Skyfi Posted June 17, 2009 Report Share Posted June 17, 2009 [spoiler=[b]Chapter 1: Prologue[/b]]It has been nearly 70 Years, since the adventure's of Yusei, Jack, and the gang. All of them have passed away except Aki, Now a widow, who likes to tell children stories. New Domino City is the same as before and no progress has been made...Or has it? A Group of scientist Including a descendant of the evil Rex Goodwin, Masaru Goodwin have been working under New Domino City, building something. Something big. The public has been told it is just the pipelines being worked on. "Have a great Night children" The old widow said as she grabbed her old duel disk and deck. The phone rang. "Hello?" "Hello, Aki." A Dark voice responded. "Who is this? I'm going to hang up now." Aki said as a abnormal chill went down her spine. "Very well Mrs.- I Mean Ms. Izzayoi, we just wanted to Invite you to meet me, You see I was good friends with Yusei, it's a tragic thing what happened to him. If your not busy can we meet? If so meet me down by the old Kaiba Dome." Aki had a bad feeling about this, The voice seemed to ring a bell to her. "Thank you for your invitation, Mr...?" "Uryu" The dark voice responded. "Ok... I'll meet you their." Aki responded as she put her deck in her pocket and her duel disk on her arm. Within 15 Minutes, Aki was standing in the middle of an Abandoned Kaiba dome. Aki remembered Years ago when she was still a kid, and and not a 88 Year old lady, dueling in this arena. Then she remembered the Fortune cup Finale when Yusei had defeated Jack. The crowd was so loud, and now there was only the sound Of Crickets. Aki saw a figure, of a young man, walking towards her. "Mr.Uryu is that you?" Aki yelled, as she took a few steps back and as her heart started to pump harder then ever. "Actually Uryu is just a cover name, I usually go my the name Masaru. Masaru Goodwin." The young man pulled out a duel disk. A Ring of fire surrounded Aki and Masaru. "Did you say Goodwin!? Well no matter, You think just because i'm Old I have no fight in me!? You thing just because my husband just died i'm Vulnerable?! Well your wrong!" Aki pulled out her duel disk and drew 5 Cards. Aki: 4000Masaru: 4000 "The first move is mine! I Play 3 face down cards. End turn" Masaru exclaimed "My Turn! I Normal Summon my Twilight Rose Night! This allows me to Special Summon 1 level 4 Or lower plant monster, so i'll bring out my Violet Witch! Now go Tune! Chilling flames engulf the entire world! Pitch-dark flower, set into bloom! Synchro Summon! Black Rose Dragon! Attack Him directly!" "Not so fast Aki, I Activate my trap card! Alter of the Earthbound god! Aki took a step back, and fell to the ground "No. No. No. It can't be, The Earthbound God's?! This can only mean-" Aki fell to the ground. Her heart started to fail. Uryu ripped off his right sleeve revealing, the glowing purple mark of a Spider Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mutant Monster RAEG-HAPYP Posted June 17, 2009 Report Share Posted June 17, 2009 Epic Winz MOAR?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skyfi Posted June 17, 2009 Author Report Share Posted June 17, 2009 Thanks more will come, probably a chapter everyday or so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JG. Posted June 17, 2009 Report Share Posted June 17, 2009 I had guessed that about Uyru lol. A few grammar errors here and there, but still very good. But if you kill Aki, I swear I will kill you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skyfi Posted June 17, 2009 Author Report Share Posted June 17, 2009 But if you kill Aki' date=' I swear I will kill you.[/quote']Lolz, I wasn't going to do that :lol:[/sarcasm] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Umbra Posted June 17, 2009 Report Share Posted June 17, 2009 Not that good. Grammar and spelling being the biggest issue, generic plot devices the second biggest. Everyone and their grandmother's dog has made a story about a main character's children. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skyfi Posted June 17, 2009 Author Report Share Posted June 17, 2009 Only one problem with that, I didn't put anybody's children in this. At all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Umbra Posted June 17, 2009 Report Share Posted June 17, 2009 Only one problem with that' date=' I didn't put anybody's children in this. At all.[/quote'] Including a descendant of the evil Rex Goodwin, Masaru Goodwin A child of a child is not any better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RyanAtlus Posted June 17, 2009 Report Share Posted June 17, 2009 Only one problem with that' date=' I didn't put anybody's children in this. At all.[/quote'] Including a descendant of the evil Rex Goodwin, Masaru Goodwin A child of a child is not any better. So fics are considered bad if they've got a main characters grandson in it?You should've told me before I started... OnT: By the looks of your Grammar, you're not a native English speaker, so I forgive you for that. Can I conclude that Akiza was married to Yusei? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skyfi Posted June 17, 2009 Author Report Share Posted June 17, 2009 Can I conclude that Akiza was married to Yusei?Yes, you can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.:Traceur:. Posted June 18, 2009 Report Share Posted June 18, 2009 this fic is awesome...the story is nice...^^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skyfi Posted June 18, 2009 Author Report Share Posted June 18, 2009 Thank's Dominic the next chapter will be up today or tomorrow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.:Traceur:. Posted June 18, 2009 Report Share Posted June 18, 2009 np...i will read it and replay...^^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skyfi Posted June 18, 2009 Author Report Share Posted June 18, 2009 Thanks ^_^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.:Traceur:. Posted June 18, 2009 Report Share Posted June 18, 2009 plz could you read and replay on my fic..link is in my signature...thanks^^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TheFinalFan Posted June 21, 2009 Report Share Posted June 21, 2009 Kill Aki, but make her a Dark Signer and young again! P.S. Sorry, but I'm impulsive....P.P.S. Follow the link! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rustyowl Posted June 22, 2009 Report Share Posted June 22, 2009 Grammer is a major flaw here, however, I'll let it slide. (Maybe work on it a little though, I suggest grammer check.) The story isn't written well, however I see potential in the plot. But you have a lot of work to do if you want to have an overall good fanfic in my standards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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