$ûþ®èmè Kì�§ Posted July 24, 2009 Report Share Posted July 24, 2009 Hi i'm FireBoy 123 and i've made a Yu-Gi-Ho Story about a Duellist Tornament But first the characters in the Chapters are:Jaden, Chaz, Yugi, Syrus, Bastion and Zain So the story begins......... Once in Duel Acadamey there was a new Duel Student Yugi Motoso the Duel Acadamey decide for him to duel Other Members of Duel Acedamy So First he Duels Zain "Welcome to Duel Academy" said Zain"Thanks, but its time to duel!" shouted Yugi"DUEL" said both of them "First of all i'll play Dry Bones in attack mode" said ZainDry Bones has 200 Attack Points"I end my Turn" Added Zain"My move" said Yugi"First of all i play the Spell Card Scientist Ritual so I tribute your Dry Bones to Summon Dr Neo Cortex in attack mode!!!!!!" yelled Yugi"That pathetic thing OMG it has 0 Attack Points" said Zain, laughing"Oh yeah!" Said Yugi, I sacrifice Him to play Super Orangutan and i attack you directly" He added.So Zain's Life Points were reduced from 4000 to 2100"Ohhhh damn you!!!", Zain yelled "Now its my move and i play Toon Alligator in Attack Mode but i Equip the card Axe Of Despair to him so he gains 1000 Attack Points, and I end my Turn" Zain addedSo Toon Alligator's Attack Points increased from 800 to 1800"I thought you never would so i play the Spell Card Rush Reckleslly and Super Orangutan gains 700 Attack Points taking him onto 2600 and I attack that Toon Alligator, and now I end my Turn" said Yugi.So Zain's Life Points were Reduced from 2100 to 900."I HATE YOU YUGI" yelled ZainNow i play Monster Reborn to Special Summon Toon Aligator back from the grave and i sacrifice him to play Cyber Dragon......"NOT SO FAST" yelled Yugi "I PLAY THE TRAP Trap Hole and Cyber Dragon gets destroyed" he added"YUGI I'M GONNA KILL YOU, BECAUSE I NOW HAVE TO END MY TURN!!!!!!""Okay, my move, first of all i'll finish you off by attacking you directly, Super Orangutan attack him directly!!!!KABOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!So Zain's Life Points were reduced from 900 to 0"I WIN" yelled Yugi The End of chapter 1!The rest coming soon! The next Duel will be Yugi VS BastionA FireBoy123 production Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kendo Fish Posted July 24, 2009 Report Share Posted July 24, 2009 Yu-Gi-Ho? That sounds inappropriate. I smell comedy gold. Prepare for wa WEATHER REPORT.Hi i'm FireBoy 123 and i've made a Yu-Gi-Ho Story about a Duellist Tornament But first the characters in the Chapters are:Jaden' date=' Chaz, Yugi, Syrus, Bastion and ZainBad spelling and worse grammar dashes any hope I had for this story.So the story begins......... Once in Duel Acadamey there was a new Duel Student Yugi MotoFirst of all, it's obvious you didn't spell-check. Second, Yugi never WENT to Duel Academy. When they were created SPOILER he gave Jaden a Winged Kuriboh! this is just a pipe dream. Third, there's absolutely no punctuation, not even a period! Come on!so the Duel Acadamey decide for him to duel Other Members of Duel Acedamy Terrible grammar, no explanation, horrid capitalization, brave new world. Get me out.So First he Duels Zain UGH. You should know what's wrong with his sentence."Welcome to Duel Academy" said Zain"No punctuation" said me"Thanks, but its time to duel!" shouted YugiWUT!?!? They just say "Hi, let's duel" and begin?"DUEL" said both of them "First of all i'll play Dry Bones in attack mode" said ZainTerrible grammar and punctuation.Dry Bones has 200 Attack PointsWhat does he look like?"I end my Turn" Added ZainThis capitalization flat-out sucks."My move" said YugiSuckage."First of all i play the Spell Card Scientist Ritual so I tribute your Dry Bones to Summon Dr Neo Cortex in attack mode!!!!!!" yelled YugiYOU USED A CRASH BANDICOOT CHARACTER. OH MY GOSH, THIS IS GONNA SUCK."That pathetic thing OMG it has 0 Attack Points" said Zain, laughingPEOPLE IN THESE STORIES KNOW NOTHING ABOUT YU-GI-"HO". THE WEAKEST CARDS HAVE THE MOST PWNSOME EFFECTS. DOY."Oh yeah!" Said Yugi, The way he says it sounds like "Oh yeah! You're right! I regret my summon!" I sacrifice Him He sacrifices God? to play Super Orangutan What? and i attack you directly" He added.Total suckage.So Zain's Life Points were reduced from 4000 to 2100How did you mess up how Life Points are lowered? Is this story really THAT BAD?"Ohhhh damn you!!!", Zain yelled "Now its my move and i play Toon Alligator in Attack Mode but i Equip the card Axe Of Despair to him so he gains 1000 Attack Points, and I end my Turn" Zain addedToon Alligator? *laughs* ZANE really sucks in this paranpoid alternate universe. He cusses at others while playing children's card games?So Toon Alligator's Attack Points increased from 800 to 1800"I thought you never would so i play the Spell Card Rush Reckleslly and Super Orangutan gains 700 Attack Points taking him onto 2600 and I attack that Toon Alligator, and now I end my Turn" said Yugi.So Zain's Life Points were Reduced from 2100 to 900."I HATE YOU YUGI" yelled ZainThis sentence is just hilarious.Now i play Monster Reborn to Special Summon Toon Aligator back from the grave and i sacrifice him to play Cyber Dragon......"NOT SO FAST" yelled Yugi "I PLAY THE TRAP Trap Hole and Cyber Dragon gets destroyed" he addedIt's so atrocious it's funny. i don't even have to stick a joke in about that. It's just that bad."YUGI I'M GONNA KILL YOU, BECAUSE I NOW HAVE TO END MY TURN!!!!!!"*hyena laughter*"Okay, my move, first of all i'll finish you off by attacking you directly, Super Orangutan attack him directly!!!!KABOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!FUNNY FOR ALL THE WRONG REASONS.So Zain's Life Points were reduced from 900 to 0"I WIN" yelled Yugi The End of chapter 1!The rest coming soon! The next Duel will be Yugi VS BastionA FireBoy123 productionThis is a fanboy's dream. Yugi goes to Duel Academy and duels with orangutans, ZANE uses Toon Alligator and takes duels too seriously, he wins every single duel. Except maybe against Jaden. Yu-Gi-HO? You may be right about that. Because this plot is just ridiculous in the worst way. It's an utter failure. Research some other fiction around here and DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT. Lastly, please, PLEASE learn how to spell YU-GI-OH. Kendo Fish, out. *teleports* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kuro no Keiyakushu Posted July 24, 2009 Report Share Posted July 24, 2009 Yu-Gi-Ho? That sounds inappropriate. I smell comedy gold. Prepare for wa WEATHER REPORT.Hi i'm FireBoy 123 and i've made a Yu-Gi-Ho Story about a Duellist Tornament But first the characters in the Chapters are:Jaden' date=' Chaz, Yugi, Syrus, Bastion and ZainBad spelling and worse grammar dashes any hope I had for this story.So the story begins......... Once in Duel Acadamey there was a new Duel Student Yugi MotoFirst of all, it's obvious you didn't spell-check. Second, Yugi never WENT to Duel Academy. When they were created SPOILER he gave Jaden a Winged Kuriboh! this is just a pipe dream. Third, there's absolutely no punctuation, not even a period! Come on!so the Duel Acadamey decide for him to duel Other Members of Duel Acedamy Terrible grammar, no explanation, horrid capitalization, brave new world. Get me out.So First he Duels Zain UGH. You should know what's wrong with his sentence."Welcome to Duel Academy" said Zain"No punctuation" said me"Thanks, but its time to duel!" shouted YugiWUT!?!? They just say "Hi, let's duel" and begin?"DUEL" said both of them "First of all i'll play Dry Bones in attack mode" said ZainTerrible grammar and punctuation.Dry Bones has 200 Attack PointsWhat does he look like?"I end my Turn" Added ZainThis capitalization flat-out sucks."My move" said YugiSuckage."First of all i play the Spell Card Scientist Ritual so I tribute your Dry Bones to Summon Dr Neo Cortex in attack mode!!!!!!" yelled YugiYOU USED A CRASH BANDICOOT CHARACTER. OH MY GOSH, THIS IS GONNA SUCK."That pathetic thing OMG it has 0 Attack Points" said Zain, laughingPEOPLE IN THESE STORIES KNOW NOTHING ABOUT YU-GI-"HO". THE WEAKEST CARDS HAVE THE MOST PWNSOME EFFECTS. DOY."Oh yeah!" Said Yugi, The way he says it sounds like "Oh yeah! You're right! I regret my summon!" I sacrifice Him He sacrifices God? to play Super Orangutan What? and i attack you directly" He added.Total suckage.So Zain's Life Points were reduced from 4000 to 2100How did you mess up how Life Points are lowered? Is this story really THAT BAD?"Ohhhh damn you!!!", Zain yelled "Now its my move and i play Toon Alligator in Attack Mode but i Equip the card Axe Of Despair to him so he gains 1000 Attack Points, and I end my Turn" Zain addedToon Alligator? *laughs* ZANE really sucks in this paranpoid alternate universe. He cusses at others while playing children's card games?So Toon Alligator's Attack Points increased from 800 to 1800"I thought you never would so i play the Spell Card Rush Reckleslly and Super Orangutan gains 700 Attack Points taking him onto 2600 and I attack that Toon Alligator, and now I end my Turn" said Yugi.So Zain's Life Points were Reduced from 2100 to 900."I HATE YOU YUGI" yelled ZainThis sentence is just hilarious.Now i play Monster Reborn to Special Summon Toon Aligator back from the grave and i sacrifice him to play Cyber Dragon......"NOT SO FAST" yelled Yugi "I PLAY THE TRAP Trap Hole and Cyber Dragon gets destroyed" he addedIt's so atrocious it's funny. i don't even have to stick a joke in about that. It's just that bad."YUGI I'M GONNA KILL YOU, BECAUSE I NOW HAVE TO END MY TURN!!!!!!"*hyena laughter*"Okay, my move, first of all i'll finish you off by attacking you directly, Super Orangutan attack him directly!!!!KABOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!FUNNY FOR ALL THE WRONG REASONS.So Zain's Life Points were reduced from 900 to 0"I WIN" yelled Yugi The End of chapter 1!The rest coming soon! The next Duel will be Yugi VS BastionA FireBoy123 productionThis is a fanboy's dream. Yugi goes to Duel Academy and duels with orangutans, ZANE uses Toon Alligator and takes duels too seriously, he wins every single duel. Except maybe against Jaden. Yu-Gi-HO? You may be right about that. Because this plot is just ridiculous in the worst way. It's an utter failure. Research some other fiction around here and DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT. Lastly, please, PLEASE learn how to spell YU-GI-OH. Kendo Fish, out. *teleports* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
$ûþ®èmè Kì�§ Posted July 24, 2009 Author Report Share Posted July 24, 2009 Dr Neo Cortex sucks power ya no Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuckoos Posted July 24, 2009 Report Share Posted July 24, 2009 This story is flat out horrible. Yugi? At Duel Academy? He's like, 20, when GX starts. Punctuation is uber horrible. You know Super Orangutang? He could probably write a better story than this. Seriously improve on your story writing, because this won't get very far.Dr Neo Cortex sucks power ya no Spam. Epic spam. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kendo Fish Posted July 24, 2009 Report Share Posted July 24, 2009 Dr Neo Cortex sucks power ya noThat's taking it like a noob and not improving OR defending your story. You failed. This hardly has anything to do with anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.:Incognito:. Posted July 29, 2009 Report Share Posted July 29, 2009 Yu-Gi-Ho? That sounds inappropriate. I smell comedy gold. Prepare for wa WEATHER REPORT.Hi i'm FireBoy 123 and i've made a Yu-Gi-Ho Story about a Duellist Tornament But first the characters in the Chapters are:Jaden' date=' Chaz, Yugi, Syrus, Bastion and ZainBad spelling and worse grammar dashes any hope I had for this story.So the story begins......... Once in Duel Acadamey there was a new Duel Student Yugi MotoFirst of all, it's obvious you didn't spell-check. Second, Yugi never WENT to Duel Academy. When they were created SPOILER he gave Jaden a Winged Kuriboh! this is just a pipe dream. Third, there's absolutely no punctuation, not even a period! Come on!so the Duel Acadamey decide for him to duel Other Members of Duel Acedamy Terrible grammar, no explanation, horrid capitalization, brave new world. Get me out.So First he Duels Zain UGH. You should know what's wrong with his sentence."Welcome to Duel Academy" said Zain"No punctuation" said me"Thanks, but its time to duel!" shouted YugiWUT!?!? They just say "Hi, let's duel" and begin?"DUEL" said both of them "First of all i'll play Dry Bones in attack mode" said ZainTerrible grammar and punctuation.Dry Bones has 200 Attack PointsWhat does he look like?"I end my Turn" Added ZainThis capitalization flat-out sucks."My move" said YugiSuckage."First of all i play the Spell Card Scientist Ritual so I tribute your Dry Bones to Summon Dr Neo Cortex in attack mode!!!!!!" yelled YugiYOU USED A CRASH BANDICOOT CHARACTER. OH MY GOSH, THIS IS GONNA SUCK."That pathetic thing OMG it has 0 Attack Points" said Zain, laughingPEOPLE IN THESE STORIES KNOW NOTHING ABOUT YU-GI-"HO". THE WEAKEST CARDS HAVE THE MOST PWNSOME EFFECTS. DOY."Oh yeah!" Said Yugi, The way he says it sounds like "Oh yeah! You're right! I regret my summon!" I sacrifice Him He sacrifices God? to play Super Orangutan What? and i attack you directly" He added.Total suckage.So Zain's Life Points were reduced from 4000 to 2100How did you mess up how Life Points are lowered? Is this story really THAT BAD?"Ohhhh damn you!!!", Zain yelled "Now its my move and i play Toon Alligator in Attack Mode but i Equip the card Axe Of Despair to him so he gains 1000 Attack Points, and I end my Turn" Zain addedToon Alligator? *laughs* ZANE really sucks in this paranpoid alternate universe. He cusses at others while playing children's card games?So Toon Alligator's Attack Points increased from 800 to 1800"I thought you never would so i play the Spell Card Rush Reckleslly and Super Orangutan gains 700 Attack Points taking him onto 2600 and I attack that Toon Alligator, and now I end my Turn" said Yugi.So Zain's Life Points were Reduced from 2100 to 900."I HATE YOU YUGI" yelled ZainThis sentence is just hilarious.Now i play Monster Reborn to Special Summon Toon Aligator back from the grave and i sacrifice him to play Cyber Dragon......"NOT SO FAST" yelled Yugi "I PLAY THE TRAP Trap Hole and Cyber Dragon gets destroyed" he addedIt's so atrocious it's funny. i don't even have to stick a joke in about that. It's just that bad."YUGI I'M GONNA KILL YOU, BECAUSE I NOW HAVE TO END MY TURN!!!!!!"*hyena laughter*"Okay, my move, first of all i'll finish you off by attacking you directly, Super Orangutan attack him directly!!!!KABOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!FUNNY FOR ALL THE WRONG REASONS.So Zain's Life Points were reduced from 900 to 0"I WIN" yelled Yugi The End of chapter 1!The rest coming soon! The next Duel will be Yugi VS BastionA FireBoy123 productionThis is a fanboy's dream. Yugi goes to Duel Academy and duels with orangutans, ZANE uses Toon Alligator and takes duels too seriously, he wins every single duel. Except maybe against Jaden. Yu-Gi-HO? You may be right about that. Because this plot is just ridiculous in the worst way. It's an utter failure. Research some other fiction around here and DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT. Lastly, please, PLEASE learn how to spell YU-GI-OH. Kendo Fish, out. *teleports* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aesirson Posted July 31, 2009 Report Share Posted July 31, 2009 I laughed through all of this, especially on the fact that ZANE doesn't know that his favorite card can be Special Summoned while your opponent controls a monster and you control none. Also, Super Orangutan is just stupid, so is using Pop Culture Cards in a fan-fic, that is just wrong. And since when did Yugi start using a sucky deck and Zane using an even suckier? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaisu Posted July 31, 2009 Report Share Posted July 31, 2009 LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL*GASP*This thing suuuuuuuuuuuucks.Maybe that's why it's called 'Yu-Gi-Ho'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rucario Posted July 31, 2009 Report Share Posted July 31, 2009 I think he called it Yu-Gi-Ho on purpose because this is an alternative Universe where everything is different and Adults go to school. It's that alternative, that different. So funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thewho Posted August 3, 2009 Report Share Posted August 3, 2009 perfect example on how not to write a fan-fic. "YUGI I'M GONNA KILL YOU, BECAUSE I NOW HAVE TO END MY TURN!!!!!!" .... WTF was that? seriously that's f***ing hilarious! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
$ûþ®èmè Kì�§ Posted August 5, 2009 Author Report Share Posted August 5, 2009 Can someone lock this? SO I DON'T GET MORE INSULTS! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaisu Posted August 6, 2009 Report Share Posted August 6, 2009 Dude...Read the Rules.Its under the 'Jack Witt' clause.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Greatness Posted August 6, 2009 Report Share Posted August 6, 2009 Guys we all know it sucks, but why does everyone need to repeat what was stated in the weather report? Stop posting insults and spamming this fanfic, if it's not good, don't write, it won't go noticed. If you want to write something, write something helpful, this is about helping noobs and reading something nice. You guys are probably going to reply something to this message, well if you do, then I just have one thing to say, "Wow". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaisu Posted August 6, 2009 Report Share Posted August 6, 2009 Dude...Read the Rules.Its under the 'Jack Witt' clause.... Have you even read this????Or the post mentioned in the above post??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatPhantomGuy Posted August 6, 2009 Report Share Posted August 6, 2009 *AHEM*This was indeed, without a shadow of a doubt "Yu-Gi-Ho". This is now my favorite fan fic, I could read it all day with enjoyment. Thank you for such wonderful work. "YUGI I'M GONNA KILL YOU, BECAUSE I NOW HAVE TO END MY TURN!!!!!!" KABOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!! 2 epic lines. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
$ûþ®èmè Kì�§ Posted August 6, 2009 Author Report Share Posted August 6, 2009 JUST SOMEONE LOCK THIS PLEEEEEEEASE!!!! AND STOP INSULTING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatPhantomGuy Posted August 6, 2009 Report Share Posted August 6, 2009 I didn't insult you and 'JACK WITT' CLAUSE. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
$ûþ®èmè Kì�§ Posted August 6, 2009 Author Report Share Posted August 6, 2009 oh never mind someone lock this please! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aethercide Posted August 6, 2009 Report Share Posted August 6, 2009 I wonder what would happen if Crab Helmet read this... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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