Minigarras fan fic Episodes 1 and 2

[minigarra]

well ive never made a fan fic before but here goes....

Episode one V

 

Character bio's

Note:i put in Character bio's in as we go so heres the inportant characters

Name:Keith

Deck Style:Stars

Age:15

Hair:Gray

Hair Style:Spiked back

Eyes:Blue

 

Name:Kon

Deck Style:ocean

Age:14

Hair:Blonde

Hair Style:Downard Spikes

Eye:Green

 

Keith sits in a dark desalant room awaiting his train to stop.

Just then a boy sits at his table and asks if he would like to duel.

Of course Keith replys "Yes yes i would....."

Kon replys "Kon my name is Kon"

 

DUEL ON!

 

'Keith go's first'

I will summon Star Resonator. (1300/1200 light/star-creature)

Star Resonator can once per any turn destroy 1 dark atribute creature on the field

 

"then i will place one face down and end my turn"

 

'Kons turn'

I will play Ocean of Wonders as long as ths card remains face up on the field,

all aqua atribute creatures gain 600 ATK and 200 DEF and have 1 less star

now i summon Frog of Peace LV1 (1000/1200+card effects Aqua/Frog)

Frog of Peace LV1 can negate the attack of one creature per turn,

in return for 2 spell cards from your hand

 

'Keiths turn'

I sacerfice Star Resonator and summon FireKnight (1900/1900 Pyro/Warrior)

No effect

Now activate Star Rebirth in order to bring back Star Resonator

Now i attack with FireKnight 1900 .V.S. 1600

 

Kon:AHHHHH MY HEATLH 5000 - 4700

 

Keith:STAR RESONATOR ATTACK

 

Kon:NO AHHHH 4700 - 3400

 

Keith:I end my turn

 

'Kons turn'

I play Ocean Summon and I discard 12 stars worth of creatures from my hand inorder to summon.

OCEAN GODDES YEN (6400/6800+card effects Aqua/Devine Beast)

NOW ATTACK HIS FIRE KNIGHT

 

Keith:NOOOOOOOO 5000 - –100

 

Kon:You know why you lost right? Cause your deck is built around fighting one thing.

And mine is design to destroy anything

 

Keith:Well heres my stop thanks for dueling

 

Kon:Well..... Actually..... This is kinda my stop two.

 

Keith:Where are you going?

 

Kon:Card shop tourmameant.

 

Keith:ME TWO.

 

Kon:Cool lets go

 

'As keith and kon were walking. A kitten walked up to Keith and licked him.'

 

Keith:Oh hi little kitten you got a mom?

 

Kon:KEITH LOOK OUT

 

'Mom ravages Keith as if its her only kitten.'

 

Keith:DANG YOU KON

 

'Chases Kon all the way tell there in the card shop'

 

Epsiode 2 V:Tourameant of Dreams

 

Bio's

Name:Fon Fon

Deck Style:Dark

Age:8

Hair:not inportant cause hes only in fic once!

Hair Style:see hair

Eyes:by now you get it

 

Tournameant anouser (TA):Alright now lets start the first duel!!!

 

(TA):This kid is......

 

Fon Fon:YOUR NOT ANOUSING WRESTLING YOU KNOW!!!!

 

(TA):Alright Alright sheash. Our duelest are fon fon and Kon

 

(TA):LETS GET STARTED

 

'Fon Fon Go's First'

I PLAY FIRE TRAP 'T' FIRE TRAP 'R' AND FIRE TRAP 'A' AND 'P' ALLOWING ME TO DEAL YOU 4000 DAMAGE

And i summon a creature in face down defence postioton and end my turn.

 

'Kons turn'

I play Ocean Summon and I discard 12 stars worth of creatures from my hand inorder to summon.

OCEAN GODDES YEN (6400/6800+card effects Aqua/Devine Beast)

NOW ATTACK HIS FACE DOWN CREATURE!!!

 

Fon Fon:Gaint soldier of stone NOOOOOOOO.

 

(TA):Ouch looks bad for fon fon

 

'fon fons turn'

I summon a creature in face down defence postion and end my turn.

 

'Kons turn'

I summon Rekiga (2300/2300 Aqua/Devine Beast)

I have to discard a card from my hand evrytime he attacks

 

ATTACK HIS FACE DOWN CREATURE REKIGA *discards card*

 

Fon Fon:GIANT SOLDIER OF STONE NOOOOOO

 

Kon:NOW ATTACK HIM DERECTLY OCEAN GODDES YEN

 

Fon Fon:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! 5000 - –1400

 

(TA):LETS KEEP THIS TRAIN ROLLING FOLKS.

[Kaisu]

OMG!

You have a character list!

And Script Format is banned!

And you play with blobs!

[minigarra]

ummmm what do you mean??.

[Rideouter]

He means that you don't describe what the characters look like.

[Kaisu]

No, I mean that character lists suck,

Script Format is banned on this part of the forum,

and THEN what RO said.

[Weather Report - Stand]

I agree completely, and if I weren't typing an awesome story right now I'd TOTALLY grill this thing. Make sense more!!

[jake walls]

well ive never made a fan fic before but here goes....

Episode one V

 

Character bio's

Note:i put in Character bio's in as we go so heres the inportant characters

Name:Keith

Deck Style:Stars

Age:15

 

Name:Kon

Deck Style:ocean

Age:14

 

Keith sits in a dark desalant room awaiting his train to stop.

Just then a boy sits at his table and asks if he would like to duel.

Of course Keith replys "Yes yes i would....."

Kon replys "Kon my name is Kon"

 

DUEL ON!

 

'Keith go's first'

I will summon Star Resonator. (1300/1200 light/star-creature)

Star Resonator can once per any turn destroy 1 dark atribute creature on the field

 

"then i will place one face down and end my turn"

 

'Kons turn'

I will play Ocean of Wonders as long as ths card remains face up on the field' date='

all aqua atribute creatures gain 600 ATK and 200 DEF and have 1 less star

now i summon Frog of Peace LV1 (1000/1200+card effects Aqua/Frog)

Frog of Peace LV1 can negate the attack of one creature per turn,

in return for 2 spell cards from your hand

 

'Keiths turn'

I sacerfice Star Resonator and summon FireKnight (1900/1900 Pyro/Warrior)

No effect

Now activate Star Rebirth in order to bring back Star Resonator

Now i attack with FireKnight 1900 .V.S. 1600

 

Kon:AHHHHH MY HEATLH 5000 - 4700

 

Keith:STAR RESONATOR ATTACK

 

Kon:NO AHHHH 4700 - 3400

 

Keith:I end my turn

 

'Kons turn'

I play Ocean Summon and I discard 12 stars worth of creatures from my hand inorder to summon.

OCEAN GODDES YEN (6400/6800+card effects Aqua/Devine Beast)

NOW ATTACK HIS FIRE KNIGHT

 

Keith:NOOOOOOOO 5000 - –100

 

Kon:You know why you lost right? Cause your deck is built around fighting one thing.

And mine is design to destroy anything

 

Keith:Well heres my stop thanks for dueling

 

Kon:Well..... Actually..... This is kinda my stop two.

 

Keith:Where are you going?

 

Kon:Card shop tourmameant.

 

Keith:ME TWO.

 

Kon:Cool lets go

 

'As keith and kon were walking. A kitten walked up to Keith and licked him.'

 

Keith:Oh hi little kitten you got a mom?

 

Kon:KEITH LOOK OUT

 

'Mom ravages Keith as if its her only kitten.'

 

Keith:DANG YOU KON

 

'Chases Kon all the way tell there in the card shop'

 

Epsiode 2 V:Tourameant of Dreams

 

Bio's

Name:Fon Fon

Deck Style:Dark

Age:8

 

Tournameant anouser (TA):Alright now lets start the first duel!!!

 

(TA):This kid is......

 

Fon Fon:YOUR NOT ANOUSING WRESTLING YOU KNOW!!!!

 

(TA):Alright Alright sheash. Our duelest are fon fon and Kon

 

(TA):LETS GET STARTED

 

'Fon Fon Go's First'

I PLAY FIRE TRAP 'T' FIRE TRAP 'R' AND FIRE TRAP 'A' AND 'P' ALLOWING ME TO DEAL YOU 4000 DAMAGE

And i summon a creature in face down defence postioton and end my turn.

 

'Kons turn'

I play Ocean Summon and I discard 12 stars worth of creatures from my hand inorder to summon.

OCEAN GODDES YEN (6400/6800+card effects Aqua/Devine Beast)

NOW ATTACK HIS FACE DOWN CREATURE!!!

 

Fon Fon:Gaint soldier of stone NOOOOOOOO.

 

(TA):Ouch looks bad for fon fon

 

'fon fons turn'

I summon a creature in face down defence postion and end my turn.

 

'Kons turn'

I summon Rekiga (2300/2300 Aqua/Devine Beast)

I have to discard a card from my hand evrytime he attacks

 

ATTACK HIS FACE DOWN CREATURE REKIGA *discards card*

 

Fon Fon:GIANT SOLDIER OF STONE NOOOOOO

 

Kon:NOW ATTACK HIM DERECTLY OCEAN GODDES YEN

 

Fon Fon:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! 5000 - –1400

 

(TA):LETS KEEP THIS TRAIN ROLLING FOLKS.

[/quote']

 

Thats a nice little thing u got there.....Keep up the good work... Peace"""""

[Weather Report - Stand]

Okay. I have the time now, so I'm going to do a WEATHER REPORT on this baby.

well ive never made a fan fic before but here goes....

Episode one V

'one V'?! WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?! And why did you just name the story after you? You apparently don't get the point of a title.

Character bio'sLAME.

Note:i put in Character bio's in as we go so heres the inportant characters

Name:Keith

Deck Style:Stars

Age:15

Hair:Gray

Hair Style:Spiked back

Eyes:Blue

 

Name:Kon

Deck Style:ocean

Age:14

Hair:Blonde

Hair Style:Downard Spikes

Eye:Green

 

Keith sits in a dark desalant room awaiting his train to stop.Lrn 2 spel.

Just then a boy sits at his table and asks if he would like to duel.You know' date=' you just tore out a possibly interesting chunk of the story here. It COULD have been like...

[i']Keith notices that inside of the empty, undescribed void he was sitting inside of, a caped man approached him! "I CHALLENGE YOU... TO A SWORDFIGHT!!"

"Okay!" Keith aggreed! hey both took out their swords and swiped at each other a few times, until the caped man noticed Keith's deckbox strapped onto his waist.

"LO AND BEHOLD!! Is that a fair DECK BOX on yonder belt?! I challenge you... TO A CARD DUEL!!"[/i]

Of course Keith replys "Yes yes i would....." Lrn 2 spel.

Kon replys "Kon my name is Kon" learn to punctuate

 

DUEL ON! WHAT THE HELL?! So the story is about a guy who sits by a train. Then he gets challenged to a duel. Then he wins. THE END?! This is a terrible first fic. If you'd looked at a few other stories on this site earlier, you'd know what quality really means.

 

'Keith go's first' Lrn 2 spel.

I will summon Star Resonator. (1300/1200 light/star-creature)

Star Resonator can once per any turn destroy 1 dark atribute creature on the field

You really can't do this. You're terrible at this. Please practice first.

"then i will place one face down and end my turn" learn to punctuate

 

'Kons turn'

I will play Ocean of Wonders as long as ths card remains face up on the field,

all aqua atribute creatures gain 600 ATK and 200 DEF and have 1 less star

now i summon Frog of Peace LV1 (1000/1200+card effects Aqua/Frog)

Frog of Peace LV1 can negate the attack of one creature per turn,

in return for 2 spell cards from your hand Dude, this is annoying. Make this normal already.

 

'Keiths turn'

I sacerfice Star Resonator and summon FireKnight (1900/1900 Pyro/Warrior)

No effect

Now activate Star Rebirth in order to bring back Star Resonator

Now i attack with FireKnight 1900 .V.S. 1600Do you call this a story?! It is, but it's still badly written. You can't spell, you can't use grammar...that's sad.

 

Kon:AHHHHH MY HEATLH 5000 - 4700 Who says that in real life? A bully hits you. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, MY HEALTH." you scream.

"AHH!! HE'S A CRAZY MAN, HE'S CRAZY!!" the bully yells, running away.

That doesn't happen in real life.

 

Keith:STAR RESONATOR ATTACK

 

Kon:NO AHHHH 4700 - 3400 Just look at how accidentally funny this is? "AH SUMMIN MR. DETH"

"AHH NO"

"ATTACK"

"AHH NO"

"YOUR TURN NOW"

"AHH NO"

 

Keith:I end my turn

 

'Kons turn'

I play Ocean Summon and I discard 12 stars worth of creatures from my hand inorder to summon.

OCEAN GODDES YEN (6400/6800+card effects Aqua/Devine Beast)

NOW ATTACK HIS FIRE KNIGHT How the hell are we supposed to accept how he suddenly won like that?

 

Keith:NOOOOOOOO 5000 - –100

 

Kon:You know why you lost right? Cause i cheated your deck is built around fighting one thing.

And mine is design to destroy anything

 

Keith:Well heres my stop thanks for dueling The train silently stopped, I guess.

 

Kon:Well..... Actually..... This is kinda my stop two. WHAT?! You have TWOOOOOOOOO STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPS?!?! Lrn 2 spel.

 

Keith:Where are you going?

 

Kon:Card shop tourmameant. So there's a place called Card Shop (pronounced as)Tour-Ma-Me-Ant? That's dumb. And since they aren't in the subway, they're taking a classic, old-timey locomotive across the country to participate in a tourmameant inside of a small store. SMART.

 

Keith:ME TWO. LRN 2 SPL LREDDY!!

 

Kon:Cool lets go

 

'As keith and kon were walking. A kitten walked up to Keith and licked him.' What the hell?! Why did that happen? Did somebody drop a kitty in the train station? Why should it be here of all places?

 

Keith:Oh hi little kitten you got a mom?

 

Kitten: YES. SHE DIED OF TUBERCULOSIS.

 

Kon:KEITH LOOK OUT WATCH OUT ITS A INVISIBLE GOUST APPARANTLEE

 

'Mom ravages Keith as if its her only kitten.' My mom would NEVER hurt somebody like that. Why did you write her in like that?

 

Keith:DANG YOU KON IS ALL YOR FALT MY LIF SUKS THOUH I JUST MEET YOU

 

'Chases Kon all the way tell there in the card shop' Then what was the train for? Why was the cat joke here(not even a good joke)? It's not funny. A kid finds a kitten and picks it up. The mother cat scratches it. Is this funny to you? SICKO.

 

Epsiode 2 V:Tourameant of Dreams Lrn 2 spl.

 

Bio's STOP IT!!

Name:Fon Fon

Deck Style:Dark

Age:8

Hair:not inportant cause hes only in fic once!

Hair Style:see hair

Eyes:by now you get it

 

Tournameant anouser (TA):Alright now lets start the first duel!!! So the main character goes into a train station, then gets out and runs to the nearby card tournament. Hubba-WHA?!

 

(TA):This kid is......

 

Fon Fon:YOUR NOT ANOUSING WRESTLING YOU KNOW!!!! NOT FUNNY. YOU'RE NOT FUNNY. WORK ON THAT.

 

(TA):Alright Alright sheash. Our duelest are fon fon and Kon Where exactly are they? Is the card shop in a desert and is the inside shaped like a seahorse? I don't know because you never told us. The people and the places have 0 description and thus are fail unless you DESCRIBE MORE.

 

(TA):LETS GET STARTED

 

'Fon Fon Go's First'

I PLAY FIRE TRAP 'T' FIRE TRAP 'R' AND FIRE TRAP 'A' AND 'P' ALLOWING ME TO DEAL YOU 4000 DAMAGE HOW DO YOU DRAW ALL OF THESE ON THE FIRST TURN?! HAX.

And i summon a creature in face down defence postioton and end my turn.Pls pls PLS LRN 2 SPL.

 

'Kons turn'

I play Ocean Summon and I discard 12 stars worth of creatures from my hand inorder to summon.

OCEAN GODDES YEN (6400/6800+card effects Aqua/Devine Beast)

NOW ATTACK HIS FACE DOWN CREATURE!!! HAX!! HAX!! HAAAAAAX!!!

 

Fon Fon:Gaint soldier of stone NOOOOOOOO. MAH BEST CARD!!

 

(TA):Ouch looks bad for fon fon Yeah, especially since he's ahead by 4000 LP. Full of fail.

 

'fon fons turn'

I summon a creature in face down defence postion and end my turn.

 

'Kons turn'

I summon Rekiga (2300/2300 Aqua/Devine Beast) Why? How is he so divine? He sucks compared to today's big cards.

I have to discard a card from my hand evrytime he attacks

 

ATTACK HIS FACE DOWN CREATURE REKIGA *discards card*

 

Fon Fon:GIANT SOLDIER OF STONE NOOOOOO What a loser. His deck is made up of 21% Fire Traps and 79% Giant Soldier of Stone. Especially since you said his deck was DARK-STYLE. IDIOTIC WRITING!!

 

Kon:NOW ATTACK HIM DERECTLY OCEAN GODDES YEN LRN 2 SPLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!

 

Fon Fon:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! 5000 - –1400 Generic Parson #3 drops a piece of paper onto the floor in his own house. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

 

(TA):LETS KEEP THIS TRAIN ROLLING FOLKS. Uh, okay. Nobody cares.

Everything I could say down here is already written above. Just because this is your first story doesn't mean you have a good excuse for not knowing how to write a good story.

[minigarra]

FIRST!!! V is pointing down to show WHERE BLOODY STORIES ARE.

SECOND!!! its not realavant at the time where they are CAUSE ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW IS WHAT THERE DOING AT THE TIME

THIRD!!! THE CAT SCHRATCHED KEITH AND TOOK THE KITTEN AWAY FROM HIM

FOURTH!!! IM 11 YOU @$$40!3 I DONT NEED TO SPELL CORRECTLY IN ORDER TO RIGHT A FAN FIC

FIFTH!!! WHY ME WHY NOT SOME OF THE OTHER @$$40!3'$ THAT SUCK AT WRIGHTING!!!!!!!!

SIXTH!!! THERE DECKS ARE BUILT AROUND DOING THESE THINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SO SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND INJOY YOUR GOOD REP WELL IT LAST JACK@$$

[Rideouter]

Ok, age isn't really a reason for why that your grammer isn't that good. Also he does this to everyone to help us learn and improve our writing. It is criticism, good or bad they are people's opinion. If you don't like it then you shouldn't have posted it on the World Wide Web. So you can take what he has stated and improve or go cry in the corner and give up on it, it is up to you.

[Weather Report - Stand]

FIRST!!! V is pointing down to show WHERE BLOODY STORIES ARE.

But it was PAINFULLY unnecessary.

SECOND!!! its not realavant at the time where they are CAUSE ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW IS WHAT THERE DOING AT THE TIME

No' date=' you just suck at description.[/color']

THIRD!!! THE CAT SCHRATCHED KEITH AND TOOK THE KITTEN AWAY FROM HIM

IT'S STILL NOT FUNNY!!

FOURTH!!! IM 11 YOU @$$40!3 I DONT NEED TO SPELL CORRECTLY IN ORDER TO RIGHT A FAN FIC

True, you don't need to spell well in order to write well, but you DO have to actually TRY. You just slapped some half-assed material together and called it awesome, you Naruto fanboy. And age is a crappy excuse, Kendo Fish is only 12. Look at the Pink Army story on this forum.

FIFTH!!! WHY ME WHY NOT SOME OF THE OTHER @$$40!3'$ THAT SUCK AT WRIGHTING!!!!!!!!

If you pulled your head out of your butt and looked at the other stories, you would have KNOWN I'VE BEEN DOING THIS TO EVERYBODY FOR THREE MONTHS SINCE I CAME HERE AND AM RESPECTED BY SOME AS ONE OF THE BEST CRITICS ON THIS FORUM. Suck on 'dat, sucka'!

SIXTH!!! THERE DECKS ARE BUILT AROUND DOING THESE THINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But drawing the same things every single duel? I doubt that it was a smart idea to make a deck out of Stone Guardian guys, cheap-ass draws and four traps that only work together. Spirit Board, anyone?

SO SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND INJOY YOUR GOOD REP WELL IT LAST JACK@$$

Do you think I care about reps? BARELY. ONLY BARELY... So I really don't care. And you know what? You've just violated:

 

The Jack Witt Clause

 

"You must be able to take criticism for your fanfic. Neg-repping a person just because they gave you a bad review or told you that your fanfic was bad in any other way is NOT OK. And most definitely, you should NOT REPORT IT. Instead, learn to live the comments and improve from them."

From the forum rules.

You're DEFINITELY not the first person to react this way(points to feline card maker, Emo, and whoever made that ugly 5D's comic that was canceled sometime ago), and I came in here realizing(the forum) that I was either gonna make friends, enemies, or both. And I was right. Choose a side, because this is how I treat EVERY BADLY WRITTEN STORY I'VE EVER SEEN.[/size]

[Kendo Fish]

I have been twelve since June 4th this year, and have far superior grammar to yours.

 

Not to mention I make far better arguments and don't call others @!#(O*$Y@^!&%^%.

 

You need to write correctly to write a good fan fic. If it's typed "Rouge Angles of Satin" it is automatically disqualified. Have you ever read a real, published book that had an un-purposeful typo every other line? NOPE.

[eyeofthedeck]

FIRST!!! V is pointing down to show WHERE BLOODY STORIES ARE.

SECOND!!! its not realavant at the time where they are CAUSE ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW IS WHAT THERE DOING AT THE TIME

THIRD!!! THE CAT SCHRATCHED KEITH AND TOOK THE KITTEN AWAY FROM HIM

FOURTH!!! IM 11 YOU @$$40!3 I DONT NEED TO SPELL CORRECTLY IN ORDER TO RIGHT A FAN FIC

FIFTH!!! WHY ME WHY NOT SOME OF THE OTHER @$$40!3'$ THAT SUCK AT WRIGHTING!!!!!!!!

SIXTH!!! THERE DECKS ARE BUILT AROUND DOING THESE THINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SO SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND INJOY YOUR GOOD REP WELL IT LAST JACK@$$

 

 

FIRST: Don't

SECOND: You actually need to describe their surroundings MEGA If you want to make your fanfic more successful

THIRD: What the hell was the point of that? Don't go throwing random things like that to try and make your episodes longer. I tried that once and got heaps of negative responses.

FOURTH: I'm eleven too so if my fanfic has at least MOST grammar and spelling correct than yours should too!

FIFTH: Because he REVIEWS fanfics and tells people where they need to improve but you had to be an @$$ about it and make a comeback post! He commented on my fanfic but instead of doing what you did, I took that advice.

SIXTH: Then their decks are pretty useless aren't they? If I had a deck made up of spell cards that do 500 or 800 points of damage and entered the world league I would lose the first duel!

 

Also, reputation isn't everything. I've only got 3 and I've been here like 5 times as long as Weather Report.

 

Think before you mindlessly try make a comeback post at someone who reviewed your fanfic negatively.