ThatPhantomGuy Posted August 17, 2009 Report Share Posted August 17, 2009 Phantom Corp. Presents:____________________________________________|\________/Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's: Dark Destiny\________/|\________/___/__________________\___\________/ [spoiler=Chapter I: Enter Dark] It was early morning Friday in New Domino City, Neo had gotten up to make himself some breakfast in the large mansion. Neo lives together with his sister, Nikko, in the Tops resident area, as their parents are usually at work. He picked up a newspaper off the corner of the grand table and skimmed it. "A new Duel Monsters tournament. Age... Ha! Oh joy, Nikko can enter too..." he laughed a little, "Better hide this..." Neo started trying to find a place to get rid of the paper when Nikko barged through the hallway. "Neo! We gotta go now!" she said grabbing her bag near where Neo was standing, "Oh!" Nikko stared at his hand, "A new tournament!" "H-Hey! School! Now!" Neo tossed the paper away and took his bag too. A low electronic bell rung throughout the large school in the afternoon, people walked out the front gates and some stayed behind. Neo exited the building along with some of his friends. "Yo! Neo!" a young black haired boy ran after him. "Kazuki, you know that guy?" Neo asked his friend while looking a the boy. "No... But I think he's in your sis' class." he nugged him with his elbow, "Heh heh, I bet I know why he wants to talk to you." "Neo!" the 15 year old panted. "And you are?" "O-Oh yeah! Um, I'm Suya..." "And what, heh heh, do you want?" Kazuki crossed his arms still smiling. "Uh, where's Nikko?" Neo sighed, and Kazuki was trying hard to not burst out in laughter. "Y-Yeah, I couldn't find her at the classrooms, and I wanted to ask her something..." he started looking around. Just then Nikko jumped on Neo's back, "Hey bro!" "W-What the-?! Nikko!" he tried to regain his balance and get his sister off his back. Neo finally shook her off and she fell on the grass, "Hey!" Nikko got up, holding the back of her skirt, "That's no way to treat a girl!" "No, it's not. Unless it's an back-breaking sister." Neo crossed his arms. "I hope you're not calling me fat!" she fummed, with her eyes looking like daggers at Neo. "Aha ha ha!" he cleared his throat, "Anyway, do you know this guy right here?" Neo pointed at Suya. "Oh yeah! Hey Suya!" she smiled at him, "What are you doing with Neo?" Kazuki stepped infront of the boy, "Heh, he just wanted to find you Nikko, that's all." he gave a wink at her. "U-Uh, yeah!" Suya looked at Nikko. "Okay, well I'm here." she smiled again, "Aw, I forgot my bag in the school... You wanna come with me to get it Suya?" "O-Okay then! Uh, later guys!" he trailed after Nikko. "Strange kid... Kazuki, Sena, Aase, let's go!" Neo turned and started walking. Neo entered a resturant in the late-afternoon with his friends, the place was well known for it's Duel Monsters atmosphere. All the employees that worked there wore Dark Magician or Dark Magician Girl outfits. They sat down at their usual spot, it was always kept open for them after school by the waitress that Neo liked. "Suzuna!" Neo greeted the beautiful blonde haired waitress as she walked over to their table. People sometimes mistaked the 18 year old Suzuna for the real Dark Magician Girl, she is a star waitress at the restaurant. "Hey you guys! Good to see you all, what would you like?" Suzuna smiled back. All four of them ordered their food, then she left. "Hey, have you heard of the new tournament?" Kazuki ask them. Aase sipped is drink, "Ja, it's a Tag Tournament." "And the finalist go to Kaiba Corp.!" Sena piped in. "So, you guys entering?" Neo look at all of them with a slight smile. "Ja." "Yep." "Heh, why not?" "I'll pair up with Neo." Aase gave a thumbs up to him. "And I get the worst duelist in our school?" Kazuki laughed. "Hey! I'm not that bad!" Sena jabbed a finger at him. "Ja, just the other day he beat a dueling monkey!" Aase started laughing with Kazuki. "Oh, shut up!" Sena pushed them both and was trying not to laugh also. "Aha ha ha ha! Okay guys, that's enough." Neo took a drink. Suzuna came back with their food and set it on the table, "Here you go guys, Neo." she winked, "Thank you." he nodded his head slightly, "Let's eat!" Sena took a bite of his food. It was dark out when they finished eating, "Thanks for the food Suzuna!" Neo said before they left. "Come back anytime!" They all walked outside into the nightsky, dimly street lights shed some light over the sidewalks and alleyways. "Ah, that was good. As always!" Kazuki streched his arms out. A loud cry for help ringed out though the near deserted streets. Sena looked around the streets nervously, "W-What was that?!" Neo ran in the direction they heard it from, along with the rest of them. A boy was laying on the ground in a dark alleyway, and three other people stood over him. "What's going on?!" Aase demanded, "Uh huh huh, looks like we got more losers Bigz." a plump boy said to the tall one, supposedly the leader. "Losers? Heh, you better watch your mouth fatty." Kazuki crossed his arms smirking. "Eh?! I'll crush you!" he roared. "Ja, with what? Weight?" Aase laughed along with Kazuki. "Enough guys. Now what happened here?" Neo asked the person named Bigz. "Well. Unfortunately for you, we can't have more people talking..." Bigz observed Neo and the rest, "Say! Let's have a duel, if you win I'll let you live. But if I win, eh he he he... Well let's just say you won't be talking much. Also, we'll duel with 8000 life points." the tall, thin character gave a nasty smile. "And what if I decline?" "Den I'll kill guys now." another person steped forward from beside Bigz and flipped open a switch-blade. Neo set his bag down, "Guys, get the boy on the ground and help him out." "Here's your disk Neo." Sena handed it to him. Bigz snapped his fingers, "Duel Disk!" the fat one gave him the disk from his bag. "LET'S DUEL." |DUEL DISK ACTIVATE|\__|DUEL ENGAGE|___/ Bigz:8000Neo:8000 "Okay, I'll go first. Draw!" Neo drew his card and looked at his hand, "I can work with this. I will summon Psychic Commander (ATK1400/DEF800) in attack mode." A swirl of gray smoke covered part of the ally and a hovering tank with a monster inside appeared. "Then end my turn." Bigz drew his card slowly, "Let's get this over with, I summon Giant Orc (ATK2200/DEF0)." A pale-green gaint armed with a large bone roared as it was summoned. "Now attack his Psychic monster!" The orc heaved the gaint bone and smashed Neo's monster with one great swing. Bigz:8000Neo:7200 Bigz sighed, "Now since my Orc has attacked, it's switched to defense mode. I'll place two face-down cards and end my turn." Neo drew his card, "I summon Telekinetic Shocker (ATK1700/DEF700)!" A monster with a red space-like suit and electricity flowing from his hands appeared. "Attack Giant Orc!" The Psychic monster electrified the Orc and destroyed it. "It's a minor draw-back..." Bigz said with no emotion. "Sure," Neo smirked, "I end my turn there." "I draw, hmmm..." Bigz gave his hand a dry stare then looked at the large boy behind him, "Gordo! Can't you build a Deck right?! All the cards I've drew are garbage!" he turned back to Neo, "Whatever, I'll place a monster in defense mode and another face-down. Your move." Neo gave Bigz a fierce look, "Cards arn't garbage... I will activate Change of Heart, which allows me to take one of your monsters and that set monster would do fine." he viewed the face-down monster, "Stealth Bird (ATK700/DEF1700), pretty good. Now I summon Psychic Jumper (ATK100/DEF1500)! Then I'll flip-summon Stealth Bird and because it's effect you lose 1000 Life Points!" The sky colored bird flew up into the air and blasted strong winds at Bigz. Bigz:7000Neo:7200 "I'm not done yet!" Neo clentched his fist, "I'll tune my Psychic Jumper (LV2) and your Stealth Bird (LV3) in order to Synchro Summon Magicial Android (ATK2400/DEF1700)!" Psychic Jumper turned into 2 white small stars and floated to the center of the field, then three green circles formed. Stealth Bird flew into the three rings and disappeared. A burst of light shown throughout the dark alleyway and a white magician-like monster appeared. "Android direct attack!" Bigz:4600Neo:7200 "Also! Telekinetic Shocker attack!" Bigz:2900Neo:7000 Bigz was hit full force by the powerful blast, "Tch!" Neo crossed his arms, "End turn. But before you draw Bigz, Magicial Andriod increases my Life Points by 600 for each face-up Psychic monster." Bigz:2900Neo:8200 "Errrrg... Draw." Bigz started laughing a little, "Eh he he he, I always have a backup plan! Activate Nightmare's Steelcage! Now we both can't attack for two turns." Bigz said with confidence as the cage covered both of them. "Your move." he said with another thin smile. Neo drew another card from his Deck, "I have a backup plan too. I summon Power Injector (ATK1300/DEF1400) in attack mode." The light green skinned monster with bolts on it's head and gaint cannons as arms stomped on the field. Neo put his hand out, "Then I activate my face-down card, Dust Tornado! Destroy his Steelcage!" A swirling tornado rose up from the card and enveloped the Steelcage and shattered it. Bigz started snickering, "Eh he he..." Neo ignored him and commanded his monster to attack, "Go, Shocker!" Telekinetic Shocker power up and electrocuted Bigz. Bigz:1200Neo:8200 "He he he he he he!" Bigz started laughing after the attack. "Magicial Andriod end this!" The powerful Psychic monster casted a mighty blast from it's rod that knocked Bigz to the ground. Bigz:0Neo:8200 \__|DUEL END|__/-|VICTORY: Neo|- Neo deactivated his duel disk and Sena ran up to him, "Good job Neo!" "It was an easy duel." Bigz's two goons walked to him, both had knives. "Eh he he he he he! I told you I always have a backup plan, and this is mine! Gordo, Lint." Bigz signaled them to attack. Lint ran towards Neo with his knife raised, "I'm gonna carve you into a work of art!" Neo blocked his wild swing and kicked his ribs. Gordo ran after Kazuki, he easily dodged all the attacks and threw an uppercut at the large boy's chin. Aase then wrenched the knife from a dazed Gordo's grasp and threw away. Lint swung at Neo's head, but he ducked and kicked Lint's leg causing him to fall hard. Kazuki held Gordo's arm and twisted it so he couldn't move. "B-Bigz!" Lint called out for him holding his ribs. Bigz turned and started walking away, "You guys are worthless. You can't even beat a couple of school boys." "Let the large one go Kazuki." Neo said to him. Kazuki released Gordo, he stumbled to his feet and ran back to Lint and Bigz holding his jaw. "Heh, like dogs with their tails tucked..." "Where's the boy?" Neo spun around. Sena looked at him, "I don't know, he's gone!" [spoiler=Chapter II: Turbo Dueling]Neo woke up the next day not knowing who or where that boy was. He grabbed a cup of coffie and walked to his private garage near the Dark's Mansion. His parent's had it built as a birthday present, along with the brand new black custom Duel Runner, so Neo could have a place to fix and test it. Neo took another sip of his coffee then set it down on one of the desktops in the garage. "Let's see here... I have a DWE-X Engine type, and a KPC-000 CPU to install... Heh, this thing will run fast." He slid his hand arcoss the D-Wheel, then grabbed some of his tools and started working on it. Just then Nikko popped her head in the door. "Hey! Morning bro!" she gave a big smile. Neo stood up and looked at her, "You going somewhere?" "I'm just going to go out with my friends for a while. Please?" He sighed and smiled slightly, "Sure." "Yay! Thanks Neo!" she jumped happily and ran off. Neo turned back to his Runner and started working on it again. A few hours later, he emerged from the garage and stretched out his arms. "I got it up and running... I wonder if I can ride it..." he took out and looked at his data-pad, "Meh, I have enough time" he slipped it back into his pocket and walked back inside the garage. Neo grabbed his black helmet from a rack and put it on, along with some long, brown gloves. He sat down on his black-as-night Duel Runner, pressed a couple of buttons on the Duel Runner and it gave a low hum, signaling it was ready to use. Neo pressed another button on the side of his helmet and the large garage door slowly opened, letting in the afternoon sunlight pierce inside the dim garage. Neo squinted his eyes to get used to the light and slipped his hands into the arm slots on the sides of the D-Wheel. He closed his eyes, for a while, imaging the starting lights in a Turbo Duel. "...1..." He revved up the engines. "Go!" Neo burst through walkway and towards the street. He flew past a couple of cars and pedestrians. "Turbo Duel! So this is how it feels..." he smiled. A red D-Wheel cut in front of him suddenly, Neo jerked his Runner to another lane so he wouldn't crash into it. "What the hell?!" Neo glared at the back of the Runner. He sped up ahead in front of the other person, to get some distance between them, and Neo turned his D-Wheel sideways then skid stopped. The other vehicle jerked to a stop also. "Hey! What's the deal?" the driver got off his Duel Runner. Neo got off his, "You almost got us both into road-kill back there!" "Oh, sorry. I was in a hurry..." "Yeah?" Neo crossed his arms. "Wait, you're a Duelist arn't you?" the driver looked at his Duel Runner. "Y-Yes. I assume you are too?" he felt for his Turbo deck that he constructed only days ago. "I am, how about a Turbo Duel?" "Let's go then." Neo's fingers itched with excitement. They both got on their D-Wheels and moved into position to race. "Ready...?" Neo looked at the driver. The duelist looked at him and nodded. "Go!" Both of them flew down the near deserted highway. "Speed World activate!" ___/|ENGAGE SPEED WORLD|\___|\_SWITCHING TO AUTO PILOT_/| ???: 4000\_Speed Counters: 0Neo: 4000\_Speed Counters: 0 "I'll start things off. Draw!" the driver looked at his hand, "Also, since this is a Turbo Duel, we both get one Speed Counter during our Standby Phase." ???: 4000\_Speed Counters: 1Neo: 4000\_Speed Counters: 1 "Okay, now I will summon Assault Beast (ATK:1900/DEF:1200) in attack mode!" a gladiator-like beast appeared beside his Runner, armed with a sword and a shield, "Next I set two cards face-down, your turn." "My first Turbo Duel..." Neo drew his card. ???: 4000\_Speed Counters: 2Neo: 4000\_Speed Counters: 2 "I will summon Krebons (ATK:1200/DEF:400) in attack mode also!" a strange creature appeared, it looked like a humanoid machine/puzzle. It's arms and legs were not connected, but levitating near close to the body. The duelist looked at the attack and defense info on his helmet, "That monster's attack is too low, and it's a Tuner. What's this guy up to?"" Neo took two more cards from his hand, "And lastly I'll put two face-downs." "Draw." ???: 4000\_Speed Counters: 3Neo: 4000\_Speed Counters: 3 The duelist viewed his cards for a second, "Assault Beast, attack!" The beast lunged at Neo's monster, ready to strike. "Hold it!" Neo put his hand out, "I will activate Krebons's special ability! At the cost of 800 of my Life Points, I can negate an attack towards Krebons!" ???: 4000\_Speed Counters: 3Neo: 3200\_Speed Counters: 3 The duelist's monster stopped it's attack and returned to it's position. "Hm, okay, I will set a monster in defense mode and place another face-down. End turn." "I'll draw." Neo took a card from his deck. ???: 4000\_Speed Counters: 4Neo: 3200\_Speed Counters: 4 He smiled at the card he drew, "Good. Now I can Synchro... I will now summon Mind Master (ATK:100/DEF:200)." A clynider-like machine with two long cords with hands at the end appeared beside Krebons. "He can't Synchro with two Tuners... Is he a beginner?" the duelist looked at the monster. "I know you can't Synchro with two Tuners, so I will use Mind Master's effect! By tributing a Psychic-Type monster and paying 800 Life Points I can Special Summon a Level 4 or lower Psychic-Type monster from my Deck in attack mode." ???: 4000\_Speed Counters: 4Neo: 2400\_Speed Counters: 4 Neo took out his Deck and filed through the cards, "This will do, Psychic Snail (ATK:1900/DEF:1200)!" The human-snail like monster took it's place where Krebons was. "And just to make sure my Synchro goes smoothly, I activate my face-down Trap; Dust Tornado, and I choose to destroy that card!" Neo pointed at the other duelist's left face-down, it revealed to be Defensive Draw. "Pretty good." he said as he put the Trap card into his Graveyard. "Now I'll tribute my Mind Master (LV1) and my Psychic Snail (LV4) to Synchro Summon Magicial Android (ATK:2400/DEF:1700)!" Three green circles appeared over the Duel Runners, Mind Master flew inside them followed by Neo's other monster. The two monsters disappeared and a outline of another monster appeared, one of the green circles moved down giving the monster form. All three rings disappeared and a wizard-like monster armed with a shield and rod landed beside Neo's Runner. "Now! Magicial Android attack Assault Beast!" "Trap card activate! Mirrior Force!" The Android's attack was thrusted back at him, and it was destroyed by the blast. "Ha! Guess I picked the wrong card with Dust Tornado... I will end my turn." Neo smiled to himself slightly. "Almost there... Draw!" the duelist quickly drew his card. ???: 4000\_Speed Counters: 5Neo: 2400\_Speed Counters: 5 "First I'll flip-summon my face-down monster, Sangan." A small three eyed furry creature jumped up from the ground. "Now Assault Beast, direct attack!" "I activate my other face-down, Speed Spell - Book of Moon! I will remove two of my Speed Counters," ???: 4000\_Speed Counters: 5Neo: 2400\_Speed Counters: 3 "to flip one monster face-down, and I choose your Beast!" The creature switched to defense mode and disappeared. "Nice save, Sangan attack!" The three eyed creature sprung a Neo and scratched him. ???: 4000\_Speed Counters: 5Neo: 1400\_Speed Counters: 2 Neo's Duel Runner slowed down some, he looked at the Speed Counters, "Right, I also lose a Speed Counter for every 1000 points of damage I take..." "I place a face-down card and end my turn." the duelist said. "Tsk." Neo drew his card. ???: 4000\_Speed Counters: 6Neo: 1400\_Speed Counters: 3 "An Angel Baton is very useful right now... I summon Telekinetic Shocker." A Pychic monster with a white helmet and electricity coming from his hands bursted besides Neo's Runner. "I'll get rid of the Beast first... Now attack the face-down monster!" Assault Beast was destroyed by the electrical attack. "I end my turn now." The duelist drew his card. ???: 4000\_Speed Counters: 7Neo: 1400\_Speed Counters: 4 "I'll switch Sangan to defense mode and set another monster. Turn end." Neo look at the duelist, "That was fast. Draw." ???: 4000\_Speed Counters: 8Neo: 1400\_Speed Counters: 5 "Shocker, attack that defense position card!" Neo's monster attacked and destroyed the face-down monster. "Next I'll set one monster, and end my turn." They both raced on to seperate road ways, but were close. "Draw." the duelist smiled when he looked at his card. ???: 4000\_Speed Counters: 9Neo: 1400\_Speed Counters: 6 "I summon Speed Warrior (ATK:900/DEF:400) in attack mode!" The monster had a helmet and wheels on his boots, he was skating down as fast as the Duel Runner. "And I'll flip-summon my Junk Synchron (ATK:1300/DEF:500)!" An orange machine-looking warrior appeared next to Speed Warrior. Neo looked at the card info, "A Tuner?" "Now I'll tribute Sangan (LV3), Speed Warrior (LV2), and Junk Synchron (LV3) to Synchro summon Stardust Dragon (ATK:2500/DEF:2000)!!!" The large, white dragon bursted with power and gave a loud roar towards Neo. Neo looked at the huge monster, "S-Stardust Dragon?!" "Since Sangan was sent from the Field to the Graveyard, I can add one monster with an attack of 1500 or less to my hand..." he looked through his deck and picked out a card, "I choose Junk Synchron." the duelist clenched his fist, "Now Stardust, attack Telekinetic Shocker!" The dragon powered up and gave a large blast that instantly destroyed the Psychic monster. ???: 4000\_Speed Counters: 9Neo: 600\_Speed Counters: 6 "I end my turn." Neo looked at his Life Points, "Not good... Draw. I may have a chance..." ???: 4000\_Speed Counters: 10Neo: 600\_Speed Counters: 7 "I activate a Speed Spell! Angel Baton-!" "Stop! Trap activate, MagicDrain. Unless you can discard one spell card from your hand, that Angel Baton is negated!" "I don't have a spell card, so I'll set a monster and a card face-down. End turn." The duelist drew his card. ???: 4000\_Speed Counters: 11Neo: 600\_Speed Counters: 8 "I summon Junk Synchron, and due to it's effect I can special summon one Level 2 or lower monster from my Graveyard in face-up defense mode. I'll special summon Speed Warrior!" Neo looked at the opposing monsters, "He can Synchro again." "And then I'll Synchro again with Junk Synchron (LV3) and Speed Warrior (LV2)! Come out Junk Warrior (ATK:2300/DEF:1300)!" The purple machine/warrior bursted from the Synchro and flew beside the duelist's dragon. "Junk Warrior! Attack that monster!" Neo's face-down monster shattered from Junk Warrior's massive punch. "And Stardust Dragon, destroy the other monster!" Neo was defenseless after his last monster was destroyed by the large dragon. "Hold it!" one of Neo's face-down cards, "Now I activate Speed Spell - Last Will! At the cost of six Speed Counters I can special summon a monster from my deck with an attack of 1500 or less." Neo picked out a card, "I choose Gemini Summoner (ATK:1500/DEF:0)!" ???: 4000\_Speed Counters: 11Neo: 600\_Speed Counters: 2 The spellcaster appeared besides Neo's Runner in defense mode. "I end my turn." Neo closed his eyes, "I'm putting all my faith into my deck... Draw!" he looked at the card and smiled. ???: 4000\_Speed Counters: 12Neo: 600\_Speed Counters: 3 "I summon Psychic Jumper (ATK:100/DEF:1500)!!!" A light purpled skinned monster with a dark brown trechcoat gave a low hum as it was summoned. "Now Synchro! Gemini Summoner (LV4), Psychic Jumper (LV2)! Come forth, Arcanite Magician (ATK:400/DEF:1800)!!!" The spellcaster dressed in white with a green rod, slahed the air with his hand and assumed his position besides Neo's runner. "My monster recieves 2 Spell Counters when it is Synchro summoned, and it gains 1000 attack for each Spell Counters on him (ATK:2400/DEF:1800). Now my magician, attack Junk Warrior!" Arcanite casted a powerful blast that destroyed the duelist's warrior. ???: 3900\_Speed Counters: 12Neo: 600\_Speed Counters: 3 "Now I activate Arcanite's other effect! By removing one Spell Counter I can destroy a card you control, so I choose to destroy your Dragon!" The duelist looked at him, "Not so fast! I activate Stardust Dragon special ability! By tributing it, I can negate a activation that would destroy cards on the field and destroy that card!" Stardust disappeared and Neo's magician was destroyed. "Tsk. So we both do not have monsters..." Neo put Arcanite Magician in the Graveyard, "I'll end-" "Now come back to the field, Stardust Dragon!!!" "What?!" Neo looked at the powerful monster in disbelief. "When I negate a card by tributing Stardust, I can special summon it from my Graveyard at the end phase." "That dragon..." "My turn, draw!" ???: 3900\_Speed Counters: 12Neo: 600\_Speed Counters: 4 "Stardust Dragon direct attack!!!" ???: 3900\_Speed Counters: 12Neo: 0\_Speed Counters: 2 The blast shook Neo's Runner and it shut down, skidding to a stop. The other duelist stopped as well. ____/|TURBO DUEL END|\____|\_SWITCHING TO MANUAL_/|\______VICTORY-???_______/ "Hey." the duelist got off his Duel Runner, "You're a pretty good duelist." "Thanks... Yeah, 100 points of damage... You're a strong duelist. By the way, I'm Neo Dark." he took off his helmet and extended his hand. The other duelist took off his helmet also and shook Neo's hand, "Yusei Fudo." [spoiler=Profiles][spoiler=Good][spoiler=Neo]Name: Neo DarkAge: 16Gender: MaleAppearance: Neo has short, dark brown hair covering most of his right eye, a piercing green left eye is clearly visible. He has a somewhat muscular build. He is a little taller than the average height of a 16 year old.Background: He comes from a rather rich family, he has a 15 year old sister, Nikko. His father and mother works for KaibaCorp. they are nearly always away from home. He started dueling at 6 years old, with a deck his father created. Neo has won countless tournaments in different reigons. He owns a custom Duel Runner. Personality: Neo acts as polite as he can. He likes to duel strong duelist and enjoys dueling altogether. Neo can be a little over-protective for Nikko. He hates when an upper-class duelist thinks lowly of a weaker duelist. He'll go out of his way to help a friend in need.Deck: Neo uses a Psychic Deck. It focuses on summoning his Psychic Synchro monsters. [spoiler=Nikko]Name: Nikko DarkAge: 15Gender: FemaleAppearance: Nikko has long blonde hair that goes to her shoulders and she has blue eyes. Her physic is close of that to a 17 year old. She has the average height of a 15 year old girl. Background: She is the daughter of Bruce and Alexis Dark, and Neo's sister. Nikko won her first Duel Monster Tournament at the age of 10. She is one of the heart-throbs in her class.Personality: Nikko loves dueling, but can be too competitive at times. She prefers dueling guys over girls for the fact that Nikko sees them as stronger competitors than her female friends. She usually tags along wherever Neo goes.Deck: Nikko uses her own special Deck she calls 'Gotta Love the Ladies'. It's focused around female monsters, with the exception of Chaos Command Magician, which she keeps in her Deck because "he's hot". [spoiler=Kazuki]Name: Kazuki FugawaAge: 16Gender: MaleAppearance: Kazuki has short, spiky sand colored hair and has a small scar over his right eye. He has a normal build and the average height of a 16 year old.Background: Kazuki grew up on the streets, making him a good fighter. He first met Neo when he transfered to his school, they both got into a fist-fight and were evenly matched. They became quick friends afterwards. Personality: He likes a good fight and a duel, but prefers fists over his cards. He will protect all his friends and won't back down without a fight.Deck: He uses a Beat-Down Deck focusing on strong monsters with high ATK's. [spoiler=Aase]Name: Aase ShiroganeAge: 16Gender: MaleAppearance: He has black hair that flows near his shoulders and blue eyes. He has a normal build and a little taller than the height of a 16 year old.Background: Aase comes from a normal family. He got interested in Duel Monsters around the age of 9 and started out slow, but is now a very strong competitor. He owns a Duel Runner. Personality: He is kind, gentle and mostly silent. He is a good duelist and has a vast knowledge on cards. Deck: Aase uses a Warrior Deck, focusing on summoning his Warrior Synchro monsters. [spoiler=Sena]Name: Sena TaksakaAge: 15Gender: MaleAppearance: Sena has short black hair parted to one side and has brown eyes. He has a normal build and height of a 15 year old.Background: He comes from a family that is known for strong duelist. Sena is the youngest of his two brothers, both of them are strong tournament competitors. His father once dueled the number one duelist in America. Personality: Sena can be shy around people at times, but is energetic around his friends. He tries his best to show his family that he is a strong duelist. Deck: Sena uses a Morphtronic Machine Deck. [spoiler= [color=#FFD700]*New*[/color] Yusei]Name: Yusei FudoAge: 18Gender: MaleAppearance: Already known. Background: Already known. Personality: Already known.Deck: Already known. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DX4Eva Posted August 23, 2009 Report Share Posted August 23, 2009 Wow, I'm impressed!I really can't find much wrong, except for a couple of commas missing here and there. Carry this on! -This is a thanks for replying to mine- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ryno Dorcus Posted August 23, 2009 Report Share Posted August 23, 2009 This is awesome. Well done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mysty Posted August 23, 2009 Report Share Posted August 23, 2009 The storyline is good, but you need to add a few more details in all the descriptions to stretch out the chapter. That's mainly why the Harry Potter books were so big. Also, get rid of the script format; script format is officially banned since it takes away the details from the duel. Example of what NOT to do (which is basically what you were doing except you added quotation marks):Jaden: I activate Polymerization to fuse together Avian and Burstinatrix in order to create Elemental Hero Flame Wingman! Example of what to do:"I activate Polymerization to fuse together Avian and Burstinatix in order to create Elemental Hero Flame Wingman!" Jaden declared. A swirling portal appeared. A woman in a red suit and a man in a green bird suit flew into the portal. A flash of light appeared and, where the portal was, instead was a mostly green human-shaped creature with wings and a red dragon head instead of a right hand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatPhantomGuy Posted August 24, 2009 Author Report Share Posted August 24, 2009 Thank you all, I appreciate it! I am working on Chapter II right now... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatPhantomGuy Posted August 30, 2009 Author Report Share Posted August 30, 2009 Bump Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ryno Dorcus Posted August 31, 2009 Report Share Posted August 31, 2009 Chapter 2 was sick. Loved it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatPhantomGuy Posted September 2, 2009 Author Report Share Posted September 2, 2009 Bump Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mysty Posted September 2, 2009 Report Share Posted September 2, 2009 Arcanite Magician is a level 7 monster. Psychic Jumper and Gemini Summoner only adds up to 6. Also, Speed Spell - Last Will is a Normal Spell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatPhantomGuy Posted September 2, 2009 Author Report Share Posted September 2, 2009 Oh. Well then. Crap. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Mousy Posted September 2, 2009 Report Share Posted September 2, 2009 So... Long... Damn ... it... That's why I never write Yugioh Fanfics... I guess this isn't a constructive comment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatPhantomGuy Posted September 2, 2009 Author Report Share Posted September 2, 2009 No, it's really not that long. Yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weather Report - Stand Posted September 2, 2009 Report Share Posted September 2, 2009 I was told to review this, so...Phantom Corp. Presents:____________________________________________|\________/Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's: Dark Destiny\________/|\________/___/__________________\___\________/ [spoiler=Chapter I: Enter Dark] It was early morning Friday in New Domino City' date=' Neo had gotten up to make himself some breakfast in the large mansion. Neo lives together with his sister, Nikko, in the Tops resident area, as their parents are usually at work. Okay, we've set up the setting already, good.He picked up a newspaper off the corner of the grand table and skimmed it. Okay."A new Duel Monsters tournament. Age... Ha! Oh joy, Nikko can enter too..." he laughed a little, "Better hide this..." Neo started trying to find a place to get rid of the paper when Nikko barged through the hallway.Heh, an irritating sister, I suspect... WAIT JUST A GOSH-DARN SECOND!! Neo...Nikko...Rua? Ruka?! LEO?!?! Was this intentional?"Neo! We gotta go now!" she said grabbing her bag near where Neo was standing, "Oh!" Nikko stared at his hand, "A new tournament!"Le gasp! This also reminds me of the tourney from 5D's too! Because it's a tourney! AAAAAHH!!"H-Hey! School! Now!" Neo tossed the paper away and took his bag too. A low electronic bell rung throughout the large school in the afternoon, people walked out the front gates and some stayed behind. Neo exited the building along with some of his friends. Lemme guess, DUEL ACADEMY? Actually that's pretty normal, so it's acceptable."Yo! Neo!" a young black haired boy ran after him.So instead of 'said', he 'ran' his call. That's pretty tough to do. He's gos mad skillz."Kazuki, you know that guy?" Neo asked his friend while looking a the boy.KAZUKI TAKAHASHI?! WAS THAT INTENTIONAL AS WELL?!"No... But I think he's in your sis' class." he nugged him with his elbow, "Heh heh, I bet I know why he wants to talk to you."Heh, nugg. Not nudge."Neo!" the 15 year old panted. It's cooler to spell out numbers."And you are?" "O-Oh yeah! Um, I'm Suya..." "And what, heh heh, do you want?" Kazuki crossed his arms still smiling. "Uh, where's Nikko?" Neo sighed, and Kazuki was trying hard to not burst out in laughter. "Y-Yeah, I couldn't find her at the classrooms, and I wanted to ask her something..." he started looking around. Just then Nikko jumped on Neo's back, "Hey bro!"As stated by Joey; 'Suprise butsecks!'"W-What the-?! Nikko!" he tried to regain his balance and get his sister off his back. Neo finally shook her off and she fell on the grass, "Hey!" Nikko got up, holding the back of her skirt, "That's no way to treat a girl!" Oh, so they DO wear clothing here, I had no idea!"No, it's not. Unless it's an back-breaking sister." Neo crossed his arms. "I hope you're not calling me fat!" she fummed, with her eyes looking like daggers at Neo. "Aha ha ha!" he cleared his throat, "Anyway, do you know this guy right here?" Neo pointed at Suya. "Oh yeah! Hey Suya!" she smiled at him, "What are you doing with Neo?" Kazuki stepped infront of the boy, "Heh, he just wanted to find you Nikko, that's all." he gave a wink at her. "U-Uh, yeah!" Suya looked at Nikko. "Okay, well I'm here." she smiled again, "Aw, I forgot my bag in the school... You wanna come with me to get it Suya?" "O-Okay then! Uh, later guys!" he trailed after Nikko.Lemme guess, he likes her? Kinda dumb if not done correctly.Make sure to write this as awesomely as possible."Strange kid... Kazuki, Sena, Aase, let's go!" Neo turned and started walking. Neo entered a resturant in the late-afternoon with his friends, the place was well known for it's Duel Monsters atmosphere. All the employees that worked there wore Dark Magician or Dark Magician Girl outfits. They sat down at their usual spot, it was always kept open for them after school by the waitress that Neo liked. That's actually kinda creepy, in a Kaiba-Land sort of way. Shouldn't the Dark Macician guy be sweating in that huge costume?"Suzuna!" Neo greeted the beautiful blonde haired waitress as she walked over to their table. People sometimes mistaked the 18 year old Suzuna for the real Dark Magician Girl, she is a star waitress at the restaurant.That's kinda dumb. "Oh, look! It's MONA LISA AT STARBUCKS!! I just GOTTA get her signature!!""Hey you guys! Good to see you all, what would you like?" Suzuna smiled back. All four of them ordered their food, then she left. "Hey, have you heard of the new tournament?" Kazuki ask them. Aase sipped is drink, "Ja, it's a Tag Tournament."'Ja'?!"And the finalist go to Kaiba Corp.!" Sena piped in. "So, you guys entering?" Neo look at all of them with a slight smile. "Ja."You mean that they say something that sounds like "Jaw"? Or "Jay"? Or "Juh"? "Jub"?"Yep." "Heh, why not?" "I'll pair up with Neo." Aase gave a thumbs up to him. "And I get the worst duelist in our school?" Kazuki laughed. "Hey! I'm not that bad!" Sena jabbed a finger at him. "Ja, just the other day he beat a dueling monkey!" Aase started laughing with Kazuki.WA-hahahaha!! Dueling monkey..."Oh, shut up!" Sena pushed them both and was trying not to laugh also. "Aha ha ha ha! Okay guys, that's enough." Neo took a drink. Suzuna came back with their food and set it on the table, "Here you go guys, Neo." she winked, "Thank you." he nodded his head slightly, "Let's eat!" Sena took a bite of his food. It was dark out when they finished eating,Either they had a good conversation going, or they took their time to chew every bite 25 times, SLOWLY."Thanks for the food Suzuna!" Neo said before they left. "Come back anytime!" They all walked outside into the nightsky, dimly street lights shed some light over the sidewalks and alleyways. "Ah, that was good. As always!" Kazuki streched his arms out. A loud cry for help ringed out though the near deserted streets. Sena looked around the streets nervously, "W-What was that?!" Neo ran in the direction they heard it from, along with the rest of them. A boy was laying on the ground in a dark alleyway, and three other people stood over him.GASP!! BRAHM STROKER'S DRACULA STRIKES AGAIN!! If I spelled the name wrong, don't tell me."What's going on?!" Aase demanded, "Uh huh huh, looks like we got more losers Bigz." a plump boy said to the tall one, supposedly the leader.Heh, the dumb, fat guy. Let me guess, again, is the tall guy...SMART?!"Losers? Heh, you better watch your mouth fatty." Kazuki crossed his arms smirking. "Eh?! I'll crush you!" he roared.By sitting on them?"Ja, with what? Weight?" Aase laughed along with Kazuki.Hey, they copied me!!"Enough guys. Now what happened here?" Neo asked the person named Bigz. "Well. Unfortunately for you, we can't have more people talking..." Bigz observed Neo and the rest, "Say! Let's have a duel, if you win I'll let you live. But if I win, eh he he he... Well let's just say you won't be talking much. Also, we'll duel with 8000 life points." the tall, thin character gave a nasty smile."No way, bub, my friend just called the cops.""Hubba-WHAT?!" Suddenly, dozens of police cars appear on the scene and capture the two guys. "And I would've gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those meddling kids and their stupid dog!!"The kids patted Scooby-Doo, who affectionately ended the show with "Rooby-rooby roo!!""You said a mouthfull," Kazuki laughed! The screen faded to black before playing the credits to the original Transformers cartoon. "And what if I decline?" "Den I'll kill guys now." another person steped forward from beside Bigz and flipped open a switch-blade."So what, I've got a pistol!"Neo set his bag down, "Guys, get the boy on the ground and help him out." "Here's your disk Neo." Sena handed it to him. Bigz snapped his fingers, "Duel Disk!" the fat one gave him the disk from his bag. "LET'S DUEL."Or, alternatively, the bad guys COULD just kill them, seeing as they like killing things.|DUEL DISK ACTIVATE|\__|DUEL ENGAGE|___/ Bigz:8000Neo:8000 "Okay, I'll go first. Draw!" Neo drew his card and looked at his hand, "I can work with this. I will summon Psychic Commander (ATK1400/DEF800) in attack mode." A swirl of gray smoke covered part of the ally and a hovering tank with a monster inside appeared. "Then end my turn."That was it? That... was stupid.Bigz drew his card slowly, "Let's get this over with, I summon Giant Orc (ATK2200/DEF0)." How un-like the player.A pale-green gaint armed with a large bone roared as it was summoned. "Now attack his Psychic monster!" The orc heaved the gaint bone and smashed Neo's monster with one great swing. Bigz:8000Neo:7200 Bigz sighed, "Now since my Orc has attacked, it's switched to defense mode. I'll place two face-down cards and end my turn." Neo drew his card, "I summon Telekinetic Shocker (ATK1700/DEF700)!" A monster with a red space-like suit and electricity flowing from his hands appeared.Why not the overly cool Psychic Snail, who is alot better overall??"Attack Giant Orc!" The Psychic monster electrified the Orc and destroyed it. "It's a minor draw-back..." Bigz said with no emotion. "Sure," Neo smirked, "I end my turn there." "I draw, hmmm..." Bigz gave his hand a dry stare then looked at the large boy behind him, "Gordo! Can't you build a Deck right?! All the cards I've drew are garbage!" he turned back to Neo, "Whatever, I'll place a monster in defense mode and another face-down. Your move."Heh, what idiot would force a kid ho is obviously retarded build a deck? And I hope I didn't just offend some people here.Neo gave Bigz a fierce look, "Cards arn't garbage... Except for Spikebot. Nobody likes Spikebot. I will activate Change of Heart, which allows me to take one of your monsters and that set monster would do fine." he viewed the face-down monster, "Stealth Bird (ATK700/DEF1700), pretty good. Now I summon Psychic Jumper (ATK100/DEF1500)! Then I'll flip-summon Stealth Bird and because it's effect you lose 1000 Life Points!"Your character sounds rushed here. Slow him down a bit, with some commas.The sky colored bird flew up into the air and blasted strong winds at Bigz. Bigz:7000Neo:7200 "I'm not done yet!" Neo clentched his fist, "I'll tune my Psychic Jumper (LV2) and your Stealth Bird (LV3) in order to Synchro Summon Magicial Android (ATK2400/DEF1700)!" Psychic Jumper turned into 2 white small stars and floated to the center of the field, then three green circles formed. Stealth Bird flew into the three rings and disappeared. A burst of light shown throughout the dark alleyway and a white magician-like monster appeared. "Android direct attack!"IT DOESN'T LOOK RIGHT WITHOUT A COMMA YOU SEE!!!Bigz:4600Neo:7200 "Also! Telekinetic Shocker attack!" Bigz:2900Neo:7000 Bigz was hit full force by the powerful blast, "Tch!" Neo crossed his arms, "End turn. But before you draw Bigz, Magicial Andriod increases my Life Points by 600 for each face-up Psychic monster." Bigz:2900Neo:8200 "Errrrg... Draw." Bigz started laughing a little, "Eh he he he, I always have a backup plan! Activate Nightmare's Steelcage! Now we both can't attack for two turns." Bigz said with confidence as the cage covered both of them. "Your move." he said with another thin smile.Heh, what a dummiot. It's a dummy--and an idiot!! Get it?Neo drew another card from his Deck, "I have a backup plan too. I summon Power Injector (ATK1300/DEF1400) in attack mode." The light green skinned monster with bolts on it's head and gaint cannons as arms stomped on the field. Neo put his hand out, "Then I activate my face-down card, Dust Tornado! Destroy his Steelcage!" A swirling tornado rose up from the card and enveloped the Steelcage and shattered it.Wa-wa-wa-waaaaaaa... FAILURE...Bigz started snickering, "Eh he he..." Neo ignored him and commanded his monster to attack, "Go, Shocker!" Telekinetic Shocker power up and electrocuted Bigz. Bigz:1200Neo:8200 "He he he he he he!" Bigz started laughing after the attack.What's going on here? What am I missing? Did Bigz just remember a funny joke? Tell me the funny joke. I WANNA HEAR A FUNNY JOKE."Magicial Andriod end this!" The powerful Psychic monster casted a mighty blast from it's rod that knocked Bigz to the ground. Bigz:0Neo:8200 \__|DUEL END|__/-|VICTORY: Neo|- Neo deactivated his duel disk and Sena ran up to him, "Good job Neo!" "It was an easy duel." Bigz's two goons walked to him, both had knives. Wa-wa-wa-waaaaaa... FAILURE. Could have been avoided or seen coming. Plus they could've killed them while they were playing. NOBODY expects to die while playing a card game. See for yourself! Well, don't KILL yourself, but some guy could leap out at random and shout 'BOO!!', and I bet you may or may not expect it."Eh he he he he he! I told you I always have a backup plan, and this is mine! Gordo, Lint." Bigz signaled them to attack. Lint ran towards Neo with his knife raised, "I'm gonna carve you into a work of art!" So THAT'S why Mona Lisa was at Starbucks earlier!!Neo blocked his wild swing and kicked his ribs. Gordo ran after Kazuki, he easily dodged all the attacks and threw an uppercut at the large boy's chin. Aase then wrenched the knife from a dazed Gordo's grasp and threw away. Lint swung at Neo's head, but he ducked and kicked Lint's leg causing him to fall hard. Kazuki held Gordo's arm and twisted it so he couldn't move. "B-Bigz!" Lint called out for him holding his ribs. Bigz turned and started walking away, "You guys are worthless. You can't even beat a couple of school boys."Oh yeah, try beating THIS guy up! HE'S a High School Student!Obligitory Jo Jo's Bizarre Adventure reference video"Let the large one go Kazuki." Neo said to him. Kazuki released Gordo, he stumbled to his feet and ran back to Lint and Bigz holding his jaw. "Heh, like dogs with their tails tucked..." "Where's the boy?" Neo spun around. Sena looked at him, "I don't know, he's gone!" NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! Well, I kinda expected most of the stuff that happened, and the duel was kinda stupid, due to the idiot ball getting passed around the entire bad guy team. It's A LOT better than most of the stories on this site, but could be a lot better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mpoi Posted September 2, 2009 Report Share Posted September 2, 2009 Its GREAT..the plots set up right...all i can say is AWESOME...and stare at a screan full of perfect writing...you should be a writer! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatPhantomGuy Posted September 2, 2009 Author Report Share Posted September 2, 2009 Aha ha ha haaaaa! Thank you Mr. Weather Report, I appreciate it! I know what to improve on now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CeDeFiA Posted September 3, 2009 Report Share Posted September 3, 2009 Loooonnng. But thats good =P You've done a really good job with those chapters. Can't wait to see more =P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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