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Jokes & Riddles


daxinator

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Yo momma so old when she farts dust comes out of her booty.

 

Yo momma is so fat that when she enters contests the judges always say"sorry no professionals".

 

Yo momma is so old that she had 16th prez. in third grade.

 

Yo momma is so old she was right next to Jesus on the yearbook.

 

Yo momma is so nasty and fat that when she does the splitz there's pee stains on her sweats

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yo mama is so fat,when she sat on a Nintendo Gamecube and it turned into a gameboy

 

yo mama is so fat,she makes Kiko the Whale look like a Smartie

 

yo mama is so fat, NASA plans to use her to cover up the hole in the Ozone layer

 

yo mama is so fat, when I tell her to haul ass, she gotta make two trips.

 

yo mama is so fat, when she farted she launched herself into orbit.

 

yo mama is so fat, she lost a game at Hide&Seek only cause I spotted her...behind Mount Everest.

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funny

 

mine are funnyier.

 

Yo mama so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up

 

Yo mama so fat her nickname is "Lardo"

 

Yo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.

 

Yo mama so fat were in her right now

 

Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise

 

Yo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone

 

Yo mama so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors

 

Yo mamma so fat you haveta roll over twice to get off her...

 

Yo mama so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for then new world

 

Yo mama so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy

 

Yo mama so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!

 

Yo mama so fat when she has wants someone to shake her hand, she has to give directions!

 

Yo mama so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"

 

Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"

 

Yo mama so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized

 

Yo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway

 

Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller

 

Yo mama so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets

 

Yo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th

 

Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too

 

Yo mama so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"

 

Yo mama so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!

 

Yo mama so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"

 

Yo mama so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.

 

Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.

 

Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.

 

Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock.

 

Yo mama so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!

 

Yo mama so fat she's got her own area code!

 

Yo mama so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!

 

Yo mama so fat God couldn't light Earth until she moved!

 

Yo mama so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!

 

Yo mama so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!

 

Yo mama so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago...

 

Yo mama so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg.

 

Yo mama so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!

 

Yo mama so fat her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky!

 

Yo mama so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the her good side!

 

Yo mama so fat she wakes up in sections!

 

Yo mama so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!

 

Yo mama so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of george washington's nose.

 

Yo mama so fat she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar!

 

Yo mama so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!

 

Yo mama so fat when she bunje jumps she goes straight to hell!

 

Yo mama so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!

 

Yo mama so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!

 

Yo mama so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views!

 

Yo mama so fat she's on both sides of the family!

 

Yo mama so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!

 

Yo mama so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!

 

Yo mama so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!

 

Yo mama so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!

 

Yo mama so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand!

 

Yo mama so fat she has to use a VCR as a beeper!

 

Yo mama so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!

 

Yo mama so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she's wearin tights!

 

Yo mama so fat she got hit by a parked car!

 

Yo mama so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!

 

Yo mama so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans!

 

Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.

 

Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat people say "Taxi!"

 

Yo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway!

 

Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller!

 

Yo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave she landed on 12th

 

Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps she pulls down the bridge too

 

Yo mama so fat she steps on a scale & it goes one at a time please

 

Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it!

 

Yo mama so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck!

 

Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.

 

Yo mama so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.

 

Yo mama so fat they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping

 

Yo mama so fat when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground.

 

Yo mama so fat when she back up she beep.

 

Yo mama so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.

 

Yo mama so fat she has to buy two airline tickets.

 

Yo mama so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.

 

Yo mama so fat she influences the tides.

 

Yo mama so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.

 

Yo mama so fat she broke her leg and gravy fell out.

 

Yo mama so fat the animals at the zoo feed her.

 

Yo mama so fat she was baptized at Marine World.

 

Yo mama so fat she's on both sides of the family!

 

Yo mama so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.

 

Yo mama so fat the Aids quilt wouldn't cover her

 

Yo mama so fat she stands in two time zones.

 

Yo mama so fat I tried to drive around her and I ran out of gas.

 

Yo mama so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops.

 

Yo mama so fat shes on both sides of the family

 

Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through

 

Yo mama so fat when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.

 

Yo mama so fat that she cant tie her own shoes.

 

Yo mama so fat sets off car alarms when she runs.

 

Yo mama so fat she cant reach her back pocket.

 

Yo mama so fat when she wears one of those X jackets, helicopters try to land on her back!

 

Yo mama so fat her college graduation picture was an airial.

 

Yo mama so fat she lays on the beach and greenpeace tried to push her back in the water

 

Yo mama so fat she broke her leg and gravy poured out

 

Yo mama so fat she uses redwoods to pick her teeth

 

Yo mama so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures

 

Yo mama so fat she jumped in the air and got stuck.

 

Yo mama so fat she put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard.

 

Yo mama so fat she sat on a dollar and squeezed a booger out George Washington's nose.

 

Yo mama so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.

 

Yo mama so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon.

 

Yo mama so fat that when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and tries to tow her back into the ocean.....

 

Yo mama so fat that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, she caused an eclipse.

 

Yo mama so fat she hoola-hooped the super bowl.

 

Yo mama so fat she was baptised in the ocean.

 

Yo mama so fat she has to iron her clothes in the driveway.

 

Yo mama so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.

 

Yo mama so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"

 

Yo mama so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow!

 

Yo mama so fat that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.

 

Yo mama so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet.

 

G2G

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some of my funny cme backs

 

Sure, I've seen people like you before - but I had to pay an admission...

 

Shouldn't you have a license for being that ugly?

 

Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.

 

You should learn from your parents mistakes - try using some birth control.

 

You got a face only a mother could love...unfortunately she too hates it!

 

Why don't you slip into something more comfortable...like a coma.

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funny

 

mine are funnyier.

 

Yo mama so fat when her beeper goes off' date=' people thought she was backing up

 

Yo mama so fat her nickname is "Lardo"

 

Yo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.

 

Yo mama so fat were in her right now

 

Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise

 

Yo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone

 

Yo mama so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors

 

Yo mamma so fat you haveta roll over twice to get off her...

 

Yo mama so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for then new world

 

Yo mama so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy

 

Yo mama so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!

 

Yo mama so fat when she has wants someone to shake her hand, she has to give directions!

 

Yo mama so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"

 

Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"

 

Yo mama so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized

 

Yo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway

 

Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller

 

Yo mama so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets

 

Yo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th

 

Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too

 

Yo mama so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"

 

Yo mama so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!

 

Yo mama so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"

 

Yo mama so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.

 

Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.

 

Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.

 

Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock.

 

Yo mama so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!

 

Yo mama so fat she's got her own area code!

 

Yo mama so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!

 

Yo mama so fat God couldn't light Earth until she moved!

 

Yo mama so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!

 

Yo mama so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!

 

Yo mama so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago...

 

Yo mama so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg.

 

Yo mama so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!

 

Yo mama so fat her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky!

 

Yo mama so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the her good side!

 

Yo mama so fat she wakes up in sections!

 

Yo mama so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!

 

Yo mama so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of george washington's nose.

 

Yo mama so fat she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar!

 

Yo mama so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!

 

Yo mama so fat when she bunje jumps she goes straight to hell!

 

Yo mama so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!

 

Yo mama so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!

 

Yo mama so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views!

 

Yo mama so fat she's on both sides of the family!

 

Yo mama so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!

 

Yo mama so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!

 

Yo mama so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!

 

Yo mama so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!

 

Yo mama so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand!

 

Yo mama so fat she has to use a VCR as a beeper!

 

Yo mama so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!

 

Yo mama so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she's wearin tights!

 

Yo mama so fat she got hit by a parked car!

 

Yo mama so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!

 

Yo mama so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans!

 

Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.

 

Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat people say "Taxi!"

 

Yo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway!

 

Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller!

 

Yo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave she landed on 12th

 

Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps she pulls down the bridge too

 

Yo mama so fat she steps on a scale & it goes one at a time please

 

Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it!

 

Yo mama so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck!

 

Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.

 

Yo mama so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.

 

Yo mama so fat they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping

 

Yo mama so fat when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground.

 

Yo mama so fat when she back up she beep.

 

Yo mama so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.

 

Yo mama so fat she has to buy two airline tickets.

 

Yo mama so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.

 

Yo mama so fat she influences the tides.

 

Yo mama so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.

 

Yo mama so fat she broke her leg and gravy fell out.

 

Yo mama so fat the animals at the zoo feed her.

 

Yo mama so fat she was baptized at Marine World.

 

Yo mama so fat she's on both sides of the family!

 

Yo mama so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.

 

Yo mama so fat the Aids quilt wouldn't cover her

 

Yo mama so fat she stands in two time zones.

 

Yo mama so fat I tried to drive around her and I ran out of gas.

 

Yo mama so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops.

 

Yo mama so fat shes on both sides of the family

 

Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through

 

Yo mama so fat when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.

 

Yo mama so fat that she cant tie her own shoes.

 

Yo mama so fat sets off car alarms when she runs.

 

Yo mama so fat she cant reach her back pocket.

 

Yo mama so fat when she wears one of those X jackets, helicopters try to land on her back!

 

Yo mama so fat her college graduation picture was an airial.

 

Yo mama so fat she lays on the beach and greenpeace tried to push her back in the water

 

Yo mama so fat she broke her leg and gravy poured out

 

Yo mama so fat she uses redwoods to pick her teeth

 

Yo mama so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures

 

Yo mama so fat she jumped in the air and got stuck.

 

Yo mama so fat she put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard.

 

Yo mama so fat she sat on a dollar and squeezed a booger out George Washington's nose.

 

Yo mama so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.

 

Yo mama so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon.

 

Yo mama so fat that when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and tries to tow her back into the ocean.....

 

Yo mama so fat that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, she caused an eclipse.

 

Yo mama so fat she hoola-hooped the super bowl.

 

Yo mama so fat she was baptised in the ocean.

 

Yo mama so fat she has to iron her clothes in the driveway.

 

Yo mama so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.

 

Yo mama so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"

 

Yo mama so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow!

 

Yo mama so fat that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.

 

Yo mama so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet.

 

G2G

[/quote']

 

What now! http://www.ahajokes.com/ym01.html (its my website)

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