- Legacy of the Tormentor - | - Latest Chapter(4) - | - Latest Preview(8) -

[Umbra]

 

[spoiler=Latest Previews: Chapter Eight | Cry Havoc]

 

Chapter Five: The Marked Ones

As Susannah stumbles, Jonah and Flora takes a stroll through the city - only to find Jonah's former opponent, locked in a fight for his own life. From the shadows, a threat none of them had considered emerges. Jonah learns of his ancestor's past and the fall of the Tormentor's Palace.

 

Chapter Six: Saligia! Riding Duelist

After her duel at Industrial Illusions, Susannah realizes that Jonah is missing. The café is empty, save for a little girl playing outside. Then, she meets the renowned Angel of Judgment - a participant in the Fortune Cup and ex-national champion - who claims to know where Jonah is.

 

Chapter Seven: Primordial Essence

Jonah's opponent unleashes it's true force as it combines with the monster it summoned. Susannah tries to come to the rescue, but Saligia is a tough opponent and the duel is different from anything before.

 

Chapter Eight: Cry Havoc

The dogs of war have been released.

 

 

 

[spoiler=Prologue: The Heavens and the Earth]

[align=justify]

Long ago, before the time of the mortals, in the first few moments of existence, only one thing existed - the Primal Mind. We can only begin to grasp the vast power of this being, this ruler of everything that would exist. It created the world as we know it today, the planets of the many solar systems far around the many universes that have been found - it can all be traced back to the Primal Mind.

 

At some point in time, the Primal Mind encountered something it had never seen before, and certainly had not created; a pillar of black stone, inscribed with the mark of an eight-legged insect. As the Primal Mind touched the magnificent rock, it was infected. Much like a tree will eventually wither and die, every creation has it's flaw - even creation itself. This pillar was one such flaw - a misconstruction, an alignment of particles that was not meant to be. Our oldest texts, dating back from the Pantheon's Age, names this pillar as “the Antithesis of Mind” or simply “Antithesis” - the polar opposite of the Primal Mind.

 

As time passed, life flourished in many of the universes that now existed. There was no question that creation was successful. Except for Antithesis, of course. One day came the event that would be known as the Shattering Unity to those who know it's true nature; the Ascension to everyone else. The Primal Mind was overtaken by the Antithesis inside it's system, and the struggle between the two was long and destructive. In the end, the Primal Mind emerged successful - but with a price. The God's mind was torn in half during the battle, each being part God and part Antithesis. The benign half, which only partially contained the Antithesis, became the Multiverse's new ruler - Obelisk, the Tormentor. His opposite, which consisted of almost pure Antithesis and in which next to no amounts of the Primal Mind were contained, fled to the darkest depths of the Multiverse - the Pillar of Antithesis, where it once was formed, and the world it lived in. From this pillar, it forged a dark tower, a building so great and intimidating that for many millenniums to come, it would stand deserted. This dark god, this enemy of all creation, only carried one name; the Dreadroot. The origin of destruction itself.

 

This event, the division of one god into two, caused the greatest disaster in the history of the Multiverse. A black hole, so immense that entire worlds were swallowed in them was formed, billions of billions of innocents sweeping into it before anyone had the time to react. In the end, when the black hole ceased, the Multiverse benefited from it. From the epicenter of the hole, four orbs of energy shot out; The eggs of four magnificent dragons that would shape the Multiverse around them. Two of the eggs came to the Tormentor's Palace, and he named them Osiris and Ra. In time, the two dragons earned worshipers of their own, and the three deities became known as the Pantheon of Light.

The others were sent to the Dreadroot, who gave them no names. Instead, he instantly released one of the dragons from it's egg, bringing forth a mighty destructive beast. This, he gave the title of Eraser. As he looked at the second egg, he decided not to release it, but instead shield it from ever being hatched; the sleeping mind within it had the potential to overthrow them all. This egg became known as the Avatar. The Dreadroot's rule was established in the Wicked Tower's realm, where not even the bravest of the Tormentor's knights would venture.

 

In everything else, the Tormentor flourished. He ruled the Multiverse with a soft hand and a closed fist, disposing of those that needed such treatment. Meanwhile, the Dreadroot gathered his forces, as his servants - the Dread Cult - gathered around the Wicked Tower. Soon, he was ready. After gathering hundreds of thousands from many of the Tormentor's realms and infusing them with the Antithesis' power, he unleashed them upon the Palace of the Tormentor. Even though surprised by the attack, the Tormentor's soldiers fought well, but were succumbed by the very mass of the Dreadroot's army. The Tormentor himself fell to the hands of the Dreadroot, but not all was lost.

 

You see, the Tormentor was very “active”. He had many children, both legitimate and not, who managed to escape the Palace while their god and father held the lines with the two Legendary Dragons at his side. As everything they had once called home fell apart around them, the Tormentor's heirs fled their world and entered a new. They crashed down on the surface of an aspiring planet, with great oceans and lush rainforests, accidentally obliterating all land-living creatures. Life would regrow, much thanks to the influence of the Tormentor's heirs, and prosper. The new inhabitants were much more civilized in nature, and soon their blood would be mixed with that of the god's descendants, and their children would grow to become individuals we all know from history; Alexander the Great, Genghis Khan, George Washington, Julius Caesar, Hernán Cortés, and many more. The planet would eventually be known as Earth.

 

Today, everything is about to change. June 30th, Red Sky City. Somewhere on the American east coast. The pieces are set, and the Game can begin.

~ Ringan, Elemental Sage[/align]

 

 

[spoiler= -Chapter One- | -The Awakening- ]

Jonah locked eyes with his opponent, a boy about his own age. Their duel had almost come to a closure in his favor; his opponent only had three hundred Life Points left, while he remained unscathed. He placed a card face-down, and nodded at the boy.

“Your turn.”

He could see that the guy was stressed. He was sweating, and looked from side to side all the time. Nothing had worked his way, not once in the entire duel, while Jonah had set up his traps and unleashing his perfect strategies. Luck of the draw, one might say. Bad choice of deck construction, others would call it. To him, it came down to one thing. You either succeeded, or failed. And the kid was failing, big time.

 

He drew a card, and everything changed. His face gradually lit up as he looked from the card he just drew to the other cards in his hand, and he smiled. Jonah was struck by a pang of worry. Could the kid actually turn this duel around? He had no monsters out, and only a single face-down card. Jonah, on the other hand, had summoned his trump card. Destiny End Dragoon. Even if the kid managed to destroy it, he could just revive it next turn. Of course, he still had the face-down card. The kid's smile widened as he placed a single card on the field.

“I activate Dark Vigilance. I can send a DARK monster in my hand to the Graveyard to draw one card.” Jonah frowned. Was that it? No, there must be more. That's just set-up. Suddenly, he realized something. He quickly tapped his Duel Disk, revealing all cards in his opponent's Graveyard. The final piece to the puzzle was there. Dark Vigilance had placed it there. Four DARK monsters, two of them being...

“Then, I activate the effect of the Dark Goddess Saturn I just sent to the Graveyard! By removing three DARK monsters in my Graveyard from play, I can summon it!” [2800|2500]

 

The MC could not believe his eyes.

“It looks like this tournament final is heating up! Fifth-seeded Jonah Morae is having a harder time with the newcomer than we would've thought! Dark Goddess Saturn is one of the six Black Planet cards, a one-of-a-kind rarity! This is fantastic!”

 

The boy continued. “You worried, Jonah? Well, it's about to get worse. I activate the effect of the Dark Goddess Jupiter that was removed from play! Say good bye to your End Dragoon!” The crowd staggered backwards as Jonah's monster was covered in a cloud of darkness, from which a woman in dark robes stepped forth. [1800|1500] Jonah looked at his opponent's monsters, two almost identical women with similar clothing - but with one crucial difference. Jupiter's face was calm and serene, almost carrying that motherly and protective look. Saturn's face was that of a madman. Eyes wide open in a terrifying stare, head slightly tilted to the side, and the long white hair being dirty and ragged. Opposites of one another. “It's time to end this, Jonah. Dark Goddess Saturn, direct attack! Darklit Beam!”

 

“Is it over?” The MC looked at his assistant, who shrugged. The square had been covered in the brilliant light from Saturn's attack, but the crowd was roaring with excitement. A winner had obviously been declared. He tried to look at the scoreboard, but the flashing lights still covered his eyes. To him, it was obvious. The unseeded newcomer had summoned two - not one, two - of the Black Planet Goddesses, cards so unique they were only mentioned briefly in the Industrial Illusions guidebook. Jupiter would boost Saturn with it's own attack power, making it sky-rocket into forty-six hundred attack points - more than enough to take Jonah Morae down in one hit. A one-turn kill and a complete turn-around in the heat finals. The duelists would be crazy for months, and this guy would raise in the ranks. He'd probably be third-seed next year.

 

Jonah smiled.

“Thanks for attacking with your heavy hitter first. Trap Card, open! Attack Guidance Armor!”

As he spoke, a silver-clad armor suit appeared around Jupiter, holding it tight. The mad-looking witch turned it's gaze to the fellow goddess, and it's eyes lit up. “It forces your Saturn to attack a monster of my choice. And since I'm running out of options, your Jupiter will take the pain. Good game.”

The boy gasped as Saturn turned to face Jupiter. A red light emanated from it's fingertips, which shot out at the serene goddess. Jupiter screamed in pain as it shattered and fell to the ground as a shower of light. [Life Points: 300 -> 0]

 

The crowd was roaring. Fifth-seeded, local champion and crowd favorite Jonah Morae had won. He walked over to his defeated opponent, who had fallen to his knees.

“Come on, get up.” The boy looked at him, a dull stare that troubled his former opponent. “What's your name, duelist?” The boy pondered Jonah's question for a few seconds, his eyes flickering.

“Isaac. Isaac Marden.”

Jonah put an arm around Isaac's shoulder, and helped him to his feet.

“You were great, Isaac. Those Black Planet cards... I've only heard of them in rumors and whispers. Where did you get them? How did you get them?”

Isaac didn't answer. The MC, apparently shaken from the duel, walked up to them.

“Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner! Jonah Morae will move on to the final round on June 6th, where he will face the winners of previous heats and the forthcoming. He will also fight for the grand prize of fifty thousand dollars. Jonah, come with me.”

Leaving Isaac behind, Jonah followed the MC to an Industrial Illusions van parked nearby.

 

He turned to Jonah. “As you're well aware of, Jonah, there are no official arenas in the city, and only a minor office.” Jonah nodded; his mother worked at that particular office. “Since we don't have a flashy place to give you the prize, you'll have to do with this.” He turned to the van, and snapped his fingers. “Mister Crawford, if you don't mind?” Jonah couldn't believe what he just heard. Crawford? That could only be... He wasn't disappointed. As the van's door opened up, a tall man with gray, shoulder-long hair standing out in two long strands above his temples. Jacob P. Crawford, CEO of Industrial Illusions and son of Pegasus Crawford, was looking at him. Jonah felt his heart tingle. This man was legendary. He smiled at Jonah. “Well, I see my hunch was correct. I've been keeping my eyes on you, Jonah, ever since you first participated in the tournament six months ago. And as the winner of the sixth heat, I'm sure you'll appreciate this.” From his back pocket, he revealed a packet of booster packs - four of them, in fact. “This pack will be released in about six months or so. Use the cards well.”

 

Oh my God... Jonah still couldn't believe it as he was on his way home. He had opened the four packs only a few minutes after his meeting with Mister Crawford, and it seemed almost like they were made for him. Destiny Heroes, DARK support, deck cycling... everything was perfect. The sun was setting, and one by one the street lamps were lit. Red Sky City by the evening wasn't exactly the friendliest place on Earth, how small the town may be. There had even been a murder on the streets about a year ago. He still remembered the press coverage and All of a sudden, he felt a tremendous headache - it was as if his skull was being torn apart by a lightning bolt. He closed his eyes, and fell to his knees. The cards fell out of his pockets and spread over the pavement, one in particular glowing dark blue. A completely blank card, no image, no effect, no nothing. White surface, and the wicked blue light.

 

“Jonah... Jonah...”

The voice was everywhere and nowhere. He tried to open his eyes, but could not. Or maybe he could - maybe there was no difference any more. Maybe he was blind. That would explain the darkness. No, he wasn't blind. He could see his arm, his legs and even the tip of his nose. So his eyes were open. Good.

“Jonah, listen.” Now, the voice was directly in front of him. There seemed to be a shimmering blue light ahead, something different than the surrounding darkness. That was probably the speaker. Probably. He nodded.

“I listen, spirit.” It had only occurred to him as he spoke that the light was a spirit - it made sense, somehow. From the blue light, a glistening white square appeared. It hovered in mid-air before him.

“This card will help you, Jonah, in the many battles that will come. It will allow you to talk with me whenever you need to, and I'll be able to reach you. It will be our only connection.” The moment Jonah touched the card, the surface of it changed. Two images - his own face, and that of a knight in crimson armor - appeared and disappeared simultaneously, floated between existence and nonexistence. The blue light glittered.

“I see that I was not mistaken, Heir. My name is Khennan, great-grandson of the Tormentor. May we meet again, Jonah.”

The blue light emitted a pulse - and all was gone.

 

[spoiler=New characters]

 

Jonah Morae

Gender: Male

Age: 16

Deck: Destiny End

Trump Card: Destiny End Dragoon | Destiny End Archfiend

 

Isaac Marden

Gender: Male

Age: 15

Deck: Black Planet

Trump Card: Dark Goddess Saturn

 

The Master of Ceremonies (MC)

Gender: Male

Age: 31

Deck: Black Feather

Trump Card: Black Feather - Night Wing Condor

 

Jacob P. Crawford

Gender: Male

Age: 42

Deck: Seraphim Sanctuary

Trump Card: Blessed Seraphim

 

 

 

 

 

[spoiler=-Chapter Two- | -Eternal Dread-]

The young man looked just like any other. A long-sleeved white shirt and black trousers. Short fair hair, skin maybe a bit paler than usual. Not that anyone would notice it on first sight, but it was there. The Blue Lily café was usually deserted during the day, just a few teenagers with too much time and not enough to do. In other words, the perfect meeting place. The boy got seated next to the almost-pale man. He nodded.

“You got anything on him, Isaac? Know what our little champion did after the duel?”

Isaac nodded.

“I talked to the Master of Ceremonies as soon as I got to him. I had to threaten him a bit, but in the end he told me what I needed to know.”

The man smiled.

“You didn't kill him, did you? It would be very inconvenient for us with a murder right now.” Isaac shook his head.

“He'll be fine in a few days. Anyway, the news. Crawford's in town. He met Jonah right after the duel had finished.” It was Isaac's turn to smile.

“Don't you think it's a bit inconvenient for the president of Industrial Illusions to come all the way to America just for a tournament, even though it's one of his own? And not even for the finals itself, just a heat.”

The waitress, a black woman in her twenties with curly dark hair and glistening white teeth, came with their drinks. Coffee for the young man, and iced tea for Isaac. The man took a sip.

“You think he came here for the kid? Doesn't seem too likely if you ask me.” Isaac nodded.

“Don't be so sure about that, Alex. If my predictions are right, Jonah Morae will be very interesting.”

 

Everything was blue. It was beautiful, in a way. The dancing lights before his eyes were blue. The sky outside the window was blue, with streaks of white clouds here and there. Even the walls of his room were blue. They'd been repainted last year, when the paint had started to come off in places. Jonah Morae had never tried drugs, but he could imagine it would be like this. Euphoria. Heaven.

“Jonah? There's someone here to see you.”

Suddenly, his mother was at the door. He hadn't even noticed her until now. He nodded, and jumped out of bed. He realized he was wearing the same clothes as yesterday - usually not a big problem, but he didn't recall putting them on. Now that he thought about it, he couldn't remember anything after the blue light had appeared and something had talked to him. All of this ran through his mind in the few moments he dashed past his mother, down the stairs, and turned his head to the door.

 

Shuffle

 

Khennan turned to him, as only an apparition of blue light could. “Ever since we first arrived at your planet, a war has occurred. In many cases, it has only involved small amounts of people and even fewer deaths. The war between us and the Dreadroot's servants. They are the ones that overthrew my great-grandfather many millenniums ago, and in effect sent us to this world.” He nodded at Jonah. “You are not the only one of our kind, Jonah, but you are special. You are a direct heir of my bloodline, and therefore an heir to the Tormentor himself. Our ancestor, my grandfather Aighennan, was the oldest son of the Tormentor and would be the one to take his throne.”

Jonah nodded.

“Hold on, Khennan. Who exactly is this 'Tormentor' you speak of? Is he some sort of king, or emperor?”

Khennan shook his head, and Jonah could see the sorrow in his eyes.

“Obelisk, the Tormentor, is our God and the creator of all things living. He died at the hands of his brother, Dreadroot the Betrayer, who overthrew him and destroyed the Palace.

 

Shuffle

 

Jonah almost tripped. What was that? A vision? No, a memory. Not everything from the night before seemed to be back quite yet. He turned his head, and thought that he recognized the girl in the doorway. A bit shorter than him, but probably not younger. Long, perfectly straight dark hair, and a pair of glasses. Her eyes were so blue that they almost seemed purple in the morning sun. A black blouse and jeans accompanied her look, and made it even more brilliant. She was very beautiful, Jonah thought. As soon as their eyes met, she smiled.

“Jonah Morae?” Jonah was too astounded by her to even speak. The words just stuck in his throat, like foam or plastic, and all he managed was a nod. Even her teeth were perfect.

“I could tell you were, but still. You look just like Eric, you know.” He nodded, and walked down the final few steps and into the lobby until he stood head to head with the girl. Even though they were three years apart, Jonah was often mistaken for his brother. Of course, Eric was taller, but their faces were near identical. Their mother used to joke about how she only had to keep one picture in her wallet - would save some money, you know. “Yeah, I get that a lot.” He managed to smile, for once. God, what was this girl doing to him? She shrugged.

“I'm a friend of Eric's. Susannah Marden.”

Of course! Photos! Eric's class pictures, that's where he'd seen her. Even so, it'd been what?... Two years since he'd looked at them. The girl had never been this breathtaking in any of those. As she looked at him, Jonah realized something. Marden.

“You're Isaac's sister, aren't you?” She nodded, looking a bit... Surprised? Intimidated? Threatened? Jonah couldn't tell.

 

Shuffle

 

“You will also encounter our enemies, Jonah. Eventually, you will meet the Dreadroot's servants and fight them. Be assured that a fight against them is a fight for your own life. Should you meet one of the Primal Dragons

(Eraser Avatar)

they could kill you in the blink of an eye. The others are not nearly as powerful, but can still put up a serious fight. Beware of the Dreadroot's forces, who carry the spider mark.”

 

Shuffle

 

Jonah fell to the floor. The shock was much intenser than before. What had Khennan told him? There was so much that still had to be answered, so much he didn't remember. He had the feeling that Khennan had told him everything, but also kept it from him. Why, Khennan, why?

 

If Jonah had been in his room, he would have seen a particular card shining bright blue, lying on his desk.

 

“You alright?” He looked up. Susannah was staring at him, shocked. He nodded.

“Sure, just tripped on something.” As he climbed to his feet, he cursed Khennan for humiliating him in front of Susannah. She smiled.

“Didn't know you knew my brother, Jonah. Let me guess, you're in the Cup too.” He nodded, reluctantly. For all he knew, she could think the game was childish and pointless, like so many others he had met before. After all, her brother was probably younger than him; this would only make things worse. She just shrugged.

“Anyway, here's what I came for. Eric asked me to give you this. Said he couldn't trust the mail.” She took out an envelope, and gave it to Jonah. “Don't worry, I haven't peeked.” Jonah took the envelope, and put it aside. He'd save it for later.

WAITAMINUTE

“You didn't come all the way down to Red Sky City just to drop off a letter, did you? It's at least a few hours' drive from the big apple down here.” For a split second, Jonah thought she blushed. She shook it off.

“Actually, I was going to ask you... Where's the Industrial Illusions office? I was going to sign up for the tournament, but I couldn't find it.” She smiled. “Red Sky's kinda big for such a small town.”

 

Jonah was stunned. Not only did she play the game herself, she was actually going to sign up for the tournament?

“It's not too far away”, he managed to stumble. The words were sticking to his throat again. “I'll take you there.”

 

 

[spoiler=New characters]

 

“Alex”

Gender: Male

Age: 19

Deck: Jewel Dragon

Trump Card: Jewel Dragon - Royal Crown

 

Mia Morae

Gender: Female

Age: 44

Deck: Savior Wing

Trump Card: Hour of Salvation

 

Susannah Marden

Gender: Female

Age: 17

Deck: Reptiless

Trump Card: Reptiless Leviathan

 

 

 

 

[spoiler= - Chapter Three - | -Good Fortune-]

The heavy metal doors closed with a loud thump behind Jonah and Susannah as they entered the Industrial Illusions building. Jonah knew his way around, as he had spent many bored afternoons here, and led Susannah through the building. The entrance hall was the flashiest place, the size of a small villa and see-through walls. Beneath the floor, even that made of plastic, there was a stream of running water. Had cost the company a bloody fortune, his mother had told him, but it was worth it. Had impressed many delegates from the other offices over the years.

”Even the big boss himself”, she had said. “Not Crawford, of course, but Tenley.” Annette Tenley was the American CEO of Industrial Illusions, and she was the central mind behind what informally was known as Operation Restoration; reconstruct all of the regional offices in the country. In the end it payed off. Jonah smiled thinly as Susannah's eyes were fixed on the running water.

“Impressive, isn't it?”

Susannah turned on her feet and looked at him, and Jonah thought he saw a trace of worry in her eyes. Something's wrong was the first thought that popped up. Something's not like- Then, it was gone. Nothing about her suggested she was worried, she seemed as happy as ever. She nodded. “It's quite some thing you've got here, Jonah. Very... interesting.”

 

Other than the impressive floor, the entrance hall housed a reception where three or four people would cover the office's visitors twenty-four hours a day. On the far side of the room, there were two wooden doors that would lead to a nigh-endless row of cubicles, with the company's card designers, artists, accountants, and the occasional deliveryman, stumbling from one desk to another. Working for Industrial Illusions was not as funny as one would think, Jonah had realized quickly. One of the receptionists, a short man with black hair and tiny, circular glasses, came up to them. He was wearing a long white coat; almost like a lab coat, Jonah thought. He frowned as nodded at the two visitors.

“Maximilian Menou, Industrial Illusions. Can I help you with anything?” He spoke with a well-hidden French accent, so subtle that it was barely audible. Jonah had heard of this guy from his mother; an intolerable bastard, that Menou guy was. Naturally, they worked in different departments, but they met enough for a strong bond of hate to form between them. Susannah nodded at him.

“Mister Menou, I'd like to sign up for the Fortune Cup. I believe I have the necessary qualifications.” She handed him a badge Jonah recognized well; it was an official Starsign badge, given to those who placed in the top twelve at the nationals. His brother had a few on the walls in his old room. At first, Menou froze in surprise. Slowly, his right eyebrow raised seemingly on it's own accord. He shrugged.

“I'm sorry, miss..”, he looked at Susannah's badge again, “...Marden, but one does not simply sign into the Cup at this late stage. You'll have to finish a qualification round first.”

Susannah frowned, and Jonah stepped forward.

“What? I didn't have to do some qualification crap when I signed up! That's nonsense!” Menou eyed Jonah down.

“Keep silent, boy. People are trying to work here. And either way, I recognize you, young mister Morae. You didn't have to pass through the qualification round because you signed up before the tournament started and were accepted into the final eight.” He rolled his eyes at Jonah, who instantly felt what his mother had learned. Menou's horses were high, but he wasn't tall enough to sit on them.

“I'll have to send a strongly-worded letter to your mother about this, young mister Morae. As you should now, the tournament set-up for the final two heats are already arranged. Of course, arrangements can be changed.” He smiled.

“We have a special rule about late applications. You didn't happen to have your Duel Disk nearby, miss Marden?” Susannah nodded, and picked up the plastic bag she was carrying. Jonah hadn't got a chance to see her disk yet, and was very keen on doing so. As she revealed it, he barely heard Menou's surprised gasp - he was simply deafened by it's brilliance. A slim, white Duel Disk with golden trims, and red gemstones in-laid on the sides. It even sparkled in the dim fluorescent light of the industrial lamps in the ceiling above. It was the kind of disk you only saw on the Internet or heard about in rumours. I've seen one of them, I swear, there was someone down at the plaza who had one. and the like. As far as Jonah knew, only seven of these existed at all. A King's Hand Duel Disk. Susannah smiled.

“What you wanted with the Disk, Menou?”

The receptionist was still stunned, muttering “Impossible...”. Jonah was still shocked, but managed to tap Menou's arm. He twitched, and shrugged.

“...alright, miss Marden. I will have to attach this tracker to the access port.” He dug deep into his pockets for a few seconds, sweat breaking on his forehead. His eyes flickered from side to side, from the steel doors on the far side of the room to a girl at the counter and back to Susannah's Duel Disk. “Eh... just give me a minute.” He turned on his heels and walked briskly towards the doors, moving faster and faster until he was practically running when he left the room. Jonah gasped of relief.

“Man, I'm glad he's gone. Couldn't stand him at all.” Susannah nodded slowly, but didn't reply.

 

Shuffle

 

“What do you believe in, Vergüenza? What will happen when this duel is over?” The Latino shook his head. Vergüenza Rodriguez was no fool, and never would be. The words of a Marked Lady could not be trusted, nor taken seriously.

“You tell me, Maelie. What cruel fate has the gods bestowed upon us? Are we destined to continue this war over and over again, and never to declare a final victory? Will our war never change?” His opponent, a green-haired woman with a dress of the same color, frowned. From the sides of her head, just above the ears, and from the back of her hands, long bat-like wings protruded. Their duel had gathered quite a bunch of onlookers, even a few duelists. “Those aren't real, are they?”, one of them had said, and was rewarded with a shower of laughter from his friends. “Of course they're not real, stupid. I've seen better cosplaying than that, trust me.” Maelie had just smiled at the duelists' chat as they trailed off. Now, she closed her eyes.

“The gods will always protect us, Vergüenza, even the ones you fatefully serve. Your false gods have no power compared to the Primordial. My turn. Draw!” She drew a card, and immediately placed it on the field.

“I summon Channeler of Faith!” A pillar of stone, engraved with a whale symbol, emerged from the ground - and sent pavement flying. The street literally shattered as the pillar reached higher and higher. [0|0] The people who had watched were now fleeing, their feet barely touching the ground. Vergüenza remained still, and Maelie continued.

“With it's effect, no less than four Sacred Totems are summoned from my Deck! Come forth, Sacred Totem Vanguard! [0|2000] Sacred Totem Beastfang! [800|200] Sacred Totem Cross! [1000|0] Sacred Totem Dragoneye! [800|0]” Circling around the pillar, four silver-colored artifacts appeared. They were of various shapes and sizes, the largest being almost half as tall as the pillar and shaped like a perfect cross. Vergüenza nodded.

“Five monsters, eh? None of them a real powerhouse, but I guess that's the deck you get when you're dominated by a false god.” Maelie's eyes darkened, and tiny thunderbolts cracked between her fingertips.

“Don't ever say that again, Vergüenza, or heavenly wrath will fall upon you! Channeler of Faith's effect activates!” The four totems spun faster and faster, and a bright light shone from all of them. “My Channeler gains the combined attack and defense points of all Sacred Totems I control! [0|0 ->2600|2000] Channeler of Faith, attack directly! Bright Lance of Salvation!” A brilliant bolt of white lightning erupted from the pillar, and hit Vergüenza straight in the chest. His spine went first, snapped like a twig in a thunderstorm. His jacket and shirt was torn off, flaying the skin off in the blink of an eye. The ribs snapped one by one, a series of loud pangs. The eyes rolled back into his head for a few seconds before they melted, running down his forehead. The blood vessels in his arms and legs burst, the plasma streaming out of torn-open wounds. His lungs were sliced open by his own bones, and the heart soon followed. The very force of the bolt tore his torso from his legs, and slammed it into the pavement thirty feet away.

 

shuffle

 

Jonah fell to the ground, his legs and arms shaking uncontrollably. Everything became blurry and rainbow-colored, as pink elephants danced on his eyelids. For a split second, he saw Susannah before him, stretched out to all sides until she covered his entire vision. Then, she was gone.

 

“Help, somebody! He's having a seizure!” Susannah was utterly terrified; Eric's brother had collapsed right before him, and just wouldn't stop shaking. Saliva sprayed from his mouth, and his teeth clattered. His eyes had rolled up, and his blank eyes seemed to mock her.

“Somebody, help over here!” From the corner of her eye, she saw the receptionist - finally - get out of her seat and running towards them. Susannah was just about to jump to her feet when suddenly Jonah's muscles relaxed and his body became entirely still. His eyes returned to normal, and looked at her. Susannah shrieked of surprise; she could have sworn that Jonah's eyes were green when they'd met in the door - Three hours ago? It feels like I've known him for a lifetime. - earlier. Now, they were darkest black. Then, he blinked - and it was gone. Green again. The receptionist froze in her tracks.

“You still need help, miss Marden?” Before Susannah could answer, the double metal doors banged open and Maximilian showed up, holding a small device in his left hand.

“I found it, miss Marden, I found it! It took zome rezearch, but I...”. Only now he saw that Susannah knelt on the floor beside the barely conscious Jonah. “W-w-w-what happened here?” Jonah tried to sit up and look at the company man, but Susannah held him down.

“Keep down, Jonah. You shouldn't stand right now.” He shook his head, and gently pushed her arm aside.

“I'm fine, Susannah.”

 

Although Jonah didn't exactly know what had happened - the pink elephants were still there, lurking in the corner of his eye - he felt normal. The arms still twitched a bit, but overall he was fine. That vision, it must have been a vision, felt so real. It must have happened. But that guy, Vergüenza... did he die? Because of a duel? This is worse than I thought. He slowly climbed to his feet, until he managed to stand up. His right leg twitched, and Susannah barely caught him in time. He looked at her face, only a few inches away.

“Susannah... get the tracker. Then, we'll get out of here.” Susannah nodded, and looked at Maximilian.

“Mister Menou, if you don't mind I'd rather attach it myself. The King's Hand is a very prized possession, you see, and I don't wanna damage it.” Menou gasped at the mention of Susannah's duel disk, which lay on it's side on the floor, and handed Susannah the tracker. It was a small, semi-circular device which attached to the disk's access port. The two of them, Susannah and the boy on her shoulder, turned to the doors and was just about to set off when Menou coughed.

“Before I forget it, miss Marden, I'll explain the qualification round. It'll be quick, trust me. In the next twenty-four hours, you will have to duel three people. No more, no less. If the tracker is removed, that count is reset. You will have to win at least two of those duels, and at least one of the wins must be against..” Susannah sighed.

“Against one of the players in the remaining heats, I know. My brother used to sign up late for your events all the time.” Jonah muttered something, but his voice was so low that Susannah couldn't hear.

“What did you say, Jonah?” His mouth was barely open as he uttered four simple words, keeping his eyes set on Menou.

“You should duel him.”

 

 

[spoiler= - Chapter Four - | - Inner Release - ]

This is impossible. I can't duel on working hours. This is tax payers' money I'm spending, when I could be working. I shouldn't do this. A hundred of thoughts drifted from my head as the Morae boy drifted away. The girl with the King's Hand stayed behind, of course. How could he even be expected to put up a decent challenge to a national champion? The boy must have recognized the disk as well. Mia probably brainwashed him into hating me from birth. Americans could probably do that to their children without getting in trouble for it. He'd set it up from the start, most likely. The faked seizure and the stuttering words of the “dying”, all a setup to humiliate him. Didn't the girl see it? Morae had walked away in a matter of minutes, perfectly healthy. Real seizures don't work like that, especially not those as intense as the one he tried to pull off. I sighed as I turned to the girl.

“Alright, miss Marden, if you're intent on doing this-”

 

SHUFFLE

 

I can supply you with power different from any other, Maximilian. I can give you enough power to defeat this girl utterly. All you need to do is accept my gift. A special card that will grant you the strength of ten duelists.

I humbly accept, my lady.

Good, Maximilian. You will receive my gift when in direst need.

 

SHUFFLE

 

I gasped. I felt as if my lungs had been sucked empty, desperately trying to survive. What was that? That is the last thing I remember before waking up in bed, six weeks later. Long after this matter was settled, of course.

 

All of a sudden, the man before Susannah changed. His eyes turned from white to seven shades of gray, leaving only a sparkling yellow iris - not the brown color he had just a minute ago. His hair became intensely brown, changing from the roots out in the blink of an eye. He smiled, and stretched his right hand to the sky.

Before Susannah's eyes, the roof turned to a bright, blue sky. They were standing in an open field, on the outskirts of a ruined city. She felt the wind in her hair, and the warmth of the sun on her face. Far above, a bird creaked. Gone was the city she had been in, the office she'd been standing in, the boy she had come with, and more than anything the insecure man she was about to duel. This was real... who is he? Finally, he spoke.

“I have come to defeat you, Susannah Marden. You shall be burned away from the face of this earth, and the Multiverse itself.” Susannah gasped, but he continued nonetheless. “My name is irrelevant, but I guess someone on your level cannot even grasp the full extent of it. You can call me Earthy.”

Susannah grunted. At least that confirmed something. Whatever was talking clearly wasn't the man she and Jonah had just been talking to, and it was a woman; the voice was feminine, although it was distorted through Menou's body. She nodded.

“Fine, Earthy. The faster I defeat you, the sooner I get back to the city. Let's do this.”

 

 

Unaware of these events, Jonah had left the building and headed downtown. He had to pass the time somehow, and scouting for duelists seemed like a good idea. Thanks to the seizure, he had barely heard what Menou said, but he got the gist of it. At first, it sounded very easy. She had to beat one of the remaining duelists in the Cup and at least one more. Three duels in the next twenty-four hours. To Jonah, that's piece of cake. But then, it all became clear to him. The true difficulty of the qualification round. That was the reason he was headed to the Blue Lily café, a known residence for duelists high and low. With the seventh heat of the Cup being tomorrow, the newbies would be out on their own qualification rounds, while the professionals would sit back and relax. Jonah had them all figured out. There were a select few who were playing in the upcoming rounds who would sit around and observe the newbies, much like himself. They might recognize him from last night's final, but that was unlikely. The unseated, those who weren't headed for the heats, were probably not allowed to stay up that late anyway. At least not to watch a

sillygamesillygame

duel in the middle of the streets, even with the guards and police to keep the crowd out of control. Jonah had seen a few riots in his days, but nothing really bad had happened. It was just a game, after all. The café was not as crowded as he'd hoped, but sure enough there was a few duelists there. Five or six unseated were playing without their disks in some sort of crazy tag team pass-along system. It was easy to tell the seated duelists from the ones in the seventh and eighth heats - Jonah could even tell the last two apart. The seventh-heats were going to duel tomorrow, and were all worked up and stressed, where the eight-heats were a little more laid back. Jonah had even spotted one of the few D-Wheels in the States parked outside and sure enough there was a celebrity in the café. Even had a private booth, he did. Isiah Helghast, although he was much more known by his taken name. They called him Saligia, after the seven cardinal sins. The D-Wheels themselves were brand new product, developed by Industrial Illusions's Japanese branch, and had been shipped to the States only months prior. As far as Jonah knew, there were only ten D-Wheels or so in the entire country.

 

Saligia was an excellent duelist, even without his D-Wheel, and he had won the first heat easily. No reason for Susannah to duel him. Her optimal target would be someone in the seventh heat, that much was obvious. However, there was something that bugged Jonah. Or to be precise, someone.

A young girl, probably just twelve or thirteen, at one of the outside tables. Blonde hair, set up in a ponytail, and fair skin. White t-shirt, jeans. She was a duelist alright; she carried a disk on her right arm. Jonah didn't recognize the design; it was apparently custom-made. She was unnaturally calm for a duelist her age. She was going to duel in a regional tournament in a few days, and didn't even break a sweat. People would be watching her, monitoring her every move and every draw. Yet, she kept cool. Every now and then, she cast a quick glance at him, only to look away a split second later.

 

Shuffle

 

“Some things can be hidden deep within the darkness of one's heart, Jonah. Beware of those around you.”

 

shuFfle

 

There was a bright light in Jonah's face, coming from high above. Shady figures were standing before him, dark shadows against the light. For a split second, Jonah could clearly see bat-wings protruding from the sides of their heads, and a bright green glow where their eyes should be. Maelie, he thought, has come to get me. She knows I saw her, and she's come to get me.

“He's awake! He's awake!”

The light faded away, and Jonah suddenly recognized the shades. Two waiters, the guy behind the counter, a few of the eight-heaters, and... the girl. One of the waiters, a tall sleek man with black hair and glasses, pulled Jonah to his feet. Only now did Jonah realize he was lying on the street, outside the café, only a short distance away from the girl's table. He lost his footing, and crashed down on a chair.

“...What happened?” The barman shrugged.

“You tell us. All of a sudden you ran up to her and challenged her to a duel. Next thing I know, you hit the floor.”

These things are just getting worse and worse. First the seizure, and now this? My body moves by itself? This... it's madness.

 

 

Earthy drew a card, and smiled. Menou's face had never looked more twisted.

“I summon Dark Scorpion - Don Zaloog in attack position.” A muscle-packing man in a brown shirt, wielding a pair of handguns, appeared before her. [1800|1200] The monster didn't bother Susannah much. Her Reptiless Cobra could keep her alive, combined with the Reptiless Poison she had face-down. When Earthy's monster was destroyed, she could bring back another Reptiless and use them for a Synchro Summon. Earthy continued.

“Then, I activate a Spell. Mustering of the Dark Scorpions allows me to summon as many Dark Scorpions from my Deck as possible! Come forth! Dark Scorpion - Maenae the Thorn! Dark Scorpion - Chick the Yellow! Dark Scorpion - Cliff the Trap Remover! Dark Scorpion - Burak the Desperado!” No less than four humans appeared on the field before her in a shower of light; A woman with long, brown hair and a thorned whip in her hand [1400|1400], a kid with yellow hair and a wooden hammer on his back [1300|700]; a man with short brown hair, glasses and a dagger in his right hand [1200|1000], and a tall, bald man with a revolver in his right hand. [1400|1200] They all wore similar clothing; a leather shirt, and a pair of red trousers, and a red headband. If the situation hadn't been so serious, it would've been comical.

Susannah gasped.

“Did you just summon five monsters in one turn?” Many things could be said about Earthy, but she spoke the truth at least; she was of a completely different caliber. Earthy just smiled that crooked smile again, and Susannah hissed.

“I'm not even finished yet, miss Marden. Dark Scorpions, unite! Tag up against this pathetic duelist!” The tallest of the monsters, Burak and Don Zaloog, jumped next to each other, standing back to back. Soon, Chick and Maenae did the same. Earthy nodded.

“Use your weapons together to finish this fight.” She looked at Susannah. “I send Burak, Don Zaloog, Chick and Maenae to the Graveyard, to summon two Dark Scorpion - Tag Teams to the field.” [2400|2100] [2400|2100] “What's more important, the Tag Team gains the effects of all monsters used for it's summon.” Her smile grew wider. “And all Dark Scorpions can attack directly. Additionally, Tag Teams can attack twice. Dark Scorpion! Massive Assault!”

 

Susannah only vaguely remembered the duel afterwards. The two gunslingers had hit her arm, and she was actually bleeding. Chick and Maenae had only bruised her, but Cliff's dagger had dug deep into her leg. Earthy smiled, oblivious of her opponent's injuries.

“Thanks to the Dark Scorpion's effects, you only take five-hundred damage from each attack. Not enough to kill you, as you've noticed.” [LP: 4000 -> 1500]

“However, the Scorpions aren't finished yet. Maelie's effect lets me add a Dark Scorpion - Gorg the Strong to my hand. Chick's effect destroys your face-down card.” Susannah's Reptiless Poison shattered, falling to the ground.

“Don Zaloog's effect sends a card in your hand to the Graveyard, and Burak's effect removes another one.” The two gunslingers pointed their weapons at Susannah's hand, and fired two quick shots. Two cards were blown to hell and beyond - so were three of Susannah's fingers. Only bloodied stumps remain. Susannah screamed in sheer agony, and fell to the ground.

“What the hell, you freaking psycho! You don't just go around shooting people!”

Earthy shrugged.

“I told you what would happen, didn't I? They'd remove a piece of your hand, and they did.” At this time, blood was streaming from the wounds on Susannah's arms and legs, not to mention her hand. “Also, the effect of Chick the Yellow activates, returning your Reptiless Cobra to your hand. I end my turn. Thanks to my Mustering card, Cliff the Trap Remover returns to my hand. Nothing in this world is certain, Susannah. You if anyone should know that.”

Susannah drew a card, as best she could. Blood was trickling down the cards in her hand. She looked from one card to the other, trying to find a strategy before she died of blood loss. Then, it appeared to her.

“I activate the Spell Card, Reptiless Curse! By discarding the Reptiless Leviathan in my hand, I can decrease the attack points of all cards on the field by it's own attack points, which are three thousand!” Susannah thought she detected a hint of surprise in Earthy's face (Menou's face) but it might just have been a twitch.

“With that, your monsters have been reduced to zero attack points! I summon Reptiless Boa from my hand.” A small, writhing snake emerged from the tall grass, eyes fixed at the Dark Scorpions.

“With it's effect, I can summon another Reptiless monster from my Deck, as long as it's Level is the same as a monster with zero attack points on the field! Which means, I can summon a level six monster! Reptiless Medusa, come on out!” The very earth below grinded and shattered as a gorgon emerged from the ground. It's hair was snakes even, and they hissed at Earthy's monsters.

“Now, Synchro Summon! Reptiless Boa! Reptiless Medusa!” The two monsters exploded, changing into eight level stars. As the stars circled around Susannah, her eyes changed, glittering purple. “The wandering witch listens to the spirits, and forms her own path. Be the manifesto of her strength! Synchro Summon, revenge of the world! Reptiless Jörmungandr!”

 

The stars simply vanished. The blood flow from Susannah's injuries stopped, and Earthy could barely stare in awe as her wounds healed up before her eyes. Even her lost fingers regrew, in a matter of moments.

“When Reptiless Jörmungandr is summoned, I can destroy up to two monsters with zero attack points on the field. Then, I regain Life Points equal to their combined original attack points.” The ground beneath the two tag teams became liquid, and they sank faster than a falling rock. [LP: 1500 -> 6300] Earthy spat on the ground.

“But that's your problem, Susannah. Your monster hasn't been summoned yet.” She waved Menou's hand into the open air. “There's no monster here, I would have sensed it.” Susannah shook her head.

“Jörmungandr is the world serpent. It encompasses all. Jörmungandr gains attack points equal to the one of the destroyed monsters' original attack points. With that, it raises to forty-nine hundred.”

There was a noticeable tremor. Earthy gasped. “Forty-nine hundred?”

“Reptiless Jörmungandr, attack directly. Let her bathe in the flames of destruction.”

 

Susannah had only summoned Jörmungandr once before, as it was very situational, but she knew it was good. What she didn't know was how this world would react to it. She had kept cool in front of Earthy, but actually she had no idea where her monster was. The words seemed to flow out of her mouth by their own accord. Flames of destruction? Why would I say-

 

Then she knew. The ground opened up into a large rift, covering the entire field. Inside it was nothing but a gigantic mouth, lined by rows and rows of sharp teeth. Jörmungandr shot out of the ground, rising over a thousand feet into the air with more and more of the serpentine body coming out of the hole. [4900|2800] With an astounding roar, the dragon opened it's mighty jaw and a white flame shot out from it. Earthy's scream was horrendous as Menou's body was torn apart, and Susannah was blinded by the brilliant light.

 

 

[Weather Report - Stand]

Well, sometimes(well, actually maybe twice before), I write positive reviews about stories. I hope that this counts as one.

Those of you that were around about this time last year might have heard of Legacy of the Tormentor' date=' my own "masterpiece" of sorts. Well, after looking over the earlier chapters of this story, I've come to the realization that they were shameful. So, with the talent I've hopefully earned since then, I have decided to rewrite the entire first volume, known as Legends, so that the story will at least be liked by myself.Don't ask me why I'm using purple, but I've had the same idea before. Sometime after maybe part three of my story--no, this isn't the place to talk about this. Excuse moi.

 

Those of you that are interested in reading the original story - in case you'd like to know about events certain to come, it can be found here. Remember that it's a bit iffy, though.

 

[spoiler=Prologue: The Heavens and the Earth]

[align=justify]

Long ago, before the time of the mortals, in the first few moments of existence, only one thing existed - the Primal Mind.We could have gotten a short, mystifying statement about what it looked like, unless nobody knew that before. We can only begin to grasp the vast power of this being, this ruler of everything that would exist.I'm starting to get confused as tyo WHAT this mind looks like. My first guesses were a really big giant and a ginormous brain. And I didn't make up the word 'ginormous' myself, and I'm pretty sure my guesses will be wrong. It created the world as we know it today, the planets of the many solar systems far around the many universes that have been found - it can all be traced back to the Primal Mind.One word--how? Many stories use the trick of just telling that things happened and then some actually, very late into the tale, show how it's done. I'm not going to read the original, as to spoil the plot, but I'm hoping I get to witness the power first-hand.

 

At some point in time, the Primal Mind encountered something it had never seen before, and certainly had not created; a pillar of black stone, inscribed with the mark of an eight-legged insect.A spider... but I like spiders... except for the evil ones... well, there wasn't anything else to say here. As the Primal Mind touched the magnificent rock, it was infected. Much like a tree will eventually wither and die, every creation has it's flaw - even creation itself. This pillar was one such flaw - a misconstruction, an alignment of particles that was not meant to be.What is it? Could it be... curiosity? I'm reviewing as I go, so I haven't skipped ahead. Our oldest texts, dating back from the Pantheon's Age, names this pillar as “the Antithesis of Mind” or simply “Antithesis” - the polar opposite of the Primal Mind. *gasp* The anti-giant brain? Did this event make dark sides in everything ever created by this magnificent being? I'll wait and see.

 

As time passed, life flourished in many of the universes that now existed. Will we be exploring any parallel universes here? There was no question that creation was successful. Except for Antithesis, of course. Hm. It has a capitalized name, now. This doesn't bode well. One day came the event that would be known as the Shattering Unity to those who know it's true nature; the Ascension to everyone else.Wow, sounds major. Enlightenment for some, and doom for others? This sounds an awful lot like religion, I'm just saying. The Primal Mind was overtaken by the Antithesis inside it's system, and the struggle between the two was long and destructive. In the end, the Primal Mind emerged successful - but with a price. The God's mind was torn in half during the battle, each being part God and part Antithesis. Dark sides sure do have a lot of stories. But is that a bad thing? The benign half, which only partially contained the Antithesis, became the Multiverse's new ruler - Obelisk, the Tormentor.Wait. Could the Primal Mind be... Saint Dragon of Osiris(yep, Ra COULDN'T have done it)?! I know, it wasn't. Does this story take place in Egypt? Sure Obelisk is cool. But he's making me wonder about where this is happening. Sure we started with a giant 'brain(?)', but if we now use Egyptians, I'm gonna be irritated and confused. Are there still egyptian god cards in this story, or does this not even use dueling in it? I'm kinda getting tired of saying 'we'll see' and 'sure', but I have to remind myself that this is an intro. His opposite, which consisted of almost pure Antithesis and in which next to no amounts of the Primal Mind were contained, fled to the darkest depths of the Multiverse - the Pillar of Antithesis, where it once was formed, and the world it lived in.Just so you know, that was a long sentence. From this pillar, it forged a dark tower, a building so great and intimidating that for many millenniums to come, it would stand deserted. This dark god, this enemy of all creation, only carried one name; the Dreadroot. The origin of destruction itself.Great! Wicked Dreadroot! Now I'm pumped, since I've always liked this guy, without needing to want to play him. He just seemed awesome.

 

This event, the division of one god into two, caused the greatest disaster in the history of the Multiverse. A black hole, so immense that entire worlds were swallowed in them was formed, billions of billions of innocents sweeping into it before anyone had the time to react.Well, at least they didn't feel any pain. In the end, when the black hole ceased, the Multiverse benefited from it.Which side of it? Good or evil? From the epicenter of the hole, four orbs of energy shot out; The eggs of four magnificent dragons that would shape the Multiverse around them.Oh, crap. Here we go...! Two of the eggs came to the Tormentor's Palace, and he named them Osiris and Ra.OH YEAH. That's actually a cool idea, I like that. From this destruction came these awesome engines of destruction? The same's gonna happen for the wickeds, of course, but I still like this idea, no matter how odd it is for something to come out of the wreckage of a black hole. In time, the two dragons earned worshipers of their own, and the three deities became known as the Pantheon of Light.It explains so much and raises so many questions of its own, somehow.

The others were sent to the Dreadroot, who gave them no names. Bummer. And by sent, did Obelisk just throw them away, thinking 'Ah don' need 'um. Heer ya' go'? Shouldn't they have been stolen? Or did they float away in space? In fact, another question arises: Can any of these guys talk(the newly-born guys)? Juts curious. Instead, he instantly released one of the dragons from it's egg, bringing forth a mighty destructive beast. This, he gave the title of Eraser.Too bad a title and a name are different. As he looked at the second egg, he decided not to release it, but instead shield it from ever being hatched; the sleeping mind within it had the potential to overthrow them all.Liking the use of the ability... This egg became known as the Avatar.Were all of the eggs shaped like that? Could be. Were they color-coded? Maybe not. The Dreadroot's rule was established in the Wicked Tower's realm, where not even the bravest of the Tormentor's knights would venture.Which one's more powerful, though?

 

In everything else, the Tormentor flourished.That answers my question. He ruled the Multiverse with a soft hand and a closed fist, disposing of those that needed such treatment.That sounds fair to me. Meanwhile, the Dreadroot gathered his forces, as his servants - the Dread Cult - gathered around the Wicked Tower.Oh noes! This looks to be a battle afoot! Soon, he was ready. After gathering hundreds of thousands from many of the Tormentor's realms and infusing them with the Antithesis' power, he unleashed them upon the Palace of the Tormentor. Even though surprised by the attack, the Tormentor's soldiers fought well, but were succumbed by the very mass of the Dreadroot's army. Aw, darn it all. But wait for it... The Tormentor himself fell to the hands of the Dreadroot, but not all was lost. Huzzah! A loophole!

 

You see, the Tormentor was very “active”.Ha ha. 'Pure good side' my eye! He had many children, both legitimate and not, who managed to escape the Palace while their god and father held the lines with the two Legendary Dragons at his side.Once more, did the dragons talk? I like talking dragons, since they have nice personalities. As everything they had once called home fell apart around them, the Tormentor's heirs fled their world and entered a new.Either you meant 'anew' or they entered a new... house? Car dealership? Just a slight error. They crashed down on the surface of an aspiring planet, with great oceans and lush rainforests, accidentally obliterating all land-living creatures.There go the dinos. "Whoops, we just killed all land-based creatures! LET'S PARTY!!" And if they came to another planet, then did they have space suits? Were they protected by magic? Is this left to the readers' imaginations? Life would regrow, much thanks to the influence of the Tormentor's heirs, and prosper.Hooray for babies! The new inhabitants were much more civilized in nature, and soon their blood would be mixed with that of the god's descendants, and their children would grow to become individuals we all know from history; Alexander the Great, Genghis Khan, George Washington, Julius Caesar, Hernán Cortés, and many more. The planet would eventually be known as Earth.Wait. Wouldn't... Benedict Arnold be one of their children, too?! BLASPHEMY!! Joke.

 

Today, everything is about to change.Of course! WHy else would this be a story, then? June 30th, Red Sky City.Great name, but pretty stereotypically cool-sounding, doncha tink? Somewhere on the American east coast.I LOVE the American east coast! I live there... wait, that ruins it. The pieces are set, and the Game can begin.Wait...CARD game?! Since I'm not spoiling myself, I won't know for now.

~ Ringan, Elemental Sage[/align]

 

 

Overall, it was another one of those confusing prologues that makes me want to ask questions. But I love how this story got set up. Since you didn't use n00b-speak whenever I saw you post, I automatically knew you'd be a good writer. And I was right, you met my expectations. Keep up revising the good work. I'd like to have seen a bit more description in the prologue, but I KNOW we'll get that as the series re-progresses(re since you're re-doing it, right?).

 

WEATHER REPORT: OUT.

[Soul Legacy]

The proluge holds very many gaps and questions, but i shall wait for later on, good start! ;)

[Phantom Roxas]

Naturally, I shall be reading this. I'm glad that you are rewriting your Fanfic, and I can already tell this will be good. I'm glad that we know the full details of the six deities from the start. Will this remake follow events exactly as they did in the original with upgrades in the writing format, or will events be entirely different? I also would like to know if you intend to rewrite Inheritance of the World and the Red Sky Chronicles.

[Umbra]

The prologue was meant to be Genesis-type, as can be hinted by the title. It's meant to give away just enough to set up the rest of the story, while still keeping some things hidden. I appreciate your comments, both of you. That type of elaborate review is exactly what I want.

 

This time around, I'll tie in the chapters to the main story a bit faster. Chapter One is completed as we speak, but I'll complete Chapter Two before you get a chance to see it. :)

 

---

 

The basic plot will be the same, but certain events will be edited. Some names will be changed in order to protect the innocent. Not entirely different, but different enough.

 

The Chronicles will definitely be rewritten, as they're an integral part of the story, and I'll probably get to Inheritance sooner or later. With any luck, I'll finish it as well. :O

[Phantom Roxas]

The prologue was meant to be Genesis-type' date=' as can be hinted by the title. It's meant to give away just enough to set up the rest of the story, while still keeping some things hidden. I appreciate your comments, both of you. That type of elaborate review is exactly what I want.

 

This time around, I'll tie in the chapters to the main story a bit faster. Chapter One is completed as we speak, but I'll complete Chapter Two before you get a chance to see it. :)

[/quote']

 

When can we expect the entirety of the main story for Volume 1 be finished?

 

The basic plot will be the same' date=' but certain events will be edited. Some names will be changed in order to protect the innocent. Not entirely different, but different enough.

[/quote']

 

Sounds good to me.

 

The Chronicles will definitely be rewritten' date=' as they're an integral part of the story, and I'll probably get to Inheritance sooner or later. With any luck, I'll finish it as well. :O

[/quote']

 

Awesome. Let us hope that YCMaker can allow the character limit in this section to be lifted.

[Umbra]

The prologue was meant to be Genesis-type' date=' as can be hinted by the title. It's meant to give away just enough to set up the rest of the story, while still keeping some things hidden. I appreciate your comments, both of you. That type of elaborate review is exactly what I want.

 

This time around, I'll tie in the chapters to the main story a bit faster. Chapter One is completed as we speak, but I'll complete Chapter Two before you get a chance to see it. :)

[/quote']

 

When can we expect the entirety of the main story for Volume 1 be finished?

 

Probably faster than the original. With Antithesis in the story as well, I have a lot of plot elements to unfold, but I'll be faster than my usual rate.

[Ezio]

[align=center]Wow, I like it so far.

I don't want to read the original, but rather see how this turns out.[/align]

[Guest Star]

I had never known the backstory of Legacy of the Tormentor, but now that I do, I can't wait to see your first episode. It could have been me, but I think I saw some grammatical errors in there. Other than that, there were no issues with the Prologue and I like the fact that it leaves the readers wanting more.

 

Great job, and I expect you'll continue to do the same.

[Guest Ixigo]

Jesus, I loved that story! I laughed a lot at how the minor half-assedly designed character I submitted early on ended up.

 

I can see where you're coming from concerning the re-write - there's already vast improvement in just the prologue [i went back to compare]. Now I'm already hooked to go and re-read the entire story, since I've forgotten much of it, especially the earlier parts, since back then, but I sort of want to stick it out and read it as you rewrite it.

 

Damn, this sure brings back memories.

[Umbra]

Jay, Ixi-senpai's Seal of Approval!

 

First chapter is up.

[Weather Report - Stand]

I wouldn't know if this could work in your story, but could Obelisk transform into this at one point?

http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Card_Tips:Obelisk_the_Tormentor

Or does he never show up again?

[Umbra]

Are you asking if Obelisk can turn into Obelisk?

 

Because that seems kinda obvious.

[Weather Report - Stand]

Are you asking if Obelisk can turn into Obelisk?

 

Because that seems kinda obvious.

 

But it looks so awesome and black compared to the last one. COMPARE!!

Which one looks cooler in your opinion?

[Umbra]

The former, but it's just an artwork change. Obelisk is still Obelisk.

[Weather Report - Stand]

I know, but it's badass... anyways.

[Phantom Roxas]

Already I see quite a number of differences, and I liked them. However, I'm curious about why Isaac's last name was changed to "Marden". Did you just like it more than "Gendevan"? Will we see Susannah in the next chapter?

[Umbra]

Marden was a personal preference, yes. When it came to rewriting, I decided to change the name.

 

And yes, Susannah will appear in the next chapter. Before chapter four, I predict, a certain wall will be broken.

[Fen.]

Fantastic. Very different level of good writing other than most on this site. But what do u expect from Umbra?

 

Quite a page turner (Or scroller in this case) I really look forward to reading more. I do hope you stick to this story unlike your other fanfics.

[Umbra]

Trust me, LoT is a story I intend to finish. Again. >.>

Either way, [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHLC-EimdAc]official themesong[/url] until I find something better.

[Ezio]

Awesome chapter. ;D

I thought Isaac would've won and become the main character there...

[Phantom Roxas]

The current theme song is a little meh for the story.

 

Since you released Chapter 1, I assume Chapter 2 is finished as well. I take it you're going to finish Chapter 3 before we get Chapter 2?

[Umbra]

The current theme song is a little meh for the story.

 

Since you released Chapter 1' date=' I assume Chapter 2 is finished as well. I take it you're going to finish Chapter 3 before we get Chapter 2?

[/quote']

 

It fits the general theme, if you think about it. Not too epic, but appropriate.

 

Chapter 2 is finished, yes. I could do some 5D's-style previews, if you'd like that.

[Phantom Roxas]

I'm not sure about previews.

[Umbra]

Anyone else have a comment about the previews? Or at least, a yes or a no?