabeth's castle... well, Haruhi was dragged, kicking and screaming.

----------------------

At the Queen's Castle, We were let out of the Guard's line of sight... and into the queen's.

 

"What are these beings?" The Queen asked.

 

"Forgive us, Queen Elizabeth," I bowed, "My name is Kyon. We come from a time beyond this one, known simply as 2009. This is Haruhi Suzumiya, Mikuru Asahina, Yuki Nagato, and Itsuki Koizumi."

 

"Hello, Mr. Kyon," Queen Elizabeth responded, before focusing her eyes on my belt. "What is that on your trousers?"

 

"Oh, this is a deck box, where I put my deck of Duel Monsters Cards."

 

"Duel Monsters..." The Queen parroted, "... Your future has that, too?"

 

Huh?

 

"Present the royal cards!" The Queen said, as a man walked in... with a Duel Monsters deck?

 

"I hope the rules of the future are as they are here, Kyon," The Queen stood, "As my daughter, Kiera, is an avid player, and she has had no challenge until now."

 

As I watched a young girl enter the room, I noticed her similarities to Asahina-san... in fact, only her clothes and hair color differentiated her from Asahina-san. I hope I'm ready for this.

 

Noticing two tables being placed on either side of the room, with the Queen's throne exactly between them. As the princess and I sat down and placed our decks on the tables. What I noticed was that a green jemstone was on the other side of my table. I didn't know why they were spaced apart, but I was cautious.

 

“Gentlemen,” she addressed us, “you will now cut and shuffle each other’s decks, then take your seats. The player who goes first will be decided by the flip of a gold piece. Miss Nagato, if you'll please."

 

A coin flip by Yuki later, I was the first to duel.

 

Kyon: 2000 LP

Princess Kiera: 2000 LP

 

Kyon's turn.

 

"I'll draw... and summon a monster to the field." I said, "Hitotsu-me Giant (1200/1000)!"

 

In an instant, a huge, green cyclops appeared in front of me... and it was real.

 

What the?!

 

“Nothing you need to fret about, Mr Kyon,” said the Queen, “it is simply the magic of the Fairy Gems on your tables. This is no mere card game to be played across a table. This is how the game's creators intended Duel Monsters to be played. Now, continue your turn.”

 

"I... then set two cards, and end my turn." I responded. "Your move, Kiera."

 

"If you are done..." The Princess hissed, drawing a card, "I believe I'll play the field card, Warrior's Arena!"

 

At once, the Throne Room became a huge, Roman arena. Sitting in the bleachers were several duel monsters, all yelling, "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!"

 

"When this card is in play, We each can normal summon up to three times," The Princess explained, "And I'll summon Gladiator Beasts Laquari (1800/400), and Andal (1900/1500)!"

 

As a Tiger-man hybrid and a black bear appeared in front of her, I knew Hitotsu-Me was dead... or was he?

 

"Andal!" The Princess yelled, "destroy his Hitotsu-Me Giant!"

 

As the bear charged, I activated Trap 1.

 

"I activate my first Trap: DNA Surgery!"

DNA Surgery: This card allows you to select one type of monster, and turn every monster into that type.

 

"I think Fiend would be a good choice, wouldn't you agree?" I smirked. As I saw my now-demonic Giant be killed by a giant demon-bear, I took the opportunity to activate my second trap: "Deck Destruction Virus!"

 

As a set of clear tendrils draped upon Kiera's deck, they placed ten cards into her graveyard.

 

"What be this?!" Kiera yelled.

 

Oh, nothing. Just a virus killing ten cards in your deck.

 

"Fine. I'll end my turn."

 

Kyon: 3300 LP

 

My turn. I drew a card, then... "I summon... My OWN Gladiator Beast Andal!"

 

As a black bear similar to her Andal materialized, I noticed slight differences. One of them was that while my Andal was a bit slack, hers had obviously experience, evident in his left eye, which had been gouged out.

 

"And I'll attack... YOUR Andal!"

 

The bears winded up killing each other.

 

"And why did you do that?"

 

For this reason only: "I remove Hitotsu-Me Giant and Andal... to summon Ultimate Tyranno, Envoy of the Earth (3000/2200)!"

 

Behind me, a giant Tyrannosaurus-like monster appeared, roaring in triumph.

 

"AUGH!!!" The Princess yelled in surprise.

 

"Now, UT, Attack Laquari!"

 

Lunging forward, Ultimate Tyranno killed Laquari with one swipe.

 

Kiera: 2800 LP

 

"Next, I'll play Monster Reborn to bring Andal from your graveyard, then attack!"

 

her Andal appeared, then swiped at the Princess, drawing blood.

 

Kiera: 900 LP

 

"And to bring it all to a head, I'll summon one more monster: Abare Ushioni!"

 

As a red bull appeared in front of me, I smirked.

 

"Now, Attack with Charger's Horn!"

 

The Bull charged, hitting Kiera's table and knocking it over.

 

Kiera: 0 LP

 

Everything disappeared, Ultimate Tyranno, Andal, Abare Ushioni, the stadium, everything returned to the Throne Room.

 

Some guy emerged from behind the Queen’s chair to declare the winner.

 

“The victory goes to Mr Kyon,” he said.

 

"Well," The Princess smiled, "That was fun! Now, I'm sure you need to go home, but we should duel again, sometime!"

 

"Sorry," I replied, "But it's doubtful we'll see each other again."

 

"Well, I hope your doubts aren't well placed!"

 

Just then everything faded back to our clubroom, in 2009.

 

"Huh?" Haruhi managed to say, "What happened?"

 

"You fell asleep, Suzumiya-san," Asahina-san lied, "I guess tea makes you drowsy."

 

"Okay," Haruhi muttered, "You're dismissed."

------------------------------

As I walked home, I walked past a Kiera look-alike.

 

Well, I'm guessing something's always around the corner.

 

"Hey, can I narrate the next chapter?"

 

Shut up, Tyranno.

 

 

[spoiler=Chapter 7]Duel 7: The Teenage Girl Squad VS The SOS Brigade

 

It was after school when I walked into the SOS Brigade Clubroom...

 

"Okay, I'll narrate, 'K?"

 

Shut up, Tyranno. Now, I entered the room to meet a full blast of...

 

"I'M BORED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

 

That came from Haruhi.

 

"Why hasn't there been anybody signing up that I didn't voluntarily arrest?! Nobody's entered! WHAT’S WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?! HAVE THEY HAD NO HEARTS TO JOIN THE SOS BRIGADE! I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR 24/7! THIS SUCKS! I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm FREAKING BORRRRRRRRED!!!!!!"

 

Yep, gone into a rant.

 

"If you must know," Yuki answered her, "Most of the female population that hasn't joined another club has joined a girl's only club, named the Teenage Girl Squad."

 

"Unacceptable! We need more members, and we'll have to eliminate that threat!" Haruhi declared, "Yuki, Mikuru, Kyon! Come with me!"

 

Okay, we're doomed.

---------------------------

As we walked for the TGS clubroom, Yuki seemed uncertain about something.

 

"What's on your mind, Nagato?" I asked.

 

"Well," Yuki answered, "I was busy conserving energy in 'Sleep mode', when someone of unknown origin left behind a Duel Monster's deck. For the most part, it consists of Water monsters... including an Envoy."

 

Envoy?!

 

"Well, Three Envoys under one roof. Coincidence, or something more?"

 

Shut up, Tyranno.

 

"So, Nagato." I said, "Can I see this Envoy?"

 

"Not yet."

 

Why not?

 

"Secret."

----------------------------

As we busted into the room, Haruhi yelled, "We're the SOS Brigade! We've come to talk to your leader!"

 

"That would be me," A green-haired girl of about 18 appeared, "Yuriko Tsuruya! But you can call me Tsuruya-san, Nyoro!"

 

"We've become aware that you have managed to amass half of the female student population," Haruhi got to the point.

 

"And this concerns you because?"

 

"Because we need members, Tsuruya." Haruhi stated, omitting the '-san' honorific.

 

"True... but it's not my problem, nyoro. Now go away," Tsuruya stated, "I have megas-big things in mind for today's activities."

 

"Listen," Haruhi growled at her, "I'm willing to voluntarily arrest any of your club members. So, will you comply... or should I just voluntarily arrest you right now?!"

 

"... I guess I should take caution," Tsuruya said, grimly, "Very well. Have one of your subordinates meet me on the roof, 1:00 sharp. We'll discuss matters there. Oh, and I do recommend bringing your deck."

 

"See you there."

---------------------------

Later...

---------------------------

As Yuki and I walked to the roof, I became increasingly worried. Why did Yuriko Tsuruya want us to bring our decks? What did she hope to obtain from that? And why did I feel like I'm being led to a trap?

 

"Because you are, moron."

 

Shut up, Tyranno.

-------------------

On the roof, was none other then Tsuruya-san, wearing her North-High uniform... and a standard Duel Disk with green trim. I knew something was up.

 

"Now, I see Haru-nyan got TWO lackeys here," Tsuruya smirked, "Such a shame."

 

"Save us the pleasantries," Yuki responded, "And let's get down to business."

 

"Okay, If I win, You'll join. If You win, I will make half of my members deflect. And when they'll be fair game."

 

Donning a Duel Disk, Yuki stepped up to the proverbial "plate" and set her deck into said Duel Disk.

 

"Alright, let's duel, nyoro!" Tsuruya smiled, activating her duel disk.

 

"My sentiments exactly," Yuki monotoned.

 

Nagato: 4000 LP

Tsuruya: 4000 LP

 

Tsuruya's turn.

 

"My turn!" Tsuruya began by drawing a card, "And I think you're about to enter a world where the sun smiles upon you! A world of humor and insanity! You're about to enter... Toon World!"

 

As a green book hovered above Tsuruya, she smiled.

 

"It may cost me a forth of my life points, but it's worth it! Your turn, Nyoro!"

 

Tsuruya: 3000 LP

 

"If so..." Yuki drew a card, "I'll begin by summoning Warrior of Atlantis (1900/1200) in defensive position."

 

As a blue-skinned humanoid materialized, Yuki set two face down cards.

 

"I believe it's your turn."

 

"Oh, you didn't attack? Big Mistake, Nyoro!" Tsuruya smiled, "I'll draw... and summon Blue-Eyes Toon Dragon (3000/2500), Toon Summoned Skull (2500/1200), and Toon Dark Magician Girl (2000/I700)!"

 

As three cartoon versions of Blue-Eyes, Summoned Skull, and Dark Magician Girl appeared, I realized something.

 

"Wait a moment! You just summoned Three high-level monsters in one turn! Without tributes!"

 

"Yeah," Tsuruya said, "So?"

 

"Analysis," Yuki responded, "Against the rules."

 

"Screw the rules!" Tsuruya reacted, "I have money! And Green hair! TDMG! Attack her Warrior and bring shame upon her head! Shadow Mallet!"

 

The DMG ripoff hit Warrior of Atlantis over the head, killing him instantly.

 

"Now, BETD and TSS, your turn! Demon Claw! Burst Stream!"

 

As the attacks reached Yuki...

 

"Activate Traps," Yuki monotoned, "Scrap Iron Scarecrows!"

 

The attacks were blocked by twin metallic scarecrows. Her life points were safe.

 

"And I believe the effects of your Toon Monsters," Yuki continued, "Seeing that they cannot attack without you losing 500 life points each, adding up to 1000 LP."

 

Tsuruya: 2000 LP

 

"My turn. I'll begin by playing Dark Core." Yuki said, "At the cost of one card from my hand, It will remove one monster on your field. And I will remove Blue-Eyes Toon Dragon."

 

As the Toon Blue-Eyes faded, I sensed that Yuki had a plan...

 

"And now," Yuki stated, "I'll remove Warrior of Atlantis and the card I discarded, Water Spirit, to summon Spiral Serpent, Envoy of the Ocean (2900/2900)."

 

As a giant plesiosaur emerged from... somewhere, the demon and spell-caster screamed in fear.

 

"But I won't attack just yet. First, I play Spell Shattering Arrow."

 

An arrow came flying out of nowhere, hitting Toon World... and destroying it, killing Toon Summoned Skull and Toon Dark Magician Girl in the process.

 

"Holy (BEEP) on a (BLEEP) Sandwich!" Tsuruya screamed, "I'm doomed!"

 

"Attack," Yuki monotoned, as Spiral Serpent obeyed, generating a tornado from water in the atmosphere.

 

The tornado hit Tsuruya, causing her to fly back a short distance... somehow.

 

"OW! Teh Payn!" Tsuruya yelled.

 

It's just a hologram, isn't it?

Tsuruya: 0 LP

"Game Over." Yuki monotoned. "Now, reject half your members immediately."

 

"Heh... when I said that, I crossed my fingers behind my back. That means they're still members of the TGS, Nyoro!" Tsuruya laughed in triumph.

 

"Unfortunately, I detect a dark force corrupting you." Yuki said, before laying a finger on her forehead, "Initiate Mind Modification."

 

After a minute, Yuki removed her finger.

 

"Wow... suddenly I feel bad about my actions," Tsuruya mused, "I'm breaking up the Teenage Girl Squad."

 

And so, the Teenage Girl Squad broke apart, and there was much rejoicing.

----------------------

"YES! NOW WE HAVE MORE OPPORTUNITIES TO GET MEMBERS! WHOO-HOO!" Haruhi shouted in triumph.

 

KNOCK KNOCK.

 

"Huh?" Haruhi questioned the knocking, "I wonder who that could be. Mikuru, answer the door."

 

"Hai!" Mikuru responded.

 

She opened the door to a man in sunglasses, a tux, and a single spike in his hair.

 

"Attention Duelists!" The man proclaimed, "My Hair has invited you to the New Duelist Kingdom Tournament!"

 

His hair invites people to tournaments?

 

"My Hair also has a package containing the brochure for the Tournament." The man stated, "Here you go."

 

As he handed Mikuru a package, I felt the hairs on the back of my neck raise up. Something was up... and I want to know what...

"So, what did I miss?"

 

Shut up, Tyranno.

 

[spoiler=Chapter 8]Duel 8: The Duelist Kingdom Tournament begins! Rise of the Red Dragon

 

After opening the package, Haruhi found six invitations, all of them with our names on them... except the sixth, which was titled to Yuriko Tsuruya.

 

"A tournament on a distant Island..." Haruhi read aloud, "Where you'll find speed, power, imagination, and freedom. Meet new people, see new things, and attempt to win it all! SOS Brigade, We're going to Duelist Kingdom!"

 

"Um... I don't know if my dad would allow it," I lied.

 

"Nonsense, Kyon! I don't care if you had to sneak out of there. You're coming with us, and that's final!"

 

Not likely, Haruhi. You'll see...

---------------------

LATER THAT NIGHT...

 

I was on the computer, when I turned... to see a very familiar man...

 

"ATTENTION, Duelist! My hair is kidnapping you!"

 

Oh sheet.

---------------------

EVEN LATER THAT NIGHT...

 

I was tossed onto the boat to Duelist Kingdom, along with a bunch of stuff that the hair guy packed while I was in a concussion.

 

"Well, this sucks."

 

You've said it, Tyranno. Now, let's find Haruhi.

-----------------------

As we looked around for Haruhi... I bumped into a girl, tripping and knocking her over.

 

"ACK!"

 

Sorry about that.

 

"It's okay," The girl responded, "I can understand."

 

Thanks for understanding.

"Holy sheet, she's hot."

 

Shut up Tyranno.

 

"Hey..." The girl responded, "You have A Duel Spirit?"

 

She knows of Tyranno's existence?

"How the F*** did she know?!"

 

"Well, I have a duel spirit, too." The girl responded, "Here she is, Harpie Girl!"

 

At once, a monster that could be best described as a mini-Harpie Lady appeared next to her. Tyranno's eyes bugged out, and his nose spouted blood.

 

"Tee-hee!" Harpie Girl reacted, "You're funny, Barney!"

 

Barney?

 

"I'd be insulted by that disgrace to the dinosaurs, but I honestly don't care right now. Your chest... so much bigger then Haruhi's."

 

Oh great, My Duel Spirit is a pervert...

 

... and speaking of Haruhi...

 

"KYON?! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?!" I heard Haruhi yell from somewhere down the hall.

 

Well, I have to go. Later, uh...

 

"Just call me Keiko."

 

... Keiko-san.

----------------------------

"I swear, Kyon. The fact that I had to report your absence to the hair guy is unacceptable."

 

Haruhi, I didn't WANT to be involved in this tournament. I didn't WANT to be in the SOS Brigade. I didn't WANT to be involved in ANY of this!

 

"Doesn't matter. What matters is HERE, and NOW!"

 

Where's a knife when you need one?

 

"Why, you want to kill Haruhi?"

 

No, I've become an Emo. Now, where're my black clothes?

----------------------------

After a short bout of whining about my life to random strangers, I eventually decided to go get drunk... Until someone tapped my shoulder.

 

"Eh?" I said, and turned to a small man, about my shoulder height, "What do you want?"

 

"I want to duel," The man simply replied.

"Something about this guy tells me Dueling him is not a good idea."

 

"Fine," I said, "I need something to do."

--------------------------

As we stood on the deck of the ship that was taking us to Duelist Kingdom, I began to wonder if I made a good choice.

 

"Okay," I said, "Let the games begin!"

 

"Very well," My opponent responded, "Yami no Game start."

Kyon: 4000 LP

Unknown person: 4000 LP

 

"I will start," The man began, "I summon Blizzard Lizard (600/1800), Defensive mode."

 

As a furry lizard appeared in front of me, I feel something bad about to happen. But heck, I'll take a shot.

 

"I summon... Gladiator Beast Andal (1900/1500) in attack mode!"

 

As a familiar Black Bear appeared out of nowhere, I smiled.

 

"Andal, how about we send that lizard to the bottom of the ocean?"

 

Andal nodded, then swiped at Blizzard Lizard, swatting it past me, as it CLAWED at me to stop it's flying... and I FELT it!

 

"What the hell?"

 

"Blizzard Lizard's effect," The man spoke, "is that you take 300 points of damage when it is destroyed."

 

Kyon: 3700 LP

 

"My turn. I think I'll play... Monster Reborn to revive Blizzard Lizard!"

 

As the lizard crawled back to his original position, this time walking with a crutch, I stifled a laugh back.

 

"Next, I play Ice Mirror!"

Ice Mirror: If you have a Water Monster on the field, you can summon another, Identical monster.

 

As another Blizzard Lizard appeared out of nowhere, I began to wonder if he had a furry lizard fetish.

 

"And, I tribute one Blizzard Lizard to summon Quick Synchron (700/1400)!"

 

As the crutch Blizzard Lizard turned into a Cowboy-esk Character, I began to wonder.

 

What are you planning?

 

"Heh heh heh," The man replied, "You see, Quick Synchron is a very special type of monster. Very few have seen them in action, or even heard about them. Quick Synchron... is a Tuner Monster."

 

... so?

 

"Allow me to demonstrate. Quick Synchron (LV 5), Blizzard Lizard (LV 3), activate Tuning!"

 

As Quick Synchron turned into 5 rings that surrounded Blizzard Lizard, the man chanted.

 

"As heart and soul evolve, power erupts. Chaos and Greed become no more! And a divine dragon rules above all! SYNCHRO SUMMON! Fallen Soul, Red Dragon Archfiend (3000/2000)!"

 

As a huge, red-and-black dragon appeared out of nowhere, I gulped. This was going to be trouble...

To be continued...

 

[spoiler=Chapter 9]Duel 9: Duelist Kingdom Island!

 

"You're doomed to failure," My opponent smirked, As his Red Dragon Archfiend (3000/2000) stood, poised for attack my Gladiator Beast Andal (1900/1500).

 

Kyon: 3700 LP

Unknown Duelist: 4000 LP

 

"I think that attacking Andal would announce your arrival. Red Dragon Archfiend!"

 

RDA nodded, then fired a blast from his mouth at Andal. Andal erupted into flames.

Kyon: 2600 LP

 

"I believe it's your turn," The man smirked. It's like I'm dueling an evil Koizumi.

 

"Fine, My go," I drew a card. Looking at it, it was none other then my old friend.

 

"I set one card in defense mode, and one face-down. Make your turn."

 

"Very well. RDA, kill that face-down!"

 

Red Dragon Archfiend attacked my face-down monster.

 

"Triggered a spell," I said, "Shrink!"

 

Shrink: This card halves a monster's ATK.

 

Red Dragon Archfiend: 1500 ATK.

 

"And the card you're attacking is..." I smiled, "Crystal Beast Amber Mammoth (1700/1600)!"

 

Unknown: 3900 LP

 

"Oh well. By the way, when Red Dragon Archfiend attacks a defense monster, even if he loses, it dies ANYWAY!"

 

As Amber Mammoth is destroyed automatically, I shrug. At least it benefits me another way...

 

"My turn!" I say, unusually enthusiastic, as I drew a card.

 

"Now, I play... Dark Core! Now, I discard one card from my hand to my graveyard to remove Red Dragon Archfiend from play!"

 

As Red Dragon Archfiend fades away, I smirk.

 

"Next, I remove Amber Mammoth and Andal from my graveyard to summon... Ultimate Tyranno, Envoy of the Earth! (3000/2200)"

 

As my spirit partner seemingly became flesh and blood, I smiled.

 

"And to top it off, I'll play Axe of Despair!"

 

Axe of Despair: Adds 1000 ATK to the monster equipped with it.

As a huge axe landed into Ultimate Tyranno's hands, Tyranno smiled.

 

"Now, Ultimate Tyranno, attack his Life Points!"

 

"Right!" Tyranno smiled, then swung his axe at the duelist.

Unknown Duelist: 0 LP.

 

"Game over!" I smiled, glad it was over.

 

"Well..." The man said, pulling off the hood that I neglected to mention, to reveal... a blonde-haired guy about my age. "You've won. Koizumi told me much about you, I just didn't believe it until now."

 

... and you would be?

 

"They call me Saikou Araka, of the 'Agency'. I work with Itsuki Koizumi in the observation of Haruhi Suzumiya."

 

Looking at him, I noticed something.

 

"I remember bumping into you earlier. Only... you were a red-head." I commented.

 

"You must have bumped into my twin brother, Murudo Araka. He works with me and Koizumi, and is a bit of a spaz. So, don't mind him."

 

"Kyon, I think Haruhi might be looking for you."

 

"Well, it's been nice seeing you, and have a nice life," I said quickly, then running away.

------------------------

"Kyon, We're here." Haruhi stated, even though I could obviously see Duelist Kingdom.

 

Getting off the boat, I could see Saikou, Joey Wheeler, Mai Valentine, Yugi Moto, Bandit Keith, and any other great duelist... except Kaiba, for some reason.

 

"Attention, Duelists!" The hair guy yelled at the crowd, "Please walk up this REALLY long staircase to meet in the meeting hall! And you!" He continued, catching me looking at him, "Stop looking at my hair."

 

Oh, sorry.

 

As we walked up the staircase, Asahina-san was looking over her deck again. I looked over her shoulder...

 

... it was a different deck from last time. Apparently, it was a Fire deck.

 

"Well, what do you know? A nice contrast to Yuki's deck. I wonder if they'll ever duel."

 

I was just wondering the same thing.

 

"Kyon-kun..."

 

I turned to the person who said that.

 

Keiko-san.

 

"... so, these guys your companions?"

 

"Yep!" Haruhi answered for me, "I'm Haruhi Suzumiya, this is Yuki, Mikuru, Tsuruya, and Itsuki!"

 

"Hey! Nice to meet you all! I'm Keiko Rhodes."

 

Rhode-san.

----------------------

We got to the Meeting Hall. As soon as the doors closed, a booming voice sounded.

 

"Welcome, Duelists! To the New Duelist Kingdom tournament! Now presenting the creator of Duel Monsters, Maximillion Pegasus!"

 

"Loud, ain't it?"

 

As a very famous man appeared on the stage in front of us, Everyone cheered.

 

"Geez. This guy creeps me out. Is he gay?"

 

Shut up, Tyranno.

 

"Greetings, one and all! Alright, as you know, I have invited you because you are among the best of the best around the world. Your goal is simple: win 20 Silver star chips by betting them with other players, and one Gold Star pin, by defeating one of our 'Special Players'. The winner of the tournament will receive 5,000 dollars (or your currency equivalent), and the title of 'King of Games!'"

 

Yeah, and what does the runner-up get?

 

"The runner-up gets, in addition to some minor humiliation, a 2012 Chevy Camaro!"

 

I gasped at that notion.

 

"Le Gasp!"

 

"We'll do it!" Almost everyone yelled simultaneously.

 

And thus... the games begin!

 

[spoiler=Chapter 10]Duel 10: Dreams, Returns, and Secrets

 

"Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara. Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka?" Haruhi sang out loud, cheerful. I recognized the lyrics from T.M. Revolution's Resonance.

 

Why was I here? I was a virtually unknown duelist, that lived a normal life until she came into it. Now, I have an ESPer, a Time-Traveller, and an alien for friends, and I'm chosen by a freaking God! or a time anomaly or technological lifeform. Either way.

 

"Roku ni me mo awasazu unmei ni made karandeku. Yukisaki moro kabutteru kuenai yoru wo hashire. Fukaoi shi sugita mabushisa ga. Warui yume ni tsuzuite mo. Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara. Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka? Deatta wake wa dou datte ii hikitsukerarete. Fureta shunkan no kizu no bun dake tashika ni nareru!" Haruhi finished her little song, smiling all the while.

"Will she shut up?"

Tyranno, Shut up.

 

"Why should I, Punk?"

 

I'm... going to ignore you now.

 

Later, we set up camp.

 

As I ate some blueberries I found in the forest, I began to feel drowsy, and decided there was nothing else to then get to sleep.

-----------------------

As I slept, I dreamed. There was a background in a kid’s drawing version. Then, out of no where, there was a dog walking on two legs with a sheep walking on four (which reveals to be Haruhi in a dog costume and the one in the sheep costume is ... Asahina-san?).

 

“Huh? Look! Kyon's trying to sleep.” Dog-Haruhi said.

 

“Baa.” Sheep-Asahina ... baa-ed.

 

“I know! Let’s help them count sheep!”

 

Suddenly, the scenery change turns darkened and a flaming hoop came outta no where.

 

“COME ON YOU FRICKIN’ SHEEP! JUMP! JUMP! JUMP!” Dog-Haruhi pulled out a whip and keeps whipping on the ground, while the Sheep-Asahina weeps with fear. “JUMP OVER THE FLAMING HOOP SO HE CAN COUNT YOU!”

 

"I CAN'T SLEEP! I FEEL TOO SORRY!!!!!" I woke up... in a badly-drawn field.

 

"What the?" I muttered, "I... must be dreaming! Sorry, Asahina-san. I went to sleep after all."

 

"Yes," a familiar voice said, and I turned to...

 

Itsuki? in a Mountain outfit?

 

"I am the Mountain, Itsuki Koizumi."

 

"HOLY CRAP!"

 

“Hmm? What with that reaction, Kyon?” Mountain-Itsuki asked.

 

“Okay, seriously. WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY DREAM?”

 

“Oh, didn’t the real-world me tell you? Tomorrow is New Year.” Mountain-Koizumi explained, “And if you dreamt the Mt. Fuji, a Hawk, and an Eggplant at this time; they’ll bring good luck.”

 

"I don't see you bringing me luck."

 

"WHAT?! You figured it out!? That I'm actually the Mountain spell card, and not Mt. Fuji?"

 

"WHAT!?!?!?!"

 

As all my rage became full-out fury, I became... Obelisk, the Tormentor! (4000/4000)

 

"OMG, A god card!" Koizumi yelled.

 

"FIST OF FURY!" Obelisk-Me yelled, as two unknown voices yelled, "TOOOOORRRRMEEEENNNNTTT!!!"

 

"AUGH!"

-----------------------

"Sorry about that..." I apologized to the lightly singed Koizumi.

 

"Apology accepted." Koizumi responded. “Well, let’s go find the hawk and the eggplant.”

 

So we walk, and walk, and walk, and walk and-

 

“Oh! That hawk has been flying up there the whole time.” Koizumi notice a kid’s drawing version of a bird (a sideway 3) flying in the sky.

 

“THAT’S A HAWK?!”

 

The “hawk” came down and reveals to be...

 

"I am the hawk, Yuriko Tsuruya."

 

"You're a CRANE!" I responded. Tsuruya shot a look at me that said "Shut up, or I'll rip out your heart and feed it to you."

 

“You should never judge a book by its cover.” Tsuruya said “Even though I have a body of a crane, I HAVE A HEART OF A HAWK!”

 

"... But you're a crane."

 

"... I guess..."

 

“Well, now where would we find the eggplant?” I asked.

 

“Don’t worry, I got this handled.” Mountain-Koizumi pulled out a cellphone and dials.

 

“Hang on! You have a cellphone all along?!” I yelled. Then I heard a ring tone and saw a red cellphone on a ground. I picked it up and press “send”.

 

"Nagato-san?" Koizumi asked, "You there?"

 

“Oh, so Nagato is the Eggplant?” I answered.

 

“Eh?”

 

“I found this on the ground.” I said.

 

“Well, why didn’t you tell us you found Nagato?”

 

“I didn’t.”

 

“Well, isn’t there a strap?”

 

“What strap?” I look at the cellphone, finally notice a strap and ...

 

“I am the Eggplant, Yuki Nagato.” Mini Eggplant-Nagato introduced herself.

 

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

----------------------

“Well. Now we got the three of you, now what?” I asked.

 

“... What do you mean?” said the three.

 

“LIKE HOW TO GET OUT OF THIS KOOKY DREAM!” I yelled.

 

"Heck, I dunno." Koizumi responded.

 

"Me neither." Tsuruya added.

 

"I know how you can leave." Nagato said.

 

"Really? How!"

 

“Just sleep in this dream world,” Mini Eggplant-Nagato explained, “Then, you will wake up to the real world.”

 

“... That's it?”

 

"That's it."

 

That was easy.

-------------------

So I slept in my own futon bed (that came out of nowhere), hoping to wake up soon. But, I feel really uncomfortable when three people were watching me sleeping. Man, how was I going to wake up?

 

But that’s when the Dog-Haruhi and Sheep-Asahina returned.

 

“Huh? Look! Kyon's trying to take a nap, again.” Dog-Haruhi said.

 

“Baa.” Sheep-Asahina ... baa-ed again.

 

“I know! Let’s help them count sheep!”

 

Again, the scenery change turns darkened and a flaming hoop came outta no where.

 

“COME ON YOU STUPID SHEEP! JUMP! JUMP! JUMP!” Dog-Haruhi pulled out a whip and keeps whipping on the ground, while the Sheep-Asania weeps with fear. “IF IT WEREN’T FOR ME, YOU WOULD’VE BEEN LAMB CHOPS BY NOW!”

 

"STOP IT!!!"

 

And then I realized I woke up. For real, this time.

 

SIGH.

--------------------

MEANWHILE, THOUSANDS OF CENTIMETERS AWAY... (THIRD PERSON POV)

 

Somewhere in the forest, a light flashes.

 

“Hehehe.” a familiar Blue-Haired girl smirked, “Nagato thought she got rid of me? But she did forget I have ...a back-up plan.”

 

“RYOKO ACHAKURA HAS RETURNED!” Ryoko had been revived. But she started to notice if the flowers were grown. Until they finally realized she was... tiny. She was, as they call it, “Chibi-fied”. It seems this back-up plan backfires.

 

"... Damn it."

 

Ryoko turned to see a giant, very familiar face.

 

"NAGATO-SAN! How did you find me here!?"

 

"Found out by chance," Yuki responded, before stuffing Ryoko in her bag.

 

"HEY! LEMME OUT!"

---------------------

LATER, THOUSANDS OF CENTIMETERS AWAY.

 

“So, you want me to stay with you, right?” Ryoko said.

 

“Correct.”

 

"Well, okay." Ryoko said, forcing a smile. But deep down, She knew something was wrong. It's like a part of her is missing...

----------------------

To be continued...

 

 

To all my loyal readers, I have found out that a website called Zimbio has stolen my fic's first chapter. I want the one named Ryo on there to be found and negged for unwanted distribution!

[Kaisu]

Why the heck did you put in-

 

I'm getting afraid of myself. Allow me to explain...

 

"No, Allow ME, Kyon!"

 

No, I'm the narrator, I explain.

 

"But... But... but..."

 

You'll have your chance. On with my tale...

 

?????

[Guest NeoBlueDragon]

Why the heck did you put in-

 

I'm getting afraid of myself. Allow me to explain...

 

"No' date=' Allow ME, Kyon!"

 

No, I'm the narrator, I explain.

 

"But... But... but..."

 

You'll have your chance. On with my tale...

 

?????

[/quote']

 

You see, Ultimate Tyranno's a bit attention-hungry, so he tries to narrate as much as possible. Call it a running gag.

[Kaisu]

Call it a pointless fourth-wall breaker.

[Guest NeoBlueDragon]

Call it a pointless fourth-wall breaker.

 

You have no sense of humor, do you?

[Kaisu]

Great -.-

Yet another person with blunt wits.

And also, humor is not the greatest reason to stick in a bad pun in the middle of your writing.

[Guest NeoBlueDragon]

Great -.-

Yet another person with blunt wits.

And also' date=' humor is not the greatest reason to stick in a bad pun in the middle of your writing.

[/quote']

 

BLUNT?! ... well, I haven't had a successful rebellion against my mother, and I don't often think things through...

 

... That's it. The comment you make will be ignored.

[Kaisu]

Great. Another Starly.

[Kendo Fish]

Take KaiKae's advice. You're gonna need it.

 

He has a sense of humor, just not everyone's. I haven't read this, but that does sound like a pointless fourth-wall breaker. It may be played for laughs, but...I don't get it, personally.

 

Your story. Your universe. YOUR WORLD!!

 

Yes, world comes after universe.

[Guest NeoBlueDragon]

Take KaiKae's advice. You're gonna need it.

 

He has a sense of humor' date=' just not everyone's. I haven't read this, but that does sound like a pointless fourth-wall breaker. It may be played for laughs, but...I don't get it, personally.

 

Your story. Your universe. YOUR WORLD!!

 

Yes, world comes after universe.

[/quote']

 

Okay, 1. You don't have to get the joke, 2. It's better to read the fic before posting, and 3. KaiKae may have great advice, but the fact that he presents it in that tone kind-of puts me off. It's my fanfic, so learn to appreciate it.

[Kaisu]

WOW! It's an internet breakthrough! Sound through text! YAYZORZ!!!

Anyways, do you expect us to help you improve by going "OH WOW! THIS THING IS OVER 9000! GOOD ON YOU! YEAH! I DON'T REALY CARE THAT YOU DON'T SPELL ANYTHING RIGHT! OR THAT YOU DON'T PUNCTUATE!!!"?

You gotta be harsh.

[Guest NeoBlueDragon]

WOW! It's an internet breakthrough! Sound through text! YAYZORZ!!!

Anyways' date=' do you expect us to help you improve by going "OH WOW! THIS THING IS OVER 9000! GOOD ON YOU! YEAH! I DON'T REALY CARE THAT YOU DON'T SPELL ANYTHING RIGHT! OR THAT YOU DON'T PUNCTUATE!!!"?

You gotta be harsh.

[/quote']

 

Y'know, people react a LOT better if you say the thing straight forward and NOT harsh. Sarcasm doesn't work on fanfic criticism, KaiKae. I've tried.

[Kaisu]

Ask Weather Report/Keundo Fish. They gained their reputation by being harsh. Comedicly Harsh. And you've pushed me to a place where I need to make up words. Not good. Also, Weather Reports are easier for me to understand than normal reveiws. Like what Rinne/Supreme Gamemaster does.

[Guest NeoBlueDragon]

Ask Weather Report/Keundo Fish. They gained their reputation by being harsh. Comedicly Harsh. And you've pushed me to a place where I need to make up words. Not good. Also' date=' Weather Reports are easier for me to understand than normal reveiws. Like what Rinne/Supreme Gamemaster does.

[/quote']

 

... Okay, they don't work for everyone. Some people, not everyone. If you are so obsessed with this topic, just TRY and enjoy the fic. If not, go and read another one. This will be my last time interacting with your posts. Am I clear, Mr. KaiKae?

[Kaisu]

Fine. Allow me one more message.

I'm not here to enjoy your fic, I'm here to help you. As always, if you don't even try to take advice and continue recklessly, you'll regret it. I'm here to help, not to make you hide in a corner and throw insults at you. For now,

Adios~ Goodnight.

[Guest NeoBlueDragon]

Fine. Allow me one more message.

I'm not here to enjoy your fic' date=' I'm here to help you. As always, if you don't even try to take advice and continue recklessly, you'll regret it. I'm here to help, not to make you hide in a corner and throw insults at you. For now,

Adios~ Goodnight.

[/quote']

 

Well, If you wanted to help me to improve on my fanfiction, I shall allow you to list everything you have found unsatisfactory from this fanfiction in one more post. The reason I ignored most of your advice was because you weren't presenting it the right way for me. You see, I'm not a Starly, like you said before...

 

I have Asperger's Syndrome.

 

There, I have told the truth. Maybe now, you will see...

[Smiley]

I only read the first chapter but good story I'm really getting into it, good story =D

[Guest NeoBlueDragon]

Chapters 11-15

 

[spoiler=Chapter 11]Duel 11: Fires of the Heart! Inferno Envoy, Awaken!

"Mikuru," Haruhi asked Asahina-san, "Why is it that you're considered a Duelist, yet I haven't seen you duel?"

 

"Suzumiya-san," Asahina-san replied, "I prefer not to brag about dueling."

 

Wow, Asahina-san. How modest.

 

"Modest, even though you're being focused on this chapter."

 

Shut up, Tyranno.

 

"Hey, look!" Itsuki yelled, "Someone just won a duel!"

 

He was right. A young woman, blonde, in a purple trenchcoat, was busy taking 3 Star Chips.

 

"Hey, you!" Haruhi yelled, "I'm Haruhi Suzumiya, and I'm here to beat you and claim your star chips!"

 

"Well," the woman turned to us, "This isn't going to be much trouble! Nya!"

 

Nya? Is that her catchphrase or something?

"Who cares?! She's smokin' HOT!"

 

Tyranno, please ignore her hotness.

"Well, you're thinking it too."

 

"I think I'll take on..." the woman said, "... That girl!"

 

She was pointing to... Asahina-san?

 

"... We're doomed..."

-----------------------

As the two stood apart from each other, I could see Haruhi biting her fingernails in anticipation.

 

Wait, her fingers weren't white...

 

"Haruhi," I said, "Quit biting your fingernails."

 

"Oh, Kyon. Kyon, Kyon, Kyon." Haruhi said, "I'm biting Yuki's fingernails."

 

... Awkward.

 

"Alright, you blonde spaz," Asahina said, with a form of confidence I never saw before, "As an old friend of mine used to say... Get your Game on!"

Mikuru: 4000 LP

Fem-Duelist: 4000 LP

 

"My turn!" Asahina-san yelled, "I think I'll summon UFO Turtle! (1400/1200) In attack mode."

 

As a huge turtle with a shell resembling a UFO appeared in front of her, she smiled.

 

"And a face-down for later. Your go!"

 

"If you insist," the woman smiled, "I'll set up a defense monster: Familiar Knight (1200/1400)."

 

As a knight in shiny armor appeared in front of her, the woman looked at her hand and smiled. I have a bad feeling about this. Tyranno, your thoughts?

 

... Tyranno?

 

"Pretty, Pretty, Shiny, Shiny." Tyranno chanted.

 

Oh god.

 

"I guess it's my turn." Asahina-san smiled, "And I'll tribute UFO Turtle to summon Chthonian Emperor Dragon (2400/1500)!"

 

As a huge, serpentine dragon appeared behind her, I began to wonder how could her opponent be so calm. Either she's got ice in her blood, or she's been planning this.

 

"Chthonian Emperor Dragon, slay that knight!" Mikuru yelled.

 

The dragon burnt Familiar Knight to a crisp.

 

"Well, you've killed Familiar Knight. But by doing so..." the woman said, as the ashes began to move again, "You've activated his special ability, which allows me to summon a new monster to take his place. And I'll summon Rare Metal Dragon! (2400/1200)"

 

The ashes fused into a small, ankylosaur-like creature."

 

"I know that. And It also brings forward one of my monsters. And I'll summon Command Knight in defense move! (1200/1900) It's your move."

 

"I'll pass."

 

"Big mistake. I remove UFO Turtle from my graveyard to bring forth a new monster! Flame Swordsman, Envoy of the Inferno! (1800/1600)"

 

WHAT?! A Fourth Envoy?

"Well, now. This is beginning to grow interesting."

 

As a samurai appeared in front of her, Mikuru smiled.

 

"And his effect allows me to destroy one non-fire monster on the field! I think I'll get rid..." Asahina-san smiled, "Your Rare Metal Dragon! Burn 'im to the ground, Flamey!"

 

As the samurai swung his sword at Rare Metal Dragon, the dragon began to catch on fire, burning into another pile of ash.

 

"Well..." The woman looked down in shame, "I think I'm dead."

 

"Flame Swordsman, attack directly!"

 

The swordsman swung again.

Woman: 2200 LP

 

"And finish her off, CED!"

 

The dragon breathed fire again.

Woman: 0 LP

 

"Well, that's that!" Asahina-san smiled, "Now hand over your star chips and kiss my feet."

 

Isn't that a little extreme?

 

"Mikuru, I agree with Kyon," Haruhi said, "This isn't really that good."

 

"It's called getting respect, Suzumiya-san. Deal with it."

 

LATER...

 

As the others slept, I was looking at the stars. What else could there be waiting for us? What were our parents thinking about our disappearance? Who else could be holding an Envoy in their deck? What is the secret of the universe? Will Haruhi doom us all? Will-

"TYRANNO CHOP!!"

 

I could feel a certain Tyrannosaur-like creature karate-chopping my head. Then... blackout...

 

To be continued...

 

[spoiler=Chapter 12]Duel 12: Beyond the Grave

 

"KYON!"

 

AUGH! AN EVIL DEMON!

 

"I'm Haruhi, idiot."

 

EVEN WORST!

 

"... baka Kyon. You've been challenged by a guy named Ed Sullen!!"

 

EH?!

 

"C'mon!"

 

And then, Haruhi wisked me away toward where the Duel was to take place.

-------------------

Ed Sullen was an absolutely handsome man. He towered over all of us, but not by much in my case. He wore clothes of fine dark scarlet and gold trim, topped with an elegant cape that was black on the outside and red on the inside. He had pale skin and long but well-manicured nails like claws. His jet black hair hung down to his shoulders and covered one eye. His other eye was an icy blue.

 

"Glad you could make it, Haruhi." The man smiled, revealing a prominent tooth similar to Tsuruya-san's. Speaking of which, Tsuruya was watching from the sidelines.

 

Kyon: 4000 LP

Ed Sullen: 4000 LP

 

"I'll start." Ed looked his hand over, then said, "I think I'll play Call of the Mummy. This card allows me to summon a monster when my field is empty, and the monster I choose is...”

 

A beautiful black coffin trimmed with gold grew out of the floor. Bloodshot eyes opened up all across its surface and a flock of bats flew down from nowhere, swooping over the box.

 

A dozen hands formed from twisted, filthy, yellow-white bandages slithered out beneath it and grasped the lid, wrenching it open with a creaking moan. Smoke belched forth.

 

“Vampire Lord (2000/1500)!”

 

The smoke dissipated to reveal a tall, slender being dressed in a dark European suit topped by a black-and-red cape much like the duellist’s. He had blue skin, faded green hair and amber eyes. The Lord pulled his cape around himself and a long, slimy tongue poked out to lick his lips. Asahina-san shuddered in repulsion.

 

"I'll also summon another monster, my Darkness Eye (0/1000).”

 

Next to the Vampire Lord appeared a short tree of muscle and blood, and growing from the tree was a giant, hideous eyeball with a blue iris ringed in thick black and three green dots swimming in the depths of its pupil. Little drops of filmy slime plopped from the eyeball to the floor.

 

"And I'll finish with one card face down. Make your move."

 

As I looked over my hand, I noticed something. It was all High-Level Earth monsters. Nothing useful here... I drew a card...

 

Card Destruction! YES!

 

"I play, Card Destruction! In case you're wondering-"

 

"Do you ever shut up?" The man interrupted, "I know what it does. Now you can discard your entire hand and draw new cards to replace them. Please, what do I look like, a rookie?"

 

"... never mind." I drew new cards... and surprise, surprise. Ultimate Tyranno was one of them.

 

"I remove two Earth monsters from my graveyard in order to summon my Ultimate Tyranno, Envoy of the Earth (3000/2200)!"

 

As my dear friend (well, mind roommate) appeared behind me, I smiled. "Now, I think I'll normal summon Obnoxious Celtic Guard (1400/1200)."

 

"Looks like that eye of yours and vampire freak are going to die, because like his Non-Envoy counterpart, he can attack all of your monsters at once!" I proclaimed, "Now, Tyranno!"

"You don't even have to say things twice!" Tyranno responded, charging toward Vampire Lord, claws at the ready.

 

Vampire Lord smiled, then the face-down flipped up...

 

Threatening Roar!?

 

Threatening Roar: No attacks can be conducted this turn.

 

Dammit.

 

"All right. I'll end with a Tribute to the Doomed."

 

After I discarded a card, Vampire Lord suddenly rotted away. If you're wondering how that happened, Tribute to the Doomed kills monsters with a discard.

 

"I believe it's my turn," the man drew again.. When he saw the new card, he smiled dangerously. The floor rippled and parted like water – or blood – as a second black coffin appeared. The lid opened and out came none other than the Vampire Lord. His expression was angry and vengeful as he glared at me.

 

"Didn't I kill that thing already?"

 

“with a card effect,” said Ed, “and when that happens, Vampire Lord returns on the very next turn. Alas, it will not be he who eliminates you. This is a family affair now... and you will learn why I played my Darkness Eye in attack mode despite it having no strength. Thanks to its effect, durink my standby phase, I can summon any monster without tribute, so long as it is in face-up attack position, and I will use that effect to call upon Patrician of Darkness (2000/1400)!”

 

A third coffin materialised, opened and out climbed a much larger, older and more ferocious entity. “Patrician of Darkness does not appreciate it when his children are wounded, and now you will face his fatherly rage.” The Patrician snarled as two red bats wings spread out behind him and he lunged at Obnoxious Celtic Guard.

 

"Nice try!" I said, "But Celtic Guard's effect allows him to survive any attack done by a 1900-or-higher Attack Point monster!"

 

Celtic Guard dodged the Patrician with ease.

 

"Fine. If that's the case, I shall add another face-down. Your move."

 

"Very well. I'll tribute OCG to summon Swift Gaia, The Fierce Knight! (2300/2100)"

 

As the Elf disappeared, he was quickly replaced by a green-skinned knight clad in blue-and-red armour, mounted on a purple horse with a fierce golden mane. In each hand the knight held a deadly crimson lance. His name was Gaia.

 

"Now, let's see how an eye lives in combat to a knight! Gaia, kill the Darkness Eye!"

 

Gaia threw his lance at the eye. I smiled, as the Eye looked in shock and around, looking for a way out.

 

“Target control!” Ed cried. The Patrician of Darkness looked stunned, but as the lance came closer, he held out his own hands and for a brief second time seemed to freeze. The lance changed direction, much to both Tyranno and Gaias’ surprise, and streaked towards Vampire Lord. The young undead looked in horror and confusion at his father before vanishing with a screech of agony. When the explosion subsided, the Patrician hung his head in shame.

 

“That was close,” He said, “but thankfully my Patrician has the ability to redirect your assaults to a different target. At the cost of Vampire Lord, Darkness Eye remains on the field.”

 

Ed: 3700 LP

 

“How... how could you?” Tyranno croaked. “You made him give up his own son!” He looked at the forlorn old vampire and offered a meaningful, “I’m so sorry.” The Patrician turned and glared with spite at the duelist.

 

“How dare you show your fangs to me?” Ed snarled. “Remember that I am the master and you are just the slave.”

 

The Patrician then turned around and did something that I didn't even think holograms could do.

 

He flipped the bird at Ed.

 

Well, that was kind of sudden. But it was still my turn, and I needed to win. And Tyranno didn't attack yet, so...

 

"Tyranno... give those two a merciful death."

 

Tyranno walked towards the two, Patrician first.

 

"Patrician... you'll see your son soon."

 

"Not quite." Patrician answered, earning shocked faces from everyone. Then, Patrician pointed at none other then Darkness Eye.

 

Tyranno nodded, then raised his foot.

 

"Trap card open!" Ed yelled, "Scrap-Iron Scarecrow!"

 

Tyranno stabbed his foot on the familiar scarecrow, then hopped off to comfort his foot.

 

"Dang," I said. "End turn."

 

"Thank you. Now, I will activate Darkness Eye's effect again! This allows me to summon another monster. Allow me to introduce you to..."

 

The creature he summoned was tall, and its body was completely round, with four stubby limbs. A manacle with a ball-and-chain was clamped around its right ankle. It wore a dirty, blue-and-white striped one-piece outfit with a zip going from its crotch up to the stump of its neck and a pair of brown boots with flat soles. Its head was a mass of writhing black tendrils, in the middle of which was a pair of beady orange eyes. A low grumble sounded from deep within the new monster.

 

“…Il Blud (2100/800)!”

 

Tyranno retracted in horror, as did all of the onlookers.

 

"Next, I'll activate Double Summon!"

 

Why?

 

"So I could Gemini-Summon Il Blud!"

 

The monster rumbled again, this time much louder and with a distinct sound of snapping bones and gurgling liquid.

 

"With Il Blud fully active, I can resurrect any monster from my hand or, if it suits me, either graveyard. I choose my Vampire Lord!"

 

The Patrician looked in glee as his son returned to the field... only to retract in horror as he noticed that his own son was covered...

 

... in blood.

 

The Vampire looked up slightly, then gave a huge, fanged grin. Looking into his eyes, I could tell that Vampire Lord had gone insane as a result of his trip to the bad place.

 

"Vengeance is always sweet," Ed purred, "And my Lord will sip it like fine wine, especially with Mage Power!"

 

Huh?

 

"You see, Vampire Lord now gains 500 ATK for every spell. and trap card I control, like my face-down Scrap-Iron Scarecrow and Mage Power itself!"

 

Vampire Lord: 3000 ATK

 

"A thousand additional ATK makes Vampire Lord more then a match for Gaia. Now, it's FEEDING TIME!"

 

Vampire Lord opened his mouth to attack, and I could tell that his dentist was half-insane. Charging at Gaia, he ripped out the horse's throat and bit Gaia's throat.

 

Kyon: 3100 LP

 

"I can't do anything right now, so I'll end my turn with that."

 

I drew a card... YES!

 

"I play Red Medicine!" I yelled.

 

Kyon: 3600 LP

 

"Next, I'll remove Gaia (2300/2100), Swift Gaia, Allsword Commander Gottoms (2100/1600), and Celtic Guard to raise Ultimate Tyranno's ATK!" I yelled, "Earth Resonation! Chi-Kyo-Den!""

 

Ultimate Tyranno grew a few stories higher, and his teeth became longer and sharper.

 

Ultimate Tyranno: 5000 ATK

 

"Now, I can land one attack and win this duel!" I said, "Tyranno! Let's win this duel!"

 

"Youkai!" Tyranno yelled, charging for the hideous Eyeball.

 

"Nice try, but you forgot about my face down! Scrap-Iron Scarecrow!"

 

As a familiar scarecrow blocked Tyranno's attack, I sighed.

 

"Turn end." I muttered.

 

"Then it is my turn..." Ed smiled, "And I'll use Darkness Eye to summon Vampire Lord's older brother, Vampire's Curse (2000/800)!"

 

Another black coffin grew out of the marble landing and was covered by bloodshot eyes. The lid flew open and out clambered an athletic figure with greenish hair combed back into a cluster of spikes. He wore a black suit topped with an armored chest-plate and shoulder-guards adorned with curved spikes. Two bat’s wings hung about him like a cape, hooked at his neck by their claws. He and the Patrician locked eyes as if there were severe bad blood between them.

 

“I’m afraid Curse isn't quite aware of what happened to his younger brother, so ignore his confused look at Lord." Ed shrugged, "Your move."

 

"Very well," I narrowed my eyes, "And I'll summon Gladiator Beast Andal (1900/1500)!"

 

As a black bear came forth, I smirked.

 

"Why did you do that? Andal isn't as strong any of my monsters!"

 

"Well, you're kinda forgetting the obvious." I smirked, "Andal, destroy Vampire Lord!"

 

"Well," Ed shrugged, "I'm sure on some planet, he'd win. But... This is Earth!"

 

"I know. And I know Patrician will use his ability!"

 

Patrician shrugged, then pointed at Darkness Eye.

 

"Scrap-Iron Scarecrow!" Ed yelled, as the Scarecrow blocked Andal's attack, "What a waste!"

 

"Not quite," I smirked, "TYRANNO!"

 

Tyranno charged at the three.

 

The Patrician looked venomously at his other son and pointed a clawed finger at Vampire’s Curse. The younger vampire released an angry cry that sounded like, “Damn you!” before Tyranno bit down.

 

Ed: 700 LP

 

Wait, Patrician was sorry for Vampire Lord's death, but not Curse?

 

“They have a…complicated family history,” Ed looked down in embarrassment.

 

"Oh, okay. Now, time to put this duel to an end! Tyranno!"

 

Patrician pointed at the most vulnerable monster on his side: Darkness Eye. Tyranno stomped on the thing, ending to duel.

 

Ed: 0 LP

 

"That's all," I smirked, as Tyranno, the Patrician, and Vampire Lord disappeared.

 

Ed looked down again.

 

"It's okay, Ed," I looked over him.

 

"Well... here's all the star chips you need!" Ed looked at me, then handed me a bag FULL of silver star chips.

 

As we loaded them into our star chip holders, Ed looked on, smiling.

 

"And there is one MORE thing you can do for us," Haruhi turned to Ed.

 

"Oh, and what would that be?"

 

"SMILE!"

 

Pulling a camera out of nowhere, Haruhi snapped a picture of Ed, and cackled with delight.

 

“What the hell?!" Ed yelled.

 

I thought that nobody else wanted in.

 

“True! We don’t have members that want to join in.” Haruhi explained. “But we do force some people to join, whether they like it or not! Like these guys!” she pulled out some pictures and showed them to us. They were familiar people they know of: Weevil Underwood and Rex Raptor, Seto Kaiba, Yugi Motou, The Hair Guy, Marik Ishtar, even Pegasus was in one of the pictures.

 

Well, this is awkward.

-------------------

LATER...

 

As Ryoko yawned before her nap, she noticed three small glowing balls of light outside. Looking at Yuki, Ryoko shrugged and went to investigate...

----------------------

“Hehehe.” a very familiar visage rises with two others, “As the sands of time whirl through the air...”

 

“WE HAVE RETURNED!” Obelisk, Slifer, and Ra have been revived.

 

"So... now what?"

 

"Beats me, Slifer."

 

"I hope Yugi-san hasn't become bored without our presence, Obelisk."

 

"That's the best part of it, Ra. Now, let us be free once more!"

 

"... Uh guys?"

 

"Yes?"

 

"We used to tower over trees, right?"

 

"Yeah, so?"

 

"Now it's the other way around."

 

"... AUGH! I'm chibi-fied!"

 

"Yeah, that could be a problem."

 

Yep, they were chibi. And Ryoko found them.

 

"... crap."

-----------

To be continued...

 

[spoiler=Chapter 13]Duel 13: Kaiba(man) VS Haruhi: Place your bets!

 

"OMG! KAWAII!" Ryoko yelled.

 

"RUN AWAY!!!" The mini-gods yelled.

 

-----------------

 

As we walked, Ed Sullen complained to the point of annoyance about being forced to enter, Mikuru looked her deck over, Yuki observed the surroundings, Itsuki smiled, and I listened to Haruhi rant about being unbeatable.

 

Eventually, we came across a strange sight...

 

KAIBA?!

 

"I'm not exactly Seto Kaiba. I'm Kaibaman. So..." The Kaiba lookalike smirked, "Shall we begin?"

 

"Yeah, sure," Haruhi smirked, "It's going to end the same way."

 

As the two engaged their Duel Disks, I began to wonder if this really was Kaiba.

 

Kaiba Lookalike: 4000 LP

Haruhi: 4000 LP

 

"I'll start," Haruhi said, drawing a card, "And I'll summon Mystical Shine Ball (500/500), in Defensive Mode!"

 

As a floating crystal ball appeared, I began to hear... some kind of chanting.

 

"Ooga chaka, ooga chaka, ooga ooga ooga chaka, ooga chaka, ooga chaka, ooga ooga ooga chaka..."

 

"Your move, since I don't know what else to do," Haruhi said, without her characteristic smirk.

 

"Very well." Kaibaman drew a card, then, "I play this, Summon Draw!"

 

"Huh?"

 

"Let me tell you how it works. Basically, I get to draw a new card. If It's a normal monster, I get to summon it automatically."

 

He drew a card, then said, "Yep. It's a normal monster. One you've already met. Care to guess which?"

 

I suddenly felt some feeling. Oh no. It can't be...

 

"Lemme show you... Blue-Eyes White Dragon! (3000/2500)"

 

As the way-too-familiar white dragon appeared, I began to wonder if the guy who orchestrates my life has a dragon fetish.

 

"And guess what? If I did draw a normal monster, I get to draw again. And I just drew... X-Head Cannon! (1800/1500)"

 

As the blue robot appeared, Kaibaman drew another card.

 

"Damn," Kaibaman swore, "It's not a monster card. However, It could help me. I play Card of Demise. It allows me to discard my hand and draw five new cards. But if I don't use them in five turns, I lost them in five turns. Next, I'll tribute X-Head Cannon using White Dragon Ritual... To summon Paladin of White Dragon (1900/1200)"

 

The robot morphed into a knight... riding a dragon... OKAY, SERIOUSLY! DRAGON FETISH, ANYONE!?

"CHOP!"

 

Nevermind, I'm not going on a rant.

 

"Next, I'll sacrifice him to Summon my second Blue-Eyes White Dragon!"

 

Gee, another Blue-Eyes. Why am I not surprised?

 

As Haruhi watched two White Dragons growl at her, she smirked.

 

"This... this is exciting..." Haruhi muttered, "You've revved the game another level for me! I play two cards face down, then set a monster in defense mode!"

 

"Blue-Eyes, destroy his face down! White Lighting!" Kaibaman ordered, as one Blue-Eyes blew up the face-down Mystic Shine Ball.

 

"Now, attack her Life Points directly!"

 

"Scrap-Iron Scarecrow!" Haruhi yelled, as the metallic scarecrow blocked the attack.

 

"Alright, so you managed to survive an attack by Blue-Eyes. X-Head is still free to attack! X-Caliber Shot!"

 

"Now, my other trap activates!" Haruhi yelled, "Angelic Wings!"

 

Wings sprouted from Haruhi's back, and swung forward to block the attack.

 

"This trap not only negates your attack, but I get a little life back!" Haruhi smiled.

 

Haruhi: 5800 LP

 

"Damn," Kaibaman swore, "I set a card and end my turn. Your move!"

 

"Good. I play Dark Core, discarding my third Mystic Shine Ball to blow up X-Head Cannon!"

 

As the X-Head Cannon faded away, Haruhi smirked.

 

"Now, I remove two Shine Balls to summon Blue-Eyes White Dragon, Envoy of the Light! (3000/2500)"

 

As a third Blue-Eyes appeared behind Haruhi, Kaibaman growled in recognition. He's screwed. I know it.

 

"I remove my third and final Mystic Shine Ball to-"

 

"Trap Card HAJIRO!" Kaibaman yelled, "Imperial Iron Wall!"

 

Imperial Iron Wall: No cards can be removed from play.

 

"Oh man!" Haruhi yelled, "Now I can't boost Envoy Blue-Eye's ATK!"

 

"That's right," Kaiba sneered, "I now play Polymerization, fusing all three Blue-Eyes together, to form Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon! (4500/3800)"

 

Well... if he attacks Envoy Blue-Eyes, The worst it could to is inflict 1500 Damage.

 

"Next, I play an equip card! Megamorph!"

 

The Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon grew to twice his original size. The tide has turned.

 

BEUD: 9000 ATK

 

"Now, Ultimate Dragon, destroy that blatant rip-off of you! Tri-Burst Stream of Destruction!"

 

As three blasts of energy ripped the great light Envoy apart, Haruhi gasped in horror.

 

Haruhi: 0 LP

 

"I... I... lost..." Haruhi fell to the ground, crying.

 

"Well, that was easy. Now, hand over half your Star Chips," Kaibaman smirked, holding out his hand.

 

I took the Star Chips and gave them to him, yelling, "Go ahead and take them, you son of a jabroni."

 

"Don't mind if I do," Kaibaman smirked, taking the Star Chips, and then walking away.

 

Haruhi continued to cry, as we watched Kaibaman walk away.

 

"Kyon, I'm going to have to excuse myself from here. Closed Space opened up," Itsuki said, walking away from the scene.

 

MEANWHILE, OUTSIDE OF KYON'S POV

"The Light Envoy got WHAT?!"

 

"Defeated."

 

"...This could mean the beginning of the end of our hiding period. Shall we begin?"

 

"Oh, I'm ready for it."

 

"As am I, old friend. Soon, the Envoys will tremble once more in our presence. For darkness is always on our side! We are the mighty!"

 

"The Strong!"

 

"The Fear-Inducing!"

 

"We are the Onishin!"

 

"The What?"

 

"... Not again..."

 

To be continued...

 

[spoiler=Chapter 14]Duel 14: Tales of the Onishin

 

"How is she," I asked Yuki.

 

"Her emotional state is unchanged. Ever since that Duel with Kaibaman last week, she's been relatively introverted."

 

"That bad, huh?"

 

"Yes. It's my considerable fear that she would probably rewrite the world in her anger. However, no data change has been detected."

 

"Hmm..."

-----------------------------------------

As I slept that night, I dreamed... but it was... different...

 

In it, I saw a burning landscape. Trees, plants, even rocks burned. In the middle of the inferno, I saw a trio of living lines, one yellow, one blue, one red. the yellow one was in the approximate shape of a giant bird, the blue one looked like a striped, buffed-up stick figure, and the red one was... some kind of snake-dragon thing. This is one weird nightmare.

 

"I'm afraid this is no nightmare..."

 

Huh? I turned to see a man in a cape. STEROTYYYYYPE!!

 

"This is one of several possible futures."

 

Really?

 

"Yes."

 

This is kind-of confusing. I mean, giant lines trying to kill people?

 

"Well, another future includes card games on motorcycles."

 

Well, that's just ridiculous.

 

"Yes. Now, allow me to give you a warning that will come into meaning in a few days. Long ago, demonic god-like creatures descended on the land and caused great destruction. They were the Onishin.

 

The Envoys fought against them in a struggle for the fate of humanity, placing them deep within the earth.

 

Now, the Onishin have returned. The Future depends on you, Kyon-san."

 

... And then I woke up. What a bizarre dream.

-------------------------------

THE NEXT DAY...

 

Haruhi, are you STILL sulking?

 

"Kyon... I can't believe I lost. I feel so ashamed..."

 

There's nothing to be ashamed about. You lost once, big deal.

 

"No... I let myself down..."

 

Well, get back up!

 

"... You're right, Kyon. I should just pick myself up and- OH NO, NOT HIM AGAIN?!"

 

Huh?

 

I turned to where Haruhi was looking...

 

Kaibaman?!

 

"Indeed. If it isn't the SOS Brigade. I guess I defeated the almighty leader... so the other Duelists should be easy pickings."

 

Yare, Yare...

 

"YOU!" Kaibaman pointed at me - wait, what?

 

"You'll be my opponent," he smiled that deadly smirk.

 

"HECK NO!" I yelled, then ran as fast as I could, toward the nearest place where I could get off this island. Once back home, I'll explain my disappearance to my mom and dad, transfer to a new school, and change the phone number. That would end my crazy adventures with Haruhi Suzumiya. Finally.

-----------------------------------------

As I ran towards the castle, I began looking left and right for a nearby boat to hitch a ride on, removing my Dueling glove as I did so in order to seem like I somehow got on the Island.

 

Eventually, I noticed a boat containing some random people, and hopped on.

 

"Sorry, but I need out of this crazy competition," I said, as a very familiar man with odd hair looked at me.

 

"Attention Duelist!" He yelled, "I'm sorry, but you have been registered as having 10 Silver Star Chips."

 

"No fair! I'm swimming back to Japan!" I yelled, then poised to jump into the ocean... just as a red tendril grabbed me. Turning, I saw who it was attached to.

 

"It's me, Ryoko," Ryoko Asakura smiled at me, as her red-irises within black eyes focused at me, "I'm back for revenge, and you don't stand... a ghost of a chance."

--------------------------------

To be continued...