| The Quest | Renovations Cancelled |

[Kaisu]

OKAY!

This is my first thread under 'FanFic', and this is NOT a FanFic of anything, this is my work with insperation from Garth Nix. A backstory like 'Keys to the Kingdom', and here are a few words-

RATE, be HARSH and HELP me improve as a writer.

[spoiler=Prolouge]

[align=center]He shall come from the first realm

He shall become the master

Of the Items of the Light

He shall destroy all darkness

And He shall be person

That is His true self

May the master win

Out of truth

The prophecy of the realms[/align]

 

A man laughed, rocking his chair. “May the Master win? Not possible with me around.” The man said menacingly. He was in a wooden cabin, in a leather armchair with a fireplace in front of him. The cabin was created in Nowhere, a distorted space that connected all the realms.

The man was called Shadex. He held most of the Items of the Darkness. He had a Black mask covering his face, a rapier that reflected only darkness thrust inside his belt, a black gauntlet that had blood-red rubies in the place of the knuckles and on the other hand a glove with a ring that showed a dragon’s head with a ruby on the top of his head, and more rubies for its eyes.

He had black amour that was streaked with red, but covered by a long black coat. He was a shady man in general, but still an impressive figure. He threw the parchment into the fireplace, and laughed. “Fire, begone!” He instructed. There was a commanding sound in his voice as he spoke, and the fire quickly put itself out. He stepped up towards the fire, his leather boots lighting up whenever some ember passed. The words of the prophecy were burning red through the ashes. The man screamed out in rage. “Begone!” The man yelled again, this time pulling out the rapier, which turned into a sword, encrusted with rubies and drakyn, an extremely rare gemstone infused with darkness.

The thick blade quickly burst into flame, sensing his feelings. The flame shot out of the sword and into the floor of the fireplace, creating a hole leading to Nowhere. “Return to the infinite reaches of Nowhere!” He shouted as more flames shot out of the sword and made the hole larger. The prophecy broke apart, reforming into four words. THE PROPHECY SHALL PROVAIL. Then the man got sucked towards the hole, as a torrent blew all over the cabin. The cabin was being distorted completely into the hole. He smashed the gauntlet into the ground, and darkness crept out from underneath it, quickly sinking into the hole. The hold got larger, and the darkness couldn’t to anything. He had created a hole in the universe somewhere between Nowhere and the first realm. “Take me to the final realm!” He commanded, before jumping into the hole. The cabin was sucked by the torrent into the hole, and disappeared.

 

 

[spoiler=Chapter One=A New Savior]“The realms…. Scattered throughout time and space, entering any rift in their way….. The Arynus Realm… constant fighting resides on it, it is a world literally split apart, the species that dwell on it’s surface are either on one side or the other. This realm, like many others, was destroyed by Shadex. No-one knows how he conjured the millions of demons, who did his bidding, slaying everything in sight, but they swarmed over the realm, and it was set on a course for the Final Realm. They still remain in the realm, fighting against the many beings that resist against his order of supreme control over the realms…..

 

The Final Realm, its true name forgotten, is a large world of shadows. Every realm that fell into the many rifts around it was never seen again. Its structure seems to be a large whirlpool of the rifts and itself, like a black hole. A large unbalance is there, for it has no elements, nor light.

The Darayus Realm’s existence is unknown…. Commonly referred to as ‘The First Realm’, it is the largest realm ever spoken of, and many different civilizations thrived on its many worlds. The true legend is from a world called Greua. Only one of its areas has any life forms, but that world… Tyrul…. Is home to one large group of living beings, who have strange technology, and they are set apart from the rest of the dimension by one difference…. Not knowing of any other realms.

But there is one thing they have… from one thriving civilization…. He shall be born. The one who shall save us… from Shadex. He is the one spoken of in the prophecy of the realms, the one who shall gather the items of the light…. He will come and save us. He will fight Shadex and stop him and his armies of demons. He will-” The book snapped shut. “Bah, it blabbers on about him as well!” A man said, throwing his arms up in frustration. As he did this, his body began to change, claws started to crawl out from under his nails, and he started to grow to an impossible height. The other man muttered some sorcerous words, and a cloak flew out from a nearby tree and covered the first man, who returned to normal.

 

“We need to keep these forms, don’t just go ripping them all up.” He said to him, annoyed.

 

“It’s not my fault! After reading all this mumbo-jumbo about this stupid hero would get you riled up as well!” The other man shouted.

 

“Feiz… be quiet.” The other man said through gritted teeth, and they both moved quietly though the rain. They looked cautiously out to the sides every now and then, checking for the Hunters. The Hunters were created like most other things, by sorcery. They had claws on one arm and a net on the other, and by nature they were ruthless, and they never strayed off their jobs, to find their target and either capture or kill them.

 

The sound of the rain continued as they went underneath a bridge, the first shelter they had come across. They sat down on a bench, exaughsted. Several things dropped down on either side of the bridge, and Feiz jumped in horror. “Blaid… they’ve got us….” He spluttered, and the Hunters were clearly visible, their claws lighting up whenever thunder struck. They all plunged their claws into the ground and bright flashed erupted as they drained electricity.

 

“We’re not their target… They won’t kill us unless we get in their way….” Blaid said, and heaved a sigh of relief.

 

“They’re claws are awfully short…. They can’t kill their target anyway…” Feiz commented when the Hunters ripped out their claws and continued on their journey, splitting up.

 

“It should be safe, if they can travel without disguise, so can we.” Blaid said, and he grabbed his shoulder, muttered something and he pulled with so much force that he would have ripped his arm off. He did rip it off, a whole cloak came off him, revealing his true looks. He was a 5 meter tall figure, with blue hair and a handsome face. Despite being so tall, he had the face of a 10 year old human. He had three large claws on each hand, which retracted themselves, but came out as three spikes on his shoulders. A set of wings unfolded themselves, and they flexed in the rain, lit up by lightning. They were a soft blue, slightly lighter than his hair.

 

The Hunters, who had entered the city, traveled quickly, but they seemed lost. They wandered around the city, and they found their assigned location. They moved quickly towards it, until one was hit by a white vehicle with blaring red sirens. He disappeared into the night but the rest of the group took no care, and continued moving hastily towards the building. They went to different parts of the building and clung onto the walls, listening for their target’s first breaths. They heard nothing however. Then, in room ID CHBI126, a child was born. However, this was not an ordinary baby.

 

Just then, as he started crying, everyone in the world stopped dead. They all felt it, a strange glimmer of hope bursting, a strange jubilant feeling erupting through their body. Feeling this, the Hunters jumped to the top of the building with ease, and ripped off parts of the roof, making their way towards the target.

 

Feiz and Blaid were flying, but Blaid’s newly grown wings had a hard time, and Feiz had to swoop down and throw him higher into the air every now and again. Then they felt that glimmer of hope, and Feiz didn’t let it sway his flying. He looked back at Blaid, who had disappeared. Just then they both felt it along with everyone else, the strange amount of sudden hope. “OUR SAVIOR IS BORN!” Blaid cried, and he dived off an apartment block he had taken the time to climb. He swooped down and flew back up, his wings were almost singing with glee. Instead, they were humming merrily, and working much better than usual.

 

In the hospital, the Hunters were making reckless movements, throwing people out of the way as they weaved their way towards their target. They rammed down a wall, broke through the roof and slammed down the door as they entered the room. They faced the baby and the mother, and then at the father. One of them moved towards the baby, bowing down, but readying his claws and net. The other did the same, but the one nearest the father was attacked by surprise, and the father injected a fluid into his neck, killing him. He hit the Hunters out of the way, and sirens could be heard outside. Rushed footsteps were heard outside, and police officers came into the room, shooting at the hunters, who eventually died.

 

Just then the window smashed, and a blue head came out, and it looked up, and the mother looked into the handsome face of Blaid, terrified, hopeful and confused all at the same time. The police started shooting at Blaid, but he didn’t take the shots well. He was soon sprawled out on the floor, glowing white blood slowly coming out. Feiz came through what was left of the window, and looked at Blaid, then at the baby and mother. He kneeled down to them. “Master…” he muttered, then looked back at Blaid. He looked back at the baby and mother, then at the father, and then the police. “WHO DID THIS!?” he barked. The police were shocked and dropped their weapons, and put their hands up. “I don’t know any sorcery… You heal him, you did it.” Feiz growled at the police, who backed out of the room, sniggering slightly. Feiz was crushed. He fell on the floor, not knowing what to do. He couldn’t return to his old realm without Blaid, who was injured badly. He stayed like that for a long time, and he found himself being touched, and his head flicked up. He looked at the father, who had Blaid on his shoulder, supporting him.

 

“How about you heal up at our place for a while?” The father asked.

 

“I… don’t know… I want to go home… but Blaid… I can’t open a portal without him…. But I can’t stay in Tyrul for long….” Feiz mumbled, thinking. Soon, he nodded.

 

“What did you mean by master?” The father asked him. They were now in the waiting room.

 

“He is our savior, the one who shall kill Shadex and rule this dimension,” Feiz said. “Ask Blaid for the full details.” He added. After a long wait, a heavily bandaged Blaid came into the waiting room, confused. He was accompanied by several nurses who had brought him here. Feiz ran over to him and held him with one hand, worried. He was not well… he had strange substances inside his body, none that he knew of. “Get rid of those substances in him.” He growled, and the nurses were confused.

 

“They’re just Anti-Biotics, its fine.” She smiled.

 

“Get rid of them, stupid human.” He growled, pulling his claws up to her neck. He managed a weak nod, and they carried Blaid out of the room.

Feiz turned back to the father, who’s name was Graham. He had vivid brown hair and a fair face, and he was a tall figure dressed in tight white clothes.

 

“I’m still confused… what were those other things?” He asked. Feiz, who had donned a humanoid cloak again, was now 2 meters, had strange bulges on his shoulder and three ridiculously long fingers on each hand. A Humanoid Cloak was an enchanted cloak, so the bearer would be given a human-like appearance, only the wings and claws gave those odd looks. Humanoid cloaks were a delicacy, and he and Blaid had stolen them.

 

“Those were Hunters.” Feiz replied, and Graham stared at him, confused. “Made to hunt down their target, either kill them or bring them in alive.” Feiz said, and Graham was still staring at him, now horrified. Feiz knew it had just dawned on him that the Hunters could have just killed his wife or child. “Don’t worry, they weren’t supposed to kill anyone today…” Feiz reassured him, patting his back. He had unnatural strength by human standards, so Graham winced as he felt like he was being hit.

 

Before they knew it, a large beast suddenly smashed through a wall, and it faced Feiz and Graham. Feiz threw off his cloak, and his wings flexed themselves and his claws sprang out, ready to fight. The beast was like a lion, with jet-black fur and large white claws. He reared up and Feiz did the same, and they both charged at each other. Feiz was hit back and sent flying into the wall, and he lay sprawled on the ground. Blaid ran through the door, only a blur. He ran up to the beast, a Gios, and madly slashed at him with his claws. He was a calm and cheerful sorcerer in the norm, but in the battlefield, he was a fast and merciless warrior. He soon had sunken his claws into the Gio’s neck.

He pulled out his claws triumphantly, and he jumped down to the ground.

 

“Feiz, I’ll need your help with him.” He said, and Feiz ran over, and they hoisted him up and threw him out the window, breaking the wall around it in the process. He flew out, leaving Graham shocked and speechless. The two soared towards the Gios, and they both landed on its back.

 

“You shave the fur; I’ll look for someplace to put it.” Feiz instructed, and the two got to work. Blaid flew overhead, then decided nowhere was going to work, as he wanted to eat the meat, and it would need to be kept frozen, and he knew no means of sorcery to keep it in that state. He flew back to Feiz, who was happily loading the fur into a bag. When he was done, the two flew back into the hospital.

 

“We need somewhere to put it.” Blaid said, and Graham looked at him as if he was crazy. “Keep it frozen.” Blaid added, and Graham thought about it.

 

“What are you anyway?” Graham asked after several minutes of silence.

 

“We are Crexilon, a life form from the planet Dorhenyr.” Blaid replied, and Graham seemed to half-understand. When Blaid spoke again, he was rather uncomfortable.

 

“But your son…. Raise him well, but there will be a time he will need to be handed over. The Prophecy of the realms has chosen him, he will grow to be a great leader…. You must protect him, he is our only chance against….” He hesitated for a moment. “Shadex…” He finnaly said.

 

“When? Why does it have to be James? Can’t the Prophecy choose someone else’s child!?” Graham protested, and Blaid shook his head, and flew away, Feiz tailing behind him, until he turned and spoke.

 

“We will be back….”

 

[spoiler=Chapter Two=Two Fall, Two Rise]Shadex was perched atop a cliff, watching the fighting below. 3 Aragath years ago, he had felt it, a strange feeling of doom. He knew that others would have felt hope, but he was infused with darkness, something irreversible, he felt the opposite. That had made the fighting in Arynus much more intense than it had before, and everyone waited for the day their hero came and destroyed his demons forever.

 

Little did they know that Tyrul was home to a group of weak mortals, not a great band of fighters, leaders and whatnot. Shadex had taken off some of the items, and now he only wielded the mask, armor and sword. He jumped off the cliff, landing on the ground below. He slashed the sword into the air, and a fresh wave of darkness came out, killing several Crexilon. They may have come from Dorhenyr, but he had turned that into a wasteland several millennia ago.

 

He continued walking, and no-one dared to try and fight him. He reached a village, and he sent waves of darkness towards it, the black waves destroying the whole village. A large amount of Crexilon scurried away, injured. He felt something strange. A slight twinge of doom. He spun around, and he saw it. There was a Hilynum coming towards him, something shining in his hand. Hilynum were savage beings, looking rather like werewolves, they killed anyone who was in their way. Like most, this one had several scars, mostly coming from his family and friends.

 

He was confident; whatever was shining in his hand gave him power. He raised his hand and a ball of light came down to him, and he threw it at Shadex. Shadex out his arms out to the sides, knowing his armor could take the hit. Sure enough, it did. The ball sank into his armor, and then it was shot back at the Hilynum. As the Hilynum braced himself, Shadex used the time to rear up for a charge. The ball exploded, making a blinding flash.

Shadex ran towards him, sword at the ready. The sword was blocked however, and Shadex saw that he had blocked it with his own hand. Shadex looked again, and saw there was a gold-trimmed white gauntlet on his hand, which he recognized as an Item of the Light. Knowing he could easily overpower him, Shadex swiped at him with his sword, which he blocked again with the Item. As he did this, Shadex thrust his hand up, and he wrapped his fingers against the Hilynum’s throat, strangling him.

 

The Hilynum’s fingers ceased, and the sword was released. He stayed there, dark streams steadily flowing towards his head. The streams sank into his brain, and the Hilynum stopped dead, with a look of terror on his face. His arms and legs fell, leaving him dangling in the air, held by Shadex. He let go of the Hilynum, and muttered something. Immediately, the gauntlet flew up towards him. He couldn’t touch it, not without his own match.

 

He let it hover before him, and he walked away from the village, now left to collapse on itself. He seemed to disappear suddenly, and everyone around knew what his appearance had bring. He now held another Item, and their world would be in the clutches of the Final Realm much sooner than they had ever thought…

 

In the center of the Final Realm, now called Aragath by the few who inhabited it, Shadex was examining the Item he had brought back. He had his own gauntlet on, and with it, he could touch the gauntlet freely without feeling the side effects.

He decided to merge his power. He force the gauntlet onto his hand, and though resisting a lot and letting out bright flashes, once it was on, it settled. Shadex grinned. He grinned a mischievous, evil grin. He was now much more powerful, with limited powers over Light as well.

 

He saw a portal open behind him, and he spun around, to see a lady walking through. She was not ordinary; she had a ring which was definitely an Item. He had lost the item in Nowhere, a mistake he regretted. The ring was the weakest Item, but it quickly adapted to someone. Once it did, it could be used to be just as powerful as the Final Item. “Shadex…” She said cruelly, and three black claws appeared on her hand. Shadex merely laughed.

 

“I hold five items, and you challenge me with only one?” He laughed. “I will crush you…” He said menacingly. He picked up his sword, but to his surprise, it wasn’t there. The lady jumped into the air and slashed down, now with the sword. Shadex grabbed the blade with both his hands, slowly pushing it towards his opponent.

 

“I am the Huntress! You will die!” The lady screamed, slashing at him with her claws. She narrowly missed, and Shadex used this opportunity to punch her, and she fell to the floor at once, streams of darkness slowly devouring her.

 

“If you think you will kill me, you are sadly mistaken. Now, sit back and relax as darkness sends you into its void…” Shadex laughed. He picked up the sword and pointed it at her back.

 

“Not… Today…” The Huntress wheezed, and the darkness slid off her, and she pointed the sword away from her, and summoned a demon to keep Shadex busy while she got up. Shadex killed the demon in one swipe of his sword, and he turned to the Huntress.

 

“You can’t win against me… We both know that…” Shadex said, and the sword slowly changed into an axe, with red streams and encrusted with rubies. He slashed the axe, each one leaving a black line in the air. Shadex might have had more power, but the Huntress was much more agile. He chased after her, leaving countless black lines in the small area. He held out a hand and pointed it at the Huntress, and the lines turned and sped towards her like arrows. As the first one hit, she was sent plummeting into the wall, and the line kept her stuck to it. More lines came over her until they completely covered by them. He held the axe up in the air, and it turned back into a sword, which he pointed at the lines, which slowly faded, along with the Huntress. As he did this, the lines started exploding, sending small pieces of darkness all around the room.

 

“I will not go down… we both know that…” the Huntress said grimly, and claws reappeared on her hands. She walked up to Shadex, who now had a voice echoing in hi head.

 

“Dorhenyr is almost in destruction range… Ten ganeseh pending….” The voice repeated, and Shadex smiled. As always, he smiled twisted smile, not one with any sense of happiness, an evil, horrific smile. He stepped back into the shadows and disappeared. The Huntress, knowing what he had done, ran into the shadows as well, putting her fingers in a portal. She slowly wrenched it apart, and she stepped into it herself.

 

Shadex was now on a void in Aragath, watching Dorhenyr slowly heading to its final demise. Demons swarmed out of one of the black holes, pushing the realm’s boundaries towards a black hole, but it remained in one place as there was more than one group, all trying to push it in a different direction. The Huntress was watching from the shadows behind him, horrified. She had grown up in this realm… all her memories… she ran out of her hiding place, angrily swiping at Shadex, who effortlessly dodged all of her attacks. He grabbed her arm and threw her out, sending her into a black hole.

 

Blaid had a horrid feeling in his gut. He looked around him, seeing his family and other Crexilon getting weaker, the life in their eyes disappearing. He looked at Feiz, who was struggling as well. Several sorcerers were trying to counter the effects of the final realm, but the void was too large for them. He gripped his sister firmer than before, and to his horror, she was slumped in his arms, cold. He turned her head to look at her, and there was nothing in her eyes. Nothing but a strange, turquoise orb in her head. Her wings were also slumped, difficult to stay alive.

 

“Stay alive…” He murmured, his eyes glowing a strange blue. Not the kind and happy blue it usually was, but a sad and dark blue. Several other Crexilon’s bodies were slumped, meaning they were nearing their end. The light faded, and swarms of demons came over the world. Most people accepted their death and lied down on the ground, while some readied their claws for battle. A group of them flew into the air, furiously swiping at the incoming demons. More Crexilon fell, and the remaining ones continued fighting, not giving up. Blaid still had his sister in his arm, and he was swiping at the demons, and he realized something. James… James… JAMES! He thought suddenly, and on the other side of the dimension, in Tyrul, a baby woke up, startled and crying.

 

“What is now?” Sophie shouted over her son’s racket. She was an elegant figure, dressed in white pants and a pink top, and had her blonde hair tied up ponytail. She walked out of the kitchen into the living room, and held James in her arms. Graham soon came in as well, smiling. He still had the same crisp haircut from a year ago, when he had met with Blaid and Feiz.

 

“What happened?” He asked, looking adoringly at his only son. He had a grim thought that it might have something to do with… Shadex. He may not know who he was, but he knew to fear him at the way even Blaid, a merciless fighter, shuddered at the thought of him.

 

“B-b-bla-blah.” James spluttered, spitting as he did this. “BLADE!” He suddenly screamed, and Graham knew one thing. His son wasn’t talking about a blade, but about Blaid.

 

“His… first word?” Sophie asked confused, wondering why her son had suddenly said ‘blade’. James seemed to zone out for a moment, and he reached out into the air, seeing Blaid in front of him. Blaid was reaching out, trying to hold onto James long enough to make a stable bridge.

 

“Shadex must go. Shadex must go. Shadex must go.” He repeated, but soon, the connection was terminated. James returned to his home, surprised by the sudden change of surroundings. He looked around round-eyed, his jaw slack.

 

“Shadix mustard gu” He blubbered, and Graham was horrified.

 

“Hun, I’ve gotta attend to... some important business…” He said hastily, and he thought hard. Blaid… Blaid.. .Blaid, can you hear me? Reach out to me… Reach out to me… Reach out me… Soon he found himself in a dark void, Blaid on the far side. “Blaid!” He shouted, and he ran towards him, but found the ground under him collapsing. Blaid held onto him, hauling him up towards Dorhenyr.

 

“Save us will you?” Blaid asked hurriedly, fleeing with several other Crexilon. He had his sister in one arm and Graham in the other. The demons had started to devour the world, sinking into the ground and turning it into a part of a void. “We need something bright… Something really bright…” Blaid said, still fleeing. His eyes were now glowing the same sad blue as before, now mixed with horror, anger and fear.

 

“A portal!” One of the other sorcerers shouted, and they gathered in a circle, channeling all their energy into the planet. A shining something appeared in the middle of the ring and it changed to a gleaming sword, white and gold. Feiz crashed into the ring, sending them sprawling on the ground. He picked up the sword, slashing in the air, and large cuts of light burned through the demons, destroying parts of the void, replacing it with nothing.

 

“Destroy all the demons and send us away from this place!” Feiz cried, and the sword started gleaming, blinding shockwaves erupting from it, spreading throughout the realm. The demons instantly disappeared, and the fallen Crexilon woke up, still weak but hope full. The realm was spinning around, and soon everything disappeared.

 

Then it reappeared, and two large planets could be seen, one with rings around it. Blaid’s sister wriggled in his arm, and he let her down. Her platinum hair was ruffled, and her wing feathers seemed too tired to fly. Her sky blue dress was straightening itself, and she looked around the realm. She gasped when she saw Feiz lying on the ground with sign of life in him.

 

“Wh-What happened?” She asked, but as usual, she said it demandingly, and Blaid couldn’t answer. Feiz’s bright red hair had turned pale, and his flesh was glowing, and the sword that he had used was no longer there. Blaid ran over and held him, and he had a calm smile on his face. Blaid also felt a strange calmness wash over him, but it was uncomfortable. It was a forced calmness, and he was horrified at himself. He stood up, and he saw Graham gasping, his face turning red. Blaid remembered what he had read about.

 

“It is said that Tyrulians need a substance call ‘Oxygen’, something they need to survive. The atmosphere they live in produces it, and no mortal from Tyrul can live without it.” He read. “Oxygen.. They need Oxygen…” Blaid muttered, and he stepped back into the shadows, and disappeared.

 

“You alright now?” Blaid asked Graham as he knocked on an apartment door. He was now taking in large intakes of air, relieved. Sophie came and opened the door, confused why there was an abnormally tall wing person with claws standing there, holding her husband. “Gree-Hello Soapie.” Blaid began, and he stepped into the apartment, hitting his head on the way in. He turned around so quickly and slashed at the door, and it fell onto the floor with a loud thud.

 

“Sophie.” Graham hissed, and he stood up, only to collapse on the sofa.

 

“Ah.. yes… Sophie, I trust my mas- Jemes is alright?” Blaid continued, staring curiously at the humming washing machine.

 

“It’s James.” Sophie said bluntly, taking her coffee of a bench.

 

“CAFFO!” Blaid suddenly yelled, his eyes lighting up with glee. He looked around the room, trying to sniff out the source of the coffee. When he failed, he sighed, and to his relief, he saw James pointing at him, jumping up and down and laughing. Blaid left the apartment, and disappeared.

 

As the Huntress flew back towards the void where Shadex was, she knew what she was going to do. She charged into the room, stunning Shadex and throwing him towards a black hole, stripping him of all his Items. She pushed him back towards the hole, but he managed to summon a few of them to follow him, and they disappeared into the black hole, gone from all existence….

 

Don't understand something? Then email Blaid @ [email protected] !

[bury the year]

Text blocks. I hate text blocks. Break it up into individual paragraphs, or I won't go to the trouble of reading this and hurting my eyes in the process.

[Crystal Beast 123]

It's okay. A bit more background, and as Rinne said, no text blocks. But other than that, great.

 

7/10

[Kaisu]

Okay, but I haven't really got the hang of paragraphs, so I tend not to use them.

[Weather Report - Stand]

Oh~kay, then. KaiKae pmed me about reviewing this, so I guess I will.

[spoiler=Prolouge]

[align=center]He shall come from the first realm

He shall become the master

Of the Items of the Light

He shall destroy all darkness

And He shall be person

That is His true self

May the master win

Out of truth

The prophecy of the realms[/align]

Why orange? No reason today. So...THE QUEST. Sounds typical. So he'll be the person that's his true self' date=' 'ya say? A riddle, or gibberish? YOO decide![/color']

A man laughed, rocking his chair. “May the Master win? Not possible with me around.” The man said menacingly.OH NO!! THE MAN WAS WATCHING US READ THAT THE WHOLE TIME!! He was in a wooden cabin, in a leather armchair with a fireplace in front of him.Dagnabbit, I HATE wooden cabins most of all. The cabin was created in Nowhere, a distorted space that connected all the realms.Hey, I LOVE nowhere! It's got an AWESOME name! Doesn't Courage the cowardly dog live there(Cartoon Network joke. I loved that show)? The man was called Shadex. He held most of the Items of the Darkness. He had a Black mask covering his face, a rapier that reflected only darkness thrust inside his belt, a black gauntlet that had blood-red rubies in the place of the knuckles and on the other hand a glove with a ring that showed a dragon’s head with a ruby on the top of his head, and more rubies for its eyes.He had a mask-belt and a ruby-knuckle glove and a dragon-ring-finger-ring with more rubies. WOAH, THAT'S ALOT OF STUFF WITHOUT PERIODS. He had black amour that was streaked with red, but covered by a long black coat. He was a shady-looking man in general, though an impressive figure. Okay, he's the dark knight from Monty Python. We GET it already. He threw the parchment into the fireplace, and laughed. Wait...we were reading HIS mail at the beginning? THAT'S a peda no-no. And who sends mail to Nowhere? It's like a letter to Santa. Or...SO THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED TO THE LETTER I NEVER ADDRESSED!! I feel bad now. "Fire, begone!” He instructed. There was a boom in his voice as he spoke, and the fire quickly put itself out.M-M-M-MAGIIIIIC?!?! Of course. Well, I enjoy magic stories(like Fairy Tail, by Hiro Mashima!!), so this is looking up. He stepped up towards the fire, his leather boots lighting up whenever some ember passed. The words of the prophecy were clearly visible through the ashes.What rude mail. How do you see dark print in black ashes? Unless it was written by a BLUE pen... or quill... whatever. The man screamed out in rage. “Begone!” The man yelled again, this time pulling out the rapier, which turned into a sword, encrusted with rubies and Drason, an extremely rare gemstone infused with darkness.Le gasp! Drason, the gemstone that sounds nothing like dragon that is so important that we always capitlize it! Sacre bleu! The thick blade quickly burst into flame, sensing his feelings. The flame shot out of the sword and into the floor of the fireplace, creating a hole leading to Nowhere.I'm confused now. Didn't you say he was already in a cabin in nowhere? How could he make a portal that leads right outside without feeling lazy? “Return to the infinite reaches of Nowhere!” He shouted as more flames shot out of the sword and made the hole larger. Uh, still there.The prophecy broke apart, reforming into four words. THE PROPHECY SHALLL PROVAIL. Wow. That guy who sent that hate mail really doesn't know how to spell. ON PURPOSE?! Then the man got sucked towards the hole, as a torrent blew all over the cabin. The cabin was being distorted completely into the hole. He smashed the gauntlet into the ground, and darkness crept out from underneath the gauntlet, quickly sinking into the hole. The gauntlet. The gauntlet. Could you refrain from saying the same thing twice? The hold got larger, and the darkness couldn’t to anything.What hold? Hold what? He had created a hole in the universe somewhere between Nowhere and the first realm. “Take me to the final realm!” He commanded, before jumping into the hole. The cabin was sucked by the torrent into the hole, and disappeared. How do we know which one is the final realm? Are they numbered? And why was he trying to go there? What's so 'final' about it? Why was he in Nowhere? We got no real answer about this, since we just saw a knight undergo a temper tantrum. He's the knight of spam? And why can't we all live in Realm #4? All of these (non)burning questions... and more... will be revealed... NEXT TIME.

 

 

Oh~kay. I didn't get any of that. A synopsis...

 

[align=center]A man who lives in the middle of Nowhere with Courage, the cowardly dog, is seted happily and content in his heavy, heavy armor.

THAT IS... UNTIL HE GETS AN ANNOYING PEICE OF MAIL.

He destroys the document, enraged to find that THE WORDS WERE STILL IN THE ASHES OF THE FIRE IN HIS FIREPLACE IN HIS CABIN IN NOWHERE!!

So he makes a portal into dimension number 42 for NO APPARENT REASON.

THE. END.

So... make paragraphs(as told by others), explain stuff, and make it overall less... random-feeling. It's alright, but I just don't understand anything.[/align]

[Kaisu]

Oh~kay' date=' then. KaiKae pmed me about reviewing this, so I guess I will.

[spoiler=Prolouge]

[align=center]He shall come from the first realm

He shall become the master

Of the Items of the Light

He shall destroy all darkness

And He shall be person

That is His true self

May the master win

Out of truth

The prophecy of the realms[/align]

Why orange? No reason today. So...THE QUEST. Sounds typical. So he'll be the person that's his true self, 'ya say? A riddle, or gibberish? YOO decide!

A man laughed, rocking his chair. “May the Master win? Not possible with me around.” The man said menacingly.OH NO!! THE MAN WAS WATCHING US READ THAT THE WHOLE TIME!! He was in a wooden cabin, in a leather armchair with a fireplace in front of him.Dagnabbit, I HATE wooden cabins most of all. The cabin was created in Nowhere, a distorted space that connected all the realms.Hey, I LOVE nowhere! It's got an AWESOME name! Doesn't Courage the cowardly dog live there(Cartoon Network joke. I loved that show)? The man was called Shadex. He held most of the Items of the Darkness. He had a Black mask covering his face, a rapier that reflected only darkness thrust inside his belt, a black gauntlet that had blood-red rubies in the place of the knuckles and on the other hand a glove with a ring that showed a dragon’s head with a ruby on the top of his head, and more rubies for its eyes.He had a mask-belt and a ruby-knuckle glove and a dragon-ring-finger-ring with more rubies. WOAH, THAT'S ALOT OF STUFF WITHOUT PERIODS. He had black amour that was streaked with red, but covered by a long black coat. He was a shady-looking man in general, though an impressive figure. Okay, he's the dark knight from Monty Python. We GET it already. He threw the parchment into the fireplace, and laughed. Wait...we were reading HIS mail at the beginning? THAT'S a peda no-no. And who sends mail to Nowhere? It's like a letter to Santa. Or...SO THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED TO THE LETTER I NEVER ADDRESSED!! I feel bad now. "Fire, begone!” He instructed. There was a boom in his voice as he spoke, and the fire quickly put itself out.M-M-M-MAGIIIIIC?!?! Of course. Well, I enjoy magic stories(like Fairy Tail, by Hiro Mashima!!), so this is looking up. He stepped up towards the fire, his leather boots lighting up whenever some ember passed. The words of the prophecy were clearly visible through the ashes.What rude mail. How do you see dark print in black ashes? Unless it was written by a BLUE pen... or quill... whatever. The man screamed out in rage. “Begone!” The man yelled again, this time pulling out the rapier, which turned into a sword, encrusted with rubies and Drason, an extremely rare gemstone infused with darkness.Le gasp! Drason, the gemstone that sounds nothing like dragon that is so important that we always capitlize it! Sacre bleu! The thick blade quickly burst into flame, sensing his feelings. The flame shot out of the sword and into the floor of the fireplace, creating a hole leading to Nowhere.I'm confused now. Didn't you say he was already in a cabin in nowhere? How could he make a portal that leads right outside without feeling lazy? “Return to the infinite reaches of Nowhere!” He shouted as more flames shot out of the sword and made the hole larger. Uh, still there.The prophecy broke apart, reforming into four words. THE PROPHECY SHALLL PROVAIL. Wow. That guy who sent that hate mail really doesn't know how to spell. ON PURPOSE?! Then the man got sucked towards the hole, as a torrent blew all over the cabin. The cabin was being distorted completely into the hole. He smashed the gauntlet into the ground, and darkness crept out from underneath the gauntlet, quickly sinking into the hole. The gauntlet. The gauntlet. Could you refrain from saying the same thing twice? The hold got larger, and the darkness couldn’t to anything.What hold? Hold what? He had created a hole in the universe somewhere between Nowhere and the first realm. “Take me to the final realm!” He commanded, before jumping into the hole. The cabin was sucked by the torrent into the hole, and disappeared. How do we know which one is the final realm? Are they numbered? And why was he trying to go there? What's so 'final' about it? Why was he in Nowhere? We got no real answer about this, since we just saw a knight undergo a temper tantrum. He's the knight of spam? And why can't we all live in Realm #4? All of these (non)burning questions... and more... will be revealed... NEXT TIME.

 

 

Oh~kay. I didn't get any of that. A synopsis...

 

A man who lives in the middle of Nowhere with Courage, the cowardly dog, is seted happily and content in his heavy, heavy armor.

THAT IS... UNTIL HE GETS AN ANNOYING PEICE OF MAIL.

He destroys the document, enraged to find that THE WORDS WERE STILL IN THE ASHES OF THE FIRE IN HIS FIREPLACE IN HIS CABIN IN NOWHERE!!

So he makes a portal into dimension number 42 for NO APPARENT REASON.

THE. END.

So... make paragraphs(as told by others), explain stuff, and make it overall less... random-feeling. It's alright, but I just don't understand anything.

This is a prolouge, so it's supposed to be a bit muddled, but I see your point.

When I get the first chapter up, it shouold be less confusing.

[Weather Report - Stand]

Oh~kay' date=' then. KaiKae pmed me about reviewing this, so I guess I will.

[spoiler=Prolouge]

[align=center]He shall come from the first realm

He shall become the master

Of the Items of the Light

He shall destroy all darkness

And He shall be person

That is His true self

May the master win

Out of truth

The prophecy of the realms[/align]

Why orange? No reason today. So...THE QUEST. Sounds typical. So he'll be the person that's his true self, 'ya say? A riddle, or gibberish? YOO decide!

A man laughed, rocking his chair. “May the Master win? Not possible with me around.” The man said menacingly.OH NO!! THE MAN WAS WATCHING US READ THAT THE WHOLE TIME!! He was in a wooden cabin, in a leather armchair with a fireplace in front of him.Dagnabbit, I HATE wooden cabins most of all. The cabin was created in Nowhere, a distorted space that connected all the realms.Hey, I LOVE nowhere! It's got an AWESOME name! Doesn't Courage the cowardly dog live there(Cartoon Network joke. I loved that show)? The man was called Shadex. He held most of the Items of the Darkness. He had a Black mask covering his face, a rapier that reflected only darkness thrust inside his belt, a black gauntlet that had blood-red rubies in the place of the knuckles and on the other hand a glove with a ring that showed a dragon’s head with a ruby on the top of his head, and more rubies for its eyes.He had a mask-belt and a ruby-knuckle glove and a dragon-ring-finger-ring with more rubies. WOAH, THAT'S ALOT OF STUFF WITHOUT PERIODS. He had black amour that was streaked with red, but covered by a long black coat. He was a shady-looking man in general, though an impressive figure. Okay, he's the dark knight from Monty Python. We GET it already. He threw the parchment into the fireplace, and laughed. Wait...we were reading HIS mail at the beginning? THAT'S a peda no-no. And who sends mail to Nowhere? It's like a letter to Santa. Or...SO THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED TO THE LETTER I NEVER ADDRESSED!! I feel bad now. "Fire, begone!” He instructed. There was a boom in his voice as he spoke, and the fire quickly put itself out.M-M-M-MAGIIIIIC?!?! Of course. Well, I enjoy magic stories(like Fairy Tail, by Hiro Mashima!!), so this is looking up. He stepped up towards the fire, his leather boots lighting up whenever some ember passed. The words of the prophecy were clearly visible through the ashes.What rude mail. How do you see dark print in black ashes? Unless it was written by a BLUE pen... or quill... whatever. The man screamed out in rage. “Begone!” The man yelled again, this time pulling out the rapier, which turned into a sword, encrusted with rubies and Drason, an extremely rare gemstone infused with darkness.Le gasp! Drason, the gemstone that sounds nothing like dragon that is so important that we always capitlize it! Sacre bleu! The thick blade quickly burst into flame, sensing his feelings. The flame shot out of the sword and into the floor of the fireplace, creating a hole leading to Nowhere.I'm confused now. Didn't you say he was already in a cabin in nowhere? How could he make a portal that leads right outside without feeling lazy? “Return to the infinite reaches of Nowhere!” He shouted as more flames shot out of the sword and made the hole larger. Uh, still there.The prophecy broke apart, reforming into four words. THE PROPHECY SHALLL PROVAIL. Wow. That guy who sent that hate mail really doesn't know how to spell. ON PURPOSE?! Then the man got sucked towards the hole, as a torrent blew all over the cabin. The cabin was being distorted completely into the hole. He smashed the gauntlet into the ground, and darkness crept out from underneath the gauntlet, quickly sinking into the hole. The gauntlet. The gauntlet. Could you refrain from saying the same thing twice? The hold got larger, and the darkness couldn’t to anything.What hold? Hold what? He had created a hole in the universe somewhere between Nowhere and the first realm. “Take me to the final realm!” He commanded, before jumping into the hole. The cabin was sucked by the torrent into the hole, and disappeared. How do we know which one is the final realm? Are they numbered? And why was he trying to go there? What's so 'final' about it? Why was he in Nowhere? We got no real answer about this, since we just saw a knight undergo a temper tantrum. He's the knight of spam? And why can't we all live in Realm #4? All of these (non)burning questions... and more... will be revealed... NEXT TIME.

 

 

Oh~kay. I didn't get any of that. A synopsis...

 

A man who lives in the middle of Nowhere with Courage, the cowardly dog, is seted happily and content in his heavy, heavy armor.

THAT IS... UNTIL HE GETS AN ANNOYING PEICE OF MAIL.

He destroys the document, enraged to find that THE WORDS WERE STILL IN THE ASHES OF THE FIRE IN HIS FIREPLACE IN HIS CABIN IN NOWHERE!!

So he makes a portal into dimension number 42 for NO APPARENT REASON.

THE. END.

So... make paragraphs(as told by others), explain stuff, and make it overall less... random-feeling. It's alright, but I just don't understand anything.

This is a prolouge, so it's supposed to be a bit muddled, but I see your point.

When I get the first chapter up, it shouold be less confusing.

HUZZAH!!

[Kaisu]

Edited.

And HUZZAH?

Also, the first chapter needs total re-writing.

[Toxic-skull]

Meh. Can anyone care to read my FanFic? Link's in my sig.

 

i don't think it needs a rewrite...as a writer the mear readers just need to learn that you write like that is all. I really like it so far very mysteries person design is done well can't wait tell next ch is up.

[Kaisu]

No, I meant Ch1 needs a rewrite, this is only the prolouge. I've decided-

The first chapter show you what all the insanity in the Prolouge was about, explain the worlds. Mind you, it will change.

The second will introduce something else.

The third, our Hero will be introduced.

[Toxic-skull]

oh by bad....

[Guest Supreme Gamesmaster]

Use a more variable vocabulary; the writing is redundant. Also, the spacing is... less than dramatic, to say the least.

[Kaisu]

I just randomly did the spacing,

as for the vocabulary, well, I can't do much.

Chapter One will be up by tomorrow, I almost finsihed it.

[Guest Supreme Gamesmaster]

You should use the spacing for emphasis. It's among the most powerful tools in an author's arsenal.

[Kaisu]

Err... how? Could you show me?

Oh and the first chapter will be up tomorrow, I'll be able to finish it tonight.

[Guest Supreme Gamesmaster]

Ah... hard to say. Read DARKEST for some indication, though it's among my worse literary endeavors.

[Kaisu]

CHAPTER ONE IS UP!

[Toxic-skull]

first ch is awsome i like it

[bury the year]

Ow... Put a blank line in between each paragraph, and then we'll talk.

[Kaisu]

Okay, I'll do that.

EDIT:Done.

[Kaisu]

Well, BUMP.

The second chapter's coming along slowly...

When I get a sudden urge to write, expect it to be up within 1/2 days from then.. whenever that is..

[Kaisu]

BUMP?

Anyways, the next chapter will be up by next week.

[Kaisu]

CHAPTER 2 is being updated!

Chapter Three will be up soon, and it will be set 7 Tyrul years from now,

when James is at school.

[Toxic-skull]

yea nother ch2 read and still really good keep it up

[Bassa]

This is a fantastic story Can't wait for more of it to come out. Will definetly be watching out for more. One thing i would say is to read through (I know it is long) and check for some spelling mistakes but apart from that Brilliant!!!

 

Kind regards